I was reading a post I wrote for my tumblr this time last year – Happy Merry New Year – because I was feeling lazy and hazy of mind and thought I might skip writing a post today and just post something old, not as something new but as a blog-stocking filler.
As I read it my mind chuckled and said – Little did she know what the New Year had in store for her!
2012 for me was about new beginnings. I started many new things and it was frightening, thrilling, exciting and most of the time I felt completely out of my depth but I enjoyed the feeling most of the time.
So naturally I thought 2013 would be able building on the foundations of those new beginnings. It seemed a logical progression. I knew there would be a lot of hard work involved but I was looking forward to it.
2011 had been about coming out of my shell. A shell I had gone into due to illness and many other things which seemed to point at the shell and say – Go inside and don’t come out until the time is ready for such a thing.
So viewing the progression from 2011 to the end of 2012, it made sense to me that 2013 would be a level-up and just more of the same with a learning curve to climb.
2013 had other plans for me.
Looking back at 2013, I can see now that it has been a progression of the previous years, just not in the way I had envisioned that it would be. My life so rarely is, so I should not have been surprised, but I was. I always am really… I think I like being surprised by my life so I adjust myself so that I will be even if I could have predicted it. But I could not have predicted the events of 2013… not even with my imagination which is quite stretchy.
I’m not going to recap 2013. I’ve written about it enough in my posts and I’m a bit bored of hearing myself write about it. That… and 2014 is going to be more of the same. I’m at a halfway point at the moment, standing on a threshold between halves. Kind of like half-time in a football (UK style) match.
I was trying to recall when 2012 actually ended for me and 2013 began, and was perusing my tumblr archive for dates.
My personal grasp of time is… vague. This week the days are all over the place because of the holidays, but days being all over the place is my usual calendar. Some weeks have double days, having two Tuesdays is not unusual, and miss out another day, Wednesdays have a tendency to disappear and be completely lost somewhere. However I can tell the time without looking at a clock for an entire day… only to confirm my inner time matches clock time. It’s not magic, it’s just observation of the natural world, light, temperature and sound.
As I perused and got distracted by this and that, the thought occurred to me that the New Year never actually seems to begin at all on January 1st. Then I thought about the Chinese New Year and wondered if that felt like a more natural time for a year to begin. Then I thought about birthdays, because in theory that is when our personal year begins, and in astrology you can draw up a chart for the year ahead on the day that the Sun returns to the position it was in when you were born – I did mine (clumsily) for the coming year – The Year Ahead of Me viewed through my Solar Return chart. So maybe that is the starting point of your personal New Year.
Since my birthday is in January… well, when I was a child it coincided with going back to school, so I suppose it was when the New Year started, but then again the New Year of school started in Autumn. My birthdays always felt like the end of the world, but that was because the usual family dramas which had been building over the holidays always seemed to climax on that day, or the day before… which in Italy is when the witch of Christmas – La Befana – does the same thing that Santa Claus does. Sort of. The day after my birthday was like a popped balloon which had been filled with noxious gas.
But as an adult, my birthday, like New Year’s Day, just seems like another day. Waiting for the new working year to begin properly, because in the first couple of weeks of January the gears of the ever-grinding mechanism seem a bit rusty and slow to get going.
Then again our calendars used to be different… but that was way before most of us were born. I say most because… you never know. Some of those born then may still be around, we don’t have proof that such people don’t exist just as we don’t have proof that they do. Apparently yoghurt can prolong life… but mostly in Russians – random probably erroneous trivia which my mind seems to hold onto for no apparent reason other than because it’s weird (the trivia and the mind).
So… I don’t have a precise date for when my personal New Year actually begins. It’s fun to celebrate New Year with everyone else, the collective energy is buoyant, full of possibility for a moment, then pop… goes the champagne cork!
Happy New Year!
And life goes on and on until it doesn’t.
I’m not making any resolutions, it’s a waste of effort and time if you’re me. As I said in my tumblr post this time last year – I never make resolutions because, well, I tried it once as an experiment and found that they don’t last for very long, they’re usually rather boring, and they are a waste of time. Also that whole beating myself up over a broken resolution isn’t much fun. Besides I can beat myself up with anything at any time if I really feel so inclined.
If I’m going to give up a so called bad habit then I’m going to do it regardless of what time of year it is, and if I’m not going to give it up, then it won’t happen.
So, whatever happens happens, and what doesn’t happen doesn’t.
So, when does the New Year start for you?