The Benefits of Having Sex Daily (otherwise known as Dyslexia)

tictoc_by_moonvoodoo-d68v704

TicToc by MoonVooDoo

I make myself laugh, especially when I catch myself doing something silly. I was trying to write a post about dyslexia the other day, about some of the benefits and gifts which it confers rather than the brain glitches, and the post just kept getting longer and longer because I kept adding things which occurred to me as I wrote and the original concept slowly disappeared under many others. I solved this problem by splitting the post in several posts, which I wasn’t planning on posting as a series, but writing them all and then choosing the clearest of them all. I had about six files open, decided none of them were quite right, so I started a new one in which I planned to put the best bits of the other posts. As I stared at the blank cyber page, my mind went blank too. I suddenly doubted my knowledge of dyslexia. I made a mental note to self to double check the symptoms and characteristics of it later.

The post I wrote instead was about thorns of inspiration, and the blessings of a curse. Things which poke and prod us to investigate further, to seek knowledge, and things which seem like a curse but hold a blessing within them. As I wrote, part of my attention was still with dyslexia.

Recently I have been having mini epiphany after mini epiphany. They are very tiny little sparks of understanding revealed. Several have been connected to dyslexia. I suddenly realised that some of the aspects of the condition which really get on my nerves are the source of some of my traits which I value highly.

I feel that I should explain dyslexia to those who may be reading this and don’t have it, because there are quite a few misconceptions about it. However explaining things is not my forte as I tend to over explain things to death. It’s a so-called symptom of dyslexia. I doubt my mind a lot, question my own knowledge and check and double check and triple check ad nauseum to make sure that I have the correct information. I apply what I do for myself to passing on information to others, which is why I over explain things, just in case the other person needs more information, just to be sure, to dot the i’s and cross the t’s. That is why my wanting to double check the symptoms and characteristics of dyslexia, even though I have it and live it every day of my life, made me laugh. I just wanted to be sure, even though I am sure.

The thing is that just by reading any of my posts, including this one – sorry, stating the obvious is part of dyslexia, as I often miss the obvious while focusing on the less obvious, and sometimes when I think something is obvious I am surprised to find other people have missed it, so I’m never really certain what is obvious and what is less obvious or not obvious at all – shows you exactly how the dyslexic mind works, they take you inside of it. It explains why my posts are so long, why sometimes they have too much information crammed into them, why I sometimes repeat the same thing over and over again ramming a point home, why they can be confusing to the reader, why my use of words and sentence structure is the way it is – if I tried to be grammatically correct, I wouldn’t write posts at all, and if I did, they would seem like they were written in code.

The main thing anyone without dyslexia needs to know about it is that it is not an aberration of the brain, it is how the brain is wired.

As a child I used to have a recurring dream about a mechanism with turning cogs. The cogs would occasionally miss a connection, there would be a sudden jarring sound as the mechanism juddered, metal ground awkwardly against metal, and I would wake up in anguish. That was the only nightmare I ever had that I can recall, but it was so gut-wrenching that I have never forgotten how it made me feel. What made it worse somehow was that everything was pink, a shade very similar to the colour of the brain.

My interpretation of that dream is simple, it was a subconscious representation of the workings of my brain. I intuitively knew that as a child, but it did not register with me until much later when I realised that my brain did not work the same way as everyone else. I did not have a mental disability until I was told that I had one. I thought my brain was normal, and it is for me. In fact those without dyslexia appear to be a bit off, and slightly slow to me because they don’t always understand what I am saying. I realise now that this is my fault, their brains are correctly wired, and mine is the one with the faulty wiring… according to them. Majority rule. If the dyslexic mind was the majority, things would be very different. And although superficially I play the part of the one with the dopey brain, frankly every time I see a non-dyslexic make a clumsy joke about dyslexia, I realise that dopiness of the membrane is not exclusive to dyslexia.

“Dyslexics of the world untie – will always make me laugh because the first fifty times I read it, I didn’t see the joke.” – UrsusAbstrusus

That’s my Twitter account, and my version of a dyslexic joke.

More about the benefits of having sex daily in my next post… I’ve decided to go with the series of posts option.

13 comments

  1. Hi Ursula, You have dyslexia & despite that you are an outstanding writer who really can express her inner voice perfectly & poetically,
    What an inspiration for all struggle with dyslexia which presents challenges in so many ways. You have overcome more than most will ever have to even endure during their lifetime.
    I have a child with a LD and I run a support group for parents to address the issues connected with these challenges. The group, is sort of like your blog, in that parents learn alot from other parents and offer each other support. LDs are very misunderstood by many & it can be a frustrating journey finding help.
    You’re a fighter & an inspiration in so many ways!

    THE BENEFITS OF HAVING SEX DAILY (OTHERWISE KNOWN AS DYSLEXIA) <<<<——– Very FUNNY!

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    • Thank you πŸ™‚

      I’m answering my comments backwards… which kind of goes with my dyslexia πŸ˜‰ …so you may get this reply before I reply to earlier comments. I’m very tired at the moment so my brain is a bit jumbled.

      I think in some ways having dyslexia has helped me with dealing with narcissists. Both things have confusion as a common denominator. Learning to deal with my dyslexia has rippled into dealing with narcissists – dyslexia makes for a good lie detector as I have to review things, triple-check, to make sure I’ve understood them. Once I think I’ve understood things I get very stubborn. Being stubborn with a narc works quite well in counteracting some of their nonsense.

      There are gifts in all things which appear to be ‘curses’. All disabilities have flip sides – abilities which a person would not have if they did not have a disability. And some disabilities are only disabilities to those who don’t have them.

      The brain, in particular, tends to compensate. I saw an interesting documentary which featured a scientist who had a stroke which debilitated their logical mind, they had to quit their career and let go of the life they had had before, which completely unsettled them for a time, however the flip side was that it ‘activated’ their creative mind and opened up a whole new way of being, thinking and experiencing life for them, and they eventually made a new career in the arts.

      One of the more frustrating aspects of having something which is considered a ‘disability’ – and it’s only a disability because those who have it are in a minority, if, say those with dyslexia were the majority then it would be normal and not having it would be viewed as a disability – is interacting with those who don’t have it, don’t understand it, and who think that the way they are is ‘normal’ and the way you are is ‘abnormal’ and they expect you to do your utmost to be ‘normal’. So rather than being allowed to embrace the way you are and work with it in a positive way, see what it offers, you have to adopt their prejudices about the way that you are, you end up working against what you have trying to have what you don’t have, and so you view what you do have negatively. Unless you have supportive people around you who encourage you to discover your own way, to appreciate who you are as you are, and help you to develop your ‘ability’.

      Strangely enough my mother actually helped me with my dyslexia – because she recognised it early (I used to write backwards) and she had it too. She encouraged me to love reading, used to test and quiz me before I went to school and during school holidays – it could be a bit too much and she was hyper-critical, especially about my pronunciation. And she did eventually find me a special school which let children learn at their own pace – which helped enormously with math. I have less trouble with letters than I do with numbers – those things move, wriggle and jiggle and who-tf thought it was a good idea to have interchangeable numbers like 2 & 5 and 6 & 9. And 7 & 1 in certain types are the same number πŸ˜‰ Sometimes I suspect ‘abled’ people are ‘disabled’ by not having a ‘disability’ as they don’t have the challenge to push them beyond their comfort zone.

      Some of the dyslexia jokes are funny. Some show that the person making the joke does not understand dyslexia at all. The biggest joke of course is calling something like dyslexia – dyslexia. I get why, but really!?!

      Certain aspects of dyslexia are similar to Asperger’s. Most people with ‘disabilities’ flourish un the right environment and wither in the wrong one – which applies to everyone, ‘abled’ or ‘disabled’.

      I want to ask you what LD you child has, but you might not want to share that publicly. People can be… trying to think of a diplomatic way of saying it… insensitive. I had an incident on here a while ago which prompted a rant post from me about being considerate, especially where children are concerned. Surely it doesn’t need saying… but apparently sometimes it does!

      Thank you for sharing, as always β™₯

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      • So glad your mom did help you with this. Luckily she understood from her own experience. Sounds like you did get much of the needed support that was ultimately able to help you become who you are in this aspect.
        There is still alot of need for support out there. Disability rights have come along way in the educational system The mainstream schools are in reality still not set up for students with different needs. The help they get is clumped together and not really suited to help their specific diagnosis. I have witnessed alot of misunderstanding about LDs.
        I agree that having a disability like a LD is dependent on how you look at it. In some situations its not a disability at all. In those you despise the stigma of the word disability. In other situations you are grateful that it is defined that way so people can understand the gravity of your struggles.
        Also the disability I refer to in my family is ADD. this one can effect style of learning in some more than others, It also is on a continuum and can be more or less impeding in some life aspects. You cant talk to one person about it & think your experience will be the same. It wont. That also makes it frustrating . Interestingly, I do find in so many cases , people with LDs have a very strong talent or calling . It is often an outstanding ability that separates them I do love stories of people who have overcome the odds of their struggles. Its inspirational for everyone.
        Thank you for sharing this part of your journey. πŸ™‚

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        • I agree. Being able to put a label on something does bring relief, and is often useful. There’s a flip side to everything.

          I met someone a while ago who was very pleased that they had been officially diagnosed with dyslexia because having a disability came with ‘perks’ and they wanted to use their official diagnosis in a way which sounded rather questionable. Their attitude was one of – how can I use this to manipulate things and other people for my benefit – rather than – gosh I’m relieved, now I know what I have and have access to information and resources which can help me in a productive and positive manner. They were sort of already doing that with me – they did not know that I had dyslexia because I don’t normally tell people unless it is relevant and even then it is often pointless, the important thing is that I know I have it – and so I told them I also had it, which seemed to irritate them as though they were the only one allowed to have it.

          I must admit I did question their diagnosis. They described every part of the test you have to take to be diagnosed and certain things sounded odd/off about their answers, particularly one thing which is usually common in all those with dyslexia. When I pointed that out, they immediately changed their story to include the thing I pointed out. Hmmm. But as you said, each person is different and how the LD manifests will be different too. Dyslexia like all the other disabilities has a spectrum, and it’s a collective term.

          There are some parallels between ADD and dyslexia. I can understand the frustration. It’s frustrating to have it, especially when trying to communicate with those who don’t have as sometimes it’s like speaking a foreign language. And it’s frustrating if you don’t have it for similar reasons and because you’re sort of powerless to help the person who has it – support and understanding is always deeply appreciated.

          In a learning situation – when I’m learning and someone else is teaching – I often try to explain how I learn. Saying I have dyslexia is not always the best tactic as some people equate it with being stupid or have no idea what that means and so they don’t register it. So I try to gently nudge them to show me rather than tell me – I can pick things up quickly in visual and hands on form. Verbal teaching makes it harder for me to focus and visualise. This is actually quite a useful side of dyslexia, particularly when I’m with someone who uses talking as a method of manipulation but doesn’t control what they do or does sweet FA as for them talking is their only action.

          There’s a flip side to everything.

          Thank you for sharing your journey too – sharing is a very powerful action πŸ™‚

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          • You have gift of being able to articulate this well & break it down for someone so they can have a better grasp about it. And about your own needs. I noticed how you said part of your strategy was having to triple check yourself. That takes insight , self awareness & lots of discipline. . I hope you realize & recognize your inner strength.You are able to compensate & get a better balance. That is a huge feat. Not everyone gets to that point. Identifying your own learning modality strength is very important. Like you said , you are hands on. Once you figure that out , it is much easier to progress & have teachers help you etc. Thank goodness there is also now so much electronic assistive technology for all people with LDs to help compensate for a variety of issues.

            That s a strange story about the person who did not come across as genuine. Go figure. (:

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            • I like to give people the benefit of the doubt… and sometimes I see the benefit in doubting πŸ™‚

              Overall I think we live in very progressive times where adapting to different learning styles, LD’s, is concerned. There’s a lot of awareness and understanding and less prejudice. So, we’re getting there to a place where we all feel more at ease and able to do things at our own pace. The internet has been a great blessing for things like that.

              I like to be aware of what I can do and what I can’t do, of strengths and weaknesses, as everything has value, and knowing what is of value makes it easier to pass it on and point it out. When we recognise our talents, we also can see talents in others and encourage them πŸ™‚

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  2. I tremendously enjoyed looking at your gallery on Deviant Art . It was so good that it really cheered up my day. . I like your choices for special effects on your artwork – it is very engaging. I also like the way you use color & creativity which add lots of interest and works well.
    My favorites from your collection are your self portraits. They really pop. So many statements, and ways of presenting yourself in seemingly unending creative ways. Its interesting captivating and artful. In your self portraits , you have a beautiful ethereal quality & energy to you and very feminine beauty I also see an inner spark & strength in you that comes across in your self portraits .. Just lovely !!

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    • Thank you very much πŸ™‚

      I enjoy experimenting, and it’s a fun form of self-expression. Most of the self portraits aren’t self portraits per se, I don’t see them as me, I see them as concepts in visual form using myself as a model to express whatever idea I was trying to express πŸ˜‰ I don’t really feel comfortable yet using other people for what I’m doing with the photography because… of many reasons.

      Funny thing is that until I started doing what I’m doing now, I hadn’t taken a picture of myself other than for practical purposes and I wasn’t too keen on anyone else taking my photo unless it was absolutely necessary. It’s a fun way to get to know yourself because you’re both model and cameraman, observed and observer. Taking the images into photoshop and experimenting with filters and image adjustments is also quite a trip into perception and creativity.

      Do you have a creative hobby or something of that sort in which you unleash your creativity?

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      • “Most of the self portraits aren’t self portraits per se, I don’t see them as me, I see them as concepts in visual form using myself as a model to express whatever idea I was trying to express”- Yes I distinctly got that impression, just couldn’t articulate it back to you.in those words πŸ™‚
        That so interesting how you are taking all the roles in the process and getting it done so well. Do you find that in other parts of you life that when you want something done right its just easier to do it yourself than to have to explain to others what you want? I do that alot. .
        I practice guided meditation to alleviate stress & to get insights , as I mentioned to you. I dont have any talents for artsy stuff, but I do enjoy doing crafty stuff as an outlet for my creativity .Did you take photography courses or are you self taught?

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        • I prefer working alone when I do something, not because it’ll necessary be done right (it probably won’t especially if I’m taking something apart to fix it) but because I don’t have to factor in anyone else, so I don’t have to figure out if they can or can’t do what they said they can do and whether I can rely on them to fulfill their side of things. However I do enjoy the concept of teamwork, putting it into practice is harder πŸ˜‰

          I live with a professional photographer, so I have an in-house teacher (whom I can drive crazy with questions and how inept I can be at times). He’s very encouraging, all of this started out because he gave me his old camera and pushed me to explore.

          Crafts is art. What sort of crafts do you do?

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          • Your partner sounds like a great person who supports you and also knows to give you plenty of space when you need it . Its great that he encouraged you –as this led to the start of your amazing creations ! You deserve happiness and peace -sounds like you are at a point of your life where you are enjoying these things that really you always deserved but did not have early on.
            Photography is interesting on many levels. All the more with some talented photographers. A family member of mine took photography classes & I loved watching the process, vicariously. Theres always a new adventure with it. I think that’s what makes it great. You expressed that adventure feeling in your gallery.
            I only do crafts for things that catch my interest and my desire to craft them- like wreaths – things like that. Sometimes I copycat home decor items that I saw but choose to craft and put my own spin on & do it more economically. Its more of whim thing than a hobby for me. :).
            I read that you are house hunting. I have been there & that is a true adventure! You do learn alot from the process. You have wants and needs and in the end your intuition lets you know when it the right one. Hope its going well!

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            • One of the things I love about photography is that you learn to look at things differently, and so many things that seemed ordinary become fascinating. I found a random piece of plastic on the ground the other day, normally I’d have picked it up and put it in the bin, but I had my camera with me so I looked at it differently, there were dew drops on it glistening in the sun and they looked like gems, and when I got up very close I saw a tiny spider had woven it into its web. πŸ™‚

              I admire people who create beautiful things for their homes and decorate it with handmade creations. It always looks so individual and inviting. The home becomes a work of art in its entirety. I admire it even more because I’m not talented in that department. I find making things too fiddly and I lose patience.

              I do sometimes dumpster dive, people throw out amazing treasures and sometimes all they need is a small bit of TLC to breathe life back into them!

              There was a segment on an astrology blog I used to visit a lot a while back which took a pic of an interior of someone’s house then tried to guess which sign would live there. Like this – http://mysticmedusa.com/2010/07/astro-decor-whose-bedroom-is-this/ It’s an intriguing way of playing with astrology and decor, and personality and taste and such.

              Life is indeed an adventure πŸ˜€

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              • I do try to make my home welcoming with my crafting I guess the whole home is a work of art when you look at it that way. I also LOVE finding treasures at secondhand shops and places like that. It is my biggest hobby- my guilty pleasure. I used to do more dumpster diving in my younger years than I do now , but yes you can find awesome stuff that way.

                (:

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