“You know how, like in cartoons, when the building gets hit by the wrecking ball, right before the building falls down, there’s always like this moment where it’s perfectly still right before it collapses? We’re in that moment. The wrecking ball has already hit all of this, and this is just the moment before it all falls down.” – The Future (2011).
The other morning I gave my partner a rude awakening. I was downstairs dismantling a metal chair very loudly, he was upstairs sleeping late because it was Sunday.
You’re allowed to do that on a Sunday, sleep all day if you want to, any other day and the sleep police judge you harshly for it. Their laws are based on birds catching worms (bet that worm wished it had pressed the snooze button on the alarm repeatedly) and being healthy, wealthy and wise (but too fucking knackered to enjoy any of it).
The sleep police don’t get much say in our household. Society and it’s prejudices based on something or other, vague laws passed down by generations which lived in other times that are not these times, and haven’t really adapted to change yet, don’t get much say in our household either.
We’re both hermit rebels. The computer age allows us to be hermits. We allow ourselves to be rebels. Laid back rebels. We don’t want to change the world, it’s always in flux, we just change how we experience it personally. Because changing the world begins with you, and pretty much ends with you too. The world is fine as it is, as long as it doesn’t tell us we’re not fine as we are.
My partner is a multiple Virgo (with Pluto, Uranus, Mercury and the Sun all tightly conjunct in the sign). He does exactly as he pleases because it pleases him to do so, he is more efficient when he pleases himself first, and by pleasing himself first he feels more generous towards others, and he is very considerate of others, will go out of his way to please, as long as others are considerate in return. Treat his kindness as a weakness and you’ll have to deal with his multiple Scorpio side (Neptune, Mars and Venus conjunct). He will very kindly and charmingly let you know that you’re going nowhere unless it is out the door and away from him. Please leave now, before I sting you. You have been duly warned. His sting doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t hurt in a way which informs you never to mess with him again.
I try not to mess with him. But I am a Monkey. A rather obstinate one, a Capricorn Monkey, who quite enjoys the challenge of pulling the tail of a Snake, his sign in Chinese astrology, and avoiding the bite that doing such things might cause to happen. He tries not to sting or bite me. He’s a very patient Snake. He tends to hiss with humour at me. I love that you’re an impulsive nutcase, it lights up my life with wonderful weirdness, now please stop, control the crazy, I know you can, just for a bit, let it loose later when I’ve caught up on some much needed sleep.
According to Chinese astrology our two signs should not be together and do not get along. The reasons why we should not be together and get along are the reasons why we get along and should be together. We both love the challenge of it, and our differences are also our similarities. Neither of us can control the other. A recipe for the perfect relationship, for us anyway. And by perfect I mean the imperfections make it perfectly imperfectly perfect.
So. What am I on about and what has this got to do with Mars and Pluto?
Mars has been transiting my 1st house. None of the things associated with this transit have occurred. That doesn’t mean the interpretations for this transit are wrong, it just doesn’t apply at this time because the other transits occurring in my chart are negating the effects. Especially Saturn in Scorpio in my 3rd house. I should be super energised, instead I feel like my life force has been drained out of me. I feel ground down, worn away and flattened by heavy water.
This year has been very emotional and serious. With the seriousness making the emotions hard to express. In some ways I am not allowed to feel what I am feeling. So feeling the feeling has to be postponed.
This is not knew to me. My life moves through phases, many of those have been heavy and serious. Suppress what you’re feeling to survive the moment. Suppression can be oppressive. Oppression is crushing. When I reach that point of feeling crushed so flat that there is nothing left to crush, a switch is triggered and a transformation occurs.
I have always seen this as being connected to Uranus and Pluto conjunct in my chart in my 1st house. I tend to give more credit to Pluto than Uranus for the ability to rise like a phoenix from the ashes of my life. This is wrong. Jupiter conjuncts my Uranus, so bounce back is never optional and always a way to freedom. I’m the effing energiser bunny who keeps going even when it doesn’t want to. But my natal Pluto trines my Sun. The Sun represents ego. So Pluto gets dibs on being credited for stuff, especially surviving. Pluto represents primal power. My Sun is also squared by Saturn. My ego gets crushed on a regular basis like clockwork, often by myself. Oh, you think you’re great, time for you to have a rude awakening.
My act of loudly dismantling a chair and rudely awakening my sleeping partner was me expressing transiting Mars conjuncting my natal Pluto.
“With this transit you will be tempted to take over and run whatever is happening around you. This transit is a strong stimulus to any kind of ambition, but the danger is that its energy can be violent and disruptive. It represents a ruthless burst of ego energy that does not take kindly to limitation” – Robert Hand, Planets in Transit.
My only ambition at the moment is to free myself from the limitations imposed on me.
Transiting Saturn has been sitting on my natal Mars in Scorpio for a while. I’ve quite enjoyed it as it has made me unusually patient, able to rein in my impulses, and tolerant of the intolerable tedium of waiting. And this year has been largely about waiting. There are times when I think I’m waiting for Godot and I feel the futility of it and that futility makes me want to act, do something, anything to break free from the trap of waiting. But I can’t because waiting is the thing to do in this situation. If Saturn wasn’t restricting my Mars I’d have burned a bunch of bridges I can’t afford to burn. So I appreciate the extra dose of tolerance and patience. But Saturn is now moving away from my Mars.
And when Mars hit my Pluto I needed an outlet for frustrated energy. That frustrated energy is why I am drained of life force. Why I feel so tired that a hundred years of sleep wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference. So I dismantled a chair loudly, and disrupted the rest of the only person whose rest I can disrupt without suffering the consequences of doing so, because he understands me, and is the only being on earth who accepts me as I am, who taught me how to accept myself as I am which was no easy feat, and who encourages me to be all of myself, no holds barred even if it sometimes affects him in a way I’d rather it didn’t.
Part of the reason he understands is because he is very similar and he gets to do the same with me when he needs to let the inner wild out of its cage.
And from what I’ve told you about his chart, you’ll see that the transits which are affecting me, will also be affecting him. Differences and similarities are often one and the same.
So, what did he do after being rudely awakened by my frustrated energy creating disruptive havoc? He grumbled a bit, then listened a bit to my rant about feeling trapped and wanting to break free but not knowing how to do it, then he watched some football… and the following day he helped me get some of that energy out of its cage and gain some energy released perspective.
Relationships aren’t just about you and another person. More often the relationship you have with another person reflects the relationship you have with yourself, the way different, sometimes opposing, sides of your character interact. You can get to know those facets of yourself using things like astrology. Astrology can’t tell you who you are or what you’re feeling, being or living, but it can open a dialogue within you and help you to explain yourself to yourself and understand yourself better, so that you can understand your relationship to others and your life better.
I still have to wait this year and this situation which is driving me crazy out. The situation reflects the relationship which I had with my parents. The person I was because of and for them. That influenced who I became with myself and how I interacted with others. My partner has helped me to work through that and go beyond it and create a new way of relating with myself and others. Astrology has helped me too. When I go a bit stir crazy, I can look at my chart and breathe a sigh of relief… it’s just transiting Mars activating my natal Pluto and all the things that get triggered by that. Wait it out, and work with it. Try to do it constructively, and sometimes a bit of destruction is constructive. That’s the last time I trip over that effing chair!