I use astrology as a getting to know myself better psychological tool. Reading interpretations for signs, aspects, transits and such is a way to open a dialogue with myself and try to find answers to questions which I am asking. When I look at my chart I don’t want it to tell me who I am, I know who I am from the inside out, what I want from it is to help me get a new perspective on something I know but don’t know it from every angle. My goal is to get a 360 degree view of myself. And it’s very useful for solving issues when I’m stuck, when the puzzle is missing a piece and I think it may be lost or the cat has hidden it somewhere.
So there is a lot I completely ignore about the subject. And I’m fairly sure that if a professional astrologer should stumble across one of my posts on astrology, it would make them wince and maybe rant along the lines of – not another amateurish amateur getting everything wrong and disseminating erroneous information!
I sometimes get things right, but it’s more of a fluke than due to precision and knowledge. I use my intuition and feel my way along the lines. And I learn more from getting things wrong than when I get things right. That’s just me. I like to make things harder for myself because it is more challenging that way and I love a challenge which looks like I can’t meet its demands. I wasn’t always like that… no, I have always been like that I just didn’t like being that way and hated myself for making life harder than it needed to be. I’ve grown into myself over the years.
Disclaimer over, on to the mess at hand.
2013 has been an effing big mountain to climb, and by September I was knackered (I was exhausted much earlier but I think that’s when I actually admitted it to myself), but I soldiered on. Right now things are quiet, I’m chilling out in the eye of the storm and I’m catching up on some much needed rest and recreation. However I know as soon as the holidays are over, part two of the storm is going to hit and it’ll probably be with a wallop. There’s no point hoping it won’t, because it will, so hope is a waste of energy in this scenario and liable to weaken my focus.
So, since my birthday is coming up just after the New Year, I thought I’d try and catch a glimpse of the energy of the year ahead. Not to predict anything, I don’t use astrology that way. I have Virgo rising with a 12th house Virgo moon, and it does exactly what it says it does, I worry a lot and if I think something difficult is lying in wait for me, I’ll start over-preparing myself for the worst case scenario and deplete my energy doing it. I am far better suited to being unprepared for things and dealing with them when they happen because then my mind isn’t cluttered with all the preparations I’ve made based on imagined scenarios which are completely useless for the actual event in the here and now as they were designed for the there and then.
My Mars in Scorpio is always ready for battle and knows how to fight, and it pisses him (yes him) off when anxious Virgo generals confuse matters with strategies they have come up with while sitting in a comfy chair beside a fire sipping tea in some HQ far from the battlefield.
But still… I’m a Capricorn Sun and I like to know the lay of the land ahead so I know what sort of boots to wear. I usually wear boots or go barefoot, flip flops count as being barefoot. I need to know if I’m going to be climbing a mountain, wading through a bog, or doing a lot of swimming.
So, I decided to check out my Solar Return for 2014 – see image with post.
A Solar return chart is basically a natal chart for the year. It shows the energies at work and the dynamic between those energies. It can give you an idea of some of the issues which may be highlighted in your life during the year, how they will affect you and how you’ll react to them, and the approach you may need to use to deal with them. It also gives you a timeline of sorts.
Of course I have no idea how to read it because I haven’t bothered to learn to do that. And probably won’t bother. I read some interpretations and got bored (a hazard of having Mercury in Aquarius – always getting distracted by tangents – square Mars in Scorpio, with Mars being in the 3rd house showing a tendency to be mentally impulsive and impatient). So I decide to just wing it and make up my own interpretations, after all it’s my Solar Return and it’s my life and my year ahead (Pluto and Uranus in the 1st getting rebellious, and since Pluto trines my Sun (ego) and Uranus trines my Mercury… I’m a crazy, stubborn, rebel who enjoys being that way – Jupiter conjuncts my Uranus).
The first thought I had when I looked at my Solar Return is – I wonder if I’ve done this right? – several checks and shrugs later – HAHA! It looks like a Spirograph creation! (remember Spirograph!?!). Then I just went very quiet and stared at it thinking – I’m fucked! Look at all those red lines!!! And is that three Grand Crosses? I can’t tell there are just too many overlapping lines. Suffice to say this coming year is going to be one hell of a challenging battleground and if I survive it I’ll be a very different person at the end of it. Empowered up the wazoo and possibly impossible to live with (which some people already think I am, me for one, and myself and I).
There’s a stellium in Capricorn – Sun, Mercury, Venus and Pluto. Since transiting Pluto is in orb (just) of conjunction with my Sun and has been prompting me to embrace something I have held at arm’s length for many years and have only just begun to accept – being a Capricorn and what that entails not just astrologically, but those traits I have which the sign describes – this year will build upon that foundation. Venus is there to help with teaching me to love the parts of myself I have never liked. Mercury lends intelligence to the process. And since the stellium is across the 3rd and 4th house cusp (IC) this is about roots, and growing strong ones and doing it consciously. I think it may also be saying that home (whatever home is, symbolically and literally) will be a stabilising force in my life this year.
Mars is on… my Asc (haha! always makes me chuckle. I’m very puerile and frankly in this case I think it’ll feel exactly like that)… my Ascendant and the Moon is in Aries. I had the Moon in Aries in my Progressed chart for a while recently and it was bloody marvelous to be so emotionally bold (Moon in Virgo in 12th is an emotional mystery, private and reserved to the point of being institutionalised within the self – a lunatic on the inside but calm on the outside), so I like that it’s where it is even if it’s squaring and opposing stuff. It means I’ll have a bold heart to power me through the challenges to it. My natal Mars aspects my Ascendant so I know how a Mars/Ascendant aspect works. I’ll be pissing off a lot of people and I won’t be subtle about it. However with Mars in Libra, I may express this as being forcefully diplomatic – I know at some point this year I’m going to have to deal with my mother and forceful diplomacy (applying everything I’ve understood so far about dealing with a malignant Narcissist) is going to be the only way to solve this Gordian Knot maker.
Everything seems to be pointing at Jupiter (retrograde) in Cancer conjunct the MC in the 9th house. I think the chart is a funnel shape, not sure, will check later. Which means Jupiter is key is solving the issues brought up by the Grand Crosses. Travel, Foreign lands, and Philosophy are 9th house things. Well, yes. The problem which has dominated 2013 contains foreign matter. It is at a halfway mark at the moment, half-solved, half-unsolved. I may have to travel to that foreign place to tie up loose ends and solve the part which is unsolved. Don’t want to, but what I want to do or not do will depend on what I ultimately need to do to sort everything out. So it will be a case of assessing which wants are of value and which ones are just getting in the way of achieving a conclusion.
Since the North Node is in the 1st house in Scorpio – What I want matters and it will be a challenge worth facing to focus my attention on it, on the deepest point of it, figure out what it is that I really want, not what I think I want, not what my fears think I want, but what I really and truly need and stand my ground to get it.
Neptune and Chiron in the 5th – my creative self expression will continue to provide a source of healing, inspiration and a place to escape and rest and recharge and more.
Uranus in the 6th – The day-to-day is going to be continuously disrupted by sudden changes and surprises and my health may go a bit bonkers (which it already is due to Neptune’s long sojourn there).
And Saturn, my Sun’s ruler… I like that Saturn in Scorpio is in the 2nd house of personal values. Natally I have Jupiter in Libra there, with Uranus conjunct Jupiter and close enough to the cusp of the 1st and 2nd house to influence it. Many astrologers point out that Jupiter in the 2nd is lucky financially. Maybe, but in Libra and conjunct Uranus, that luck is sporadic. Sometimes you’re in the money and other times you’re definitely not. And it doesn’t matter how hard you work or if you do nothing at all. Or at least that is my experience of it. In fact it’s quite a contrary bugger. The times in my life when I’ve worked my butt off to earn money, the money just stays out of my reach, but the times I just lie on the floor blowing bubbles one of those bubbles pops and showers me with an unexpected pot of gold. So Saturn in the 2nd is a welcome relief to yo-yo-ing finances. It means that working my butt off will be rewarding for once. Which suits me better than my natal 2nd house (don’t argue with me universe, I know you think you gave me the best chart for this life, but what you gave me means I argue with your decisions).
Anyway… that’s my cursory glance and it may be entirely wrong. Never mind. I don’t need to know what lies ahead. Whatever happens happens and I will deal with it when it does. I’m a cockroach, just when you think you’ve squashed me… I rise again and again and run around scaring the crap out of you because you hate things that scuttle quickly and trigger your – that’s disgusting – reaction.
Feel free to offer me your interpretations… they’re probably better than mine and I always appreciate stimulating input, I find it inspiring!