Last night I had one of those moments when your heart expands and you feel in love with the world and everything and everyone in it. I had a sudden full body realisation of something I know yet don’t always feel.
I saw everything that I have been doing and have done since I first engaged with the world of social media, and everyone I have met and interacted with via this portal, as being a vital and living element in my life. Atoms colliding to bring something, someone to life. It was breathtaking and beautiful. My heart felt as though it would burst like a magnificent firework across the heavens and every spark released would touch the heart of another and grant a fervent wish.
I rushed to my laptop and was going to write a quick post to express how I felt in that moment. Share the feeling. How grateful I was for the warm welcome I have received into the realm of social media. How friendly all the people are, how generous and incredibly kind. How inspired I have been by all those who have shared their stories and lives. How overcome with surprise I have been by the reactions to my own sharing. How deeply touched I have been by the encouragement, support, and love.
Universal love, like rain falling after a dry spell, Sun shining after a storm, a cool breeze on a hot day… you know, natural unconditional love which just flows because that’s what it was meant to do.
I wanted to thank everyone for allowing that love to flow my way so I could be nurtured by it and flourish.
I wanted to describe how what has happened on the internet has deeply affected and changed my life in RL too. How all the meetings have influenced me, and sponsored my growth and evolution, from the briefest hello, a star on a tweet, a like on a post, an @, an RT, a reblog, a comment, a question, a follow, all across the rainbow of interaction to the new and very rewarding friendships which have formed from such things as a brief hello. All coalescing into a global hug from without, squeezing that which I was hiding within out into the open. I feel reborn.
I wanted to open my heart and let the warm glowing buzz of sweet golden nectar inside of it flood through my fingers into my words and out into the internet to reach every person connected to me via cyber strings and infuse them with a boost of pure joy of living…
But then I was overcome with exhaustion, so I went to bed instead, making mental a note to self to share the experience in the morning.
However this morning I woke up feeling as though I had a hangover.
Strong emotions intoxicate me and leave me feeling wasted once their effects subside. A good kind of wasted. All emotions are exhilarating, especially when they are released, unburdening the body of the internal pressure which has built up inside. Afterwards it feels as though I’ve had full body work out, inside and out, and I am an empty vessel waiting to recharge, re-energise, and refill.
So today my heart is still, beating, but quietly. My mind has taken over, even though it is a bit frazzled. When an emotion such as the one which I felt last night overwhelms me, my mind is switched into overdrive, processing millions of pieces of data all at once, it looks like computer code flickering quicker than the eye across a giant interior screen. With sound effects.
I get drunk on thoughts too, especially when they are rapid, packed with information, and triggering connections with thoughts old, new, conscious and subconscious. My synapses all fire at once and the brain eventually has to shut down for a rest too.
One of the thoughts which flashed in my mind is how different the reactions are to the communications I share from my mind versus the ones I share from my heart. It makes sense. When my mind is in charge my energy is cold, complex, and detached. When my heart is in charge my energy is warm, simple, and embracing.
Minds separate, hearts unite.
They are both essential. Every element of our being has a part to play in the whole.
If you’ve ever tried to get rid of a part of yourself because you didn’t like it, you’ve probably noticed that it fights back with a vengeance. It is trying to remind you that you need it. It isn’t the problem, your concept of it is, you’re a drowning victim lashing out at the lifeguard trying to rescue you because you think it’s a shark trying to eat you.
It is wonderful to experience the connections of the heart, to belong, be a member of a tribe, be one with everyone and everything. This is love, happiness, being at peace.
It is also essential to feel separate, alone, independent and individual. Because within each and every one of us lies all of us, every part of our being is a soul within a soul. To be one with others, it is necessary to become one with yourself and being isolated from others allows you the space to do that, to find love, happiness, and peace within, so that it can be found without.
To be one and all.
“…let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” – Kahlil Gibran