Why Are You So Serious?

As a child…

Being a child was the territory of the adults in my life.

My territory was being the only adult,

who,

happened to be trapped inside the body of a child.

This created many problems,

for me,

not for them,

those eternally youthful souls whose bodies betrayed them by getting old while their inner selves never aged.

.

Puer aeternus,

puella aeterna.

.

The eternal child.

.

.

the little prince - saint exupery.

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That’s what being an adult meant to me when I was a child.

.

It was about being childish,

irresponsible,

unaccountable,

and so many other things which was never their fault…

and often my fault,

my responsibility,

I was the only one who was accountable.

.

Hmmm…

.

Is it any wonder that I thought that,

adults were immature…

but their size and the power they had,

which they used and abused unwisely,

meant that they thought…

how deceiving thoughts can be…

that they were mature.

Whereas my size and my power,

was small and seemingly meaningless.

.

Hmmm…

.

Is it any wonder that I looked forward to growing up,

becoming an adult,

then I could finally be immature,

irresponsible,

unaccountable…

and blame everyone else for everything,

nothing would be my fault.

.

Which would be a change from the usual.

.

As long as I was a child… what a burdensome burden.

.

Once I was an adult… someone else could carry my burden.

.

That someone else could be my child.

That’s why adults have children, right?

.

But…

.

I guess I never grew up… never became an adult.

.

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the hat - saint exupery