Soundtrack of my Mind: Because I share everything with you… nudge nudge wink wink

I thought I would start off the New Year with a clean house. Over Christmas I had a recurrence of a condition from which my body has decided to suffer, which causes my back to hurt like hell and I walk around when I can like a very old witch whose spells all backfire on... Continue Reading →

Let’s do the MetaMorphing Warp again!

  “Awakening is not a thing. It is not a goal, not a concept. It is not something to be attained. It is a metamorphosis. If the caterpillar thinks about the butterfly it is to become, saying ‘And then I shall have wings and antennae,’ there will never be a butterfly. The caterpillar must accept... Continue Reading →

Happy New Year… but when does the New Year actually start for YOU?

New Year 1904/1905 by John T. McCutcheon I was reading a post I wrote for my tumblr this time last year - Happy Merry New Year - because I was feeling lazy and hazy of mind and thought I might skip writing a post today and just post something old, not as something new but... Continue Reading →

Echo’s Room – where I stick Pinterest Pins in Narcissists

  Echo's Room is my Pinterest board where I pin images and quotes which express something to me about my experience of Narcissists. Occasionally I write a small blurb to go with the pin, trying to remind myself of an idea or just to let a bit of steam off. Mostly I don't. I know... Continue Reading →

An Atmosphere of Imaginary Brightness

  “History, like love, is so apt to surround her heroes with an atmosphere of imaginary brightness.” ― James Fenimore Cooper, The Last of the Mohicans That’s a brilliant idea! I gasp and say to myself as flashing lights fill my mind’s eye and blind me to my own folly. I can’t believe I didn’t... Continue Reading →

The Narcissist Slayer Blog Award Nominations

I did thank Kim for this most excellent award nomination, but I haven’t gotten around to passing it on yet… and it may be a while before I do. So I thought I would share her nominations with you as they offer much needed information, and inspiring passion for those dealing with a relationship with a Narcissist and other types of abusers.

You are your own best weapon against those who try to and do harm you, and the more knowledge you gather from others who have similar experiences, the more powerful you are, because their words and wisdom awakens your own inner words and wisdom. Break your silence and break free! Roar from your heart and let that roar echo loudly and proudly out into the world and touch others who also need an infusion of primal courage!

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed


Thanks to my friend, Ursula, I was inspired to create the Narcissist Slayer blog award.

Narcissists need no introduction.  Once they’ve touched your life, you are changed forever.  They literally strip you down to your deepest insecurities and slam-dunk you into misery and self-loathing; while they skip down a yellow brick road into the forest with Bambi.

In Ursula’s words:

“A relationship with a Narcissist always feels like a quest. You’re recruited as a hero to save them from dragons of one sort or another. They have so many dramas and stories of dramas. They are male and female damsels in permanent distress. It feels good at first to be seen as a hero on a quest to save such a damsel, it makes love mythical in proportions, you’re a dragon slayer, but at some point you’re going to become the dragon from whom they need saving. They are always the…

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I Advise You To Be Less Resolute

I have to confess… I rarely if ever do the New Year’s Resolution thing mainly because I know that a resolution is like a challenge to me to do the exact opposite of it or something else, still rebellious, entirely. Who do I think I am telling myself what I should be doing from the safe distance of being in the old year when I haven’t a clue what the New Year is actually going to bring in the way of challenges for which I will need the energy I might waste trying to fulfill a resolution that’s really only my ego being an ego.

I have tried this New Year’s resolution thing as an experiment, and I know have a sculpture – a treadmill because the gym membership expired unused after the first few weeks of a January – in that weird room that isn’t a room known as that space cluttered with stuff between the kitchen and the rest of the house.

Anyway… Just followed this blog because I was searching for Zeus and found him… and it’s full of brilliance, written by someone born on the day of the witch (La Befana), the day before I fell from heaven and landed on earth with a thump and caused several earthquakes and probably some loss of life (soooo sorry about that)… so brilliant of course 😉

Love this post! So I’m stealing it and decorating my blog with it!

Please, if you are making resolutions, give up and use that time to peruse this blog!

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

BlutoDear Modern Philosopher,

Happy Holidays!  I can’t believe another year is almost over.  Where does all the time go?

I’m writing to you today because I’m having trouble coming up with my list of New Year’s resolutions.  I wanted to try something new this year, and by “new” I mean something that I might actually do so I don’t feel like a failure next New Year’s Eve.

I’m always resolving to lose weight, meet someone to share my life with, learn a new language, do some work on the house, and take down the Christmas lights before Valentine’s Day.  I never seem to get around to doing any of those things.

So what do you propose?  What are Modern Philosophers resolving to do in 2014?  Any help you can offer would be much appreciated.

Happy New Year!

Resolved To Change In 2014

resolutionsDear Resolved,

Happy Holidays to you as well. …

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The Places We Live and Who We Are When We Live There

paris paris by surpiko A while ago, which now seems eons ago, I had another blog which is now defunct. It was right, but not quite. I fell into an old trap with it and knew it had to go for me to escape the trap. The trap is one which may be familiar to you.... Continue Reading →

The Funny Brainy Flight of Kristen Schaal

"I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like." - Kristen Schaal   Last night I watched the rerun sans adverts of a very British end of year thingy - The Big Fat Quiz of the Year. The year before I think I zoned out when it was on, but... Continue Reading →

Dancing in the Sunshine

“The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” - Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild   The Daily Post's Weekly Photo Challenge, challenged us to capture joy in one... Continue Reading →

The Year Ahead of Me viewed through my Solar Return chart (which I don’t know how to read)

I use astrology as a getting to know myself better psychological tool. Reading interpretations for signs, aspects, transits and such is a way to open a dialogue with myself and try to find answers to questions which I am asking. When I look at my chart I don’t want it to tell me who I... Continue Reading →

Answering Questions About Narcissists…

These questions are from the search terms used to find my blog - the answers are a mix of serious with humour added. If you want me to clarify and go deeper into an answer to a question, or have another question to add, let me know using the comments: Why are Narcissists attracted to... Continue Reading →

The Multi-faceted Joy of Blogging

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ― Dalai Lama XIV Before I go off on one of my rambles, I would like to welcome into the wonderful world and community of blogging… Deborah Allin and her very first blog - Emerging From The Dark Night. She has only just... Continue Reading →

The Gargoyle of Christmas Present… says Hello Beautiful Souls!

  “To a gargoyle on the ramparts of Notre Dame as Esmeralda rides off with Gringoire Quasimodo says. "Why was I not made of stone like thee?” ― Victor Hugo, The Hunchback of Notre-Dame Pain is one of the greatest motivators in the life of humans, without it... perhaps we would turn to stone. Pain... Continue Reading →

Merry Christmas… Press Pause on Life and Just Be Paloma Faith - Just Be Thank you for being a part of my life's journey, thank you for sharing yourselves with me, thank you for inspiring me, thank you for just being... you're beautiful! Best wishes and blessings to you all, Love, Ursula

And A Very Unusual Christmas To You Too!

The other night as I was drifting off to slumberland, a deer barked, the sound echoing eerily in the still of night. Deer barks are similar to dog barks. At first I thought it was a dog, but the local dogs don’t bark. Not often, not like that. It went on for a while, repetitive... Continue Reading →

A Poem about the Pain of a Narcissistic Relationship by Deborah Allin

Kiss the ghost by Mon-artifice You pull me in I am erased Filled with feelings That have nothing to do with me You use me as a mirror Of yourself You won’t feel so lost But I will be When you leave I will be drained Since you suck All the life out of me... Continue Reading →

Mothra… she’ll rescue us, and return us to our island!

The moth in this photo reminded me of Mothra. All moths remind me of Mothra. I don't recall much about the film, just the giant moth with the little twin ladies who rode on its back. I formed an affectionate bond with it. Why? I’m not really sure… it was a long time ago. One... Continue Reading →

Forgive and Forget and Fuck Yourself Over and Over Again

This is a post inspired by those very negative muses known as Narcissists. I keep referring to the gift in the curse of being in a relationship with a Narcissist. What exactly is the gift in the curse? Simply put - You take something very negative and find the positive in it. Something which will... Continue Reading →

Confessions of a Capricorn

My eyelids are lowered, my eyes watching my hands which are clasped together, the hand of the heart and that of the mind with fingers intertwined as though communing with each other. My chest feels tight, my ribs restraining the pressure in my lungs as I hold my breath uncertain if I still know how... Continue Reading →

Random Acts of Insanity

The concept of Random Acts of Kindness is fun, but completely insane. Wait before you shoot me down, or just go ahead and shoot me down, you decide… and that’s just it. Every moment of our lives we are making minute, often subconscious, decisions about how we treat others and how we treat ourselves. Some... Continue Reading →

A Year Ago Today: Happy End of the World Day!

Remember this time last year? Wasn't the world supposed to end or did I just imagine that? Here's a post I wrote this time last year: Tomorrow is the End of the World apparently. I should mention that I’ve lived through several of these end of the world predictions. I can’t remember why it was... Continue Reading →

Incandescent Eyes

I watched a film last night - Bedevilled (2010) - which was incredibly harrowing to view, especially as a female. One of the main characters, a woman, has suffered so much horrific and constant abuse at the hands of both men and women, family, community and friends, and put up with it since childhood, never... Continue Reading →

A Year Ago Today: A Mind Journey into Self Doubt

Used Material by nailone (Jakub Kujawa) As in the title of the stunning painting by Jakub Kujawa, this post is used material. I wrote this last December for my tumblr. I'm trying to recall what I was feeling then, what inspired these words. A dream apparently. I can just about remember having that one. But...... Continue Reading →

Something Wicked… yet Not so Wicked

Wicked Dames by Vlad Voloshin I absolutely bow down in rapt admiration of Vlad Voloshin's photographic genius! I'm a fan of Film Noir, and his work takes the beauty of it and does something a little bit extra and so deliciously and beautifully wicked with it. Why is this with this post? Why not! The... Continue Reading →

Death by Narcissism

This is a very poignant story. Is it fictional or is it non-fiction hidden within the safety of fiction? The feelings within it are very real. And that which it inspires is very real.

And if you’ve been in a relationship with a Narcissist, then you know all too well how the boundaries between what is real and what is unreal can blur, often making the unreal more real than reality.

Confused ?… confusion is at the core of Narcissistic abuse. They are very confused, but they don’t own their confusion, they pass it on to you and leave you to deal with it.

Once you’ve read this, please take the time to read this too: Leaving Your Narcissist – Which Path Will You Take?

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed


** A fictional piece about the evil of Narcissism

When I first met Alyssa, she was a sweet, vibrant woman who had built up her business as a Life Coach in only eighteen months.  She lived three houses down from me and would often invite me in for coffee after my morning run.  That was, until she met Ethan.

I always felt there was something “off” about Ethan, but Alyssa thought he was a prince.  He moved in with her shortly after they started dating and I began to see her less and less until the only time I would see her was when she left for work.

The last time I saw her, she looked old and broken… an apparition of the woman she’d once been.  She’d stopped me during my jog and gave me a worn leather journal and told me that if anything ever happened to her…

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Fateful Meetings

There is a scene at the start of a quirky Indie film - Interstate 60 - where a man on a bicycle cycles past a parked car just as the driver of the car is getting out. The driver is on his mobile phone and not paying attention to the world around him. The cyclist... Continue Reading →

A Year Ago Today: A Firefly Inspired me

Just go with me, or don't (I'm very keen on freedom of individual choice) on this Year Ago Today series, because I'm experimenting and once I get hold of an idea I'm like a dog with a bone until another bone tempts me to drop the one clenched between my teeth or I get bored... Continue Reading →

How To Piss Off A Narcissist without even Trying

I probably shouldn't post this post. That's why I'm doing it. A short while ago I posted this - A Very Human Enlightenment. By my own standards of post ratings for my own posts, it's okay but just okay. I could have done better, but... shrug. It's Christmas and my brain is on holiday. I'm... Continue Reading →

A Year Ago Today: Inspiring Meetings

Mainbocher Corset, 1939 by Horst P Horst A year ago today I posted this photograph on my tumblr. I used to post on my tumblr everyday in those days, the way I posted was almost feverish in intensity. I was speaking to myself through images and quotes, as well as my own writing. These days... Continue Reading →

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