Don’t Kill My Shoes!


“Don’t kill my shoes! Please don’t kill my shoes!”

Those were the words I shouted at the salesman in the shoe shop who had just informed me that my shoes…

the ones which I had been wearing,

which had been on my feet when I walked into the store,

and which I’d only taken off momentarily to try on a new pair,

a pair which I had yet to decide to buy,

…had been taken away to be incinerated.

I was shouting because I was in distress,

my feet were in distress,

because they couldn’t find their home,

they’d only left their home for a few seconds,

distracted by a possible new home,

but just because they were distracted by a possible new home did not mean that they did not appreciate the home which they had.

Yet someone else had made a presumption,

a presumptuous presumption,

and ordered the killing of my shoes.

The culprit was not this salesman,

this salesman had only been following orders,

orders which had come from his manager,

orders which his manager had given for reasons with which he was about to be confronted.

But first I had to save my shoes,

I was not allowed to do this myself,

for safety reasons,

for reasons of a sign which claimed no customers were allowed beyond this point.

I was not an official customer since I had not bought anything yet,

I was a potential customer,

and if the manager had his way,

then I would be obliged to live up to that potential,

as surely if I no longer had shoes I would be forced to buy a new pair.

He really didn’t know me.

When I had first walked into this shop, the manger had sized me up, he had judged me based on the shoes which I was wearing which were tatty and old. He saw in me, in my feet, in my shoes, a sure sale. Obviously I was in a desperate state and people who are in a desperate state are desperate enough to part with money to buy themselves out of their desperate state.

Desperation is a pheromone which attracts predators.

He zeroed in on me like a spider to a fly caught in its web, the vibrations of my struggle thrilled his avarice.

He peppered my ears with an aggressive spiel designed to knock my shoes off,

sweep me off my feet and into a brand new pair of shoes.


he made one very crucial mistake.

He really didn’t know me.

He criticised my shoes,

he tore them apart with his tongue,

and my feet were burned by the acid in his saliva.

I grabbed his tongue and cut it off.

“Do not try to convince me to buy new shoes, you can’t convince me to buy new shoes!”

His tongue wriggled in my fingers.

“I am very stubborn and nothing you can say or do will sway me to buy new shoes unless I choose to do so,

so please back off and leave me to browse, I will let you know when my browsing turns into buying.”

I waited for his tongue to stop wriggling, to stay still, then I returned it to him and turned my back on him.

Behind my back he plotted and planned,

and came up with a ploy to show me,

to show me that he could indeed convince me to buy a new pair of shoes.

He really didn’t know me.

While the salesman rushed away to save my shoes from incineration,

to unfollow the orders he had followed,

I turned with bare-footed defiance towards the manager,

who was smirking smugly at the results of his actions thus far,

licking his lips in anticipation of a win and a sure sale.

“If you think that I won’t walk out of this store in my bare feet, you, Sir, would be wrong.”

He doubted this very much.

“I actually had every intention of buying a new pair of shoes in this shop, which is why I came in here.

When I told you that you could not convince me to buy a pair of shoes, I meant it. I had already convinced myself that that was exactly what I was going to do.



have managed to convince me not to buy a pair of new shoes!”

And then I woke up.

β€œYou might be poor, your shoes might be broken, but your mind is a palace.” ― Frank McCourt


  1. Bloody brilliant, Ursula; what fabulous feistiness, what delightful defiance; that’s telling ’em! xxx


    • Thank you πŸ˜€

      I love dreams! This one brought out all of my feisty bare-footed cheek, the nerve of it, incinerating my shoes to manipulate me into buying new ones! ROAR! Ha!


  2. Excellent! I can walk out of a shop where I want to buy something for whjich I have been saving up for months only because the shop assistant has made up her or his mind to convince me to buy that very thing…


    • Thank you πŸ™‚

      Funnily enough I used to work in a shoe shop (at one point in my life I thought this was a ‘dream’ job), and when I did I was haunted by dreams (nightmares) about shoes! Mostly just dreams about the rooms where all the boxes with shoes in them are stored. It’s been a while.

      When I sold shoes, I didn’t ‘sell’ the shoes, or ‘sell’ the person on the shoes, I let the shoes sell themselves, and the person ‘sell’ themselves on what they wanted, let the buyer decide since the decision was theirs. Most people liked this approach, a few wanted me to convince them to buy the shoes, and I just thought and often said it out loud – if I have to convince you to buy those shoes, then those shoes are not for you.

      I see it as a good metaphor for many other things in life. We know what we want, and if we don’t know what we want we tend to know what we don’t want, and that informs us just as much. When someone tries to impose their will on us… even if their will is the same as our will, it changes the dynamics. Sometimes we sacrifice what we want to underline what we don’t want and make our boundaries clear and respected one way or another.

      C’est la vie!


      • You have such an original and creative approach to life and expΓ©riences.i am about to start a boring and uninteresting job next month, I wish I could see it creatively and find psychological outlet as a reward. Your last sentence interprets well my current choices and attitude.


        • Sometimes it’s up to us to make our wishes come true. Maybe this job won’t be as boring and uninteresting as it seems from a distance and this perspective once you’re doing it.

          Have you ever read any of Dale Carnegie’s books. In one of his books he gives pointers on how to turn a boring job into an interesting experience. You never know, maybe this is about fine-tuning your personal power in your life πŸ™‚


      • ~~~ “When someone tries to impose their will on us..even if their will is the same as our will, it changes the dynamics.”~~~ ahhhhh, yes it does…sorting through this kind of stuff right now…..I think I want their original thought instead of mimicking mine.. It just doesn’t feel authentic….hmmmmm


        • It’s wonderful when someone shares their original thought, there is a quality of energy to it which is stimulating, which is similar to a brainstorming session. Even if your thought and their thought is almost the same when expressed, how they got to that thought and how you got to it is a different path, and when you both share with each other the path you took to develop a thought, you share more than just agreement and support, you share inspiration, you share your uniqueness.

          For instance (and this is a silly example) – If I say “I love cats” and you say “I love cats too”, and we leave it at that, we both love cats, the thought is static. However if I share why I love cats, how I came to that thought, and you share why you love cats and how you came to that thought, then the thought is buzzing with flow. Perhaps what you share with me gives me a new perspective on my love of cats, and vice versa, and that new perspective may lead to something else, inspiration which goes beyond the initial thought of ‘I love cats’, maybe we find out that our love for cats is also a shared love for independence of spirit, or Egyptian deities, or a similar experience, etc, or maybe our love for cats comes from different sources and when we share our sources of our thought we introduce each other to something new… and that something new opens up our worlds for us.

          Authenticity and originality are valuable because they are a part of our reason for being here, our unique gift to the collective, so to speak πŸ˜€

          It’s great to have someone agree with us, it’s a form of validation and acknowledgement, of support and tribal bonding… but knowing why they agree is important information. Motive and intention are vital to know and understand.


          • I am a great fan of spontaneity, whatever comes up unbiased by an hidden agenda, just flowing in a natural way. Therefore when you agree with someone and you discover their reasons which might be different to yours, you learn about your own way of being, how you work Inside.I relie more on my instincts and I loathe when people are agreeing with me just to add a flattering touch, it’s like buying me and I become very suspicious, but I try not to analyze everything as i don’t want to spoil the rare occasions life presents to us a real gifts when we meet someone with whom we have really plenty to share.
            I had a look on Carnegie’s work, I do need to make this dull job interesting.
            BTW, have you ever heard of Edward De Bono’s hats?it suits your passion for switching point of view to understand life puzzles!


            • I agree with you πŸ˜‰ The manner in which someone agreeing with you is delivered makes all the difference to the dynamic.

              Flattery is annoying and definitely suspicious – why are they flattering you and what do they want from you in return, because people usually only use flattery when they want something for themselves. Occasionally flattery presents us with a mutually beneficial situation, but for the most part it presents complications because when someone uses flattery there is a lot of subtext going on, the most noticeable is that the interaction is unequal in some way. Someone thinks someone else is inferior or superior or useful to them in some way, or something along those lines.

              Flattery and compliments are different. The energy of the delivery is different.

              I’m pretty sure I read De Bono’s Lateral Thinking a while ago when I was on a quest to improve my way of thinking. I read loads of books on thought, and many of those books claimed to be the ultimate manual of thought. At some point I got so confused by all the different ‘How to Think’ advice from ‘experts’ on thinking that my mind imploded. The thinking hats concept is intriguing, useful and helpful in understanding the layers of the thinking mind… what hat is one supposed to wear while exploring a concept of how to think? How does the mind study the mind?

              Love that! Thank you πŸ™‚


              • What really intrigues me in the hat system is that you are compelled to express yourself under each one, therefore the same topic is supposed to bring about possibility, anger, objectivity, outlet and constraints and you have to voice them. Since it’s under the effect of the colour, we feel more confortable to express ourselves and it’s an all round, holistic approach-it’s suits Ursula! but this is fiction applied to corporate employees twenty years ago, can we adopt it with real issues? i doubt it, but there is still something magic about encouraging everybody’s viewpoint. Your last question lands on philosophy and one of my favourite approaches is Wittgenstein’s Tractatus logico-philosophicus, seeing reality made of facts and not things and the question of silence and language.Sorry, now it’s me off the tangent!


                • I love tangents!!! Tangents are free association, alternative perspectives, connections, ripples, and a way to hear the many voices within and without which show that the facts which make up reality are composed of many intertwining threads. Et cetera into infinity and beyond πŸ˜‰

                  When we explore consciousness, ours and that of others, past, present and potential future, the expanse is too great and so we try to narrow things down. We try to make order out of what appears to be chaos. So theories are created, such as the hats, and they apply, but they are limiting, those limits help us to focus but also hinder us if we take them too seriously and allow them to narrow our minds and perspective to fit into them rather than fit them to us – kind of like trying to fit our bodies into the sizes which fashion designers offer us and then judging our bodies for not fitting into the sizes offered, etc.

                  Systems can blinker us as much as they can open our eyes to more than we can already see.

                  They can also threaten an already existing system. Sometimes progress is viewed as a potential threat to the status quo, even if the progress is simply an new criteria added to an already existing set of criteria. We fear the unknown, and anything new is an unknown.

                  I was reading something recently which was speculating on the ‘Culture of Narcissism’, on what created it and why. What was/is its purpose. In theory it was promoted as a means to an end – to stop us from connecting with others, push us into mass individualism and keep us all separate, thinking only of ourselves, our needs, out wants, our desires, and to make us compete with others and see them as our rivals, competition. As long as we are predominantly at odds with each other, fighting over something, believing in lack, the haves and have nots, then we don’t get together and realise that we’re all on the same side. If we were to get together we could join forces and perhaps overthrow the status quo, the status quo which the few have created for the many to keep them under control – keep them under control for ‘their own good’, for the good of all. It makes both sense and nonsense, depending from which angle it is approached.

                  Wearing different hats to look at the same thing allows us to think outside of the box – once we’re outside of the box we’re considered dangerous because we could go anywhere. For some reason freedom is considered a threat to freedom.


            • Thank you very much πŸ˜€

              The boots were a gift (a humorous gift from someone who knows I can’t walk in heels but that I love crazy and impractical presents), they’re impossible to walk in (kind of hilarious to watch me do it judging from the looks I get and the howling laughter which follows) but they make a great photo subject and decorative sculpture! I had fun with the photo!


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