Missing Teaspoons and Other Very Important Issues


And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon by Randolph Caldecott



Once upon a time two little teaspoons went missing, or so the Lady of Cutlery thought. She didn’t bother to look for the little teaspoons. She wasn’t really the least bit interested in the welfare of the teaspoons at all. Her only interest was in the fact that she believed them to be missing, and that someone else was to blame for the crime against cutlery. She was very angry. Livid. Her rancour needed an outlet. So she sought out a vessel into which she could pour her fury.

A child wandered into the kitchen and was immediately chosen as the Keeper of the Blame. An honour perhaps. The child was not sure at first, but two hours later, after listening to a seemingly interminable screaming lecture, it did not feel like an honour at all.

The Lady of Cutlery was certain that the child had misused the very valuable little inexpensive stainless steel non-heirloom teaspoons. Obviously after eating a pot of yoghurt, the child had thrown away a teaspoon with the empty pot. And committed this crime not once, but twice. It was a certainty which did not need proof. The Lady of the Cutlery did not need such paltry things as proof to throw accusations around, and find one worthy of blaming.

Eventually the child grew bored of being the Keeper of the Blame of something they were certain that they had not done, and they unraveled the mystery of the missing little teaspoons, by proving that they were not missing at all. The Lady of the Cutlery had thought wrongly that there were six teaspoons in the cutlery draw when actually there had only ever been four, and all four were still safely in their section.

The Lady of the Cutlery was a bit embarrassed, but these sort of misunderstandings happen and children need to learn from them. Cutlery was something to be taken seriously and any crimes committed against them were severely punished.

The child sighed. This was not the first time they had been accused of crimes they had not committed, and it would not be the last. The Lady of Cutlery was also the Screamer when Glasses get Broken. The Yeller when Juice was Spilled on Carpets. The Hater of Fingerprints on Glass and Footprints on Tile Flooring. And many other very vitally important roles.

The child was never allowed to get away with anything, especially things they had not done.

Many years later the child grew up and realised what a psycho the Lady of Cutlery and all her other roles was. And decided that the most important lesson learned from all the misunderstandings which had happened was that there are certain things which are not important and not worth getting upset about.

When spoons go missing, perhaps they had a place to be and went there. When glasses get broken, as long as no one is injured during the breaking, then it is just an object seeking reincarnation therapy. Things spilled on carpets, are just memories painting themselves on the canvas on the floor. And fingerprints and footprints are the signs that those to whom they belong were there momentarily, living, breathing, and doing. A beautiful proof of life.

So, Do you have any stories of missing teaspoons or similar issues of importance to share?


  1. On another realm, I was the catalyst of broken sorrows, paying for all my future sins and those of my keepers…although only a wee child with no criminal history.


    • I was watching a documentary a while ago about a serial killer and there was clip where the mother of the serial killer went to the police and asked for protection from her son because – He is evil and I’ve always known he was evil since he was a small child, and I think he wants to kill me. The serial killer’s older brother was also a murderer (just not a serial killer). Throughout the documentary they kept insisting that these two men were born evil and that nurture had nothing to do with who they had become and how they had behaved, yet at the same time they mentioned how abusive the parents had been towards their sons since their children were born. There was an insistence that the parents were not in any way to be blamed, and that in fact the parents were victims of their children’s nature. That is illogical.

      Parents are very quick to claim credit when their children are good members of society, successful and productive. They will say that they taught their children to be that way, that they made them who they are, that their nurturing shaped the nature of the child into a valuable adult. However if their children turn out to be bad members of society, failures and unproductive, the parents quickly wash their hands of it, they had nothing to do with it, they tried to train their child to be good, but their child was born bad and there was nothing they could do, it’s not their fault, they are good parents who had a bad child, they are a victim of nature, an evil nature that refused their good nurturing.

      I do think the emphasis on it not being the fault of the parents was due to possible legal ramifications as the serial killer might use the documentary to appeal his sentence. It did feel as though they were tip-toeing around the issue very carefully.

      That’s an extreme case. Most children who suffer abuse at the hands and mouths of their parents do not go to the extreme, but the abuse still has an extreme effect on the children, and on the adults who those children become. The work of Alice Miller and R.D. Laing go into that in depth. How we absorb the abuse and to survive it we create a myth for ourselves, and the myth becomes so ingrained in our psyche that we are hardly aware of it, and when we are aware of it, it is very hard to break the pattern it has set in motion. One of the most common myths we create is that of having had a happy childhood. Sometimes the childhood seemed that way because the abuse was subtle, a constant drip drip drip of undermining which accumulates over time inside the child until it wears them away.

      Breaking the stories about ourselves which have been embedded within us is very difficult as it is a part of us, who we are, but we can alter it and flip it around. Thus being a catalyst of broken sorrows can become a powerful gift, once the gift is harnessed, such as what you are doing with your blog and your writing. But you have to be watchful and make sure that you get as much as you give from what you are doing, as you are also a catalyst for your own sorrow. So always take care of yourself first.


      • I always feel my heart sing when someone speaks out for the innocence of the child. Its not easy to grow up in a home where you cant be yourself or just relax. Some abuse can be so subtle that its hard to find its source in later life. The child can be a target that absorbs the repressed history and frustrations of a parent who has never bought it to light. Worst still is to confront a parent and then have it denied. It helped me to understand that a schism grows where what the child sees and knows to be happening is denied by the parent. Chilld abuse in all forms leaves such a painful legacy. No one issue could be more important to the healing of our world. I just loved this story of the missing teaspoons.


  2. Your writing is powerful, brilliant, original and all those other adjectives that describe pure genius! And incredibly healing especially when one can smile while seeing themselves in your words even though what you are writing about is of a painful situation.

    Lightbulb moment just now , this and your writing in general to me is a live and in living color description of a 3rd house Mars in Scorpio, ruled by a Jupiter/Uranus/Pluto conjunction. Does any of these placements aspect Chiron by any chance?


    • Thank you very much 😀

      I did the astro on my writing when I first started blogging because I was curious about how come I could suddenly do it so easily when before in my life each time I tried to express myself in writing it was so difficult due to Virgo/Scorpio. Occasionally I think I write a brilliant piece, and that’s a great feeling, but more than anything what matters to me is to keep the flow going because I’m learning a lot from it. So it makes sense for Chiron to be a part of it. And yes, Chiron opp Pluto/Uranus/Jupiter. Everything started to flow like a dam being burst when I had my Uranus opp Uranus transit, and Uranus was conjunct Chiron/NN then too. So it freed me from my restraints.

      I can see the different parts of my chart sometimes as I am writing, and I go – Hello, Venus in Pisces, we’re having a life is beautiful moment are we? – or – Not you again, Mars in Scorpio, can we not dig for buried treasure for just one day – or – Mercury! Mars! Stop arguing for just one minute! – But overall I think that Gemini on the MC, with Mars in the 3rd are the primary motivators, Sun and Mercury in 5th are supportive, Pluto/Uranus influence subject matter and style. My T-square Moon/Nep/Venus is an undercurrent as the Moon is the engine of my chart, and it’s actually the T-square working with me rather than against me. I can’t write about what my mind wants me to write about, it’s very bossy sometimes and tries to direct my focus but my focus has to be based on feeling not intellect or it scatters (that’s the energy of the T-square) when I try to write from the mind alone my words fail me, I have to write based on feeling in tune with something or feeling a push to express something.

      Jupiter has more of an influence than ever now because Jup in Cancer is aspecting quite a bit at the mo and is in my 11th.


  3. This could be a story from my life! I had that mother! I’m just discovering your website but am already seeing so many similarities with my story. Thank you for everything.


    • Thank you 🙂

      I remember many years ago watching the film – Mommie Dearest (1981) – and thinking – that’s my mother! It was just one piece of a puzzle and it’s taken me a long time to collect all the pieces, put them together, and make a picture out of it which now makes sense. I always knew something was wrong, I just spent most of my life thinking that what was wrong was me. And parents with NPD tend to confirm and continuously repeat that concept that you, their child, is the problem and they’re perfect and putting up with your imperfections because they’re wonderful like that. The hardest part is deprogramming yourself from the programming they forced deeply into your psyche.

      The internet has been immensely helpful because their are so many Adult Children of Narcissists (ACoNs) telling their stories, many daughters of Narcissistic Mothers relating what they went through, what they are still going through, and sharing their experiences of healing the mess and pain.

      Never give up on yourself!


Comments are closed.