Hiding my Tastes and Aversions

Ausschnitt_Babel - Jens K. MullerAusschnitt Babel by Jens K Müller

.

.

“I must be myself. I will not hide my tastes or aversions.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

.

.

I can’t recall how long it took me to learn that sharing my views, my tastes and aversions, was an unpopular course of action.

It was a painful process which started when I was a child.

Which caused much confusion in my developing mind.

Which may have even influenced the wiring in my brain to get scrambled,

and resulted in dyslexia.

Sometimes when reading my eyes see the opposite of what is written.

Sometimes when listening my ears hear things which have not been said.

I often curse my stupid brain and the errors of its ways.

However…

There are times when people express the opposite of what they think,

when what they say hides what they truly want to say.

Because I am not the only person who has learned in a long and painful way that sharing my views, my tastes and aversions, is an unpopular course of action.

.

.

“The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion.” – Noam Chomsky

.

.

When we agree with others, others reward us with acceptance.

We make them feel good about themselves, and they in turn allow us to feel good about ourselves.

When we disagree with others, they reject us.

We make them feel bad about themselves, and they return the favour.

Of course, it’s more complicated than that,

everything is, everyone is.

Yet…

We strive to simplify the complexity of being, of life.

We create formulas to sum things up,

pop it in a box and tie a bow around it,

adding a label which says – this is this and that is that!

And so say all of us,

don’t you agree,

with the popular opinion.

.

“Everything popular is wrong.”  – Oscar Wilde

.

.

There are those who think that agreeing with the popular opinion is an unpopular opinion.

For each popular opinion there is an equal and opposite unpopular opinion,

and each side of the seesaw is popular

with its respective tribe,

its social group,

its people.

.

.

“…it wasn’t that I was anti-popular culture or anything and I had no ambition to stir things up. I just thought of mainstream culture as lame as hell and a big trick. It was like the unbroken sea of frost that lay outside the window and you had to have awkward footgear to walk with.” – Bob Dylan

.

.

Sometimes this hokey pokey song and dance is all about,

what is in,

and sometimes it also about what is out,

as a contrast,

a movement needed to balance the body,

lest it fall over,

from leaning too far,

one way or the other.

Sometimes what is in,

becomes what is out,

and the rules of popular are shaken all about.

.

.

“Science, like life, feeds on its own decay. New facts burst old rules; then newly divined conceptions bind old and new together into a reconciling law.”

– William James

.

.

At some point after I learned that sharing my views, my tastes and aversions, was an unpopular course of action, I retreated into silence.

.

.

But silence was unpopular too.

.

.

“To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” ― Elbert Hubbard

.

.

And so I devised a new course of action,

a blending of the old and the new,

of lessons learned,

of lessons to be unlearned,

of lessons yet to be learned.

.

.

It’s a work in progress…

or at least that is what I call it,

others may call it something else entirely.

.

.

Anti-social

.

.

This ramble through my thoughts was inspired by – The Daily Prompt: Matters of Taste

When was the last time a movie, a book, or a television show left you cold despite all your friends (and/or all the critics) raving about it? What was it that made you go against the critical consensus?
.

.

Hidden within my post is my answer.

A clue – It’s in plain view.

A clue too – 143 minutes minutes of my life which I wish I could get back to waste on something else. Usually when I watch a film which leaves me cold, I stop watching, but for some reason I stuck it out, perhaps because I hoped to see why it was popular. Sometimes hope is just a coping mechanism for pain which is being ignored (this is a hint).

My dyslexia has fun altering the title to reflect my opinion of it. I rarely share those permutations. Not every opinion needs to be shared… or maybe it does. I haven’t figured that out yet.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Hiding my Tastes and Aversions

  1. I was just reading about this pretending to have different opinions, or agreeing so as not to be rejected as part of a description of Mercury opposite the ascendant (and I guess in the seventh – which I have). on Astromatrix 🙂 I can really relate to this, being told what I think is wrong or just receiving that funny look and being sidestepped. I got in trouble last year for exploding about something with a group of people which I thought was abusive to another person ….. then being sidelined later. It stung but in a way I was glad it got sorted, I’ve been happier not spending time with these people… I’d rather feel that I am being true to me now, even if that means being thought strange or being alone. Just reading what you write is such a source of comfort, I’m grateful for a blog universe of which you are a part. ❤

    Like

    1. It’s an intriguing dynamic because there are so many intersecting connections. In social interactions, especially group ones, the blending of individual consciousness and group/collective consciousness can have many diverse chemical reactions. Some go smoothly together and others create friction and fizz, and many other combinations. The difference is that chemicals are almost always open about how they react to each other whereas humans can hide it, mask it, sometimes for the sake of the group dynamic, and sometimes for the sake of the individual, usually a bit of both – why don’t we feel able to always be open about our views and reaction? Answering that spawns many variations of answer. So deciding to agree or disagree or something else is fraught with alternatives.

      One of the things I like about astrology is that you can actually see what chemicals are at work within you, and how your individual chemicals may or may not interact with those of others. Mercury is particularly interesting because it always remains separate even when it seems to blend. The mind separates us, keeps us individual, even when it gives the impression of mixing with the group mind, the basic/personal mind doesn’t mix, what mixes is another part of the mind, a higher octave of it. You can see something of whatever I’m going on about in this comment in the blogosphere – many blogs are separate but they join together in a community of bloggers, individuals sharing together.

      My brain just fizzed and fizzled out 😉

      When we go against the group mentality, we’re taking a risk – but when we make the decision to do that we’re usually ready for it (although we may not always feel that we are ready) and for the consequences, even if the consequences hurt, we know it will hurt us more to go against ourselves. It’s all part of the learning curve of growing, evolving. Going against the group is one of the ways we grow up and grow in confidence. If we didn’t separate properly from our earliest experience of group mentality, then we repeat the same dynamic in our lives until separation can finally occur. Then we spend time alone, and learn from that. Then once we feel confident as an individual, we are ready to experience a group scenario in a new and more challenging manner – one where we are an active member bringing our individual spark to the group – rather than an audience member, a filler, there to support the group. Something like that anyway 🙂

      Bravo and kudos on standing your ground and speaking out!!! Always difficult, can be painful yet strangely rewarding.

      Like

  2. It really touched my heart, this is my story too.Thank you so much for doing what you do, so many people out there haven’t got a clue about the abuse they are undergoing, i sometimes think of all the children who have just started their lives and they are in N environment without any help or exterior support. xxx

    Like

    1. The important thing is to take care of the child within, the one whom you can do something for, the one who was hurt and who needs to heal, and whose hurt offers healing, and by doing that… things ripple out from within into the outside. Things change gradually, almost imperceptibly. For one, and through that one for all in a way. We all have a legacy to pass on, an individual imprint which leaves an impression… it all has a place and a purpose, so do we and all we have experienced and have yet to experience. We will always live in interesting times with many challenges and adventures, both for ourselves alone and ones which we share with others 🙂

      Like

Comments are closed.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: