I Lose Myself For Others…

I know I said I was taking a break… I am… But… this prompt is my life story.

I lose myself for others. It’s not a selfless act…

I just know that others are so wrapped up in their lives, their version of reality, their thoughts, their feelings, their problems, with themselves, with others, oh those pesky others who are to blame for everything, that they can’t see further than that… some do… not many. Not for long…

Think I’m being harsh? Life is harsh… and being human is difficult.

I learned to see the lives of others… and understood why they could not see my life.

I know your pain, your troubles, your desires… I could use it to manipulate you to fulfill my desires, to ease my pain… but I don’t, because I know what it feels like to be a pawn in someone else’s game.

You want your existence confirmed, affirmed, acknowledged… you want to believe that your life matters… it does, but maybe not in the way you idealise…

I am a shadow, an echo… of you… of others… that is my gift… a curse disguised as a blessing.

I wander among you, and observe you, know your stories… feel them perhaps more than you do… because you’re busy trying to not feel… not care so much… I get it, do you?

I’m a little match girl… I can see what you don’t… from the outside looking in… imagining… how beautiful you are, how blessed, how talented, how… everything you will rarely see or appreciate, because you want something which isn’t yours, to be who you are not, and instead of seeing how what is yours is what others are wanting because it isn’t theirs, that who you are is who others want to be because they are not you… you whine, and moan, and feel sorry for yourself… and that is alright too… you’re human…

I can put myself in your place, walk a day in your shoes… and I lose myself in all that you are and all that you have… and know that you will never do that for me, with me… you see me, but only as a supporting cast member in your story… good or bad… you are the star, the lead… you shine… but you don’t see the universe revolving around you as I do… I know… you’re human and… you don’t want to be just another human, living another human life, in this very human world of ours…

You are a magical mystical being… there… feel better? Now that you have these new powers… what are you going to do with them? Good… bad… nothing… complain that these powers are not the ones you wished for… return them to sender and get a refund or replacement…

What a wonderful life you have… I know you don’t agree… someone else has the life you want… while someone else wants the life you have… such is life.

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