Dear Person Whose Comments I Won’t Approve…

I suppose some would brand you a troll, a merchant of wind-up, an agent provocateur of the world of social media, and would advise me to ignore you and your comments. However you, just like every other human, has a right to express yourself, and has a right to receive attention for your self expression.

And I have the right to approve your comments and allow them to appear with my posts or not.

I should also point out that I can edit your comments. I could, should I feel the agent provocateur in me rise up and take hold, change your comments entirely and make them say whatever I want them to say.

WordPress has powers of which you may not be aware and it gives a lot of freedom to its bloggers to control the content of their blog.

But I stayed the beast within, it wasn’t that hungry or particularly interested in starting a war of the words.

Your comments were not that bad.

“You have ‘Daddy Issues’ hahahahah!”

Yes, I do. Well done on noticing, but I’m not exactly attempting to hide it. My father died recently, so my ‘Daddy Issues’ are amplified. I have ‘Mommy Issues’ too. You missed that, perhaps your laughter blinded you.

And…

“Is this Feminism in action? Men control women it is part of nature, this is what makes women happy an innate desire to please man!”

Not really sure how any of this relates to the post – Are You A Magnet For Narcissists? Narcissistic Personality Disorder is shared equally between males and females. And the victims of Narcissists are both male and female. But you didn’t read the post, did you. My guess is that someone, a female, whom you know and perhaps care deeply about, shared this post in a way which upset and hurt you. Rather than lash out at her – maybe you did that too, but you probably didn’t because you don’t want to upset her, you still hope she will love you, maybe she does but you can’t feel it – you decided to lash out at me. Makes sense in a mythological way. Love does have a heroic quest feel about it.

I was actually going to approve your comments and answer them on the post, however as much as your comments don’t bother me, they might bother someone else, male or female, who visits the particular post on which you commented. The comment section on this post has become a sacred space of sorts and I want to respect that.

I know you want your comments to bother me. You want me to feel your pain. I do. It’s loud and clear in your words. But lashing out at me only eases the stress for a very short while. Making me feel your pain doesn’t take the pain away from you. That thorn in your paw is still there, Lion.

However I am giving you the attention which you seek, I’m giving you a whole post of attention (a post you probably won’t read), because you deserve it as much as anyone else.

We’re all in this crazy painful world together.

But attention is all I can give you.

I can’t solve the problems which are driving you to make comments like the ones you made. Only you have the power to do that. You know you have that power, you’re just using it up on things like lashing out at strangers like me. Which is only briefly satisfying. In some ways you’re feeding the pain all of your power and it’s making you feel powerless, which is why you’re lashing out at me. You’re not powerless, you just feel that way. Consider changing how you deal with the pain, there are constructive uses of pain which empower rather than destructive uses which only offer momentary power surges that then leave you tired and still frustrated. Try love instead of hate. Hate feels great, but it withers the soul.

I want to thank you for your comments, they are a compliment.

If you’d read the post on which you commented, you’d know that both my parents were Narcissists, if you understood what that means, you’d know that people lashing out at me is normal. That’s why it doesn’t bother me. Sure I feel pain, and can be easily hurt, but pain is normal too and so is being hurt.

I am only truly provoked by genuine expressions of real human to real human. I’ll leave you to figure out what that means. It’s very easy to depersonalise people on the internet. But when you depersonalise others, you do it to yourself too.

I’m not going to say who you are (or who you were for your comments) as I don’t want others to lash out at you in case they may feel the urge to do so. That is not a solution. Not a long term one anyway.

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11 thoughts on “Dear Person Whose Comments I Won’t Approve…

        1. Ha! But an idea is just an idea until someone, a very gifted someone (pointing at you even though it is rude to point), makes it into something more powerful, an active power!

          We’re both good at deflecting, we could do this for eternity, accept your gift, you’ve earned it! 😉

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  1. “….. You have a gift that I wish I had. You have the ability to take a topic, stay on topic, elaborate on the subject and make a concise analysis. Whether people agree with your stance is subjective to their own opinion….”

    I am in agreement with this and I’m sure this somes from that 5th house Capricorn Sun of yours in combination with a 3rd house Mercury in Scorpio. Brilliant response!

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    1. Thank you 😀 And WOW! BRAVO! on your latest post! I was going to comment on your post but you took my breath and words away! What a magnificent spirit you have! And you completely own it! Such power in what you expressed! I’ve been thinking a lot today about what you wrote. There was a wind storm here yesterday and a tidal storm surge which caused a lot of flooding in the country… somehow your post and the weather connected in my mind. You are inspirational!

      I’ve taken a tiny break from astrology watching and observing of myself. However Saturn transiting where it is has had a big influence on me. I used to be more scattered and impulsive and some other things (vague). I have been teaching myself over the years to be more focused, but I was never sure if I was learning what I was trying to teach myself, and it seems to finally be coming together. I never liked my Sun, beginning to really embrace it now! Perhaps transiting Pluto getting ever so closer to it is transforming my ego 😉 One degree more and it’ll be over the cusp! That 5th house Pluto transit… you’re doing it! Let the power within out! You are inspirational!

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      1. Thank you so much! You know you are welcome to comment on that post or any post , anytime. 😉 I really value your perspective. Oh my, I’m sorry to hear about the awful weather. Are things ok at your house?

        lol @ you not liking your Sun! I’m surprised to hear that you have been scattered but then again, I’ve heard we grow into our Sun. By the way, when Pluto made its first trip to your 5th, did Pluto make a conjunction to your Sun? I’ve read that a Pluto contact forces one to express the qualities of the Sun sign especially if one has not in the past. Work that Cap girl and YAY…Pluto’s almost out the house!!

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        1. Thank you 😀

          I know about I can comment… I was made speechless in that instance by your powerful self expression, you’re awesome!

          Yes, Pluto is now in the orb of conjuncting my Sun and will continue to do so for a long while. Yay, I think 😉 We’ll see what happens as it has never happened before, although the two are in a natal trine. I think it’s a trine. That is why I’m not an astrologer, and shows my scattered mind 😉 Details… whatever! Haha! Neptune in the 3rd, square Moon in 12th shows the ability to think in a way which defies the logical mind, it appears scattered because the logical conscious mind and the subconscious mind think differently. My Mars in Scorpio in the 3rd is the tenacious obsessive one which keeps me focused when I can focus, once I’ve got hold of a thought nothing stops me until I get to the bottom of it. But Mars squares my Mercury and having Mercury in Aquarius is similar to ADD. So many things to think about at once, hard to concentrate. And Uranus… trines or something my Mercury (I’d know which one it was if I could be bothered to check for the millionth time) so flashes of crazy insight hit randomnly. It’s a strange family… my natal chart 😉

          I am fascinated to see what Pluto does in your 5th… I feel it is going to be something which will both release and unleash your creative juices in a way which may transform how you see yourself, powerfully and positively, as it will affect the 1st house and Ascendant. Phoenix arise!

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  2. I have to say I really enjoy your writing. You have a gift that I wish I had. You have the ability to take a topic, stay on topic, elaborate on the subject and make a concise analysis. Whether people agree with your stance is subjective to their own opinion.

    As for the person who left the comment telling you you have daddy issues; they sound like they may be a narcissist looking to hurt you. I bet if you dug deep enough into this persons personality you would find a scared person who was hurt and now wants to hurt people. I find the internet a place where true colors shine through. When someone is anonymous they can show who they really are. And there are a lot of trouble makers out there. It seems their entire purpose for existence revolves around creating strife and discord.

    Also “Men control women?” Good luck trying to control anyone. I do believe a man should be the leader of the household. A true leader does not have to control anyone but is a guide, guard and governor to his family. He leads by example, not control.

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    1. Thank you so much 😀

      It has taken me a long time to teach myself to stay focused on a topic, my natural tendency is to wander off on tangents, because something reminds me of something else and off I go. So thank you, because it lets me know that I’m actually learning what I’ve been teaching myself. Blogging has helped a lot, I’m getting better at cutting out the extraneous stuff.

      I also taught myself not to take the things people say to me personally. To pause and review the situation. It’s one of the things which has helped me to heal the mess that relationships with Narcissists has caused. Most people when they communicate with you are seeking something, and I try to understand what that is. The intention behind the words, rather than what the words are saying.

      I have a sneaking suspicion I’ve interacted on Twitter with this person, but I don’t use Twitter as much as I used to, so it would have been a while ago. The internet is indeed a very intriguing place. It allows for many great interactions, you’re a good example of that, I’m very happy I have internet-met you. But as in life, the great interactions are balanced by the less great ones. It’s just life but internet style. And all interactions have a purpose if we can see it.

      I don’t mind if people don’t agree with me, in fact I like arguing, as in debating ideas and opinions. I don’t need to be right, I’m often wrong. I do prefer that when people disagree with me, they do it intelligently and with respect from one human to another. I love to be stimulated mentally, to learn and grow and travel in the mind, get to know the worlds of others.

      To me respect is the finest ingredient in all human interactions and relationships. I don’t tend to think of men and women by their gender, I see them as a unique individual who has a world of experience within them and who has much to offer in the way of sharing their experience. However gender does have an influence to a degree because our bodies and the chemicals within them influence us, and male and female bodies have different chemical structures. I also think that our ancestry plays a part, and nature. We’re like a cauldron with all these ingredients, some are unique to us and others are handed down by others, and by nature itself.

      And it’s very true, no one can control anyone else, unless that control is given willingly, and it can be taken back from the one to whom it has been given.

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