Pretty Fly For A Shy Guy

“He waits; that’s what he does…

And I tell you what: tick followed tock followed tick followed tock followed tick…

Here’s to waiting.”

So, I just finished posting a piece I wrote prompted by a Daily Post writing prompt, then I went onto my reader and read a post which prompted this post. Writing prompts are everywhere!

I was going to comment on that post, but then I figured I had too much to say for a comment and decided to make a post of it. Simples *meerkat squeak – you have to watch TV adverts in the UK to know what that’s about.

Smallprint: references to things which are not globally popular can limit your blog’s popularity and other rules of blogging which I completely ignore.

WTF was this post about? Oh yes…

The post which I read and which inspired this post is – 8 tips to rid yourself of shyness – and it is excellent, with some good advice…

No, there isn’t a But, however there is a However…

However… the title annoyed me, which is why I read the post. I’m ornery. To be more precise, it was the word ‘rid’ which annoyed me, the rest of the title was okay. And the post itself, again, was excellent, well written, well thought out, sensitive, intelligent, and had good advice.

I have been shy… probably since before I was born. If I could talk to my in the womb self she would probably say that she did not want to be born. Mind you, the womb was a hostile environment for her, for many reasons, especially if you believe that babies can hear and sense what’s happening with their carrier (mother) and in the world outside. I quite like that idea, makes a lot of sense.

My formative years encouraged my shyness. I grew up around people who criticised everything I did. I was too fat for a baby, so I was put on a restrictive diet. I had pink hair, so it was cut very short for a very long time. I was an inconvenience, cried and did other annoying baby thing, so I was handed out to various strangers to care for me. I was too stupid, too ugly, too childish, too stubborn, too… well, you catch my drift.

Growing up knowing that you are under intense and highly critical scrutiny, being judged for just being, kind of lends itself to being overly self conscious and therefore very shy.

I hated being shy, and yes, I wanted to get rid of it. I wanted to get rid of myself and everything which was a part of me.

Then… it dawned on me that my shyness actually had some powers which I was overlooking because I was so focused on hating it. So, I decided to get to know my shyness, the fabric of it, what created it and what it created.

That is very important. Shyness is not generic. Something many people think in error. Each shy person has a different kind of shyness, created by a different set of parameters, because each person is different.

Get to know your shyness. Find out exactly how it works. What triggers it. What formed it. How it moves, breathes and lives within you. And what purpose it serves for you, in your life.

Then, and only then, once you know it well, can you find a way to work with it.

And that is very important too. Learning to work with your shyness, not get rid of it like an enemy, but be its ally.

Because… and this is very important too… shyness is not a bad thing. It can be experienced as a bad thing, others judge it as a bad thing, and so do you because you care what others think, but it is made up of good and bad things.

Shyness, once you learn to interact with it, can reveal hidden talents and abilities which lie within you.

Shy people are very keen observers. Being a keen observer is a great power. You can see things which those who are not shy miss. You can get to know others, what makes them tick, much more swiftly than non-shy people can, and you can, should you choose to do so, use this power for manipulation.

Yes, shyness can be used by the shy person for good or evil. In fact I think shy people are predisposed to be great villains, because they sit back quietly and watch all those non-shy people doing things in a hurry, making rash choices, acting without thinking, speaking ten to the dozen without being aware of how much of themselves they give away… we wait, and we watch, and only when we have all the information we need, do we act.

Don’t underestimate the strong, silent, shy type. Check your historical figures, quite a few of the most powerful, and often nefarious ones, were shy. And succeeded because of their shyness.

I am far less shy than I used to be, simply because I finally realised that those others whom I thought knew so much about me… didn’t know anything about me. What they told me about myself was all done for the purpose of making them feel good about themselves.

My self consciousness slowly lessened as I learned that most people do not think about me, or others, at all, they are wrapped up in thoughts of themselves, and those thoughts about themselves take up all of their attention and influence most of their actions and words.

If you’re shy. Stop hating on your shyness, get to know it, and let it reveal to you the power which it bestows.

And one other thing, those people who are not shy who keep telling shy people to not be shy… that’s because shy people scare the crap out of them, and that’s why they want us to get rid of our shyness, not because they want to help us, but they want to help themselves feel less… quietly observed.


“He waits; that’s what he does…

And I tell you what: tick followed tock followed tick followed tock followed tick…

Here’s to waiting.”



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