Internet Treasures: WheezyWaiter… and a belly full of laughs!

I have a serious week ahead of me, and today in particular is full of foreboding…

So… my preparations have been to find as much laugh-inducing moments as possible. I use humour to deal with everything and I really don’t care how inappropriate it is, as I tend to keep it to myself since it is for my own benefit.

I’ve learned over the years that when faced with something my mind dictates that I should handle by being ultra sombre about it. Research it thoroughly, analyse it relentlessly, cover every base, angle and perspective, until I make myself paralysed by grim reality and riddled with anxious crawling nerves. What I actually need to do is the exact opposite because my mind is… not always helpful, prone to arrogance and getting things horribly wrong due to over-thinking and narrowing itself to a point which isn’t really a point at all but a threshold to some very unfresh hell.

While watching the World Cup last night…

By ‘watching’ I mean occasionally glancing at the TV screen and noticing irrelevant things, such as that certain footballers wear pink and blue shoes and wondering if they’re sold like that (Yes, they are, I looked it up). Or listening to the sounds my partner is making to know what is going on, if his fingers are tapping his laptop keyboard furiously then the ref has made a bad decision or the football commentators have said something annoying, if he’s silent he may be asleep so the game may be a bit dull, if he’s loud then one of the players of the Premier league team which he supports, and who are scattered throughout the World Cup teams, has been brilliant as usual.

…I came across a great Youtube channel which had me chuckling so raucously that my partner paused the football to investigate what was causing such a burst of LMAO.

This was the first video which alerted me to the existence of the funny genius known as WheezyWaiter:



British vs USA – WheezyWaiter featuring Chris Howard from Earth Unplugged



It all started when I was searching for the pronunciation of Brazil’s favourite drink – Cachaca. Then I found that there were loads of videos of British versus American English, many of which are very amusing. And along the way I ended up watching the one above. That made me want to see more of WheezyWaiter.

And that’s when I came across the video below:



I Put on My Girlfriend’s Makeup by WheezyWaiter



All I can say is… that’s exactly how I feel about makeup, except he knows more about it than I do because he did a great job, whereas I would have ended up looking like a clown and after having applied foundation I would have rushed to the sink to scrub it all off… because that’s what wearing foundation does to me, it makes me want to rip my face off, but that’s a bit extreme and the aftermath is not attractive, so I opt for something a little more reasonable.

Hope you enjoyΒ WheezyWaiter as much as I did last night!

And if you’re also facing a seriousness up ahead… best wishes!


  1. I’m dying…super funny! When he was attempting to apply the eyeliner, it reminded me of myself. I always have one eye that I seem to get right with the line nice and straight just right above the upper eye rim. And then I have my other eye that looks like a toddler grabbed a black crayon and decided to make a race car track…ugh. Applying eyeliner requires doing things with one eye open and the other closed. I think I may be partially blind in my left eye, blah. Same goes for apply mascara. I tend to have a blinking reaction to having a small brush filled with black paint so close to my eye. So I blink and the skin just below my eye is marked with a black smudge. I try to conceal it with foundation only to realize that I look like someone took a right hook to my face. Good stuff.

    It’s nice to have humor to mellow out an analytical, thinking mind. It offsets things for me too and “lightens” life up. I laugh at myself all the time and make dumb comments that I only laugh at. It’s fun. Best wishes for a good week. My only advice is to avoid the eyelash curler at all costs. A narc must have invented that:)


    • You have a wonderful sense of humour (that’s a great strength in my view)! I love this -> And then I have my other eye that looks like a toddler grabbed a black crayon and decided to make a race car track – that’s hilarious! πŸ˜€

      If and when I apply makeup to my eyes, I think I get over confident when I do one eye right and that always means the other eye is going to pay for it!

      I had to (yep, forced with one arm twisted behind my back) buy some makeup the other day because I’m going to a party and… you know, dress up and stuff which can be fun… and I stood there thinking – the results might make for some hysterical photos!

      I’ve tried foundation, even the ‘miracle’ ones and it’s just ‘evil’, and it doesn’t work when you’re as freckly as I am (don’t go by my pics of me – photoshop is a naughty thing πŸ˜‰ – one of my all-time fav videos – ). And I never use mascara or I end up looking like a panda only not as cute.

      Speaking of cute pandas, this cracks me up every time I see it –

      I tend to keep it simple and that includes my thinking. When in doubt or when looking at the abyss of over-analysing, go for a humour break. By eyelash curler you mean torture device which removes the eyelid, right? Fairly certain a narc invented the whole concept of makeup and promoted it as almost mandatory. My mother used to call her ritual of putting on makeup in the morning as – putting my face on. Yup… hmmmm. Ha!

      Best wishes to you too for a good week! Even though the news is serious (in a legal way) at my end, I actually feel surprisingly positive. The serious news did away with some ifs and buts which were worrying. There you go! πŸ™‚


  2. I used to get that panda look too, try Maybelliine Waterproof Mascara. It solves that issue.
    These guys have the right idea – get out have fun ,act stupid & say F it to everything serious!!!!!!!
    As a matter of fact – I’ll think I may do just that today.


  3. Your Mom was actually being honest and real for that split second. She was making progress, ha! That photo shop video was awesome! Especially the old granny looking lady that all of a sudden looks like a super model. BTW, you have no wrinkles in your photo from you last post. Flawless skin…I stared in amazement. Was that photo shop too or are you just really a run-way model disguising yourself as an earthy, smart intellectual type πŸ™‚ …ha, and I’m not kidding but yes I really am.

    Narcvic…F’ it all is right! I hope you are doing cartwheels in a park somewhere and eating one of those jumbo size pixie sticks you find at Costco. Have fun whatever you do;)


    • Ha πŸ˜€ I’m choosing this answer -> are you just really a run-way model disguising yourself as an earthy, smart intellectual type. – Thank you for the wonderful flattery! Particularly the smart intellectual type bit!!! Haha! If only but… tum tee tum.

      I don’t have wrinkles, I have expression lines πŸ˜‰ One of the reasons I don’t like makeup, especially foundation, is that it turns my skin into crumpled paper, so my face is usually naked. I do play around with the photos in photoshop, it’s like being in a candy store with all the filters you can use. I sometimes go a bit mad scientist. In the pic from the last post I was messing with some new filters, I did it in a hurry and was paying more attention to the cat’s bottom than my face (typical), so my skin is not like that at all. It looks a bit alien. Ha! I always thought I might be from another planet… guess the thought leaked out into my work.


  4. Olivebranch-
    Rained today but raincheck for tomorrow- I will get 3 super pixie sticks – one for each of us crazies!!! I’m sure you”ll both be there in spirit , so I’ll just eat yours too !!!! Feel free to track me down at some park near a Costco!!! Just look for the crazy woman with pixies on a sugar high !


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