Soundtrack of my Mind: Listening to my Astrology Chart

So this morning I had a rude awakening and I felt all….

Men at Work – Who Can It Be Now

I have a Virgo Moon, with Virgo rising, so privacy, having my own haven to retreat to and keeping to myself is very important to my sanity, especially as my Virgo Moon squares my Neptune in Scorpio, and opposes my Venus in Pisces.

That Venus in Pisces of mine causes so many problems with my relationships. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the expectations which I perceive others as having of me… whether they really have those expectations of not, it is hard to tell at times because of the influence of Neptune. What is fantasy, what is reality, and what is all that stuff in between the two?

As you can glean, everything is a bit topsy turvy in my chart. My Virgo is in the house of Pisces and my Pisces is in the house of Virgo… and those opposites play out everywhere else. Mayhem and confusion ensues.

I sometimes say that confusion is my home. Having Neptune in the 3rd house of the mind and communication… everything goes a bit surreal, blurry and soft around the edges. I can see things which are not there and completely miss the things which are. Sometimes the things which are not there… are there but being hidden behind the things which are there but are not real.

I hope that makes sense… is something I say often when I speak, when I try to explain… anything really.

How I hate having to explain, yet I also love to do so as long as it is because I want to and not because someone is demanding it. Especially as I tend to attract people who project all sorts of bits and pieces of themselves onto me then they ask me to explain myself to them but what they really want is for me to explain them to themselves… as they are not seeing me but their own reflection. Still with me?

I am very much in Neptune mode right now as transiting Neptune is making sweet love to my natal Venus, opposing my Moon… but it has thankfully stopped squaring my natal Neptune… but it is opposing the transiting Sun and Mercury, who are with my Moon, whispering in its ear… not sure what they are saying as transiting Mars just moved into Leo and is doing quite a bit of boisterous shouting. Definitely kicked me in the ass earlier today. How rude!

I sometimes forget about myself… as a sort of dreamy getaway from it all. Then I remember… and August has been about remembering myself and gathering my scattered parts together, keeping some, choosing to discard others.

I was thinking about how calm August has been… mostly, and how things are starting to pick up pace again. A couple of sudden other rude awakenings of a predictable sort happened today, heralding in the next phase of this year.

And that’s when this song came to mind…

The Big Lebowski – Gutterballs Scene | Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In) sung by Kenny Rogers

I love this song. It is very me… especially when in Neptune mode.

And I love The Big Lebowski… when I first saw it, I immediately pointed at The Dude and said to my partner – That’s you! And I now call him Dude all the time, he likes it… I hope. I adore The Dude! And in this video… well, I see myself a bit like Maude Lebowski.

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9 thoughts on “Soundtrack of my Mind: Listening to my Astrology Chart

  1. Wow our charts have even more in common. I too have a 12th house Moon (in Leo) opposing a 6th house Venus (in Aquarius) both squared by a 3rd house Neptune in Scorpio. And I skimmed one of your posts on narcissistic people where you mention somewhere that your mother is a Leo- I almost fell out of my chair! My mother is a Leo too…a stellium in Leo.

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    1. You have the same T-square that I do! WOW! We do have similar charts, this is fascinating! Does it affect your relationships as much as it does mine, I wonder.

      In typical me style, I’m also wondering how the differences in our charts affect the expression of the similarities, because the differences make the energy flow differently, but since it is similar energy… I’m very intrigued, and always looking for new ways to express this energy.

      Don’t get me started on my Leo mother… The Moon in the 12th often shows that there may be difficulty in the relationship with the mother, as it is the house of hidden enemies… that is very true for me, what about you?

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      1. Does that t square affect my relationships? Oh my goodness yes! It feels like I’ve been driven my whole life by it though most astrologers do not seem to pay much attention to it maybe because it is across the cadent houses. I’m wondering about the differences you mention too. Though from what I’ve read of your writings so far, it seems to be very little. I will be writing on how I’m experiencing them so we’ll be able to compare and contrast. And like you said look for new ways to express the energy…ways that are not destructive to our health.

        Moon in the 12th.Yep, very true for me as well and the very reason why I need to understand this t-square better.

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        1. The post I wrote today, about Hungry Ghosts, that reflects the T-square for me, even though I didn’t apply my natal chart astrology to the post. I could rewrite it using my astro. It seeps into everything because of the heavy Neptune influence.

          I am very intrigued and looking forward to exploring your take on your astrology. Hope that doesn’t freak you out (it won’t because of your Pluto/Uranus in the 1st and Scorpio in the 3rd). I think you may have some answers for my questions, and insights which I lack.

          BTW, have you ever been to The Oxford Astrologer’s blog? Or her FB? She has similar astro in her natal chart – Pluto/Uranus conjunct in 1st – Leo rising, but many similarities. I think her Mercury is in Pisces. She has a lot in Pisces. She taught me how to see my astro in my day to day expressions of self. Very insightful. She does readings. I haven’t done one with her.

          I gave up asking astrologers to read my chart once I realised they would never cover what I wanted them to cover because only I know what I want to know about my chart and myself (Pluto/Uranus in the 1st being very independently stubborn and right about it πŸ˜‰

          Also… much of what astrologers see is based on what interests them, and their personal research. Also… their chart makes a difference to how they read your chart.

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          1. Freak me out?!! Oh heck no!! Actually I was wondering if you were thinking that-seeing as our charts have all these similarities and me pointing them out. I debated whether to comment about them. Speaking of which, I saw that t-square all in that post. πŸ˜‰

            Yes, I’m subscribed to The Oxford Astrologer. I really like her writing. And I appreciate knowing that I’m not the only one who feels compelled to dive deep into their chart on their own.

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            1. That makes me smile πŸ™‚ I do a lot of that debating about whether to say something or not, usually because I can’t tell whether what I want to say is above or below the line of freaking people out.

              I got very excited when you started to tell me about the similarities in our charts, and each time we have a similarity, my levels of excitement rise and I worry about whether I should let on about it or not. But with you I am fairly certain that what I know overwhelms others won’t overwhelm you πŸ˜‰

              I am also fairly certain that I overwhelmed The Oxford Astrologer, I used to chat with her on FB. One of the reasons I don’t have an FB anymore was because I used it my way and I think it was a bit too much me for others. I’m a bit of a wrecking ball in my relationships. I try to contain it, but then kapow! it escapes πŸ˜€

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    1. It’s not really about bowling, although my favourite scenes from it take place in the bowling alley. It’s a bit of a journey through philosophical views… in a very quirky Coen brothers way.

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