A Story of Chiron in the 7th House

Why do some wounds never heal? They may appear to do so, but something happens and once again they bleed, cause pain, urge us to suffer once more. There must be a purpose for this. Perhaps the wound itself is such an important aspect of who we are that if it healed completely we would lose that part of us. Perhaps the wound itself is a source of healing for other wounds, an inspiration which we would miss if it was gone.

We often try to escape pain by hiding from it, ignoring it, masking it, yet it is nature’s way of signalling to us that something is wrong and needs our attention and administration.

My natal Chiron, the wounded healer, is in the 7th house. The house of relationships, partnerships, close contacts, other people. My wound which never heals is other people.

So many self help gurus, therapists, and spiritual teachers tell us that we should own our wounds and not blame anyone else for them. It makes sense, to a degree. To heal a wound you have to own it, thus owning the power over it, blame gives power to others, and thus leaves your healing in their hands. Yet blame is part of the healing process as well as being an element of the wounding process. If you blame yourself for everything and do not assign any blame to anyone else, you end up victimising yourself, and this leaves you just as powerless as when you assign all of the blame to the other person. But. What if this particular dynamic is the wound itself.

In all my encounters with therapists, healers, and such, I have always ended up sitting quietly listening to them tell me about their problems. I learn all about them while they learn nothing about me, except maybe that I’m a good listener as I now know they are wounded, I know what their wound is, I can see that it is the inspiration for why they have become a healer, and I can see that I am playing a part in their healing. My healing is their path to healing, but not necessarily my path to healing too, in fact it is often a detour. This becomes a problem for me, because my healing will become something I do to please them rather than to help myself. My role as patient is a disguise for my role as healer.

Role reversal is one of the patterns of my life and of this wound, giving to others who in theory should be giving to me, but in practice are taking from me in the guise of giving. If I complain, stand up for myself, point out the facts of the situation, then I am branded as difficult, ungrateful, or too fucked up. No matter what I do or how I handle the scenario I inevitably end up being the baddie so that the other person can play the part of the goodie.

This is clearly reflected in my chart and the aspects to Chiron therein. My Chiron is in Pisces and it opposes my natal Pluto in Virgo, Uranus in Libra, and Jupiter in Libra. The wound of me versus others is there in full view, the 7th house of others opposing the 1st house of self. They are both loaded. Chiron is conjunct my North Node. Therefore the wound is doubled, and the need to solve it is a matter of life and death in many ways. At least that’s how Pluto sees it. Every time its energy has to be stifled in the first to please another, it is experienced as a small death of self giving life to the other. Uranus is obsessed with freedom, and feels trapped by any restriction to the self whatsoever. Jupiter encourages Uranus to break free… only do it fairly (Libra influence).

As much trouble as these three amigos cause in my relationships, by rearing up and challenging others in an attempt to break free from the feeling of self being crushed by the needs of the other, they are also the key to solving the problem. Pluto in Virgo is a fiend of self analysis, it’s retrograde in my chart so I like to take myself apart piece by piece to see what makes me tick. Uranus in Libra is a brilliant de-clutter bug, it sweeps away the mess Pluto has made in dismantling me, I don’t need it anyway, it’s been weighing me down, and what’s left is what matters. Jupiter breathes new life into what remains of me after the other two have finished. And voila! I’ve changed and am ready to face the next round of brutal and radical self healing.

I can offer a similar therapy to others due to having done this so often that I’m an expert, however it’s a bit too much, too brutal and radical, I realise that. However Chiron, especially as it is conjunct my North Node, and both of them are in Pisces, the archetype of the collective unconscious, insists that I must help others. Helping others is the healing within the wound, because in helping others I also help myself. The flip side of that is by hurting others, I hurt myself and make the wound worse.

The North Node represents the karmic lesson we have come to learn in this life. It is opposite the South Node which represents the karmic lesson we have already learned and bring with us to teach others. We are very comfortable with the South Node, and extremely uncomfortable with the North Node because it is the unknown that must become known and that is terrifying because we must venture out of our comfort zone into hostile territory. Hostile because all our fears of the unknown are lying in wait for us there.

The opposing dynamic of Virgo/Pisces is the problem and the solution. Virgo is the analyst and Pisces is the patient. Pisces is the guru and Virgo is the spiritual seeker. Balancing the energies of this dynamic leads towards finding the healing held within the wound.

For me, at least in my early years of living this pattern and experiencing my wound. Virgo was the silent sufferer, the martyr, who stoically had to listen to the endless whining of the Pisces damsel in constant emotionally dramatic distress. But also Pisces was the sensitive sensory soul who was constantly crushed by the knit-picking unrelenting criticism of the Virgo pedant.

As a child my mother switched roles with me, she became the child and I was given the role of parent. She needed, and it was my job to fulfill her needs. She was hungry, I fed her. She cried, I comforted. She bitched, moaned, whinged, complained, and I listened offering solace, advice, and a shoulder to cry on until the tears had worn my skin and bones away. I used to quietly sit there wondering if there would ever be a day when it would be my turn to voice my needs and have them met by another, or if I would always be the urn spilling supply into another’s cup, never having my cup filled. This experience taught me how to seek my own supply from within and not rely on others for my sustenance.

When my mother wasn’t playing the victim, she slid to the opposite end of the dynamic. She became the highly critical, expert on everything, poking, prodding, pinching, pointing out every flaw while maintaining an elevated position of Virgo perfection. Everything I was, did, said, was wrong. I was the scattered, confused, living in illusion and overly sensitive dreamer who needed to have all the bubbles I blew popped sharply, so that I would be brought into reality and made to see how ugly it was and how awful I was.

One of the dreams I kept secret, one of my bubbles I managed to protect from being popped, was the belief that once I was old enough to escape the reality my parents had created for me to live in I would find a true and lovely reality out in the real world. That bubble popped when I entered the real world and found that it was made up of millions upon millions of alternate realities none of which suited me or welcomed me with open arms. I eventually created my own and retreated into it. But it felt like a prison, so I emerged again.

I am going to end this here as I am spreading this wound out over several posts. On a final note in this one. Someone commented on one of my posts in which I was expressing how I experienced childhood that they were sorry that I had had such a crap childhood. I appreciate the sentiment… sort of. I am not looking for sympathy or pity. I’m fine as I am, and what I share in posts is my story, parts of my life which have shaped who I am. Some are ugly, some are beautiful, most are a blend of both. And that attitude I just expressed is one of the ways in which I piss others off. I yell help help then when someone offers help I push the hand away saying, no, it’s okay, I was just getting the yell out of my system, I’ll save myself thank you very much. Then I get annoyed because when I actually need someone’s help they don’t give it to me because they expect me to sort myself out. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t. Really annoying when I can’t do it on my own. Argh! This bloody wound!

Sharing is an important element of the wound of Chiron in the 7th house. I have benefitted from what others have shared with me, and I hope others will benefit from what I share with them. Within the wound lie healing energies, they may not heal the wound itself, but they may heal other wounds which also need healing and perhaps can be healed.

Care to share your Chiron wound?


  1. wow – you wrote this yesterday? I think you’re a bit younger than me but not much – ( I’m Oct 64) but I also have Chiron in Pisces in the 7th and I am experiencing my Chiron return atm. We have a lot in common around some of the childhood experiences and I’d love to have a cup of tea with you to debrief! πŸ™‚ keep being strong sis, thanks for sharing your inner world, and your revelations.
    The Chiron return ( when it comes for you ) is so powerful and beautiful – like being offered a way to heal the personal wound completely and individually. But I had to seek it, it would have been possible to run away, so easy, so I had to actively welcome the terrifying life confrontation of my deepest fears…. to release them! But oh, the freedom afterwards – the joy, openness and freedom. Finally I feel that life is truely once again open and unknown, not just externally but internally – I feel washed clean.
    I am so lucky I had some months to tap into a Saturnian energy ( transiting Saturn conjunct Sun ) , also not easy, but it did give me the focus to gain the practical skills i needed to get through this Chironic passage. GO SATURN!!!! woohoo! What an awesome energy when channelled correctly!
    My years previous to this 7th house Chiron return have been pretty hard, I suffered some depressions around being caught in cycles that I just couldn’t seem to break out of – by facing the return head on I think I have shocked my system to the extent I can find other ways to behave that won’t recreate the wound. ( Here’s hoping πŸ™‚
    However at the same time, these build up years still enabled me to do some amazing, explorative and unusual new things ( as they were also building up to my natal Chiron vs Pluto conjunct Uranus opposition.

    Now that I am ‘mature’ hahaha I realise that a great way to use my lifelong interest in Astrology is to give the energies somewhere to focus – if , for example, I have a heavy transit looming – how can I actively ( and for me artistically ) channel that energy into a project or experience? – to choose where to use the energy – rather than wait around for the energy to attach itself to some unconsciously fearful focus.

    THis knowledge has been such a heavenly gift – I offer it to you now my 7th house Chiron little sister – with all my blessings


    • Hi Karen, thank you for the gift of knowledge, it is deeply appreciated, namaste.

      Wow! I do love meeting another child of Pluto & Uranus in the 1st, it is always very exciting. It is like two wild and crazy forces of nature meeting and knowing that they can’t obliterate each other because they are of equal power πŸ˜‰ I would love to have a cup of tea and a debrief with you (especially as I checked out your website and you’re in New Zealand and that is a place I have always wanted to visit because I feel a connection with its energy). Your bio is stunning, you are stunning! I have deep admiration for you.

      I think that your Chiron return experience is blessed by the auspices of the Neptune in Pisces transit and its conjunction with Chiron, which brings deep spiritual beauty to the healing. My return is in about 5 yrs. I’m very curious to see what happens, hope it is as beautiful as yours.

      I completely agree about Saturn. I’ve had some battles in the past with its energy in my chart and its transits, but at the moment I am really enjoying its effects, perhaps because it is in mutual reception with transiting Pluto. It is also sitting on top of my Mars in Scorpio, taming my grrr πŸ˜‰

      I have come to the conclusion that those of our generation have been like sleepers in spy stories. That our Pluto/Uranus conjunction energy has been dormant, perhaps because it is so strong we needed time to get to grips with it, to transform ourselves first so that we can channel the energy out into the world, and this Uranus/Pluto square has awakened the dormant energy. Our time is now… for what exactly I don’t know yet. I also am beginning to wonder about Neptune’s role in the dynamic. I have to do more research. I think I’ve been so focused on Uranus & Pluto that I’ve forgotten Neptune. Happens a lot, part of the effect of Neptune, and I have it natally in the 3rd which definitely describes my mind. I’m on to something with this thought, but I’m not sure what it is yet… perhaps just an illusion, maybe not.

      Confronting fears and examining them is key to transformation, they have hidden gifts and powers which can only be accessed by going into them and moving through them. You seem to have this sussed, and I agree about finding the correct method of channeling the energy… sometimes the method finds us when the transit hits, sometimes we just have to wait and see, then take the leap into the unknown.

      Did the tough period before the Chiron return coincide with the Mid Life Crisis transits? Neptune square Neptune, Pluto square Pluto, and Uranus opposition Uranus?

      Thank you so much for sharing with me,

      Best wishes and blessings to you,

      ❀ Ursula


      • I agree with you on our generation being sleepers though i don’t think it’s because we needed time to come to grips with it. I’m willing to bet most if not all of us have been aware of it since we were young. We embodied it. And for that reason, the adults around us knew this and did everything they could to suppress this energy. My parents did. They (the elders) won’t admit it but I believe they are scared of us…hoping that we never wake up to what we as a generation came here to do along with our individual paths fueled by this incredible power. Why else after all this time, now about to experience the 4th of 7 exact squares of Uranus and Pluto and one still can not find decent info regarding the conjunction?! But Google Indigo Children and the like and you get tons of information.


        • That’s very intriguing. I hadn’t considered things from that perspective, thank you!

          I read an astrology article the other day about Pluto and generational influences and it struck me at the time when I reached the bit about the Pluto/Uranus conjunct generation that Uranus was not mentioned at all, which made what they said about the Pluto in Virgo generation a bit off as the period when Pluto merged energies with Uranus was glossed over, and Pluto was given the credit for Uranus’ influence, yet they mentioned other planets and their aspects to Pluto.

          I’m going to have to investigate this, my synapses are firing.


            • Uh Oh! My mind is in Neptune mode at the moment, things may get vague and… I’ve forgotten what else πŸ˜‰ Kidding, or am I?

              I want to check to see the astro of the generation before the Pluto/Uranus one, because I think it is relevant.

              I was thinking about something a friend, who is of our generation, said a while back about how when they were young they had a sense of something amazing about to happen in the world, then it didn’t and they felt disappointed and all their rebellious and radical energy and yearnings kind of went to sleep and they’ve never been able to awaken them again. They said that they have a feeling that they did not live up to their potential, but that they were never sure what exactly that potential was and what to do with it.

              I think it’s a clue to why our generation has perhaps not quite embodied the Pluto/Uranus energy in the way that perhaps we could have done, or perhaps it was waiting for the Pluto/Uranus square to happen. Since they are slow moving planets, perhaps their energy is on slow burn, and takes a long time to heat up?

              I use the word perhaps a lot… oh well!


  2. Hi Ursula! This is a wonderful post, I really enjoyed reading your story, your blog seems so intriguing, I can’t wait to explore it some more πŸ™‚
    I’ve never really looked into Chiron before, your post has made me want to! I know my Chiron is in the 1st house, which in my natal chart is Libra, I will definitely look into this, it sounds so interesting!
    Thank you so much for the follow! I look forward to reading more of your posts πŸ˜€
    Aaran (:


    • Hi Aaran, Thank you πŸ˜€
      Chiron is fascinating, I’ve only just started looking into it myself, but it does explain many things to me about myself. Worth exploring! WOW! Chiron in the 1st means that you embody and personify its qualities, as we do with any planet in the 1st. I wonder how it works for you? I’m intrigued to see what you find out.
      ❀ Ursula


      • So what would embodying and personifying its qualities mean exactly? It does seem pretty fascinating! When I find out more about it I will definitely post how it works for me! I love how there is always something else to look at with astrology, it never gets boring! Which is good because I’m a Gemini πŸ˜› haha


        • I agree πŸ˜€ There is always something else to look at with astrology (my Mercury in Aquarius loves that!) I adore exploring the mythology behind astrology, gives it a whole new dimension.

          I think that what you are doing with your blog, sharing your experience of astrology from a personal perspective may be a clue to Chiron in the 1st. Just a thought.

          Geminis are very intriguing! I’m a Capricorn… a throw out all your concepts of Capricorn type of Capricorn πŸ˜‰


          • Same here!! I was literally just looking at the story behind Lilith, it’s so intriguing and mysterious!
            Yeah maybe! That’s really perspective of you! I think I need to look really look into Chiron a lot more to find out everything about it. Hahah so what type of concepts are you going to throw out? πŸ˜‰ One of my closest friend is a Capricorn!


            • The throwing out concepts of Capricorn thing refers to my habit of getting annoyed at most interpretations of what a Capricorn is supposed be like. It rarely fits me. It also ties in with what I said about the first house, and embodying its sign… we also embody and personify the planets held in the 1st – so for you that would be Chiron and the Moon (and yes, the Moon in Libra amplifies your Libra side) – for me, I have Pluto and Uranus in the 1st, so I like to rebel against any labels, including the ones which go with my Sun sign. It’s funny though because recently I’ve noticed I am more of a Capricorn than I ever thought I was, perhaps because transiting Pluto is near my Sun and will conjunct it in a couple of years. So I may end up retrieving those concepts I keep throwing out about Cappy πŸ˜‰


              • So how do the Capricorn interpretations fit you? And how do you think they don’t?
                Capricorns are the sign I probably don’t know as well as the rest, although one of my best friends is a Capricorn, I’m not sure of the true nature of a Capricorn from inside them.
                Haha ohh okay! That makes sense, I have quite a few Uranus trines to my Sun, Moon and other stuff which makes me not like labels aswell πŸ˜€
                We’ll see in a couple of years then! πŸ˜›


  3. Thank you for sharing, this is very deep. As an astrologer I can appreciate your integration of the astrological archetypes, but it is even more powerful as a sharing of the difficult process of healing. I especially appreciate your use of the patient in a therapist healing dynamic as being the healer of the therapist. with gratitude, Gray


    • Hi Gray, Thank you very much πŸ˜€ I have only recently realised how sharing my story openly actually moves the story on, how releasing the elements in my life I used to keep secret frees me from them, as I share so I heal, and maybe what I share will help someone else find their healing too, or something like that. ❀ Ursula


    • I ignored Chiron for a while, I do that with asteroids as getting information on them can be quite tricky, much of it has to be intuitive. I tend to wait until one pops up and demands some attention from me, then I research it. Chiron did that, and I realised it had a lot of influence in my chart natally and by transit and it tied in with things I was working on while exploring psychology. It’s a fascinating and insightful way to dig deep within and understand oneself. Chiron in the 7th is a tough one because it is connected to others, and Pluto/Uranus in the 1st does not like the seesaw between self and others. Or at least mine doesn’t πŸ˜‰


  4. Yes, I read the post above, but could not find the other posts on Chiron in the 7th. What months are they archived in? As I said on my website, I don’t own a computer so I don’t have a lot of time online. I liked your badger/hedgehog dream. I used to have pet hedgehog. The fact that your name is Ursula and that you dream about badgers and hedgehogs makes me think you live in the UK? Is that correct?


    • Your question reminds me of the deductive reasoning of Sherlock Holmes πŸ˜‰

      My archives are a mess, but all my astrology posts are under the category – Astrology. I posted a piece on Chiron yesterday, but all of my astrology is a personal exploration of my chart and the dialogue it conjures up within myself, as astrology for me is a psychological tool. So it may not be relevant or of interest to others.

      I enjoyed reading your post, a very intriguing story.

      Although I did bristle a bit at the ‘Capricorns are users’ remark. I realise Capricorns are everyone’s favourite baddie of the zodiac, the scape-Goat. And I get why people don’t like Capricorns, we (yes, I said ‘we’) can be very annoying with our exterior attitude. However using people is not exclusive to Capricorns. One of the worst ‘users of people’ I know is a Leo. I do not see all Leos as users because of that person.

      All humans use each other, the thing which makes it good or bad use is if both benefit from it or only one benefits to the detriment of the other.

      Chiron in the 7th brings that dynamic into focus, and part of healing the wound is understanding how those who get ‘used’ often play a part in allowing themselves to be ‘used’. Actually that part of your story triggered all sorts of inner dialogue for me connected to my Chiron in the 7th wound, so I’m very grateful for that. Thank you.


  5. Thank you. It is very rare that people thank me for the story, so every thank you means a lot. I guess you can imagine how difficult it was for me to put up a 29 thousand word story, with over 100 photos, when I don’t own a computer. I guess I’m really sensitive to Capricorn energy because my Saturn is there, and the worst abusers that I’ve dealt with in my life had Capricorn rising. The fact that there were so many Capricorn rising people in my life I know is no accident. I’m supposed to be learning from them. I agree that using people is fine, it no-one gets hurt, and it’s out in the open. In that case it’s called ‘a bargain’. I wanted to have an open bargain with Jose, but he didn’t want to call it that. I bent over backwards to be fair with the guy. Anyway, I don’t regret any of it. It was very exciting, and helped me to get over my illness, even though it almost killed me at the time. And I got a great story out of it that occasionally helps someone.

    I also have Chiron in Pisces. I’m been married seven years, and I have yet to celebrate an anniversary in the company of my husband. How’s that for Chiron in the seventh house? I feel that for those of us with this placement of Chiron to come to a semblance of peace with it, is to become ambivalent about if someone stays or leaves one’s life. That way, when someone becomes abusive (and it’s bound to happen with this placement) they can be jettisoned quickly – although I know from experience that sometimes it is impossible to distance oneself from an abuser.

    I will read more of your astrology posts when I return to the library. By the way, I’ve been called Sherlock Holmes in the past. When I meet someone new, my sister-in-law says : “Here comes 20 questions”.


    • With Pisces in the 7th, it means you have Virgo in the 1st – that is the analytical Sherlock Holmes effect as part of your identity (1st house).

      Chiron in Pisces is tricky because Pisces represents the collective unconscious, so your wound is in some ways everyone’s wound. When I talk about my wound with others I tend to find that the conversation becomes about their wound and my wound gets lost in their wound and I become a therapist listening to someone else. This used to annoy me, but now I am beginning to see the purpose of it. Why it happens and how the healing side of Chiron works.

      Articulating your wound, sharing it, gives expression to something that is within someone else too, and they find words to express what was perhaps silent within them, your words become their words and your wound expressed helps them to express their wound, so your healing becomes their healing. And by helping them to heal themselves you help yourself to heal yourself.

      Everything in Pisces is confused, and it can become hopelessly enmeshed (similar to a co-dependent relationship). That blending is due to the connection between all people. The antidote to becoming too merged with others lies with Virgo, who defines, and sees detail. Thus your 20 questions is designed to help you define the difference between your self and others. Because those with Chiron in Pisces have a tendency to become others by identifying too strongly with the pain of others, your pain and their pain merge.

      People coming and going is a part of the process, because if you become too merged with someone else you lose yourself, so they have to break the bond so you can become yourself again and they can become themselves again. It is the individuation process.

      You will help many people by sharing your story, you may not always know that you have, you just have to intuitively feel it. There will be many invisible thank yous.


      • Actually I have Leo rising and Uranus rising too. My Chiron is one degree Pisces, and my 7th house contains the first three degrees of Pisces. I have south node in Pisces in the 8th, and am trying hard to incorporate Virgo north node methods in my life. I also have Moon conjunct Mars in Pisces in the 8th house, and yes I understand I have something of a martyr complex. You seem to have a keen understanding of symbolism, and because of this you write very well about astrology and dreams. I look forward to reading more of your posts as I have the time. Like you, I have had the experience many times of paying someone to help me, and then not getting any help from the person, and often ending up helping them. This is not a malicious thing, they truly WANT to help me, but are unable to. Since I spent the last 23 years with the main purpose of my life to be of service, I know I’ve helped many people. A couple of times folks who could see into the Cosmic Record have mentioned this to me. I long ago gave up any expectations of appreciation in this life. Once in a blue moon I get a “thank you” and it comes as a pleasant surprise that makes my day… so again, thank you.


        • Thank you. I’m feeling my way in astrology, and allowing that which I perceive to change and evolve. It’s a way to have a dialogue with the self. I make lots of mistakes and those mistakes are blessings in disguise sometimes. A break. The influence of Uranus gives the ability to turn an error into an accidental opportunity.

          That is a wise approach to not have expectations of appreciation. If you help others with the intention of being rewarded with gratitude for your help, then the help is subconsciously motivated by need for acknowledgment, and when that need is unfulfilled it causes resentment. If you help because you are invited to help and you listen to what others need in the way of help, and by helping them you help yourself, because all relationships flow both ways, then the thank you also flows both ways, because they have helped you by allowing you to help them. It’s a beautiful process, but often very subtle. If your help has helped, that’s all the thank you needed, whether the words are said or not. The words expressed are a bonus.

          Your Leo rising will explain why you have problems with those with Capricorn rising. It is a clash of styles, especially at ego level. Explore how those styles express themselves individually and then together as a chemical reaction, and you will have answers as to how to solve what bothers you, if you want to solve it.

          I’m sure there have been many thank yous that you have missed. They are surprisingly easy to miss, especially if something distracts us.


          • You have found the best possible use of astrology: “a way to have a dialogue with the self”. Sadly, most people are so mired in denial they are incapable of analyzing themselves. I would advise those thinking of paying for an astrology reading to skip it and learn to read their own chart. It takes hours and hours to a analyze a chart. An hour reading is pretty much worthless. Also, the astrologer needs to know you, at least a little, to understand how you will react to the planetary influences and therefore make meaningful predictions.

            Believe me, my sensitivities are so sharply honed even the most nuanced expression of gratitude would not escape me. It’s natural to want to know if one’s efforts have made a difference, so I don’t understand why people are not more vocal about expressing appreciation. After all, it only takes 30 seconds to say “thanks, you’re made a difference in my life and I appreciate it”, and how often is there something that one can do for free that makes such a huge impact? Last December was one of the blackest of my life. I made a Christmas card for a friend, and she wrote back to say that she loved it and was carrying it around with her to show everyone she met. That simple sentence was enough to boost my very low spirits for a few days, and help me to keep plodding on. Words of gratitude can move mountains, and it’s sad that it’s become so rare. Perhaps the strangers I’ve helped – I’m referring to folks I met before I posted my story – thank me secretly and pray for me. I won’t know the answer to that until I leave this lifetime. I would have thrown in the towel years ago, except I took for my motto this quote from Mother Teresa : “People are often unreasonable, irrational and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. The good you do today, will be forgotten. Do good anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”


            • I have to disagree, perhaps it is a difference in rising signs, yours being Leo and mine being Virgo, Leo needs acknowledgement as the acknowledgement serves as encouragement, Virgo needs to do, doing is the spur to keep doing. I do not view people as being ‘mired in denial’ or ‘incapable of analysing themselves’. I view others as being my equals. What they do I can do, what I can do they can do, if I can do something they can’t do, I can share that, pass it on, and the same applies to them, they can teach we what I do not know. When I help someone else, they are helping me too. The thanks flows both ways and does not need to be expressed in words or acts. I know it helps me, and they know it helps them, and that ripples out into the world and keeps going. That to me is the essence of the Chiron in the 7th wound. What you see in others exists in you too or you would not be able to see it. Self and other are linked, connected, consciously and subconsciously (Chiron in Pisces). The wounds of others and my wounds are merged and we heal each other. Gratitude flows both ways and does not have to be expressed other than in the healing and wound shared, and that healing and wound shared pass into the collective consciousness.

              We all hurt and we all heal. We are all human and that is our greatest challenge and gift. We are equals sharing an experience known as life. No one is better than others… that is an illusion. It happens, it is a human trait, we all occasionally think we are better than someone else, just as we sometimes think we are worse or less than someone else… we aren’t. We’re equal.


  6. I loved this so much I got wordpress so I could reply, Your 7th and 1st are very similar to my own. tho’ my Chiron is cnj Mars in early Aries yet still op Pluto in Virgo and Uranus in Libra. NN in Pisces in 7th. Life and relationships are certainly very interesting in this life.


    • Wow, thank you πŸ˜€

      It’s a tricky chart dynamic because Uranus and Pluto in the 1st urge you to be very self-focused, independent and individualistic, be yourself and do things your way, but the Chiron/NN in the 7th push you to consider others almost to the exclusion of self, which creates all sorts of complicated conflicts. Balance is required to find the meeting place where self and other can interact with less conflict of me versus you, finding a compromise which does not compromise the identity of either you or the other person.

      Not sure how Mars affects that dynamic. Is your Mars in Aries subdued or fired up? Does the cnj with Chiron mean your Chiron wound holds anger in or lets anger out? And how do you view the anger of others? Mars isn’t only about anger, it is also about energy… however conflict in relationships tends to end up in the anger side of Mars (at least with my Mars which is indirectly connected (via Merc) to the dynamic, at some point I end up pissed off and that motivates me to change the situation).

      Recently I’ve been exploring how the signs and planets in the 7th house show the sort of people, or more to the point what people express of themselves towards and with me, whom I attract. I’ve found Aries/Pisces in the 7th is often expressed as wounded souls who are very aggressive about their wounds. Still exploring this trying to refine it, but that seems quite accurate for me.

      Thank you so much for getting a Wp to comment, that is…wow!


      • Balance is one of the main issues for me.. but whether that comes from the 1st and 7th H oppositions or my Sun/Venus in Aquarius squaring Moon/Jupiter in Scorpio I’m not sure. (add Saturn in Taurus creating a T square for extra fun). The Mars/Chiron is a hard one. I find it very hard to act or speak out when i know i should. It is crippling in many ways. Personally i think it is my hardest lesson. The pain of regret when I didn’t act upon some opportunity is the worst pain i carry. I’m not sure about how able or not i am to express anger.. Moon in Scorpio can be quite deadly. I have found tho’ that my physical body expresses the Mars energy for me that I’m unable to in a unique way. Also my Mars/Chiron trine Neptune in Sag, 3-H. So writing, dance and music have been a wonderful release and source of therapy thru-out my life.

        My main relationships have been with partners who have physical problems as well as psychological. Interestingly 2 of my 3 ex’s went on to have successful long term relationships soon after me. I’m sure my current partner would too if we were to properly separate.
        I get a great sense of gratitude when I am able to help another person heal.

        I am working on trying to recognize and heal my own wounds these days. Parents and early life being a current concern. The greater spiritual reality is something I am aware of. Many battles are fought on levels unseen by most humans.



        • Balance is my nemesis and my ally too πŸ˜‰ Every time I try to achieve it, those scales just tip in the opposite direction. Argh! Still, every now and then I hit a sweet spot between extremes, and it feels good, but then I get excited and they tip!

          What I’ve learned from exploring my chart is to pay attention to all the connections (aspects and the ruler of signs etc) because energy flows along the connections. So it is not easy to narrow something in life down to one position or aspect, or a transit, because there is always something else getting involved in the mix. So you focus on the thing which attracts you and see where it leads. If along the way something else gets your attention, you explore that and see what it has to reveal, and bit by bit you start to get a whole picture.

          The Sun in Aquarius will increase your Uranian tendencies, with Venus there, your need for freedom and independence is strong. You want love, but the kind which embraces freedom, which is rare in love relationships.

          With Pluto/Uranus in the 1st relationships come and go all the time, it’s an intrinsic part of that aspect and position. Every relationship is experienced intensely (more so when Scorpio is tenanted – so your Moon will heighten intensity of emotion, which I imagine is similar to my Mars in Scorpio, it never forgets), and every relationships leads to transformation of some kind, for both you and the other person.

          I always seem to attract people who are going through a Pluto type of destruction/regeneration or a Uranian type of freeing themselves from an old pattern, once I’ve helped them or traumatised them (private Pluto/Uranus in 1st joke) they move on, sometimes to better things for them, sometimes just back to whatever they were doing before I came along (and I think it is as though I never existed in their life). It never fails to happen that way. Those who stay are as rare as free/unconditional love. Mainly because those with Pluto/Uranus in the 1st are a handful for others, most don’t have the stamina to stay. We have to tone our identity volume down in relationships, which ends up stifling our energy until we rebel and escape because the balance of power in the relationship is unbalanced.

          I checked out the Mars/Chiron conjunction and what you say is what it is – ‘You may also find it extremely difficult to be assertive or to stand your ground. Confrontation of any sort represents a problem for you’. With Mars opp Pluto – ‘You are intensely protective of your privacy. Anyone attempting to probe into your personal life will meet with very intense opposition’. So perhaps standing your ground comes up against maintaining your privacy.

          You sound like you’re very aware of yourself and that is a key to healing your wound. Trust your instincts, you know what is right for you.

          I used to have loads of regret about missing opportunities, but lately I’m looking at it differently, looking at regret as perhaps being an opportunity in and of itself. Not sure yet, still working on it. I like to flip things around. Look at what I have and see value in it even if it doesn’t feel valuable. We often get stuck seeing things one way, and if that way hurts, maybe we don’t need to get rid of whatever it is, or hurt ourselves for hurting ourselves, maybe we just need to change how we perceive it. Perhaps regret is more valuable than what we are regretting.

          I find writing immensely rewarding because it is cathartic, and getting it out changes how I see it and me. I would love to dance, but my balance issues aren’t just in relationships… πŸ˜‰


  7. Hi There. I am … just upturned by the post I found “accedentally” today, just when Mercurius is changing his direction in my second house πŸ™‚ I have Chiron in Aries in 7-th (cuspid in Pisces), Pluto on the Asc in Virgo, Uranus in Libra in 1-st, Jupiter in Libra in 2-nd and Neptune in 3-d in Scorpio. My South Node is in Pisces in 6-th. My Venus is in Virgo in 12-th – probably this is the reason I am too much secretive and writing this I am worrying who can read it πŸ™‚ I am man, from Bulgaria, Europe. I can not understand my Chiron until now, curently in squqre wuth transitting Pluto. Still excited by the reading, probably I’ll write more when I become more calm. 10x a lot for the post and comments !!!


    • Thank you πŸ˜€

      With Scorpio in the 3rd house of the mind there is a certain secrecy about revealing things publicly, especially thoughts. Virgo Asc is very private too, reserved! And Pluto on the Asc would mean that you are careful about privacy. Pluto is power and on the Asc with Scorpio in 3rd, means being secretive is power too. But power can work with and against, too much secrecy can be as much strength as it is weakness. It brings into play the balance of Libra (planets in Libra and 1st/7th house planets).

      We have similar charts. I used to be super secret and slightly worried about revealing anything. It made me too secretive and so very silent. Everything is good and bad at the same time. At some point we need to express ourselves, we just have to find the way to do it without feeling too vulnerable.

      It helps when Chiron is in the 7th to understand other people. People don’t see what we think they see, so we can reveal more without it being less private. We also see more than others think we see.

      I am interested to know more of your experience when you feel ready to share. Thank you!


  8. I don’t know why, but I made a mistake – my North node is in 6-th, not the South. Thanks for the replay, Ursula ! Secrecy is very big issue for me. I am trying to hide myself and at the same time to express myself. It’s very complicated game – sometimes I am moving people like pawns, sometimes just because I don’t want to show myself public. I am Leo Sun, Mars in Leo, Mercurius in Leo, all in 11-th house, cuspid in Cancer.


    • Wow that is a lot of powerful Leo energy, which does make the secrecy versus self expression complicated because Leo loves to be seen, needs to be noticed to feel alive, yet Pluto on the Asc, Virgo rising, Scorpio in the 3rd love privacy, to be unseen.

      I have Cancer on the 11th too, and I think that adds to it. Cancer is also quite secretive, yet longs to be known, to be loved, but if it feels rejected in any way by society (11th house) it goes into its shell.

      I think that a certain amount of secrecy is natural, it keeps us separate from others, and this stops us from losing ourselves and merging too much (which goes with a South node in the 12th). Too much secrecy and we feel isolated. We need to share ourselves, express ourselves, to connect with others. With a North node in the 6th perhaps the key is to do it is in small ways, day to day ways, one detail at a time, reveal a little bit of yourself, then wait to see if you feel comfortable revealing a bit more. Being gentle with your need for privacy, respecting that, yet feeding the need to show yourself too. If you feel you have revealed too much, then you retreat a bit. Like the movement of the ocean which hides much below the surface, but offers gifts when it washes a shell up on the beach. It reveals a bit of itself with each wave without losing its privacy, its mystery. So that the Leo side gets to be seen and acknowledged, but the Pluto/Virgo/Scorpio side also gets to keep a certain amount of secrecy.

      I’m sure you’ll figure it out, you have a keen mind, and you seem to know yourself very well.

      Sometimes we just have to keep experimenting until we hit upon the solution.

      Thank you.


      • Thanks, Ursula. Obviously you are giving me a lot ot energy for insights – when I am reading your comments i am feeling deeply calming. Well, something “happend” to me last year. It was the cherry of the cake, but… First my Mom died, 2 months later I moved with my family to my birth town, combined with my job, 2 months later I lost my job, 2 month later my wife broke up with me and I moved back to our previous city for living, but just for few months. Everithing happend during the Uranus MidAge oposition and trasitting Uranus conjucted my retrgograde natal Chiron. I lost my life – there is nothing by my old world, except me. Then I isolated, closed into my shell and tryed to heal my emotional wounds. At the moment, a year after break up and divorce I still miss a lot my family – wife and daughter. It was 15-teen years marrige. Three montth ago I started new business, but loneliness in personal life is very strong at the moment and I am loosing focus in weekends. Obviously my Cancer 11-th house based Leo Sun feels lonely, when alone for long time. At the same time I feel some conflict between money making and friendsip. I have qadrature between 11-th house Sun and 2-nd house Jupiter. When I am working, I am very good in money making, but I think that is not fair regarding others, and after that I am tryinig to be close with others, forgetting about the business, giving them support for free. My life seems on the waves now – business or friendship, and these moods are turning.
        The surprising think was, that after my breakup and divorce I realized, that abandonement is very painful for me – obviously this is my Chiron wound in 7-th. At the moment I still can not understand why I can not let go my ex wife – she already is living with another man, but part of me even do not beleive, that we really finished our connection. Very upsetting, and transitting Uranus in his retrorade movement conjucted natal Chiron again just a month ago. They will conjuct once again soon, when Uranus become direct again. I feel the suffering via all my body – I know it is not fisical, it’s psichological pain, but my body is reacting very strong on it.


        • Where is transiting Chiron in your chart? Has it returned to the position it was in when you were born yet? Mid-life transits do cause huge changes, often painful. I’ve just had the Uranus opposite Uranus (which also came with a death), before that I had Neptune square Neptune. Sometimes they cause us to lose an old life which was the life we thought we would have for ever. It is an opportunity to change for positive, but it often feels all negative.

          Right now there is the Uranus/Pluto square which is changing people and the way we experience the world. It is scary and exciting, personally and globally. So any Uranus transits are linked to Pluto transits too.

          You had many changes all at once, so it is natural for you to need time to absorb and adjust. Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes it takes a long time to understand what it all means, especially if daily life makes it hard to have time to think things through or feel what we need to feel to make sense of it and then let go and move on.

          A long relationship makes a deep impression on us, and we never let go completely because it is part of us. Your marriage was long and so it will need much time to pass to let go of the pain of the breaking up to get to where you can move on yet still have the good memories of the life together. You have a daughter and she will always keep the connection between you and your wife alive. She may feel much pain because of the break up, she may also worry that because her father and her mother are no longer together that she will fall between the crack of the break up and be forgotten or that the parts of her which remind you of her mother may cause you pain, and the parts of her which remind her mother of you may cause her mother pain. Perhaps by helping your daughter understand the break up you may find healing for it too. Because Chiron in the 7th means that our wounds heal when we help others heal their wounds. So perhaps your social life should start with your daughter. Maybe through your helping each other to understand, it will open other doors with other people too in a new way.

          A body in pain, whether it is physical or psychological, is the way we tell ourselves to take care of ourselves first. For as we learn to be kinder, gentler with ourselves, so we become kinder and gentler with others. Give yourself time to heal, don’t rush yourself, give yourself the love you seek in others, and others will find their way to you, and love you too.

          Thank you.


          • Hi, I am sorry about the delay. Transitting Chiron is my chart is ni my 6-th, in Pisces, ofcourse. Not yet in return point – it will be there after about 8 years. I have Neptune Sq Neptune (natal 3-rd, transit 6-th, I stil have trail by Plupo Sq Pluto (natal 1-st, transit 4-th) and curently yes, I know about Pluto Sq Uranus transit.
            Somehow Neptune – transitting in my 6-th, near Chiron in y 6-th is the key now – I am in a period I need to express my creativity and I feel it as urgent need to do that. I am trying to find this expression via my work – 6-th. Curently I am leading creative project, involving technology (Uranus), organization transformation (Pluto) and going thru healing relationships between people into the company (Chiron, I think).

            I am trying to learn to trust in my personal life again, to allow somebody to come close to me. To open my heart again. It’s very hard. But possible.

            Thank you !


            • You have some very powerful transits, which explains much of what you have said about your life and the upheavals in recent years.

              The 6th house is also about health as well as the day to day of work. When I had my Neptune square Neptune, as well as Chiron in the 6th, my health went very strange. Since your natal Neptune is in the 3rd house of the mind, with transiting Neptune in the 6th, it means that mind and body are linked, more so than usual. So healing the mind heals the body, and taking care of the body helps the mind. Chiron in the 6th amplifies the need to take care of physical health. Expressing your creativity is definitely a very good idea. Your instincts about the way forward to heal are very good. Neptune rules intuition too, especially in Pisces. So trust yourself and follow your ideas. You know what is right for you.

              Pluto square Pluto is tough, but because of your natal 1st house Pluto, the energy of Pluto is good for you, even when the aspect is a challenging one. Pluto is above all about power. Personal power. But to own it, you have to transform yourself, that is a rule of Pluto. To transform. To shed old skins, and embrace new ways of being yourself. In the 4th Pluto often affects the home, forcing moves from place to place, and it also brings into review beliefs about family, and who we are, especially in connection to family. Our roots too. How our childhood shaped the adult we are. It sometimes causes a new look at the past, to change the present.

              Transits of Uranus are about freedom. Breaking free from old ways and finding new ways to do things, and to be.

              Sounds like you are very in tune with your chart. You know what you need and are working towards that. Trust yourself. That is where all power and healing and creativity come from, from within you. By believing in yourself, you give yourself the ability to be yourself. Perhaps that is why you needed some time alone, isolated. To get in touch with yourself and really see and know who you are. To learn to love yourself. Give yourself time to heal, and as you heal, so your heart will open naturally.

              Those with Pluto in the 1st are natural survivors, even when life seems to be trying to break us into tiny pieces, we can always put the pieces back together, in a better form or throw them away and start again new and improved. When things are dark, we thrive and survive. Those with Uranus in the 1st can bounce back from anything and find an opportunity anywhere and in everything. You have powerful energies in your chart, the difficult transits are helping you to see just how powerful you are within. Trust yourself, and wait and see.

              Thank you.


  9. I have Uranus, Pluto and Mars in the 1st house with a Chiron in Pisces in the 7th… It’s been a struggle all my life to balance my need to be heard and validated and to offer that compassion to others. So I became a massage therapist, healer, psychic & life coach. These are all aspects I needed for myself all these years, and I was giving them to others. Now that Chiron has started moving forward again after being in retrograde since June, I feel such a relief that I have come to a point where I am my own healer, life coach and that knowledge is being shared to support myself and family. All is how it should be and is meant to be. Thankyou for sharing! Blessingd.. O:)


    • Wow, that is quite a powerful combo! Is your Mars in Virgo too? Very focused version of Mars energy.

      The more I get to know Chiron in Pisces in the 7th, and it helps to have transiting Chiron there now too, the more I see that my healing and wounding is merged with the healing and wounding of others, especially those in close, one on one, relationships. So giving to others what I need for myself, ends up with me giving it to myself too. It almost has to be indirect to work somehow. Still figuring it out. Still figuring out the dynamic of the 1st and 7th house seesaw.

      Sounds like you’ve got yours sussed which is wonderful! Many blessings to you! And thank you for sharing too πŸ˜€


  10. I seem to be commenting on everything you write.. I also have Chiron in the 7th and what you wrote so eloquently has inspired me no end and I hear so many echoes… we seek the healing from therapists and then end up giving them healing and its true its a hall of mirrors cause who is healing whom? we are engaging in a process of dialogue and exchange of energies, awareness and insight that then turns recipricol. I have had the experience too of listening to others and got so frustrated cause I could never feel heard.. as a child all there was was me alone with no one to relate to.. I recognised after I began to deal with my addiction that I had been so deeply lonely for the longest time and yet when my healing opened up there was a well I could dip into deep inside that could fill that lonely space…. I so relate to Tired Man.. I also had everything fall apart just after my Uranus opp Uranus.. I lost my house, husband and job all at once and like you both went into a deep retreat when I wrote and wrote and wrote… sometimes for days all I did was stay in my pyjamas in the house by the sea and write and cry.. and rage and write and cry and write some more….. Neptune was slowly crossing my Aquarian stellium from 1 – 18 degrees Aquarius too as Saturn passed through the 12th everything dissolved and suffering PTSD I was riding some seismic waves of underground feelings that it was impossible to make sense of with my mind……..Urusula I have copied one paragraph out of your reply to Tired Man.. its so healing.. when things fall apart, you wrote, take it gently… it will take time to digest it and make sense of it.. in reality during that time I see I was on a journey of making sense not only of my own past and history but the collective and familial one too…..have you ever noticed in your synastry explorations that the outer or inner planet of one ancestor with become the inner or outer on of the descendent.. I see this ALL THE TIME… and I feel its the collective events which become part of our personal motivation or drive.. it fascinates me.. anyway have been working with all this stuff so long in the dark and alone just wanted to share some of it here……I’m missing speaking astrology with others…..I know you wrote thanks aren’t necessary but feel so happy and grateful to have found your site


    • Thank you πŸ˜€

      Is the transiting full Moon in Gemini in your 11th and transiting Mercury in Sag in your 5th? If so then a burst of creative self expression through communication is spot on!

      And I love that you’re commenting, your insights are very inspiring. My blog is taking on a life of its own and that is wonderful, and it is being fed by the creative juices of so many lovely souls sharing their lives and views and hearts here with me and with others and that touches me deeply. You’ve also given me an idea for evolving my blog, but I need to think about it a bit more before rushing in impulsively. My Scorpio 3rd house makes concentrating on more than one thing at a time tricky.

      There is so much going on astrologically, both awe-inspiring and exciting, at the moment and over the past few years. Some very awesome transits and interplanetary aspects, with the generational/outer planets changing signs too. Change and transformation is always a mixed bag of awful and wonderful, and in-between those two extremes. And if the mid-life crisis transits hit at the same time, as they have with you and with me, everything is magnified and can be overwhelming. Gentleness towards the self is vital, because we’re so hard on ourselves and life is hard on us. Compassion begins with the self. How we treat ourselves sets the standard for how others treat us, we influence our relationships with others with our relationship with ourselves. It’s taken me an age for that to sink in through the layers of my stubbornness. All of this traumatic change, the destruction of old forms to lay the ground for new forms, has an empowering effect and I think you’ve tapped into that successfully.

      One of the things I have finally realised about being alone, especially as a child alone in a world which felt very hostile, is that once you work through the pain of it, still feeling that pain always – because it becomes a part of your identity – but not being controlled by it, it is a powerful gift because you are deeply self reliant and that is a foundation of personal power. I know you know this because you said it succinctly in one of your comments. And the thing about pain, the positive side of it, is that it connects us with others in an intimate way because we all feel it. It’s a strange and beautiful thing. The pain is part of life I think and part of that which binds all beings, humans, nature, the universe, together. To be free of pain in the way some people desire to be, separates us from life (which is something seen in those with NPD).

      I haven’t done much with synastry, I’ve dipped very lightly into it and confused myself (Nep in 3rd style confusion). I am intrigued by what you’ve found and would like to explore it, connections absolutely fascinate me and history and ancestry too, but I don’t know if I have enough natal info on my family to check it out in depth. My family is one which has over generations broken apart and away from those who came before to walk a new self-created path and many have left few traces behind them.

      Oh… and a retreat by the sea! I know it was a very painful time, but what a place to do it with nature beside you, and such a magnificent expression of mother earth! And I bet you found much wisdom within in your words, have you reread what you wrote during that time?


      • Hi… after some days.. the transiting full moon was actually in my tenth and fourth.. I have Sag on both the IC and 5th house. And a huge 1st and 7th house with Virgo and Pisces intercepted there. So when transits hit my first seventh axis they go on for a very long time. It doesn’t surprise me that relationships have been the entire focus of my life and the absence of them on another level. Anyway. I do find synastry pretty amazing. Also seeing who shows up in your life under certain transits. Its all so spot on for our learning. Sometimes Im not sure about what I wrote during that long dark night. I think some of it was pretty powerful, but unfortunately my family saw my retreat there as a kind of madness. Its silly that I allow them to dictate my inner view of myself but sadly I have…. I was trying to write this book at the time about how life is trying to help us evolve beyond pure ego on the negative side and more into being and presence. I was exploring how consciousness developed over ages and was intrigued by the mythological period when we were more in touch with symbol, the unconscious, evolutionary life process and inner meaning. One of the things I was trying to argue is that we lost our souls during the last age… the mental age.. and that addiction or recovery from it, as well as other forms of psychic suffering were the call to return to the life of our souls. Also that depression is often misdiagnosed as an illness when really it is a call to awaken to the grief ew and anger and life energy we may have lost touch with due to our conditioning. I never managed to pull any of it together into a cohesive whole, but maybe portions of it could become a page.. At least that is what I am beginning to feel now…. I also wrote poems and a big of an autobiography about my path of life which led into and out of addiction. At the time I didn’t have a bigger perspective on any of it. Writing was just a way to bring myself to birth on some level. Anyway. I am so appreciate to have found you and so amazed how open you are to other peoples work and views. In life Ive constantly been surrounded by people whose Saturn’s hit my Venus or Mercury…. I don’t get affirmed and often I get negated instead, which is a shame. A shame too that I haven’t had more belief in myself.


        • You said it yourself, everything in life is a part of our process of personal, and ultimately impersonal, evolution. Not being affirmed by others is pointing you in the direction of affirming yourself (NN in 1st). Having a focus in your chart on the 1st/7th axis means that through relationships, especially the tough ones, you find yourself and thus every interaction transforms you. It also has the potential to transform the other but the choice to let transformation occur is up to them as it is also up to us. I mean it’ll happen anyway at some point, but choice makes a difference.

          There’s an interesting website which focuses on Esoteric Astrology – dkfoundation.co.uk – the section with the articles is very informative. Seeing how our chart shows our evolutionary path.

          I’ve been asked a couple of times if I’m going to write a book about NPD. I know that’s never going to happen… never say never, but… I prefer to scatter my writing in the winds of the internet rather than bundle them together in a book. I know myself well and blogging suits my style of writing which is all over the place, here, now, and everywhere, as that is also how my mind is.

          So, as I see it, when we work on something and it doesn’t come to fruition as we had envisioned it, it isn’t a failure, or a waste of time, or any of those other criticisms we punish ourselves with, it is as it should be and it will show us where to go with it. Your seclusion to write and really get deep down into yourself happened exactly as it was meant to, and has laid the foundations for where you are now and where now is leading you.


          • That is so true. We DO punish ourselves so much and make ourselves wrong instead of affirming ourselves. I now know my soul was in a deep process as Neptune was crossing everyone of my personals in this sequence Mars 1 deg, Saturn 3 deg, Moon, 6 deg, Sun 15 deg, Ascendant 16, Venus 16, Mercury 17 and Jupiter and South Node 18 Aquarius and so it was a deep deep night sea journey. Like you I also had Saturn passing through the 12th and that is a journey into the deep unconscious and has profound collective imprints too, at least it does when I study my ancestral charts. During this time I went through an alchemical solution, literally in my soul. It felt like I was dissolving.. It was hard to stand, to eat to dress. It was scary and totally not of the mind. But during that time I would write down inner guidance, then I would write down astrological reflections, I would journal, write excerpts from writers and therapists who were studying soul and coming to deep insights.

            I don’t think my family or partners could “get” it or were meant to. You say it so well. I had to get it. You said it in another comment. I had to find my way to push back against their pushing me not to go through it. I just think the connections to my South Node are so intense I am pulled back into others points of view of me. This life is a battle to find my own feelings and expression and point of view and then find the courage (Leo, Lion Heart Sacre Couer) to express it. I do think what you say is right. What is, just is. We can argue or we can accept and find the meaning in it.

            Re all the suggestions that you write a book I do think this kind of blogging is better in some ways than a book and you know in your heart what is your best vehicle for expression. I know some people love to hold a book in their hands and feel its substance..

            For someone who is not an astrologer your astrological insight is wonderful. I feel you put a mirror to my soul and see it and get it. Because you have put a mirror to your own deep soul and seen it and got it. πŸ™‚


  11. Hi…I am rather late to this post but was truly captivated by it. My chiron, north node and sun are all conjunct each other at 0-3 degrees Aries in my 8th house. I believe I fully know and understand this pain you feel. My childhood experiences couldnt be more similar and my relationships always accompany a good amount of pain. I am a virgo rising at 0 degrees as well so the pisces/virgo dichotomy plays a big part in my life as well. I would love to talk to you further about this…please feel free to reach out. Linneamchugh@yahoo.com. Thank you!!


    • Thank you πŸ˜€

      And thank you very much for the offer of emailing you, that’s very brave and kind. I’m keeping to corresponding via the comments section on my blog at the moment as my email has been commandeered by a legal matter connected to Uranus’ transit of my 8th house πŸ˜‰ I touched upon it in a couple of my astrology posts. I have one of those minds that tends to only be able to focus on one thing at a time and this thing is using up a lot of concentration. Luckily my friends whom I chat to via email are very patient and understanding about my recent email silence.

      Speaking of Uranus, it’s transit must have stirred up your Chiron, North Node and Sun conjunction, how have you experienced it?

      I read a very intriguing view of the 8th house recently that moved away from the more common Death, taxes and sex view of it – http://beyondthestarsastrology.wordpress.com/2011/01/20/the-8th-house-standing-on-the-threshold-of-a-new-reality/

      Do you have Pluto in Virgo or Libra in the 1st?


  12. Thanks for sharing. Having Chiron in the 1st (and Pluto, Uranus, North Node in the 7th) I enjoyed reading your perspective. I have wondered how it would be for someone with Chiron in the 7th. Interestingly, I saw many parallels between us. But since they are on the same axis, I think perhaps in the end the result is similar in nature.

    I know a co-worker who has Chiron conjunct her descendant and I’ve watched in her life how she herself doesn’t seem to have a wound, but seeks to understand the wound in others as if she’s trying to reconcile something in herself. Almost as if she is saying, “What is it? What is it that you have and are experiencing that I don’t have in myself.” And also I see in her this wish to understand it, if for nothing else, but to help make it better. Because it can truly be a burden to see someone you love hurting, and not know how to help them or how to fix it.


    • Thank you πŸ˜€

      I’m really enjoying reading your posts, you have a great gift for capturing the essence of things!

      I noticed our charts were in a few ways the opposite of each other, and it intrigued me to observe the flip side of the energies as it gives a more rounded picture of how a planet works within the chart.

      My Chiron is conjunct my North Node, and they oppose my Pluto/Uranus conjunction in the 1st, which complicates the issues of the 7th and the dynamic of the 1st/7th, and Libra and Aries are also in the mix and flipped. So understanding the challenge and finding the solution to it is a focal point for me and has been my entire life – with or without astrology, astrology really helps to flesh it out.

      It’s interesting what you say about your co-worker. Your observation strikes me as very insightful. I have a wound, and it’s splattered all over my blog πŸ˜‰ The urge to understand it is very dominant, to understand my own wound and trying to understand the wounds of others is very much a part of it.

      Pain is universal and it connects us all, so delving into what pain is and how it works and doesn’t work is a valuable source of information. However I’m not seeking to fix anything or anyone, that’s a trap in my view, a bandaid, a gilded cage of ego, sublimation, a distraction and sometimes a projection.

      With Chiron in the 7th an individual has to be very careful of the dynamic of relationships – the temptation to save others whether others need or want to be saved or not. To project our wound into others and then try to heal it in a person who doesn’t have it. To disrespect boundaries but think that we’re doing it for a noble cause (this is amplified if Chiron is in Pisces or the Pisces energy is strong in the chart). So many traps to watch out for. At least for me as I have other aspects and planetary positions which point to my need to learn to be responsible for myself, especially in my approach to others in relationships.

      The healing lies within the wound and pain itself, they are the healing. It’s the gift in the curse.


      • Thanks so much!

        I agree, seeing the flip side of the energies give a more rounded picture of how a planet works. Astrology (and Myers-Briggs) have been instrumental in helping me see outside of myself and understanding the numerous ways in which others view and experience life.

        And yes! to not trying to fix anyone. It *is* a trap . . . one that I fall into over and over and over. : ) I’m going to get it one day though, by golly.

        I’m going to go out on a limb here (well . . . really it’s like a big tree branch), and say that perhaps any emphasis in the 1st and 7th house requires that the individual be very careful in the dynamic of relationships. The reason I say this, is because although I have Chiron in the first . . . I had the same experience as being the Parent to my mother who behaved as a child (and still does to this day). I was never seen or noticed. I always helped with everyone else’s struggles and never spoke of my own. But the first moment I began to actually need help in my late 20s. . . my entire family took a step back and let me fall flat on my face.

        When finally my brother got the courage to return my call months later, and I asked how come everyone turn and ran the first time I asked for help, he said, “Because we don’t know how to help. You’re the one who always knows.” <– My first glimpse into how being an enabler can actually stunt people's growth in the long run vs. help.

        I have enjoyed reading your posts on narcissism. I recognize much of it from others in my life, as well as being in that space myself. What was really blowing my mind is how much those descriptions sound like how Uranus and Aquarius can be. Aquarians are notorious for being a little bit . . . above it all and also really believing they know better. Well, because they do know . . . intellectually. But it's not until later in life they start to understand that there's knowing something in an intellectual way . . . and then there is actually feeling and experiencing it furreals. Until they can get past their pride (Leo being in opposition to Aquarius) . . . they tend to sit in their ivory tower alone and above it all and not understanding what everyone else's "deal" is.

        Your posts and perception have helped me tremendously in seeing my 1st and 7th houses (and the planets in them) more clearly. Especially helpful with Uranus transiting my ascendant. I can see more clearly how what I've been experiencing more intensely in the last year, is very similar to what the "others" in my life have been experiencing and why they are like they are. Having experienced it for myself, I'm finding it easier to forgive their responses towards me and let all of it go.

        But! Also to let go of trying to save and fix them. I understand why they are like they are towards me . . . but that doesn't mean I need to stop or feel guilty for being me, and it doesn't mean that I need to try and save them from themselves. Instead of pulling myself down to be with them, they're going to have to step up to be with me. And I know from personal experience that it's possible. You are showing in your blog and your own personal experiences, that it's possible. Sometimes that's all a person needs to start making changes . . . is to see that it's possible because someone else did it. (1st house, Aries, Mars) <— that should be like my signoff. My word equivalent of holding out the mic in front of me and dropping it. {Boom} : D


        • Thank you πŸ˜€

          I have a blogging friend who’s my astro-similar, as in our charts have many of the same placements, and our lives have many similar experiences – http://pluranianrambullngs.com/ – and she recently posted a series of videos about Uranus/Aquarius/11th house as pointers to understanding trauma – http://pluranianrambullngs.com/2014/01/11/knowledge-red-pill-time-uranus-from-an-evolutionary-viewpoint/ – which is an interesting perspective that uses Evolutionary Astrology. You might find those videos interesting as they may elucidate further the insights you already have.

          I find your view of Aquarius very intriguing, and it ties in with how I was introduced to astrology. I was in my teens and my boyfriend, an Aquarius, announced (tongue in cheek yet also sort of not that) that Aquarius was superior to Capricorn (my Sun sign). He then ‘proved’ it to me using the Sun sign bible of that time – Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs. Being a Pluto/Uranus in the 1st, plus Mars in Scorpio in the 3rd, I decided his ‘proof’ needed thorough investigation and for me to decide for myself whether he was right or wrong. His challenge did me a huge favour. I still can’t prove his statement, in fact I don’t think any Sun sign is better than another, just like with people, we are all a mix of bad/good/and all the shades in between.

          The trick, I think, to understanding the energy of Uranus in the 1st, by transit or natal, is to realise that it brings creative chaos which can be liberating but also very overwhelming. Other people experience you as an Agent of Chaos, when its direct, when it’s retrograde you experience yourself that way. When it’s in retrograde you may lay waste to your identity and everything you think is a part of it to free yourself from your own notions of yourself and open yourself up to other possibilities – in Aries this means lots of new beginnings, starting from scratch, U-turns, and new initiatives of all sorts. So you may find that an Activist (the Aquarian side of Uranus) action you have taken suddenly explodes in your face and you decide what you thought was true and vital is not, and you may swing to another extreme (Aries/Libra 1st/7th house axis). It’ll be a traumatic experience for you and others, but also exciting and radical and liberating. You have to accept the chaos, trying to fight it or stop it or control it doesn’t work with Uranus, it makes it rebel more.

          Very insightful what you said about how your family couldn’t deal with you not being the strong one and sort of rejected you because it messed with their reality. You have tremendous insight. Understanding the ramifications of that insight and making it a part of your day to day – is that Chiron in the 1st?

          The ‘fixing’ people thing is a bit of a virus which infects most humans. It’s complex because it connects to our identity and our ego. It appears good and noble, but is very arrogant even if we are right and our ‘fixing’ would benefit the person we are trying to ‘fix’. It’s a delicious trap, which is why it’s so easy to fall into. What we need to ask ourselves is why we are really trying to ‘fix’ someone else or the world. What’s our real motivation, not the one we are telling ourselves is our motivation, but the one underneath all the reasons we give ourselves for what we do. The core intention. Lots of people try to ‘fix’ others to make themselves feel better about themselves or to feel safe. Thus the ‘fixing’ isn’t helping the other person, it’s for our own benefit, it’s a form of controlling others to control our reality. Uranus, especially in the 1st, tend to act like a wrecking ball on those sort of scenarios.

          Aries rising – you lead by example. Be the person you are, and let that inspire others. Don’t force them to be inspired by you, or to be who you think they would be better being. Just do it yourself. Your life is a personal adventure in leading the way by being and doing for yourself.

          I love your mind and spirit!


          • This is wonderful information and feedback.

            Regarding your decision that someone else’s proof needed thorough investigation & for you to decide for yourself whether he was right or wrong . . . really feels like a breath of fresh air to me. (btw, my son also has Mars in Scorpio along with Pluto . . . I totally dig it.) I am aware that I have a tendency in my sharing, to try and tell someone how they are from my own observations. It comes more from struggling to learn how to have open communication with very tight-lipped people who refuse to acknowledge or see (or acknowledge to me) what’s really happening or their part in it, than coming from a place of menace. So I oscillate from taking the blame myself to trying to indirectly tell them how they are being, but in an awkward “Aries trying to be Libra and failing” diplomatic way.

            You are not one of those people from my past, but I think I may have been doing that when describing Aquarius to you, having in mind that you have Uranus in the first. My sincerest apologies, even if no offense was taken, because for myself I feel that was unfair to you. It feels really good to interact with you, exactly because you do think for yourself and won’t have someone else tell you what is what. I greatly admire and respect that. It makes me feel like it’s okay to be open around you, because you aren’t going to try and make me responsible for your response to what I say, but you *will* tell me how you see it different from me. And.I.love.that! That feels like a true discussion to me. I don’t want people to just agree with me . . . that feels awful and frustrating to me.

            And thank you for the personal insights of Uranus in the 1st. It’s definitely a crash course learning adventure, especially as it is also approaching opposition to my natal Pluto at 11 degrees. (While transiting Pluto squares the natal Pluto, and my ascendant). It feels like I have zero wiggle room. I either figure it out immediately, or I’m going down and in a very public way. But with this much tension, it’s almost a blessing, because my only choice becomes letting go and surrendering to what’s happening. I have no control over things right now, I’m just along for the ride . . . and there’s a freedom that comes with that.

            It felt good how you summarized my family’s response to me. Something that I appreciate about Aquarius/Uranus energy, is that they usually can take something I spent several paragraphs trying to describe and summarize it in a more impactful way with just a sentence or two. Just that one sentence impacted me hard (in a positive tearful way) because it made me feel like you were actually reading and paying attention to what I was saying. It feels like that might be your Pluto and/or Mars in Scorpio at work? Seeing below the surface of things and being aware of them, as well as being proficient at communicating them to others. I don’t come across many people who are able to do that, and when I do, I am very grateful and appreciative. I feel less alone in how I experience the world. That type of depth, skill, and awareness doesn’t come from having had an easy life.

            The fixing people phenomenon . . . yes. A million times yes. Nothing is what it seems. There are many that look like the “good guy” who helps everyone, does everything that a “good” person should . . . but is really quite self-centered and controlling/manipulative. Doing for others what they think others need, instead of asking what they actually need as an individual. They should just be thankful for whatever they are given . . . as if they aren’t a person who is worth enough to have their own need be different from the one helping them. It promotes projecting our needs and wants onto others without seeing the other as their own person with their own path. Hmmm . . . this feels like my Uranus transit . . . I can see it clearly and intellectualize it . . . but I’m still working on making this a constant reality in my own life and in my own interactions with people. It’s hard to keep this clarity for me when I interact with others, because there are so many people in support of looking like the good guy in my life, I feel like an insensitive douche when trying to actually live this out. I’ll find an awesome way to be how I feel anyways, that isn’t so abrasive to others. Baby steps Jenn . . . baby steps.

            And again, your last paragraph regarding my Aries rising . . . thank you. I needed to hear that. I needed that feedback and reflection. Don’t force others to be inspired by me, or to be who I think they would be better being . . . I will take that to heart because it felt so good to read that it made me open up, drop my defenses, and cry hard . . . which is code from the universe to me, that a truth has been spoken. Also, just like the part you summarized about my family’s response to me, I felt truly seen and talked to, instead of being talked at. I greatly respect that.


            • Thank you πŸ˜€

              Actually your view of Aquarius really inspired me, as Jupiter in transiting my 11th and in Rx it’s raising some of the issues you touched upon. Your words stopped a possible disaster in its tracks, so thank you very much for that πŸ˜€

              You have amazing insight and self-awareness, invaluable tools for your journey through life. You will inspire everyone you meet very naturally and don’t have to think about it or do it deliberately. It’ll just happen, and that’s the most effective kind of inspiration. You’ll ‘fix’ more people by not trying to ‘fix’ them, you’ll just show them something by you being you and it’ll inspire them to be themselves and act on the inspiration. That is better than ‘fixing’ them, that’s showing them that they have personal power and can ‘fix’ themselves if they want to. It’s a natural and lazy kind of assistance. Sometimes lazy isn’t lazy at all.

              I can’t remember what happened when transiting Uranus opposed my natal Pluto. It wasn’t that long ago either. But I can recall the impact of Uranus opposing my natal Uranus, around the time that transiting Pluto squared my natal Pluto, I think, not sure. I had Neptune square Neptune around that period so… it’s all a blur.

              Thing to remember about Uranus and Pluto, especially in Aries and Capricorn… whatever else they are teaching you, they demand authenticity. If you’ve built a castle on the sand or some other dubious foundation, the tower is going to collapse. It’ll be traumatic until you realise how liberating it is. You might get slightly drunk of the freedom, that happens a lot with Uranus due to the way the energy works, so let it happen, you’ll sober up eventually, Pluto in Capricorn will make sure of that.

              I think you have the theory sussed, it’s putting it into practice day by day which is the challenge. But it’s a challenge which is worth doing. You’ll make mistakes… they’re not mistakes they’re experience experiments.

              Those baby steps are beautiful, you know that, you watched a child make those steps πŸ˜€


              • You are like 7 levels of awesome. πŸ˜€ It is truly a joy talking with you. Every single sentence in your reply feels like a gold nugget. I’m going to harvest these (email them to myself) to have on hand as I navigate the current chaotic depths. Thanks for being a starry beacon in the plutonic depths. πŸ˜€


  13. Wow! I happened upon your article by “accident” as I’ve been trying to figure out the dynamics of my 7th house and how it ties into my relationships with others. And boy did you hit the nail on the head with the role reversals of patient/healer and parent/child! My mother was a teenaged run away at the time of my birth, so 5 years later I was sent to a foster home where I was “raised” by a suppressed, rage-filled woman in perpetual victim mode. I wound up becoming an emotional buffer for her, and later a caregiver during her final years before she died from cancer. As a young adult I reconnected with birth mom only to discover that she possessed a borderline narcissistic personality and enjoys (to this day) pretending to be a victim, milking it for whatever she can get from it. For a while I was really pissed off at both of these women for making the choice to become mothers when all they were looking for was their own mothers. Finally, I just felt sorry for them, which is kind of ironic because I tend to bristle at anyone who attempts to express sympathy towards me about my “lost” childhood. Like you, I have Chiron in the 7th–mine is retrograde in Aries w/Pisces on the cusp. Sharing my Pisces 7th house is the north node in Aries–also retrograde. I’m also part of the Pluto/Uranus in Virgo conjunction generation–both are in my 1st house, and my like many of my latchkey comrades of that generation, I ended up becoming a “helicopter mom!” LOL

    Thanks so much for sharing your story; it’s helped me gain more perspective.


    • Thank you πŸ˜€

      I love meeting astro similars! To me it’s meeting someone who gets you without either of you needing to explain anything about yourself because the energy is a kindred one. This blog – http://pluranianrambullngs.com/ – is powered by an astro similar, she also has Virgo rising with the Pluto/Uranus in 1st versus Chiron in the 7th dynamic too.

      I think what ramps up the difficulty of dealing with Chiron in the 7th for us is Pluto/Uranus in the 1st. That dynamic means that our Chiron wound is connected to how we experience our identity when we are with other people, especially in close relationships, one on one. It’s a push/pull between self and other. Since our identity has Pluto/Uranus fueling it we were born with a fighting spirit, rebellious, independent, determined to do things our way, seeking personal freedom. This fierce freedom loving independence then clashes with Chiron (and if your NN conjuncts Chiron, and your NN is in Aries, then the clash can seem like a constant battle). Those with Pluto/Uranus in the 1st tend to attract people who try to dominate and subjugate us to their will. With Chiron in the 7th we feel somehow obliged to do something for others, however it feels as though what we are being asked to do is give up our will to another person’s. We tend to seesaw between extremes along the line of the opposition of the axis. Giving up our needs to serve (Virgo rising) the needs of others (Chiron in Pisces seems to demand self-sacrifice on our part). Doing that for a while, feeling it is the right thing to do (Virgo/Pisces), but something within us starts to feel that the right thing may be wrong for us (Pluto/Uranus). An internal struggle creates pressure within us until we have to break free, which often involves cutting all ties to the people in our life (this is particularly true for NN in Aries in the 7th). But even though being free at last to be ourselves and let our will breathe feels fantastic, that isn’t quite right either, but it feels more right than wrong (SN in 1st means we are used to putting ourselves first). The cycle keeps repeating giving us training, teaching us all aspects of the dynamic, until we are ready to find a way to balance (Libra) the seesaw of the 1st/7th house axis. I think the point at which we are ready to do so may be signaled by a major transit in our charts. Once we begin to see how to balance it, the axis becomes less of a battle and more of a puzzle.

      What do you think?


      • Oh my goodness, where do you keep your crystal ball? You absolutely nailed it! My husband likes to joke about my tendency to be rebellious for no reason. But let’s face it, my Virgo rising tends to give people the impression that you so accurately commented on in another post: that my meekness is somehow a weakness. Yet I long to strike a balance between my desire to be of service and my fear of being taken advantage of, or fenced in by overly needy individuals.


        • No crystal ball… if I had one it would be broken by now. I’m very talented at breaking stuff because it’s too fragile and I’m a clutz. I just explained my chart as I know it thus far. Astro-similars have many overlaps in their experiences.

          Balance is a very 1st/7th house dynamic. Self versus others. With Virgo/Pisces there it’s the need to be of service versus self-sacrifice, and variations on the Virgo/Pisces 12th/6th and 1st/7th house axis challenge. Our charts are the reverse, sort of, of the basic zodiac chart. It’s almost as though before we were born we said to the universe – Bring it on! And now have to deal with the consequences of that πŸ˜‰


    • Wow. This hit home, specifically the part about role reversal and your pain functioning as means of healing for others. I have Chiron in 7th house Gemini (sign of communication) but it’s intercepted. I find solar Gemini (and those with heavy air influence) easier to communicate with when I am emotionally vulnerable because I encounter open mindedness and lack of judgement. However in general communication, I feel misunderstood when I try to be blunt/direct and when I attempt subtlty, I usually find that I’m seen as particularly transparent. Go figure.


      • Thank you πŸ™‚

        Since you mention communication, and since your Chiron is in Gemini, where is your Mercury and does it aspect your Chiron in any way?

        Do you find that you attract those who express the signs in your 7th?

        With Aries and Pisces in my 7th I tend to attract those who are often aggressively sensitive. It’s an odd mix, but it is quite accurate. They are the ones with whom I tend to experience the Chiron part of my chart, the challenges of it and its aspects, the most. But it also ties in with my 1st house Pluto/Uranus.

        There’s another thing I’ve noticed since I wrote this post and have delved a little bit more into Chiron’s influence there, and that is that people often perceive me as being a source of something they need, if I refuse to give it for whatever reason – perhaps because I’m unaware of it or because I’m aware of it and it’s not my job to give it – they then often project their shadow side onto me – a 7th house dynamic which is well expressed in this post – http://beyondthestarsastrology.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/the-7th-house-the-shadow-self/

        Have you ever found yourself feeling as though someone is projecting their shadow side onto you and nothing you say or do can make them see who you are really as they are focused on who they have decided you are going to be for them?

        That may just be connected to other things in my chart, but I’m curious to know if it is connected to Chiron in the 7th as that kind of makes sense to me.


        • I apologize for the late response I forgot to sign up for email notification. My Mercuy is in Cancer in the 8th house. Chiron is not aspected by it but by the Moon in the 8th and Sun in 9th (both in Leo). I am a writer, so most people assume naturally, that I’m great at communicating my emotions, but the closer I get to a person intimately, the more difficult it becomes to openly express myself. I have this fear and sensation of being perpetually misunderstood. Recently I basically sabotaged a 10 year friendship with someone I thought would be the love of my life. I didnt realize until afterwards that he was genuinely returning my feelings.


          • Actually it’s quite interesting that you replied when you did because I’ve been chatting this week with someone who has an intercepted Chiron in the 7th, and I’ve been learning a bit about intercepted signs and how they work. They apparently add an extra dimension of challenge to the dynamic of the Chiron wound because the energies of an intercepted sign are sometimes blocked and need to be unlocked.

            Since I don’t personally have intercepted signs and planets, I don’t have any experience of them.

            From what I gather (and I’d need to do a lot more research to really understand intercepted signs and planets) an intercepted Chiron in Gemini would work in a way not dissimilar to what you have described as being your experiences in communication.

            This is quite an interesting post about Mercury/Chiron – http://astrofix.net/2011/06/22/mercurychiron-aspects/#.U61MNKhsAnU – even though your Mercury does not aspect Chiron, it’s relevant because of Gemini being ruled by Mercury.

            It’s important to remember that communication is not just about you communicating with others, but also about others communicating with you. So listening is as vital to communication as talking. True communication flows both ways. Understanding others and what they are communicating is equally important to having your communication heard and understood. And this is reflected in what you said here – I didn’t realize until afterwards that he was genuinely returning my feelings.

            Having Mercury in Cancer makes communication for you something which is deeply important to your emotions, it is a nurturing experience. In theory with that position and with it being in the 8th house (with the Moon there too), your ability to express emotions is innate, deep and penetrative, and you would feel compelled to do it.

            You say – I am a writer, so most people assume naturally, that I’m great at communicating my emotions, but the closer I get to a person intimately, the more difficult it becomes to openly express myself. – This in intriguing as it expresses your chart dynamic. What you don’t say is whether you are good at communicating emotions in writing. Is your writing emotional, do you express emotions through your work. Is this why people make that assumption. Is it only in intimate situations, perhaps when you have to communicate in other ways, through other means than writing, that you find yourself blocked in some way in your ability to communicate?

            A fear of being misunderstood (something which I can totally relate to and which I think many people also feel in relationships) can cause the very thing which is feared, because the fear inhibits how we express ourselves. One of the ways of dealing with this is to flip our focus from being understood to understanding. To give to others what we seek for ourselves. If we understand the person with whom we are communicating or with whom we want to communicate, then we can adjust our style of communication for their particular style of listening and thus communicate more effectively with them and they can do the same with us because they feel understood. This is something I would say is probably a natural talent of having Chiron in Gemini in the 7th. Chiron in the 7th often wounds us to heal us and others – so what hurts us, our pain, opens us up to empathy and compassion, we can see our personal wound in others, and see that they struggle as we do with the same problem, and by understanding our wound we help others to understand theirs. We give what we seek, and through doing that, we are given what we seek in return.

            How are you at communicating with yourself, do you understand yourself (it does sound like you do), because with Chiron in the 7th we have the 1st/7th axis come into play, and therefore our relationship with ourselves is just as important as our relationship with others because the two work together and influence each other.

            Take care of yourself πŸ™‚

            And it is interesting to see that you have naturally gravitated to a medium of self-expression – writing – which is Mercury/Gemini ruled.


            • I’ve been told I’m a great writer. I tend to be able to write my emotions better than I can speak them in social situations and I also have sort of an intuitive understanding of other people’s emotions which I think has a lot to do with my cancer in the 8th house mercury. I almost always home in on what is not being said. I’ve always thought that I was very self-aware it wasn’t until this particular situation that I realize I had some issues with how I see myself which probably has a lot to do with the fact that my first house is also intercepted with Scorpio on the cusp and Sagittarius intercepted. Verbally I never had an issue communicating in a general sense. I function pretty well when it comes to social situations and work environment and generally feel understood. My problem is with communicating vulnerability, which I’m sure has a lot to do with the fact that my Gemini is in the 7th house and they are great communicators but not so great with handling emotions. My issue with this person is that he communicates almost no emotion (sun in sag, cap on the 7th) which leaves me in the position of having to go off intuitive response and dropped hints. It’s did dictate to communicate my emotions to someone who doesn’t deal well. He tries communicate but despite him giving me some signs and signals that he’s interested he’s particularly nonchalant when it comes to the emotional and intimate part of our relationship and blunt about almost everything else so sabotaged it by trying being passive aggressive in my communication. I tend to reflect the communication style of whoever I’m talking to in order to ensure understanding. I have found a few articles on interceptions but they all offer pretty generic/similar descriptions.


              • For those of us with Chiron in the 7th we need to look at the issues which we have with the other person in the relationship to better understand our own issues. We need to separate our issues from theirs, and figure out which is which. This position of Chiron is very prone to projections – our projections onto others and their projections onto us. We need to own our projections, and not own theirs. Which can be very tricky to sort out.

                As you are a talented writer, I would say that this gift is a great source of wisdom and healing for you – reflecting the Chiron in Gemini. That which you have written about the dynamic between you and this man is very revealing. If you have already written more about the relationship or if you were to do so, read your own words, using your 8th house placements which dig and delve into what is hidden, to find your own answers to your questions.

                For those of us with Chiron in the 7th – the solutions to the problems which we have with other people lie within us, and by owning them and working through them we can improve our relationships with others. It can be a pain at times, but it is also empowering.

                Chiron in the 7th relies on balancing out the 1st and 7th house axis for it to be less obstructive and be more constructive.

                It is interesting to note that other people also tend to reflect our style of communication – if we are reflecting their style back at them, then they will assume that we have the same style as theirs – if we don’t, then someone has to break the cycle or reflection or it will keep going around in a circle.

                What sign is on the cusp of your 3rd house, this will also play into your communication style, as well as any planets which you may have located in that house. For a full understanding of your Chiron in the 7th, you need to tie it in with all the parts of your chart which connect with it (1st house energies as it is on the axis), aspects and sign connections. Check out all the Gemini connections (3rd house/Mercury) and investigate those too to get a whole picture.

                Communication is part of your Chiron wound, it is both the wound and the healing power.

                Liked by 1 person

  14. To the blogger: The conversation between you and Jennifer was very interesting and inspiring. Being a Chiron conjunct ascendant AND square the sun i could relate to ta lot of stuff exchanged between you. Thanks for the wonderful blog. You are truly a servant to humanity. Take care!


  15. Wow… that is all I can say right now.
    I just found your blog by googling “Chiron in 7th house,” and I feel like I’ve stumbled upon a whole universe that I only wish I knew was here way before now! I don’t even know where to begin with delving into your blog…
    I got partially into this post and wondered if your mother is a narcissist, only to read on a few comments in that you write a lot about narcissism in your blog. Just at the beginning of last year I discovered that both of my parents have NPD (or an overlap of a few personality disorders), and I dove head first down that rabbit hole of discovery and healing.
    So I am feeling a lot of resonating vibes with you right now, being a fellow who’s into astrology, as well as the daughter of a narcissist, and you also have Chiron in the 7th. And so far from what I have read you are coming from a very humble place with your pursuit of astrology, in that you obviously want to grow as much as you can in this lifetime through the study of it.
    I just skimmed over your blog about transiting Mars through 12th, as I wanted to hurry up and give you some sort of “hello” through a reply to this. Some things you mentioned in that were a good reminder for me, as I am going through a monster of a 12th house Mars transit since it’s retrograde. By the time it’s over and finally moved into my 1st house, Mars will have spent a total of 8 months hanging out in my 12th house. Lately I find myself asking things like “Is life really going to go on like this forever?” My attitude has gone down the craptubes, and it almost seems like a permanent change to personality. Something you highlighted in that post jolted me into the awareness that a lot of my current life circumstances and possibly namely, my higher than usual grumpy and irritable reaction to them, are an outcropping of this transit and this dark period shall indeed pass.

    I guess this is my greeting to you! I will probably be perusing your blog a lot πŸ™‚


    • Thank you very much πŸ™‚ and welcome to my cyber home!

      My blog is a bit messy, even I have trouble finding things on here. My Mercury in Aquarius has a random filing system, plus I have natal Neptune in the 3rd, so when I try to tidy things up they usually get messier, then I get frustrated, natal Mars in 3rd, so I either delete everything and start again from scratch (natal Pluto conjunct Uranus in 1st) or I leave things as is, shrug and keep going, what is meant to be found will be found.

      Transiting Mars at the moment is connecting with the Uranus/Pluto square and transiting Jupiter, creating a Grand Cross, so everything is intensified. It helps to look at them all together. What one transit does affects the others. What transiting Mars stirs up in your 12th will also be relevant to and activate issues connected with transiting Pluto, Uranus and Jupiter. The aspects are hard, therefore challenging, but they also offer maximum benefit for facing the challenges they focus on. Wherever the other transiting planets are in your chart will have bearing on what you discover hidden in your 12th. So if transiting Pluto is in your 3rd, your mind will be changed by what you find in your subconscious/unconscious 12th. And when a planet is in retrograde the energy of it turns inwards, so in some ways life on the outside can appear to be at a standstill while life on the inside is in turmoil.

      Since all the planets involved in the Grand Cross are in Cardinal signs, the focus is on initiating a new way of being, living, thinking, feeling, relating to the self, others and the world, with more authenticity and awareness. Which kind of goes well with a 12th house transit as although it can be very harrowing it also allows hidden motivations and dreams, desires, needs, to rise up from within and be acknowledged and integrated.

      Chiron in the 7th is a very perplexing placement. That’s my diplomatic way of saying it’s annoying and problematic, but I suppose all Chiron placements are, that’s their purpose. A wound which bothers us, and through trying to solve it we heal it gradually and the healing rippples into other things… but the wound never completely heals. In the 7th it involves others, so your wound is their wound, their wound is your wound.

      I can definitely see how you’ve connected having a 7th house Chiron with narcissistic parents, and relationships with narcissists.

      I’ve evolved how I view it a bit since I wrote this post, in an effort to understand it and the issues connected with it better and not get so frustrated with how it seems to work and not work. Which is usually why I write about something, to clarify it, move on from where I’m stuck if I can. The challenges we have in life, in ourselves, which we find in others, pushes us to work through them and that gradually shifts us along in our story, sometimes the entire story changes.

      Thank you for sharing, hope you’ll share some more πŸ™‚


  16. Thank you for such a great post I needed this, it resonates with me totally having Chiron conjunct the Descendant. My Mother is also a narcissist.

    What is it about Chiron in the 7th that makes ones Mother a narcissist I wonder?


    • Thank you πŸ™‚

      I’m not sure if having Chiron in the 7th makes our mothers narcissists, but I’m beginning to think it’s no longer a coincidence.

      With Chiron in the 7th our natal wound is merged with others. Our pain is their pain, their pain is our pain. Our healing heals them, their healing heals us. So all our personal relationships have the theme of wounding/healing in them.

      Since a child’s first relationship is with their parents, or a parental figure, the wound begins with that first relationship. Perhaps we are born as a wound to them, or from a wounding, or they have us to heal a wound and when we don’t heal it we disappoint them, maybe even make the pain of their wound worse. Our birth symbolically represents their wound in some way.

      My mother had me for a very specific purpose. I was supposed to fix her relationship with my father, I was meant to be a magical cure for a wound she had before I arrived, but instead my existence made things worse. My mother was also ill during the entire pregnancy, almost died from complications after my birth, and she never stopped reminding me of this. The constant message to me was that I was supposed to be grateful to her, she suffered to have me, I owed her my life and therefore my life belonged to her because of the debt I owed her. It was my fault I was born, and everything which happened after my birth was my fault too.

      So for me that made being alive a wound. Many people, not just my parents, saw my existence as a wound for them too. And I felt this sense from the get go that I had to somehow minimise the pain I seemed to cause just by being alive, and try to become a source of healing. But I could never quite figure out how to do that because the wound I was trying to heal for much of the time did not belong to me, but belonged to others who projected their own wounds onto me and then expected me to solve it. My own wound got lost underneath theirs. Which ties in with the shadow side of the 7th. We become their shadow, they embody our shadow.

      Recently I’ve been reviewing this as certain events right now are mirroring events from my childhood – T-Chiron is closing in on a return. One of the things I’ve noticed is that after years of being lost in everyone else’s wounds, thinking they were mine, being unable to heal because of wound confusion… I’m finally seeing my own wound. At least I think I am, it feels like it is mine. We’ll see.

      Where’s your Moon? And what are your natal Chiron’s aspects?


      • Hi, sorry for the late reply. That is interesting, I don’t think I have it as strong as you. I have Chiron at 27 39′ Taurus and the Descendant is at 27 59 Taurus so there’s both 6th and 7th house energies involved.

        My Moon is in the 1st house Sagittarius conjunct Neptune

        Chiron trines Venus at 20 Virgo and trines Sun at 1 degree Libra. Also Chiron opposes both Uranus and Mars who are in the 1st house conjunct the Scorpio ascendant at 1 and 3 degrees Sagittarius


          • I found a couple of posts you might find informative for exploring Chiron in your chart.

            The person who wrote this one was experiencing a Sun/Chiron trine by transit so I think it might help to understand how your Sun/Chiron aspect works, it’s also an interesting take on Chiron – http://www.moonkissd.com/2011/03/21/chiron-a-change-in-attitude/

            An in depth look at Chiron trine Venus – http://awkwardangelastro.wordpress.com/2013/06/21/chiron-trine-venus/

            As well as exploring Chiron you should explore your Moon (The Moon often shows our relationship to our mother, how we experience her, how she affects us, as well as our emotional realm). With Moon conjunct Neptune in the 1st your empathy is very strong and would mean that you would pick up on and be very affected by the emotional atmosphere around you. You might even find yourself absorbing the emotions of others and confusing them as your own, and/or find yourself instinctively catering to their needs over your own. Which is something that would be attractive to a narcissist, and a mother who is a narcissist would have encouraged this. And it may shed more light on your original question.

            This is a very good insight into being the child of a narcissistic mother – http://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/surviving-the-narcissistic-parent-acons-adult-children-of-narcissists/

            You have a very packed first house – the house of the self – and there’s an interesting mix of energies. Mars/Uranus packs a powerful punch, very independent and fiery. You might find it interesting to explore Pluto and the fact that it would have been transiting your 1st house for part of your life. Pluto in the 1st tends to draw strong characters who try to dominate, through interacting with these characters the self is honed and becomes aware of its own personal power. So t-Pluto moving through your 1st would have synchronised with Chiron in the 7th wounding and healing wise, stirring things up in the self versus other dynamic. I’m guessing your natal Pluto is in the 12th? That is a very intriguing placement for Pluto because its intensity is often hidden from view of others and sometimes yourself too.

            A planet which is on a cusp often spreads its energies across into both houses and can be hard to pin down. Sometimes using a progressed chart and comparing the natal placement with a progression can add insight, especially using evolutionary astrology because it shows the path of our astrology (occasionally trying to figure out what came before we were born based on our natal placements – I’m not that keen on that bit of it but the idea is intriguing). As well as looking at the path the planet took in your chart after your birth, as that will show the path of your personal journey, so although Chiron influences your 6th, it moved by transit into your 7th and was there for your formative years, therefore that influence would be strong both by birth and transit. Which may be why you have more of an affinity with Chiron in the 7th, because you’ve lived through the inching movement of it’s transit through that house and therefore it left a vivid impression and experience.

            I’m winging it at this point πŸ˜‰

            Quite a few astrologers view Uranus as a pointer to trauma, so being linked to Chiron in an opposition it’s also worth exploring how those two interact. There may be a push me – pull you way of handling wounds. Chiron wants to heal by using the wound, understanding it, knowing, whereas Uranus just want to be free of it.

            A friend posted some videos on her blog of an evolutionary astrologer discussing Uranus and Trauma – http://pluranianrambullngs.com/2014/01/11/knowledge-red-pill-time-uranus-from-an-evolutionary-viewpoint/

            I have to confess I never made it through the videos (I have Mercury aspected by Uranus/Jupiter and Mars = no patience whatsoever), but the concept is intriguing and adds to figuring out our wounds using astrology and how to heal them or at least meet their challenges better prepared.

            How do I always end up talking so much :/


            • Wow!! thank you so very much for the links and the insights!!

              Natal Pluto is in the 11th house at 26 degrees of Libra conjunct Saturn at 22 degree Libra, Saturn sits right on the cusp of the 11th house. Jupiter sits at 10 degree Scorpio in the 11th house also.

              Yes, the trauma signature of Uranus is very interesting and explains a lot, psychological trauma and anger/rage are 2 of the big ones I have been dealing with. I witnessed my dad and my brother fighting aggressively when I was really young and I also experienced a violation of truth where the truth of what I had to say wasn’t heard and I was beaten for it, I was told that because my brother had been hit it was only fair to smack me. I told lie after lie once I experienced that as I didn’t really understand what it meant to speak the truth.

              The years when Pluto transited the 1st house were very intense, I escaped through drugs pretty much all the way through that transit, happy to have come out of it alive and doing what I can to heal. The part about others has been a real issue, I project a lot and have been upsetting people with how I come across when I do so, one minute I’m full of compassion and unconditional Love and the next i’m like ‘Raaaaaaaaar’ lets change the flippin world!!! Something I’m really beginning to be aware of and it makes me so happy to be moving away from that behavior.

              This last week I have been thinking real hard about isolating myself for a while and getting away from social media because as you mentioned, I can feel the power but I don’t want to use it for my own egoic desires I want to be used by the power. It has to come out one way or another, it builds and if I’m not centered or have a creative outlet I explode and a mess is made.

              P.S Please talk more I love this πŸ™‚ I don’t speak to many about Astropsychology and I love it so much ❀ Also forgive my grammar, the right brain runs with it and the left brain doesn't get much of a chance :/


              • Thank you πŸ™‚

                Neptune is traditionally associated with substances which are mind-altering and escapist. When Pluto transited your 1st it would have conjuncted your Moon/Neptune which would have been overwhelming and intense. Sometimes addictions and escapist behaviour is necessary when we feel overwhelmed, it gives us a lifeline of sorts in the moment, it’s only when we get caught in it and can’t get out that it becomes a problem – the place we escaped to becomes a prison from which we then have to escape. Each experience serves a purpose, and when we’re ready we can move on, carrying the wisdom of the experience with us.

                Here’s a good overview of Neptune’s influence – http://planetwaves.net/news/astro-daily/pisces-headwaters-and-delta-of-the-zodiac/ – it was written for a specific date and transit, but the articles on Planet Waves always give good astrological insight.

                What you say here – one minute I’m full of compassion and unconditional Love and the next i’m like β€˜Raaaaaaaaar’ lets change the flippin world!!! – is a perfect description of the energies in your 1st house. Neptune/Moon = compassion and unconditional love. Uranus/Mars = β€˜Raaaaaaaaar’ lets change the flippin world!!!

                Since Neptune and Uranus are outer planets their energy takes much longer to integrate into the self when they’re in the 1st house. Basically they are HUGE amounts of universal energy trying to fit into a human being. Like trying to pour an entire ocean into a glass.

                I have Uranus in the 1st and sometimes I feel as though I have a massive electrical storm inside of me, and if I forget to ground the energy when I interact with people they get zapped. I also have natal Pluto in the 1st, but it’s retrograde so it’s turned inwards, people only really feel it when they mess with me (it trines my Sun too). On the outside, since my Moon conjuncts my Asc., I can appear very placid. On the inside there be cosmic storms πŸ˜‰

                One of the ways to ground energies such as those of Uranus, is to look to the aspects it forms with other planets as the energy travels along the aspect lines. Hard aspects show friction (differences between different sides of yourself), resolving the friction leads to an evolution of the self and the way you relate to yourself which then ripples out into your relationship with the outside world. Easy aspects show ease of flow, the sides of you which get along and work well together, are supportive of each other.

                Saturn is the father as the Moon is the mother, and siblings are in theory represented by the 3rd house. The 3rd also gives more info on the mind (like Mercury). So for relationships you look at the 7th, but also check the 4th house for home and roots (family), Saturn to understand your relationship with your father, Moon for your relationship with your mother, and the 3rd house for relationships with siblings. If you have the birth data of your family members then you can do a composite or synastry chart to see if their planets aspect yours.

                This site touches a lot on relationship astrology – http://sasstrology.com/2014/06/why-partners-are-drawn-to-your-most-troublesome-natal-energies.html

                The best book ever for understanding Pluto, natal and transit is – Pluto: The evolutionary Journey of the Soul by Jeff Green.

                I know what you mean about isolating yourself for a while. Sometimes it is very necessary, especially if you have a strong Neptune as you do. You pick up so much from the atmosphere, from others (and a strong Neptune can pick up the vibes of others over the internet), that you can lose yourself, so being alone for while is needed to cleanse and reconnect just with yourself. Just you with you, sensing yourself. When your psyche feels stressed, drained, or anything along those lines, that tends to stir Pluto – natal Pluto tends to be very protective in a primal manner.

                Sun in the 10th means the ego does need to feel a sense of power, status. In Libra the ego will want to be fair and balanced, the scales may tip from time to time to one extreme of the other, but that’s to improve the understanding of balance. So be careful not to be too hard on your egoic desires, some of them have value. There is a positive side to the ego, that’s why we have one. We just tend to only notice the ego when it is being negative, it rarely gets credit when it does something good and beneficial. The balanced way is part of Libra energy. Yin Yang. Seeing the negative in the positive and the positive in the negative.

                This post gives an overview of different the sides of ego – http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2012/01/ego-versus-ego-strength-the-characteristics-of-healthy-ego/

                Is Pluto transiting your 2nd now? House of personal values. So it will be interacting with your natal Pluto in some ways as the 11th house represents in part – group values.

                So, what is your favourite part of your chart?


                • So true about zapping people with Uranus in the 1st house! And very funny about Pluto in the 1st, that is some intensity you got going on there haha πŸ™‚

                  Thanks for the insights on the aspects and house placements. My 3rd house is Aquarius, and, like Uranus, I experienced trauma with siblings and have trouble communicating in social relationships, that’s why it was easier if I got drunk and took drugs, I could mingle easier in large groups then.

                  I’m looking to get a copy of the Pluto book asap, I found Jeffrey Green around a month ago and I really like him and the knowledge he shared.

                  Yes, I’m understanding the ego much more now, there was so much false information out there about getting rid of the ego which is not the case.

                  Pluto is transiting the second and is squaring or about to square all the natal planets in Libra which should be fun πŸ˜‰

                  My favorite aspect is Sun in an exact degree sextile to Uranus, 10th and 1st house, although it has also been the most traumatic, funny how that works hey? haha

                  What is yours? πŸ™‚


                  • You might like these links, I found them a while back while researching Pluto and Uranus. They have extracts from lots of different astrologers (including Jeff Green) and their views of the planets and their placement in signs and houses.

                    Having Uranus in the 1st is great fun as well as sometimes a lot of trouble. My natal Uranus is on the cusp of the 1st & 2nd houses, and amplified by a conjunction with Jupiter, so it affects my personal values (2nd) as well as my identity. And since it’s in Libra, I do a lot of swinging between extremes to find the sweet spot in between. I do love it even when it causes me grief, because it gives me a lot of bounceback-ability.

                    Pluto in the 1st is probably my favourite though, especially as it trines my Sun. More so at the moment as transiting Pluto is in a loose conjunction with my Sun, moving closer towards an exact conjunction. It allows for a lot of deep changes. It also creates a lot of problems, but like you said – funny how that works πŸ˜‰ I like taking myself apart and then putting myself back together differently. It’s a bit like dismantling a gadget, seeing what makes it tick… and when you put it back together there are always bits left over and Ihave no idea where they go and maybe I don’t need them to work πŸ˜‰ It also goes quite well with my Mars in Scorpio in the 3rd.

                    One of the things I enjoy doing, which can be insightful, is looking up famous people’s charts, especially if I relate to someone in some way – I often find a chart link and it helps to give me another perspective of my own chart’s energies. On Astrotheme you can search by astrological criteria, single or multiple, and find people with the same placements – http://www.astrotheme.com/celebrities/search_by_astrological_criteria.php – it’s an intriguing way to explore astrology. I’ve found that I am often drawn to people with Mars/Uranus/Mercury contacts. As well as people with Pluto in the 1st.

                    I used Astrotheme when I did this post – https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2014/01/25/one-lovely-blog-award-nomination-show-me-who-you-really-are-i-know-youre-in-there-hiding-its-time-to-come-out-and-play/

                    You might find this amusing too (not sure) – https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2013/06/14/flipping-astrology-nsfw-or-those-who-are-offended-by-swearing/

                    Wow! So if the Pluto/Uranus square is about to affect your Sun, like with me, then energies be wild and transformational, Pluto in Capricorn is shaking old structures (in the 2nd house that would be related to personal values) and Uranus in Aries is showing the path to rebuild and freedom from the old. Plus at the moment Mars is in Libra activating the square as is Jupiter in Cancer. Creating a transit t-square. There’s lots of info about its effects on astrology blogs.


    • I have a belief that before we decided to be born, we chose our parents, and they also reciprocated that choice. I believe it happens on a very deep soul level – having basically nothing to do with the personality and ego. So I think that maybe many of us with Chiron in the 7th chose dysfunctional parents, like narcissists, in order to provide them with a huge opportunity to learn about their wounds and their need to heal. Kind of an “accelerated opportunity” – there’s a LOT of muck to cut through and resolve with these fractured personality types, so it requires a heavy dose of transformational energy – which you could say, this Chiron placement and the way it’s aspected has a special capacity for. We mirror back their issues to them so heavily, that’s it’s almost undeniable. And yet, narcissists in particular are so compelled to dig themselves into deeper and deeper denial to protect that fragile ego, that instead of taking the opportunity to REALLY look in the mirror and see what’s going on, they just keep trying to change the mirror in order to get it to reflect back that almighty image they love to see. Hence all of the psychological warfare in order to force us make them feel good about themselves. And if we don’t deliver, we become the scapegoat who gets berated until the end of time.

      And that’s whole image/mirror thing is why I think the disorder gets labeled narcissism in the first place, by the way – you look at all the symptoms listed, that varies a little from narcissist to narcissist. But the one thing they all have in common is an obsession with WANTING their image to be great, wonderful, grandiose, etc. Every person they come into contact with serves as a mirror which can reflect back the image they want to see. If they can make you admire them, then they have a nice mirror to look at. If they can make you see them as a martyr (as you described with your mother, Ursula), then even better. But what if you reflect back their insecurities? Their selfishness? What if you reflect back what a raging asshole they are? (Although some, particularly men, indulge in this because of the power) What if you reflect back an image that is most certainly NOTHING worth admiration? First, they might try too hard to get you to change your mind about them. But if that never works, and you are a permanent fixture in their life, or worse – their child whom they can establish absolute power and control over – then you are in for quite the abusive ride. And god help us all when those children become teenagers and have a certain level of precocity behind their reflecting back…

      There is an amazing book, and a fairly small one, called “The Drama of the Gifted Child,” written by Alice Miller. She breaks it down very concisely why it is that highly empathic children can become such targets for abuse. It’s by no accident that children with a remarkable capacity for empathy (and compassion) all too often seem to be unfortunately born to selfish, self-serving parents. Starting as babies we picked up on so many things, so much sensitivity to our parent’s emotional needs, that they basically couldn’t help themselves from taking complete, total advantage of it. Through the process of taking advantage of our “emotional resources,” they basically turned into monsters. Always wanting more, expecting more. The more those needs got fed, the more they came to expect us to serve them. To the point of gigantic entitlement and demands.

      I think that narcissists who have never had children are probably a bit tamer than the ones who do. It’s not that I think that an empathic child turns them more into a greedy ego monster, but we present such a challenge that they basically have 2 options – either start to look and SEE their true reflections, and LEARN from it, for god’s sake. Or they defend their fragile ego by fighting to change the mirror.

      I’ve been typing rather haphazardly to hurry up and get my thoughts out while I have time to, so my ideas are a bit scattered here! I’d love to continue with this angle of the discussion, I’ve been pondering a lot lately on the types of dynamics in relationships, and the challenges people present each other with, and thinking of everything in terms of what the soul seeks to learn from such relationships.


      • Your natal Chiron conjunct Moon in Taurus can be seen in your words about your personal experience of the Chiron wound in the 7th. In the deep empathy you feel, and the emotional responsibility you have accepted for the wound, choosing to see that the pain which you have experienced in your relationship with your parents comes from you choosing them as parents, thus you have chosen this experience for your own evolution. There is an earthy beauty to the way you perceive your Chiron wound and all the facets of it.

        Chiron/Moon can cause the person who has it natally to feel that their emotions are blocked, unable to be expressed or felt, and the challenge is to work through it and unleash the very powerfully healing well of the emotional nature. With both parents having NPD, your emotions would have been blocked from the start, as narcissists are in many ways terrified of the emotions of others, and they tend to deny the emotions of their children from being expressed. This is often what happened to them when they were children, and in the way that Alice Miller describes, they pass on what was done to them by their parents when they were children to their own children when they are parents. Sometimes they do it by thinking that they are doing the exact opposite of what was done to them and they try to right and re-write a wrong done to them, and sometimes they do it because it is their turn to be the parent and have that kind of power over a child. They are re-living their wounding. They do it with everyone they interact with, but with their child the re-living of the wound takes them vividly back to their own childhood and wounding.

        The mirror effect is an element of the Moon, as its light comes from reflecting the light of the Sun. So it’s a very pertinent part of your Chiron/Moon, especially in the 7th which amplifies the reflection/projection between self and other. I love the way you’re exploring it and understanding it.

        Where’s your Mercury?

        And what else does your Chiron/Moon aspect?

        Where is your natal Pluto? Is it in the 12th?

        And how has the transit of Saturn in Scorpio been affecting you? It’s in your 1st?

        When we explore our pasts, we also need to explore the present, because those are the eyes which are looking back.

        Don’t worry about scattered ideas, they have a way of coming together, and their connections and meaning are easier to see when you don’t try to tidy them up before you express them πŸ™‚


        • Wow… Thanks for imparting so much insight there! That’s extremely perceptive of you. The moon acting as a mirror and doubling up with Chiron has never occurred to me before.
          Have you read Alice Miller?

          Your guesses (based on my descendant/rising degrees, I assume!) are accurate – Pluto is in the 12th (plenty of childhood crap for sure) and Saturn has been walking his nose-to-the-grindstone walk through my 1st. It’s quite a jarring transition, coming out of the 14 or so years of Saturn transiting my 7-12 houses. I assumed all the isolating feelings came from a combination of Mars retrograding my 12th and being a single mother now to a young child, but I recently did a little reading on Saturn transits. Blaaaaaah. Lol… Saturn traversing my 1st came on strong early last year when my son was just about 6 months old and I began to realize that I was going to have to leave his father and be thrust head first into this thing called survival. True to form, I became very, very serious. Life itself became a very serious thing.

          Mercury is in the 10th in Leo. Here, I’ll just post my chart link:

          Would you post a link to your chart? Or if it’s in a blog already reference that?


          • My chart is here – https://anupturnedsoul.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/tumblr_mi9j3xasua1re6oiho1_1280.jpg

            Yes, I have read several of Alice Miller’s books. I love her work and perspective it’s very insightful. The Drama of the Gifted Child is excellent, really makes one aware of what may have been passed on unconsciously from generation to generation, and what can be continued to be passed along like an heirloom of the psyche. I also like the work of R.D. Laing, Theodore Rubin, Alexander Lowen, Eric Berne, and many others. My favourite book is Going Mad to Stay Sane by Andy White, but it’s very hard to find although he did say it might soon be reprinted, as it completely captured my family dynamic and explained it to me, and explained a lot about me too πŸ™‚

            You have a fascinating chart. Lots going on. No wonder Mars transiting your 12th has been extra tough, it’s conjuncting Pluto/Mars/Venus, and those three planets are involved in the Grand Cross, with Uranus in opposition and Pluto squaring them. Powerful transformative energy. Transiting Jupiter is sort of the benefactor of the transformation going on, as in your chart it is in the 9th house of opportunity, philosophy, and travel into new lands – not just physical travel but also exploring new ways of seeing things and being.

            Transiting Saturn in the 1st tends to force us to take stock of who we are. It can feel very restrictive and stern, but ultimately the discipline it brings is beneficial, even if it doesn’t feel that way at the time. T-Saturn also conjuncted your Uranus, and opposed your Chiron/Moon. Uranus in the 1st tends to be fiercely independent and loves its freedom above all else, so when Saturn conjuncted it you might have felt like your freedom was being severely limited, which may have pushed you to explore the 7th house and Chiron/Moon, and use your mind (Mercury, which Uranus aspects) to really delve into your experiences (especially as Pluto is transiting the 3rd (house of the mind) and find a way to break free.

            Energy tends to travel along the aspect lines in our charts, one planet and energy communicating with another, joining forces, sometimes arguing, but always interacting, blending energies and influencing each other. I love exploring the connections. πŸ™‚


  17. Just found your blog and I am totally interested in your thoughts about Chiron in the 7th house. I too (like another) believe we choose our parents and they choose us. My parents were both emotionally absent and for me Sun in Pisces, Moon in Aquarius….I have felt very orphaned in a sense. I have had a long term relationship (21 years) and is now changing into a new form- not clearly defined as we have children and are committed to being as honorable and dedicated as we can to each other’s process and our children’s . And our contract is being rewritten. In reading your post, I remembered an astrological reading I had in 2012 and I discovered the Chiron in my relationship house. We spoke about the wound being mine, his or the healer/healing piece being mine/his or both? Today after reading your blog, I thought wow, this contract thing for me is perhaps a realization how I have sacrificed myself for the betterment of my partner in so many ways and perhaps that was my karmic agreement, which feels like it is complete. It’s interesting because from the outside, he has taken care of me, is the financial provider for our family. In truth, I am scared out of my wits and the grief process can be very intense at moments. I think I have been operating with a blindness to the depth of my wisdom and the true support I have been holding space for him, We have unconsciously always identified me as “the patient” in our relationship which feel like its been a disguise? (this is really a new thought so I am feeling vulnerable putting it out there). I am really intrigued by astrology but haven’t educated myself to really understand more fully. Any thoughts you can share would be great as I continue my searches. Namaste, Michelle


    • Thank you πŸ™‚

      Have you read the work of Caroline Myss – http://www.myss.com/library/contracts/ – she delves into what she terms ‘Sacred Contracts’. Your words reminded me of her work.

      This post gives a very intriguing insight into the 7th, which you might find interesting – http://beyondthestarsastrology.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/the-7th-house-the-shadow-self/

      Also, a very good book for understanding the chart and relationships from an astrological and psychological angle is – Through the Looking Glass: A Search for the Self in the Mirror of Relationships by Richard Idemon – it’s in transcript from astrology seminars + Q & A form, which makes it a bit difficult to read as you can’t just look up the bits in your chart, you sort of need to read it all, but it’s a wonderful and insightful read. I love the fact that it’s a conversation about astro-psychology and since it is about relationships it’s alive with relating. It deals quite a bit with the Moon’s influence in relationships. Very interesting.

      The best place to start getting to know your chart and how all the separate parts interact, so that you can become comfortable with understanding astrology is on – http://www.astro.com/ – many of the features are free. You pop in your birth data, create your chart then try out the Astro Click Portrait in the Free Horoscopes section. That gives you a navigation for your chart and lots of info. That particular chart does not deal with Chiron, but there’s loads of info on the site.

      The thing about a placement like Chiron in the 7th, or any placement in the natal chart, is that it is a part of a whole, and there are many things to be considered. What sign is Chiron in? Is the 7th house in one sign, does it have more than one sign in it? What plantest does Chiron aspect, are the aspects hard or easy?

      And with a partnership it is also worth looking into synastry and composite charts, relationship charts, which show how your natal chart interacts with your partner’s or your parents.

      This site has lots of information about relationship astrology – http://sasstrology.com/2014/06/why-partners-are-drawn-to-your-most-troublesome-natal-energies.html

      There are also transits to consider and look into because these stimulate our natal chart. Trigger our charts and the energies within them. For instance – If your Sun is in Pisces then the influence of transiting Neptune and transiting Chiron need to be explored as they are both now in Pisces, so a conjunction from one or both of those with your Sun would trigger a transformation.

      This is a good post about a Sun/Chiron transit – http://www.moonkissd.com/2011/03/21/chiron-a-change-in-attitude/

      There are times in our lives when we are ready to become aware of things about ourselves which have been dormant, we were not ready before but now is the time, so something happens to wake us up and open our eyes. What you have shared about discovering more about your own wisdom and strength, and seeing that perhaps a role you have been experiencing – the patient – has now reached the point where you are choosing to see it differently, question it, explore and understand it from another perspective, is expressive of being at a transformative phase. Sleeping beauty wakes up. It’s a wonderful experience but also one where you will feel fragile and vulnerable, in being open to something new you enter new territory and it is scary but also exciting.

      Sometimes we need to crack our shells open to let ourselves out because we’re ready to grow πŸ™‚

      Best wishes and blessings πŸ™‚


      • Thank you so much for sharing post and thoughts…..feeling fragile and vulnerable but hopeful…all blessings to you too.


      • found Venus and Saturn and Chiron in the 7th house, in Aries. And have not read Caroline Myss “Sacred Contracts”but will look into it. Thanks again for all the info…my search continues πŸ™‚


        • There’s a very good book which helps to understand the houses, as well as how each planet operates in a house – The Twelve Houses by Howard Sasportas. He is a very good astrologer. The book is easy to read and understand. He worked with Liz Greene in developing psychological astrology, so it focuses on using astrology to help you understand your psychology.

          Saturn’s effect in the 7th will have a strong influence on how your experience your relationships and it is very worth exploring this placement. Saturn tends to teach through discipline and restriction – it sort of tames our wild side and enables us to harness those energies.

          Also transiting Uranus’ effect on the 7th and any Aries placements is worth exploring because Uranus stirs everything it touches us, creates a need for change, rebellion and freedom from restrictions, things like that. It is squaring transiting Pluto and astrologers have been discussing this powerful aspect for a while as it is bringing majors changes for all of us on a global and personal level. The personal level will be found in the houses they affect either by transiting that house or aspecting our natal placements.

          Some astro blogs you might enjoy perusing are:


          Best wishes and blessings for your journey of self-discovery, it’s one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves, to know ourselves better πŸ™‚


  18. Hello,

    I was interested to read your post because I will have chiron transiting my 7th house soon.
    But I was worried by something you said, that people offer help and you push it away. I haven’t seen your life so I don’t know if that is what is happening, but I have been studying NVC, and what I learned there is that often people offer help, advice or commiseration, because that is what we have been brought up to do as a society, but what is really needed is empathy and just understanding of what another person is going through. Offering help when it isn’t asked for or offering commiseration implies that one party is weak and in need of help and the other is strong and superior, whereas empathy is respectful and values the other person as an equal, maybe that is what is going on for you.


    • Hi.

      That’s a good point. I agree about empathy and understanding being more helpful than the socially correct gestures of commiseration and advice. They are respectful because they honour all lives as being equal.

      It reminds me of something which I learned many years ago about healing. How you can only help someone else if they ask for your help. If you try to help someone who has not asked for help, then you trespass over a personal boundary between the two of you. You can offer to help, but if they decline your assistance you must respect their will – even if you think they really could use your help, even if you think they’re making a mistake or doing something wrong, etc. You can state your case, but you must respect their decision.

      One of the best ways we learn is through our own experience, if someone keeps stepping in and stopping us from having our experiences we can’t learn from them, even if they are stepping in because they’re being helpful. If someone keeps stepping in and forcing their help on you they give you the impression that you can’t do anything for yourself, and that whittles away at your confidence. As does being pitied. Sometimes the greatest gift of help we can give to someone is by not helping them, but by being there if they need us. Support which is non-invasive and respectful. Which says you can do this, and I have your back.

      I used to push all help away because I wanted to do things for myself. I did go to the extreme of it (natal Pluto/Uranus in 1st house is stubbornly independent). But that extreme was a reaction to growing up in a very invasive environment. Both my parents were narcissists. I had very little personal space. And I found that most of the help I was given for my benefit was not for my benefit at all, the help was actually others helping themselves and I often ended up worse off.

      I have a Neptune theme which is prone to giving until I’m empty and then giving more, and so some of what I do in pushing away has to do with that. There have been many times that my accepting help has resulted in me ending up giving help instead of getting it. So I’ve had to do a lot of work on maintaining healthy boundaries.

      These days I have a more balanced approach (I have a busy 1st versus 7th house axis). When I need help I ask for it and accept it when it is offered. If someone offers to help when I have not asked for it, I consider their view and make a decision based on logic. Sometimes they are right and I need their help. Sometimes they’re interfering. And there are certain people whose offers of help are motivated by a desire to get rather than give. They are going through the motions partly because it makes them feel superior (like you pointed out) and they like the way it looks on them.

      I have Chiron transiting my 7th, it’s still a long way from a Chiron return. And I should point out that my natal Chiron is conjunct my North Node – that makes it a bit trickier to suss out because there are two astrological conversations going on at the same time. So it could be my NN which gives me more grief than Chiron. And they oppose my Uranus/Jupiter, so there’s also a lot of push-me/pull-you going on.

      Overall I would say that Chiron transiting the 7th is a healing transit, both for the self and for others. I’m finding it to be a healing through sharing journey and it is a wonderful experience (perhaps it’s amplified by t-Neptune). More so because I’m being thoroughly zapped by the Uranus/Pluto square, it’s hitting my Sun square Saturn. The Sun square Saturn aspect also affects the pushing help away thing, most of my chart does for varying reasons. Which is why when looking at transits and natal placements it’s important to view it as a whole.

      So be sure to look at all the conversations between the placements in your chart, follow the aspect lines and the energy flowing along them, both natal and transit. If transiting Chiron hits any of your natal placements, then those placements will be drawn into the story of your Chiron transit.

      By NVC do you mean Nonviolent communication? Have you been studying for a while or is this recent. If it’s recent was it perhaps inspired by t-Chiron approaching your 7th. That seems to fit in a poetic manner, as communication is a great wounder and healer.

      Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚


      • Loved your post. You really have a knack for writing. I also have Chrion (retrograde) in the seventh house, Pluto in the 12th along with Saturn and Jupiter. Im jusssssssst figuring out the energy of Chiron. It’s helping me to study about it. I swear I’m basically becoming an astrologer because I need to help myself so much in these areas.
        One positive thing about this position is that it makes you extremely charismatic and generally, people want to be around you. Both you and I know though, that it’s not without a price. I hope you and I can have some relief in this department, along with everyone else that suffers these draining relationship issues. The way you helped your mother might need to be acknowledged (by YOU) to great degree. It is no easy task to be born with already having someone else to take care of. You probably never had the chance to be a kid, and I know what that’s like….I ALSO know what it’s like to complain about the stress of these responsibilities and be handed MORE. It’s as if the world forgot about us somehow, but I doubt theirs any real need to have anyone understand ..because maybe that’s the whole point of this situation of ours. The only ones who understand this is US.and although it may not seem like it, that IN ITSELF is an ability we have that many others don’t. ..and that ability can be applied to many other areas ..not just this one.This wound can heal, as long as it’s always made known, and acknowledged for the memorial of innocent victims that it is. Thank you sooo much for posting this ..I honestly really enjoyed it and it helped me immensely.


        • Thank you very much πŸ™‚

          The best way to learn about astrology, IMO, is to explore it through understanding your chart. It comes alive. Bit by bit things fall into place. And my favourite part about viewing myself and my life through the astrological eye is that it offers both the positive and the negative and all the shades in between of a sign, planet, placement and aspect. So there is a lot of balance.

          Chiron is a tricky placement to explore because it is still fairly new, so information is still being gathered by astrologers. There is however a lot of good information on it. I find the work which Eric Francis has done to be very insightful as he also uses asteroids to flesh out the picture of Chiron – he uses the other centaurs – http://planetwaves.net/chiron/ . I also found this blog post about Chiron interesting – http://www.moonkissd.com/2011/03/21/chiron-a-change-in-attitude/

          I think it was Barbara Hand Clow who spoke about the ‘charismatic’ side of Chiron in the 7th. I’m not sure if I agree about that, although I can see how it could work. Where I differ on that view is mostly down to my particular placement of Chiron, the aspects it forms – it’s conjunct my North Node which confuses it a bit more for me and I’m part of the generation which has natal Chiron opposing Pluto/Uranus conjunct. So there’s a lot going on which needs to be sorted out.

          And that’s just it – you can read all the interpretation available on the planet, sign, house position, aspects, etc, but you have to personalise it, put it all together and get the personal narrative which works for you. Then there are also the transits and their influence. It’s an intricate tapestry of each of us individually… as well as the collective correlations.

          I do think that Chiron in the 7th is both wonderful and difficult – Chiron is always a challenge as it’s a wound which never heals, but also much healing lies within the wound which never heals.

          Right now, t-Chiron is in my 7th, closing in on a return, and this is bringing into focus many old relationship, patterns of relating, shadows – http://beyondthestarsastrology.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/the-7th-house-the-shadow-self/ – all of which are being exposed to possible healing… if I’m ready and willing to claim it, and then share it – sharing is an important element of the 7th.

          I love what you’ve shared – very insightful. I agree with much of it. My experience of Chiron in the 7th changed a lot when I stopped wanting others to understand me, decided that all that mattered was for me to understand myself and others – strangely enough (or not) that attitude shift has attracted a lot more understanding of me from others. Which is weirdly wonderful πŸ™‚

          Thank you for sharing, much appreciated!


  19. I too find this very interesting. Thanks for sharing. I am a bit opposite to you – I have pluto and north node on the virgo asc. (6-8 degrees – technically pluto and the nn are in the 12th). And then venus is opposing in the pisces, 7.house (11 degrees, also quite close to the desc). So I have had the sick/martyr/controlling mother as well. My natal chiron was in the 6th house, but now transit chiron is in the 7th house – conjuncting progressive sun (at 17 degrees). I sense it presents itself as a lot of issues with my partner – both feeling like victims and playing martyrs. And it doesn’t help that transit neptune now is on my fishy self sacrificing south node opposing pluto. From being an active extrovert carrier minded woman I have now for the last 3 years been struggling with chemical sensitivities (to perfume etc), food intolerances and more (after a flood brought on mold exposure) that isolates me together with my more and more grumpy partner. I feel to weak to go out into the world alone, and my partner doesn’t wan’t to go out very much, so more and more, I am on the internet trying to help other peeps with the same issues as myself (reflecting the chiron influence I guess). But I miss my old self and my old life. Being independent and stronger. So many people find it hard to believe that I am struggling the way I do with food and chemicals. Before I was living a very urban life (partys, art, fashion..), now I go around collecting wild veggies and sea weed in order to get enough food options – many of the people I knew before find it odd – they think I am suffering from some kind of anorexia. And the truth is I am foodie, never been afraid of being fat, never dieting, now I am just reacting like crazy (breathing issues, pericarditis becoming worse, red eyes, mouth lesions) every time I eat most foods. So I feel sad from not feeling I am believed and supported. Because of all this I fear I am turning into my mother – being the martyr towards my teenage son as she was towards me – even though I am trying hard to control it. Hope this is not too much of a martyr talking here. Would like some input on how to manage this situation with some grace – and in a way that is also tolerable to me.


    • Thank you πŸ™‚

      This – my fishy self sacrificing – made me chuckle. I have to confess that’s my attitude towards my Pisces stuff too. Especially my Venus in Pisces who is always trying to accommodate and please other people, and gets upset when it can’t or when everything given is never enough, then it goes into martyr mode.

      Sometimes we give to other people what we actually need ourselves rather than what they need from us, we project our needs onto them and try to satisfy our needs through other people, this can cause confusion and complications, particularly if they do the same with us. If we give to others what we should be giving to ourselves and we take from ourselves to give to others… and they don’t appreciate it because it’s not what they want, and we feel that we’ve been robbed somehow of precious substance… we can get to a point where we’re always running on empty and angry about it, but we can’t admit it to ourselves because of how we’ve structured our story. So no one is happy or getting what they need or want and things get a bit stuck in a vicious cycle.

      Whenever you are tackling something which has a Chiron/Wounded Healer influence, the healing and wound are intricately linked.

      Look at the wound which has your attention and figure out what the healing which the wound contains really is.

      For instance – Is the problem really that others don’t believe you about your food allergies and chemical sensitivities, that they don’t accept the change which has occurred in your life and therefore are not supportive or is it that you don’t accept it because it has completely transformed your life and you haven’t adjusted because part of you does not want to adjust? You’re still attached to who you were and how you lived before, and your focus is captured by those who confirm to you that the situation is ‘unbelievable’ in other words – you don’t want to believe it either.

      Did this change coincide with any of the midlife (crisis) transits? Neptune square Neptune, Uranus opposition Uranus, Pluto square Pluto. Or is it linked in any way to the Uranus/Pluto square transit of recent years. Did it occur when Neptune transited your 6th (house of health and daily life)?

      A quick overview can be found here – http://kellysurteesastrology.wordpress.com/2011/08/22/astrology-and-mid-life-2/

      Chiron teaches in many ways that there is a flip side to everything. That something which we view as a source of pain can also be a blessing in disguise. Rather than focusing on what has been lost – which needs to be done as part of the process, but not become a settling place – the mind must also see what has been gained because of the loss. Humans are survivalists, great at adapting and making the best of the worst. Sometimes the worst opens a door for us into something new, which at first looks awful, but later proves to be an opportunity to experience a new way of being and living.

      From what you’ve shared, you’re acquiring some new and useful skills. Since Chemical and Food Sensitivity is on the increase, and awareness about it is still in its initial stages, you could be at the forefront of not only raising awareness but also providing solutions to something which can completely alter a person’s life. You could be a pioneer – using your wound to heal yourself and others… but first you have to accept your new life, accept the wound to accept the healing it offers.

      The stages involved in accepting your new life could be, if you catalogue the process and share it, very helpful to others who are experiencing a similar situation. But first you have to benefit from the process, accept it, live it, understand it, work through it. There are others who have also been through what you are going through who can share their process with you and help you with it. And you can pass on their help. And the best of human interaction and communication comes to the fore.

      You can turn being a martyr into being an active healer. The choice is yours. The martyr side needs to be acknowledged and then used as an inspirational spur to go beyond it.

      Have you come across the work of Caroline Myss – Woundology, in particular. She also did a series about Archetypes, including the Wounded Healer.

      This is #3 of a series about Woundology – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nxaSDBfPvo

      This is about The Wounded Healer Archetype – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3Gc-6tPw-Y

      You don’t sound like a martyr. You sound like someone going through a very challenging and difficult change. And it sounds to me as though you are handling the situation with grace, perhaps you’re being too hard on yourself – Virgo/Pisces influences can cause a certain tendency to be soft towards others and hard on the self – and you need to offer yourself more compassion. Accept being human. Be gentle with yourself. Let yourself be vulnerable and allow others to offer a helping hand – maybe you’re trying to be too independent and strong as you were before, and maybe now is the time to experience being dependent upon others, not through weakness but because others need to help you and you need to accept it because you need it. Relationships flow both ways.

      Life has a balance – if one scale is over-weighted, life tends to shift weight to the other scale, so we experience both sides, eventually learning balance, and the ability to shift sides.

      Hopes this helps a bit.

      Best wishes!

      There are many variations and perspectives on one situation, the more views we have, the more the picture becomes rich with colour.


      • Your story about helping others when they actually should be helping you, because they are your parents, teachers, or therapist…. I’ve always had this but just realized it when Chiron transited my 7th house of Pisces… This was just recently (like 3 y ago?) I also got very sick and still recovering. It is definitly pointing to pain that needs to be healed.

        I always wondered why my 7th was empty. I guess it was a future realisation of something that happened all along. I never and still really understand my Virgo 1st and 2nd house and pisces 7th and 8th.

        So far I haven’t found many people who can actually help me or stick with me and actually ASK -ME-. My boyfriend is one. Most of the people just get mad and then desert me. Like it’s not worth it for them, or… worse… they cannot face there demons and there for are unable to talk to me.
        It always made me wonder what I carry with me.
        My Chiron is in 10th Gemini opposed to Saturn in 3rd along with Pluto in 3rd. For me it is difficult to find my “niche” in the society as an other website said… and also to trust my own wisdom (hence the endless quotations).
        It’s hard for me to find people in my direct surroundings with the same values. Or we think alike but something feels awkward actually talking.

        btw this sounds familiar as well:
        “One of the dreams I kept secret, one of my bubbles I managed to protect from being popped, was the belief that once I was old enough to escape the reality my parents had created for me to live in I would find a true and lovely reality out in the real world. That bubble popped when I entered the real world and found that it was made up of millions upon millions of alternate realities none of which suited me or welcomed me with open arms. ”

        And this part ROCKS:
        If you blame yourself for everything and do not assign any blame to anyone else, you end up victimising yourself, and this leaves you just as powerless as when you assign all of the blame to the other person. But. What if this particular dynamic is the wound itself.

        Completely true!! I have a therapist who also says this… you are responsible for yourself. And I feel like a baby again wondering if it is fair that my mom had trouble embracing my love.

        You know every baby gives love. I know this deep down, but I also want to look away immediately.. Do you know ho’noponono? It’s hawain. It is about forgiveness and acceptance. It sais: you cannot be blamed for you weren’t aware yet.

        Love to stay in contact, I guess you can see my email?


        • you best contact me through jules at notepad dot nl . I wanted to use a nickname πŸ™‚ btw just saw something on parental narcism scale on your about page. … aha… my parents arent’ bad they are both rather hidden narcisicits.. in NEED because of things they had to go through with their parents..
          Yeah so that rings a bell or ten.. πŸ˜‰


          • p.s.
            I realized this week, that: we come to this world with light (yang) and love (yin).. as we old souls are carrying a lot of information, coming to an environment which triggers these “memories”, will help you release them. As a child your aura contracts and you absorb everything around you. now we need to let go again. We absorb it also because it’s already inside us, as we experienced it in another “life”.


          • btw.. ps ps
            I actually felt a lot better after I wrote all this down.
            My fear: that you might feel worse. Probably because I absorbed everything.
            I realized I should let my inner sun shine, which I now understand is my inner yang. Can talk for hours. Sorry. Lack structure.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚

              When dealing with Chiron, I think it does indeed help to write about it as that way you reveal what is hidden about it, the story within the story, and a lot about the Chiron wound is hidden, the biggest part of which is the healing for the wound – the wound holds within it what it needs to heal, but to find that healing you need to explore the wound, expose it, go into it.

              However the wound will never heal completely, because it gives more than it takes, and to keep giving it has to stay sore. But the quality of what hurts changes as we release the healing within it. The pain of it becomes an ally rather than an enemy.

              When exploring Chiron, it’s a good idea to keep in mind all the connections it makes to other parts of your natal chart, as well as transits. All those connections are a dialogue, an inner conversation which bleeds into the outer world.

              For instance, I don’t do email connected to my blog (sorry about that). This is very much connected to my Chiron conjunct North Node, opposing my 1st house, and Uranus conjunct Jupiter. It’s also very much Virgo rising, with Virgo Moon in 12th conjunct Asc (I bring the hermit to introversion). This is not about others, but about me – me creating a balance for myself, and therefore in my interactions with others. I’m still working on it, probably won’t ever figure it out, and will make many more mistakes along the way, especially in relationships and communication with others.

              I read this recently – http://astrology.about.com/od/themoonsnodes/qt/Aries-libra-Moon-Nodes-In-The-Birth-Chart.htm – which clarified things a bit more for me. Having Chiron connected to the nodes in hard aspect confuses matters, but can also unravel the knots a bit (or make them knottier).

              If you read that sites entry for the nodes in Gemini/Sagittarius… I think it actually may shed some light on Chiron in Gemini, and in the 10th, perhaps better than the write ups about Chiron in the 10th. Something you said tied in with what I read here – http://astrology.about.com/od/ChartPartsPoints/qt/Gemini-sagittarius-Moon-Nodes-In-The-Birth-Chart.htm

              It says:

              “However, there comes a point when these people are in the midst of sharing what they know to people – and one person will ask them the deadliest of questions:

              β€œWell, what does that mean to YOU?” β€œWhat do YOU think?”

              And, herein lies the evolutionary step forward: these people are here to figure out what THEY think about what they know. In other words – they must find within the labyrinth of information, their own personal belief and truth…”

              And you said – “…and also to trust my own wisdom (hence the endless quotations).”

              Chiron in the 10th is a wound about social status. Gemini needs to communicate. Thus you feel your Chiron wound most in social communication.

              Whatever Chiron connects with, explains more about the story of your personal Chiron wound, and the healing of it.

              So, what is the story of your Pluto/Saturn in the 3rd (the house of communication). Pluto in the 3rd tends to think very deeply, intensely, is unafraid to discuss what is ‘taboo’ – this can scare the crap out of others. Pluto partnered up with Saturn – which tends to act like the sandpaper of truth seeking – when you communicate with others, they may feel as though you’re dipping them in acid. You know you’re doing this to bring to light the natural beauty of who they really are underneath layers of paint and veneer… however for them this could feel as though you’re flaying them alive. They feel raw and what they want is to feel coddled. A lot of people see themselves as being the paint and veneer, take that away and they’re afraid of losing everything they believe to be themselves.

              You’re a natural lie detector, however for some people their ‘lies’ are their truth. Take that away and they are falling into an abyss. You may feel at home in the abyss, but they don’t. Not everyone sees their demons as friends and playmates. For some those demons are monsters to perpetually keep hidden and to run as far away from them as possible. Anyone who is comfortable with the dark side of human nature, tends to make those who aren’t comfortable with it want to run away from them. They don’t reject you for being yourself, they are rejecting themselves, the part of them they do not want to get to know.

              If your Saturn and Pluto are in Sagittarius, then you’re probably not particularly tactful when communicating with others. Social niceties probably bore you to death and you refuse to play that game. But others love this game, it’s the foreplay of relationships. With Virgo/Pisces on your relating axis of you versus others, 1st/7th houses – others will always feel to you like they are being overly sensitive, and rather whiny about it. They need a lollipop before, during and after they get a shot from their doctor. You, on the other hand, probably give your lollipop to the doctor to recover from giving you a shot. I bet when you were very ill, you downplayed it. Was Neptune transiting your 6th (house of health)?

              From what you’ve told me about your chart, I’d say that your greatest natural skills are also your biggest stumbling block. If you can figure out a way where you can communicate your information, understanding and deep insight in a way that people are willing to hear it, perhaps by offering it so that those who want it come and get it, and those who don’t want it are responsible for staying clear of it rather than making you responsible for it, then you’ll find your ‘community’ and ‘niche’. Your ‘niche’ is something you’re going to have to create for yourself as it probably hasn’t been created which is why you can’t find it. If you create it, you’ll probably find others flocking to it, relieved to have found a ‘niche’ where they belong.

              It’s always worth experimenting, you never know what the experiment will yield – that’s my Uranus/Jupiter talking.

              Sometimes you’ll get the same old same old stuff, but every now and then you get something very different and new and it’s a buzz which keeps you going, being you, shining with your individual light (which doesn’t blind everyone who looks at it). πŸ˜‰

              Liked by 1 person

              • Uhu you are spot on..

                It’s not only I give my lollypop to the doctor (or mother) but also it seems they whine until I do. And then seem very pleased with the lollipop.
                Lol. I can laugh about it all but certain things weigh on me too heavily that it takes the air out of my lungs sometimes. It’s like I also have to take credit for the dark side of other people…

                Well.. I will read your comment a few times because it is very valuable to me! I think It will be something that teaches me something new about the same every time i read it.

                It is true: I created a niche for wombtwins or vanishing twin survivors, and one for B12 deficiency. (hence the name Tyras, which i gave to a 2nd personality which later turned out to be my twinbrother. Call me jules, 29y old girl.
                It worked like a charm. I helped a lot of people and it is carried on by others as well. I love it!
                But this was through internet. I am very scared to be myself and do this, for a living.

                You were right about the strengths being my blockes as well.

                My sun and moon are both in Gemini, my mercury, ceres and mars are just around the corner of the next house in Cancer. My rising sign is also connected to mercury.
                And it happens to be that my progressed chart forms Saturn square Mercury and my latest Solar return as well (or opposite).

                Neptune did transit my 6th as did Uranus. I read that the health problems usually come after they leave the 6th.
                Also, Pluto transited my Chiron, moon, sun, ceres, mercury and mars for a long time in opposition. It was exhausting. The real trouble stared when Saturn transited Gemini. All color disappeared from my life. It never got well after that. My mum is a Taurus so she just got through that Saturn conjunction, so then my parents divorced. The color did not disappear because of the divorce but because my mother kept telling me about all her misery and there was no end to it!

                I have Neptune oppose all the planets that pluto transited. It was a real carwash experience. Wrung out, and wrung out again.

                Pluto and Saturn in 3rd are in scorpio.. Im from ’85, so that also does not make me very tactful I guess. (18-06 11:34) you can take a look if you want.

                Somehow I also dont’ feel like it is my fault, I feel I want to get rid of the tension, so that might be why I communicate in an awkward manner. But… it makes me feel like a helpless child. I don’t know what to do about it. Gosh I learned so much last years when I decided I wouldn’t take no for an answer.
                Every one kept telling me there was nothing wrong while I just became compost or something lol.
                Read a lot and learned a lot about communication. Relationships as well!! Dr Pat Allen and the mars-venus man. Yes… relationships dynamics πŸ™‚

                This is also spot on.
                β€œWell, what does that mean to YOU?” β€œWhat do YOU think?”
                It makes me feel like… hoooooo no that… wait a minute.. I was coming to that.. I just… need to tell you first this and then… I can feel…. (mercury in cancer) … what i think.

                I have to tell you that all this ( my mother somehow accidentally taking on a roll of covert narcisist) caused me to not even knowing what I like, not wanting anything, not having any motivation whatsoever. I do have a life, but it comes back at me!

                I found this video yesterday. A guy talks to his dad who reacts with narcissistic behavior, his grandmom going along with the dad (but only when he is around)

                2:50 – 3:30
                They way he stumbles over his words, they way it all feels like: okay it doesn’t matter, never mind…

                These were moments when I tried to explain ME and then my mother got in the way with AN oppinion and then when I was completely exhausted said: okay so what do you want to say? And than I tried explaining using other peoples prove, to make my point and then that would be swept away by: no but what do YOU think? I want to know what you think..

                I never had arguments at home, until I was older. I have had very strange conversations with my mom about little things. Because it was just the two of us and I would not give up we finally came to an understanding. I would just not stop until she would understand me. It was horrible to do, not just for me, but to also have to “held her hostage”.
                Lots and lots of crap comes out like: I cannot move in my own house, I have asked you to remove it time and time again. I would just stay calm and say: I have been very ill until 6 months ago and now I am doing all I can to work 5 days a week. Stop trying to make the rules under my roof, I cannot even decide what is going on under my roof! You are always blocking me. etc etc.

                When I was younger I would just stop. I would get confused by the gaslighting.

                I guess here is a big part of my wound.

                Just been battered so many times, I just don’t see the point! It is a shame but it is a big part of me right now so I guess I need to keep working on it.

                About the wound…
                I think… It is okay to heal. I think we will carry everything we need to know with us, regardless of the wound once we learn. Like you said the wound is there to remind us something is not right. Once we gave that part our attention, acknowledgment and forgiveness it can rest.

                We will never forget it, but that is just it. We might be so affraid we forget and have to go through it all again… But that is not the case.

                I had a lot of trouble letting go the pain I felt losing my twin brother in the womb. It made me feel home-less. I was scared that when I would let go of the pain, he would dissapair, that i would forget.
                But that is not the case. We are just affraid.

                Perhaps Chiron is also about that what we don’t want to forget!

                So glad you answered me! very very glad and don’t worry about the email. I get it. πŸ˜‰

                You pointed me to some valuable points.


                • Thank you for sharing that πŸ™‚

                  The video was interesting.

                  I watched it first without thinking about your perspective and personal take on it.

                  Then I reviewed it from your perspective.

                  I can see how you related to that guy’s experience, however I would say that your approach to your relationship with your mother went deeper than his did with his father and other family members, because you are aware of your part in the interactions which you had with your mother and you were genuinely trying to find a bridge of communication between the two of you, whereas the guy in the video was being rather deliberately dense (and being slightly pot calling kettle black).

                  His video starts with a set up, a storyline of how wonderful he was being and how unreasonable everyone else was. Since the interaction which caused the problem is not on film we only have his word for how it actually went down.

                  He kept provoking his family members, he kept the drama going, he also sucked his mother into it, then used the whole thing to express something which may be true but came across as rather staged. He struck me as being the real source of the drama which unfolded, and his dad was his scapegoat.

                  Now, of course, I’m just a stranger watching something I know nothing about. I don’t know this guy, don’t know his family, don’t know their history, etc. I don’t have enough information. I do however have my experience of watching two narcissists play cat and mouse with each other, and that’s what the video reminded me of. There were some elements which appeared contradictory to the story being presented and sold to the viewer.

                  When we genuinely want someone else to understand us, we need to take the time to understand them. If you want to communicate with someone else, you have to learn about their style of communication. Want to talk to someone who speaks a foreign language, what’s the best way to do that?

                  It can seem unfair that you have to do so much work just to communicate with someone, surely they should meet you halfway at least, however if you’re the one who wants to have the communication, and they seem to suck at it, then you’re the one who has to do the work. The work that you do is for your benefit, and it may eventually benefit others.

                  Your story about your mother reminds me somewhat of my story with mine. The moment my mother found out that she could confide all of her problems in me, that became our relationship. I was her therapist, there to listen to her talk (and talk and talk in endless circles) about herself, her problems, etc. My mother started doing that when I was a very young child, however it didn’t hit its stride until I was a teenager.

                  In my chart, transitwise, it coincided with the last time Saturn was in Scorpio in my 3rd house. Saturn in the 3rd has a way of revealing the nitty-gritty of communication.

                  Btw, you’re about to have a Saturn return – those are always very intense periods. Everything gets very serious. Deal with the serious of Saturn and your reward is a release of a burden of some sort.

                  Pluto has certain similarities with Saturn. Deal with the deep dark Hades of Pluto and you get to shed a skin which restricts your growth. As someone who has Pluto in the 1st, skin-shedding is a regular feature. Hurts like hell, but once it’s off… what a feeling! You can recreate yourself in a more authentic form. You sort of get rid of the stuff which gets stuck to you, but which isn’t you. Maybe it was once… but is no longer. It was part of your journey through life, but you no longer need to carry it once it has taught you whatever it had to teach you.

                  Trust yourself, the flow of you through life, and of life through you.

                  Your story about your twin… wow… very intriguing, deeply so. Really touches the heart of Chiron in Gemini.


  20. I don’t know if you will see this since your posts was long ago. But I swear reading this.. I was almost reading about myself!! I would love to sit and have a conversation with you if the opportunity ever presented itself! I also have my chiron in my 7th house – its in taurus. It opposes mars, venus and Uranus in my first house Scorpio.
    I am a Virgo and my mother is a Pisces… so much of what you have said has resonated with me. The wounded healer… sitting with counselors and therapists and listening to THEM TELL ME about their lives!!! IT ALWAYS HAPPENS!!
    I hope to read more!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚

      It seems that those with Chiron in the 7th always end up being the ones who listen to others talk about their wounds. We’re in some ways a living and breathing wailing wall for others. That can be both wounding and healing for us depending on where we are in our own process of figuring ourselves out.

      One to one relationships are both our healing and our wounding, which can be rather confusing but also enlightening.

      Through sharing our own wound we inspire others to share theirs, we seem to have that effect on others whether we want to or not, to the point where they appear compulsively obliged to tell us about themselves even if they are someone who should actually be listening to us – such as a therapist.

      I’ve had that happen even in the most innocuous circumstances. I can be sitting somewhere minding my own business, immersed in a book or lost in thought, giving off the leave me alone vibe, and someone will just plop themselves down next to me and tell me things which they don’t tell others – they often actually say that they’ve never told anyone else this and are surprised at themselves for telling me. It’s rather a weird compliment which I’m not ever sure that I want. But then again, perhaps they go on to have a better day or week or life after having offloaded a burden. And since their burden often ties in with one of our own, maybe their sharing helps us too, even if it doesn’t necessarily feel that way to us.

      Being a Virgo Sun will perhaps accentuate that for you as Virgos tend to go out of their way to help others. I have Virgo rising, with Moon in Virgo conjunct Asc. So my public face is one which people seem to trust without knowing whether I’m trustworthy. You have kind eyes, people tell me, before launching into their life story… and people don’t need to see my face to share their life story with me. It has happened online on numerous occasions, even when I have used a rather scary avatar.

      So I guess this is just our ‘gift’ and we have to figure out how it works and the best way to work with it, for us and for others. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    • chiron in 7th house.

      Hi, I have Chiron in7th and saturn in 5th. I can totally relate with your experiences with your mother. I never had childhood. It’s almost like a karmic debt that we have to pay in this life and there is no time for childhood because we owed too much debts in our last lives. At 40 I am a wounded healer, wiser and accepting, as I learnt about astrology and Karma. I am now, able to sympathise to the most wounded souls and able to offer better advise to the younger people.
      If you want to vent out, find another soul with chiron in 7th. I had a friend with chiron in 7th and he was the best listener to my pain. But ironically, we became each other’s pain at the end of 15 yrs friendship (not ugly ending, just painful ending).
      I read about saturn in 7th and 5th house (his in 7th, mine in 5th) and it’s certainly not great either, lots of learning lessons. It’s amazing how we are all born with astrological DNA, transcripted from the karma of our past lives.

      I find that being able to understand my astrological DNA, I am able to cope with life on a less emotional level and become more accepting of my fate (life is very fair, what we owe in the past, we pay in this life. What others owe us in the past, they pay us in this life).

      Live it up!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

        I was recently reading up on Chiron again here – http://johnsandbach.com/?p=197 .

        Chiron is still an unknown, even with all the interpretations, so it gives us more room to make our own mark on what it means for us. For us to find our own version of it and its meaning without being too influenced by astrologers. Mine’s linked in a conjunct with my NN. KArma and healing combined – interesting theory to explore.

        My natal Saturn is begin conjuncted by t-Uranus squaring my Sun which is conjuncted by t-Pluto. While t-Saturn is conjuncting my Neptune that basically pings of almost everything in my chart. Lots of heavy personal weather.

        Sometimes the worst of times is the best of times, especially where Saturn, natal, by aspect, and transit is concerned.

        Have you explored esoteric astrology?

        Liked by 1 person

  21. I have Chiron in the 7th house too, the only placement there. In Cancer and opossite to the 1st house in Capricorn, to my sun, saturn, uranus and neptune (hell yeah! πŸ˜€ 4 bad aspects!!)
    Now it’s when I talk about myself… I interpreted it like “my wound” it “happened” in Cancer, the family, the mother, the childhood. That wound caused me damage in all about those 4 planets represent in the 1st house opossite (the oneself, selfexpression, dreams, etc..repressed) so all that shit ends up affecting me in my life mostly in the area of house 7, the one-to-one relationships intimacy and attachment.
    Because the damage in those planets in house 1 caused by the first relationship (mother Cancer) turned into fear of rejection and low selfsteam which creates problems building up the next one-to-one relationships in life (house 7, where my dear chiron is)

    This is the explanation that most suits me, so I would like a lot to find someone with the same position and natal aspects to confirm me this :/
    Now Im currently married, but before that I’ve got just 1 long serious relationship which end up dumping me and with a fear of rejection, which I still have. Same with close friendships. A feedback cycle.
    I have read that the people with Chiron in house 7th, they take spouses with the role of our teachers or we teach them…about our wound.
    The “soul mates” or princes charming instead rises our passions… but our wound comes out too, it makes the struggle and the breaking up… thats why we need a spouse “teacher” so we can manage and control those wrong and negative feelings letting us built a tie that can last…
    Again, that rings the bell with me…


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      I wouldn’t call those aspects ‘bad’, that’s just one side of them. For every ‘bad’ there is an equal ‘good’. Every bad aspect and placement is also a good one. And each bad thing contains a drop of good and vice versa – Yin Yang. Much depends on our perspective.

      It sometimes seems that those with a lot of strong placements in their 1st house, have a weakness in their houses of relating which may be there to balance things – a challenge to the ego to moderate it, perhaps. Too much focus on ourselves can make us vulnerable to others when they are focused on themselves rather than us, or focused on us for themselves – their attention is directed on them, when we think it should be on us. A clash occurs creating creative friction – we can get hurt, but our hurt can also heal.

      Often we are so focused on our own fears we sometimes don’t see how our fears overlap with those of others. A fear of rejection can be so dominant that we don’t see how we reject others due to it, and therefore create the scenario which leads to us being rejected by others – maybe what they’re rejecting is their perception of us rejecting them (due to us rejecting them by protecting ourselves from them because we’re afraid they’re going to reject us). Relationships are complicated and are never as clear cut as us or them.

      If Chiron is in the 7th – us and them is the same thing – they are us and we are them. Their wound is our wound, our wound is their wound. We attract those who have a similar wound and we learn from them, they learn from us, sometimes through pain.

      When exploring Chiron it helps to see the flip side of everything we associate with it because it is the wound which takes and gives simultaneously. So if we fear something like rejection and that is part of the Chiron wound – we may attract those who have a similar fear, who both teach and learn their lessons about the wound as we teach and learn our lessons about the wound.

      Do those from whom your fear rejection – fear being rejected too, and perhaps by you?

      This is quite an intriguing view of Chiron – http://www.moonkissd.com/2011/03/21/chiron-a-change-in-attitude/

      Best wishes, and take good care of yourself!


  22. Wow!!!! What a brilliant mind/soul you are. Every word is a pure gem… Chiron in 7th (Taurus) dancing in a grand cross with Moon, Mercury and Uranus is writing here… No one ever explained it so simple, yet with in-depth and actually very applicable in reality. Yo’ve got a new admirer Ursula πŸ™‚


    • Thank you very much πŸ™‚

      I tend to think my astrology posts are a garbled mess… cheers!

      Wow, Chiron in a grand cross with Moon, Mercury, Uranus – that’s some powerful mojo going on, a great challenge and awesome energy to harness.


  23. Truly inspiring story thank-you. I have been in a relationship with a Danish man on/off for five years. I really doubt my own intuition so today I prayed to God asking for a sign that this man is the one, 5min later the train I am travelling on passes a pub called the Danish, but I doubt myself. I ask God to forgive me since it is not him I doubt but myself (self-doubt was implanted in me as a child). Interestingly this morning I noticed that my soulmates Chiron was in the 7th house which helped me to view his reluctance differently. Anyway, just now (late afternoon time) I decided to google Chiron in the 7th House and the title of your article resonated with me. So I clicked on it and began reading, only to find that you have all the placements as my twin-flame/soulmate. I realised that my holy spirit, as opposed to my ego spirit, had led me to your webpage through Gods will – and thus answering my prayers. Thank-you and know that your pain is not in vain. As we learn we heal not only ourselves but the consciousness of the world. I am still shocked because every placement you have is exact to his. Wow!


    • Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚

      That’s a wonderful story!

      Self doubt is a natural and normal part of being human, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Certain aspects of doubt inspire us to get to know ourselves better, get to know others better, get to the heart of a matter, of what truly matters.

      I wish you all the best and many blessings!


  24. I have chiron in the 7th in Gemini with some other difficult placements and I often ask God, why me? Why did I have to be born in this life? I wouldn’t say I’ve had in particular some extremely horrible suffering in particular happen but constant suffering happening pretty much all happening with OTHER people and MY MOTHER. Like I’ve heard a lot in some of the stories I’ve read on here!

    Yes I have a very difficult, emotionally absent, childish, egotistical, argumentative (ALWAYS has to be right, never admits wrong but will be the first one to point out what you’re doing wrong) and very lazy, irresponsible, and victimizes herself so that throughout my life she has “demonized” me into being this horrible person even though she pushes me to anger and yelling with her manipulative tactics and when she can’t win the argument then she resorts to feeling sorry for herself and making me the bad guy to avoid ever feeling like she did anything wrong. She is a very difficult person to say the least, she’s a cancer and she was abused as a child so that when she became my mother she has so many issues and still does, that I never got the mother I deserved. I got a damaged version that had little to give. I basically raised myself and had to learn in my adulthood how to behave socially because I was basically not taught anything and by the time I was old enough 11 yrs old, was left alone every night while she went to work. This was very hard for me because I got picked on very badly in school esp. from 5th grade up until high school and I had no family support, no father around. No family really except some grandparents I rarely saw. I’m 29 now and I still have many issues. I can’t make friends and I often get the feeling people are treating me like I’m weird and when they don’t treat me that way I end up being so socially afraid to talk to people. I can speak out loud in class but when I get one on one with people where it becomes personal, at school or at work I get nervous and I’m unable to really open up. And I still end up being the odd one out even though I’m pretty and smart, I end up being disliked by many girls at work after I work somewhere for a certain amount of time, especially younger people. I basically have no friends and I’m afraid that having a career that gives me the income I need to be independent will be the least of my problems since I feel I will end up going to work every day and feeling left out and “not included”. I don’t know how to be myself around strangers. I’ve had some great moments in my life and motherhood seems to be my greatness in life though it leads to a very lonely life. I started having my first child pretty young and I wasn’t always a good mother since I had a lot of issues and wasn’t ready for motherhood but now I still have a lot of subconcious things that still need to be worked out, I’ve learned how to be a good mom and now have 2 kids. My kids are my motivation in life, theyre everything to me and I can’t understand how my own mother can care so little about my welfare because I would do anything to make sure I’m there for my kids!
    I’ve always attracted relationships with people with “issues”.. emotional, drugs, etc. So i’ve had rollercoaster of relationships and I wonder if I could be attracted to someone normal and stable. Though time will tell since I’ve put off relationships for a while now to focus on getting my life together and going to school. My relationships with men have also been a big source of wounds in my life. I don’t even want to get started there cuz I would go on too long talking about all the messed up things that have happened to me in my making bad choices in men.

    I have scorpio rising, sag sun conjunct saturn (tight conjuct) SQUARE Virgo Midheaven… very difficult aspect to have.. and also uranus and mercury in sag all in the first house.
    then i have gemini chiron in 7th all by itself (taurus ruling the 7th house as i have scorpio rising).. south node in scorpio in the 12th house and taurus north node in the 6th house.
    Aries moon in 5th square Capricorn neptune in the 2nd.
    Jupiter in Aquarius squaring Rising and venus in scorpio in the 12th. Also Pluto in scorpio in the 12th house.
    Mars in libra in 11th (not a direct opposition with moon in aries.. only by sign, too far in degrees to be opposition)


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      I can relate to wondering – Why me? – and wondering why you of all people had to be the one to suffer what you’ve suffered, the way you’ve suffered it.

      Many people wonder this about themselves and their life. It’s part of being human. We all experience the pain of living, however we only experience our own pain on a visceral level which means we tend to think that we suffer more than anyone else does. Sometimes we think that we’re the only ones experiencing pain this bad while everyone else has it good, so we end up wondering – Why me? Why do I have to suffer when I’ve done nothing wrong, while everyone else…

      With Chiron in the 7th your – Why me? – is answered by understanding the role of pain and suffering in relationships.

      In other words, people usually hurt us because they’re hurting. Your mother was in pain, and therefore she hurt you because of it. She couldn’t see what she was doing to you because she was too focused on what had been done to her, on how she was suffering because of others. You, however, can see the connection between your own suffering and pain, and how that can get passed on to others through you if you don’t become conscious of it.

      What you’re doing in your relationship with your children is the positive side of Chiron in the 7th. And through your love and care for them, you are healing certain aspects of your own wound which your mother passed onto you.

      Chiron in the 7th is about mutual pain and mutual healing. The relationship between self and other which can be wounding and/or healing.

      Chiron in the 7th brings the relationship between your wound and the wound of others into focus. In some ways the answer to – Why me? – for those with Chiron in the 7th is – you have to suffer so that you can understand the suffering of others. Your – Why me? – helps you to see the – Why me? – of others. If you don’t understand that others are suffering too then others will be the cause of your suffering due to their pain. Your – Why me? – can be the inspiration which makes of you a source of healing for others, and through healing others you heal yourself.

      For those with Chiron in the 7th the solution lies with using our own pain as a bridge between self and other. By understanding our own pain we can understand the pain of others. By working to heal our own pain we can help others heal theirs. Sometimes our healing comes from others, but that only happens when we stop expecting others to heal our pain for us.

      This is an interesting approach to Chiron – http://www.moonkissd.com/2011/03/21/chiron-a-change-in-attitude/

      From what you’ve shared, it sounds to me as though you’re naturally and consciously working on healing yourself, and this is having a very beneficial effect on your life and your relationships (the important ones such as those with yourself and with your children). You’re working on taking care of yourself, and your children.

      As for your co-workers. You have Scorpio rising, with some intense Scorpio energy (Venus & Pluto). Other people will experience you as being intense, and a lot of people just can’t handle that and prefer to avoid it. Their astrology charts can’t handle your astrology chart. There was a few interesting discussions about that on the Elsa Elsa astrology website.

      This is one of the posts about that – http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/scorpio-8th-house-pluto-types-general-qualities/

      Also with Scorpio rising, backed up by powerful Pluto in Scorpio and an very beautiful Venus in Scorpio… you’re never going to be a girly-girl, you’re all woman, and the type of woman other women find intimidating, especially if men find you fascinating. Think Angelina Jolie.

      With Sagittarius Sun (even with Saturn aspecting it) you’re a kind of liberated which can rub others the wrong way, perhaps because they’d like to be more like you.

      There is a lot of freedom in being the ‘weird one’. You get to do and be what others are afraid to do and be. Being an ‘outsider’ is a powerful thing, but sometimes it feels a powerless position to be in. Find some ‘weird’ role models and learn from them. Check out astro chart twins on Astrotheme, you can search their database using astrological criteria and find someone with a similar chart as yours. It’s an intriguing way to explore astrology.

      As for romance, Venus in Scorpio tends to be very alluring, especially to people who seek ‘danger’, who want to explore the taboo in relationships. And your Scorpio rising may attract the type of man who sees you as a siren, and may have a lot of fantasies about your role in his life. He may expect you to transform him (due to your Pluto in Scorpio). With Chiron in the 7th, that aspect of the relationship can get amplified because he’ll want you to miraculously heal him while transforming him. He’ll want you to be the embodiment of Aphrodite while also being Mother Theresa. Look for a man who is secure in his manhood and doesn’t need you to prove to him that he’s a man and not a boy. You don’t want to end up playing the mother role, this will drive your Sagittarius Sun nuts!

      You’re a beautiful, intelligent, and very strong soul – That’s why you! You can take it and transform it! Turn the pain into healing! You’ve got his, trust yourself – that’s the hardest challenge in life, to realise that we are awesome as we are and we need to trust that.

      Follow your bliss and things will get better.


  25. i have Chiron in the 7th in Gemini conjuncting my natal Sun. My natal Sun is also conjuncting Lilith which is also in the 7th in Gemini but a bit closer to Taurus. my natal Sun is opposed to Saturn retrograde in the 1st in Sagittarius…

    my wiew was that life’s a bitch which i don’t get any sex from but still takes my money away πŸ™‚

    rejection was ever prezent in my life starting from early childhood when i found out that my friends left me take the the beatings alone from the older kids when i stood up for them against the latter. i was only good for them because they were pussies and i was the only one with a drive so they followed me to the point of taking responsability for the deeds. they stopped there so the guilt fell on me even if it was obvious it wss not my fault – i got over it after many years by changing several enturages until i ended up with only 2-3 ppl that i could relate to.

    when i reached my teens girls avoided me in terms of relationships but they wanted my Just A Friend company to pour their stress on me because other dudes gave them a hard time. i was treated like a girl’s gay boy friend. not offence to homosexuals – i solved this in part by ignoring the women folk and beeing ubnoxious to them at times and that made a few of them being interested in me to some degree. although my NN is conjunct with the Moon and i got to learn to show emotions in this life, this very thing kept me from having succes with women in the first place. i’m an avarage guy in terms of looks, tall, thin, and as a Gemini i think they should have had lots to talk to me about in what i was hoping to be a future relationship , but it wasn’t the case πŸ™‚

    in school i was the black sheep. at work also. my Uranus retrograde drives me to be a rebel so i often rallied my coworkers to protest against the poor working contitions and pay. all the others started to fall back i was left alone to fight the management. and get fired in the end for demanding that everyone’s rights be respected…

    getting a job was frustrating. i was told that i either had too much experience but lacked a college diploma and i gues that they couldn’t have wrapped their heads around that, or that i changed several jobs in just a few years.

    needless to say i had problems with the police and even if i appealed to justice to plead my case which i was right, the other side always won. the frustration started to grow and grow…

    then i took on ceremonial magick a few months ago and something is starting to chamge for the better πŸ˜€

    love&peace! ❀


  26. sorry about my last post being written somewhat off but i’m writing from my mobile and my android is acting up making it more difficult to write long texts.

    i might add that my relationship with my parents was difficult and still is to some extent. my mom would often drive me crazy by forcing me to do her will and my dad use to back her up by saying that she’s my mom and i should listen to her πŸ™‚ i had to accept her shifting moods from being a practical joker to becoming over serious. my parents were also absent many times from my life since early childhood due to certain hard circumstances so i grew up changing adult’s hands wether they were my grandparents, other inlaws and family friends. this complicated my relationship with my parents even more and i was left exposed to the world. but in some way it made my relationship with them better on the long run because i grew up more independent and from my teens onwards i started talking to them from their own level. it was harsh at first but they fell in line eventually πŸ™‚

    ceremonial magick is helping me find my waknesses and problems and starting to fix them so that my reflection on the outside would also change in the eyes of others. studying my natal chart more intensly is also helping me locating my wounds and flaws and they right way to heal and adjust them.

    thank you for posting this text!


    • Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚

      Ceremonial magick sounds perfect for someone with Saturn in the 1st, as it requires focus, discipline and the honing of skills. Do you have Neptune in Capricorn? And with Lilith conjunct Sun it’s the ideal means to harness such strong personal energy, turning what could be destructive into something very creative, which would be a healing experience both for you and for others, with Sun conjunct Chiron what you do to heal yourself will literally shine onto others.

      It sounds to me as though you have an excellent grasp of the energies at work within and outside of you, both astrologically, psychologically, and philosophically, and you have chosen to work with your path mindfully. That’s some powerful personal alchemy.

      The maturity with which you’ve handled your life’s challenges is a sign of great self-mastery (the blessing side of having Saturn in the 1st), and your approach towards your family and the other relationships in your life shows a deep compassion and understanding (a beautiful Moon, working with NN). Your story is very inspiring.

      Uranus’ rebellious influence definitely has caused trouble for me too, it’s a great energy, very resilient, potent, but it takes time to learn how to work with it, and the lesson usually starts with going a bit stir crazy. Like with all the outer planets we have to figure out how to pace ourselves when dealing with their power, they move very slowly and we integrate them slowly. The energy of the outer planets is massive, and is like trying to pour an ocean, trap a hurricane in, catch a meteor in a glass.

      You sound like a truly great soul.

      Take good care of yourself πŸ™‚


      • thank you for the kind words and the information you’ve shared! yes, i do have Neptune retrograde in Capricorn in the 2nd. in fact, all my outer planets are retrograde πŸ™‚ Neptune in Capricorn in the 2nd, Saturn and Uranus in Sagittarius in the 1st and Pluto in Scorpio in the 12th. since Pluto is conjunct to the SN and therefore is opposite the NN and the Moon, i’m beginning to study this aspect of my inside too because i need to be fully aware of my foundation in this life in order to use it to achieve my soul’s goal.

        blessed be!


        • Thank you πŸ™‚

          With a retrograde planet in a natal chart, the energy is directed inwards with more intensity than it is outwards. I have Pluto retrograde in my 1st house, it can get very intense inside. I also have Uranus in the 1st, but it’s direct so others tend to experience that side of me more, as since it’s conjunct Jupiter, and trine Mercury – I come across as a fruit loop most of the time πŸ™‚

          Neptune in Capricorn is a very intriguing placement, as I see it, it gives the ability to make dreams (Neptune) a reality (Capricorn), and it would endow an individual who is practicing Magick with powerful ability. And Saturn in the 1st would add to the natural ability to make what is unknown known, what is abstract tangible.

          I came across an interesting write up about Moon opposition Pluto the other night – https://adamcmadison.wordpress.com/2013/03/31/moon-opposite-pluto-andrew/ – it’s a beautiful combination, deeply intense and soulful. With NN involved, it shows the path forward.

          You do have the most amazing chart, and you are a truly unique and inspiring individual.

          Best wishes πŸ™‚


          • wow! your 1st house is really powerful and you seem like i person i can relate to, being always in transformation and also a rebel πŸ™‚

            i can’t thank you enough for the information you’ve shared + the link with Moon opposite Pluto. the description there fits perfect.

            i would like to ask for your advice regarding someone close to my that has a very hard health karma (Saturn in the 6th in Scorpio among others) in most part due to one’s parents, but it lead to a life of fighting with one’s self and that lead to physical decay to the degree that the person can’t stand up straight and feels pain all over one’s body. all the medical investigations turned out good, so the doctors pointed out that the problem is psychiatric, although the parson’s mental abilities are ok. at least at the surface. i’ve looked up the natal chart and found many things that fit the person’s past and inside and also the ways in which the person can fix one’s self. but i have problems finding the meaning of a certain aspect in this person’s house: Chiron retrograde in the 12th in Gemini opposing the natal Sun in the 6th in Sagittarius. Chiron retrograde is also conjunct the NN in the 12th in Taurus, who in turn is conjunct with Fortuna in the 12th in Taurus. i’ve found the aspects of Chiron with the Sun and they fit perfectly with the person as i said before, but i can’t find this exact aspect which i feel could be the key of understanding the person’s deepest wound and the way in which it can be healed – this due to the fact that Chiron is retrograde and conjunct NN and the Sun is conjunct SN. i would appreciate very much if you could share this meaning.

            i’m going to read other posts of yours to find if they relate to me, cause you have a manner of explaining things i a way in which i can understand fully πŸ˜‰

            blessed be!


            • Thank you πŸ™‚ Good luck finding anything on my blog, it’s a mess like I am. I keep meaning to tidy it up (Virgo rising) but… I never seem to get around to doing that (Neptune… it’s gotta be Neptune!) πŸ˜‰

              RE: the person you’re worried about and trying to help. With Chiron conjunct NN – which is an aspect I have in my chart – it’s really tricky getting info on this. I did find a post about it which helped me understand it better, but I’m having trouble re-locating it. I’ve lost the bookmark (my Pluto in 1st may have deleted it). I found it through a discussion on an astrology forum. Mine’s in the 7th, in the 12th – the house and realm of hidden things, all sorts of unconscious complications, and institutions… – that’s a hard aspect to nail down to anything tangible (and it’s intangible enough already without 12th house blurriness – house of fog and mirrors).

              The person with Chiron conjunct NN has to figure things out for themselves – the wound and the karma is theirs, no one else can figure it out for them – but they may be tempted to get someone else to do it for them because of the challenge it presents. Healing and resolving of karma lies in doing things themselves. With the 12th house involved this may represent doing it through unusual and unconventional means. A 6th house SN would make them want to play it safe with conventional rituals and methods of healing.

              From what I can recall of the article it said that people with Chiron conjunct NN, wherever it was in the chart, had to face their own wound and the healing of it by themselves and do it head on, face the whole thing without averting theirs eyes or expecting someone else to solve it for them. I got a bit annoyed about that, but then I agreed. We’ve basically got to stop feeling sorry for ourselves – which is tough as that placement when it is in its unconscious form makes for very self-indulgent pain-aholics who keep hoping some knight in shining armour will rescue them, but they don’t realise they’re their own knight in shining armour.

              One site recommends this for Chiron conjunct NN – “In your quest to heal yourself, you find your life path. The key to finding your life path is to accept your whole self.” – via http://astrofix.net/2014/09/11/chiron-conjunct-north-node/

              A few astrologers who have studied Chiron recommend looking at the other centaur asteroids for more info on Chiron’s placement.

              “Centaurs talk about where we are doing the deep work, or where we need to be doing it. They suggest where we’ve been hurt and are therefore concentrating either power, or pain; they describe the shadowy parts of our psyche, places of doubt, fear and denial; and they can represent extraordinary gifts that we must learn how to handle.” via http://www.cosmicconfidential.com/astrology/centaurs-astrology-chiron-nessus.html

              It’s lovely that you’re trying to help someone else, just make sure they’re not expecting you to solve something for them which they have to solve themselves, and that you’re not taking on someone else’s wound which only they can heal, but may hope you’ll heal for them – which then takes away from caring for your own story. It can be a fine line between helping and taking on someone else’s burden (although that is my 7th house Chiron talking).

              Best wishes!


              • I just felt exited reading that. Having Neptune on capricorn too in the first, along with saturn and uranus.
                Having the ability of making your dreams come true, its the most awesome reading I could have had about my chart!! πŸ˜€

                1000 thanks!!


                • Thank you πŸ™‚

                  Neptune in Capricorn is a amazing generational placement – the power to make dreams become reality in a practical manner. WOW!

                  With Neptune in Capricorn, the placement of Saturn becomes very relevant – Saturn is a more personal planet than Neptune, so where Saturn is in your chart (sign and house, and aspects), both natally and by transit, will affect your Neptune in Capricorn ability to make dreams come true.

                  Transit-wise Saturn has just changed signs from the deep diving psychological sign (Scorpio) to the philosopher and adventurer of life (Sagittarius) – look at where your natal Sagittarius is to know more about how this will play out.

                  This is an interesting article about that, with links to other articles about the possible effects over the next few years – http://www.oxfordastrologer.com/2015/09/what-astrologers-are-saying-about-saturn-in-sagittarius.html

                  You have a lot of practical magic in you – how you use it is up to you (and depends on the rest of your chart).

                  Best wishes!


              • thank you for the reply! the person needs to find one’s path and healing alone indeed. i’m just trying to help the person make the right connections so one doesn’t get stuck and if a blockage appears i try to help the person get over it.

                i know what you mean about not getting involved too much and not taking on the person’s wounds and problems πŸ™‚ i also have this Chiron in the 7th house feeling πŸ™‚ but from what i’ve found about my Chiron aspects, helping others will also help me on my own path. so i try to balance these things as much as i can. i’m concerned about that person but also keeping with my own issues at the same time.

                thanks so much and blessed be!


                  • mine and the person’s in question? not yet because i’ve been way to busy searching for each karmic aspect on the person’s chart. i will compare the 2 charts though, to find out the best way of approaching the subject. thanks you for the good idea!


                    • Yes, doing a composite and/or synastry chart between your chart and your friend’s, as this can show you the areas where you’re connecting, and the areas where you might have conflict/difficulty connecting, and give you an idea of the astrology of the relationship, and the joint karma involved in your interaction. It’s an interesting way to explore a relationship, and for those of us with Chiron in the 7th it’s important to know the dynamics going on in our one to one interactions.

                      Chiron in the 7th can make us prone to taking on the wounds of others and trying to heal them for the other person, this may complicate the healing process as our wound and the wound of others can get confused, fused, and we may wound ourselves by trying to heal someone else.

                      The way Chiron in the 7th heals is through understanding the wound, understanding the relationship of the wound to identity (7th house versus 1st house), seeing the links between the self and the wound, the self and other, the other and the wound, and in healing ourselves we heal others, by sharing our understanding of the wound, which is part of the healing process, and by sharing the healing process for ourselves with others, we show others how to heal their own wound, and as we show others how to heal their own wound, so our wound gets healed too.

                      This is an interesting article about the 7th – https://beyondthestarsastrology.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/the-7th-house-the-shadow-self/ – as it incorporates the dynamic between 7th and 1st.

                      You’re a natural healer – Sun/Chiron – you heal others by being yourself, and by communicating (Gemini) your deep understanding of yourself, which helps others to understand themselves.


                    • i’m unable to reply to your recent post, so i’ll reply here:

                      yes indeed! what you say is true πŸ˜€ i’ve compared our charts a bit and the most obvious aspect is that our natal Suns are in opposition (Gemini-Sagittarius) haha. the outer planets are almost in the same place (there are differences though) because the person in question is only 18months older than me.

                      and about the healing process: i’ve been trying to heal myself as long as i can remember so i’ve developed some skills in this matter along the way. on the other hand, the person in question has only been walking this road for a few years, having no experience in self healing prior to the begining of one’s affections.

                      i’ve tried to approach the issue in different ways while observing the other’s reactions. now i’m focused on understanding the nature of the person’s wounds and explaining them in such a way that the person would understand them completely. it’s hard though as the person had some subconscious blockages that need to be cleared in order to reach the deep mind of the unconscious self for it is there that the personal wounds are.

                      as a curious Gemini i try to go back and forth, around, over and under to find out all the aspects of the problem and dive deep in the core. but once i discover something i only share it with the person and help the person understand. i’m fully aware of our Chiron in the 7th self sacrifice for others tendencies, but my NN lesson for this life is to be me, so i’ve developed some kind of a barrier between mine and others’ [problems πŸ˜€

                      i’ll check out the link you posted. keep in touch!


                    • Sometimes the a way to clear a blockage is to find where a person flows freely, because sometimes blockages are tied like reins to other areas that are freer, and if you encourage them to run with a passion, it will pull the blockage loose. Find what this person loves to do, and encourage them to let that love flow, it may release the block and bring it out into the open.

                      You’re a natural, trust your instincts, let yourself flow πŸ™‚


                  • lol you’re too kind! thank you! πŸ˜€ i acknowledge your advice and i’ll put it to practice. the article you’ve shared is amazing! i’ve already began doing shadow work and i’ve reintegrated some of my shameful aspects from the past. the feeling of being more and more whole is extraordinary. there are still aspects of the shadow self that i need to confront, accept and integrate in me, but the feeling i’ve felt from previous experience in this field helps me by boosting my will of becoming whole πŸ™‚



                    • Very true, there is nothing more wonderful than just being ourselves, accepting all of the parts which make up the whole, and being open to discovering more about who we are, what we can do, and what our journey holds in store for us.

                      And as we know more of ourselves, so we come to know more of others, and see the bigger whole of which we are part. So many atoms making up an amazing universe πŸ™‚


  27. HI, reading your comments about your childhood and mother I was surprised that there was someone so similar. Here’s what I have…. North node conjunct Chiron but in Aries, 2nd house. Sun in Pisces opposite Pluto in Virgo. Jupiter and Uranus in libra also conjunct south node… See a pattern that’s similar? I think we must be born in near years…
    My mother also plays the victim but alternates this with tearing me apart piece by piece with her criticism. I found it interesting that the asteroids in her chart really tell the tale… Maybe check your moms?
    I don’t have the 7th house north node Chiron, but instead have Pluto in Virgo….yuck! Oh well it’s turned me into one resilient person. I just have some trust issues that I am continually working on.
    Best wishes!


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      I keep meaning to check out my mother’s chart. You’re the second person in a short span of time who has prompted me to do that. It’s been awhile since I looked at her chart, I got bored of focusing on her and decided to focus on myself instead, which has been healing and insightful as a lot of my relationship with her required my focusing all of my attention on her and ignoring myself.

      Her criticism of me was always all about her. When she criticised me she made herself feel perfect compared to me who was flawed and faulty. They tear us apart and use the pieces they take from us to patch themselves together. Our pieces are their bandaids (which should show us just how valuable our pieces, and explains why they’re set on dismembering us).

      My relationship with my mother can be explained in large part by my natal Moon in the 12th (Moon in 12th points to a difficult relationship with the mother, the mother can be experienced as the ‘hidden enemy’) and the connections it makes, it’s involved in a T-square with Neptune and Venus – she wanted me to take on her delusions, and to make her fantasies real, one of which was that she was the perfect mother.

      I haven’t really delved into asteroids in depth, other than Chiron. I did explore Eris since it’s conjunct my Saturn, and Eric Francis wrote a fascinating piece about it. And most recently I was looking into Ixion (which is conjunct my Mars), some astrologers see Ixion as representing our ‘conflict with ourselves’ – the mythological character was a total a-hole.

      This is an intriguing and funny look at mythological characters (I always check the myth behind the astrological placement) – http://io9.com/the-13-biggest-assholes-in-greek-mythology-1454132475

      Pluto in Virgo in the 7th – the dark side of Virgo (critical, analytical, prone to dissecting and detachment) may turn up in relationships. However, PLuto always destroys to create, so the light side of Virgo (service to others, gentleness, deep understanding of the details) must also be factored in when assessing it.

      Have you read Philip Green’s interpretations of Pluto?

      This is a good resource for all things Pluto – http://www.scribd.com/doc/31151867/2204105-Pluto-Sign-House-Aspect

      Chiron conjunct NN in Aries – I’d see that as the need to discover and create your own personal values, and your personal values may go against the mainstream, because Aries initiates (and butts heads with the system). Has t-Uranus conjuncted those placements? And have they been squared by t-Pluto yet? If yes, have you noticed a complete overhaul of your value system to make it more authentic for yourself? If no, can you feel the need to break out and free yourself from the values of others becoming stronger?

      Your Chiron wound and NN challenge is to make your own rules and live by them – which is always going to annoy others, especially those who want to place themselves in a position of authority over you – you know that you’re the only one who has authority over yourself.

      Your resilience is a great gift, my guess is that you’ll find it in many placements in your chart. You have an eternal fire burning within.

      Trust issues… that’s a very human issue, and is often tied into how much we trust ourselves. I’ve found that now that I know myself better, it’s easier to trust others because I trust myself to let me know when to do that and when not to do that. We’re always learning, evolving, working on ourselves.

      Keep on keeping on πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m so excited that you responded! Thank you! I will check those links. In the meantime, yes it has been a total overhaul of my values, and a lot of questioning if I am on the right path. Uranus in Aries is literally kicking my butt, but in a good way kapish?
        Other things are happening Chiron is conjuncting my sun…it seems to be sitting there like a big troll! But I am learning about the wound I have within myself. Which has been painful. Recently my mom came to visit and I was having nightmares at night. It was like all the warninh bells were going off. The wounds became fresh and new and etc. You don’t need to hear it.
        I appreciate your words of wisdom, thank you! I write charts for people but it’s so nice to have some input from someone in the know.


        • Thank you πŸ™‚

          With t-Neptune in Pisces along with Chiron, the healing power of dreams is amplified, even if the dreams are nightmares. There’s an interesting story about a tribe, the Senoi, which uses dreams to confront fears and solve problems. Sometimes we can’t confront a situation in RL, but we may be able to do so through dreaming.

          If you’d like to share your story, you are welcome to do so, I find writing about mine has a way of changing how it affects me. Through writing our story, we listen to ourselves, and our own wisdom rises up from within to meet us outside. Rants are particularly cathartic to release buried gunk and to understand fear.

          I read this the other night – http://sophias-children.com/2015/10/23/feeling-at-home-restoring-our-roots/ – it’s a beautiful exploration of Virgo, and since you have Pluto there, and at this time the sign is supercharged with transits, all of which will oppose your t-Chiron conjunct Sun, understanding the opposite to integrate it might be healing.

          Take good care of yourself!


  28. Hi there!
    I’ve recently picked up my chart again and i share the same Chiron in the 7th house but….my sun Taurus is also in the 7th house!
    So i’ve understood i help myself by helping others…??
    I am trying to understand my chart in a coherent story.
    I came across another tool (instead of horoscope) that explains this chiron is all about (clear) self expression and finding friends-relationships in what you know (same shared interest). The flip side can be..splitting apart..with no correct timing or sharing information that helps the other you come across as a geek, so communication is key. If…..they dont share the same interest or understanding you can cut those people off which make selfdeprivation or stubborness a “can be” side effect (for me chiron in taurus).
    As i see it, it is a very spiritual position (chiron) that can long for recognition. Also reflection. Treat others how you want to be treated and can have idealistic expectations of the others (there for clear communication)… And healthy boundaries for yourself and others. A hunger for knowlegde how relationships works, same values? etc.
    Preferably this house is in libra.. weighing all options yin/yang.. So my experience is mainly your subcounsciousness and consiousness can be healing in clear communication. A better relationship with Self improves relationships with others. What do relationships mean to you?

    Still busy working myself out here…..lol…. the wounded healer:

    Sun 13Β°57′ Taurus
    Moon 6Β°21′ Libra
    Mercury 4Β°29′ Gemini
    Venus 0Β°17′ Aries
    Mars 0Β°42′ Π― Libra
    Jupiter 4Β°21′ Π― Scorpio
    Saturn 17Β°03′ Π― Libra
    Uranus 3Β°24′ Π― Sagittarius
    Neptune 26Β°42′ Π― Sagittarius
    Pluto 25Β°02′ Π― Libra
    Chiron 22Β°04′ Taurus
    Ceres 20Β°48′ Π― Scorpio
    Pallas 3Β°38′ Π― Libra
    Juno 9Β°54′ Π― Capricorn
    Vesta 15Β°09′ Aquarius
    Node 15Β°27′ Π― Cancer
    Lilith 11Β°19′ Sagittarius
    Fortune 0Β°28′ Aries
    AS 8Β°04′ Scorpio
    MC 21Β°52′ Leo

    Planets in Houses*
    Sun House 7
    Moon House 11
    Mercury House 7
    Venus House 5
    Mars House 11
    Jupiter House 12
    Saturn House 11
    Uranus House 1
    Neptune House 2
    Pluto House 12
    Chiron House 7
    Ceres House 1
    Pallas House 11
    Juno House 2
    Vesta House 3
    Node House 9
    Lilith House 2
    Fortune House 5

    With love and my best, Miranda


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      You also have Mercury in the 7th, in Gemini, so when you said – communication is key – it really is for you. In fact you mention communication a lot, it’s a focal point for you and may be how you bring things, the different sides of you, together in your chart.

      An astrologer whose way of approaching the subject really helped me get a better grasp of the story which a natal chart tells is – http://www.oxfordastrologer.com/ – she does some very interesting profiles of people on her blog wherein she shows their natal chart at work in their lives, how their placements and aspects can be seen in their words, and in what they do. She gave me a different perspective on how to understand what the chart is showing.

      For instance what you said here: “Preferably this house is in libra.. weighing all options yin/yang.. So my experience is mainly your subconsciousness and consiousness can be healing in clear communication. A better relationship with Self improves relationships with others” – shows the influence of your Libra placements combined, and again your Mercury shows up with its interest in communicating, and its clarity due to researching. Does your Chiron aspect your Mercury?

      Exploring Chiron can be difficult…

      1 – on a practical level because there is still not that much astro info about it, the info that is available may be vague and generalised which never satisfies an inquiring mind.

      Eric Francis has written quite a bit about it – http://planetwaves.net/chiron/ – and he has mentioned looking at the other centaurs too when looking at Chiron as they can sometimes flesh out the purpose of your Chiron placement. This is an intriguing post about Nessus – http://planetwaves.net/astrologynews/171428390.html – he includes Mercury in it because of what Mercury was doing at the time.

      You might also find this worth a read, it’s an Esoteric Astrology look at Chiron – http://www.dkfoundation.co.uk/dkfoundation/dkfArtMagi3.htm

      2 – on a personal level because it requires getting in touch with your wound (digging into it to find the healing held within it), and also with Chiron in the 7th being aware of the wounds of others (digging into those too to find the healing), how their wound affects them and ripples into their relationship with you, and vice versa, and how often your wound and theirs are similar. Those similarities can pull you together and push you apart.

      You have a very interesting chart, with placements that will be affected by that big transit that many astrologers have been writing about in depth – Pluto in Capricorn square Uranus in Aries. Perhaps picking up your chart again coincided with that transit? Or another transit? Transits are as much a part of our natal chart story as the natal placements are because they show us the movement of the tale within each placement, and because they open up chapters of our story when they hit a natal placement.

      Like you, I’m fascinated by relationships and what they mean, to me, to others, for the little picture and the bigger one, on a personal, impersonal and interpersonal level. I like exploring the relationships between people and things (objects, ideas, etc), between a plant and animals, between nature and itself (like the relationship between Redwoods and fire)… relationships aren’t just about people with other people, and sometimes those other types of relationships help to explain the ones between people and other people (I have Mercury in Aquarius, and Mercury is my chart Dominant… so I think too much about everything in a very scattered way πŸ˜‰ ).

      Here are a couple links I’ve enjoyed while researching Chiron and the 7th house:



      Best wishes on your journey to get to know yourself and others better! We’re all a bit of a mess, mess is good sometimes πŸ™‚


  29. Hi I am sorry if I am too late for this post as I see it dated 2013. But I must try to reply because by some kind of weird coincidence I came upon it when searching Chiron in 7th natal. Well, not only is my Chiron is 7th it is in Pisces and I have Venus (in Pisces) almost exact opposition with Pluto (in Virgo). Pluto in the 1st house and Venus in 7th. I don’t know whether this is because of similarities in our charts but I have similar experiences. I also thought about it a great deal. If nothing else, I am really surprised but glad there is someone out there, the author of this post, who has experienced similar things. Because with Pluto Venus opposition in natal, everything matters in relationships and they are never easy or simply pleasant. The key is to know how to navigate that aspect in self to, basically, survive unharmed psychologically because feelings are very very intense and letting go of situations however painful and destructive, is very difficult. Anyway, if you are still there, the author of this point I would very much appreciate hearing from you and if you are a professional astrologer like to have a consultation if that is something you offer. Thank you, S.


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Yes, I’m still here. I’m not an astrologer, so I don’t do readings, I just find astrology very useful for figuring myself and life experiences out. Astrology has a way of giving a different angle on a personal issue.

      Having Pluto in the 1st gives an intensity to the self, and the experience of being. Add Uranus to it and it adds a need to be uniquely individual and free to be who you are – there’s a strong impulse to break free from all constraints and do things your way.

      Pluto and Uranus are known as Outer Planets – they’re huge, move very slowly, and their influence lasts a long time. Having them in a personal house, and the personal house of personality can be at times like trying to carry an ocean in a glass. It can take a lifetime to figure out how to deal with such intense and strong energies – and Pluto (especially in Virgo) is particularly focused on figuring that out.

      What you said here – “The key is to know how to navigate that aspect in self to, basically, survive unharmed psychologically because feelings are very very intense and letting go of situations however painful and destructive, is very difficult.” – is very Pluto in Virgo in the 1st. However Pluto often survives by allowing itself to experience a destruction, not unlike the mythological Phoenix. Burning up to rise from its own ashes. Renewed, stronger, wiser and more aware of its own power – Power and the right use of it (often learned through the wrong use of it) is one of the lessons Pluto makes its mission.

      With Pluto opposing Venus in Pisces – your Venus may feel burdened by the heaviness of Pluto. Your Venus in Pisces wants to loves everyone – Pluto in Virgo is not as magnanimous, and finds it easier to do the opposite. Venus in Pisces also tends to adapt itself to suit other people – to become who other people need them to be – Pluto in the 1st can’t stand this, it is fiercely independent and more so with Uranus’ influences. Often those with Pluto in the first feel constant tension in relationships, as though giving in or giving anything to others is a small death, but not giving in or giving to others can also become a problem and it can feel as though others are blocking you from being you until you give in to them. Power struggles in relationships are the norm of this placement – and you may see power struggles where there isn’t one there.

      Chiron in the 7th tends to encourage understanding others to understand the self, and understanding the self to understand others – this understanding eases the tensions felt in relationships, thus allowing the 1st house self to learn to maintain a balance in personal interactions.

      Aspects to your Pluto, Venus, and Chiron will flesh out the details of how these placements work and don’t work, and which solutions may solve the issues which arise.

      If you’re looking to get a consultation, these are two astrologers whose work I think is very insightful:



      They both do readings and both seem to use a very intuitive approach to interpreting the natal chart and connecting it to individual life experience. I haven’t personally had a reading from them, I gave up on getting other people to interpret my chart awhile ago – my Pluto/Uranus prefers to DIY it.

      And yes, the similarities in our charts will create similarities in life experience, and experience of the self. Due to my posts on astrology I’ve met quite a few people with Pluto and Uranus in the 1st, as well as Chiron in the 7th, and there definitely are some uncanny connections in our personal experiences of being and relating… which is a kind of Chiron in PIsces in the 7th thing, making connections between self and other which help the self to heal. πŸ™‚


      • Thank you so much for responding to me. Your comments are very insightful. With power struggles in relationships: Very true but it is also because of all the Scorpios and people with strong Pluto aspects that i seem to want to have in my life. What does 4th house have to do with it i wonder, i have 4th in Scorpio. Thank you again.


        • With Pluto in the 1st you’ll attract and be attracted to others who express Plutonic issues and elements (that includes Scorpio types) – Pluto in the 1st jumps into the fray, is irrevocably drawn to intense experience and intense people, and then wishes it could learn to stop doing that. But even when it is given the choice, it tends to choose the hard way to learn. It figures itself out by doing that. Avoiding it is not the solution for a Pluto 1st house.

          Uranus in the 1st rebels at the slightest hint of rules applied, including rules which the self tries to apply to the self.

          I’ve tried avoidance tactics, but intense people and experiences always find me wherever I’m hiding. As I get older I roll my eyes about it more and more – so you do adapt and things do get less intense simply because you’ve grown accustomed to the intense and it just doesn’t seem as strong as it used to. Saturn transiting Scorpio recently did focus attention on the intense but also put them in a more logical perspective.

          Always ask yourself why something is happening, why someone is in your life, and what you can learn from it and them – Chiron in the 7th wants to know.

          4th house is family, home, roots, nurturing – it’s the house of Cancer. Cancer can be quite intense, add Scorpio to it and the volume of intensity gets turned up to 11.

          Do you have any planets in the 4th – Neptune maybe?

          If the house is untenanted – that’s also worth looking into (although it’s also worth looking into asteroids, but that makes the astrology all the more complex).

          Focus on the question you ask most often of yourself which you crave to answer, then read your chart using that question. It’s an intriguing way to do it and can be rather a good way to answer things πŸ™‚


          • Thank you very much. Again, so insightful. I completely agree about looking back and rolling eyes. I long gave up on talking to therapists because they invariably point out (correctly obviously) that I am the one making those choices. It’s hard to explain to others (which is why I am excited to have found you and your blog) that choice really is between feeling alive and feeling lukewarm, bored almost, and lukewarm doesn’t seem to honor what life can and does offer. Since we only have one, well then, we might as well live it. I think however that somewhere at the bottom is the core which is stronger and knowing despite all these outwardly disastrous choices, the center which sustains this otherwise not prudent way of existence. Some core that protects us from selfdestructing. I have a very decent career for instance, very “square” and It feels like an anchor at times the other things go down in flames πŸ™‚ but I suppose it will catch up with me as I am getting older (too) as I increasingly feel the need to just love unconditionally and very deeply to the point of really giving everything and I consciously chose it because looking back I do see all that intensity leaves little room for stepping back, nurturing, forgiving and supporting. Indintbyrtbdo this in romantic relationships they are still fraught with power plays and invariably Losing each other. I mean loving the child, parents, animals, those in my life who are truly vulnerable. As I get older I am learning to love that way, not expecting anything at all, they could really be horrors to me, and being very happy just seeing those vulnerables better off. The compete absence of power games there is almost the kind of transcending feeling. None of them knows how long a journey I had to travel to get to this place and they perhaps don’t know the depth of my devotion and it doesn’t matter, I am still happy. Anyway I am really glad you are there and Grateful for your insights. Thank you.


            • That’s a wonderful insight, thank you so much for sharing πŸ™‚

              I have to admit that I always thought the idea that we get wiser as we get older to be a bit of a myth, but as I get older, not sure if I’m actually wiser but I feel more at peace with all the different pieces of my life and the lives of those others with whom I’ve crossed paths (and with whom I’ve sometimes had major issues that never really got resolved). I’ve become more accepting of things and people as they are, and that includes myself – accepting ourselves, and our life story, can be the hardest challenge because we’re often programmed to never accept it, there’s this message on the airwaves which is constantly saying – be better, do better – but aging makes you realise that sometimes things as they are is exactly as they need to be, and that better isn’t always better, it’s just different.


  30. I should add that I have both Pluto and Uranus in the 1st house. There are quite a few similarities I find it an odd coincidence. Anyway thank you in advance for responding. S.


  31. Sylvia, glad you resurrected the discussion and anupturnedsoul – HUGE appreciation for your thread. So helpful and relevant. Yup, another 7th house pisces chiron with virgo pluto/uranus in 1st who is grateful to have found your insights, thank you!!


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Have you noticed any changes or shifts since transiting Chiron has returned to Pisces. Have you had your Chiron return yet?


  32. Thanks so much for your insightful and helpful perspective. Chiron in Cap in 7th here etc etc..
    Many thanks


  33. Hi, thank you for the great written article and your openings which was some time ago. I usually don’t comment on this threads but this a blog so I thought I pop by. I also have Chiron in 7th in Taurus. The biggest trauma was probably that I lost my father (Taurus-natal) who was my best friend apart of being parent, and subsequently having had very complicated to abusive relationships with mother and siblings, and emotional abuse from romantic partners. I am not able to establish healthy relationships partly because I m reluctant and afraid of rejection and lost (many times I lose people I love that is out my control), and partly that I attract emotionally abusive and controlling partners. I am preoccupied with equality in relationships and attract partners who are overly selfish and don’t listen and relate, after I feel unhappy of course. I feel like a doomed in relationship area so I re-compensate in other areas…Not easy, but is also something that gives freedom and creativity so yeah, keep riding the wave πŸ™‚ we all deserve loving relationships.


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      The most important relationship in our lives is the one we have with ourselves. Chiron in the 7th seems to push those who have the placement to relate better with themselves before they can relate better with others – our wounding often comes from others and our healing comes from within ourselves. We have to go into the wound to find the healing, how we do that is up to us individually – in the chart it may be reflected by aspects to Chiron, placements in the 1st house, and positioning of the ruling planet of the sign of our Chiron. So for you Venus, its placement and aspects, because of its rulership of Taurus will be connected to your Chiron.

      Compensating in other areas sounds like it may be exactly what the inner doctor ordered – loving relationships don’t have to be with people, they can be with anything which nourishes our heart and soul. Freedom and creativity sound delicious πŸ™‚


  34. we might have something in common. i also have chiron in the 7th house in taurus while mercury, the sun, venus, and jupiter hang out in scorpio in the first house. i can relate somewhat to role reversal, yes with my mom too, and ending up helping people who are supposed to be helping me.
    i haven’t studied chiron very much, i thought it referred to healing powers, so for me i can heal my partner (or others) in an earthy way by laying on hands, etc?
    however, and this doesn’t relate to chiron but it relates to having a lot of stuff in your first house, as i also do. i read it as saying i am so incredibly plagued by self and the mysteries of my self and how i come off to people, that the solution is to focus on other people, like a partner.
    but i liked the way you used your first house planets to heal your chiron wound.
    i suppose for me, when i look at the planets opposite chiron, they appear to be all the positive planets. The sun is pure light, mercury is a messenger in motion, venus is love and beauty and jupiter is expansion. the somber, cold, weird, and aggressive planets are not present (unless you count mercury as cold, in which case oh well because this is my interpretation, haha)
    so i think that means if i want to get by better with people, i need to realize that acting in any of the following ways: somber, cold, weird, or aggressive, is not the easiest way, not the way towards healing as your post addresses. i am seriously having a revelation right now writing this to you and i am so glad because this mystery is a lifelong torture and just recently came to yet another head, which is why i am digging around in the charts again. because i definitely do act somber, cold, weird, or aggressive with others i think.
    my somberness, coldness, weirdness, and aggression all have their place, but i can see now that in dealing with other people i really ought to focus on the bright side of my personal presence, play up my venusian friendliness, show generosity, and dazzle them with my fine speaking and wit (but hopefully it’s the nice wit most of the time.)
    so thank you and i would welcome hearing back from you!


    • Thank you Jen! My transit is now mercury in 1st square my 7th! Your spot on time with your insights! Maybe a good outlet and self expression are key for you!
      I have mercury in gemini 7th and sun taurus 7th and chiron 7th.
      I hope you also find ways to love yourself!

      My best, Miranda


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      I think you’ve hit the nail on the head about what you shared being ‘your interpretation’ – that’s one of the best things about a tool like astrology, it is more about discovering our own interpretation (sometimes through reading the interpretations of others) because that’s how we figure ourselves and our story out.

      Chiron in the 7th seems to support the whole – figuring yourself out for yourself – thing often through challenges in relationships and relating to others, with others sometimes deciding who we are and not seeing us for who we actually are, giving us a role which doesn’t suit us, demanding that we cater to them and push aside our needs to do that, etc. I think the relationship challenges vary according to the sign/signs in the 7th (as well as those of the 1st, and Chiron’s sign and aspects.

      I have the Virgo/Pisces axis across the 1st/7th which would be experienced differently from the Scorpio/Taurus axis that you have. Chiron in Pisces has blurred boundaries between self and other, with a tendency to merge and be confused about what is self and what is other – this can be useful once the issues of it have been worked out. With Chiron – the wound provides the healing, but to get the healing the wound has to be investigated and understood. Virgo brings a strong critical and analytical factor into the mix.

      I think Scorpio/Taurus might centre around power and control – both the positive and negative sides of those and the ways both signs work with them.

      Chiron oppositions are puzzling at times because it does often feel as though the very things which make up who you are hurt others – part of your identity becomes ‘the one who hurts others’ and thus also ‘the one who hurts’ because you can end up seeing your self as a being who causes pain for others just by existing (which was a dynamic in my childhood), however they can also help to heal others – sometimes in a roundabout manner, sometimes directly – as your very existence, who you are, acts like a prod which highlights a problem, a wound, that needs attention.

      I’ve had people react to an expression on my face (even when I thought I was expressionless) as though I’d just stuck my finger into a bullet hole in their arm. I’ve had people tell me aggressively not to look at them ‘that way’ when I all I was doing was looking at them because if I looked away they would get mad or upset at me for not looking at them (this has happened too). While other times people have told me that my look or presence is calming – and yet again I haven’t done anything other than just be there and be me.

      So I think how Chiron works across the 1st/7th house axis is more about being authentically yourself rather than trying to be an altered version of yourself because how you are connects with how others are – if you’re authentic you touch the authenticity in others, if you accept yourself as you are then you offer that to others too. Who you are can help others to be who they are.

      So your ‘somberness, coldness, weirdness, and aggression’ do indeed have their place – perhaps they are central to your healing ability.

      There’s an interesting discussion which Elsa over at Elsa Elsa, has regularly about ‘Scorpionic’ people (anyone with strong Scorpio in their chart) with her forum. Some people find Scorpionic people to be difficult, too intense, and avoid them, while others find them to be the depths they are seeking, a haven of real and gravitate towards them.

      Ultimately though – all of you – is both the wound and the healing, and through exploring yourself (a journey often prompted through issues which arise through relating to others) you discover your depths and bring the treasures which you find there to share with others. πŸ™‚


  35. Wow, you have perfectly described my relationship with my mother….I was always the parent with her and, as such, chose not to have children. When do I get my needs met?….a question I constantly ask even at 49.

    I have Chiron in Pisces in 7th opposite Pluto, Sun, Uranus, and Mercury in Virgo in 1st with Saturn in Aries in 8th.

    I appreciate your sharing. Some days this path is more than I can do alone. It’s nice to find some resonance along the way. β™‘β™‘β™‘


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      I definitely resonate with your path. It is very much a go it alone while also not being able to go it alone kind of struggle, it was designed that way – at least looking at it through the eyes of astrology has given me that perspective which is both helpful and unhelpful.

      I was recently reviewing my 7th house placements and… still getting perplexed by them.

      Chiron in the 7th is a perpetual cycle of healing and hurting through relationship with the wound and the cure located in the same place, coming from other people yet also emanating from the self as the 1st house is involved in a relationship with the 7th.

      I have North Node conjunct Chiron – with NN in Aries… NN in Aries = asserting your self, but in the 7th NN is about the other and sort of = not asserting your self in relationships but allowing the other to assert themselves as your South Node is in 1st house which = everything was always about you in past lives but not in this one ducky! This is where I usually end up screaming at my chart that it’s an a-hole… especially since Pluto and Uranus are in my 1st (with Uranus amped up by a Jupiter conjunction), those two Outer planets in the house of Self are sometimes monsters of independence which make the whole self and other living happily ever after problematic even on an easy day.

      My partner has Sun/Mercury/Uranus/Pluto conjunct in Virgo – all those planets together in Virgo = super server, and just like the computers people rely on you to take on and store all of their stuff, look after it for them, be always ready to serve their needs at the click of a button, to never break down or experience glitches in your system because then… what would all those people who rely on you do!!?! He takes on way too much responsibility for meeting the needs of others and often wears himself out meeting those needs and going beyond what was expected in the line of duty.

      We’re quite well-suited because I try to ask as little of him as possible (due to my own need to perceive myself as independent as is humanly possible… which I regularly fail at doing), but he often finds that confusing and annoying – why am I not asking him to fulfill my needs!?

      I mentioned that relationship story because sometimes the questions we ask like – when do I get my needs met? – well… are we actually owning up to the fact that we have needs, are we acknowledging our needs or dismissing them out of habit or something else, are we asking others to meet our needs, if we are are we letting them do stuff for us… and if we let others do stuff for us do we end up getting frustrated because their attempt to meet our needs left our needs unmet (Virgo-Pisces axis can be prone to Virgo-Pisces problems, like perfectionism and overly high expectations that are too idealistic).

      Sometimes our needs are met by not being met… and that is another side to Chiron in Pisces in 7th which deepens the puzzle of it.

      And sometimes all we really need is someone else to notice that we have needs too even if we don’t say anything about that kind of thing because… we wouldn’t want to bother anyone and there are so many people who have far bigger needs, for worse problems… but still it would be nice to just have a nod of understanding πŸ™‚


  36. Hello!
    Wonderful post! πŸ™‚
    So many comments from other 1st/7th house chiron folk – i’ll have to read all the stories and perhaps find some healing in familiar company πŸ™‚
    I’ve taurus/7th house chiron OPP Scorpio1st house Uranus – chiron OPP uranus exact – Uranus conjunt AC.
    Throw in there an unaspected moon near the IC squaring both house 1 and 7 planets – i won’t bother with the others, however Venus is proud up there nestling the MC – my god, my natal is not ALL dark!!
    People problems…ahhha!
    I’ve done the ‘It’s their fault, no, no it’s me, there’s a problem with me, i just don’t get people because I’m an alien’ routine more times than i care to admit.
    With Chiron in Taurus i’ve noticed that it’s very much a case of the ‘things people say’ which is very wounding or healing aswell as their actions, what with Taurus ruling the neck/voice of the body.

    I’ll tell you a chironic 7th house story -i moved internationally, later to discover my new home was very near my Chiron square AC astrocartography line.
    I gave a couple who ended up being my neighbour 100 grand cash for a very run down property – for a swamp essentially – for 2 yrs the wife didn’t speak to me, ignored me….doted my boyfriend mind you…hahahaa…(he doesn’t have chiron in the 7th!)…. 2yrs after us moving here her husband suddenly died and i spent that day organising his funeral, also making the coffin, yes, making the coffin by hand….house 1 Uranus don’t forget ….this was also on MY birthday which EVERYONE forgot, including my family AND EVEN my boyfriend who was with me helping with the funeral! Coincidentally this birthday year for me was a year i dreaded for years as i had a vision when younger i would die at that age…8th house sun stuff colliding with Chiron! I couldn’t believe what was happening.

    For the next 2 yrs after his death i looked after her property and animals as her knee jerk reaction to her husbands death was to run away.
    She then said to me during that time ‘I’m now glad you’re here’. I thought, ‘sure you are, i’m looking after your home responsibilities while you get absolute freedom to run away from your problems’ (her children didn’t live far away either and even they didn’t bother helping look after her house/animals)
    The one time one of her children came to her house, her dog ran away that day – never returned – and it was ME walking the hills and mountain paths for days looking for him and putting up posters notifying the community he was lost. I notified them he was missing and they did nothing.

    I felt like i was solving all their problems while my life at that specific time, on the other hand, was a mess – i had no home, i was living in a tent in the northern hemisphere, (house i bought was a derelict ruin) i had no mains water, no electric, no gas, no hot water, no appliances, i had clothes and a tent and a handsaw for cutting wood for a fire to heat myself and cook with.

    She returned with the aim of living home again, but she soon ran away again, she could only live for a week at a time at the place before running away for months. She hated living here when her husband was alive and was never here, but after he died she completely ran away. This went on for 5 years after his death.
    When she would visit, she would turn up out of the blue and stay until the early hours. No consideration for our life schedule.
    She never did thank us for looking after her place, or the funeral help, or the help with organising this that and the other in her life.
    One day she was passing by and said, ‘You’re not very nice neighbours’ after lamenting that we didn’t ‘pop in for coffee’ to see her for the few days she would stay in the house amidst the MONTHS of her not being here.
    I couldn’t bring myself to respond that many many times we had been up to see her, and she is never there.
    I hate stating the obvious – it tends to rub people up the wrong way…doesn’t it chiron 7thers? πŸ™‚

    I felt completely used.
    As a thankyou she has spread less than pleasant rumours about me throughout the community – which i find hilarious as she doesn’t know me at all – she never bothered to ever listen or ask me about myself or my life! I listened to her, constantly.
    She then moved-in a group of ‘hippies’ into her place to help her out who of course are chiron sparks for me, yet again. She has managed to run away from her problems and other people take them on for her…it’s incredible!

    That chiron story is quite tame compared to the treatment i’ve experienced with other people, completely unprovoked by me because i am always looking for the path of least resistance and i find being friendly and helpful to be the best path to that end!
    Thanks to studying astrology i now know why being nice to people gets me hurt.

    I’ve experienced road rage from others, very nasty road rage, a machete was used to threaten me, I narrowly missed being murdered by an adult when i was a child, quick thinking and quick acting Uranus house 1 helped me ‘outsmart’ my attacker. My mother, who i also looked after upturnedsoul like yourself, was attacked aswell as my younger brother, who i also had to look after when i was 5-16. I was 6.5yrs old.
    I’ve had strangers throw their drinks at me in bars. My friends will keep secrets from me about my boyfriends bad behaviour – protecting him rather than me!
    I’ve experienced many physical attacks due to the chiron 7th house opposition of Uranus house 1 conjunct AC.
    The blessing is having a ‘unique’ body strength for a woman my size. it astounds everyone. I don’t work out either! So i’m thankful for Uranus house 1 for the security of having a strong, weird body. I am able to fight if i have to but i absolutely don’t relish it of course! I’m a cancerian for god’s sake, not a warrior wrestling aries!

    I am wary of people now i’m older. I don’t assume they’re nice. Like you upturnedsoul, i thought when i had the freedom from my parents and was finally an adult i would feel free from this odd cross we bear…and was equally as shocked as you when i realised the world was mostly, cruel to me, despite now being a ‘free spirit’.

    I thank astrology for bringing so much insight into this ‘other people’ chiron problem. It came in the nick of time as i was quite prepared to live a very lonely life and give up on people altogether. Having that chiron/1st house Uranus axis, for me, i feel that every awful encounter i have with a person makes me physically ill. Don’t forget my wayward moon squares both these planets too so that is not a stabilising aspect!

    We should have a forum for chiron 7th house-ers!
    We can heal one another with the natural compassion forged through these experiences πŸ™‚

    I would highly recommend looking into astrocartography if you have chiron DC / 7th house position. Know that the Chiron line will bring you these experiences thick and fast.
    I wish to move from this line of course but am financially stuck here, after the last episode with another person locally who tried to get me sent to prison, despite me being completely innocent!! (8th house sun- institutions& prison, chiron 7th/DC Taurus – Lies being spoken about me by others harming me) Yes, i was ransacked by the police, completely all my freedom and liberty illegally imposed upon, countless court dates, and finally the judge threw it out. It was ALL lies, and i was innocent of everything. I couldn’t believe how bad this had got, with ‘others’ who i didn’t know and they didn’t know me!!
    Chiron in the 7th is a powerful placement. Don’t under-estimate it.
    I say this on a day when the sun exactly conjuncts Pluto – how fitting πŸ™‚
    I think this was healing and gave my sun a pat on the back for being honest enough to tell my chiron story. I HATE the victim stance but after all these experiences i have no idea how to be with people and feel violated and victimised to my core.

    Your post has given me hope, upturnedsoul, and i’m glad what i experience is also understood by others with this placement.
    Luck and healing hugs


      • Please delete my reaction. I was angry and drunk at the time… blush blush*

        But hey for real, sun in taurus and chiron in taurus both 7th house.. I can be my worst enemy!
        It all depends of course what you value in life.
        To much self reflection and feeling guilt gives you no healthy sense of self.
        Everything in my horoscope is either this or that, black or white..
        Ive experienced a lot.. rape/ abuse.. blamed myself. Depression.. when you feel you finally dealt with it.. you see others so you want to uplift them which keeps you kinda going through your own emotional backpack.. with feeling drained.
        Ive done reiki 1 & 2, done reading about eckhart tolle about the painbody and ego… all that makes me philosophy even more! Which i acknowledge of myself.. which keeps the mystery going in my aura offcourse AS scorpio with jupiter in scorpio 12th house R. Pluto R in libra 12th house..
        I also have uranus in 1st house.. tiny lady of 1.55 cm which looks like I do sport lol yeah.. reading..
        My moon in libra 11th house with saturn R in libra.. difficult one… If I dont feel at home or appreciated im gone!
        Sometimes it feels im a black hole driftig in this puppet life on earth.. binded by the set up of my environment or responsibilities.. I can fit in anywhere with no sense of self.. it can give me a good observation eye.. not knowing where the knowing where the info comes from..
        I also noticed if I find the strength to be myself.. I feel guilty for beeing selfish.
        People project their stuff on me or I feel reflected in some way.. then I study about energy fields with law of attraction.. tried that out it kinda works.. untill your believe system cracks up or you get a glitch so to say of somebody else.. or event or whatever.. at my lowest I feel like an alien planted here or due to bad karma.. then I study that.. pfff ongoing… the search outside myself then inside myself.. then! Boom.. face reality!
        I am part of this universe trying to find my place.. sometimes I feel a victim of circumstances of my outer world and their expectation of me so I have to sacrifice myself to be part of the whole.. does that make me a narcisist/ an individual or healthy sense of self boundary?
        Human design helped me to see things in a different light as well.
        Then I question.. isnt everything self fullfilling prophecy? Free to believe whatever?
        Trancendence.. to see the overall picture..
        Sorry I keep talking…


        • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

          I’ve deleted your previous comment as requested.

          The problem with trying to find your place in this world is that the world of humans is made up of alternate realities. Each alternate reality is sustained by a group of people believing that their reality is the real one (and that those who don’t buy into their reality are delusional).

          For instance scientists live in a scientific world where everything can be explained by science and if it can’t it will be eventually once they either invent new scientific methods to explain it or once they dismiss factors which keep it from fitting into existing scientific methods. For mathematicians the world is entirely made up of numbers, patterns and equations. For botanists the world is a giant plant. For astronomers it’s a spinning sphere of alien substance, a small speck in a galaxy which is a tiny speck in an even greater whole (which may be endless or maybe not).

          You made a very insightful observation about how when you try something out ‘it kinda works’ and it kinda works because while you’re in the initial phases of being interested in it, learning about it, and feeling that the answers to your questions may exist within this theory and practice, you invest your energy into it, you immerse yourself in it and you make it kinda work. But as you perceptively pointed out, your belief system can crack. Now while some people when faced with a belief system cracking may decide to fix the crack, cover it up, pretend the crack isn’t there, other see the crack as the end of the validity of that belief system and they move on to find another belief system, one which won’t crack.

          The Japanese have an fascinating philosophy known as Wabi-Sabi, which incorporates the cracks, accepts them, sees them as a part of the whole. The crack is not a negative, a sign of a failing, instead it is a positive, a sign of life living with death and decay, cracks, being a part of life living. In ceramic bowls which crack, the cracks are filled with a different substance to accentuate them.

          For philosophers the world is a riddle to be solved by exploring the abstract (it’s interesting to note that philosophy used to be a part of science until it splintered off and became separate). For astrologers the world is a chart divided into twelve sections which interact through aspects and transits, etc (also of note was that once upon a time astrology and astronomy were interlinked, and just like cells they divided).

          There are many alternate ways of approaching and perceiving the world, others, ourselves – and our place in it. Some people pick a place and work to make it work for them. Some people are given a place and stay there never questioning it because they’re okay with accepting their given place. Some people are uncomfortable with their given place, look for somewhere else to fit in and maybe they find it or maybe they don’t because maybe their place is in between all other places.

          If you have a strong Uranus in your chart (such as in the 1st house) you’re only really going to be comfortable in the uncomfortable zone, because that friction feeds the lust and quest for freedom from everything and everyone. Uranus is too big to fit in anywhere – its an ocean trying to fit into a glass, with the glass always empty because that much water empties any vessel it tries to fill due to the force of its current and flow.

          You do actually have a place, a place which is populated by many people – the reality of those who feel like aliens on this planet, those who seek a home and a group to belong to but never find it. Those who feel tremendously alone and never quite notice how much company they have in their tremendous aloneness.

          With Chiron in the 7th – who you are is actually who everyone else is too, and just like everyone else you may feel that no one understands who you are except perhaps you but even you aren’t sure if you’ve understood who you are. Your wound is what connects you to others. You being you as you are constantly wandering from thing to thing, belief to belief, being disappointed by cracks in the system and slipping through them to escape a system which might have restricted you to one facet of personality or one experience of being and life… and within that wound is the healing. The healing comes from accepting the conundrum posed by the wound and seeing that conundrum in everything and everyone.

          The transcendental overall picture is – that within the smallest drop there is an entire universe, and that smallest drop is part of an ocean outside of it which is also inside of it. Everything is atoms and atoms can become everything.

          There is no perfect answer to any question, there just is the answer which appeals to you in a moment and you invest yourself in it until you no longer invest yourself in it.

          You’re fine as you are, however you are at any given moment, you are whole, you are the earth, the ocean, the universe in motion, a human being and so much of what you’re experiencing is what others experience too, you’re just more open about it, more intensely aware of it.


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      With Uranus conj Asc and opposing Chiron – you’ll never be a traditional ‘victim’, and you’ll most likely view the role of ‘victim’ and victimhood as being a prison in and of itself, so even when you acknowledge that this is how you feel and where you are, you’ll fight it trying to free yourself from it. Uranus desperately seeks freedom from everyone and everything, but it can never escape itself. It’s a challenging planet to have in the 1st and conjunct ASC – outer impersonal planets in personal houses really struggle and create struggle for the individual who has them there. Everything you do or don’t do personally seems to affect the world around you, and everything the world around you does seems to impact the deeply personal even if logically it shouldn’t.

      When someone with Chiron in the 7th doesn’t address their own victim status – which we tend to be afraid to do for various reasons (such as hating the victim stance – you might want to explore where the root of that hate for that stance lies, to find its inception point. When I did that for myself it shifted things quite a bit) – they tend to attract more ‘victims’, as in other people who act out the wound for the person with Chiron in the 7th.

      This thread on a forum is quite interesting, especially the second comment by the astrologer who runs the forum and the reaction to it and conversation which ensued – http://www.elsaelsa.com/forum/astrology/chiron-in-the-7th-house-healing-others/

      If we don’t deal with the ‘victim’ side of ourselves we’ll end up facing it in others. But admitting and accepting that we’re a victim can be difficult, and we’re often afraid of how we might spiral if we do that. Will we get stuck forever playing the victim once we give in to it once?

      Telling your story here was a powerful thing to do – how did you feel afterwards?

      Your story is typically Uranian, as in there’s nothing typical about it, it’s strange on so many levels, extraordinary, and yet with all the weird there’s themes which occur regularly in human life.

      I have some questions:

      1 – How did you end up there? What made you buy that property? What made you move abroad to be there?

      The hows and whys of how you ended up there are relevant to the story of what happened there. What did you leave behind and what did you hope to find? And since you’ve mentioned astrocartography – what was it for the place where you lived before you moved? Why do you think you were drawn to this adventure and location?

      2 – The derelict ruin you bought – how much of it has been fixed since you moved there? Did you stay focused on it and your original plans for it or did you get sidetracked by others, did the stories of others lure you away from your own?

      3 – Why did you get so involved in this other person’s story? What was it about this woman which made you so determined to help her even though she repeatedly rejected the help?

      You might find this blog of interest – https://chirotic.wordpress.com/ – I came across it awhile back when first exploring more about Chiron and I check in on it every now and then. It’s interesting to explore someone else’s view and experience of Chiron, because so little is still understood about the wounded healer it leaves it more open to personal interpretation.

      Also this post which I read the other day, which gives an intriguing perspective on the outer planets – http://twilightstarsong.blogspot.co.uk/2017/01/outer-planetary-transits-different.html

      With your Chiron in close contact with Uranus and with them being across the 1st/7th axis – healing and wounding will be unusual, found in unexpected places and people. The healing you bring to others won’t be conventional, and you might not even notice when you’re doing it – and you may not notice when others do it for you, as it also won’t follow regular routes and won’t conform to the norm.

      With your Moon caught between the two, perhaps sometimes pulled apart by them like a loved one caught between two lovers, maybe the emotions, the nurturing within is the meeting ground – How do your Uranus and your Chiron nurture you?


      • Thank you for your reply Upturnedsoul – you have given me lots to mull over πŸ™‚ The links you post are very interesting, thank you for taking the time to reference them for me πŸ™‚
        I missed your drunk, angry reply Miranda – and as you requested it to be removed, i can only imagine that is a blessing, so thank you for being so kind! LOL We all have our times of going OTT …don’t beat yourself up πŸ™‚

        You have a lovely gift Upturnedsoul for bringing out what is hidden, and to me, that’s a rare gift! Truly πŸ™‚

        My journey in this new place away from home went from bad to worse as soon as we moved here!
        Astrocartography is SOOO powerful! Especially if one moves closer to their main ‘Power’ lines.
        You’ll probably not be surprised either, when i tell you that the true INTENTION for this move was to live THE life dream that me and my partner had imagined for 15yrs previous to moving here.
        Virgo 10th house with mars and saturn there – i always wanted to own land and grow my own ultra-pure organic food and have a ‘mini’ farm-stead…homestead.
        Every place i rented previously i turned the garden into a food garden. I had boundless energy and strict discipline for this type of lifestyle – thanks to that mars πŸ™‚

        I’ll try to answer you questions as succinctly as i can, it’s a challenge for a jupiter conjunct mercury in cancer…but i’ll try!

        I was living near my jupiter/neptune aspect lines in my home country. Neptune house 2 trines venus conjunct MC – i made money making restoring old heritage listed properties. I’m an artist and it was a good way to have a ‘proper job’ while still being creative and making my venus feel expressed. Taking something old and worn out and broken and making it beautiful again – pure bliss for me!! Work was always easy to find for me.

        The move here put me 40km by the side of chiron square AC aspect line – and Venus conjunct MC Power line about 80km away. So much closer by 300 miles to chiron and venus line.
        My venus is conjunct my MC in leo – house 9 side. 2 degrees off exact for my relocate natal here.
        Venus squares chiron 7th house taurus and squares Uranus 1st house scorpio.
        Why i thought my venus was in a good position in my previous comment i’ll never know!
        My moon unaspected at the bottom of my chart on its own, in damn capricorn, house 3, dangling with a minor aspect of inconjunct to saturn house 10 – to saturn!! (Im a cancer sun btw house 8 natally) Moon squares AC and DC exact.

        So by moving here i’ve activated a ‘grand square’ in my chart between venus, uranus, chiron and my moon. (i’m also closer to a moon aspect line here too)

        This manifested immediately with sleeping soooo much. I was soooo tired all the time. Then out of the blue, i would have loads of energy. Physically i was changing and had no idea why. Nothing had changed except my location. Within 2 years i was unable to walk, work, socialise, build my home, i could not function. Weight dropped off me and i looked anorexic despite not having any issues with food – cancerians LOVE their food and no, i’m never going to deprive myself of THAT delight!
        I wasn’t studying astrology at the time – but suffice to say i knew there was a ‘force’ at work in this new place that was ‘different energy’ to what i had experienced in my home country. I considered everything – even poltergeist interference!!.. as i had bought a very old stone ruin with lots of history. I felt like i was being psychically attacked and it filtered through to everything that needed to be done to create a home in this new place.

        I was having seizures and severe health episodes that occurred out of the blue – Uranus of course, unbeknownst to me – Transit PLuto squaring my uranus house 1. (T pluto now heading to conjunct my natal moon 8 degrees away – eeek!)
        Doctor visits were no help – no surprise with chiron in the 7th!! So i researched until my head exploded – to determine which tests would be suitable. Endocrine problems – scorpio AC, cancer sun, taurus DC – ovaries, thyroid, adrenals, pituitary hormones turned out to be very low. Endocrinologists online suggest i get a pituitary scan as it’s suspected pituitary problems (pituitary rules by Uranus – can this get any worse?!) Public health care here is dire and people wait years for scans. I’m one of those people. I’m trying to save up to go privately. In the meantime i live through random episodes of health collapse. Spontaneous hypothermia due to the thyroid shutting down unexpectantly – that kind of thing. Adrenal crisis when cortisol gets very low.
        Despite this, i fell empowered because i educated myself about endocrinology, so understand better what is going on, despite not being able to do anything about it.
        I really feel caught in the grand natal square. Me and my partner talk so much about what solutions are available to us – and if you knew the predicament fully you would realise that all solutions means exchanging old serious issues with new serious issues. Frying pan into the fire type scenario.

        So this life ‘dream’ has truly turned out to be a nightmare – and sure, it’s disappointing but you know, it many ways i find it funny. I really do. Because it’s freed me to not bind myself to anything – i know the importance of letting go. I know the VALUE of not being bound by even delightful whimsical life dreams and aspirations. I didn’t realise how bound i felt to my life dreams, until i got to live it. and it killed me!!!
        Thank god i have that 8th house sun…to be able to see the depths to this journey. To open more spiritually when the ‘chips are down’.

        So while i’ve been going through it on a personal level – the chiron experiences, as i described in my earlier post, were occurring alongside my health demise.
        It soon manifested that the ‘chironic’ people in my life, like my neighbour – their presence would make me feel physically ill. However, that was mainly due to them turning up suddenly unannounced and scaring my crap adrenal function half to death! I would spend the entire conversation shaking, and ironically they wouldn’t notice!

        The ruin has not been restored in the 8 yrs of being here. We still live in a ‘temporary’ home – which essentially is one room. Since finding out my birth time i’ve been able to see the real astrocartography and my real natal.
        Upon moving here the global recession hit within 6 months. The place here was suddenly worth half the price we bought it for. The building industry collapsed and so all the jobs i knew i could get to continue my old job of restoring old places and painting new places vanished due to the collapse.
        The business i had with my partner was thriving, in the old place, and we planned to continue that here as there was a building boom in the new place – until the global recession hit just after we moved here!. So income suddenly dried up. The 50k savings we brought with us got swallowed in initial building costs here and living costs.

        I wish my Venus power line was a Venus IC line – instead of an MC line! I have many money-making plans and ideas despite not having the health for hard work, my brain still works. Yet i have no home to work from! It’s a catch 22 situation. No excess money to spend on building another DRY building to work from. Without work space, no money… it drives me nuts.

        I didn’t want to get involved in my neighbours story. Gosh, quite the opposite! With her being so cold towards me for the first 2 yrs of being here i avoided her energy….for my health! It was only due to the sudden unexpected death of her husband that caused us to be embroiled in her life. The police initially came to us to be with her that day. Then her family turned up. They were useless and didn’t know what to do, and as i’m an 8th house sun and familiar with death legal processes i helped them sort out the funeral. The next day they declared a ‘rustic’ burial and the need for a coffin to be built. It was meant to be a ‘community’ project – many people around but not many people doing anything. I make stuff with my hands so me and my partner and 2 other men made the coffin. It was all obligatory because no-one else had any initiative. Some people don’t cope with death well and lose their minds. We didn’t realise that then we would be expected to continue the obligation. It was only after initially helping to look after her place during the funeral and 2 weeks of his death, that she disappeared and rarely turned up at all! No-one else was turning up to look after the place or animals. It then became an obligation forced on us. When we contacted her to do something about it, one animal had already run off by himself and the others she then gave to other people in the community to look after before running away again!
        She never rejected the help we gave at the time of giving it, it was only after 4 yrs that she said ‘you’re not very nice neighbours are you?’ – which just floored me!

        Interesting you talk about the ‘victim stance’ – and my hatred of it!
        I don’t like portraying a ‘classical’ victim because i believe that in life’s challenges comes the greatest spiritual learning. Only through the darkest experiences have i found an inner strength that i never knew existed. It’s a weird feeling to feel betrayed and hurt by chironic others experiences but yet also feel an inner strength growing. So i can’t ever say ‘poor me this happened to me and i’m so damaged’ because i know i’ve got the better end of the deal spiritually.
        Of course it’s crushing to my EGO that my mother wasn’t a mother at all, that people have victimised me just because i’m me with a 7th chiron energy, that i’ve been abused and broken by so many instances and people, it KILLS my ego over and over….because my ego needs to be loved and appreciated by all, especially if i’m nice to them surely?! (yells venus strutting her stuff at the MC!)
        Perhaps chiron 7 placement is about dissolving of the worst elements of ego through others?
        I’m a believer that the ego does have a purpose – for a healthy level of self confidence and self esteem – but when it gets out of control – that is ugly energy in everyone.
        However, the flip side perhaps is the ego can be burnt down to nothing, and the person lacks essential confidence and esteem.
        I’m having an aha moment :-)….. and i think the reason why i hate the victim stance is because i just CAN’T allow myself to be completely burnt down to a crisp, no matter what. There’s this inner strength which is like the biggest lion preparing for the biggest battle and it just knows it’ll win. I really think the lion here is my soul and the knowledge of it being eternal – so i can never be harmed ultimately by anyone or any one thing.
        Perhaps that’s why i can attract ‘victims’ as i help them to feel better about who they are, and help avert their focus from what has been done to them. I love to help people focus on their talents and bring them out to fruition, to help them find their inner strength to be themselves – and to witness a person feeling more ‘whole’ and less ‘damaged’ is just such a beautiful transition.

        I heal through helping others heal? Yet, as you say Upturnedsoul, i’m never aware of it happening – those moments or even journeys with people are healing journeys….the nuances of healing being so subtle…yet deeply impactual on a spiritual level.

        You’ve made me think so deep and hard about this now – thank you once again! I’m so sorry to waffle…writing really does help me realise ‘stuff’ *goofy smile*!

        I know i would be wise to relocate to literally move my physical body and life out of the grand natal square of venus/chiron/.uranus/moon. However, i am not so naive to think that a mere relocate would solve what has been put into motion here πŸ™‚ It just might take the pressure off somewhat of the intensity of the astrocartography lines.
        A relocate won’t happen anytime soon, so i have to work with the squares and oppositions, which i’m obviously failing at! The one thing which has got stronger is the love between my partner and i, which is such a gift, it’s breath-taking. I know that the other stuff is harsh but when compared to the love we have for oneanother, i find that my healing centre. Our synastry chirons conjunct!

        Thank you for this space Upturnedsoul, it’s been revelatory, never my intention, and therein lies your subtle ability to heal others πŸ™‚
        Such a gift!
        With my best wishes for your journey of chiron healing,


        • Dear P, yours is such a touching and beautiful story of your soul striving to make bearable the harsh realities in your life. May I suggest just for your consideration that the health issues you are experiencing may be in a very real way related to that you aren’t expressing what you really feel or should feel about people in your life like your neighbor who are obviously irresponsible and taking advantage of your kindness. Perhaps you ego, and your sense of self asks you to say no and enforce those boundaries. It doesn’t help thyroid tovsupress your own, in this case seem to be very legitimate needs, and always take care of others. Thyroid and adrenals do poorly with this because it creates internal stress. Astrology is good but perhaps you are using it to excuse poor behavior of people and circumstances which your body is asking you to never tolerate. Anyway, just a suggestion as you sound like such a kind and lovely person I would like you to direct that kindness to yourself first. Sylvia xx


        • Dear Piper,

          I recognize a lot of what you say!
          I’m still learning much about astrology yet but a few things cleared it for me.. check all your retrogrades (energy you turn inwards) you can “project” that on others and check out your astroΓ―de 4580 “child” placement (http://mychristianpsychic.com/journal/asteroid-child/).

          All I do know is about taurus and chiron in 7th house. It should be everybody’s basic needs to have a steady reliable home with income a safe haven.

          I also know if you turn inwards the unconsious and fears come in, they can make that leo.. dramatic and leo can be hypoconderic. The best it wants is to shine and be proud.
          When I fear I come across more things that intensify it.. untill! Boom it burst and want to break free.. scorpio 3 fases.. death- scorpio- phoenix story..

          Tell me if im wrong but cancer in 8th.. you love to trust yourself and your intuition but when your so sensitive you don’t feel safe to connect chiron in taurus?
          Stay open and let your emotions out good/ bad it’s all good.
          I also found out im good in symbiose to use my intuΓ―tion.. there is a danger in it.. know your boundary what’s yours and what is of another.

          I hope you’ll find the uranus strength of hercules πŸ˜‰
          It will come.. gardening is good to your chiron.

          I also read some articles of pluto in signs of generations ive got pluto in libra but it’s in my 12th house of scorpio and conjunct my AS in scorpio.
          Of which I should be seeing it as pluto in scorpio. About the dark night of the soul.. Ive experienced that a lot! Many times I could have died but im still here!

          Ever heard of isis? She is in cancer my 9th house.. where you receive unconditonal love.
          It’s in feelings How we relate to another but you need to be open about it.
          To much ego.. shuts you off in a nutshell. I know what im talking about πŸ˜‰
          Empathy and compassion are the greatest gifts.
          You value the truth so use that as your guide line πŸ™‚

          Namaste x

          Ps. I can offer a short human design reading to see where your sensitivity’s are!
          Or you can let everything go And live the life you want.. thats what I hear in your story, your true desire. Drop the anxiety. It effects your health.


        • Thank you for answering my questions and for sharing yourself so bravely, boldly and thoughtfully πŸ™‚

          My Chiron is in Pisces and that sign for Chiron is about accepting the ocean you end up swimming in at any given time and trying to make your peace with it however you can. So I resonate with your view that while leaving the place you’re in (and all that entails) may be a solution… it could also not be a solution. Sometimes we’re better off cutting our losses and sometimes we’re not. What if we can’t escape… and what if we stay and face the impossible problem? What if we leave when things are at their worst and shortly after we leave they get better but… we don’t get to reap the better because we took off? It’s always a game of chance, chances taken or missed, or created because we made something meaningful for ourselves out of the ground we’re on.

          One of the astrologers I like to read is this one – http://www.loveyourdesign.com/life-is-giving-you-a-promotion-are-you-ready/ – I’ve linked you to the latest article. She practices a very different kind of astro and you might find it intriguing to explore.

          What struck me the most about what you’ve shared is the vibrancy of the way life courses through you – you are one of those amazing people who truly embraces your own individual path. You think and feel what you think and feel, and experience it organically, as it happens. That’s a hard path to take, but those who take it tend to do so because it’s easier than taking the easy path.

          You’ll never fit in anywhere but you belong everywhere!

          Best wishes on whatever you decide to do, you are creating reality… keep going!


          • Sorry i have to share this..
            I felt the need to write…

            Growing up, dealing with the hardships of my life…
            Knowing it can be better, so here i sacrifice..

            What was i to know? I was a child?
            All my emotions were running wild.
            Trusting every soul on my way..
            Some people took that innocence away.
            All i wanted was some love,
            Eventho, i felt closed-off.
            Finding it hard to stand my ground..
            Even when i felt pushed about.
            And I’m sorry if ive hurt you..
            That i find it hard to tell the truth.

            Sorry dad that you could not accept,
            My sensitivity as a fact..
            Building walls around my heart,
            That drove us even further apart.
            Eventho you didnt not see,
            The effect of your behaviour towards me..
            To disrespect other people around me.
            You must have felt, yourself a whole lot better than me.

            Sorry mom you did not see,
            A young woman with her own dream,
            Instead of comparing and compete or even supporting me,
            You felt as my responsibility.
            Trying to hide your low self esteem.
            Drinking to blow off your steam.
            Didn’t you know i was too young?
            To be your shoulder to cry on.
            Facing problems meant to run..
            That rollercoaster was no fun!

            I forgive myself for beeing naive,
            Feeling lost in my believes,
            Feeling lost wich way to go..
            All because I did not know..
            All these emotions i did not show.

            Sorry ive showed my anger,
            For feeling powerless of myself.
            Struggling for my freedom..
            Beeing me as a grown up woman.

            X M


              • Gosh I was really emotional yesterday.
                Shortly after other things fell in place..
                How I raise my childeren.. is different than How my parents did, they don’t always agree. My childeren are allowed to be themselves and show emotions, something I always had to do on my own.
                Was i pushed in beeing the “rock” for everybody at a young age? Or did I project that?
                Certain events still linger which show up a lot now in the news (about incest, abuse, rape and abortion) like it’s forcing me to what.. find closure? Make a stand? Form an opinion?
                Things I never spoke about..
                My parents like to keep it hidden whatever happens.
                So I learned to go on with life.

                Now beeing a parent of a son and daughter I do see what my parents could have done different but still it feels to hard to judge them.
                Yes my dad could Bully (calling names, deeply insult and beat me or kick me) my mom telling him off.. screaming scouting beeing depressed (and her drinking problem of which people pointed out to her and she didnt acknowledge that ) she even attempt to kill herself.
                If you understand my dad’s background hΓ¨ did make changes for the better, different then my family and was a proud man.
                I saw that as beeing untrue.. beeing proud and at home completely different. Even as a kid ive tried to stand up for myself which angered him more. So I’ve learned to shut up.
                When I had the balls (after years of therapy of some sort) ive confronted him. Offcourse I saw it wrong.. which made it even worse for me.
                Ive done the craziest things to gain some self confidence.. walking around with healing Stones, therapy, chakra healing, reiki, accupuncture you name it.
                Always sought for help outside of me.. now im more at peace.
                But there are still some triggers when I feel it..
                How can I Just closure it?

                And Yes I suspect my first boyfriend I fell in love with had signs of beeing a narcisist. First I was his whole world then he insulted me deeply.. I was used of it of my dad but it did scare me. Always beeing embarressed of myself. Over the years People never understood why. I do have a great boyfriend father of our children) for 16 years now and I can be totally myself but hΓ¨ knows my scars and it’s still playing up every now and then. When I start a New job or when people have expectations, I hope it hΓ¨als.

                My sincerest


                • One of the hardest puzzles to solve in life is the one which isn’t finished. In some ways you are healed, you have found closure, in other ways you’re still healing and still looking for closure – both are valid.

                  The past, present and future dance together – when something changes in the now it changes what will be and what was. We see the past, the people in our past, the lives we had before now differently when there is a change in the now, and the road ahead of us shimmers like a mirage showing alternative possibilities available.

                  When we tell, share, release our story up until now we create a chain reaction and see things, ourselves, others in a different way which then changes the story… everything is always in flux and yet at the same time it is stable.

                  You have a great partner now, you have wonderful children, you are a great partner and wonderful parent – this is your story, this story is one which flowed from other stories and keeps flowing.

                  Keep being yourself doing what you do – this is your gift and sometimes it can appear to be other things, but you are always you, flowing, dancing, puzzling, through your life πŸ™‚


                  • Thank you so much. I appreciate your sharing and compassion. I had to read it a few times and let it sink in.
                    With what you have told me resonates with my human design chart as well. I forget sometimes to let things go.. the more im trying to grasp it the deep er the rabbithole becomes.

                    The mind is an endless tool.

                    My love, M


    • That’s very complicated!!! I can see where you coming for with some of your Natal positions…
      One needs to learn when to let go…and that is the difficult part!
      I intuitively sense it and I think we all do, but it’s when I realize that is a lost cause when the person I’m trying to help is not helping themselves! And in the meanwhile if I’m not taking care of myself and I’m not ok, I’m not in the position of helping someone else.
      So taking care of our self’s shows self respect, and that’s what you’ll mirror in your 7house.
      The way you deal with your 1st house and Uranus, assuring your independence, owing your unicness, and have crafty solutions out of unexpected events and so on relating your ascendant too, will reflect in how your Chiron can operate more happily. But as I mentioned, Uranus is telling you to let go when it’s a lost cause no matter how Taurus wants to hang on! Chiron is telling you to gain your self respect by getting free people that don’t deserve your efforts, that may be your lesson and that may teached them a lesson!


      • Hi, I cant find my message to reply. My life is in a turmoil now. I wrote about my cousin who was a bit drunk and wanted to strangle me. Deep inside I knew hΓ¨ wanted to teach me and wake me up to my emotions and own self worth. I wanted to help him but got reflected on my own issues.
        Now im in a divorce process with 2 childeren which scared me. I was in a relationship for 16 years and it made me unhappy for the last few years. So I started drinking more which didnt help. So I met my cousin with an alcohol problem. He made me see it thè hard way. Both hè and my ex now have saturn in leo 16 degrees.
        Acting like my dad, he’s a leo.
        My dad couldnt cope with my rebel nature. I can turn from one extreme to the other. I think due to my moon in libra 11th house that of uranus. If something feels off or not good I can be so angry and frustrated I shut down and close myself off, I find it hard to talk about it and when I did in my relationship with my ex I didnt feel understand.
        My ex always wanted to protect me, most people do or give me advice. I feel I have to mature but feel like a lost little child. Ive lost my inner voice that is slowly coming back. I feel much fear and then I feel bold. I keep asking for strenght. Because sometimes I do feel lost and not willing to face reality which keeps me locked in.
        I have a square venus-mars-mc-neptune of which I dont understand yet.. is it the paralysed feeling? Some people have said it feels like a dream to be with me.. I know I can be dreamy.
        What scares me now is the responsibilities. I already felt the burden of it in my relationship. Doing everything for everybody and feeling exhausted.
        How do I deal with myself? Knowing what I want feeling confidant? Im also beeing face with fears of money related issues somehow giving me secrurity.
        My lilith is in house 2 saggitarius. My part of Fortune is in aries 0 degrees house 5 so is my Venus.


        • You placed your message on my latest post – https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2017/06/17/headaches-and-heartaches/comment-page-1/#comment-25393

          Going by what you’ve shared it sounds like this relationship with your cousin was a holiday and escape from the life and identity you’ve been living which became a form of prison for you. He came along when you needed a release from the stress, the pressure, the burdens of responsibility, to let go and go wild for awhile. He offered you a playful side to life, the chance to be irresponsible, to have some carefree fun, be a teenager again, be rebellious, but then the play became difficult, dangerous – there was a ‘wake-up call’, time to come back to reality and deal with real life.

          New relationships which occur when we’re going through a big life change often serve as a bridge over troubled water, they aren’t necessarily meant to last and they often don’t once they serve their purpose.

          Being an adult is exhausting, being human is complex and complicated, we all need to take a break every now and then (especially when things get out of balance) from all the grief, worries, fears, and the responsibilities which pile on top of us threatening to crush the life out of us.

          You’re going through a huge change and big fears will be a part of that – the unknown is always daunting and terrifying, yet it is also exciting as you get to participate in the creation of a new way of living and being. Don’t try and figure everything out right away, give yourself plenty of time and space to process what has happened, to adjust to the end of the old and the beginning of the new. Let yourself make mistakes, to experiment. Allow yourself the freedom to discover who you are, what makes you happy, what makes you feel energised and alive, explore your options. Trust your instincts and intuition.

          Maturity comes as we let life teach us through experience, we grow up slowly, gradually… and I’m sure you’re more mature than you realise, your approach to this relationship with your cousin shows that. You know what you need – trust yourself!

          Best wishes!


  37. To all 7th house chironers, you truly are all beautiful souls. This world can only become better with more of you guys around. My ex was one, I really regret breaking up with her. I lost a diamond while drooling over pebbles. A lesson I will never forget and a lesson I have learned.


    • Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚

      Losing a diamond while drooling over pebbles (what a great analogy, btw) is something we all can do (Chiron in the 7th does it too), don’t be too hard on yourself about it. Sometimes the only way we learn things is through experiences which cut to our core.

      Have you explored your own Chiron, and how yours and hers interacted – and how your charts flowed and didn’t flow together.

      People with Chiron in the 7th can sometimes be rather difficult in relationships… because relationships are supposed to be difficult (a challenge) for us.

      Best wishes!


  38. I do identify with you! Having chiron in the 7h 8n Taurus I feel I support everyone and nobody supports me. I have to support myself in all the meanings of the word…
    Partners that I meet seem to bring heavy luggage and I’m able to provide a safe haven for healing and awareness until they are ready to move on.
    Though I feel very luck, cause I’m provided with the strength to endure (Taurus) and South node in Aries with Mars in Pisces trine Moon at Cancer MC( past gifts enable me to handle my pain emotionally), then my Chiron is conjunct the Sun (enlightment, I know my pain at hand) and is parallel Pluto in the 12h to perfection, I really feel the latter in my healing process, I obsess over the issue, try to understand it to the root so I can transform it into a learning lesson and something positive.
    Pluto oposes chart ruler and NN ruler Venus in the 6h of service, so I know where my place to evolve is!
    The bridges of Chiron are all at key points like Uranus in 1st squaring Saturn which trines Venus…Neptune at Sun/Moon midpoint a loosely training Saturn e Venus.
    Chiron have come to my acceptance though painful at times.
    My biggest pain has come for the lack of direction in a vocational role…what is my place in the world? Certainly my purpose is not just being supportive in one on one relationships?
    When Chiron is the 7h and your so absorbed with others and in turn with yourself in that context it’s hard to find a path that can integrate Chiron in this house, because it consumes us.
    When Solar arc Neptune squared my Asc/NN and started hitting opposition to Moon/MC for the first time hit me what I want to do for a living! I enrolled in a massage therapist intense course… I’d really wish to see charts of massage therapists and see where Chiron falls.
    I belive we find the kind of mutual support occasionally in people with the same Chiron Configuration as ours…😊 In my case Taurus is not so emotionally needy, and we must give what we have in order to recieve what we need not what we want, if you realize we get paid it’s just not in the same coin. So we must perceive with an open heart all the gifts we are given!
    I take safety knowing I have the strength and self healing ability that other people lack and they make me feel needed, appreciated and valued…that’s much of what Taurus needs!
    What does your Chiron needs and what can he give to recieve it?


    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      That’s a wonderful in-depth chart analysis, I love how you’ve tied your experience of being you into it!

      I agree that Chiron works similarly to the North Node, in that it’s a placement which points to a challenge, a discomfort zone which requires that we get comfortable being uncomfortable there, figuring it out bit by bit, learning as we go along our path and growing one step at a time.

      I think that being a massage therapist is excellent for a Taurus Chiron (as Taurus is a ‘hands on’ sign, and is very at home with the physical body, understanding through touch and feel), and with the 7th house position you will gain healing through your hands as you give it through them, gaining insight into yourself as you gain insight into others.

      Chiron 7th house – the more you understand yourself the more you understand others and the more you understand others the more you understand yourself, and this brings and gives healing.

      My Chiron is in the Anaretic (29th) degree of Pisces which means it is at the end of a cycle and there is pressure to finally learn the lesson of the placement, conjunct NN in the early degrees of Aries. In some ways this could be read as a wrapping up of an old story and the beginning of a new one all rolled into one. With the NN perhaps showing the way forward for matters relating to Chiron. With Chiron opposing Pluto – self-transformation is needed, and NN opposing Uranus/Jupiter – self-discipline to bring balance is needed, and the results of those must then be shared (7th house) with the collective (Pisces)… I think blogging for me is how I do my Chiron/NN. πŸ™‚


      • Thank you for your words! 😊
        Interesting to know that your Chiron is conjunct my Mars and trine my Moon!
        There’s a star named Scheat at that degree to intensify things, it’s tied with misfortune, suicide, and shipwrecking.
        I believe it’s of the nature of Mercury and Mars and some planets here denote intelligence and creativity of the mind, fortifies planets of it’s own nature. Then Venus gets exalted here and there’s famous artists with this position which through their suffering and compassion created great works of art.
        I have my Draconic Ascendant at this position too. I recommend you do a Draconic chart and read along with your Natal for enlightment.

        With your NN in Aries at early degrees, it reminded me of the power of the fire Ace in the Tarot deck. Here the NN forces the search of the raw initial spark that moves us into action and burns old bridges in the process.
        It’s a very me, more selfish kind of attitude so we can leave the ‘rut’ of being drowned in collective consciousness of Pisces. Is asking to separate yourself as an individual and forge a new and unic personality , where you can identify only with yourself and have your own core.
        Then balance can be achieved, if you are centered you can never feel lost.

        I’ve realised that 1/7house axis requires negotiation!
        I know we initially give without expecting in return but eventually it takes it’s tool.
        We feel sucked from a vampire which is not even awear!
        I believe people should be sensitive enough to realize and just acknowledge, but no….they are totally blind!
        If so when we are in imbalance we must ask for what we need. I know it’s not fair…coz we realize what the person needs and give without being asked.
        Not everyone is like that.
        So we must ask…oh could you do this for me? Or set clearly what each one of us best contribute to the situation.
        So we don’t feel hurt, robbed, stripped and no one did nothing for us!
        Then in return the people we help don’t feel they owe us something, because is a give and take.
        Actually by doing this we are clearly helping others to become awear, be less selfish and probably glad to help us.
        Obviously, not throwing in the face but an easy genuine intention! We need to learn to recieve, at least I do! Even a compliment, I still struggle when I recieve a compliment. Don’t know how to react to it, or recieve a Xmas present which I wasn’t expecting and then I go run and have to give one back to that person…lol that’s me!
        We need a balanced give and take in general, if we are waiting for other people to know intuitively what we need we are always going to be at lost and a true victim. If we don’t speak what we need how others will know? We have to learn to recognise and speak up our needs!
        When you go to a psycologist, say straight away on introduction: The reason I’m here is that I need to be heard and take it all out. In my environment is not possible because soon as I start talking people take my word and start talking of their own problems. I need someone to talk of my problems, and address them as such, help me sort it out. That should give people a huge hint!
        After a friend take over your word and starts rumbling about their life, in the end joke and make the point: oh I came here to talk about my problems and ended up listening to yours and I think maybe mine are not so bad after all!πŸ˜‚ Or say to a friend that when you were talking to another friend about your problems he was insensitive, wasn’t a good listener and changed to talk of his own troubles. That person might understand and actually be more awear of your needs!
        People need to be made awear, you may not be comfortable doing this but we must give them a chance!
        Get that Aries spark to come forward and honestly speak your wishes, have a me time in the spotlight! 😎


        • And actually, your Chiron is tied up your NN by contra-antiscia!
          NN antiscia point is at the late degrees of Virgo opposite your Chiron. Virgo qualities are required to access both at the same time.
          Virgo puts Pisces into order, feelings into draws through the rational mind.
          Then your need to be listen, write a blog, communicate, understand what’s logically going on!
          To get to the root of the problem in order to try to solve it.
          Take care of our health and our own bodies too is essencial, then through the process of a strong logic mind one can access effectively their scattered Pisces Chiron and the effect will be seen on the NN, a more independent and emotionally strong individual, that has been forced into relying on himself and not afraid to stand up for himself specially when other people want to take advantage then he is proud and happy with himself! NN is supposed to make your soul happy! πŸ˜€
          With Pluto involved, you can achieve it quicker that some, I speak by experience that if you wish you can reinvent yourself to become the person you aim.
          You will realise then that when people are actually willing to listen to you that you don’t have that need anymore πŸ˜‰ you become self sufficient in your own way. Universe is working for you to be this way by denying you something (this denial is your hurt/Chiron).
          He takes you the eyes for you to develop your hearing, but in a way that you have no one available to guide you through the obstacles unless you ask!

          What degree is your NN? I have Venus at 8degrees Aries.


        • Funnily enough someone else recently mentioned Scheat in a comment, mentioning that it was part of my NN/Chiron conjunction. After doing a bit of research I reckon it can be read as possibly being ‘drowned’ in the drama of others, and being lured onto the rocks of others by their siren calls for help, since it’s in the 7th and the 7th is more about others than self, and how the self experiences others and can get lost in others.

          A friend of mine was very into the Draconic chart (more so because it was different from their natal chart and they didn’t like their natal chart), so I checked mine out awhile ago and it’s almost exactly the same as my natal chart (with a difference of only a couple of degrees here and there), which I interpreted as = that my chart as it is is what I need to deal with.

          I think we grow into our charts in many ways, and I have to say that as I get older I’m more comfortable with the challenges within my chart and within life. The more we experience, the more times we go around in our patterns, the more we learn and eventually things sink in and we find our footing.

          I do agree that the 1st/7th axis requires negotiation, and balance – the ideal is to assert the self without taking away from the self of others, saying yes to your me without necessarily having to say no to the me of others, basically live and let live, try to get along as best as any human can considering how complex humans are and how complicated it is being human.

          Everyone has a story, learning to hear those stories in the actions and words of others can illuminate why things play out the way they do πŸ™‚


    • Wow loved ur korero ( talk ). I’m a massage therapist Chiron in Taurus 7th house opp ♇ on the 12th. No luck in relationships but help heal others. U can look at my chart if u like its a polarity chart too. Pretty fuked up chart to be honest but hey what ya gona do but live it out.


      • Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚

        Sometimes ‘fucked up’ charts are the best charts to have (and Chiron opp Pluto seems to bring it on as a challenge – transform this mess into something worthwhile) even though they don’t feel that way because they make you dig deep and find your self within rather than just coasting on the surface.


  39. Thank you for writing such a viscerally honest & beautiful post. Your insight is your great gift.


  40. Thank you for sharing. It was like reading my thoughts through someone else and helped me become aware of what i need to do to change. My chiron is in my 7th also and i was unsure what it meant until you helped solve that! Thanks again.


    • Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚

      Chiron in the 7th is an intriguing placement to work with. The most important thing I’ve learned from it is that understanding others helps me to understand myself, and understanding myself helps me to understand others – there’s a figure of 8 flow to its energy.

      Best wishes on your journey!


  41. Thank you for sharing your wisdom on your personal journey. Our wounds are very similar from what I read. I have a few questions as well as some wisdom of my own to share. You speak of a therapy you have mastered however I couldn’t grasp what exactly this therapy is, how you mastered it nor how you teach others your process.

    β€œ…by rearing up and challenging others in an attempt to break free from the feeling of self being crushed by the needs of the other, they are also the key to solving the problem.” (In what way do you challenge others to recognize their own wounds? Perhaps sharing your experience and wisdom instead of challenging would be helpful as to challenge someone might bring hostility or defensive reactions in response, negating a positive outcome in your desire to be helpful.)

    Once Pluto in Virgo self analyzes and Uranus in Libra clears up the debris of Pluto, and Jupiter expands your awareness, what exactly have you become aware of? How have you changed? How exactly does your self awareness process function as a therapy to heal others? I’m simply curious to understand your process thoroughly as I also have the natal aspects to expose and heal the wounds in others and unfortunately my mind works more efficiently with greater detail. I find Virgo beautiful in self reflection at a spiritual level with the analytical skills of the brain to form a self awareness when not destructively overly analytical or void of the spiritual nature of self analysis.

    β€œI can offer a similar therapy to others due to having done this so often that I’m an expert, however it’s a bit too much, too brutal and radical, I realise that.” (What about your methods are brutal? If you don’t mind me asking. Unfortunately we can only be experts in our own self awareness but our relationships with others serve as mirrors to heal and be healed. Self mastery if one of a kind would leave a lot of self help Guru’s without anyone to help.)

    β€œMy natal Chiron, the wounded healer, is in the 7th house. The house of relationships, partnerships, close contacts, other people. My wound which never heals is other people.” (I must disagree with the common, although misinterpreted meaning of Chiron as β€œThe wound that never heals”. Chiron was an immortal who healed illness with herbs and other medicines. He was wounded with a poisonous arrow which caused him unbearable physical pain. His herbs could not heal the pain from the poisoned arrow and so he sacrificed his immortality for the blessing of death, an end to his pain. Chiron in the natal chart is a psychological wound we are born with. It is a wound that creates a sense of isolation from our spiritual source. This separation from our higher selves and our esoteric knowledge can be healed and is the gateway or bridge between our false personality – the ego of defense against vulnerability and authenticity – and our higher spiritual nature. Chiron is the death of the ego. Healing the Chiron wound is our spiritual journey to reconnecting with our creator. Chiron brings the gift of healing to others through our own healing process between lower and higher awareness and also between the objective and subjective worlds. We fulfill our own personal destiny and become the power to heal the split between our spiritual and instinctual natures in others. The Chiron wound in the 7th house of others serves as a mirror in your experiences with others to discover your own wounds, to heal those wounds and heal others through your experiences with others once healed. Your first house is your false personality house. You ego that views you against the world instead of you in a collective of souls that are also wounded.)

    Here you state β€œTo heal a wound you have to own it, thus owning the power over it, blame gives power to others, and thus leaves your healing in their hands. Yet blame is part of the healing process as well as being an element of the wounding process. If you blame yourself for everything and do not assign any blame to anyone else, you end up victimising yourself, and this leaves you just as powerless as when you assign all of the blame to the other person.” (From my experience in healing wounds, removing blame from the equation altogether leaves no one acting as the victim. It removes the villain factor. Blame takes the lesson you are supposed to learn through the experience of pain, and demolishes the transmutation of pain into love. Blame keeps you trapped in pain. It is my understanding that each of us play dual roles in the School of Earth. That the predator will also be the victim. The wealthy will also know poverty. The beautiful will also live as the beast. The experiences of pain and joy during our incarnations create a whole awareness of the Collective souls on earth with us. Pain is not personal. Pain is universal. People who are existing in pain cause pain to others. People who are healed, heal others. It is not a debilitating process once one becomes aware that they cannot heal others while still viewing pain as something that cannot be healed. The incarnations we experience serve a sole purpose of understanding all perceptions of truth based on our own understanding from experience and the healing of pain in each lifetime from our own personal level of spiritual and personality awareness. To become the purest form of love one must master compassion through self mastery. The way to master compassion is to understand your own pain as an ascension process that directs us toward empathy and unconditional love through the understanding of pain as experienced by the entire collective the higher we ascend.)

    β€œMy healing is their path to healing, but not necessarily my path to healing too, in fact it is often a detour. This becomes a problem for me, because my healing will become something I do to please them rather than to help myself. My role as patient is a disguise for my role as healer.” (I found before my own healing, that my attempts to heal others was an evasion of my own soul work, a barrier keeping me from finally healing my own pain. My truth is my truth which doesn’t make anyone’s truth untrue, just not my truth. Your path to healing might not be yours or theirs.)

    β€œRole reversal is one of the patterns of my life and of this wound, giving to others who in theory should be giving to me, but in practice are taking from me in the guise of giving. If I complain, stand up for myself, point out the facts of the situation, then I am branded as difficult, ungrateful, or too fucked up. No matter what I do or how I handle the scenario I inevitably end up being the baddie so that the other person can play the part of the goodie.” (Here I see you assign victim/predator roles based on your understanding of β€œfacts” and label yourself as a victim. Your truth is your truth, someone else’s truth doesn’t need to be untrue to validate your truth, their truth simply is not your truth and vise versa. You β€œcomplain” that you are giving under false pretenses but are not being recognized as the giver in a situation where you sought to receive but chose instead to give. Why complain instead of communicate to resolve misunderstandings? Are you standing up for yourself by stating boundaries beforehand and asserting yourself when a personal boundary has been crossed? Or are you reacting from a place of ego – acting defensively when you feel vulnerable, offended, not appreciated or personally attacked or insulted by crossing the boundaries of others? The energy we give others is the energy we receive. The altercations you’ve experienced with others are simply reflections of your own energy directed at them. You state that you give to others when it is they who should give to you. Is this not entitlement? And why give at all if not gratefully? Why give at all if you are not abundant in energy to give? Why give if not from love? Giving while wounded creates a larger void within you. It creates within you resentment, hostility, and a feeling of entitlement as though what you give should be returned. Why give expecting a return? You sought to receive but gave from a place of lack instead. Why can you not receive? You deserve love. Why can you not receive love? When you are healed you are whole, you are abundant you are full of self love. Whatever you give takes nothing from you and so you are still abundant and you give joyfully regardless of the response or reaction of whomever you have given to. The gift of giving is enough to remain in abundance. As a giver like you I’ve harbored these same exact feelings and perspectives. I gave and gave and gave as I could not receive love. I did not feel worthy. I am worthy. I know that now, and you are also worthy of receiving love. Until you are healed, give only to yourself. Self serve, self master, self love. Then give. Give, give, give and feel the joy once again from giving with love.)

    Here you repeat the same wounded phrases. β€œMy Chiron is in Pisces and it opposes my natal Pluto in Virgo, Uranus in Libra, and Jupiter in Libra. The wound of me versus others is there in full view, the 7th house of others opposing the 1st house of self. They are both loaded. Chiron is conjunct my North Node. Therefore the wound is doubled, and the need to solve it is a matter of life and death in many ways. At least that’s how Pluto sees it. Every time its energy has to be stifled in the first to please another, it is experienced as a small death of self giving life to the other. Uranus is obsessed with freedom, and feels trapped by any restriction to the self whatsoever. Jupiter encourages Uranus to break free… only do it fairly (Libra influence). (The Chiron wound is not you versus others. The Chiron wound is you believing it is you against others. Pluto represents the ego and your ego [mask hiding wounds from others] tells you it is you against others. To heal this wound you must see you and others as a collective. You are one soul amongst millions of souls. You heal this them versus me victim mentality by understanding that Uranus is obsessed with nothing but the freedom to be vulnerably authentic with Libra expecting the balance and fairness for the collective, the same freedom for everyone to be exactly who they are in truth. The freedom to live without a mask of defense. The vulnerability of life without ego pushing people away. The freedom to be yourself and love yourself as is the right of everyone. Jupiter is expansion. What Jupiter touches magnifies both positively and negatively. If your wounded self believes it is you against the world Jupiter expands that. If your healed self believes you are the world, the entire ocean in a drop, Jupiter expands that. I’m wondering what your Saturn aspects as Saturn will keep you stuck in a me versus everyone victim state if you allow him to control your self awareness.)

    β€œHelping others is the healing within the wound, because in helping others I also help myself. The flip side of that is by hurting others, I hurt myself and make the wound worse.” (I would rephrase this way, β€œThrough healing my wounds I help others heal their wounds. Through continued suffering in my wounds I wound others with my wounded suffering.” Joy is contagious, misery loves company.)

    You stated, β€œThe North Node represents the karmic lesson we have come to learn in this life. It is opposite the South Node which represents the karmic lesson we have already learned and bring with us to teach others. We are very comfortable with the South Node, and extremely uncomfortable with the North Node because it is the unknown that must become known and that is terrifying because we must venture out of our comfort zone into hostile territory. Hostile because all our fears of the unknown are lying in wait for us there.” (I mostly disagree with this statement. The North Node represents the skills required to achieve your life path. Your South Node is simply the skills you mastered previously that you were born with. There is a pretty smooth transition around age 30-35 where you naturally branch away from the South Node toward the North Node. The universe opens those doors with natal transits. Dark Moon Lilith is the Karmic debt we enter into our current incarnation with. Understanding this karmic debt can bring great self awareness and healing of wounds.)

    Our relationships with our mothers are very similar. β€œAs a child my mother switched roles with me, she became the child and I was given the role of parent. She needed, and it was my job to fulfill her needs. She was hungry, I fed her. She cried, I comforted. She bitched, moaned, whinged, complained, and I listened offering solace, advice, and a shoulder to cry on until the tears had worn my skin and bones away. I used to quietly sit there wondering if there would ever be a day when it would be my turn to voice my needs and have them met by another, or if I would always be the urn spilling supply into another’s cup, never having my cup filled. This experience taught me how to seek my own supply from within and not rely on others for my sustenance.” (Again and I only say this to help you on your healing journey, perhaps four years since you’ve written this has found you healed from these mother wounds, but all I hear is victim… victim… entitlement… victim.)

    When my mother wasn’t playing the victim, she slid to the opposite end of the dynamic. She became the highly critical, expert on everything, poking, prodding, pinching, pointing out every flaw while maintaining an elevated position of Virgo perfection. Everything I was, did, said, was wrong. I was the scattered, confused, living in illusion and overly sensitive dreamer who needed to have all the bubbles I blew popped sharply, so that I would be brought into reality and made to see how ugly it was and how awful I was. (My relationship with my mother was much the same, often with me feeling as though my mother hated me. But you stating your mother played the victim is projection. That very statement implies that you felt and still feel like a victim. The pot calling the kettle black. I healed my relationship with my mother very specifically, and from there was able to heal all my fractured relationships and the relationships and wounds of others. I decided if I could get along with my mother I could get along with anyone. At 33 years old I experienced the beginning of an entire year conflict free with my mother to this current date. First I decided I didn’t need my mother to accept me. β€œThe need for acceptance will make you invisible in this world.” – Jim Carrey The need for acceptance leaves the power of who you are in the hands of others and what they expect you to be. I decided by not needing acceptance I would not tolerate expectations by others on who I am or who they believe I should be. My journey in self awareness was about discovering who I am without my ego defending me from the exposure of my Chiron wound. That wound was healed and so was my need for acceptance. Secondly I decided that I understood myself and that I don’t need others to understand me. I accept and understand myself, that is wholeness within – abundance in unconditional self love. This is not to be confused with not caring what people think. A β€œscrew what you think” type attitude that pushes people away. Simply a not needing to be accepted and understood to validate who I know I am, a much more inviting energy. My approach to healing my relationship with my mother, which has worked expertly, is to not need acceptance, to not need to be understood, to communicate with the sole intention of understanding her and practicing patience. Patience as a state of being instead of becoming angry or defensive, simply patient in my desire to understand. Amazingly once I no longer needed acceptance or to be understood I understood my mother. I could see her wounds without judgement with the knowledge that she like everyone is born with a wound that festers into a full fledged ego if not healed. Many times my mother has asked my advice on how to no longer be misunderstood as apparently while I felt unaccepted and misunderstood so did she. I give her the same advice. If you want people to understand you focus on understanding them with no expectations of being understood. If someone says you hurt them, decide that you don’t get to say you didn’t. You don’t get to decide that they are a childish, irrational, crazy, sensitive or critical without exhibiting those same judgemental behaviors. If someone says you hurt them simply focus on understanding their perspective. It’s that simple. I haven’t had any issues with being misunderstood since. The energy we give is the energy we receive. To rephrase as a daily mantra:

    I accept and love myself for who I am. I do not need anyone outside of myself to accept me.

    I understand myself. I do not need anyone outside of myself to validate who I am by understanding me.

    Everyone’s truth is based on their own perception. If someone says I hurt them I do not get to say I didn’t hurt them. I value my relationships and take responsibility for understanding their point of view. I triggered their wound and want to understand their pain to avoid injuring them again. It is my responsibility to heal misunderstandings and harmonize conflicts.

    I seek only to understand by practicing patience instead of reacting to a situation where I do not understand the other person’s point of view.

    I deserve love. I am worthy of love. I am love.

    I hope this helps you.)

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