Soundtrack of my Mind – Italian punk (not punk)
Rettore – Lamette
OH! Remember those alien headbands with the boingy balls!?! So useful! And so fashionable!
I have nothing to say today… SHOCK! Horror! Relief… PHEW! ‘Cause yesterday I said too much, but what I said was like a system flush in Augean stables style!
I’ve just finished doing some stuff which had to be done and now I’m in playful mood mode. I wasn’t sure what mood mode I was in until my mind kicked out this song, dredging it out of the past and playing it in a loop.
It’s a very silly song, quite dark and macabre in some ways. Roughly translated, she’s saying:
Give me a razor blade so I can cut my veins… ploloploploploploploplo… something about moths I think, then… things are promising… something about a kidney transplant… speaking to herself… sin… candor and fury… more vein cutting… blah blah blah… I mean… ploloploploploploploplo
I don’t feel like slitting my veins or anyone else’s with a razor blade… Ouch!… but you know those days when you feel fed up and yet quite happy about it, that’s why my mind remembers this song and pressed play on it. Sometimes giving up is not giving up, giving in is not giving in, it’s more… letting go of control because you realise that you have very little control over a situation and trying to pretend you have control, trying to exact some control… well, it’s knackering and not working. Sometimes the only way to have control is to admit to yourself that you don’t have control… and just go with it.
I used to be a bit of a control freak… now I’m changing into a losing my control freak. Not in a screaming tantrum way, just in a… WTF is so great about self control anyway way. Sometimes self control is needed, but not as much as we sometimes think it is. Thing about self control is it snowballs and you end up controlling everything about yourself and create a prison for yourself which eventually squeezes the fun out of life. Letting go and releasing myself from my own steel bars is what now is all about. I predict lots of cringe moments, followed by realising that cringing is not an exercise worth doing. Star jumps! Star jumps while wearing a headband with boingy alien balls!
Have a lovely Monday!