A Story of Uranus Transiting the Eighth House

Survivor

Sometimes I think astrology is bullshit. Sometimes it is. And sometimes it is so incredibly spot on that I stare at it open-mouthed wondering how on earth it knows what it knows. That’s what I’m doing right now.

If you have been following astrology recently, you may have spotted that astrologers everywhere are astro-buzzing about the square between transiting Uranus in Aries and transiting Pluto in Capricorn. Radical change on the warpath meets destructive transformation of structure and established order. Chaos rules and it has no intention of being ordered and tidy, things are messy, will get messier, but eventually, once the old has been demolished, that which lies underneath will become fertile ground for the new to grow and be built upon. Or something like that.

Usually I only get to see the work of a transit in retrospect, mainly because while it is doing its thing I am so caught up in what is happening that I don’t have time or focus to see the universal picture. This time though, things are different, perhaps because Uranus and Pluto are involved.

I was born at the tail end of the generation who had Uranus and Pluto conjunct. Natally these two are located in my 1st house of the self, and so their energies, combined and separate are very familiar to me. I embody them. I am very Plutonian and Uranian. I have always struggled with such powerful energies, and have spent much of my life feeling like a freak who crash landed on Earth and then didn’t know how to get back to my planet of origin. However since transiting Pluto and Uranus have formed this square, I have felt more at ease on Earth. The energies affecting the planet right now are my energies. I am finally at home. More than that, I feel as though my time has come… to do what exactly I don’t know… perhaps just to fully embrace what it means to actually be myself, all of me, no holds barred, and to unleash that on the world rather than hide it as I have done for so long. Anyone else of my generation, the Pluto/Uranus conjunction, feel this way?

I am going through a sort of hell at the moment. Pluto and Uranus are not subtle in their effects, although some aspects of how they work are very quiet, silent but deadly… deadly as in they seek to transform, rip off the old skin, to reveal what lies beneath.

Uranus is transiting my 8th house. The House of Scorpio. When I first looked this up, I shuddered a bit, hoped for the best, prepared for the worst, and then forgot about it because nothing happened. Then my father died. The 8th house rules death. I’ve been estranged from my father for many years by my own choice, I found out about his death in a typically Uranian and unusual manner.

Pluto has been plumbing the depths of my 4th house, changing how I view myself from the perspective of family, unearthing childhood hang-ups and beliefs, and challenging me to confront them. It had just crossed over the cusp into my 5th house, stirring up my long abandoned creativity, pushing me to express myself artistically. I resisted for a bit, but you can’t resist Pluto’s energy when he has decided it’s time for you to change, not unless you want to be torn apart painfully, you will be torn apart, but it doesn’t have to be a bad pain, it doesn’t have to be excruciating, it can be experienced as a full body exfoliation rather than a skinning.

I had an idea about incorporating the artistic influences with which I had grown up into some of the photography I was doing. My father was an artist. So I did a Google search looking for inspiration, and found a news article announcing his demise. I was shocked. He had been ill for a long time, but being a Narcissist, he had decided that he was immortal. I saw a great quote on the cover of NME which summed up the Narcissist ethos to me – We don’t have egos, we have superpowers. I had wondered if perhaps, for once, he was right about being immortal. You never know, sometimes one must keep an open mind about such things, life is mysterious. But, anyway… he was dead, it was a surprise, and that was that.

I did not think beyond that, other than to worry a little because I knew his death might cause my mother to resurface in my life, and I had estranged myself from her too out of self preservation. A while passed. Then my mother contacted me through a friend. She had urgent information for me regarding my father’s death and an inheritance. I rolled my eyes, and did nothing. As far as I was concerned I had no intention of being a vulture, swooping in to pick the corpse’s body clean. He had many other people in his life happy to do that sort of thing. Besides, I thought I had an agreement with him to leave me out of his will, because I knew he would leave a mess behind, and enjoy the idea of the chaos which would ensue once he was gone. I ignored my mother’s drama. A while later my father’s live-in lover contacted me, also through a friend, to let me know that although my father had left no will the inheritance was all mine. I groaned, but I was also astounded. I was surprised that my father’s lover would go out of her way to contact me with this information. Then I realised why. She was afraid that if I didn’t claim the inheritance, that my mother would get it. I groaned again. This was exactly what I had feared would happen when my father died. I also imagined him grinning in the after death lounge, smug, very pleased that yet again he had created hell for others with him as the ring leader and master of madness.

The 8th house also represents the resources of others, such as an inheritance, and legal matters. Being that this is all under the auspices of Uranus, none of it is straightforward. There is no wedge of cash, there is a very small amount of money which will cover the legal costs of getting the inheritance that at the moment are eating up my savings. I have Jupiter in the 2nd house of personal finance, and it is not as lucky there as many astrologers seem to think it is, how it works is that sometimes I’m the windshield and sometimes I’m the bug, sometimes I have money and sometimes I don’t, regardless of how hard I work or if I just lie around finding shapes in clouds. There are also a couple of properties which would make excellent settings for a horror movie, dilapidated and neglected. Now I did consider renouncing this inheritance, but Uranus in the 8th also works in another way.

“Uranus Transiting the Eighth House – Our egos’ pointy little ears may stand jauntily above the waves, but the rest of the Self’s iceberg lies low, down in the deep waters of the unconscious mind. When Uranus transits through the Eighth House, those psychic depths are ready to emerge. In fact, there is no stopping them. Suddenly, our greatest fears, our frustrated desires, our unowned hungers—all the unintegrated dimensions of our psyches—begin to press upward. The wild woman and the wild man inside us all gather force. They come crashing out of the primordial wilderness and bash against the garden walls of Ego City. We’re “officially” very happy—but our secret grief leaps out. Maybe there’s a joy we crave—but which our civilized ego has forbidden. That joy starts making choices for us, grabbing the steering wheel. Right on schedule, people who represent or facilitate these drives appear.

We are invited to do some deep Shadow work, to integrate parts of ourselves which have been shamed by our societies or families, making our own moral judgements—and living, for the honest good or the destructive ill of it, with the consequences. For most of us, this transit represents a “coming of age”—even if we are ninety! “ ©Steven Forrest via Forrest Astrology

Something in me would not let me run away from this mess, as I have done in the past when dealing with the world according to my nutcase Narcissistic parents. This time I have to stand my ground – Aries – and fight for my right to exist and be counted – something which my parents tried very hard to take away from me. My deepest fears are asking me to face them and understand that within them lies a treasure that will be worth ten thousand inheritances. The true inheritance is not a material one, but one which lies within, but I can only access that by accepting the material one, fighting for it, and claiming it.

Easier said than done thanks to Uranus. The first problem is Italian inheritance law (my father’s Italian). It is so bloody complex even Italian lawyers don’t know how to deal with it. I speak and understand Italian, but I am not fluent, and even if I was… I still need lawyers to deal with legal mumbo jumbo. The first lawyers I hired, well, I had a hard time distinguishing between whether they were incompetent and inefficient or just being Italian. I eventually realised, after the hundredth time they got my name wrong, said they were doing things and didn’t, put me in a position where I had to quadruple check everything they did when they actually got their asses in gear and did something very sloppily, and pissed off people who have relevant documents and need to be kept sweet, that it was the former. On a day my astrology told me not to make any important decisions, I fired my lawyers. Best decision ever made. But it did leave me in legal limbo. My father’s lover wants me to do everything myself without lawyers, and she keeps pressuring me to do things her way… but transiting Saturn is sitting right on top of my natal Mars in the 3rd house, making my natural impatience suddenly very cautious. I am playing chess, looking ahead, and realising that if I act impatiently now to make this situation move forward and go away, further down the line it will be so much worse and harder to sort out than it is now.

There is an added astrological element. Saturn in Scorpio forming a mutual reception with Pluto. Apparently issues which surfaced the last time Saturn was in Scorpio, during the 80’s, will be revisited. In the 80’s, when I was in my early teens, my father cut me off without a penny. He didn’t tell me or warn me about it, he just did it. I found out when my mother tried to pay my school fees and had no funds to do so. My father, when confronted, pretended he didn’t know anything about it for a while, then admitted he’d decided it was time for me to make my own way in life. My parents were addicted to lying, so the truth is anyone’s guess. Mind you, that situation had more to do with the endless battles between my parents than with me personally, I was just hit by shrapnel as per usual. I did make my own way, as I had no option but to do so… albeit dragging my mother around like a lead weight. It’s interesting to note that, according to my father’s lover, my father wanted me to have everything when he died, to make up for things between us… but mostly because he didn’t want my mother to get her hands on anything, which is why he refused to write a will. So it goes.

Transiting Uranus is opposing my natal Uranus in the 1st and my natal Jupiter in the 2nd (which also represents personal values). So… what I have realised thus far is that I am being challenged to stand my ground. To do things my way. Trust myself and stand by myself through thick and thin. Which is not easy. I doubt myself a lot. When you grow up and spend most of your life thinking you’re a freak and don’t belong on Earth, you doubt your ability to deal with life on Earth, the inhabitants here, and all the customs and cultural quirks of society. You adapt your style to suit the environment even if it goes against every instinct and intuition. You learn to have an ego which can when need be pretend that it does not exist. An egoless ego.

I have spent many years giving in to the will of others, pushing my ego, my needs, my feelings and thoughts to one side. Mainly because most of the others whom I met were not willing to give an inch, they were entrenched in their egos, desirous of having their needs met their way, their feelings and thoughts being all important. They wanted control, especially of other people because sharing control frightened them. I hate being trapped in a stand-off. So I give way, but that does not mean I cede control. Yet that is what people think when you give way, they don’t see you as being reasonable, as moving towards them to meet them on neutral ground, they see you as a pushover. This time I am doing things very differently. No compromise. No pushing my ego aside, time to let my ego enjoy being an ego, with all the perks and stuff that includes. Not sure if this is right, but I’m going to go with it, doubting my doubts rather than doubting myself because of them. So far, this journey through hell feels awesome.

Thank you Uranus in Aries for accepting my crazy freak self and encouraging me to let it out and watch it flourish. I’m going out in a blaze of gory glory!

*Link to my astrological chart (without transits) in case you want to see it.

71 comments

  1. I totally LoVed your story. Your words Jumped out at me and I laughed out loud. I’ve been hit hard with this Uranus Square Pluto Dealio. OMG. I nearly died myself in a horrible auto mobile accident and sadly my close cousin died of head trauma. I have Uranus natal in my 4th. Can that really be fair?! But aside from your fab story I was wondering what your thoughts are on this Aspect for me. It is currently transiting my 7th house which begins with Sag on the cusp. and venus and mercury in it. I dont know how to interrupt this. Capricorn also shares this space which is where the venus is. No WONDER I’m not married and forty one. 😀 whateves. But the uranus is transiting my 10th. For the last year I’ve seriously wanted to Change Careers. I thought with uranus there it would be easier. I’ve been at the same JOB for over 8 years and dread nearly every day now. UGHH
    Any way hope I make some sense, Think your on the ball and have a great sense of humor.
    I think this pluto square will affect just about the whole planet….no wonder most are checking out. RUN for your Life!
    Peace

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    • Hi, thank you very much 😀

      I am not an astrologer, so my interpretations of planets, aspects, etc is based on observing my own chart and seeing how it connects with my life. I occasionally discuss my friends’ charts with them, sometimes I can be spot on, but I can also be way off in my take on things. Perhaps what I say may spark an idea which will help you to interpret your chart and the energies at work in it.

      The main thing to keep in mind is that Uranus and Pluto are tied by the square they are making to each other, so they will work differently from how they would if they were not connected. The square creates a link through which energy flows between them. So anything one is affecting is also being affected by the other one. They are working together. If you are not feeling the effects of one of them, such as Uranus in the 10th, it may be because the energy is stuck in the other one, Pluto in the 7th, waiting to be released.

      Also when looking at transits like this one you need to take into account all the other aspects which may be tied to one or the other or both. If transiting Uranus is opposing your natal Uranus, that will be relevant to the flow of energy and how it affects you and how you experience the Uranus/Pluto square. You may find the issues connected with the natal position being stirred up. With Uranus in the 4th this touches upon roots, family, home, and the beliefs which have been inherited from family. These issues may need to be dealt with for the power of the transit to be fully activated.

      The first thing which stands out is your brush with death and the death of your cousin. My condolences. The accident which you describe has elements of both Uranus and Pluto. So this event could be viewed as being the point at which the two meet. A crisis point. Many people who come face to face with death are forever transformed by the experience. It’s the kind of situation which makes you reassess yourself and your life and choose to radically change things, but first you have to deal with all the emotions which such an event evokes. This is Pluto’s domain, it is not easy, Pluto’s transits are never easy, they are very powerful.

      Pluto in the 7th house means you will experience the effects of Pluto through close relationships. If Pluto is aspecting your natal Venus, then this intensifies the power that close relationships will have in your life. Your close relationships will have a deeply impacting effect on you, and will be a source of transformation. Now all close relationships tend to do that on some level, but with Pluto influencing your relationships at this time, you will feel as though you are living the story of Pluto and Persephone. A relationship will snatch you up, and drag you down into the underworld. You will find yourself facing the hidden aspects of yourself, the underworld within you, and this will transform who you are and how you experience yourself, which will in turn transform how you experience others in relationships. With Pluto there is always a death, sometimes real, sometimes metaphorical, sometimes both, which leads to transformation which then leads to rebirth. You will emerge from this as a phoenix from the ashes.

      Since Pluto and Uranus are working together, for the effects of Uranus to be felt, you first have to allow Pluto to transform you. As Pluto is in Capricorn, what needs to be transformed is foundations, structures, such as the foundations and structure of your identity, how you relate to yourself and others, and your life. As Uranus is in Aries, which represents new beginnings, for the new beginnings to occur, they need new foundations to support them.

      So for a new career to come to you, you have to become a new you. Because Pluto is in Capricorn, this new you may be a more authentic you, the you who you perhaps have always been but never felt able to embrace and express due to circumstances and social pressure. Your brush with death may make you bolder, less willing to compromise on who you are to conform and please others. Perhaps the new job will come to you through a transformative relationship. This relationship may cause you to discover talents and passions which have been dormant.

      There are many variations I can see to it, and looking at the rest of your chart will give more information. What else is being affected by the square? Where is transiting Saturn, which is in mutual reception with transiting Pluto, the issues of the house Saturn is traveling through may be an intricate part of Pluto’s transit. I’m guessing transiting Saturn may be in your 5th house. I usually relate this house to creativity, but it also represents romance and children. This will tie in with Pluto, perhaps in a subtle way. Perhaps a creative desire you have had for a while will now be made a reality. Saturn brings practicality wherever it is, this can feel quite grim at times, but that is just the heaviness of a dream being brought down to earth.

      Sorry this is so long… one last detail. You’re in your 40’s like me, so you’re in mid-life crisis transit territory. There’s a good overview of what they mean on Kelly Surtees Astrology blog on WordPress.

      I hope this helps.
      ❤ Ursula

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      • THANK YOU URSULA

        I had to read your response several times. Your words spoke volumes and your reach far. You are a perfect stranger yet I feel you know me. I have been in therapy now for almost two years. It has been a long and hard process. YES YES everything has changed. Especially me. (sigh) All my ideas connected to my family and relationships have done a total 180. Some for the better some for the worse. I now am in a healthy beautiful relationship. Not expecting that at all. Not in all the darkness I was in. REALLY GOD? LOL Not feeling ‘like” it not feeling my best nor even looking for that matter. I was disgusted with just about the whole “LIFE” thing. The stuck energy in the 10th was so right!! Makes so much sense. Examining Everything. You have touched me and I want to thank you again from the bottom of my heart. P.S. The next PLUTO/URANUS something is November. It worries me, some. IT is at nine degrees. MY VENUS,JUNO, CHIRON and get this NORTH NODE ? are all exactly nine degrees. All sitting in my 4,7 and 10th house. My Lovely Pluto is 1 degree Libra. I Just looked closer and realized that I have a YOD it is Pluto 4 house,@ 1degree- Chiron 8house @ 9 degree and Saturn 12 house @ 2 degree. OMG. NO wonder I am in a world of crazy.

        Peace and Blessings

        On Fri, Jun 21, 2013 at 4:29 PM, An Upturned Soul wrote:

        > ** > anupturnedsoul commented: “Hi, thank you very much 😀 I am not an > astrologer, so my interpretations of planets, aspects, etc is based on > observing my own chart and seeing how it connects with my life. I > occasionally discuss my friends’ charts with them, sometimes I can be spot > on,”

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        • Hi Jenn, Thank you 😀

          Glad I could be of help.

          November is when the square between Uranus & Pluto is exact again. This happened in late May too. It may move things forward in the area influenced by the planet which is moving forward, and give you the opportunity to revisit and review the things which have been going on in the area influenced by the one which is moving retrograde. The thing to keep in mind is that ultimately this square is freeing us from old ways of being and giving us a push into new ways of being, but to do that it has to push us out of our comfort zones and make us uncomfortable.

          In the meantime Jupiter, in August, is going to oppose Pluto and square Uranus. From what I’ve understood so far about this, Jupiter may be a beneficial influence balancing out the dynamic of the Uranus/Pluto square because of the Grand Water trine which Jupiter will form with Neptune and Saturn. Emotions (water) will soothe things in some way. I need to study this a bit more, which basically means I have to see how it affects me directly then learn from that 😉

          Best wishes and many blessings to you in your journey through this crazy universal energy, remember, you’ve made it this far and are now stronger than ever before, keep going…

          ❤ Ursula

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  2. HI, thank you both for your open discussion. It seems that I am of the same generation as you and also have the pluto/uranus conjunction in the first house which is natally opposite chiron ( and also by transit as I am experiencing the chiron conjunction/return) in the 7th.
    Quite intense, and sounds as though you are going through something similar – wonderful that you have the time and energy to post here and it’s great to read your story.
    I am experiencing a beautiful creative evolution through these deep transits and from my research on the net have come to understand that these outerplanet transits offer us opportunities for longlasting transformation if we choose to work with them and embrace them rather than move mountains to try and preserve the status quo.
    It’s not easy going however! and doesn’t fit well with the day to day structures that western society weave around us, regarding work, maintaining a ‘successful’ lifestyle, keeping up with the joneses type of thing. IT becomes more important ( especially for pluto/urananian types) to define ourselves on our own terms.
    I wish you both well on your journey , and am really happy to learn again that we are not seperate, there are many of us living parrellel experiences. Perhaps we pass each other daily on the street, in the parks, on mountain trails, in supermarkets , at the beach, hangliding! airports and hospitals,
    Blessings, go well.
    Karen

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    • Hi Karen, Thank you very much 😀

      I am really happy that you shared your experience. I agree we are all connected and when we share our stories we share our unique energy which blends with the unique energies of others when they connect with our experiences. This can sometimes act like a jolt of support, a boost of energy, a loud cry of ‘YES! You’re on the right path, keep going, trust yourself!’, which is especially needed when someone is going through a transformation like the one which Uranus and Pluto inspire in us and demand from us.

      When we are under the influence of Uranus and Pluto we can feel very alone, because, like you said, we are called upon to define ourselves on our own terms, often breaking away from our tribe and its terms and conditions of belonging.

      Humans have a need for connection, belonging, blending with others, as well as a need for individuation, affirming the ‘I’, and this dynamic can create friction when we are changing because although we may want the change, we know that the inner change will radiate outward and change the world around us, and our social tribe might not like us anymore, we might not like them anymore, so we feel cast out into the unknown. This leads to self doubt, as does the fact that during an inner transformation we don’t really know who we are anymore, which can be confusing and frightening, yet exciting too.

      So knowing there are others who are on a similar journey, knowing that by leaving one tribe behind it is possible to find another, one which supports our unique self, who accepts and encourages us to change, transform and become the wild, wonderful force of nature we are.

      Is transiting Pluto in your 5th? I’m asking because you said you’re experiencing a beautiful creative evolution and that’s the energy I felt when Pluto crossed into my 5th. Pluto keeps passing over the cusp of my 4th & 5th and the energies are very different. In the 4th it feels like a root canal of the foundations of myself, such as ideas of family and home, but in the 5th it feels like discovering creativity and creative energy I didn’t know I had.

      Best wishes and blessings to you in your evolutionary leap 😉

      ❤ Ursula

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      • Hi, thanks for your reply. Yes Pluto is in the last 5minites of my 5th house atm – and quincunx my Asc . Also Uranus trine Asc from the 8th – so it seems that even though those two are screeds apart house wise now, that original conjunction that threw the energy in the blender in Virgo natally are still intertwined – and of course both natally opposite the Chiron return now.
        ……Sheesh I hadn’t considered that I might be leaving one tribe behind and might find another….hmmm…. something to think about…. it’s one Chironic jolt after another at the moment – and plenty of time to go so I’ll see how it plays out – main thing seems to be to give the energy an artistic focus so it has somewhere to ground.
        I’m presently travelling, in a country where the language is new – thats a great focus for all this ‘mysterious unknown energy’ to ground …. just looking at my transit chart now I see Chiron is also transiting my True node ( Gemini ) with a trine – it all looks amazing graphically – there was one day last week where I very very nearly had both a grand cross of transits ( including the Chiron return) and a grand trine ( including Uranus and the Asc) – it makes me laugh out loud its so cosmic, serious and silly all at the same time 🙂 Blessings Karen

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        • Hi Karen, Thank you 😀

          Ah, the traveling in new territory metaphor is perfect for seeing the effects of these transits, and definitely a great channel for the energies. A new place to explore, a new culture to absorb, a new language to learn. Hmmm… Equating what is happening in your life, in the present moment, to the energies occurring in your chart shows you how those energies are moving through you out into the world around you and also what is being returned to you from the world and being absorbed into you. It flows in a circle which is also a spiral.

          Your Chiron return is intrinsically linked to Neptune’s transit of Pisces at the moment, so yes, artistic expression and pursuits are a key element of healing. AND Jupiter has just moved into Cancer, it will form a Grand Water trine with Neptune and Saturn (and Chiron) this Summer which will last a while and bring some very inspiring energy into the mix.

          You are living your chart, embodying those energies… WOW! I can see it with myself, but seeing it in another is a great honour, thank you for sharing. Chiron in the 7th ultimately, I think, shows how self and other are connected on so many levels, and how the life of another can inspire your life, which can inspire the life of another and so on. The healing energy flows back and forth, in and out, and all around.

          Thank you, and may the healing energy within you guide you to wonderful places and on beautiful adventures of discovery of self, others, and the world.

          ❤ Ursula

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  3. Hi there, just reading this blog post now, thanks for sharing your life story. I’ve got Uranus at the beginning of my 8th (sitting in my natal 2nd), almost on top of my natal Chiron there. Pluto is approaching the north node in my 4th (natal 1st). Thinking we’re both Virgo rising from your house positions.

    But what really strikes me and why I’m commenting is that while we’ve had wildly different life experiences/childhoods, I grew up with the same feeling of being an alien… and my first instinct is to question myself (am I wrong? am I the freak?) instead of others. I’ve been working on that for some time now and can just about override it, but it doesn’t come naturally.

    So, good on you for your determination to do it your way with the legal proceedings. I like the phrase you use about “doubting the doubts”. I’ll take that with me on my journey, which currently involves a separation from my husband, and thoughts of moving back home to the States after living in London for over a decade.

    Good luck with it all!

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    • Hi Roxy, Thank you 🙂

      Yes, I’m Virgo rising. I like to think of Virgo rising as a sphinx 😉 My chart if you want to see it is posted under the category – My Astrological Chart.

      With Pluto in the 1st one thing is always certain, no matter what life throws at you, you will survive it even when you think you won’t. Pluto’s energy is in many ways similar to the myth of the phoenix, and with Pluto in the 1st you embody the energy of the planet there as part of your identity. So whatever the transits of Pluto and Uranus have in store for you, and from what you say you are about to go through a life changing experience on many levels, you will come out of it stronger, the parts of you which no longer support you will be burned off in the fires of the experience. I find it always feels like becoming more of myself, more authentic, each time it happens. It can feel devastating, but eventually it is exhilarating and liberating.

      Pluto in the 1st does feel very much like a freak of nature. It tends to give greater depth of self awareness to the individual with that placement. Virgo rising feels a bit awkward too, also due to heightened self awareness. The trick is to embrace that feeling of being a freak. I think that feeling is connected to the raw power which Pluto in the 1st bestows.

      I’ve found it very challenging to embrace it, and still find it so, but each effort I make gives me new information.

      The raw power is untapped power due to the impression that it is wrong to be a freak, but once harnessed… who knows. I’m not quite there yet.

      Pluto in the 1st does give great power, but that power needs great responsibility to handle it, which is why it is a difficult position to deal with. The difficulty it poses is the training needed to handle it. A gift within what sometimes feels like a curse.

      Best wishes to you on your path ahead, it sounds like you are facing a great challenge, remember that you have the power to face it even when you doubt that you do. Life never gives us a challenge without also giving us the ability to overcome it, the reason for the challenge is to show us that we have that ability.

      ❤ Ursula

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  4. I am an Aries with Pluto in the 1st and Virgo Asc. So yeah, to some extent I know where you are coming from.
    Uranus is transiting my 8th, Jupiter my 10th. Saturn moving through the signs makes me take on some of the qualities of the sign it is currently in, and I feel very “Scorpionic”/ Plutonic right now.
    To me, the world seems rather stupid, and after many years of ups and downs, I have rejected both of my parents, because, like the majority, they seem to hinder rather than help.
    After a love affair which left me with too much emotional deficit, and people who have worked behind the scenes for years to discredit and backstab me, I talk to hardly anyone and trust no-one. It works better that way. I was not born that way, but society has made me thus.

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    • Hi. Is transiting Uranus conjunct your Sun, and is transiting Pluto squaring it? If yes, then the Uranus/Pluto square is urging you to transform yourself (Sun) from the inside out (Pluto & 8th house – house of Scorpio), as this will transform your life, in a radical and in depth way.

      Pluto in the 1st is a very intense position. It tends to attract to those with this placement experiences which are transformative, but also repressive. Like a pressure cooker. Pluto in the 1st’s need to forge our own path tends to mean that we butt heads with authority figures, which includes society, in a me versus the world way. This feeling of the self versus everyone else pushes us further and further into ourselves. This is its purpose. The myth of Hades and Persephone describes the process really well, as a cyclical descent into the underworld of self, a period of seclusion from the world follows, then the urge to rise up and return to the surface causes a re-emerging from the inner darkness into the outer light. Each descent and rise triggers a transformation of self. Another restrictive skin of an old self removed, leaving a very raw new self to be, discover and express. Each self seclusion from the world allows for a deeper relationships with the self.

      So, your lack of trust of others should lead to a greater trust of yourself. With the Sun in Aries, the need to trust, listen to and be true to yourself, fight for your freedom to be who you are, is very strong. If transiting Uranus has conjuncted your Sun then events in your life will probably be urging you to forge your own path in a radical way, and, like you said, your relationship to others may hamper this or hold you back, so the severing of all ties to others is the the brutal push to leap forward. With Uranus transiting the 8th the need to break free from restrictions which others have placed on you and which you may have accepted can be experienced very suddenly and urgently. If transiting Pluto is in the 4th this works well with severing ties to home, family and the childhood self who did as it was told, consciously and subconsciously. If Pluto is transiting the 5th, then the severing of ties with the past leads to a new way of expressing yourself and creating a new life for yourself, one which satisfies your heart, one which is made by the self and not by the influences of the past and of others, especially others from the past.

      At least that is how I am experiencing it, do you think this sounds right for you too?

      Like

      • I’m not GF…of course you already know that! lol But I’m a Aries Sun, Virgo Rising and what you’ve said…bing! Hammer makes contact squarely on head of nail!

        OMG, your post is dated May 19!! That’s my deceased father’s birthday. I had done a post about learning about the death of an astrologer I had dealt with in the past. Two references to my father in a bit over a week maybe even one week. And just this morning a dream that I’m sure was referring to him and a traumatic past event.

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        • Transitwise Venus squared Pluto over the weekend, and Sun and Mercury are conjunct in Virgo (Are they transiting your 12th?) opposing Neptune. So the realm of communication may be of a Neptunian kind, with strange messages trying to get through to us and vivid dreams. The veil between what is real and what is unreal (yet maybe still real) becomes weaker and the line between fantasy and reality blurs. Conscious and subconscious have easier access to each other. Which is excellent for tapping into the imagination and being inspired by something unusual.

          With Uranus transiting your 8th it ties in even more with the square with Pluto as the 8th is the house of Scorpio, so the theme of death will have much deeper meaning to you at this time and will work on many levels for you, especially with Pluto in the 4th, the death of someone close may change your entire perspective on yourself and your life. With Uranus in the 8th, delving into your inner workings, what you have hidden within, the things you may have considered taboo, and radically reviewing them is key. With Saturn in Scorpio, especially transiting the 3rd, restrictions concerning communication, must be considered and understood.

          Or at least that is my view on it. I have found myself repeatedly faced with my own boundaries, many of which were created in childhood (4th house).

          There is a need to move through our own darkness and see what that darkness holds, and why it is holding it, and perhaps release it, or at least release the hold it has over us. This is in preparation for Pluto moving into the 5th and Uranus eventually moving into the 9th.

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          • Yes they transiting my 12th Neptune is still in my 6th.

            Pluto has been in my 4th for quite awhile and is about to leave for good. There have been many deaths of people close to me and those not so close ie my father during Pluto’s sojourn in my 4th and yes they have changed my perspective. Thank you so much for your insights . I was thinking kinda along those lines.

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  5. Hi, thanks for your Plutonian honesty which gives the depth to release with Uranus combined.
    It’s difficult for a stranger in a strange land, exotic frighting and funny, with high sensibilities it can also be harsh, Me too Uranus\Pluto stradlling the asc 7 virgo opposite saturn.!
    I have found that what you have noted through the square of P/U energy releasing in a positive way really interesting,
    The Malefic relationships built between the outer planets and inner by early astrologers has changed, we have expanded and carry on through the energy school of Uranus, since its discovery its octaves have enlightened science, revolution, electric charged devices, humanitarian, eco driven philosophies that gather ideas beyond the personal ken, to be and discover new adventurous ways of living to venture where no man/women has been before take great bravery inspired by Uranus. In this frame I see our relationship changing with the outer planets, unless they hit an angle or personal planets we may only view the energy through world events outside of ourselves.
    Our personal relationship in the outer courts plays A far more dramatic role, but as we integrate the wake up calls we see its true service.
    I feel the path of Uranus lighting and electrifying the 8th this feels like treading a path in a dark tomb which can only be illuminated by our inner light, this service goes on beyond personal drama it is a pilgrimage of the soul.

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    • Hi, Thank you!

      I love your description of the path in a dark tomb lit by the inner light, it’s very evocative. Your words inspire a thought journey for me. It just struck me that Uranus in the 8th is in the house of Pluto. For some reason I don’t associate Pluto with Scorpio and the 8th, and I have to keep reminding myself that they are connected.

      I think those who have the outer planetary energy strongly and personally placed in their charts perhaps have a greater understanding of how linked the outer and inner worlds are, and this is more so for those who have Uranus and Pluto conjunct because the energy of those two are intertwined. I sometimes find it difficult to know which is which, they have similarities and seek to transform the individual, and by transforming us on a personal level, it transforms the world around us, sometimes in big ways, but usually in small ways which add up over time.

      Pluto and Uranus move slowly, at least by human standards of time, the energy builds very gradually and is focused when it hits a natal position, then what was impersonal becomes personal. It can feel sudden, but it was happening over the course of many years.

      The energy of a planet is neutral, or more a blend of opposites forming a whole, what makes it positive or negative for us is partly due to our perception, humans are prone to splitting things into either/or, good or bad rather than good and bad, and it is partly due to how that energy flows through us and combines with other energies, like a chemical reaction, a formula.

      In some ways Pluto and Uranus can only be understood at a level deeper than conscious thought, such as the soul like you said.

      You have wonderful insight, thank you for sharing!

      Like

  6. Brilliant essay/personal commentary. I am but a humble student of astrology, so the more technical stuff I had to consider in the abstract. However, the broader themes of narcissistic parents, neglect, a lack of defined self-power and self-identification (very important for an aries – I am an Aries with 8th House Sun and Mercury). The sheer power of Uranus in its ‘waves’ and the inescapable pull of Pluto’s power have allowed me or more like downright forced me to plumb the depths of my psyche and accept some ‘home truths’ – (the emphasis being on home) about my own Mother in particular, that until very recently were just plain taboo. An at times, exhausting process of emotional mining and clearing mixed in with a liberal dash of death and adventures the like of which my mental straight jacket had never allowed before, was only surpassed by the notification that I had cancer towards the final quarter of 2013. Bloody, gory, messy, enlightening and ultimately hugely liberating to be yourself and to throw off the shackles of other people’s stuff and to own your own. I got through the cancer. I commend you for your bravery, courage and eloquence in sharing your experiences.

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    • Thank you very much 😀

      I’m glad to hear that you have got through the cancer, that is a deeply life-changing experience. It’s strange how we sometimes only feel truly at one with our own life when we come face to face with death and realise that our life belongs to us. It’s as though each year that we live we give tiny parts of our life to others and we need to experience something shocking to activate our core which magnetises those scattered parts back to us and we feel whole in a way that perhaps we only felt when we were a baby before people began demanding parts of us as their own.

      Pluto and Uranus tend to bring radical transformation through trauma, challenging life as we know it and pushing us beyond our own limits and the limits others have imposed on us. Liberation from old patterns and ways of being and experiencing life is the reward for keeping going when the chaos hits. It can feel as though everything is being stripped away until there is nothing left but rawness, and the rawness feels in some ways as though it is a primal force of life.

      So, I’m guessing that Uranus has been transiting your 8th house and Pluto your 4th house (thus the home truths). Were they in aspect to your natal Uranus and/or Pluto during this time?

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      • Hi, I went searching for more info on transiting Uranus in the 8th house and stumbled across your blog. I am blown away. You could be me. It’s staggering. So staggering in fact I have difficulty putting it all into words. I’ve been studying astrology since I was 17 (I’m now 47) and relate totally to your comment “” Sometimes I think astrology is bullshit. Sometimes it is. And sometimes it is so incredibly spot on that I stare at it open-mouthed wondering how on earth it knows what it knows. “” Actually I relate to nearly everything you have said, which is just so bizarre.

        I”ve also got Pluto conjunct Uranus in the first house (Leo rising though), along with Mars and that wonderful duo is opposed by a Moon/Chiron/Saturn conjunction in the 7th. Sun sign is Scorpio. I’ve also had to ‘disown’ my parents to save myself. My mother is the Narc though, my father, a co-dependent enabler. I’m also a member of Adult Children of Narc Parents.

        Am off now to explore more of your website………. 🙂 ……… and ponder the meaning of all this …..

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        • Hi 🙂 Thank you!

          re: the blogging/comment thing – the way I have my settings on Wp means that new comments wait in blog-comment limbo until I approve them (since you’re new to Wp blogging, this is actually a good thing and plus side of Wp, just in case you get spam which escapes the spam filter and trolls). Once you’re approved, then your comments appear immediately. Sorry for the delay, I was away from my blog for a few days 🙂

          We’re about the same age. That Pluto/Uranus 1st house versus Chiron in the 7th… ugh! Sort of worth it once you work through it, and work through all the aspects to it too, but a loaded pain in the patootie too. Pluto/Uranus in the 1st tends to attract strong characters who think they can define their identity by squashing you somehow. Chiron in the 7th means we try to work with people, sometimes to our own detriment by subjugating our string 1st house energies… but we’re not really that convinced by our own arguments against ourselves, so eventually we rebel – which pisses those who think they’ve ‘tamed’ us off. And so it goes.

          Thanks to my blog I’ve been connecting with others who have similar charts, and the correlations are astounding. There seems to be a link between Chiron in the 7th and NPD parents/relationships. Which is uncanny.

          Two fellow bloggers and friends who have similar placements are:

          http://pluranianrambullngs.com/
          http://emergingfromthedarknight.wordpress.com/

          I have Scorpio as a dominant sign – and I tend to get along with Scorpios, something to do with the willingness to view things unflinchingly. How is t-Saturn in Scorpio affecting you? It’s quite a heavy and life-changing transit at the moment. It’s doing my natal Mars and Neptune in a bit. Sometimes it seems great, at other times I can feel myself chomping at the bit. I’m a Mars in Scorpio (squares my Mercury) so I’m a bit rash and intense in the membrane.

          It’s kind of interesting to note that the rise in awareness of NPD and ACoNs is kind of in sync with Pluto in Cap and the Pluto/Uranus square. Very transformative and liberating stuff… just not sure where it’s leading to.

          Thank you for sharing and welcome to my home on the ‘net! 🙂

          Like

          • Hi, it is wonderful to have found your ‘home’. I’ve been thinking for quite some time now that for my own sanity I need to somehow how find some like minded souls. People who don’t think I’m ‘nuts’ and people who are not afraid of my depth and intensity. Being new to this blogging medium, I hope it is ok to copy your questions and answer them one at a time ?

            “”Pluto/Uranus in the 1st tends to attract strong characters who think they can define their identity by squashing you somehow. “”
            To be honest I don’t think I’ve ever really attracted strong people to me, for most of my life I’ve attracted much weaker people who were in some way damaged…. I’m talking about men here …. (and I would try to fix them, I reckon this about my Moon/Chiron/Saturn conjunction in Pisces in the 7th) . These people would however eventually try to squash me in terms of not allowing me to be me. For most of my life (until recently 2011) these weaker people were initially attracted to my strength, but after a time, were then repelled by it, well that’s how it seems to me. (And I’m so aware saying that makes me sound so arrogant… and I’m terrified of coming across as a Narc myself)…. do you ever feel like that?

            “”Chiron in the 7th means we try to work with people, sometimes to our own detriment by subjugating our string 1st house energies…””
            Yes, not allowing us to be ourselves.

            “”There seems to be a link between Chiron in the 7th and NPD parents/relationships. Which is uncanny.””
            A former astrologer friend of mine said to me once that Moon/Chiron in the 7th can indicate at some point a sacrifice must be made with regard to the parent concerned. At the time I thought that was a tad pessimistic but realised eventually it was accurate. I had to choose, between saving myself and my mental health/sanity, and continuing to try to have a relationship with my mother. I chose me! And cut her out of my life.

            Years ago I was on a MSN Astrology group and found there was also a link to having Natal Moon opposite Natal Uranus adding up to major issues with your mother. My brother, who is a scientist and who thinks astrology is a load of shit, was born 3 years after me. Funnily enough he also has Moon conjunct Chiron opposed by Uranus!!! LOL

            “”How is t-Saturn in Scorpio affecting you? It’s quite a heavy and life-changing transit at the moment.””
            For me, I don’t really feel anything has happened at all. For me it’s like it’s not even there, but then even when Saturn conjuncted my Ascendant, nothing happened, nothing at all. I read all my transit books, expected ‘something’ to happen… but nope, nudda, nothing at all. I came to the conclusion that I must be ok with the Saturn type energies and ‘it’ had nothing to teach me at that time. That can not be said for transits of Pluto or Uranus though… especially to my chart angles. I came to the conclusion (rightly or wrongly) that I am far more attuned to those energies compared to Saturn’s ones.

            “”It’s kind of interesting to note that the rise in awareness of NPD and ACoNs is kind of in sync with Pluto in Cap and the Pluto/Uranus square. Very transformative and liberating stuff… just not sure where it’s leading to.””
            To be honest I don’t take much notice of the global effects of outer planets in certain signs etc. Why do you think it is in sync with Pluto in Cap?

            Dee 🙂

            Like

            • You are lovely 🙂

              Pretty much anything goes on my blog where comments are concerned as long as people are considerate, which you definitely are, so no worries. Express yourself in whatever way is comfortable for you.

              I have really enjoyed meeting other people who have Pluto/Uranus in the 1st, for similar reasons to what you say about the depth and intensity giving most people the impression that we’re nuts. I usually have to tone myself down and hide the ‘crazy’ or people run away from me screaming 😉 That kind of energy in a personal house is a lot for us to handle, so it makes sense that others find it a bit too much, especially when it’s turned up full volume. Pluto tends to drag people into the underworld and Uranus tends to electrify them, so the two together have quite a strange impact.

              I was reading this – http://www.ericfrancis.com/planetwaves/sixties.html – the other day, it’s an interesting overview of Pluto/Uranus opp. Chiron, and the generation who have it, and the possible ways it can manifest in our lives.

              What you were saying about the people whom you attract – it’s definitely part of Chiron in the 7th, and the Pisces influence adds the victim/martyr/saviour dynamic to it. I tend to consider the ‘weak’ souls who look for a saviour, who are seeking the strength of others to support them as being strong characters too and not weak at all – they only appear weak because that is the role they are playing but that weakness gives them the upper hand. Their damage, their wound is very strong. Their weakness becomes a dominant element in the interaction, they need you to help them, save them, fix them, etc, but they don’t actually want to be helped, saved, or fixed, they hold firmly onto their damage/wound and embody it because it is their greatest power over others. They are damsels (male or female) in permanent distress and through it they get other people to feed them endless supplies of energy and attention. They control you and squash you with their wound, by censoring you – don’t do this, don’t say that, don’t be yourself because everything about you hurts me and my hurt is all that matters. They are hyper-sensitive (sensitive of themselves not others, they tend to be completely insensitive towards others) and very controlling with it. And there is nothing they hate more than having their wound/damage taken away from them – hence at first they are attracted to your strength and later they resent you for it, because at some point after you’ve given them your support you’re going to expect them to heal and learn to walk without your help. They have no intention of doing that. Their weakness is their strength and your strength is your weakness – at least in this kind of a dynamic it is. This dynamic occurs a lot with covert narcissists.

              I think for those of us with Chiron in the 7th, especially in Pisces, learning about the many faces of victimhood is helpful for working with the challenges of that placement.

              These are a couple of interesting takes on that:

              The Drama Triangle: The Three Roles of Victimhood – http://www.angriesout.com/grown20.htm
              Two Types of Narcissists – http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells/201111/two-types-narcissists-pose-somewhat-different-challenges

              The second of the two speaks of the ‘fixing’ scenario in a relationship.

              I used to fall into that trap all the time, because it was what I was trained to do by my NPD mother. It took a lot of self-fixing to get myself to stop doing it. It’s very tempting to focus on someone else and their problems because it distracts you from yours and the ego quite likes to think it’s sorted enough to help others. The point is we can’t ‘fix’ other people, we can only fix ourselves – thus other people can only fix themselves. We can lend a helping hand, offer a bit of support, show them that they have the ability to solve their own problems, but it’s not our job to fix them and solve their problems, that’s their job. If they really want to heal, they can do it and they will do it because they want to. If they don’t really want to heal, then they won’t because they don’t want to, they just want other people to try… and they enjoy proving to others how no one can help them because they have the worst wound ever (narcissists in particular are very proud of their superior wounds which are impossible for mere mortals to heal).

              re: “For most of my life (until recently 2011) these weaker people were initially attracted to my strength, but after a time, were then repelled by it, well that’s how it seems to me. (And I’m so aware saying that makes me sound so arrogant… and I’m terrified of coming across as a Narc myself)…. do you ever feel like that?”

              What you said is not arrogant or narc-like, it’s an expression of self-knowledge and experience.

              If you want to allay fears of coming across like a Narc – which children of narcs often have to the point of suppressing their self-confidence and self-assertion until they’re afraid of making any statements at all about themselves which might upset or offend someone (which happens all the time when you grow up with a narc as your very existence offends those with NPD) – then study the differences between healthy and natural narcissism which all humans have, and unhealthy NPD kind of narcissism.

              Besides, your Mars in the 1st needs to be proud of itself, and show off a bit, as does a Leo rising. And Pluto/Uranus in the 1st also likes to define itself 🙂 So go for it, more assertive statements! It’s healthy! You have so much humility and consideration in your self-expression, I would say that it would be nigh on impossible for you to come across like a narc.

              It’s interesting what you said about Saturn, both natally and by transit, I wonder if part of the subtle effect of Saturn for you has to do with the fact that it’s in the 7th and thus more likely to be felt in relationships and in others – others embodying the energy rather than it being felt as part of the self.

              http://beyondthestarsastrology.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/the-7th-house-the-shadow-self/

              The 7th house is one of the first which moves away from the personal realm and into the interpersonal side of the chart, and planets therein can be quite tricky to connect with within ourselves and often come through others.

              The Pluto in Cap/NPD awareness sync view has to do with Capricorn representing structures and Pluto is there in dismantling old structures. Unhealthy Narcissism has woven itself into the structure of society and family. We’ve been actively encouraged since at least the 80’s to be more narcissistic, in society, in business, in family, in our relationships, in how we treat the planet, etc. Pluto is showing us where our structures of life are unhealthy, it’s exposing them, making us review the way things have been and reconsider. Once the old structures are dismantled, new foundations need to be laid so that rebuilding can be done. The heightened awareness now of NPD and the epidemic narcissism is making us more aware of healthy and unhealthy ways of relating, to ourselves, to others, to our planet, to life in all its forms, and in many other ways. I have Uranus/Jupiter trine Mercury in Aqua – my mind loves to see the big picture and the smaller picture – the macrocosm and microcosm.

              That natal trio also tend to make me blab too much about too many things in a reply on my blog 😉

              Like

              • Thank you for your kind words.

                “I have really enjoyed meeting other people who have Pluto/Uranus in the 1st, for similar reasons to what you say about the depth and intensity giving most people the impression that we’re nuts. I usually have to tone myself down and hide the ‘crazy’ or people run away from me screaming 😉 ”

                Yes I totally relate to that with regard to hiding my depth. I’ve also found that having a Leo Asc gives people a very incorrect image or idea of who I am. I’ve always loved explaining the Asc to people who know nothing about astrology, as ‘the front door’ to the person. When you walk up to a house, the first thing you see is the front door…. And you have to go through that door to get to the inside of the home. Now, that front door could be in keeping with the interior of the house, but it may not be. For years the front door to my own physical house was a yukky fake wooden panel door, but inside the house I had already started renovations and inside the house was lovely. But my front door did not hint at any of this. Because of the appearance of my original front door strangers coming to my house might have assumed that the inside of my house was also ‘shabby’. But they wouldn’t know that until I actually let them inside. Some people have ‘front doors’ that accurately depict what is inside the house, others don’t.
                I’m one of those people who’s ‘front door’ does not accurately depict what’s actually inside the house. And yep, when people come in and get comfortable and spend a little time relaxing, they then discover that I am not remotely the person they thought I was and then they often run away screaming LOL .

                “That kind of energy in a personal house is a lot for us to handle, ……..”
                To be honest I don’t know if I find it hard to handle personally, it just is… to me it’s just normal ….. ??

                “I was reading this – http://www.ericfrancis.com/planetwaves/sixties.html – the other day, it’s an interesting overview of Pluto/Uranus opp. Chiron, and the generation who have it, and the possible ways it can manifest in our lives.”

                Eric Francis is brilliant. I discovered him in 2003 and was blown away by some stuff he wrote, it was just so accurate. I wrote to him when I read this article he wrote because I also have Neptune conjunct Mercury in Scorpio (3rd house and squaring Leo Asc) in sextile to the ‘huge’ opposition. (he wrote back too which was lovely)

                “”And it’s now a good time for this comment. An aspect structure involving Saturn, Chiron, Uranus, Pluto and Neptune can be summed up in one word: INTENSE. It is, reasonably, about as much as a person can bear. Most charts will emphasize the point — there are, after all, quite a few fast-movers (Mercury, Mars, Venus, the Moon, the Sun, the Ascendant, the Midheaven, etc.) that can come along and pick up and broadcast all this highly cosmic energy right into the “normal” personality level of, say, for example, Venus: “Honey, let’s have dinner.” But dinner may involve sitting down with space aliens, discussing the Dead Sea Scrolls, or experiencing an intensity of mind and spirit that would, frankly, leave our parents gasping for breath and clutching at the door handles of the nearest church or stock brokerage.
                So, Pisces Chiron cousins, if you’re concerned that the previous generation doesn’t really understand you, or is just faking it when they say they do, you’re probably correct”” (Eric Francis)

                But for me, it’s not only the previous generation that doesn’t understand me, it’s most of my own generation too.

                “I tend to consider the ‘weak’ souls who look for a saviour, who are seeking the strength of others to support them as being strong characters too and not weak at all – they only appear weak because that is the role they are playing but that weakness gives them the upper hand. ”

                That is a fascinating way to look at it and something I had never considered before. I understand what you are saying about some people not wanting to heal, not wanting to let go of their wound etc because it forms part of their identity. In 2000 I went to University to train to be a social worker (long story). Through my relationship with a disadvantaged boy I was a ‘big buddy’ for, and what I was learning at Uni, I came to this horrifying (well horrifying to me) realization that this poor little boy’s mother didn’t actually want help. She made all the right noises, got all the attention, but when push came to shove wasn’t actually prepared to let go of her stuff. I then realized that I had entirely the wrong type of personality to be a social worker, because I thought if people asked for help they genuinely wanted help and, would also help themselves. Unfortunately I was wrong.

                Will send this now because I’m not sure how long it will end up being on your page. Will also respond to your other comments re drama triangle etc in another post if that’s ok. ?
                Dee 🙂

                Like

                • Part two:
                  “”I think for those of us with Chiron in the 7th, especially in Pisces, learning about the many faces of victimhood is helpful for working with the challenges of that placement.
                  The Drama Triangle: The Three Roles of Victimhood – http://www.angriesout.com/grown20.htm
                  Two Types of Narcissists – http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells/201111/two-types-narcissists-pose-somewhat-different-challenges“”

                  Yes !
                  I realized many years ago that there had to be something subconsciously inside me that was always attracted to (and them to me) men with ‘issues, problems’ etc. I had already done work on ‘the shadow’ more about that later… and had scoured my astrology texts to try to figure it out. I dug as deep as I could but couldn’t figure it out. I even (in 2005) went to a hypnotherapist in an effort to get to the bottom of this phenomenon. This therapist also used the emotional freedom tapping technique and when I left the session I felt 100% convinced that I had conquered this unconscious thing I had inside me, and that from here on in I would cease to meet and be attracted to, ‘broken’ men. Pah ! Nope! Wrong again!

                  It took until 2011 and a good counselor I was going to (cos someone set fire to my house with me asleep in it) for me to finally, finally realize what was going on. This counselor told me about The Drama Triangle, what a revelation. I read everything I could find on the subject and suddenly everything made sense. It’s taken probably two years to really assimilate what I’ve learned deep into the core of my being about this dynamic and the fact that I was a ‘starting gate’ rescuer.

                  After all the diving into the depths of myself trying to find, and figure out this missing piece of the puzzle, I’ve finally been able to bring to the light what was previously hidden from me. It’s really very odd kind of because I just FEEL it, like I feel it deep down inside myself that I no longer have any desire/compulsion/need to rescue anyone, or take responsibility for anything that is not mine. That too, I think links into what you say about the ego… I think unconsciously (mostly) my ego liked that I was ‘together’ enough to help others.

                  Re: the shadow self.
                  Back in 2004 I was having very in-depth astrology conversations with a lady who first mentioned the Shadow to me and a series of books by Robert A Johnson (‘We’, ‘She’ and ‘Owning your Own Shadow’). From memory I also read Robert Bly’s ‘A Little Book on the Human Shadow’. I was really struggling to figure out which bits of myself I ‘hated/disliked/disowned’ and projected onto others, rather than owning them as parts of myself. Also at this same time I had a very weird health issue come up where by pretty much everything I ate upset and hurt my stomach. It got to the point I was getting too scared to eat anything. I was also at this same time trying to get consent forms granted by the local council so I could have a garage built. And I was getting different advice from different people at the council and it all contradicted itself and I was starting to get incredibly stressed. It got so bad that I could tell that my body was heading for a complete break down if something didn’t change soon.

                  So I’m out walking my dog, trying to relax and thinking about all this ‘shadow’ stuff I’d been reading about and trying not to think about the fact I was heading for a nervous breakdown and it suddenly hit me. I had always prided myself on being an action person (as in not afraid to make decisions and take action… Mars in the 1st I reckon) and I’d never been able to understand people who couldn’t make decisions or take the necessary action needed at any given moment. But now here I was, a total basket case due to all the food problems I was having and all the stress with the council and I could not make decisions either or take action. I had suddenly become the thing I most couldn’t understand and more importantly, didn’t like, in others.

                  I knew as soon as this light bulb went on that my health issues would quickly sort themselves out and that the garage would go up fine. And they did! It was quite amazing really and also in a way quite scary to physically experience the awesome power of the mind ??? I mean how can having a realization about stuff like that suddenly change everything, but it did. All feelings I had that I was headed for a nervous breakdown disappeared, just like that, as did a short time later all my issues with food upsetting my stomach.

                  With regard to Saturn natally in my chart, I think it has quite a big influence on my Leo Asc as they are exactly quincunx (both at 23 degrees). When I read stuff about Leo rising the main bit about wanting to stand out and be noticed in the crowd etc, is totally not me. I don’t like being ‘on show’ at all, yet Leo rising is meant to love that kind of thing. God I don’t! I think Saturn puts a few limits on my Leo Asc that are probably a good thing ? 😉

                  Dee 

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                  • I forget to say in my previous reply – Love the front door/Asc analogy! Brilliant! I have Virgo rising (plus Virgo Moon conjunct Asc) which is so… reserved and completely misleads (not deliberately) people. I am very Virgo in many ways… but there’s the whole Pluto/Uranus in the 1st. Uh oh! I also have something else, I think It’s the Venus in Pisces opp Asc (or some aspect like that) which can create misleading impressions, as in – I’m oh so docile… until I’m not. Which is very frustrating for me… and for others. When I was younger I’d often get people saying to me – I want to introduce you to my son – as in I’d be a stable, practical and grounding influence. This always made me wince and panic. I’d want to shout – No, seriously, DON’T! If they aren’t rebelling against your parental rule now… they will once they’ve been around me (kidding, and yet not kidding).

                    Another thing from your previous comment (typical Merc in Aqua all over the place-ness) – I also considered going into a profession which was geared towards helping other people, and like you I had a realisation that this was probably not really my ‘thing’. Chiron in the 7th may want to help heal others, and Chiron in Pisces may have endless patience and understanding… Uranus/Pluto in the 1st has a different concept of the same thing and far less patience about it. Plus I have Mars in Scorpio square Mercury… so I came to a similar conclusion as you about it. I think we ‘help and heal’ in other ways. Those other ways need us to know ourselves inside out first.

                    I love the story about your epiphany. That is very Uranus in healing mode – sudden and stark, an electric moment which changes everything. But also Pluto in the 1st – willing to face the truth unflinchingly (which works well with your Scorpio placements – are they in the 3rd or 4th?). Great story AND that is your Chiron gift to others – sharing that story, and showing the inter-relatedness of everything.

                    My mind has just stalled, I’m sure there was more I wanted to say and absorb from what you’ve shared, but the perils of Nep in the 3rd natally is that at some point the mind shuts down because too much is going on.

                    I hope you stick around and share some more (fairly certain I haven’t scared you off yet 😉 ). Problem with having Pluto/Uranus in the 1st is our interactions can be brief – people come and go, as do we. Something our Chiron in the 7th sometimes struggles with… those whom we want to stick around sometimes go, those we want to go sometimes stick around until we contemplate ways to get rid of them which may not be ethical 😉

                    Btw, blogging is a great format for our type of chart and the energies within it!

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                • It helps to understand the influences of the 1st house when dealing with influences in the 7th, because they play off of each other and interact. Oppositions in particular are like extremist opposing views which refuse to find a middle ground – but because the 1st and 7th houses are under the auspices of Aries/Libra (whatever the signs which you have there natally) it helps to work with individuality versus cooperation, and balance the two extremes, find a meeting ground where both sides can air their opinions and find commonality (even if they don’t want to). It’s creative friction to the max.

                  If you have a loaded 1st and 7th, those two sides need to talk and stop shouting at each other 😀 because, chances are, they’re agreeing, they just don’t know it.

                  I love your perspective on the similarities in our charts, it’s bringing in new perspectives for me! Which I love!!! I’m doing a lot of pausing and Hmmmm-ing. Lots of cogs turning and cogitating. Yum yum – my Scorpio side in in the 3rd, it loves to dig deep and find out what makes people and things and myself tick.

                  For more on the whole ‘victim’ who isn’t a victim kind of scenario, research Covert Narcissists and things along those lines:

                  This is a really good post on it – http://blog.californiapsychics.com/blog/2011/01/self-loathing-and-narcissism-are-you-the-eternal-victim.html

                  This is interesting too – https://www.firstwivesworld.com/index.php/my-narcissistic-ex-husband/item/8320-passive-aggressive-narcissists-are-eternal-victims

                  And this – http://www.psychedinsanfrancisco.com/energy-theft/ – is a wonderful perspective for many reasons although a bit harrowing to read. I had flashbacks to dealing with my mother (and others like her) with this. I love how it gives the practical uses of emotions and things.

                  This – ” I came to this horrifying (well horrifying to me) realization that this poor little boy’s mother didn’t actually want help.” – Uranus in the 1st at work there. It’s a very optimistic placement for Uranus, but it also means we have to face some hard and almost impossible to understand truths about humans, about being human. Uranus in the 1st is a bit alien to this whole human experience thing. And it also ties in with Chiron in the 7th – why on earth would anyone want to keep a situation static if that situation causes pain – especially for a child, and a loved one!!! Uranus in the 1st has a lot to learn, Pluto in the 1st helps with understanding those lessons (as long as Pluto isn’t in its more destructive mode).

                  I think we – those of us with Pluto/Uranus in the 1st opp. Chiron in the 7th – benefit from switching our focus from being understood by others to focusing on understanding ourselves and others. As long as we’re waiting for others to finally understand us… we’re going to be stuck in limbo. We have to make the first move. Then somewhere along our journey we may discover that we get a bit of understanding too… but that shouldn’t be our goal or our focus as it leads to endless waiting and disappointment. That’s my take on it anyway. Once I stopped giving a bleep about being understood… eff me if suddenly I was getting some effing understanding… and I didn’t really want it anymore, but it’s a nice bonus 😉

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                  • “I am very Virgo in many ways… but there’s the whole Pluto/Uranus in the 1st. Uh oh! I also have something else, I think It’s the Venus in Pisces opp Asc (or some aspect like that) which can create misleading impressions, as in – I’m oh so docile… until I’m not.”

                    I wonder if it may be your Moon opposite Venus ? As that has a closer orb. But perhaps it’s just the sheer power of Pluto in the first. Knowing Pluto, I wouldn’t be surprised. If I understand correctly you consider yourself to have Pluto conjunct Uranus? I know they are technically within a wide orb and would be called an out of sign conjunction, but if I looked randomly at your chart I would never have thought of them as being conjunct.???

                    You asked about my Sun…. it’s at 1.45’ of Scorpio. My Venus is at 28 of Libra. Both are in the second house. My Neptune/Merc conjunction in Scorp is in my third house. I have Virgo and Pisces intercepted in my chart. Being born way down south (at the bottom of the world lol) my first house and seventh house are huge. Like you I also have a Sagi/Gemini IC-MC.

                    “I also considered going into a profession which was geared towards helping other people, and like you I had a realisation that this was probably not really my ‘thing’. Chiron in the 7th may want to help heal others, and Chiron in Pisces may have endless patience and understanding… Uranus/Pluto in the 1st has a different concept of the same thing and far less patience about it.”

                    God isn’t that the truth. I know, for me, one of my greatest lessons to learn this lifetime is PATIENCE. Something that does not come naturally to me at all lol.

                    “I think we ‘help and heal’ in other ways. Those other ways need us to know ourselves inside out first.”

                    Yes ! Your North Node is technically conjunct your Chiron too…. I bet you do help many people via this blog. 🙂

                    “My mind has just stalled, I’m sure there was more I wanted to say and absorb from what you’ve shared, but the perils of Nep in the 3rd natally is that at some point the mind shuts down because too much is going on.”

                    Yep, can relate to that. I also have the illness ME and brain fog makes the shut down even worse at times. 😦

                    “I hope you stick around and share some more (fairly certain I haven’t scared you off yet 😉 ). Problem with having Pluto/Uranus in the 1st is our interactions can be brief – people come and go, as do we. Something our Chiron in the 7th sometimes struggles with…”

                    Yes again, and that’s something that has taken me years and years to come to terms with. People pop in to my life and then suddenly can pop right out again. And I hate it! Up until now the only thing that has offered any solace to this phenomenon is the wonderful saying “People come into your life for a Reason, Season or life time”.

                    “If you have a loaded 1st and 7th, those two sides need to talk and stop shouting at each other 😀 because, chances are, they’re agreeing, they just don’t know it.”

                    To be honest I’m not sure if I’ve ever really experienced them as fighting and shouting at each other. I do know now trigger points for me and how I unconsciously react when in some relationship situations but I’m aware now to stop and breathe and I know it’s just ‘that bloody opposition’ doing it’s thing that’s causing me to think/feel this way and that it’s highly likely I’m over reacting. Does that just contradict my first sentence LOL

                    “Yum yum – my Scorpio side in in the 3rd, it loves to dig deep and find out what makes people and things and myself tick.”

                    Yes I love that too, and have been like that since I was 17.
                    Thanks for the links to more info on Narcissism, I’m finding them very interesting.
                    Re focusing on understanding ourselves and others, rather than waiting for others to understand us…… I agree to a point. But there comes a time when enough is enough. What I mean by that is, I have a pretty good handle on myself. I’m not afraid to look at and address the ‘dark’ bits of me when they arise, and I think I’ve got a lot of empathy for other people…… too much actually at times with my bloody Pisces Moon (but that’s an entirely new topic) 😉 and sometimes I just get tired of being told ‘you’re too intense, you’re too confident, you’re too outgoing ’ etc,etc etc. For me it’s about being valued as a whole person.

                    Am totally loving these conversations,

                    Dee 🙂

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                    • Ha! Snap! I’ve often questioned my Pluto/Uranus conjunction. It is in very wide orb and when I started delving into orbs (I’m a total newb with that), I really argued with whether it was conjunct or not. Astrologers consider it to be – but also mention it as being a loose conjunction. I had a conversation about that with a friend who has it in closer conjunction in the 1st. I kind of see the fact that it’s conjunct, but also at the tail end of the conjunction (with Uranus trying to break free from its ties to Pluto) as being expressive of me as I am and of my life in general.

                      I’m mixed race and neither side of the family ever accepted the mix or me. I was born in a foreign place which wasn’t my home, and grew up in other foreign places which weren’t my home either. I don’t really have a family (except the one I’ve made for myself) or a home (wherever I lay my hat). I’m my own tribe and home. Pretty much any box I could put myself in falls apart or any label which I could sort of stick on myself falls off, due to details. I could sort of fit in with other misfits… but not really because of details.

                      So it kind of fits that it’s conjunct, yet sort of not really. And my natal Uranus is in the 1st, yet also sort of almost in the 2nd – my chart likes to mess with me 😉

                      I often have arguments with my natal chart (Mars square Mercury can argue – debate – with anything). My chart argues back – damn thing has a voice, several voices! It’s kind of funny (or maybe I’m a complete fruit loop). Pluto trines my Sun, so they’re in league with each other, often against my Uranus/Jupiter conjunction which trines my Mercury. One side is super optimistic and the other side is deeply intense (and prone to super pessimism). And my Uranus is always trying to escape from the clutches of Pluto.

                      You’ve probably sussed out by now that my way of doing astrology is my way of doing it. I tend to call it intuitive astrology, since I have a lot of Neptune theme stuff going on, but I suppose it’s really just me making it up as I go along – not complete invention, just taking the information I gather and personalising it. I use astrology to help me figure myself (and other and other things) out – so it’s a bit like buying clothes, it has to fit me not the other way around. What I’m really looking for, above all else, is the parts which make me say – No way am I going to wear this! – then I know I’ve hit something worth exploring because I’ve had a defensive reaction.

                      Or something like that 😀

                      So you have intercepted signs and planets – I don’t but I was reading about it and some astrologers who’ve studied it consider it to be very significant to how the energy plays out in the chart. Have you explored the meaning of the interception. This, I think (not sure), is a good overview – http://www.bobmarksastrologer.com/Intercepted_signs.htm – in your experience is this good or rubbish? The concept of ‘blocked’ energies is intriguing.

                      Merc/Nep is a tough conjunction to have, as the energies of the two can mess with each other, work at cross purposes. For me having Nep in the 3rd really screws with my mind, sometimes in a good way, but sometimes it just creates confusion central. One of my fav astrologers – Howard Sasportas – mentions in his book – The Twelve Houses – that there is a possible link between having Nep in the 3rd and Dyslexia (which I have), and his insight into it from an astrological view changed how I viewed it. Before I read his book, I hadn’t really considered the 3rd house’s influence on the mental processes, I tended to just look at Mercury and its placement and aspects, afterwards I could see that having Mars and Nep in the 3rd expressed how I experienced my Dyslexia – in short – I get confused and then I get angry. Since Nep and Mars both aspect my Moon in the 12th, the energy from them flows there and creates added complications. But they also contain some solutions.

                      Okay, I’m stopping here. I could go on but I don’t want to overwhelm with my blah blah. I want to know more about your chart and how you experience it 🙂

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                    • Hi, I can’t reply underneath your reply that starts “Ha, Snap”. Are there limits on comments and posts? I’m still really struggling with this blimmin site. Did an intro last night, clicked save changes and pooff everything disappeared. I gave up.

                      Like

                    • There is a limit on comment threads (that is replies to a comment), but not a limit on comments on posts unless you want to set one. You can close comments on posts and stuff like that. You can adjust the comment settings on posts via the Dashboard -> Settings (all the way at the bottom) -> Discussion

                      Sometimes WordPress experiences glitches. So if you can’t reply to a particular comment, then just start a new comment.

                      Have you checked the draft folder for the intro you wrote last night. Go to Posts -> All Posts. Then look at the top under the ‘Posts’ heading if the word ‘Draft’ is there with a (1) next to it, then that’s where your post is. Click on it and it should take you to a page where you can view it, edit it, etc. Otherwise it glitched.

                      You can also find drafts in the ‘Quick Draft’ section of the dashboard. It shows up under the ‘save draft’ button.

                      When WordPress deletes something of mine I just figure it’s the universe telling me to do something different with a post instead – it helps to go with the flow a bit otherwise blogging becomes stressful. Make a mess and see what happens – that’s my Zen of blog.

                      You’ll get it soon enough and when you do… watch out blogosphere!!! 😀

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                    • And now the crazy thing did put my post directly under yours *shakes head in frustration*

                      Anyway 🙂

                      You asked about my interceptions, these bits from Bob Marks make sense to me, the rest doesn’t. I think what he says doesn’t work for me because he is just talking about the signs being intercepted (no reference to actually having planets in those signs) and I have 6 planets in those signs.

                      From Bob Marks:
                      Virgo-Pisces Intercepted: Virgo is slow, careful, and meticulous. And it always has questions,…… always looking for tiny details.
                      Virgo is intercepted in the opposite house, and that’s where we can be too critical and judgmental ( Yes for me that is true, other people have often said to me I am too hard on myself )
                      Houses With Intercepted Signs:
                      First and Seventh Houses: The problem areas are “presenting” yourself (1st house) and partnerships (7th house). (This is true with regard to others being attracted to my sunny, outgoing, confident, bold, personality (Leo Rising) and then freaking out when they realize I’m not a shallow airhead and am incredibly deep.)

                      Years ago I had a few conversations with Alice Miller about my chart and her take on interceptions rings far more true to me than Bob Marks does.
                      Learning About Interceptions
                      by Alice Miller
                      http://www.lifeprintastrology.com

                      “If you are one of life’s misfits, never entirely comfortable in your birth family or with people in your age group, you may have an intercepted chart..
                      If you could never make sense of the beliefs of people close to you, if you grew up in an environment where your actions did not bring dependable reactions, or where you could not figure out what you did to cause the things that happened to you, you probably have an interception.

                      All of the above refer to the interception of a pair of opposite signs. Such chart areas are submerged beneath the surface for a significant part of your lifetime. Only when the time is right–do they emerge as a source of power. Until they do, it is common for us to attract people who sense that power and assume that we will do with it, what they would do with it, if it were theirs. From this can come some very unexpected reactions and responses, including various types of attacks, most often designed to drain our energy and/or our finances.

                      While some intercepted areas are empty, most have one or more planets caught within them. Occasionally we see the nodal axis intercepted, and rarely, the Part of Fortune. These further complicate the chart. Not only do they behave differently from the norm, they also affect the signs which they rule, making them seem partially or wholly intercepted as well.

                      Perhaps the most important single attribute of interceptions is that they mark individuals born outside the general consciousness. Something about natives is an unknown in the early environment. What they were born to be is often something unknown or unaccepted in that environment. That makes it hard to discover, simply because it is an unknown possibility. In our first book, we often referred to such natives as Starseed, in deference to a term coming into acceptance at the time. In reality, each such individual is intended to join the ranks of the group that is birthing, midwifeing, bringing in the next age. Each has some contribution to make to the raising of human consciousness. Most have the appearance of one who incarnates from the future, or from some different planet, system, or dimension. All are somewhat Aquarian in nature.

                      The simplest translation of intercepted nodes is “neglected child”…..may not mean that the child was not fed , etc, but does mean that it was not “seen” and/or “heard.” This being must be a very advanced one, else it would not survive.”

                      And all through my childhood my father would constantly say “ Children should be seen and not heard” “Children should only speak when they are spoken to.” I had a blockage in my throat charka for many, many years. It began to heal when I got involved with the local spiritualist church and started learning about energy healing etc.

                      My 7th house is a complicated little bundle of joy. Probably explains why none of my relationships have lasted more than 6 years. I think for a relationship to work for me the person concerned will have to have a mix of Aquarian, Pisces and Aries traits/energies because all 3 signs are in my 7th house.

                      I love your description of Uranus trying to break free and escape Pluto’s clutches…. and how it’s also trying to get into your 2nd house. Many astrologers would say it was in the 2nd house. ………… My personal view though is if and it’s a big IF, you know for a fact the correct time of your birth then unless it is actually right on the same degree as the house cusp it will be in one or the other of the houses.

                      I don’t really find my Merc-Neptune conjunction difficult, probably because, while it is square my Asc, it is trine everything else. I am able to ‘read’ energy. That is the best way I can describe it. I can read energy between people and feel the hidden undercurrents, stuff that other people don’t see. I can also just ‘know people’ ,total strangers who I don’t know from a bar of soap. What I mean by that is I can look at them and know stuff about their personality, deep stuff about who they are. Although I think as I’ve gotten older I’ve turned that function off quite a bit, or, I just don’t take much notice of it anymore….. not sure. When I’ve been in intimate relationships I have freaked a number of men out because I literally can ‘mind read’ them. Most people don’t like it when another person has access to their private thoughts etc. It’s not even something that I consciously do, it just happens on an energy level. It’s very weird. This will also be related to my Pisces Moon, which of course trines my Merc/Neptune.

                      PS, I relate to getting confused then angry…. my attempts with this blog site proving that ! LOL 😉

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                    • Wow! That’s excellent what you shared about intercepted signs. My partner has intercepted signs which is why I had been researching it but then I got sidetracked and lost focus. So, thank you very much.

                      I was thinking about what you said about… well, everything, but what caught my eye was – “I think for a relationship to work for me the person concerned will have to have a mix of Aquarian, Pisces and Aries traits/energies because all 3 signs are in my 7th house.”

                      I have Pisces/Aries in my 7th and I see them as being more indicative of who I attract and the sort of dynamic which is part of my Chiron/NN lessons rather than who is necessarily good for me, in a stable and healthy way, in a relationship. For me the 7th shows the dynamic which I have to learn from, figure out, and integrate – and I’ve come to view the Pisces/Aries energies as correlating in some ways with narcissists, at least the ones whom I have known. The ones I tend to ‘attract’ are usually covert narcissists who play the victim (Pisces) but underneath their ‘victim’ role they’re very aggressive (Aries). The passive-aggressive theme, IMO, goes with Pisces/Aries. These are the relationship I struggle with, where my wounding lies, and which I need to explore and figure out.

                      I should point out that the narcissists I know aren’t actually Pisces or Aries, at least the ones whose Suns signs and charts I know aren’t and don’t have those signs dominating their charts. However their behaviour and the interaction seems to reflect those energies – and I seem to end up playing out the opposite energies of Virgo/Libra in the equation.

                      However for long term relationships, friendships, I tend to be attracted to people with Virgo/Scorpio energy. My partner has stelliums in both those signs. I think perhaps it is because both signs are not afraid of depth and intensity, they both dig and explore, and have an unflinching gaze with which they look at life, themselves and others. They can look after themselves and don’t need mollycoddling. So I always feel at ease and comfortable around them, and it allows me to be more openly myself and that seems to be mutual.

                      On a silly tangent, I found this was an quick and yet insightful way to view what we seek in meaningful relationships – http://www.falconastrology.com/natal_asteroids.htm – I love playing with asteroids, they add an extra something which sometimes tweaks or ties together what is already there.

                      I was wondering if you find that perhaps you attract Aquarius/Aries types as in the energy rather than people with those signs, and at first they seem radical, free-thinkers with lots of initiative, accepting of one and all and totally appreciative of your uniqueness, and all seems well until they reveal to you their Pisces energy side (which would have the signature of your Chiron/Moon/Saturn) and their wound dominates, emotionally and restrictively, they start to try to control you with their needs, their feelings, and impose all sorts of rules and regulations upon you about how you have to be for them. This would perhaps bring out your opposing planets and sign to free yourself from the bonds – Uranus/Mars/Pluto do not like to be trapped, manipulated, controlled. Being that they are intercepted, perhaps they only come out fully and are expressed when this dynamic is stimulated. This is, of course, complete conjecture.

                      The only thing about that extract of the intercepted signs which made my toes curl and nose wrinkle was the Starseed bit because that is the sort of thing a narcissist would latch onto to prove how special they are, and to excuse their behaviour. I knew an N who did the whole Indigo child thing. The concept is interesting, how it is used by humans is another.

                      But I do understand the outsider feeling – that is a component of Uranus & Pluto in the 1st too. Btw, have you ever read The Outsider by Colin Wilson. He wrote it long before he went off into the paranormal and mysticism. It is a wonderful book which captures the essence and experience of the misfit. Every atom of my being zinged when I read it.

                      Have you had your ‘midlife crisis’ transits? Nep square Nep was a blanket of total fog for me. I mean I know I can be stupid and dense, but this was ridiculous, my mind just switched off… however I got to know my body really well, which was new to me. Uranus opp Uranus was flipping fantastic and it’s when I dove into blogging and social media. Pluto square Pluto happened when I was still not talking to astrology so I didn’t really pay attention to it, but I did go through a transformation, I just didn’t equate it to transits and such.

                      The glitches of blogging platforms used to drive me stress-nuts, then I decided to chill and things went more smoothly. Mind you… when they update the software, that can be a bit of a headache sometimes, but there’s always new bits which are sometimes lovely. I started blogging on tumblr first, it’s easier to use, and I was slightly reluctant about WordPress as it seemed so very serious, btu once I got to know the platform and the wonderful community… love it! 🙂

                      You’ll be fine… you have Merc in Scorpio and lots of Virgo, there is nothing that you can’t figure out!!!

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                    • This is going to be in the wrong place probably.

                      “I have Pisces/Aries in my 7th and I see them as being more indicative of who I attract and the sort of dynamic which is part of my Chiron/NN lessons rather than who is necessarily good for me, in a stable and healthy way, in a relationship.”
                      Yes I can understand that because your NN is tied into it, meaning Major life lessons etc. I see mine differently because it doesn’t have the influence of the NN. My NN is at the tail end of my 8th house in Taurus. Just thinking about that has made me realize that I should probably do a bit of research on South Node conjunct Neptune cos I have them widely conjunct and don’t think I’ve ever really looked into that……

                      I’m pondering on your comments about the 7th, Pisces/Aries energy and narcissists I don’t think I’ve really experienced it that way.

                      “However for long term relationships, friendships, I tend to be attracted to people with Virgo/Scorpio energy. My partner has stelliums in both those signs. I think perhaps it is because both signs are not afraid of depth and intensity, they both dig and explore, and have an unflinching gaze with which they look at life, themselves and others.”
                      I’d be happy to attract people with that energy mix, but never do, Virgo/Scorpio people seem to run a mile from me. Which I totally don’t understand as technically it should be like you say and find with your partner.

                      On the dating front, Virgo and Scorpio men never like me or find me appealing. With Virgo I put this down to my 3 planets in Virgo in the 1st will scare the crap out of them…. (but then again, I’ve been told a number of times that ‘Most men will be scared of you’ by a few men who weren’t ). . With Scorpio, their planets will fall in my 2nd or 3rd houses and that just doesn’t ever seem to add up to a relationship possibility. Yet it does for you cos your partner’s planets will fall in your 3rd house……

                      I’ve discovered that generally, for someone to consider me as a possible partner their personal planets need to fall in my 7th house. This really became clear to me once when I met a guy who was totally into me and who saw me as ‘wife’ material. His Venus fell in my 7th house, meaning he put me in that role… if you get what I mean? It was just a pity I didn’t find him physically attractive.

                      With regard to : “I was wondering if you find that perhaps you attract Aquarius/Aries types as in the energy rather than people with those signs………”
                      No. I find the energy generally goes with the sign pretty much. And I’ve never experienced things as you put it in your conjecture. I’ve never had a romantic relationship where the guy had the wound and tried to control me etc. A few guys had wounds that, being a rescuer I tried to fix, but not to the point of them controlling/restricting me etc. Except maybe with my now ex husband. He didn’t try to control me, but I do now believe he is a Narc…..well he certainly has an awful lot of the traits…… Which of course would make total sense, I married my mother *shudders* as she was the dominant parent.

                      I do think there is some merit to the ideas of Starseed people and Indigo children etc. While I am sure there are some who will be Narcs, I believe there are genuine people out there who identify as Starseeds/Lightworkers/Indigo/Crystal’s who are not Narcs. I think we (children of Narcs) have to be careful of not being too hypersensitive around the whole area. I know that’s extremely difficult though and I wonder now about one lady friend I had in particular, who also said she had a Narc mother…. I wonder now if she actually was one herself……. Which now totally freaks me out…..cos to me, if she actually is, it means I was fooled again. 😦

                      No I haven’t read The Outsider….. will look that up.

                      “Have you had your ‘midlife crisis’ transits? Nep square Nep was a blanket of total fog for me.”
                      I totally ignore outer transits like that because they effect whole generations. I certainly knew about it when Neptune conjuncted my DEC though!!!!

                      Oh, did Uranus oppose my natal Uranus…. LOL I didn’t realize. Seriously! But again I bloody new about it when ‘he’ conjuncted my DEC…. that was back in 2001 and my relationship ended….. and the stuff that happened just before that, well, you wouldn’t read about it….. but that’s another story.

                      Pluto square Pluto…. You already know what I’m about to say. LOL. But I acted true to Pluto’s energy when ‘he’ conjuncted my IC (which is 11.49 Sagi) and that’s another totally whacky story of buying a house out of the blue. And at the time I had no idea at all the transit was going on.

                      Have you read Liz Greene’s book The Astrology of Fate ? it is a knock out. I totally shit myself (sorry for the language but it best describes how I felt) when I read it and then went back and plugged into the computer all those big life changes you go through…. And some of the not so big ones yet equally important. I discovered that in every instance there happened to be a major transit of some kind going on to either a personal planet or an angle of my chart. Yet as I said, I had no idea at the time. I found that really freaky…….

                      The book and system I use most now for transits is called “The eagle and the lark” by Bernadette Brady. I’ve been testing out her system over the last 10 years or so and it is incredibly accurate most of the time. 🙂

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                    • I used to do that too, ignore the outer planets because of the generational influence thing, and in the days when I was first looking into astrology most astrologers didn’t write that much about the outer planets other than a short blurb about the generational influence, which seemed a bit boring to me and not particularly relevant because I always felt out of sync with my generation. Nowadays I find the generational thing fascinating, especially in retrospect, and overlapping it with history, society and world changes.

                      I can’t recall what made me change my mind and decide to explore the outer planets, perhaps it was because I never really related that much to the inner planets (except for Mercury which happens to be my chart Dominant), something, a deeper connection, always seemed to be missing. I’m glad I did because it changed astrology for me, made it more useful and interesting. Made my chart more interesting and useful too.

                      One of the first books I read on the outer planets was Jeff green’s Pluto book. Awesome stuff! And now, of course, with the Pluto/Uranus square there is just such a wealth of information on the outer planets, and how they affect us on a personal level.

                      A while ago I came across the concept of Outer Planet People (OPPs) – those who have the outer planets dominating their charts in some way. It is not dissimilar to the concept of Starseeds, Indigos, etc.

                      OPPs info:

                      “Outer Planet People

                      In the natal horoscopes of many, if not most, people, the outer planets are “asleep”. They’re only awakened and active in the horoscopes of outer planet people, or those who have these planets dignified or sensitively placed in their natal horoscopes.
                      To be an outer planet person, one or more of the outer planets must be:
                      – Conjunct the Ascendant or one of the other cardinal angles of the birthchart, or squaring them;
                      – Conjunct or aspecting the Sun or Moon, especially by hard aspect;
                      – Conjunct or aspecting one of the personal or classical planets, especially by hard aspect.
                      Outer planet people can’t escape dealing with the outer planets in their lives, for better or worse. Many of them have special gifts and abilities that are latent, and must be developed.

                      The Outer Planets and Dysfunctional Families

                      The outer planets tend to be prominent in the natal horoscopes of those who come from dysfunctional families. The trials and hardships that these people face in their early family lives put special spiritual and evolutionary challenges to them, which are symbolized by the outer planets.
                      Uranus is prominent in the natal charts of people who were raised in an excessively open, permissive or chaotic family environment, where anything goes, and there were no reassuring guidelines or structure. This puts a special evolutionary challenge to them to find their own inherent guidelines, structure and ethical principles.
                      Neptune is prominent in the natal charts of those who were raised by alcoholic, codependent, addictive or otherwise out-of-control parents with a poor sense of dignity, self respect and personal boundaries. The challenge to the individual is to find their own intrinsic sense of dignity, self worth and self control.
                      Pluto is prominent in the natal charts of those whose early family environment was dominated by manipulation, power plays and emotional blackmail. Physical, mental, emotional or sexual abuse was also commonly present. The challenge to the individual is to break down the old walls of fear, shame, guilt and manipulation, and totally transform and rebuild their lives from a new foundation of spiritual power and courage.” via http://www.greekmedicine.net/medical_astrology/The_Planets.html

                      Oh… btw, I saw you posted your chart -YAY on your first post 😀 – have you explored chart shapes at all – http://www.astrotheme.com/files/planetary-patterns.php

                      Tired now (just realised how late it is over here), brain has gone blank 🙂

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                    • re your post on OPP

                      I’ve pulled out my transit books and am now having a read of the outer planets aspecting each other……. 🙂

                      I’ve got both Jeff Green’s Pluto books, and quite a few by Steven Forrest too. They are excellent.

                      I’ve never heard of OPP before, sounds fascinating and what you have shared rings true.
                      “To be an outer planet person, one or more of the outer planets must be:”

                      – Conjunct the Ascendant or one of the other cardinal angles of the birthchart, or squaring them;
                      Yep, I have Neptune Square Asc

                      – Conjunct or aspecting the Sun or Moon, especially by hard aspect;
                      Ha ha… Yep again…. Uranus and Pluto opposite my Moon, and the easier one of Neptune trine my Moon

                      — Conjunct or aspecting one of the personal or classical planets, especially by hard aspect.
                      Neptune conjunct Mercury for me too. Do you think I qualify ? he he he 😉

                      “Outer planet people can’t escape dealing with the outer planets in their lives, for better or worse. Many of them have special gifts and abilities that are latent, and must be developed.”
                      Don’t know what my ‘special gifts’ are….

                      “Oh… btw, I saw you posted your chart -YAY on your first post 😀 – have you explored chart shapes at all – ”

                      Yes, years ago I looked at them, and have a few books on them but didn’t really find them to be all that inspiring…..

                      Like

                    • Your special gifts are the things which you do naturally, they are a part of you, of who you are as is. However OPPs often fight their natural abilities, I think it’s part of how those abilities are developed.

                      There is a sense of trying to be who you are not, and do what does not come naturally because:

                      a) others give you the impression that who you are is wrong somehow and you should be someone else like they are

                      b) it feels that being as you are is a constant battle, and you just want to relax and have concluded that if you could just be who you are not life would be easier

                      c) who you are naturally seems to drive everyone away, but not being yourself although it may keep people with you drives you away from yourself

                      OPPs tend to either fight against others – the perpetual rebel – or they fight against themselves – masters of the self-destructive martial arts. Usually it is a bit of both, swinging between extremes. A lot depends on how the outer planets interact in your natal chart, and how they interact by transit with your natal planets. How the energies combine.

                      I think OPPs find their sweet spot when they are older, due to the slow moving nature of the energies of the outer planets and how long it takes to integrate them – our younger years tend to be chaotic. Later, the chaos reveals its order to us. Or something like that. We’re late bloomers. But once we bloom… everything changes.

                      That’s my take on it anyway.

                      I was a bit meh about the chart shapes until recently and then it kind of synchronised with what I was exploring astrologically and made sense. I have a locomotive chart, and understanding how it operated gave me a better grasp of the energy fluctuations and such.

                      We seek and find what we need when we need it 🙂

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  7. May wellness and well-being bless you, all whom you love, and all life.

    After playing with your chart for awhile, I am guessing that the birth occurred in the evening of January 7, 1969. Pluto is retrograde with the declination at 16°N15′ while Uranus’ declination is at 0°S54′. The two are separated by more than 8° longitude; therefore, this combination is far from a conjunction. Indeed, Pluto is pretty isolated except for a rather wide contraparallel with Neptune.

    Without considering declinations, the 2-D flatlander perspective misses the depth of the Being who is manifesting an incarnation. Even more, as pointed out in the Edgar Cayce Readings, the tropical chart is nearly 30° askew. Thus, the Virgo Moon becomes Leo in the sidereal chart. And the beauty of Leo Moon is the soul-born capacity to forgive. Yes, the Sun’s radiance warms the Moon’s core, and loving-full kindness and mercy-full forgiveness are among this Soul’s deepest assets.

    No wonder you feel out of place in this realm of shadows, where the Princes of Shades teach fear. Because the christed-heart, full of compassion for all beings great and small, seems rare … a person may feel as though he or she is an alien here.

    The Leo Moon in 12th on the cusp of the Ascendant is similar to Paramhansa Yogananda’s natal chart (born January 5, 1893) also with Leo Moon in the 12th near the Ascendant. This great heart-radiant and loving-full being was also an “alien” to this planet of ever-shifting shadows.

    Additionally, the Capricorn Sun becomes Sagittarius, just as with Yogananda … and your aspiration for the Highest Ideal is another reason you may feel alien to a planet where instantaneous gratification and grasping for the next fleeting twinkie seems the norm. In the U.S.A. (United States of Amnesia) very few seek to awaken from the mass consensus trance.

    With Pluto, Uranus, and Ketu in the 1st House, with Jupiter in the 2nd House of self-worth, this life may bring the transformation that brings Love’s light and Light’s love to all those with whom you interact.

    With grace and reverent acknowledgement,

    Steven

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    • Thank you very much for sharing your perspective on my chart 🙂

      It’s unusual for someone to analyse my chart (other than myself), slightly unnerving (which I love as it is a challenge) and I also enjoy exploring new perspectives for the value they offer which leads to enrichment on levels beyond the material realm.

      I am more of a tropical chart person than a sidereal one. Perhaps because I was born in the west. I did explore sidereal astrology a while back and found it intriguing. However the way that I use astrology, as an experiential amateur (a very amateur amateur) and enthusiast, the tropical chart flows better with what I’m seeking from astrology than the sidereal one. Perhaps I am still moving towards the wisdom that sidereal astrology has to offer, but I am not there yet.

      Virgo Moon suits me better than a Leo Moon. As does a Virgo Asc. Leo energy still eludes me. There are certain other changes which a sidereal chart creates in my natal chart which I’m not ready for. A Capricorn Sun is more explanatory in certain matters than a Sagittarius Sun, although I do look to my 9th house for balance and my Cap Sun has always been at odds with how I view myself – but perhaps that is due to my view and not my astrological Sun.

      I agree that the conjunction between Pluto/Uranus in my chart is really a non-conjunction. I’ve discussed this with people who have a true conjunction of those planets natally and I feel that the status/non-status of the conjunction in my chart is actually very expressive of how I view my chart and myself. It reflects certain things which are spot on, IMO.

      The feeling of being an ‘alien’ is an intriguing concept, particularly on a psychological level, both personally and collectively. Many people experience this feeling – and it is very prevalent at this time, and coincides with the rise in interest in ‘Introversion’ and the interpretations of what that means. I think the thing about it which has garnered my attention the most at this moment is the fact that so many people, both of my generation and in other generations, especially the ones after mine, feel as though they are aliens. It is a theme which many share – so if we all feel as though we are aliens, is anyone not an alien?

      It’s propitious that you should have commented when you did, your comment happened to coincide with a discussion I was having which was not astrological but was about certain things upon which you touched.

      Also intriguing is the fact that you mentioned Yogananda – His autobiography was something which I related with and is one of my favourite books, when I read it many years ago while I was passing through a transformative phase. He inspired me.

      The issues which I discussed in this post, are ones which have grown and evolved to cause much inner transformation in a way which is still sinking in and revealing itself. I did consider writing an update to this post… still considering it.

      I don’t live in the USA so many of the issues which such a country has in an insular manner and creates in a global manner are peripheral yet also worth investigating. Each slice of a whole is relevant to the whole but does not define the whole.

      I am grateful to you for what you have shared, it has given me much food for thought, what plants theses seeds of thought will grow… I do not yet know.

      I am curious about your own chart and how your chart influences your perspective of mine… I sense an intrepid investigator in your words, with unflinching eyes, one looking to uncover what is hidden and expose it for the purpose of transformation and evolution, of one and all. If you care to share your own chart, I would appreciate the value of knowing who is looking at me… and is willing to allow me to also look at them.

      Best wishes, blessings and respect to you on your journey through life 🙂

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      • Ursula,

        One more comment about aspects: on the day of your posting on May 19, 2013, Uranus and Pluto were almost exact conjunct by longitude, with an orb 0°02’46”. Every 2-D flatlander astrologer would quack about the dynamics of that connection. However, they are separated by 23°29′ in declination.

        Using just longitude, Montreal, Canada and Concepcion, Chile are both located 73°West. From a 2-D perspective, Montreal and Concepcion appear to be conjunct; however, they are more than 5600 miles apart. Conjunct?

        One may plan a hike in the mountains, and look at a map on a flat piece of paper; however, that flat map gives zero perspective on the challenges and dynamics of climb. In the same way, many distortions and misperceptions may occur when attempting to map a life by looking at the natal wheel charted on a flat piece of paper.

        Without knowing the exact time and place of the birth (exact means exact, i.e., not a city but the actual address at which the birth took place), an interpretation may be rife with errors while also containing enough generalized platitudes that anyone can say, “Yes, that’s me.”

        Why rife with errors? Because aspects to the personal points (Asc/Dsc; MC/IC; Vx/Anti-Vx; PoAsc/PoDsc; CoAsc/CoDsc) are keys to creating a truly personal interpretation; and even slight shifts in location can change the positions of the personal points. Furthermore, knowing the true birth time (not necessarily the time of the first breath) can create charts and bring insights which can open vistas far beyond those provided by the “madding crowd.”

        Having practiced past life therapy, I think that the personality is similar to the blossom of a lotus. Every year a new flower may arise, blossom, then fade away; however, the roots remain intact, and from their continuity a new blossom may arise.

        The blossom is at the Ascendant; however, the roots are at the IC. And it is looking from the roots (Soul), moving clockwise, which may provide another perspective on the Being hidden behind the mask of the persona.

        Using the chart which you posted (and accepting your preference for the tropical system), the IC is Sagittarius. Going clockwise, Neptune is now in the 1st House (the 3rd House counter-clockwise from the Ascendant). Yes, Neptune, planet of dreams, imagination, inspiration, and insight may be deeply rooted in your psyche and may inform you in far-deeper ways than others realize. Indeed, you may access the subliminal in such an active way that that which is hidden from and mysterious to others may seem apparent to you.

        Especially with a close bi-novile between the Moon and Neptune, with Sun septile Neptune, Mercury in an almost-exact 16th harmonic with Neptune, and BlackMoon tri-septile Neptune, you probably experience the form of awareness which Steiner called “atavistic clairvoyance.”

        Given, this primacy of Neptune, I feel certain that “correct” birth time would show a close aspect to one of the personal points.

        Joy, grace, kindness, and reverent thanks-being,

        Steven

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  8. Jeeesus…Your birth chart and your life story is veery similar to mine. I have the Moon on almost the same degree as you. Same house same sign. Plus also Virgo rising. My mother was an awful woman who almost destroyd my life. Narcissistic yes. / Take care, we can survive this

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing 🙂 (always hard for a 12th house moon)

      That Moon in the 12th is an enigma to figure out because it has so many possible meanings and interpretations, both personally and via everyone who weighs in on what it might mean. It is seen and hidden at the same time.

      For me, focusing on the Moon in 12th, exploring it, and the Virgo side of it, has been insightful, especially when I stray outside of typical astrology and give it my own spin. Take what others say about it and how I react to that, follow the reactions and where it leads.

      Virgo is so much more than what astrologers see it as being. It’s a strong sign which is often overshadowed. With the Moon in 12th… there is a certain living and being in the dark side of an eclipse. See what is in the dark.

      Where’s your Pluto? And where’s your Mercury, as Virgo rising is influenced by Mercury. And do you have aspects to your Moon/Asc? Those are useful allies.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hello again! Thanks for answer. Yes I’ve understood now that Virgo is a very strong sign. Strong in silence you could say. Virgos has a lot of endurance but we don’t scream it out for the word to admire us for this trait. But at some parts of my life I wish now after that I would have screamed for help 🙂
        I want to show you my birth chart but I don’t think I can attach it here.
        I have a square to my Moon. To the Sun in tenth house Gemini. I also have Mercury conjunct Sun in the same house. I also have the Moon trine Neptune and Venus.
        Pluto I have in second house Libra. Don’t think I have any aspects to the ascendant.
        I feel like I am too soft and tender for this world. Although I am a very social Gemini I need a lot of time for rest and contemplation. This often confuses people it seems like. I’ve often heard that people don’t understand who and what I am. Haha…
        It´s difficult for me to live in this materialistic world because I don’t share its values and I think that people can sense that. What other people chase I’m not so interested in. Also sensitivity is not an appreciated trait in today´s society as you know, but I’ve found my people now by the age of 32 and happy for that 🙂
        You have a very nice blog, I will definitely read more here.
        It´s crazy to grow up with Narcissistic parents. Only my mother was Narcissist in my case, and my father who I also grew up with was her supporter and fan you could say. The supporter which she treated like a slave, and he agreed on everything. Very weird couple.
        Sorry for my bad English by the way, long since I wrote in English.
        Take care, and keep up the nice posts! ( If you want to see my chart I can mail it to you)
        Mila

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        • Thank you 🙂

          Your English is excellent.

          Is your chart posted on your blog?

          What you said about values ties in with Pluto in the 2nd, especially with it in Libra.

          There’s a file online which is an extensive collection of info from various astrologers on Pluto in signs and houses (the link is called ‘Pluto in the 1st house’ but it has more than that) – http://www.scribd.com/doc/31151867/1/Natal-Pluto-in-1st-House – if you look at the info about Pluto in Libra and in the 2nd, it gives an interesting perspective on the issues connected to values, the personal versus those of others.

          What made me ask about your Pluto was because you said – “Take care, we can survive this” – at the end of your previous comment and that’s a very Pluto thing to say. You also mentioned that your mother almost destroyed your life, and it had that vibe of lively primal energy coursing through the veins of the words. Pluto is always almost getting destroyed, but it always survives, and becomes stronger because of the experience.

          So I would say that for all your deeply Neptune/Moon/Venus gentle sensitivity, you have an innate strength to balance it out, the energies are working together really well, your softness is the kind which knows how to look after itself. The sensitivity has fierce claws, however you keep them sheathed until you are pushed to the edge.

          Gemini is a sign which adapts and changes, so people will probably always find you an enigma, heightened by the Virgo rising which is a Sphinx, and Moon in Virgo squaring Sun/Mercury – you will always mystify, however this can be inspiring to others, the mystery which invites exploration, and through exploring the discovery of new things. IN some ways you may be a guardian of a threshold for others, but first they must pass a test, answer a riddle.

          I love your About page, and shall enjoy delving into your blog, thank you very much for sharing 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  9. I am Aquarius Virgo Rising with Uranus and Pluto conjunct my ascendant having the exact transit as you!….I just don’t know who i am anymore very depressing….it feels like i have no power…Blah….

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    • Thank you for sharing 🙂

      Sounds like perhaps transiting Neptune, and transiting Saturn may be culprits in how you are feeling. This is an interesting insight into that – http://www.bluelightlady.com/blog/2015/04/saturn-in-sagittarius-and-neptune-in-pisces-form-and-formlessness/

      There’s also transiting Jupiter in Leo to consider, as it may be opposing your Sun, expanding issues of the house which opposes the house where your ego feels at home. Jupiter is usually considered lucky, however if it’s opposing a major natal position there may be some exaggerated sense of push me/pull you. You want to push ahead, but something pulls you back. Something seems to be pushing you out of your comfort zone, but you want to pull back into safety. This is an intriguing take on this transit – http://rubyslipper.ca/2015/04/jupiter-direct-in-leo-the-better-place/

      A feeling of lack of power often means re-examining our relationship to power, to our power sources. It’s very transiting Pluto in Capricorn, undermining our present foundations because they need us to take a long hard look at them, perhaps to restructure them, and maybe even do so in a sudden break from old ways – transiting Uranus in Aries – which will leave us without stable ground beneath our feet.

      Is your Pluto/Uranus conjunction in the 1st? If it is then not knowing who you are, feeling powerless, should be a familiar feeling and cycle, one which precedes an inner death and then rebirth of a new form of self, of being.

      I’m feeling a similar feeling, but it’s slightly mitigated by t-Pluto being conjunct my Sun and t-Uranus being conjunct my Saturn, squaring my Sun. There’s a certain pressured sense that I have to wait the feeling out and squash my intense restlessness and boredom with myself and how things are. There’s like a voice saying – Wait… wait… wait for it… wait… we’re nearly there but not quite, put up with this a bit longer…

      When you feel powerless… just go with it. Fighting it will only make it worse. Find a way to befriend the darkness, see what it has within it for you. Having no power… accepting that… can be a way to discover a different kind of power. Not knowing who you are anymore can be a way to discover who you really are. Your core.

      I’ve faced many times in life when I felt that I was nothing, no one, meant nothing, and nothing I did had any meaning… those times felt awful, but once I relaxed into them… let myself fall into a void… stuff happened. Not all at once, but with Uranus conjunct Pluto (and with you conjunct Asc) life is lived in extremes. One moment you’re nothing falling through empty space, you feel like you’re dad or dying, and the next moment… stuff is happening and you’re caught up in it, alive and living.

      So… don’t worry. Blah is blah until suddenly it is not anymore and you’re fast forgetting it… until the next time.

      My fav quote:

      “Let everything happen to you
      Beauty and terror
      Just keep going
      No feeling is final”

      ― Rainer Maria Rilke

      You’ll be fine… but first you’ll be anything but fine.

      You’re a Uranus/Pluto conjunct… your power is intense, but sometimes it is intensely absent. Keep going… it will be back!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I just wanted to say I literally stopped breathing when I read the beginning of this text. I could’ve written this, at least the parts of your father’s death… My father died exactly a week ago, and, just like you, I’ve been estranged from him for years only meeting him every once and a while. That’s partly because I’ve lived with foster parents for 12 years (I turned 17 a month ago) and partly because of my own will. Lately, we were slowly getting better – and then he died. My foster father told me and my little sister and brother in a very cold way (“he’s dead, but everyone dies and that’s the deal”) and I could not understand it.

    Then I remembered my interest for astrology, and for the last 5 days I’ve been self-studying every minute I’ve had the chance to. When I was interpreting my own birth chart, and finding out what does it mean to have this-and-this planet in this-and-this room, I slowly realised my chart has relatively lot of crisis in it (most of it childhood and family related). Somehow I ended up calculating my transits and they’re exactly the same as in here: Pluto in my 4th house and Uranus in 8th.

    I’m the only one I know in this age having this much interest in astrology and other things like it. That too may have something to do with my birth chart… At least I know there’s an unknown logic connecting everything. It’s not always word-for-word interpretable (is that a word?), but how else would they have known?

    I feel sad not only because of his death, but also because of the fact that I could’ve prepared for ‘something’ if I had checked my transits only 8 days earlier.

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    • Thank you for sharing 🙂

      Wow. My condolences. And to have the news delivered so starkly. Such a shock of sorrow and sudden cold. I think even with a warning from looking at your transits, it is very difficult to prepare for the death of someone in your life. And if they died when you were distant from them, it can all seem unreal.

      It took me a while before I could trust the news, and accept that he had actually died. I went around in this strange limbo, uncertain of what to think or feel, and I didn’t feel much at first because I’d mourned the end of my relationship with him a long time before, so this was very strange. I also felt kind of obliged to put on a front because other people don’t know what to say or do when they know your parent has died, so much of the time immediately after a parent’s death is taken up with everyone acting weirdly around you and you trying to make them feel comfortable, telling them you’re fine and stuff. The whole thing is a strange experience, and things sink in slowly, time moves slowly.

      I’m in my 40’s and mortality becomes something you’re aware of as you get older, my father was old and ill, but it still seemed unreal at times. I’m guessing the cold way your foster father announced the news is down to him not knowing how to deliver it, and probably not wanting to ‘deal’ with it. Death makes people act strangely due to being uncomfortable with it, and all the hidden things inside which is stirs up.

      At 17 the death of a parent is the last thing you imagine happening. It can hit hard, even if your relationship isn’t a close one. The ties which bind are often felt more strongly when they are severed.

      Astrology can be very useful in making sense of life, and death, and being. Reading your chart can help to work through many aspects of living and being human. It can pinpoint areas where you may have the most trauma and issues, and sometimes it can show a way to figure things out. I don’t use it in a predictive manner so I don’t know how accurate it can be when used that way, but some astrologers do seem to be able to give an idea of what’s likely to happen, but rarely what exactly will happen.

      Even though you weren’t prepared, it sounds as though you are dealing with it as best as you can, and that you are strong and resilient. Let yourself grieve in whatever way nurtures you, and allow yourself to be inspired by your sadness. Being sad can be an intensely beautiful and inspiring experience. Death always brings with it something new, as though giving a gift for causing pain, something to help at a time when that help is most needed. Perhaps that is astrology for you, and who knows where your renewed interest will lead.

      There is a logic to everything, invisible strands which connect and make music sometimes.

      Take good care of yourself 🙂

      Like

  11. Hi Upturned. One of my cats died a couple months ago. Then my mother died unexpectedly 6 weeks ago (although I think she knew it was coming). Now my other cat is dying. I’m fresh in the wound of losing my mother, we were not estranged but had a complex relationship. I have a mess to deal with. Transiting Uranus, like you, is moving through my 8th house (cusp of my 8th is 16 Aries). My mother was an astrologer and I’ve naturally been looking at my chart and hers, but sadly without her input. At any rate, I enjoyed reading your post as I contemplate this Uranus/Pluto situation in my own life. I have to get my astrology connections from new places now.

    Like

    • Thank you very much for sharing 🙂

      My condolences. That is truly a very difficult experience to have, so much loss all at once. It can be very disorienting for the mind and heart to come to terms with, as losing those we love can stir up more than the grief which comes with loss.

      Have you ever read the work of Elizabeth Kubler Ross, she wrote about death, dying and grief, and created the 5 stages of grief. I found her work very helpful in coming to terms with dealing with loss, and not just the death of a loved one, but all the types of loss which come with living, and how they affect us on many levels.

      I have also found astrology of great solace, as it helps us to give shape to our experiences and figure things out in a gentle manner. There are some good astrologers online who have blogs which I read regularly. I’ll give you a few links, just in case you want to check them out.

      http://rubyslipper.ca/ruby-slipper-astrology/ – she does a lot of posts about the effects of the latest transits.

      http://juliedemboski.com/ – she is very insightful in her work, and also writes about the effects of recent transits.

      http://realastrologers.com/blog/ – this is an intriguing blog as she writes about transits not just from a personal angle but also their effects on society, politics, etc.

      This is a blog I’ve only recently started reading and I like the astrologer’s different perspective – http://www.loveyourdesign.com/blog/

      This is an interesting post, I don’t know much about the astrologer – http://www.insightastrology.net/current-transits/working-with-difficult-transits/

      One of my fav astro books is Pluto: The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul by Jeff Green. Very insightful for dealing with natal and transit Pluto stuff.

      While you’re exploring the Pluto/Uranus transit, it’s worth also looking at transiting Neptune in Pisces, Jupiter in Virgo (esp. if it is transiting your 12th house), and Saturn in Scorpio (soon to be in Sag).

      Remember that those who die, never really die because they are within us, and we honour them through living and being inspired by what they gave us while they were alive, and what they give us when they die. I spent time with one of my cats when it was dying, this was many years ago when my cats were in some ways my only friends and source of love, and those last days we spent together were deeply transformative, my cat taught me a very intense lesson about life, love, and holding on even when we let go.

      Take good care of yourself!

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  12. Hi, very nice article 🙂

    If you ask me, Uranus through the 8th is a very significant transit. As significant as Saturn transiting 10th and 11th, as significant as Jupiter transiting 9th and 12th, Mars first and 8th.

    Don’t forget that Uranus is exalted in Scorpio. Issues of death, rebirth, inheritances, sex, tabboo, shared resources, gains through others, will hit you as thunderbolt.

    What would you expect from Saturn transiting 10th lol

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  13. Wow reading this article I felt like I was reading a story about my life I can relate to a lot of the things you talked about with your parents. Currently both of my parents are alive but I have Uranus in Aries transiting my 8th house and Opposing my Sun and Mercury in Libra, Saturn in Sagittarious is currently conjunct my Uranus in the 4th house, Jupiter will Enter into my 2nd house soon. Pluto is transiting my 5th house trining my moon in the 9th house and sextiling my saturn in the 3rd. But I can just relate to how I’m dealing with parents that have mental issues my dad has dealt with depression and suicide and drug addiction, my mom acts like a narcissist and also has perscription drug issues. My whole life I have felt like i’ve been stuck in the middle of them which is interesting that in my natal chart my Moon in Taurus is in oppisition with my Saturn in Scorpio and my Venus in Scorpio. With my North Node in Taurus I am learning to earn things myself and not rely on others in this lifetime especially my family so I am currently looking for a way to get my own place. Thank you for this article very interesting.

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    • Thank you for sharing 🙂

      Your natal Uranus in the 4th stands out as an added influence in your family life, as that placement would create an unusual and perhaps erratic experience of family and home life, and it would prompt a desire to break free from the way things are to find a place in the world which suits you, as Uranus is where we seek freedom to express our individuality.

      This is a write up about that – http://www.theastrologyplace.uk/2014/06/uranus-in-4th-house.html

      With Saturn transiting your 4th and conjuncting your Uranus, it’s a good time to bring your vision of personal freedom into reality. A Saturn transit can feel harsh, because it requires understanding the structure of things, of ourselves, our lives, and it sometimes dismantles what is there, however it always leaves us with a greater sense of grounding. It wants us to find out what really matters and what doesn’t, and use that knowledge to build our own life on solid foundations. Since Saturn is in Sagittarius, Jupiter’s transit will tie in with Saturn and bring some luck and fortune, and in the 2nd Jupiter will amplify your personal values. So what you’ve been doing with your North Node may come to fruition over the next few years.

      The way you get your own place may be unusual, and may involve a leap of faith in yourself. Perhaps it will be connected to Pluto’s transit of your 5th, and the aspects it is making. Having a natal Saturn/Moon aspect can be challenging, your emotions may feel as though they’re always restricted in some manner, Pluto touching both of those with harmonious aspects may help to release and transform your emotional landscape.

      Sounds like you’re experiencing an intense set of transits, and from the way you express yourself, there’s a beautiful focus within. You know yourself well, understand your life and know where you want to go, what you want to do, the transits in your chart support that. There’s an awesome adventure ahead.

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  14. A 1970 vintage like myself I presume? Very nice post, also have Virgo rising so can relate to almost everything you write. Have Uranus just about to hit my natal Mars in the eighth house. Good luck mate.

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    • Yes, same generation 🙂

      T-Uranus conjuncting natal Mars – Wow! That’s going to be one hell of a ride! Should be good if you remember that Uranus does its best work for and on us when we allow ourselves to go a little wild and crazy in pursuit of freedom (Virgo rising should keep a rein on things, esp. with Jupiter transiting the sign atm).

      Have you had your Uranus opposition Uranus yet – that, for me, was awesome. I felt totally drunk for most of it and rather enjoyed it 😉

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