A Quiet Truth


CamouflageCat by MoonVooDoo

I have a confession. I like blogging when I think all other bloggers are asleep. Partly this is due to the fact that that is when I can do it, and partly it is due to the quiet truth that I think no one will see my posts. I know… it’s a bit of a contradiction. Why blog if you don’t want anyone to see your posts?

I blog as a challenge to myself, to my tendency to be secretive, to my intense shyness, to my feeling that… hmmm… no one is really interested in what I have to say or show. Is that true? That just popped out. I need time to think it through. And that is another reason I blog, because I talk to myself when I write my posts, and as the conversation unfolds I discover things which lie within me that I would not have uncovered otherwise. For me blogging is a selfish indulgence which nourishes me.

I was observing someone I am following who keeps posting their stats. How much attention their blog is getting via views and followers. I admire them, they revel in every detail of the blogging universe. It’s fascinating. Like watching another species.

I have to say the only time I see my stats is when I click to see who is following me, so I can check out their blogs, and I end up on the stat page… which annoys the hell out of me. I still have a lot to learn about how WordPress works. Fiddly thing! Stats are not something my brain is interested in, humans, the ones creating the blogs, are. I would like to care about these squiggly things called stats, but I don’t. Perhaps it is because I am dyslexic and… numbers and stuff just confuse my brain. But it is more likely that it is due to my shyness… I don’t want to know, if I know it might freak me out too much and I might act on the ever present urge to wipe myself off the internet and return to the seclusion of my hermit’s cave.

I was a lurker for a long time before I engaged in social media. I was pushed into it by a very friendly hand who gave me a Twitter and Facebook account as a Christmas gift. I thought they were crazy, but I like being challenged (in every sense of the meaning of that). So I gave it a go. Quite enjoyed it… and then another friend nudged me into tumblr. That was a while ago… Christmas before last.

I have since died and reincarnated cyber wise. When I first started my new tumblr… long story short… one day an image I posted ended up on tumblr radar – I can see why, it was a stunning creation by a very talented artist – and overnight I went from about fifty followers to over two thousand. I freaked. Too much attention all at once. But I managed to keep my introverted head and plow on. It’s been wonderful really, and I wouldn’t want Doctor Who to mess with my blogging past. I now have just over three thousand followers on tumblr… I feel really weird mentioning my follower count. I don’t really understand what it means. I have much to learn, and blogging is a continuous source of lessons. Of challenges. That’s one of the things I truly adore about it. What will I discover next. What part of me will be forced to grow, evolve, adapt, and blossom.

I still haven’t learned how to write a short post, maybe I never will… maybe I don’t want to. There. I said stuff, now what?