The Hero and the Damsel in Distress – North Node in Aries conjunct Chiron in Pisces

I’ve been contemplating some of the reoccurring themes and patterns in my life especially where relationships are concerned. My relationships with others rather than the one which I have with myself, although the two tend to work together.

This year has brought most of my issues in relationships into sharp focus and has allowed me to view them from a personally involved and detached perspective at the same time.

I was exploring my Chiron as a part of exploring my wounds, and how they play out again and again in my life and relationships as themes and patterns.

My natal Chiron is in the 7th house of partnerships. Relating to others is a wound that keeps on giving, both pain and healing.

I had glossed over for a long time the fact that my natal Chiron is conjunct my North Node. My Chiron is in Pisces, my North Node is in Aries. This conjunction makes the Chiron wound more complex, and it makes the challenges of the North Node more challenging.

More annoying still is the fact that my chart is a play of opposites, the signs are in their opposing houses. Pisces, whose natural home is the 12th is in the 6th and 7th houses, while Virgo whose home is the 6th is in the 12th and 1st. Aries who is at home in the 1st, is in the 7th and 8th, making Libra whose natural home is the 7th, located in the 1st and 2nd. And so on.

I have planets in all of those signs. It’s chaos.

So, the North Node in Aries is in the house of partnerships, while my South Node in Libra is in the 1st house of self. The North Node in Aries is challenging me to be myself, to be selfish, yet the South Node in the 1st says I’m too comfortable being myself, but in Libra it says I’m too accommodating of others, too prone to being co-dependent. Yet Chiron in Pisces in the 7th says that I should be selfless in relationships. Is my chart deliberately fucking with me!?!

I’m very confused. My relationship buzz phrase isn’t – It’s Complicated – it’s – It’s Confused.

In theory, how this conjunction of Chiron in Pisces and North Node in Aries in the 7th house should ideally play out, is that by being myself, authentically and without restraint, I encourage others to do the same, to be themselves no holds barred, this heals me and heals them. Sounds great!

In practice how this plays out creates a giant mess, thus confusion ensues due to chaos.

The 7th house also shows the sort of people whom you predominantly attract in relationships. With Pisces and Aries there, I attract free spirits, who are hyper sensitive, easily hurt, playing the role of damsel in distress whether male or female, and yet they are also very headstrong and aggressive with their sensitive soulfulness. They want to be heroes, yet their heroic quests usually create distress for them and others and me. They also often cast me in the role of hero, whether I want to be or not, then they turn me into a dragon from which they need saving, then it switches again. Confusion central!

Most of the switching of my role happens without my participation. I can do absolutely nothing and go from hero to villain, to hero to villain, to villager being eaten by dragon, to dragon eating villager. I sometimes think I’m just there for the sake of a body being there. A wall to have a scenario projected onto it.

Very rarely someone casts me in the role of distressed damsel whom they are going to save. This always makes me jump with surprise, then collapse with laughter.

One of the reoccurring themes in my relationships is that these sensitive souls when they first meet me think I’m wonderful… a while later they aggressively tell me how awful I am… then a while later, I am wonderful again. And this just keeps repeating until I can’t take anymore of it and abruptly end the relationship, or convince them to abruptly end it. Whichever gets me out of it with the least amount of drama.

The Ascendant and 1st house show how we interact with the world outside of us. I have Virgo rising, so I am very reserved and cautious when I first meet someone. I have Pluto and Uranus conjunct in the 1st, so I am eccentric and intense. When I say ‘I’m weird’… I really am weird. I don’t find myself weird, but others do. I’ve seen how people react when I don’t tone myself down. Survival 101 for genuine freaks – disguise freakishness behind a mask of more normal than normal. So I tone it down for others by being very Virgo subtle and considerate. I am a nuclear power plant hiding behind the facade of a twee little cottage. The radiation leaks out, but there’s not much I can do about that… add more water usually leads to a flood which washes people away.

My internal conversation around people usually consists of a lot of self censorship due to not wanting to freak people out. Don’t say that! Stop grimacing! I know you think that’s a friendly smile but you just look like a crazed psychopathic clown. And stuff like that.

I’m quite good at pretending, not as good as I think I am, but I don’t have to be, other people are too busy thinking about themselves and what impression they are making upon me to really notice me and who I really am.

The main problem with toning myself down is that people tend to accept that version of me as who they want me to be for them. I like to take my time warming up to people and reveal myself in stages, ease them into knowing me. I like taking my time to get to know them too. What’s the hurry?

Other people tend to see this slow getting to know you and you getting to know me approach as me changing and they don’t accept those changes. They’ve already decided who I am going to be for them and they are going to tell me who they are. Sometimes they behave as though I have betrayed them. Sorry, but we’re all multi-faceted, expecting someone else to be single faceted, yet also expecting them to accept that you are more than just one facet…

I’m going to stop here and continue this later… if you have any of the same issues as I do or the same astrological aspects and placements, please comment… I’m still actively working on this and would appreciate the input and sharing.

To be continued… until I die.

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16 thoughts on “The Hero and the Damsel in Distress – North Node in Aries conjunct Chiron in Pisces

  1. I’d love to talk to you bc I too have Virgo Rising, Pisces Sun in 6th House and Aries North Node in 7th house!! I am definitely struggling with it and wanted to know what you thought of the best way to overcome it. Also how to confront all the opposites in our chart!!

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    1. Thank you 🙂

      When approaching something in real life using your astrology chart you have to take the whole chart into account, each aspect plays a part in the whole, as do the transits of the moment.

      For instance the transiting nodes are in Libra/Aries at the moment, and therefore if you have NN in Aries the transiting NN in Libra is at some point going to oppose your natal NN.

      Here’s a link to an astrologer who writes some wonderfully insightful posts about transits, particularly the transiting nodes – http://rubyslipper.ca/2014/12/outcasts-transiting-venus-aquarius/ – this is one of her latest posts about what is going on at the moment with transits and how it might affect your natal chart.

      Dealing with oppositions requires (at least in my personal experience – which may be very faulty) exploring both polarities and then slowing finding a meeting ground between the two. Confronting them is defensive and aggressive and may cause even more polarisation between extremes. In the Aries/Libra polarity, balancing the scales between self and other is the way to go. In the Virgo/Pisces polarity finding the place where service serves both sides, where the collective and individual are both satisfied is the way to go. It is a struggle, a tug of war (of sorts). The struggle is an exercise which is much needed. Overcoming it is an illusory ideal which leads to frustration, because sometimes we’re not meant to overcome something, we’re supposed to understand it, so the more practical path is understanding. Often understanding through experiencing both sides, then finding the point at which both sides meet.

      In astrology oppositions can be resolved to a degree by looking at other aspects in the chart. Are the oppositions in communication via aspects with other planets and signs. Supportive aspects are of great interest to see the bigger picture. Or checking out the ruling planet of a sign – such as Mars with an opposition which involves Aries. Or Neptune in an opposition involving Pisces. Or Mercury in an opposition involving Virgo. The whole chart must be explored to gain added information, insight and depth. Including houses – what houses are these oppositions in, and what houses interact with those of the opposition.

      Sometimes something which we perceive as a problem isn’t a problem at all (it may even be a solution)… the problem lies in our perception of it – we think and see it as being a problem, and that makes it into a problem. Our approach to the tension in the dynamic is important. If we try to solve something in a way which can’t be solved that way – this leads to endless frustration, which we often take out on ourselves (and others) and it becomes another type of problem… when all it was at first was a challenge to our perception, pushing us to open our view to other angles.

      I have found that writing about my perceived problems can help me to understand things I may have missed. I’ve stopped trying to overcome things, and have started learning to understand them… there’s always more than meets the eye. Virgo rising usually has a very keen analytical eye (as long as it softens the critical part of that)… look to your Mercury to see how that eye sees and analyses.

      Please fell free to share whatever you would like to say here (please be aware that this is a public blog – so don’t share what you want to keep private). 🙂

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      1. Thank you so much for your insight! I have learned a lot about the polarities, whether it was consciously or not. For example, I am only empowered and enegerized from my work when I feel like I’m making a difference and bringing enlightenment to everyone to help a bigger purpose. My Mercury (natal ruler) is in Pisces 6th house too!! So what does this mean exactly?

        I think I am having a harder time with my North Node in Aries though. I also have Mars in Aries but in the 8th house–does that still effect my North Node if it’s in a different house? I am a strong independent person but when I enter relationships I put their needs before my own, I get timid and end up losing my identity. It’s also because of my Piscean nature I am very mutable and can get along with everyone but it’s only been to my detriment when it comes to relationships. Guys who were so infatuated with me in the beginning lose interest really quickly or end up disappointing me, which is hard to continue to endure, but I know it is part of my destiny to be interdependent in a relationship. I wonder how you have learned to strengthen your identity within relationships?

        Thank you so much!!

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        1. You might find this article – http://www.theastrologyplace.uk/2009/09/virgo-pisces-opposition-and-selfless.html – interesting to explore for working with your Virgo/Pisces polarities.

          As to what something like Mercury in Pisces means, astrology can give you a guideline, an interpretation of possible meanings, but really only you can figure out what it means for you. Astrology is just a tool we can use to get to know ourselves better.

          Mars rules Aries, therefore where it is placed adds dimension to your NN in Aries. House placements give a rough idea of where – what area of your life – those energies are most likely to be felt in full force. The 8th house is a progression from the 7th, and both houses have to do with others as opposed to self, where the self has to learn to unite and work with others, therefore you’re most likely to face the Aries side of yourself through your interactions with others. If your Aries side is suppressed, then others will express that dynamic for you, or you’ll project that side of yourself onto them, until you integrate it within yourself.

          Your Pisces side will struggle with your Aries side, the two signs have different styles which don’t always blend well together. Pisces is an old soul whereas Aries is a new soul. Pisces is always aware of others, of the collective consciousness, whereas Aries is focused solely on itself. Pisces moves slowly, this way and that, taking its time to understand, whereas Aries moves quickly, is impatient, wants to do everything now, have it all immediately, and gets bored easily moving on to something else. Finding a unity between these sides of yourself requires giving both signs equal space to be as they are, for you to embrace the different facets of you.

          Infatuation is an Aries type of love. It happens suddenly, burns hot, fast and furious, and burns itself out. Then it’s on to the next infatuation, like an addiction. Disappointment is a Pisces experience, the ideal, the dream, fades and reveals the reality which is never as beautiful as the dream ideal of it, and Pisces ends up longingly mourning the lost dream, or searches for a new dream to replace what has been lost. The two could join forces and create something which satisfies and lasts, but fire and water need to learn to work together without the water dousing the flame or the flame evaporating the water.

          Perhaps placements like the Moon can show you how to integrate those two, as that is the seat of the emotional self, what nourishes us within.

          The article on Virgo/Pisces gives a great piece of advice about “strengthening identity in relationships”, it speaks of learning to know when to help and when to abstain from helping. The idea behind this works in other areas. Drawing a boundary between self and other within an union, learning to respect the space of the other and the other person, which in turn shows respect towards yourself and your own space. If we invade someone else’s space, they eventually pull away from us, just as we pull away from others when they invade our space. Sharing a space together requires some distance, not too much, just enough for two people to have room to breathe.

          “Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
          And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

          Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
          Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
          Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup.
          Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
          Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone.” – Kahlil Gibran

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  2. Were we separated at birth??? Lol! I seem to share some of the same placements with you (Virgo rising, Pluto/Uranus conjunction in the 1st, Libra in the 2nd, south node in Libra in 1st, north node in Aries in 7th). Talk about folks getting ME all wrong! They’re usually quite disappointed when they discover that this “goody two-shoes” has an off switch! And yes, I’ve referred to the Survival 101 for genuine freaks manual since grade school. Thanks for sharing! I feel as though I’ve met a kindred spirit.

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    1. Thank you 😀

      It’s the Virgo rising, it keeps the energy of Pluto/Uranus under wraps. Since most people judge a book by its cover, who we are is decided by how we appear on the surface, and our surface has that Virgo reserved, polite, niceness. We appear normal – usually because that is how we are trying to appear, to blend in and not attract attention. However if something sets off our Pluto/Uranus – and people usually push us until we snap because we seem so calm and I sometimes think they’re trying to find the trigger which upsets our calm because they find our surface calm annoying and maybe creepy – it can be a sudden shock to those who’ve never seen that side of us. Like a volcanic eruption or a cute cat who suddenly turns into a tiger. I have to confess I find those moments very funny and enjoy doing it 😉 My Uranus is conjunct Jupiter and trine my Mercury in Aquarius (which is in the 5th house of creativity), so shocking people is comic relief which is much needed to balance out the seriousness of Pluto retrograde in Virgo.

      You know that quote – Don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calm for acceptance, my kindness for weakness… – that’s describes Virgo rising with Pluto/Uranus in the 1st only it’s missing the bit afterwards which says – …if you do you will regret it, and don’t blame me for your mistake, you’ve been warned. 😉

      Do you have the Pluto eyes?

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      1. That would be a resounding YES! I’ve been told that I have an intense (scary?) gaze. I’ve also been advised by well-meaning friends that I tend to come across as intimidating to those who are meeting me for the first time. More pressure on me to perform I guess.

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        1. Yes! I’ve been told I’m intimidating in a way which lets me know I’m the one who is supposed to change myself. In the past I tried because it bothered me that I ‘scared’ people. After going through my mid-life transits, my attitude has changed for the better for me, not so much for others, for those others who need me to change for them. I figure now – If I scare you and you don’t like me as I am, then don’t put up with me, I’m obviously not good for you and your need to ‘fix’ me is not good for me. I’ve become very bolshie with age. I may not be wiser now I’m older, but I accept myself more, which is something 🙂

          Do you get that – Don’t look at me that way – thing from other people and you wonder wtf they are seeing in your eyes which makes them so paranoid, so you look at them a bit more intensely, whereas before you were just looking because that’s what eyes do?

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          1. That is hilarious!! Apparently our eyes have been serving 2 functions all this time. And really, wtf ARE these “easily frightened” individuals seeing exactly? I suppose this is why I never liked having my picture taken—even as a small child. Go figure! I’m so glad you have the courage to speak your truths and BE YOU in spite of massive social pressure to be (and do) otherwise. Your posts are like a breath of fresh air.

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            1. I always looked angry in my child pics 😉 mostly because I didn’t want the camera shoved in my face and being told to smile. Pluto/Uranus rebel from the get go! So your observation about the picture taking situation… every element of our life story has many levels, discovering ourselves by exploring leads to something very beautiful, we find our personal power.

              And with Pluto/Uranus in the 1st – know your own power, because you have a lot of it whether you want it or not! Sigh! And Yay! Others will feel it even if you don’t and it affects how they relate to you. They are intimidated because they feel it, even when you don’t.

              I have a T-square involving Neptune/Venus/Moon with a Pisces theme which makes me a bit of a mirror for others. I’ve struggled with it, tried different approaches, and eventually learned that people often only see in me what is in them. I pay attention to that. Step back and think about what others say to me, and ask myself – is it really about me or are they talking about themselves? 9 times out of 10 they’re talking about themselves. That 1% who aren’t… usually have Uranus/Pluto in the 1st 😉

              So when I get the whole – why are you looking at me that way – thing, I think – why are my eyes bothering you so much? What do you think they’ve seen which is making you so nervous, which you’re trying to hide and blaming me for seeing it? Never draw the attention of someone with Pluto eyes… once they’ve focused on you, they’ll strip you naked. They don’t mean to, but… x-ray eyes!

              I spent a long time in solitary and very silent confinement. I still got a lot of flack for it. Now I’m older… I’m bolder because why not? Being silent and polite and stuff like that solved absolutely nothing and made things worse. It’s a case of Eff it, I’m doing it! Prodded by the transit of Uranus opp natal Uranus which unleashed me.

              You’ve experienced the Uranus opp Uranus, right, so did it cause self-liberating havoc for you?

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              1. You bet it did! Although at the time I wasn’t aware that I was experiencing the Uranus-midlife-crisis Crisis. I had to battle the forces of family and religious fear mongers when I made the sudden decision to break up with the religion of my upbringing. But I didn’t stop there. I also pulled my then 15 year old daughter out of the church that she’d been attending with her Grand since toddlerhood. I did this without discussing it with anyone–my daughter included. After dealing with months of fallout from family and the churchgoers, things finally stabilized, and all parties have now reached a sort of reluctant acceptance.

                It’s like what you mentioned about spending time in quiet confinement, only to wind up catching hell for it–you were disparaged for “having the nerve” to speak up for yourself, and later for holding your tongue. The old “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” syndrome. But where, or even WHO would you be had you not taken the courageous step of responding to the call of Uranus at midlife…or had blinked or looked away when others tried desperately to unload their stuff on you? Thank goodness you stuck to your guns and kept cleaning that mirror off and shining it right back at ’em!

                You are such a great role model and beacon of light for the rest of us who are just starting to test our mettle in this brave new world of unrealized potential. If only we’ll take the first step and follow your example of stepping back and examining our truths versus the crap that really really REALLY doesn’t belong to us–no matter what that person peering into our eye sockets is insisting!

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                1. Thank you 😀 sounds to me like you’re on a similar path to mine, we tone the muscles of our character every time me stand up for ourselves, sometimes in the day to day small ways and sometimes by making bold statements. Being yourself is personal power at its best and most useful, and as long as we are respectful of others, which can be difficult if they’re being disrespectful to us, then in theory (theory in practice is always harder) it benefits everyone because by being ourselves we are happier and that ripples out of us into our lives and affects others.

                  However there is a puzzle – When you are boldly being yourself it annoys other people, especially those who are not being themselves because they are trying to be good children of society, and it isn’t as rewarding as they think it should be, no satisfying pats on the head for towing the line, just more criticism from the parent to be better, do more, you’re still not good enough. So when they see what looks like someone having fun, being free and unashamed of being themselves, it triggers their own issues and rather than being inspired to do something similar they come at you with an aggressive – Who do you think you are being yourself when I’m not allowed to be myself because I’m following the rules of a politically correct perfectionistic and fake it to belong society. It’s sort of a shame on you thing, but it’s also a test of sorts which Kipling expressed in the poem – If.

                  That mirror I have, it reflects some very good stuff too 😉 It’s all about the person looking in the mirror. If when you look at me you see – a great role model and beacon of light – is that me or is that you seeing yourself in me? You’re seeing that which inspires, and why does it inspire you? Isn’t it because that is your soul showing you who you are through someone else. It’s a safe way of seeing your own beauty when you see it in someone else – safe as in we’re kind of trained to always criticise ourselves, and to consider self-love a sin, even if it’s healthy for us. Staring at your reflection in a mirror and saying – Wow I’m beautiful! – is frowned upon because someone somewhere many generations ago decided it was bad and no one questioned why they thought it was bad, perhaps because they proved their point by finding ‘bad’ examples. The opinion became a fact, a popular fact, because of biased proof to back it up and solidify it.

                  So… what you’re seeing in me… that’s you, aren’t you beautiful! 🙂

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  3. Hi.. This blog sounds very interesting to me.. Actually very Libra in house1 south node..pardon me..just offering an outsider’s perspective. Could I see your chart..only if you are comfortable. I am trying to get better too in reading it 😛

    My boyfriend has chiron in 7th too and I happened to find this blog trying to know more about it.I am guilty of dumping stuff on him too.. But feel I can help him become more conscious of the pattern he attracts to himself.

    My mother was born with Pluto-Uranus conjunction in Virgo opposite Chiron-Mercury in Pisces. My Venus-Mars in virgo gets thrown in there and I do experience her as quite judgemental, critical and chiding of my values..

    🙂

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    1. Thank you 😀

      I posted my natal chart on my blog and the long link is here – https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2013/03/05/ghosts-in-the-brain-ghost-shhh-paranoia-due-to-life-experience/my-astrological-chart/

      Your outsider’s perspective is much appreciated and very welcome. Feel free to share what you think 🙂

      Have you done a Synastry chart between your chart and your mother’s? It might shed some light on the dynamic. Maybe her Pluto/Uranus is on your Mars/Venus which would create a battle of wills, especially with Pluto/Mars conjunct.

      I think it’s great that you’re helping your boyfriend with his Chiron in the 7th. Which sign is his Chiron in? And which house and sign is your Chiron?

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    1. Ha! Yup! Me too, that nice and sweet thing is a Virgo rising thing! They just don’t know about the Pluto/Uranus thing yet… Sometimes I think people try to hypnotise others into being who they need them to be by telling them who they are. You’re nice, they say, so we try to be who they see us as being. Reminds me of a book I read which advised being aware of what you tell others about yourself where ‘I am’ statements are concerned. If someone says – you’re beautiful – just say yes, thank you, don’t argue, contradict them with – I am not as nice as you think I am – or you’ll convince them otherwise. Intriguing idea. A friend once asked me if I thought they had NPD, I didn’t until they asked… then I started to wonder about it. Life and relationships… hmmmm.

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