Reading Julie Demboski’s latest post – Aquarius Full Moon 22 July 2013: ‘Liminal Genius’ – I was particularly struck by the physical manifestations of the astrological aspects at play at the moment.
She mentioned indigestion as a clue pointing to what in our lives may be indigestible to us. Oh Boy! When Mars entered Cancer… I wrote about that in an earlier post… I was physically sick to my stomach. I haven’t recovered from that. My stomach is now sensitive to everything. It has been for a while, but for a while it got over its sensitivity, and now it is back. I’m hungry but everything I eat makes me feel bloated and gives me indigestion. It does reflect certain things which I find indigestible about RL right now. I’m working on those things. Slowly.
A boast. I’ve had a free ride physically for most of my life by having Venus in my 6th house of health. I have over the years learned that I can get away with things which might knock someone more sensitive out. I can do excess and bounce back or not feel a thing. I haven’t abused this too much, but I have a bit. Mea culpa with a get out of mea culpa free card.
The karmic backlash of boasting. Ever since transiting Neptune entered my 6th house, then squared my natal Neptune, I have had one mysterious ailment after another. Physically knocked over by an invisible feather.
I’ve had strange lumps which no doctor can diagnose. And I hate going to doctors, so for me to seek help from one means something is wrong and I can’t fix it with positive thinking, which mainly entails ignoring the thing until it goes away naturally. Trusting my body to heal itself. And I do trust it to deal with itself.
I’ve had intense fatigue which no pill or supplement or exercise or healthy living practice can overcome. I took up smoking again just to combat this and my revived addiction (Neptune rules addiction) has helped enormously in some ways, and in others… you know the bleak picture of smoking.
I’ve had dizziness which makes me fear going out on my own just in case I faint, and I have fainted a couple of times. Strangers are kind, but one mustn’t abuse or overuse that kindness.
My teeth are a mess and all the dentists I’ve tried are too interested in lecturing me about the latest tooth decayer, acid erosion is the trendy one, as in don’t eat the fruit your doctor tells you to eat because it ruins your teeth, rather than dealing with what is actually wrong with my teeth. Years and years since childhood of grinding and clenching. One dentist told me I brushed my teeth too much, apparently he’d never heard of bruxism. Sigh. I give up!
I’ve had stomach problems. IBS. One of the gifts of IBS is lower back pain which can incapacitate. I’ve balanced my back muscles by strengthening my abdominals… it helps… but IBS finds other ways to make its mark. And once it sets in… peppermint capsules help, but still.
I spent a month in bed due to straining and inflaming my p… can’t remember what it’s called… a leg muscle, no a pinched nerve. I couldn’t move from the pain, and when I tried I fainted from the agony. A chiropractor cracked my bones and told me I was lop-sided. Thanks. It helped, but didn’t.
I put on more weight than I ever have had. I’ve never been skinny, always just whatever suited my body. Slim, sort of. But this was fat which felt heavy. I didn’t mind too much, it filled out my face and ironed out my lines, made me look younger, made my tiny boobs bigger, I actually considered wearing a bra because I needed it, and my curves voluptuous… but I felt heavy. Then I went on the too much stress all at once diet and dropped down to skeleton size. Not healthy. Buy hey, I feel lighter now and I look more like my Sun sign, Capricorn, is supposed to look. Gaunt. The Grim Reaper style. It’s the new black.
I’ve developed allergies to foods I have eaten all my life. Garlic! Maybe I’m a vampire, because garlic makes me sick… I grew up on Italian food! Milk… yes, I’m intolerant of the stuff! Tuna… I loved tuna! Damn! Now only ginger cures my indigestion blues. Amazing thing ginger, but oh ouch yuck when eaten raw, but eaten raw is the quickest way to mending.
One thing I’ve learned about Neptune in the 6th. Your ailments are weird, but your medical health professionals are weirder. The pros I’ve attracted and their cures are worse than my ailments.
I feel… and what I feel is reflected by my physical health. If I am not in tune with my feelings, my body lets me know in no uncertain terms. I get sick.
I hate being this vulnerable, and yet it is kind of nice to be so in tune with a part of myself I took for granted and relied upon. A free ride in the health department was a gift given to me because I was given a very hard ride in other areas.
Want to know what it’s like to make life harder for yourself even though you can see the way to make it easier and yet you watch yourself choose the hard way… repeatedly. Welcome to Pluto conjunct Uranus in the 1st.
I have dyslexia, thanks to natal Neptune in the 3rd. Brain fog central. It has perks, but those perks come from dealing with the non-perks.
Transiting Neptune is sitting on my natal Venus. I’m not sure what it is doing there, not what it says in the interpretations I’ve read of such a transit, or maybe it’s just lost on me because my natal Venus is caught in a T-square and so good stuff always walks hand in hand with bad stuff… on the flip side bad stuff always walk hand in hand with good stuff.
Neptune moves oh so slowly… it’s almost out of my 6th… but not quite.
One joy of Neptune in the 6th… my previous Virgo rising clean freakery has gone out of the dirty window. Dust and dirt… you’re beautiful… and cleaning is what I do when I remember to do it because I want to do it because it feels good and I enjoy it… any other reason is lost in the fog of lazy loveliness.
But I am looking forward to transiting Neptune moving into the 7th, whatever that means. I’ll find out when it happens. That’s how I live. Lazily in the moment. Dealing with things in the now. I’ve tried other ways of living… I always come back to this method.
However one thing this agonising slow motion crawl of Neptune has taught me is to relax into the agony, the slowness…. it’s hard, but there is something very sweet about it. And it has helped me a lot with the issues I mentioned in my post about Uranus transiting my 8th and all the shit which that has unleashed… when all others are losing their heads… I have learned how to keep mine even if mine wants to get lost too.
We’ll see… that’s what I say when I haven’t a clue… but know that at some point the clue will reveal itself and then I can deal with it, slightly inefficiently, in the now.