It was fun, yet within the fun was wisdom to be gleaned. Although its main focus was on romantic relationships, I think it also applies to all relationships. It outlined certain astrological aspects which were ones most likely to cause the person with those aspects to behave in a deceptive manner in relationships. It also pointed out that the person being deceptive was not necessarily aware and conscious of the fact that they were being deceptive.
The thing about deception is that a large portion of it is unconscious. The deceiver is unaware that they are acting in a deceptive way, perhaps because they themselves are also deceived, they believe what they are saying and doing, or they truly want to believe what they are saying and doing.
Our society encourages us to be whomever we want to be, to think and believe something and that way it will become true. Be positive and you will attract positive things. To create ourselves, bend and twist ourselves until we become our desired self rather than accept that we may have limitations on who we can actually be. In fact considering that we have limitations is deemed to be highly negative and has to be avoided at all costs.
So it seems logical that most deception starts with us, and it ends with us. To be deceived you have to participate in the deception. Wishful thinking is always most eager to believe, and reluctant to disbelieve. We hope that what we are being told and shown is true, because we need it to be so to fulfill a desire or fantasy of our own. We want to be loved, so a person who tells us they love us has our attention and taps into our imagination.
I have a friend who has one of the aspects mentioned in the article. They go through relationships like the cookie monster goes through cookies. They keep hoping to meet the one, their prince charming soulmate, and keep thinking they have, but all the ones they meet are princes who turn into frogs. There is nothing wrong with the princes, other than the fact that as they get to know my friend they want to deepen the relationship, take it out of the airy fairytale bubble of magical beings in love, to real humans getting to know each other, the good and the bad and all the inbetween. This is when my friend freaks out, and decides that the prince has turned into a warty slimy frog.
They see themselves as a magical being, that’s final, they do not want to be a real human with all the ugly reality they attach to being human. So they reset themselves and start over. Ditch the frog and set out to find a prince. They do something very similar with their friendships. They cease communicating with a friend when the friends turns ‘negative’ or ‘ugly’, and wait until the friend has become ‘positive’ and magically beautiful again. I don’t know why my friend does this, I can guess, but that guess could be wrong, the reason I don’t know is because any kind of intimacy scares the shit out of them. They fear not being able to control the image and impression others have of them. They want others to see them only as they want to be seen and as they desire to see themselves.
Intimacy means revealing your real self, and the real self may not be as beautiful and magical as the ideal self. I disagree, but I’m not allowed to disagree with my friend, this might shatter their fairytale world. I think that the most beautiful part of a human is when they reveal all of themselves, the light and the dark, the beautiful and the ugly, the good and the bad, because for one side to exist, it needs the other… and sometimes their version of ugly is my version of stunningly beautiful, and so on. Revealing all of yourself to another is an act of incredible courage.
I don’t want to change my friend, they are lovely as they are, I just wish the relationship could move beyond the point of reset, because going around in a perpetual circle which isn’t a spiral is… not really getting us anywhere. But if you love someone, you accept them with all their human bits and pieces because we all have them even if we believe ourselves to be made of magic alone. I have observed this friend for many years, or what feels like many years, and I can predict the moment that they reset themselves, it seems to coincide with when transiting Mercury crosses over certain points in their chart, especially the ascendant.
I have half of one of the romantically deceptive aspects, Pluto in the 1st house, but my Pluto is in Virgo, not Libra. I do draw very intense relationships into my life, and I am invariably transformed by each and every one. However I do not dump people once they have helped to transform me, they usually dump me because I am no longer the person they first met, I’ve changed, they haven’t. They feel that they have been deceived, even if one of the first things I tell new people who enter my life is that I am changeable and consistently inconsistent. They don’t believe me, thus they deceive themselves. This has always affected me deeply, but I accept that relationships are fluid, and come and go. Those who stay have a very special place in my heart and life.
Everything I do and experience changes me, who I am, thus everything I do changes. If you look at my blogs, my Twitter, the tweets and posts I write, they change as I change. Which is why I never expect those who follow any of my social media creations to stick around for very long, because what they followed may not be what they are still following. Those that stay are those who understand and appreciate that people can actually change, although fundamentally they are still who they are, at a core level. Or they followed and never check what I’m actually doing. Some of the changes are very subtle, and the only reason I notice them is because I watch myself closely. Others may not see what I see, I do not expect them to, in fact I expect people to be as fascinated with themselves as I am with myself, after all the most important relationship in our lives is the one we have with ourselves, for many reasons, one of them being that all our other relationships are intrinsically tied in with how we relate to ourselves.
And we do deceive ourselves a lot. Sometimes we are aware of it, sometimes it is at a subconscious level. Sometimes it is a matter of survival. Sometimes it is our imagination inspiring us. Sometimes it is just a little white lie designed to ease the tumult of life. To not hurt feelings. To just get along, when not getting along seems to be our default position. To smile and say we’re fine, even if we’re not, because… Humans are complex, to expect otherwise is… a wishful thinking deception.