Dear Person Whose Comments I Won’t Approve…

I suppose some would brand you a troll, a merchant of wind-up, an agent provocateur of the world of social media, and would advise me to ignore you and your comments. However you, just like every other human, has a right to express yourself, and has a right to receive attention for your self expression.

And I have the right to approve your comments and allow them to appear with my posts or not.

I should also point out that I can edit your comments. I could, should I feel the agent provocateur in me rise up and take hold, change your comments entirely and make them say whatever I want them to say.

WordPress has powers of which you may not be aware and it gives a lot of freedom to its bloggers to control the content of their blog.

But I stayed the beast within, it wasn’t that hungry or particularly interested in starting a war of the words.

Your comments were not that bad.

“You have ‘Daddy Issues’ hahahahah!”

Yes, I do. Well done on noticing, but I’m not exactly attempting to hide it. My father died recently, so my ‘Daddy Issues’ are amplified. I have ‘Mommy Issues’ too. You missed that, perhaps your laughter blinded you.


“Is this Feminism in action? Men control women it is part of nature, this is what makes women happy an innate desire to please man!”

Not really sure how any of this relates to the post – Are You A Magnet For Narcissists? Narcissistic Personality Disorder is shared equally between males and females. And the victims of Narcissists are both male and female. But you didn’t read the post, did you. My guess is that someone, a female, whom you know and perhaps care deeply about, shared this post in a way which upset and hurt you. Rather than lash out at her – maybe you did that too, but you probably didn’t because you don’t want to upset her, you still hope she will love you, maybe she does but you can’t feel it – you decided to lash out at me. Makes sense in a mythological way. Love does have a heroic quest feel about it.

I was actually going to approve your comments and answer them on the post, however as much as your comments don’t bother me, they might bother someone else, male or female, who visits the particular post on which you commented. The comment section on this post has become a sacred space of sorts and I want to respect that.

I know you want your comments to bother me. You want me to feel your pain. I do. It’s loud and clear in your words. But lashing out at me only eases the stress for a very short while. Making me feel your pain doesn’t take the pain away from you. That thorn in your paw is still there, Lion.

However I am giving you the attention which you seek, I’m giving you a whole post of attention (a post you probably won’t read), because you deserve it as much as anyone else.

We’re all in this crazy painful world together.

But attention is all I can give you.

I can’t solve the problems which are driving you to make comments like the ones you made. Only you have the power to do that. You know you have that power, you’re just using it up on things like lashing out at strangers like me. Which is only briefly satisfying. In some ways you’re feeding the pain all of your power and it’s making you feel powerless, which is why you’re lashing out at me. You’re not powerless, you just feel that way. Consider changing how you deal with the pain, there are constructive uses of pain which empower rather than destructive uses which only offer momentary power surges that then leave you tired and still frustrated. Try love instead of hate. Hate feels great, but it withers the soul.

I want to thank you for your comments, they are a compliment.

If you’d read the post on which you commented, you’d know that both my parents were Narcissists, if you understood what that means, you’d know that people lashing out at me is normal. That’s why it doesn’t bother me. Sure I feel pain, and can be easily hurt, but pain is normal too and so is being hurt.

I am only truly provoked by genuine expressions of real human to real human. I’ll leave you to figure out what that means. It’s very easy to depersonalise people on the internet. But when you depersonalise others, you do it to yourself too.

I’m not going to say who you are (or who you were for your comments) as I don’t want others to lash out at you in case they may feel the urge to do so. That is not a solution. Not a long term one anyway.