Sometimes… I just want to give up, but I don’t… Why?

I’ve been avoiding blogging about my intensely personal issues…

I know I do blog about things which may seem intensely personal… but to my layered self, what I have shared recently is not as personal as it may seem.

Today I was copied in on some emails between my lawyer…

One of two dealing with my father’s inheritance which so far consists of mess, and the only money exchanging hands is my hard-earned savings being spent on my father’s lifelong mess-making…

I can’t watch any films now which involve someone inheriting something and easy peasy money in the bank and champagne being drunk at newly found wealth… reality has ruined that plot for me!

…and my father’s companion, who in theory has documents which are needed to resolve issues pertaining to the inheritance. Which she claims she wants to give to me, but each time I ask for them, she finds reasons why she can’t give them to me or my lawyers… and on it goes… the merry-go-round of hell created by other people who are clinging to straws that are on fire, but they don’t notice how charred their fingers are because all they can see is the fantasy they are believing is real.

I just… want to give up!

I warned my lawyers about my family and its extended members… but I know they didn’t believe me. They probably thought I was crazy. I’m used to that. Never in my life has anyone ever believed me about my family… and those associated with it. Even with proof… proof means nothing if those who see it refuse to see it.

Even my partner only now… well, the penny dropped. And he’s met my parents, and my father’s companion!

I get it… I know why it is hard to believe. That is how they perpetrated all the things which they perpetrated. Their victims… would never be believed. But they, on the other hand, have always known how to appear plausible.

I just… want to give up!

But I never do… I keep persevering, hoping one day that my side will be acknowledged as the truth… and their side will be seen for what it is… creators of storms in a teacup, teacups which are a part of a nightmare ride in an evil version of Disney World.


Another voice… lost in an ocean of voices.

I just… want to give up… but I never do… Why?