The Debauch – Waters of Delusion, Clouds of Intoxication…



There are things which I used to do,

which I no longer do.


And there are things which I do now,

which I did not used to do.


Have I changed?


You could call what has happened… change,





simply the opening of eyes,

the waking from a dream,

a nightmare.


The skies are clearing,

the clouds of intoxication are disappearing,

my feet are on firm land,

and I’m drying off after a swim in the waters of delusion.


I thought I would suffocate breathing such thick and poisonous fumes…

I thought I would drown drinking in such heavy and turbulent liquid…


It went to my head,

filled it with bubbles,

which burst…

But when these bubbles explode they cover everything with sickly sweet.


The clouds of intoxication did not come from drugs,

the waters of delusion were not those of alcohol,

but they were fabricated by man,

and woman.


I grew up in the land of make believe,

in a castle in the sky…

which is not as pretty as it sounds.


It was Hotel California,

and the only way to leave.

was by leaping to your death…

a leap of faith,

of hope,

in the possibility of escape,

of freedom,

from the twisted, clinging tendrils,

which keep you trapped in a dream,

an illusion,

a delusion,

a dungeon disguised as a fairytale castle.


There are places where everything is upside,

but appears as though it is the right way up.


Insane in the membrane,

but the membrane thinks it’s sane.


Chase the rainbow to find the pot of gold,

the happily ever after,

riding on a unicorn,

following the yellow brick road,

paved with good intentions,

down the rabbit hole…


Living in someone else’s dream come true,

they wished upon a star,

rubbed a magic lamp,

met a fairy godmother…


Their Aladdin’s cave,

Treasure Island…

Your Chateau d’If,

Devil’s Island…


Their elixir of life,

fountain of eternal youth,

nectar of the gods…

Your life,

your youth,

your blood,

your energy,

being drunk,

by them,

powering their Wizard of Oz,

creating their Wonderland.


One ring to rule them all…

going around in circles,

binding you in darkness.


I used to believe what people told me about themselves, their lives, about myself, my life, about others and their lives, about the world, about reality…

I drank from the cups they offered me.

This is something I used to do,

which I no longer do.


I now only drink from my own cup.

This is something which took me a while to do,

as I was told that to do so was,

very bad manners,

the worst kind of intoxicating delusion.


Have I changed?




Perhaps it is others who have changed.



perhaps there has simply been a shift in perception which has created a shift in reality,

the perceived reality.






*post inspired by the 7 of Cups in tarot.

This was a card which turned up all the time in my tarot readings.

In the Thoth tarot deck, which was my favourite deck due to the illustrations rather than the interpretations, it is known as Debauch.

Debauch… my mind loves that word, but does not love what it represents. To me. My perception of it.

I used to hate getting this card, because I didn’t understand what it meant, what it was saying, what message it was giving… now I understand, and it was right. I used to think it was wrong.


Have I changed?