The Golden Child

A well thought out and thoughtful post!
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Please read it carefully, especially if you relate to the scapegoat role assigned to you by your narcissist parent, before you react. The subject of being a child of a narcissist (ACoN) can trigger our pain and we need to pause before reacting to make sure we don’t allow our pain to do the talking for us and hurt others as we were hurt. We do not want to pass on our wound, to do to others what was done to us. Our goal is to understand and heal through understanding, and to pass the healing on.
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I realise many scapegoat children of narcissists experience their golden child sibling as a narcissist too. It is important to remember that the golden child had that role forced upon them by the narcissist parent, just as the scapegoat had that role forced upon them.
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Not all children of narcissists become narcissists. Not all golden children become narcissists.
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As I said to the author of this post, since I was an only child of two narcissists, I experienced the roles of both the golden child and the scapegoat, plus any other role which was required of me. Sometimes I experienced these roles simultaneously. I was often pitted against myself, which was very confusing. Sometimes my parents played the golden child to my scapegoat (never vice versa).
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We share our stories to figure our stories out, to access our own knowledge and wisdom.
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Pain connects us more than anything else in life, we all feel it, experience it, suffer its consequences… so does healing our pain.
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Sharing our stories can make us vulnerable… vulnerability is healing as well as wounding, it is strength as well as weakness.
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Respect. Of others of ourselves is universally healing.
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Thank you for sharing your story, Lorna.
Best wishes!

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