Soundtrack of my Mind: Listening to my Astrology Chart

So this morning I had a rude awakening and I felt all….

Men at Work – Who Can It Be Now

I have a Virgo Moon, with Virgo rising, so privacy, having my own haven to retreat to and keeping to myself is very important to my sanity, especially as my Virgo Moon squares my Neptune in Scorpio, and opposes my Venus in Pisces.

That Venus in Pisces of mine causes so many problems with my relationships. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the expectations which I perceive others as having of me… whether they really have those expectations of not, it is hard to tell at times because of the influence of Neptune. What is fantasy, what is reality, and what is all that stuff in between the two?

As you can glean, everything is a bit topsy turvy in my chart. My Virgo is in the house of Pisces and my Pisces is in the house of Virgo… and those opposites play out everywhere else. Mayhem and confusion ensues.

I sometimes say that confusion is my home. Having Neptune in the 3rd house of the mind and communication… everything goes a bit surreal, blurry and soft around the edges. I can see things which are not there and completely miss the things which are. Sometimes the things which are not there… are there but being hidden behind the things which are there but are not real.

I hope that makes sense… is something I say often when I speak, when I try to explain… anything really.

How I hate having to explain, yet I also love to do so as long as it is because I want to and not because someone is demanding it. Especially as I tend to attract people who project all sorts of bits and pieces of themselves onto me then they ask me to explain myself to them but what they really want is for me to explain them to themselves… as they are not seeing me but their own reflection. Still with me?

I am very much in Neptune mode right now as transiting Neptune is making sweet love to my natal Venus, opposing my Moon… but it has thankfully stopped squaring my natal Neptune… but it is opposing the transiting Sun and Mercury, who are with my Moon, whispering in its ear… not sure what they are saying as transiting Mars just moved into Leo and is doing quite a bit of boisterous shouting. Definitely kicked me in the ass earlier today. How rude!

I sometimes forget about myself… as a sort of dreamy getaway from it all. Then I remember… and August has been about remembering myself and gathering my scattered parts together, keeping some, choosing to discard others.

I was thinking about how calm August has been… mostly, and how things are starting to pick up pace again. A couple of sudden other rude awakenings of a predictable sort happened today, heralding in the next phase of this year.

And that’s when this song came to mind…

The Big Lebowski – Gutterballs Scene | Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In) sung by Kenny Rogers

I love this song. It is very me… especially when in Neptune mode.

And I love The Big Lebowski… when I first saw it, I immediately pointed at The Dude and said to my partner – That’s you! And I now call him Dude all the time, he likes it… I hope. I adore The Dude! And in this video… well, I see myself a bit like Maude Lebowski.