On Stabbing Yourself in the Eye with a Pencil
This morning I woke up with a shock.
I had just stabbed myself in the eye with a pencil in an attempt to solve a problem.
The problem was a pain in my left eye.
A sharp feeling of having a shard of glass inside the eyeball.
And the pencil was, to my dreaming mind, the cure, the soothing balm which would by stabbing it in my eye, relieve the pain and thus solve the problem.
The pencil in my eyeball was a figment of my dream. The pain in the eye is a reality. Not one which I am going to solve by stabbing myself with a pencil.
My dreaming mind is not that different from my waking mind when it comes to solving problems, but it has enough of a grasp on logic to not be a complete moron. Although sometimes I wonder…
I wonder what the dream was expressing, other than the obvious – my eye is hurting and I’d like it to stop. I can guess what the physical source of the pain is. I am mentally exhausted which has rippled into my body, and when I am physically knackered it always affects my eyes.
But what else can I read into this dream, which perhaps may throw some insight onto other matters which may or may not be troubling me?
I have no idea what other dreams preceded this one, or what came before this scene in this dream. When you wake up suddenly, the dream world tends to vanish quickly and the waking world comes into focus.
Even though I could only focus on it with one eye. Which is sort of interesting…
Have you ever played that game where you look at something with one eye, while the other is closed, then switch eyes to see if the view your are beholding appears different through each eye separately?
If you have, did you find one eye was more clear in its vision than the other?
Have you ever tried to focus a pair of binoculars and found your eyes don’t agree on what being in focus is? Binoculars always give me a headache which I didn’t have before I used them.
I am fairly certain that there is a theory floating around in the collective consciousness which holds those things known as scientific facts that each eye connects to a hemisphere of the brain… and that the brain only has two hemispheres (as far as we know and since we use our brain to know things… hmmm).
Perhaps the division in my brain is not clear cut. I get confused easily and not just because I have dyslexia, but that does have some bearing, so I am not always certain which side is which until I really think about it, and even then when I decide… I wonder.
I wonder if the captains of the left and right hemispheres of my brain are still trying to decide what bits belong to their side, and maybe they’re fighting, and maybe they have a wonky boundary line… if they have one at all… which keeps being erased and redrawn.
And what happens to the bits of the body which fall in the no man’s land between sides? How do they divvy those bits up?
Whose side are you on mouth? – asks the captain of the left hemisphere team.
I picked the mouth, so it’s on my side! – the captain of the right hemisphere team answers for the mouth.
You can’t have the mouth, speech belongs to my side! – says the left.
Screw reason and logic, the mouth is a vessel for creative expression! – says the right.
I need the mouth to expound my opinion, state facts, I have important shit to say! – left argues rather illogically for the left hemisphere.
Yeah, yeah, whatever… you can have the nose, it sticks out, sometimes obscures vision, and thinks it’s more important than it really is, it looks like it is a bit out of joint, that’s the sort of thing I imagine goes with left hemisphere thinking! – right uses the mouth to smile.
Don’t you use the nose and the imaginary scents it smells to justify your completely ridiculous theories about the meaning of… all that gobbledygook which uses up so much of the oxygen in the brain that it dulls my side and means I have to work using an emergency generator – Left sounds a bit tetchy, maybe it’s tired.
Well, while those two continue their quest to disagree on everything and never the twain shall meet… how can I use this to figure out what stabbing my left eye in a dream meant?
And who was controlling the hand which stabbed the eye with the pencil?
I can’t recall which hand it was… perhaps it was the right side which might explain nothing really, but…
In true human style of creating complete chaos out of the unknown and pretending it is order… the left side of the body is controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain and the right side of the body is controlled by the left hemisphere of the brain.
Of course, how logical!
Well, that’s the way it is and that’s that! We have facts to back this up, facts which our brains have discovered using our brains to study our brains and our brains are very good at that sort of thing.
So my left eye is controlled by the right hemisphere of my brain, therefore stabbing it is probably a crime committed by the left hemisphere of my brain, perhaps to make sure the right brain can’t see what the left brain is up to… or was it a clever ploy by the right brain to frame the left brain and therefore…
Wait a minute… why would it blind itself? That’s illogical… Ah, but logic belongs to the left hemisphere and thus not to the right. The right hemisphere is an artist and artists do things like that!
Perhaps… it is one of those suicides designed to appear like a murder.
“He was dead, all right. He had been shot, poisoned, stabbed, and strangled.
Either somebody had really had it in for him or four people had killed him. Or else it was the cleverest suicide I’d ever heard of.” ― Richard S. Prather
But what advantage would the right brain get from that and what advantage would the left brain get from it? Is there a middle brain they are trying to impress? An overlord of the hemispheres which science hasn’t discovered through brain examination because the overlord of the scientists’ brains makes sure that its presence goes undetected?
Which side of my brain came up with that theory?
Or is it just a left versus right which is getting out of hand (and putting pencils in one or t’other hand to stab eyes), a fight which started long ago and continues because that’s the way it has always been and always will be until both sides stop and question the wisdom of it and maybe work together.
Case closed due to… lack of evidence or too much of it.