The Zen of Narcissists: Lesson #2 – Make Others Responsible for Solving the Drama of Your Life

Circus/Monkeys - Polish Proverb

As a Narcissist your life is larger than anyone else’s life. That’s a fact. Don’t ever doubt it. You don’t do doubt unless you’re pretending to do it for the benefit of luring someone into your drama – your three (probably more) ring circus. Your monkeys are loose and someone needs to put them back in their cage, and that someone is not you. You don’t do damage control like that. Your version of damage control is to make sure no one believes those who have seen through your masquerade and have decided to tell others that you are not who you say you are no matter how convincing you are when you say what you always say, on repeat play until everyone is too tired to fight the constant hypnotic trance your words are designed to induce in those who hear it.

Your circus and monkeys are everyone else’s responsibility. Remember that when someone confronts you and tries to make you accountable for your shit.

Fb drama - rottenecards

Your drama and dragging people into it and making it their problem is how you get that precious substance known as Narcissistic Supply. The sympathy, empathy, love and admiration (for your courage under such adversity) of others and their willingness to put their own dramas (real ones as opposed to your fake ones) and needs (real needs as opposed to your fake ones) aside for your giant dramas and bottomless pit of need is your food. Without it, you die of starvation. Without their attention, you cease to exist… and your circus goes out of business and what will happen to your monkeys if the circus gets closed down!

The bigger the drama, the harder it is to solve, the more attention you get for it… the more important you are and the more food you get to meet your ravenous appetite.

If a supply source (human) should try to escape your circus before you’re ready to let them leave (once you’ve sucked out all their energy) make sure your monkeys attack it at your signal. They’ll be too confused by the attack (they thought you were friends and that you loved them) to think straight and remember what they realised (that you’re a nutcase and they’d better get away from you) to continue with their futile attempts of getting away from you before you’re ready to discard them.

And if you do discard… keep one string attached in case you need them in an emergency (like when everyone else has abandoned you because you’re horrible). You never know, absence from a Narcissist does make people forget all the shit you did to them (humans are stupid, they do this thing called forgiving and forgetting, which is very useful) and they might give you whatever you didn’t get from them the first time around.

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** No humans were hurt during the making of this series. Not sure if a Narcissist was hurt because they’re always in pain.