Echo’s Room is my Pinterest board where I pin images and quotes which express something to me about my experience of Narcissists. Occasionally I write a small blurb to go with the pin, trying to remind myself of an idea or just to let a bit of steam off. Mostly I don’t. I know why I pinned it.
I am very visual and sometimes an image expresses more to me or for me than words can.
If you’re dealing with the pain and frustration of having been or still being in a relationship with a Narcissist it can be very therapeutic and helpful to create a mood board or scrapbook where you can collect your moments of being aware of something. Reviewing it can give you a picture of the situation. Maybe even clarify some of the confusion from which you may be suffering.
Narcissists are very good at inspiring confusion in others, they do it deliberately and they do it without being aware that they are doing it, either way it’s a swirling mess for you so having a room to retreat to during a storm of dramatic nonsense can be like a port of calm. You can find your bearings and feel some solid ground under you to support you even when you feel alone and adrift.
My most recent pin is:
If you’re a fan of Doctor Who, you’ll recognise that Angel and know why you shouldn’t blink. Narcissists are a bit like that Angel. They can appear so lovely, so in need of your love to save them and redeem their suffering, the females of the Narcissist species in particular do the poor Damsel in Distress routine so poignantly that male and female human hearts break for them. Male Narcissists do it too, but they usually start off by pretending they’re going to save you with their love.
Yet if you blink that beautiful version of them is gone and they become a soul-sucking vicious being out to tear you to pieces, drink your vital juices and kill you really slowly and painfully.
The routine and story and myth the Narcissist is playing out and believes and wants you to believe too is reality depends on the individual Narcissist. But they are all living in a world of pretend and they suck you into to it because they’re lonely and need a playmate. But their idea of a playmate is not much fun for you once they’ve trapped you in their world.
And breaking free may be one of the hardest challenges you face in a relationship and in life. But it is worth it because you will discover how strong and resilient you are. How beautiful and powerful you are. How the word ‘victim’ can be a medal of valour earned by being brave when you hit rock bottom, and learning how to survive and thrive and conquer your fears. You will have discovered your true self, and found the gift in the curse of a relationship with a Narcissist.
And the next time you meet one, one you already know or a new one, and they do their song and dance about whatever nonsense is the drama of the moment and how much they need you to save them… you can say this:
I also sometimes find a song which hits a chord within me…
Paloma Faith – Black and Blue
Nothing annoys me more about Narcissists than their desperate need to be superior to others… their problems are always vitally important and yours are… well they don’t want to know about them because it might for a fraction of a second make them realise they are human, and they can’t deal with that thought. It scares the crap out of them.
So, I use Pinterest for this, but wherever you can create a haven, a record of your story, do it… the results may surprise you.
Images are the language of our subconscious which doesn’t always understand our words but we can understand its images.
This image by a very talented artist…
is how I felt as a child with two Narcissists as parents and nowhere and no one to turn to for help. It is such a beautiful image and my subconscious loves it as much as my conscious does as through it they can communicate with each other and share a moment. A moment which helps to heal the past and transform the present, which will ripple into the future.
Take care of yourselves.