Do you have relationship problems with a Capricorn?

Karma Capricorn

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Every now and then, often once a day, in the search criteria which led someone to my blog, I find a Capricorn related problem.

As in:

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‘capricorn seem cold’

‘do capricorns mean it when they say i love you’

‘capricorn man silent treatment’

‘why do capricorn men give the silent treatment’ – this keeps coming up, hmmmm…

‘giving the capricorn man the silent treatment’ – more hmmmm…

‘why capricorns never age’ – not sure if that is a problem!?!

and the winner for most commonly used search related to a Capricorn…

‘capricorn sociopath’

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Capricorn – voted most likely to be a sociopath… according to others.

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What does this all mean?

Well,

for those who aren’t Capricorns,

it means you find Capricorns annoying, mystifying, secretive, or something along those lines.

Basically you have one idea of how your relationship should work and the Capricorn with whom you’re in a relationship or with whom you want to have a relationship is not going along with your idea… your ideal… which is not cooperative of them at all, it must be them and not you, right?

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Relationships are always complicated… whether you throw astrology into the mix or not.

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Two individuals trying to merge in some way,

two chemicals trying to blend…

things could explode,

fizz,

fizzle… out.

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Oil + water…

Fire + earth…

Wind + fire…

et cetera…

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Flammable liquid + flame…

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Baby, won’t you light my fire…

Ffs, Baby, why are you dousing my fire!?!?!

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Astrology is a useful tool for figuring stuff out… but it depends on how you use it.

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A cautionary and very funny tale (whoever created this is a genius – IΒ  can’t find the source, the creator, and so I can’t give credit and link to them – which I really want to do. Capricorns like to give credit where credit is due.):

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Astrology of relationship

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That guy, this relationship, is doomed… but maybe he likes playing ‘Doom’.

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I love astrology, it has many uses.

The Capricorn motto, according to astrologers is – I use.

I use astrology.

It can make sense of things which other subjects can’t… in ways other subjects can’t, don’t and sometimes won’t because then you’d figure things out for yourself… and some subjects and the people who use them and claim to be experts at using them – you can’t use them if you’re not an expert (according to whom? Those experts, perhaps?) don’t want you to do that. They don’t want you to figure things out for yourself… because then you wouldn’t need them and their expertise.

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Hmmmm…

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One of the things I like about astrology is that it blends black and white, negative and positive, right and wrong, and so on, it shows two sides, the extremes, and then shows all the stuff which lies in between the two. The sweet spot between extremes can be found, even if just for a moment. Saturn, the ruler of Capricorn, knows how to play with time and stretch moments. It has a positive side as well as its more well known negative side. The task master, the disciplinarian… has a soft underbelly.

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Under the tough exterior of a Capricorn is a soft underbelly.

We just know it’s stupid to expose it to just anyone and everyone.

We learn from our own stupidity and try not to make the same mistake twice. We don’t mind being stupid if we learn from it. That’s life. However… make other mistakes, new ones, instead of the same one, an old one, over and over again, because… that’s just stupid on a whole other level. That’s a professional and expert kind of stupid… we’re ambitious, or so we’re told, or so ‘they’ say, so I guess that could be where our ambitions lie, but we’d rather our ambitions didn’t prostrate themselves in such an endeavour.

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You’ll never be able to piss us off as much as we piss ourselves off…

however, there are times when you can come close to winning this particular competition.

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Capricorn bad mood

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Such as…

So you think that the Capricorn whom you know is a sociopath.

Why?

Because they’re not considerate of your feelings, maybe?

And you labeling them a sociopath… is you being considerate of their feelings?

Oh… they don’t have feelings, according to you, because they don’t express feelings the way that you do, the way that you want them to… so they must be a sociopath!

And it’s perfectly okay to accuse them of being a sociopath because they don’t have feelings like you do so they won’t mind… or maybe you’re poking them, hoping to get them to react to you. If they can feel pain when you inflict it… then I guess they’re not a sociopath.

What an… interesting test.

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Hmmmm….

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Capricorn and trust

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Did it ever occur to you that you’re an emotional wrecking ball… according to the Capricorn.

And the only way they can deal with your emotional overload is by distancing themselves from you, as a means of self-preservation.

You want them to be who they are not… and because they refuse to be who you want them to be, you have an emotional tantrum, and then accuse them of being cold, a sociopath, giving you the silent treatment.

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Maybe they are only a ‘sociopath’ around you.

Maybe they are only silent around you.

Maybe they are only cold around you.

Maybe it is you and not them,

rather than them and not you.

Maybe it is them around you.

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I’m sure you’ve backed up your accusation with ‘proof’ and ‘fact’.

Does everyone who knows them agree with you… ah! Fact and proof!

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Perception is everything.

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Your perception… is your perception.

Others’ perception is others’ perception.

My perception is my perception.

Neither right nor wrong.

One person’s right does not make another person wrong,

even if you want it to. Even if others want it to and agree with you.

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Perception changes. Sometimes very subtly.

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Those who support you… can turn on you in a split second.

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What applies to you applies to others… not necessarily the way that you apply it.

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Perception in relationships gets very muddled,

whether you use astrology, psychology, or whatever…

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We project, reflect, transfer… and get hopelessly confused.

Empathy isn’t always what you think and feel it is. It is more than a one-way flow of feeling,

are you sure the feelings that you’re picking up empathectically really belong to the other person?

Maybe you’re just picking up what you’re projecting… the feelings from which you have disassociated.

Their shit may be your shit.

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empathy

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I’m a Capricorn.

But,

it’s only a small part of who I am. It is not who I am.

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If you use astrology, then use all of it, not just the part which suits your intentions, motivations, and goal.

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An astrology chart is a representation of a whole with many slices. The Sun sign is a small slice of a whole cake.

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My whole cake is here.

I am a Capricorn Sun. With Virgo rising, Virgo Moon in the 12th house, conjunct my Asc (my ass), Pluto in Virgo in the 1st house, trining my Capricorn Sun. Uranus in Libra in the 1st house, conjunct Jupiter in Libra in the 2nd house, which loosely conjuncts Pluto, and trines Mercury in Aquarius in the 5th house, which squares Mars in Scorpio in the 3rd house which… and so on.

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We’re not just one thing, not just our Sun sign, not just a personality disorder (someone else may diagnose us with)… we have many layers, many slices.

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We also sometimes get given layers and slices of other people’s cakes…

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Your problem with me, with a Capricorn…

is it really my problem, the Capricorn’s problem, or yours?

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Maybe it is a problem for both of us…

50/50… or something like that.

Sharing fairly is not a human tendency, as much as we pretend it is.

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So, next time you think the problem is the Capricorn… maybe it is just how your sign interacts with their sign.

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Relationships are complicated… however you look at them.

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Our relationship with ourselves is complicated, so why would we expect it to be simple where others are concerned?

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Zodiac signs humor.

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So, to answer those search queries from this Capricorn’s point of view, which may differ from other Capricorns:

If I seem cold to you… ever wonder how you seem to me, maybe I think you’re cold and I’m reflecting you back at you.

If I say ‘I love you’ I mean it. I do not use ‘I love you’ as other signs do. I thought and felt things through before I decided to say it. I may only say it once… with words… but I will say it over and over again with actions. If you can’t ‘see’ how much I love you… why is that my problem?

Capricorn and the silent treatment – usually means we know you’re not listening to us, so why bother to speak. You only want to hear what you want to hear, rather than what we want to say. What we have to say offends your ears and what they want to hear. That is why we are silent. Our silence speaks volumes, if you can’t hear us when we speak, maybe you’ll hear us when we’re silent… but we doubt it. You are a non-listener to others unless they say what you want to hear.

Use the silent treatment on us… we’ll be relieved.

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hermit loving capricorn

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Capricorns and aging, forwards, backwards, etc – we relax with age and become sillier. Stick with us through our premature old soul youth, our curmudgeon days, and you’ll reap the rewards of our immature crone years. We know who sticks with us… so don’t try to pretend around us.

As for the sociopath label often glued onto us – some of us are indeed sociopaths, so are other signs, but if we are we won’t put up as much of a pretense about it as other signs. Capricorns value authenticity. If you’re effing with us, pretending to be all non-sociopathic and non-narcissistic, accusing us of being who you are… we’ll see it. We make keep quiet about it – give you what you call the ‘silent treatment’. Or even suck up to your version of reality and us. Because you’re not into authenticity even if you say you are. Sometimes we’ll let you call us ‘names’ if it suits us. We know that such things reveal you more than they reveal us… but we keep an eye on what they reveal about us, and an eye on how much you refuse to see what they they reveal about you.

We’re ‘tuned into’ hypocrisy. We know we are hypocrites, we know all humans have this trait, we know all humans don’t want to know they have this trait. Maybe that’s what annoys you so much about us… and why you accuse us of certain things… things which may belong to you… as well as us.

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Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself…

Before you accuse a Capricorn… check your own sign out.

Once you’ve voiced the accusation at me, at a Capricorn… too late… we’re now looking at you, and not in the way you perhaps wanted.

We all want attention, we don’t always like the kind of attention which we get.

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Be careful for what you wish.

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Any questions?

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Should I have asked that?

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UPDATE: Due to the amount of comments which this post has generated (and which I really did not expect, nor was I prepared for it) from those who are having relationship problems of one sort or another with a Capricorn… and seem to think that this Capricorn Sun (me) somehow has answers (which I really don’t) for you about your particular Capricorn (a human being who just so happens to also be born under the Sun sign – Capricorn), I thought I’d add some astrology links.

Please remember that Capricorns are people, like you are. Sun signs are just archetypes which may or may not be relevant.

Confronting Astrological Misconceptions by a Sagittarian Mind

If you’re using astrology to figure someone out, please remember that they’re not just their Sun sign (just as you are not just your Sun Sign), there’s a whole natal chart, with so much more to it… including transits of the moment.

This is a good site for relationship astrology information – Sasstrology

Speaking of transits – If you know a Sun sign Capricorn, transiting Pluto is in Capricorn (which a lot of astrologers have repeatedly written about), at the moment and for a long while, and this is causing havoc for everyone, not just Capricorns (we all have Capricorn in our natal charts), but especially for those with their Sun in this sign. Slack-cutting is the best approach to this… don’t expect Capricorns to behave ‘properly’ during this transit.

For more about transits, and all things astrology – Ruby Slipper Astrology – is a great blog to visit.

Everything you need to know about Capricorn:

First off – written by Linda Goodman, astrologer extraordinaire (and an Aries) – CAPRICORN, the Goat via sunsignsbylindagoodman – this site also has Linda Goodman’s views and interpretations of all the other signs. I suggest that you check your Sun sign out.

Second in line – The Capricorn Wedding from Star Guide to Weddings by April Elliott Kent of Big Sky Astrology.

If you are an Aries or Libra, then this series of articles may be of relevance, as those signs ‘square’ Capricorn and therefore there will be friction:

Aries and Capricorn

Libra and Capricorn

If you are a Cancerian (and I have to admit I’m flabbergasted by how many Cancerians seem to have romantic relationships with Capricorns), then my advice is to research the ‘opposition’ between Cancer and Capricorn. Those signs are on opposing sides of the zodiac axis, which means that they tend to have similarities which are vastly different.

This is a quick overview of that – Cancer/Capricorn Axis

Hope this helps… Best wishes to you!

 

 

471 comments

  1. Interesting article. My only question for Capricorns is, taking in their needs and the energy that they require in order to function at their peak in account. When does a Cap acknowledge and apologize for their fuckery?So Caps admit that they are cold and you seem to champion, in your article, the concept that if somone has an issue with a Cap, it’s that person’ s problem and not the Caps. But when that callousness becomes insensitive is that still only my problem?

    All this just sounds like a pile of bullshit excusing yourselves from ever being held responsible for the fucked up way Caps sometimes treat people. You’ve already given yourself license to be an ice cold asshole cunt of a human being who gets away with your fuckery because you delude yourselves into thinking that an energy that you’ve helped to create by virtue of your detached persona renders you void of all responsibilities that come with how you as Caps decide to treat people.

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    • I’m not the author of this blog, but wanted to reply to your comment. I am a Libra. I totally agree with your point that Caps can often be cold and can often justify their behaviour by saying that that’s just their nature, without trying to become more aware of how their coldness affects others. I do notice that Caps find it very difficult to acknowledge and apologise to others, perhaps because they have a lot of pride. You sound angry and are probably very disappointed in how you’ve been treated, but Ursula (the author of this blog) has done a great job in answering and helping people; and does not deserve the rant.

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      • Thank you very much, truly and deeply ❀

        Your gesture and words are touching and much appreciated. My Virgo Moon is particularly appreciative of what you said and did. My Sun sign will never forget this. My moon and sun signs are used to dealing with this kind of 'comment' alone.

        When we get involved as you did in a situation like this, especially online, we may incur the wrath of the person who is angry, particularly if they're on a mission. You displayed a lot of courage by stepping in. And also displayed what is much admired about Libras πŸ™‚

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Pause for a moment and think about what you pointed out at the end of your comment – the responsibilities which come with how you decide to treat people.

      You might also want to read this article – http://www.rickhanson.net/stay-right-when-youre-wronged/ – which says this:

      “It’s easy to treat people well when they treat you well. The real test is when they treat you badly.

      Think of times you’ve been truly wronged, in small ways or big ones. Maybe someone stole something , turned others against you, broke an agreement, cheated on you, or spoke unfairly or abusively.

      When things like these happen, I feel mad, hurt, startled, wounded, sad. Naturally it arises to want to strike back and punish, get others to agree with me, and make a case against the other person in my own mind.

      These feelings and impulses are normal. But what happens if you get caught up in reactions and go overboard? (Which is different from keeping your cool, seeing the big picture, and acting wisely – which we’ll explore below.) There’s usually a release and satisfaction, and thinking you’re justified. It feels good.

      For a little while.

      But bad things usually follow. The other person overreacts, too, in a vicious cycle. Other people – relatives, friends, co-workers – get involved and muddy the water. You don’t look very good when you act out of upset, and others remember. It gets harder to work through the situation in a reasonable way. After the dust settles, you feel bad inside.

      As the Buddha said long ago, β€œGetting angry with another person is like throwing hot coals with bare hands: both people get burned.” You can see much the same thing internationally. Gandhi put it so well: β€œAn eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”

      Sure, you need to clarify your position, stand up for yourself, set boundaries, speak truth to power. The art – and I’m still working on it, myself! – is to do these things without the fiery excesses that have bad consequences for you, others, and our fragile planet.” – by Rick Hanson

      You have in your comment pretty much called all people born from December 22nd to January 20th an ‘ice cold asshole cunt of a human being’. While your particular Capricorn who did you a massive wrong may well be exactly that, is every Capricorn in the world, past, present and future, the same as your particular Capricorn. Are you exactly the same as everyone born during the period of your Sun sign, and if someone who is the same sun sign as you kills someone else are you also a killer because you’re the same sun sign as them.

      You might find this amusing or really annoying or really spot on – http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/ohmystars/2014/07/kim-jong-un-ruins-capricorn-for-everyone.html

      A quick tip when dealing with Capricorns and any other Sun sign, calling other people – an ‘ice cold asshole cunt of a human being’ – even if you think you’re perfectly right, righteous and justified in doing so, and have many excuses to back you up, isn’t going to get them to treat you well because in their eyes and ears you’ve just treated them badly and thus given the m permission to treat you like you have treated them – badly.

      If you call someone an ‘ice cold asshole cunt of a human being’ – you’re taking a big gamble:

      1 – will they turn the other cheek, perhaps try to prove you wrong and be super nice to you (even though you really haven’t earned it in this particular scenario)

      2 – will they get angry, retaliate in kind (the not kind kind of kind) because your action has generated a reaction (even if your action is a reaction to someone else’s action towards you)

      3 – will they decide that since you’ve called them an ‘ice cold asshole cunt of a human being’ they might as well be one to you since you think they are anyway, you’re expecting it (and they wouldn’t want to disappoint your expectations) and you’re so certain about this that proving otherwise is a waste of energy.

      4 – if you’re calling a Capricorn an ‘ice cold asshole cunt of a human being’ a Capricorn will smile wryly and consider the possibility which you’ve just given them. If what you called them hurt them… Antarctica is warmer than a hurt Capricorn.

      But I think you knew that, you seem smart, you’ve thought this through, perhaps you’re hoping for a fight (with a stranger on a random blog in the middle of nowhere of the internet) so you can prove something or get something off your chest. You haven’t been able to make any dents in the armor of your particular Capricorn, which has been frustrating the hell out of you and that hell within unleashed and frustrated has decided to see if you can dent the armor of other random Capricorns on the internet. You can burn us and run because the internet provides you with ample anonymous protection.

      Many people think astrology is bullshit. Perhaps it is. It definitely seems to be when we’re just using Sun signs. A person isn’t just their Sun sign, there’s a whole chart which will give you a deeper insight into them and their behaviour, a chart with other signs, other planets, aspects, and also transits. A person isn’t just their Sun sign, they’re a person who has a million reasons why they are the way they are which may have fuck all to do with astrology and Sun signs.

      Are all Geminis now responsible for Donald Trump? If you hate Trump do you now hate all Geminis or if you love Trump do you now love all Geminis?

      Astrology aside – if someone has done you a massive wrong and refuses to own it, own up to it, apologise and make amends… they are most likely indeed an asshole and assholes don’t care if they make your life hell. They’ll create a problem for you and then leave you with it to turn yourself inside out trying to figure it out. They don’t care how they treat you and how that affects you and ends up making you treat other people. They will accuse you of something and leave you with it not caring how that accusation affects you or your life or others in your life because they’ve moved on… so why are you still harping on about something they did or said several hours ago while they were angry, drunk, just venting, whatever.

      Not all Capricorns are an ‘ice cold asshole cunt of a human being’ but if it helps you to believe that they are, then so be it.

      β€œSince you alone are responsible for your thoughts, only you can change them.” ― Paramahansa Yogananda (a Capricorn, so obviously not someone from whom to take advice).

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  2. I know it’s 2 years late but I just found this what about Gemini with a Capricorn friendship .I (gemini) know I’m a little bit too much to handle and he does do that ignoring thing when (I think) I talk a little too much about myself,but I always tell him he is free to go whenever he wants to but he either ignores me or acts stupid.He does ask me what I think of him and I think he thinks that I can help like save him.So I guess my question is why is weird and why doesn’t he leave?

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      I’m a Capricorn who has a Gemini friend who I sometimes ignore when they’re off on an intellectual crusade and are talking too much without listening to what they are saying. This particular Gemini spends a lot of time and vocal effort pointing out what’s wrong with everyone else, what others are doing wrong, and rarely notices how often they do what they criticise others for doing. They also don’t do research and don’t investigate the things they’re curious about, they just ask thousands of questions and aren’t really interested in the answers or in finding out why the answers are answers, they just seem to enjoy asking questions and then asking more questions (that tends to annoy my Virgo rising side more than it annoys my Capricorn Sun).

      There have been moments when I wonder why I’m friends with this Gemini because they’re so different and they’re not particularly tolerant of differences in others. But then they show their sweet side, that vulnerable child part of a Gemini Sun who isn’t all intellectual talk, and I remember what I like about them. We became friends years ago because they could handle my Capricorn quirk and I found their Gemini genius fun and inspiring.

      Gemini and Capricorn is an odd combo – it sort of works because it shouldn’t really work.

      Geminis are one of the few signs which can handle it when a Capricorn ignores them or doesn’t speak to them, Geminis don’t take Capricorn behaviour personally, don’t get all hurt and upset when a Capricorn is being a Capricorn (this is something a Capricorn appreciates as it takes pressure off of them and they can relax, feel accepted as they are) and don’t make the situation heavy with emotional drama and blackmail. In fact when a Capricorn is going through a silent phase a Gemini tends to see it as an opportunity to talk without being interrupted. Capricorns may find Geminis to be gasbags, may wonder how someone can actually talk that much for so long without pausing for breath, but the annoyance at so much blabbing is tinged with admiration – and frankly Geminis say some really brilliant things sometimes, and to get the brilliance you have to wade through lots of words.

      Both signs have an appreciation for the ridiculous in life – and Gemini is the sign voted most likely to actually notice and enjoy Capricorn humour. Capricorns have an offbeat sense of humour, usually delivered deadpan style – Geminis get that it’s humour rather than serious.

      So, for all the incompatibilities there are certain connections between the signs which are worth putting up with what they don’t understand about each other and may find annoying at times.

      Once a Capricorn considers you to be a friend – which means once you’ve jumped through a million hoops, and run the gauntlet of tests which a Capricorn puts you through – they’re very loyal and it takes a profound hurt to make them sever that tie.

      Capricorns don’t usually look to others to ‘save’ them, they tend to see themselves as responsible for ‘saving’ themselves, and usually prefer to do that kind of thing themselves. So if this Capricorn is really looking to you to ‘save’ him… I’d look beyond his Sun sign at the rest of his chart. This could be a Moon sign issue as the Moon represents the emotional nature, how we nurture and what we seek in the way of nurturing. It’s also worth checking out his 7th house – the house of partnership.

      Being a Gemini I’m sure you’ve asked him why he doesn’t leave and have probably told him that he’s weird for not leaving… so what was his answer or didn’t you listen to the answer after you asked the question? Or have you not asked him directly? If you haven’t asked him – ask him.

      Want to know why someone is doing or not doing something – ask them first before you ask anyone else as they’re the ones most likely to be able to give you a correct answer.

      That is doubled when dealing with a Capricorn – they like people to be straightforward with them. But be patient with them as it can take them ages to put together a sentence in reply. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn – a slow moving planet which takes its time to figure things out. Gemini is ruled by Mercury – the fast moving planet of communication which never sits still long enough to hear what people are saying… take a pause and listen to what he says, he’s most likely told you why he’s not leaving.

      Best wishes!

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      • Thank you for the sites and most of all your advices.For sure they we’re more useful to understand him. Especially this Capricorn is the hardest and most complex off all that I have meat before.Is hard to make him talk, is hard to be really romantic and waiting for a move sometimes, our relationship is serious cause we are both serious we can’t find the part of fun and firey of love, and not cause we think but maybe I can’t make him feel that excitement or passion, I’m trying but I don’t know I’m really reserved and serious I can be fun is that we are not close to that yet.Is something new is a new different kinda guy that I can’t read him sometimes. But of course I chose him I’m fighting cause I saw so many things in he’s hearts the way he is, I just love it. I don’t blame it he’s life is complicated and that’s why he is to reserved he wants to be sure before he comes close cause he feels that as close he comes as apart we gonna be. πŸ˜“

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  3. Okay this blog is awesome… I really wish you guys to help me. I have a relationship for one year with a cap guy. He is hot and cold cause I’m the type of warm girl to carry and loving,romantic he is different not so in to emotions like me, so he is cold and distant,so I scare him but is how I am I can’t be fake.. Well I don’t think he is a sociopath,we are just like fire and water. But I care and love him, he is everything that I need, I wanna make this work so much cause deep inside I know we can be very close.the problem is that I give 100% and he told me that sometimes this scares him cause he doesn’t give me that much but he wants me in he’s life he is scared if he’s gonna hurt me. And told me that he doesn’t feel passion..I’m just so sad I love him this much that Im really fighting I’m not letting it go easily ! I don’t know what should I do..

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Relationships are always complicated even when two people are similar. A large part of being with someone is about learning from them, learning about them, who they are, what they are like, delving into their personal story, listening to and understanding them. This can be challenging if there are strong differences which cause problems, but there are rewards for meeting the challenges.

      Sharing yourself with another person is never easy, especially as things between you get more intimate. We all have parts of us we don’t understand and trying to explain those to someone else can be hard to do.

      It sounds like both of you care about each other and benefit from being together. The issues you have seem to be connected to differences in your respective approaches to closeness, love, interaction. He obviously appreciates the love you have for him and the way you express it towards him, but it’s very different from the way he loves you, experiences love, and how he expresses it. So for things to work between the two of you will need for both of you to help each other find a common ground.

      His way of loving isn’t wrong. Neither is yours. You’re like two beings from the opposite ends of the love world coming together. Your love is fiery, openly passionate, warm and generous. Your way of loving is extroverted. His way of loving is aloof, cold, quiet, distant, a lake in the mountains you have to trek to to find. His way of loving is introverted. So how do you blend your fire and his water? How can extroverted and introverted love merge and find a solution?

      Usually the best way forwards in a situation like this is for both of you to really listen to what the other person is saying about how they experience your love and how they experience their own love for the other and then find areas where you can adapt your style to the other person’s style – but you both have to do this together. It’s like trying to figure out how to dance as a couple.

      Since he’s mentioned that he sometimes finds your intensely passionate love ‘scary’ maybe you need to tone it down a bit so that he can get closer without being afraid of getting burned. And perhaps he could take some risks, small ones, which allow him to stop worrying about hurting you.

      You seem to have good communication between you – this is a valuable thing to have in a relationship – keep communicating, work things out together, ask each other questions, find out more about your personal stories behind your love and relationship styles.

      If you’re using astrology – check out the Moon, Venus and Mars in your natal charts, and see how they interact with each other, and if anything like Saturn aspects them.

      This is a link to a site which explains what astrologers look at when exploring a relationship – https://www.astromatcha.com/astrology-compatibility-questions/5-things-an-astrologer-looks-for-in-relationship-compatibility/ – it’s more than just the Sun sign.

      Best wishes!

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      • I am so amazed, you are the first person that gave me the best advice.THANK YOU VERRY MUCH. You know I am struggling for so long I don’t know how to act or be around him we both are something new to each other. And he told me that he is amazed by how much I love him which is the first time that he experienced that and he feels that he don’t love me this much but he cares specially a lot and he don’t want to let go and me neither. Sometimes he feels like he doesn’t know him self.I don’t know how to introduce my inner, my love,should I send him. Oh gosh we are both close natures sometimes I feel like I’m the most boring person ever to him, I just wanna make him happy having fun. I am a Scorpio girl with moon sign on cancer and my boyfriend Capricorn with moon sign on Pisces.I feel like I have Lost my confidence I don’t know how to act and I’m always to worried to lose him, or being not good enough 😦

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        • First off, this – “I feel like I have Lost my confidence I don’t know how to act and I’m always to worried to lose him, or being not good enough” – is a fairly common feeling to experience when you’re in the early stages of a relationship or when your relationship shifts gears like when you decide to get more serious and make more of a commitment. Relationships, especially intimate ones, ones involving love, tend to bring out all our fears and insecurities, partly because we’re opening our hearts to someone else and it makes us feel vulnerable as we’re lowering our guard, letting our defenses down to let someone into our lives.

          So feeling anxious and worried is normal and natural when you’re very into someone else. Consider it an opportunity to get to know yourself better, your fears and insecurities as they arise give you information about the stories you carry inside of you, they’re an intrinsic part of character and identity.

          Chances are he feels something similar which is why he keeps saying things like how he doesn’t feel as you do – it sounds like that kind of statement expresses a fear of his about himself and his ability to love. It’s also a rather Pisces Moon thing to say as Piscean Moons tend to be elusive and have a fear of being pinned down to one position – the symbol for Pisces is two fish swimming in opposite directions – that symbol reflects the Pisces way of being, half of them is saying yes while the other half is saying no.

          This is a quick overview of Cap Sun/Pisces Moon:

          “Sun in Capricorn, Moon in Pisces

          The combination of your Sun sign and your Moon sign is harmonious and interesting. You have a receptive temperament and you’re strongly influenced by outside impressions and environment. You mix a very practical, serious and ambitious side, with a somewhat restless and variable personality. It may be hard, sometimes, for you to exhibit the firmness and steady purpose so often attributed to Capricorn. Often this is overshadowed by a sentimental and sympathetic touch to your nature. You have an intuitive insight that makes you very aware of the feelings of others. You have a rather serious and penetrating interest in life, and to you, most issues seem to have depth and complexity. Honest and trustworthy, you would never resort to trickery or deceit. You are thorough in your work and eager to know all you can about a variety of things. Your nature is very humanitarian and you are likely to be much less materialistic than many fellow Capricorn natives. In personal relationships, you need to exercise discrimination, overcoming a somewhat passive tendency that makes you susceptible to the influences of others.” – via http://astrology-numerology.com/sun-moon.html#10_12

          This is a quick overview of Scorpio Sun/Cancer Moon from the same site so you can compare:

          “Sun in Scorpio, Moon in Cancer

          The combination of your Sun sign and your Moon sign produces feelings that are deep and emotionally supercharged. The combination blends the emotional aggressiveness or intensity of feeling and determination of Scorpio, with the emotional sensitivity, tenacity of feeling and possessiveness of Cancer. You are proud and aloof, tending to rely on yourself more than you rely on others, but it is hard for you to say no and stick with no when you are approached with an emotional appeal. Not necessarily an outgoing personality, you don’t go out of your way for others, expecting friends to come to you instead. By nature you are somewhat demanding, even harsh, but with an intuitive understanding of the world and of people. You can be reached by those emotional appeals far more easily than by logic or good sense. You are a magnetic individual, with a tremendous amount of self-confidence. Your emotions are very powerful, your intuitions keen, and you have a great respect for your hunches. You are suspicious, shrewd, defensive, and in affairs of heart, very sensitive and jealous. The danger of this combination is that you are too receptive, too impressionable, or too easily influenced through your feeling and sensations. There is never anything wishy-washy about your attitudes and opinions and you cling tenaciously to your ideals, loves, hates, and dreams. You are strongly opinionated and capable of defending your position by argument, although logic may not be one of your weapons in this war. Your arguments twist and turn, frustrating an opponent who would attack your position with pure reason.” – via http://astrology-numerology.com/sun-moon.html#8_4

          Also worth keeping in mind since you’re using astrology is that there are different ways of using astrology, different ways it works, and one of the most insightful parts of astrology is transits – where the planets are now and how they are affecting our natal chart, our natal placements. You have a Cancer Moon – Pluto transiting Capricorn will at some point, maybe already, oppose your natal Moon and this is an intense transit, one which requires a plunging into the depths of your emotional nature, particularly the dark side, what is hidden in your inner underworld, as well as an exploration of what you consider to be love and nurturing. Pluto transforms everything it touches sometimes in very intense and dramatic ways.

          Your Capricorn will also be feeling the transit of Pluto as it will conjunct his Sun (maybe it has already). All Capricorns are going through an intense change of ego status during this transit. And his Moon in Pisces will be feeling the transits of Neptune in Pisces and Saturn in Sagittarius (Saturn will square his Moon at some point and this will bring about a ‘dream versus reality’ confrontation in matters of the heart).

          Transiting Uranus will also square both your Moon and his Sun, and so will transiting Jupiter – when transiting Jupiter squares your Moon you may feel all your emotions becoming more extreme, bigger, overwhelming, louder and your need for nurturing (yourself and/or others) will become more pressing as Jupiter tends to expand what it touches.

          This isn’t as complicated to work with as it may sound, sites like Astro.com ( http://www.astro.com/ ) make checking your transits easy by using one of their free horoscopes, either the daily astro or the forecast report.

          As to how you should act or be around him – be yourself and don’t put on an act. Capricorn Sun’s prefer people to be authentic, and he’s pretty much said that himself, he likes who you are as you are. He doesn’t find you boring at all, you fascinate him, everything about you is a mystery he wants to understand. And you’re definitely ‘good enough’ in fact if he keeps saying that he can’t love you the way you love him that may be his way of saying that he may think you’re too good for him and that perhaps he feels as though he’s not good enough for you.

          This relationship sounds like it’s a trip into Narnia for both of you, with many adventures to be had and discoveries to be made. The challenges are part of the adventure and dealing with them together will bring you both closer, help you to get to know yourselves and each other better.

          Since you both have compatible Water sign Moons, you need to feel your way through what you’re both feeling – don’t overthink it, thinking may only cause confusion. Trust what you feel and let your feelings guide you.

          Best wishes!

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          • Thank you really much… for your time and help. You really helped me to feel more clear and think many things in a different lion of view, is the first time that I experienced something like this I never meet a guy like him, he is so special and different.I’m sorry his moon,venus and Pluto is in Scorpio,mercury in Sagittarius, Jupiter in Virgo, staturn in Aquarius, neptun and Uranus in Capricorn.Me:Mars, mercury and Pluto is in Scorpio,Jupiter and Venus in Libra, staturn in Aquarius, Uranus and Neptune in Capricorn. I don’t wanna see if I am compatible or not with him I don’t believe this much in astrology it might be wrong. What I needed is to understand him and break the ice somehow know how to introduce my self without being taking for grandet. I would like to have he’s atenttion feel he’s passion toward me and make him experience something different. Sometimes I feel like he is not decided what he really wants.sometimes it seems like is hard for him to make decisions to be clear inside for what he wants, is like he don’t know what he wants.I pray that in the end everything changes for good.Your advices are amazing really is like you know my nature and hes really well 😊

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            • Lot of Scorpio in both your charts – intense on both sides. Overall your charts seem compatible, but since you’d prefer to avoid that kind of astrology and I can understand that totally – while I like astrology and find it useful, it can sometimes feel like BS – perhaps you could explore relationship dynamics instead.

              There’s a great series of articles about the most common and most problematic relationship dynamics:

              https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201508/how-end-the-fight-you-cant-remember-why-you-started

              https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201509/the-dynamic-thats-poison-any-couple

              https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201509/intimate-relationship-dynamics-iii

              The introduction to this series states this:

              “Do you and your partner have the same dialogues, disagreements, or arguments over and over? It’s probably the work of an intimate relationship dynamic. Intimate relationship dynamics are interactive patterns in which both parties automatically react to each other in set ways. In the throes of the dynamic, partners are keenly sensitive to how β€œthe other” behaves but scarcely aware of their own behavior. They know painfully well that they’re reacting to their partners’ “cold” or β€œunreasonable” (or worse) behavior but have no idea of what their cold or unreasonable (or worse) partners are reacting to or how their partners perceive them at the moment of the interaction.

              It’s not so much that individuals are in denial of their role in the dynamic; nor are one or both partners necessarily devious or manipulative, although they tend to become that way as the dynamic takes over the relationship. The deeper problem is simply that it’s extremely difficult to objectively analyze one’s own behavior.”

              From what you’ve shared it sounds as though you’re a bit stuck – both of you seem to be trying to make sure it’s ‘safe’ before you get closer and go deeper. It’s never going to be ‘safe’ enough, or at least it’s never going be ‘safer’ than it already is until you take a risk to get closer and go deeper.

              Love is an adventure and requires taking risks of the heart. We’re all afraid of being hurt by love, of having our heart broken, of the pain which could come from sharing ourselves openly with someone else. If you never want to have your heart broken then you should avoid love – but that avoidance of love can still break your heart in a different manner.

              If you want to know if he’ll take your love for granted then you’re going to have to take a risk – but if you take that risk and spend all your time looking for signs that he’s taking your love for granted you will most likely find signs that he’s taking your love for granted and will miss all the ways that he isn’t taking your love for granted because your focus will be on finding the negative rather than on finding the positive – and we always find what we’re looking for. You might also end up missing all the ways that you might be taking his love for granted – whatever you’re looking for, someone else often has the same search going on and if you’re busy focusing on finding what’s wrong with him this can end up with you doing things which he will see as being wrong.

              Love is a puzzle that works both ways – you’re both so afraid of this love and attraction between you and so focused on protecting yourselves from being hurt (protecting yourself from being hurt sometimes takes the form of being afraid of hurting the other person) that you’re stopping yourselves and each other from actually enjoying this relationship as it is.

              Forget about what he needs to do for you, or what you need to do for him. Forget about whether you’re clear or he’s clear, or you’re unclear and he’s unclear, or other variations of that. Or whether your passion for each other is equal or imbalanced. Stop overthinking this relationship and each other’s part in it – just feel it and act on feeling.

              If you want to understand him then stop thinking about what he’s ‘missing’, on who he could be if he changed who he is, and focus on who he is and has already. Listen to him, pay attention to him… and pay less attention to whether he’s paying attention to you. He obviously is paying attention to you or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You don’t ‘break the ice’ by breaking things, you melt it – and you melt it by being yourself, sharing what you want to share. You’ve already introduced yourself, you’re way beyond the introductory phase… unless this relationship with him is all in your mind and you haven’t actually spoken to him.

              See what I mean? Just be yourself – you as you are is what attracted him to you and what gets his attention. So, be you as you are. And let him be himself as he is.

              Like

  4. So here is the story. I am a Capricorn and the problem is kinda about me.

    4 months ago I saw a guy at university, we were at the same classes and it was first time that I really saw him. We said 2 words to each other, about some books and I reaaaally liked him. I added him on facebook right away. But I did nothing. I was too busy with studying and it was summer so I thought I should wait until that summer time is over, but I couldn’t. So I send him a msg in August. We started texting and we were texting for 2 months. We haven’t seen each other because we had some family health issues and we were studying a lot. He started with his msgs like we are on Tinder totally sexual conotations and it looked like he is looking only for some sex, but as we were talking it became more serious.

    Fast forward to the strory we went out 10 days ago. Date was fine, no awkward pauses, he was polite, we talked normal, but when we kissed at the end it was bad. Like really bad. 0 chemistry. I didn’t even liked the kiss. And it shocked me. It’s not like I expected fireworks, but a little bit of chemistry was excepted. I was very confused, but I decided to go out with him again. It was again fine. Kissing was better, but still nothing really happened so that I can say omg I am so into him. I have doubts now, should I continue going out with him, and maybe something will happen, or should I just quit now. It’s weird because I really liked him, I don’t know what happened. I do have some theories thought. πŸ˜€

    First let’s go on astrology theory. He is a Cancer. That is not passion sign. Maybe it’s that. And here is another problem. My last ex blew me away. I felt that instant spark with him when I met him for the first time, and our first kiss was very good so maybe I am comparing this to him. I know I shouldn’t do that, but I can’t help it. Since I dated him, I am looking for that spark I had with him in every person. Also, recently I started going out with some new friends, that are actually friends of my ex (that ex that I wrote about) and he is there too. Maybe I am still not over him. I mean he gain weight, like really gain weight and I still feel attracted to him. Yesterday after that second date I went out with that group of friend and some of them were like, you don’t like that guy, if you like him you wouldn’t be here with us. You wouldn’t leave your date so that you can hang out with your ex and his friends. So maybe thay are right. I don’t know.

    And about my ex. I don’t go out with that group of friends for him, I am not looking to be with him again (he has a girlfriend for over a year), it’s just that I like his friends. They are fun people and I like to hang out with them. I know them longer then I knew him.

    Also, I was always that type of the girl that would start a relationship because I had time to have a boyfriend, or I thouht now it’s the time to have a boyfriend, or I was just bored. (I know it’s bad) Except that last relationship. So maybe I should just go out with him again, it’s not like it would be the first time for me to do that. :/

    I don’t have any specific question, I just wanted to hear your opinion on this situation.

    Like

    • It sounds as though you’d really like to be in a romantic relationship so you’re thinking yourself into one. You’re thinking too much about being in a relationship rather than feeling it naturally. Your mind is trying to make you feel what you don’t feel. You’re not really into either of these two guys, but you would like to have a boyfriend so you’re talking yourself into being into one or both of them.

      Both guys have things which you find interesting, aspects of them are attractive to you, they have qualities which you like and could use to convince yourself to like them more than you do, but they also both have things which don’t interest you, aspects which aren’t attractive to you, things which probably will annoy you as the relationship progresses and which will cause the relationship to end.

      Neither of them is lighting that spark in the heart which makes all of you go ‘Wow! This person is the most wonderful being ever and I want to spend as much time as I can with them!’

      The fact that you’re uncertain and say ‘I don’t know’ to questions which you ask yourself like – Who do I want to be with? Which guy do I like more? – and you’re asking other people for their opinion means that you do know but maybe you don’t want to know what you know. In other words you don’t want to be with either of these guys on a girlfriend/boyfriend basis. However you do want to be with someone on a boyfriend/girlfriend basis and since these are the only candidates you’ve given yourself at the moment for a romantic relationship you’re trying to force yourself to pick one, but you don’t want either one.

      You could spend some time with both of them, see if things develop into something more for you, but you do need to consider how this will affect them as if you’re not really into either guy and know that in the long term the relationship won’t work out for you because neither is quite right for you that could end up breaking their hearts if they’re more into you than you’re into them.

      Another thing to keep in mind is that your ex boyfriend is your ‘EX’ – there was a reason why you broke up, be careful of nostalgia and the ghosts of old feelings which might blur the reasons why things didn’t work out in the first place. If you get back with him, chances are the relationship will repeat the pattern which led to the two of you breaking up.

      And you mentioned that he has a girlfriend, so he’s not available. He’s not a viable option for a boyfriend for you as he is someone else’s boyfriend and his girlfriend may be in love with him and care for him very much. If you try to get back with your ex because you’re telling yourself – maybe I should just go out with him because I’m hanging out with his friends, they keep telling me I don’t like the other guy because I’m spending time with them (they have a point about that – but that doesn’t mean they’re telling you to get back with your ex) and I haven’t found anyone better yet (which isn’t a good reason to go out with someone) – you might end up breaking his heart, you’ll definitely break his girlfriend’s heart, you could end up breaking your own heart and causing everyone pain which they don’t need – the world is harsh enough.

      When in doubt – keep things simple.

      If you enjoy spending time with those friends who also happen to be the friends of your ex, then spend time with them. If the reason you’re with them has to do with them and not him then make that clear to yourself and stick with that clarity. Having feelings for your ex is normal since you were once very close, still finding him attractive is natural, you wouldn’t have dated him before if you hadn’t found him attractive thus he’s always going to have some attraction for you, but the attraction doesn’t require action and remember things didn’t work out between the two of you – there’s stuff about him which you don’t find attractive which outweighs what you do find attractive.

      If I was you I’d take a break from thinking about being romantically involved and let romance come to you. Spend some time with yourself and with friends. Let love find you – it often does that when we’re not looking for it πŸ™‚

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      • Thank you for your answer, it means a lot to hear objective opinion.

        But the thing is I don’t want to be in a relationship. I have much bigger things right now that I need to give my full attention. I am just shocked how I changed my mind. I don’t know what happened. I was so into this guy, I am the one who iniciated everything, and now I feel nothing. I don’t get how that changed. A waitress that was serving us on a date maybe in her 50s came to give us a bill and started talking how cute we are, and I was like, sure, thanks lady, and she was like, I mean it, it’s all around you, I can tell, you like each other, you are a cute couple. I know that she maybe tells that to every couple she sees, but then again, what if there is something there it’s just that I don’t see it.

        I have guy friend who knows that guy from university and when I told him I didn’t felt that spark he was shocked. His words were: “You are crazy for saying that, you were talking about that guy for 4 months, you didn’t dated guys that were after you in those 4 months because you wanted to be with him, and now when you can you have doubts, what’s wrong with you?” And that is true, I literally said no to 3 guys that wanted to date me because I wanted to date this guy. And that is what is bothering me.

        I definitely do not consider getting back with my ex. That is in the past for me, all I want is that instant spark I felt with him. And I am questioning myself should I wait for that spark to happen again or I should just casually date guys even if I didn’t felt that spark. Because let’s be honest, maybe I will never feel that spark again.

        As of the friends, we went out to watch a movie, without my ex, and I had great time, so I know it has nothing to do with him. I just like them as people.

        And also, I don’t get why am I looking for that spark. Capricorns are not romantic. I blame my Moon in Pisces for that.

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        • I think you’re right that it has more to do with your Moon in Pisces than your Capricorn Sun, but I wouldn’t be too hard on your Moon for loving the fantasy more than the reality as fantasy nourishes you and the Moon’s job is to nourish you πŸ™‚

          I don’t think there’s anything ‘wrong with you’ like your friend said when you shared your story with him, it’s actually fairly normal and natural to behave the way that you did. It’s a very human thing to chase after a dream, forsaking all others for that dream and then when the dream becomes a reality to be a bit disappointed and meh about it. The chase is often more interesting than the catch.

          Tell me something – if you hadn’t been focused on the guy who intrigued you and hadn’t had anyone else in your sights, and those 3 guys had asked you out would you have said yes to them or would you have still said no because those 3 guys just didn’t interest you romantically even if you had mentally been available. If one or all of those 3 guys who asked you out then tried again and asked you out now, would you say yes? Or would you still say no?

          I think you should stop worrying about what you ‘should’ do and just do what you do naturally – trust who you are to guide you on your path through life. Don’t worry about finding and feeling the spark again, that spark will find you πŸ™‚

          Like

          • Yeah, that is right, fantasy is problem. I do think that you are right, maybe I am some type of adrenalin junkie who likes to chase, and now when I got what I was after it’s not challenging anymore for me, so I am questioning it.

            I went out on a group hang out with 2 of them. One was totally shy, he wanted someone to do his job, so I was like, no, if you like me be a man about it. If you like me just say it out loud. And the other was so into himself, he only talked about himself, didn’t ask me anything and I didn’t like him at all. The 3rd one I didn’t go out with, he was very pushy and I didn’t wanted to go out with him because I had 0 chemistry texting with him. So If one or all 3 of them asked me out now, so that they can date me, I would still said no.

            I will try, but I love to anylize things, and always do what I am supposed to do, not what I want. So I will try to do what is natural now, and hope that it’s going to be fine. But it’s killing me in some way, I hate hurting people, and this guy calls me his girlfriend, he talked about me with his friends, he really likes me. I’m gonna break his emotional Cancerian heart.

            As for the spark thing. I will wait for it to happen again. πŸ™‚

            Thank you very much for your perspective. πŸ™‚

            Like

            • Don’t be too hard on yourself… just get to know yourself as things happen, that’s the benefit of loving to analyse, it gives you insight into yourself and insight into yourself leads to better insight into your interactions with others, and into others.

              Other people often have similar issues to the ones you have – most people tend to prefer fantasy over reality because fantasy is warm, soft and a place to escape, reality often bites.

              It’s kind of lovely that this guy is so into you…

              Hurting people is never easy or pleasant, but if someone isn’t right for you staying in the relationship because you don’t want to hurt them isn’t going to avoid pain for either of you, is it?

              Capricorns and Cancers aren’t an easy combo as they’re opposing signs. Lots of similarities and lots of differences. Cancer will always find Capricorn a bit too hard-edged and cold for their softer side. Capricorns often find Cancer a bit too emotional, overly hyper-sensitive about themselves, and rather emotionally manipulative. They need to have compatible other planets (Moon, Venus, Mars, etc) to really work and even then it isn’t a given. However a lot of Cancers seem to find Capricorns attractive – not so sure about the other way around.

              You care a lot about others, try your best to be a good person, empathic, sympathetic… but you have to be true to yourself first to be true to others.

              Take good care of yourself!

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              • Thank you very much.

                It’s always nice to talk (well not literally talk :D) to you. πŸ™‚

                Yeah, he is the first Cancer that I ever liked, so it is a new area for me. I was always into Leos, Scorpios and Capricorns. And in my teen days, Gemini was everything for me. πŸ˜€

                Thank you for your advices. πŸ™‚

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              • Hi Ursula,

                Sorry but I just had a need to write an update. I’ ve been with the Cancer guy for 60 days. I just broke up with him. You were right, I had to do what is natural, what my intuition was telling me. I was always type that searched for signs (I don’t know which type of zodiac is connected to that but I look for signs in everything), so I kinda found some signs that I thought lead me to him. I was not happy in this relationship and I had to get out. The only thing that I felt was good for me, is that I realize, I don’t want to date anymore if I don’t feel strong connection with the guy on our first, lets say 2 dates. If there is no chemistry, it’s not gonna just magically appear after 2 months.

                Capricorns and Cancers are really not good combo in my situation. Oh how we were/are different. It was painful to watch. He was too emotional for me, he had emotional monologues for some things I found very stupid and not important. Very childish. I don’t know is that really connected to my Capricorn side, but I never liked when someone seems needy, pushy and emotional roller coaster at the same time. I’m crazy/moody enough, I don’t need another freak in my life. πŸ˜€

                I decided to be alone for now. I hope I didn’t make a mistake for not letting this go into 3rd month or even longer, and that somewhere there is someone for this weird Capricorn too. (I’m gonna let my Pices in Moon to take care of my fantasies about that someone.)

                Thank you very much for your advices. I read all you comments for my questions 3 days in a row before I really decided to cut this thing with him. It helped me realised that I still feel the same as I did 2 months ago and that I just had to let it go.

                Thank you very much once again. And although I didn’t comment on any of them, I really enjoyed reading your posts about houses. It was so nice to have a new msg from you few days in a row with new interesting material. It would be great if you can do it again with something similar.

                P.s. Since we entered Capricorn time, Happy Birthday to all of us. πŸ™‚ Mine is pretty soon. πŸ™‚

                Have a nice day. πŸ™‚

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                • Thank you very much πŸ™‚ And have a very Happy Birthday ❀

                  There is definitely someone out there somewhere for you, maybe more than one someone, there are lots of wonderful weird and quirky people out there, so don't worry about having made a mistake. This guy wasn't right for you and you weren't right for him. He needs someone who finds his emotional monologues to be passionate poetry, that's not you and that's okay. Trying to make things work between you when you're too different can end up hurting both of you and neither of you want that from a relationship. He will move on and find someone right for him and so will you.

                  Sometimes we have to be with people who aren't right for us to figure out what it is that we don't want… figuring out what we do want is often harder than knowing what we don't want.

                  Being alone can be a time of being more with yourself, getting comfortable with who you are as you are. Filling the space with yourself. The more you feel comfortable just being as you are, the more you radiate who you are naturally and that attracts others who are on the same wavelength of being. Sometimes the best way to search for a special someone is by not searching for a special someone at all, the mind doesn't always understand what the heart and soul need and may look for exterior signs of something that can only be found within.

                  Chill with yourself, and let the flow take you on a journey πŸ™‚

                  Like

                  • Dear Ursula:

                    I was wondering whether you could give some insight into the Capricorn Sun Virgo moon personality and moon in the 12th house, since that is also your astrological signature. My partner is also Cap Sun Virgo moon (with moon in the 12th house), and I find him hard to read. Sometimes he seems quiet and detached, and I wonder if it’s me, or he’s unhappy with me. This makes me insecure in our relationship, as he doesn’t give much positive feedback. With me, he sometimes seems like a loner, but if we’re around people, he seems to get more animated. However, he tells me that he’s fine, and seems to get annoyed when I question whether he loves me or finds me interesting. If I tell him he seems detached, it seems to make him withdraw more. I would appreciate any insight you could share on this topic. Thanks so much for taking the time out to answer questions such as these. Have a good Christmas.

                    Like

                    • Hi, and thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

                      I just mentioned to my partner that you had asked me about the Cap Sun/12th house Virgo Moon personality and he gave one of those looks of someone who understands what you’re going through. When he asks me what I’m thinking, he often gets “Nothing” as a reply… and sometimes I am thinking nothing. When he asks me how I’m feeling, he often gets “I’m fine” as a reply… and mostly I am fine, especially when I’m with him because he accepts me as I am and that is deeply fine making. Occasionally he asks me if I’m happy and that always perplexes me, of course I’m happy, what a weird question! But I realise that the way I express being happy may not be obvious to the naked eye.

                      Being the partner of a Capricorn Sun/Virgo Moon in 12th house isn’t easy, and finding us hard to read is normal and natural. Truth is, we may be as unfathomable to ourselves as we are to others. You could be around us 24/7 for 20+ years and still not have a clue about what we’re passionate about, what moves our heart and soul, what we’re thinking and feeling. We’re a bit like a sphinx (more so if the Ascendant is also in Virgo) and we may express ourselves in riddles which we won’t explain and may not tell you if you’ve solved them.

                      For instance, this is a riddle – ‘With me, he sometimes seems like a loner, but if we’re around people, he seems to get more animated.’ – the answer to this riddle if using astrology is, Capricorn Sun is a natural loner, Virgo Moon is also a natural loner (nurtured by time alone, often nurtures others by giving them space, alone time), thus when he is being a loner with you this shows how happy, comfortable, safe he feels in your company, he trusts you with his inner self and shows it when with you. He is sharing with you something which is very precious to him – if a loner is a loner with you = they love you. He puts on a socially acceptable persona for others, and he may enjoy the experience while doing it, it may energise him but at some point all he’ll want to do is go home, close the door and be quiet. If he is quiet with you, then you are a part of his bliss. He is happy with you – if he wasn’t he would behave very differently, perhaps like he does when he is socialising with others.

                      Quiet and detached is normal for a Capricorn Sun, this is just how we are unless our natal chart has a lot placements in fire signs. The sign is a natural Introvert – reading up on Introverts will inform you about Capricorn Suns, especially those with Virgo Moon, even more so if the Virgo Moon is in the 12th house. Virgo is a reserved sign.

                      You might also find exploring his MBTI type worth doing. Check out yours too and how yours and his work together.

                      Tell a naturally quiet and detached person that they seem quiet and detached and their impulse is to withdraw (thus becoming even more quiet and detached) to think about what you’ve just told them. They need to commune with themselves. And you’ve just made them self-conscious about being themselves which for an introvert creates more introversion.

                      Introverts usually need time to process personal questions and remarks. If you push, prod or poke them, they’ll go into their shell like a turtle. Clam shut, turning grit into a pearl… they might share their pearl with you if you have patience. Be impatient with a Cap Sun/Virgo Moon and time will slow down so much it’ll start going backwards.

                      Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the lord of time – you should check where his Saturn is and if it aspects his Sun and/or Moon. Mercury rules Virgo, Mercury is a slippery substance… Virgo Moons often intellectualise emotion.

                      I recently did a post about having a 12th house Moon and intellectualised it – https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2016/12/13/the-12th-house-it-all-ends-in-tears/

                      Worth noting – There is usually a difference in how a sign expresses itself in a female or a male. For instance if you read this quick write up about Cap Sun/Virgo Moon you’ll notice that there’s a difference between the interpretation for a female and that for a male – http://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Capricorn-Sun-Virgo-Moon-Combinations

                      the male one from that site:

                      “Capricorn Sun Virgo Moon (for guys)

                      His Illumination: Does most everything well.

                      His dark side: Choice of mate surprises.

                      There he is. The slight, serious, somewhat dark corporate accountant. He is practical and conventional. His coworkers think he is a genius. Nothing could ever throw him off balance. Wrong; one thing can and usually does–an unhappy marriage. A miserable marriage. A wife with a chronic illness or neurosis. You won’t believe me because he has such a pleasant, stable appearance. Trust me, it is a mask. His intelligence and insights are lost in the love relationships department. The intellectual side of this man is strong, and he needs a bright partner. He also needs a clean one. No crumpled sheets or dingy underwear for him. A classic bookworm, if you want to get his head out of the book, you will have to have a strong ability to talk knowingly on a number of subjects, and be a superb housekeeper and domestic engineer. His values in a relationship are strictly conventional. He will expect to be catered to, and will be until his basically unsteady partner unravels. At this point he will take over the more domestic role, including raising the children. Everything he does, he does well. Even his sexual habits are studied and perfected. Spontaneous passion is not his nature. Textbook study has no doubt come first. His choices in mates are surprising. A Pisces, a Gemini, a Cancer, or a Virgo are the most attractive of the Zodiac for him. He promises devotion, stability, pensions, cars in running order, taxes paid on time, and a well stocked freezer. He needs a Taurus, Virgo, Cancer or Pisces to make him tick.”

                      Keep in mind that interpretations like that are generalisations, which don’t factor in all the subtleties of the individual or of the individual natal chart, and they are often written by someone who does not have personal experience from the inside out of that placement, so it often reflects the perspective from the outside with little insight into what’s going on inside. Astrologers who don’t have Virgo and Capricorn strongly emphasised in their natal chart tend to come across the same difficulty as everyone does in seeing behind the sphinx-like exterior of a Capricorn or Virgo, so someone with a Capricorn/Virgo combo will get the kind of interpretation as above, which uses a lot of words to say very little, and relies on stereotypes of signs to fill in the many blanks.

                      Having the Moon in 12th house is a complex position – quite a few astrologers point out that those with Moon in 12th are usually better at knowing how others are feeling than they are in knowing how they are feeling.

                      If you do a search of a famous people astrology database… Moon in 12th comes up for quite a few poets, artists, those who express emotion through a medium more easily than they do in person.

                      Quite a few astrologers have made the observation that those with the Moon in the 12th often grow up in uncaring environments, where emotions were considered something to hide, a weakness, a source of shame. The 12th house represents ‘hidden enemies’ amongst other things – which can mean that either your emotions are your hidden enemy or those who claimed to love you, who were supposed to nurture you, didn’t. Maybe the parents were absent from their child’s life in some way, were very strict, or needed for the child to be the parent to them and the child had to push their needs aside making the parent’s needs of prime importance. Thus the child learns to detach from what they’re feeling and never really reattaches themselves because… in modern society this is a rather useful tactic – no one cares about you so it is best not to care or at least show that you care.

                      Capricorn tends to have a similar story.

                      Those with the Cap Sun/Virgo Moon in 12th house combo – It takes us a long time to warm up to people, we’re very reserved, cautious, careful. When we love, it has taken us a long time to get there, and we love intensely, silently, strongly, loyally. It’s a very earthy kind of love, a bit like how the planet supports the life on it no matter what the inhabitants do to it. If we say ‘I love you’ once that usually lasts a lifetime, we don’t say it if we don’t mean it, and we may never say it again, not in words, but it will be said through action, small, everyday, almost imperceptible gestures of love. We will know everything about the person we love (Moon in Virgo is discerning, analyses and serves. Capricorn always does their homework about the people in their life) and do subtle things to show it, things which our loved one may not notice until we stop doing them. Not dissimilar to a loving parent who cuts the crusts off the sandwiches they make for their child, which the child only notices when the crusts don’t get cut off.

                      What does he do for you that you don’t notice – what would stop happening if he wasn’t there doing those things?

                      Overall, going by what you’ve shared, it sounds like he loves you very much and is very happy with you. You are the one person in the world with who he can be himself and this is priceless real love. But he won’t necessarily express his love for you the way love is supposed to be expressed (according to social programming, and companies who want us to buy into the love story to buy their products), so he probably won’t sweep you away on a surprise trip to Paris, buy you chocolates and flowers just because, or get you a big diamond ring for Xmas, he might even not remember your anniversary or birthday (if his Mercury is in the same sign as mine), however if your favourite pair of shoes falls apart he’ll take them to a cobbler he knows who can fix them like they’re new and will do that while you’re not looking, and you may not even notice he’s done it because he won’t tell you, he’s waiting for you to find out in your own time… the waiting is delicious, if a bit tedious because you are certain the shoes are broken and you’re so crushed that you refuse to look at them. Maybe you throw them out without ever looking at them… and then you’ll never know what he did. He will stay quiet and detached about it, and won’t reveal how hurt he is that you never knew what he did.

                      A question for you – What really prompts your insecurity about your relationship? Is it really something he does or doesn’t do or is it due to what others brag about their significant others doing for them? Is the insecurity due to comparing your relationship to someone else’s and finding yours lacking because of what others seem to have? Or is it that you feel safe with him and when we feel safe all those fears which we don’t deal with when we don’t feel safe come out when we do feel safe.

                      The work of this author helped me a lot – https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199403/soul-mates

                      It’s normal and natural to feel insecure in a relationship from time to time. Those insecurities poke us and push us to evolve, learn, explore. And you are doing exactly that by wanting to understand your partner better. When we try to understand someone else better, we often end up understanding ourselves better in the process.

                      What about your Sun and your Moon… what do they reveal about your personality, by sign, by house, by aspect, and do others with those placements have a similar experience as you?

                      And have you checked out how his chart interacts with yours through aspects? This can be quite interesting and give a new perspective on a relationship dynamic.

                      What is the positive feedback which you seek and is there a way to find it in what he does without him needing to change who he is?

                      When we are challenged by those we love, sometimes the challenge is for us rather than for them… those we love have a way of transforming our experience of ourselves.

                      When in doubt, trust your heart and not your mind – the mind can play tricks on us πŸ™‚

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                    • Dear Ursula:

                      Thank you so very much for your thoughtful and helpful comments. When I read that you had shared my comment with your partner, and that he had given you a look to say that he knows what I am going through, I had to smile. I’m actually a Libra with a pisces moon, hence the confusion about the Capricorn Sun Virgo Moon personality. Like you, besides having a 12th house moon, my partner’s ascendant is also in Virgo! The analogy of the Cap Sun Virgo Moon personality resembling that of a sphinx is spot on…I always feel that there is an impenetrable yet intriguing aura of mystery surrounding my partner – not necessarily in a bad way at all. In fact, I find it quite interesting – but I think because of the personality differences, I tend to misinterpret things…which can be tricky. In fact, I tend to feel sad and rejected if he doesn’t display warmth that I perceive is a normal/universal way of self expression. For example, you said in your comment that the fact that he is quiet around me means that he can be his genuine self with me – and so it’s actually a compliment. You also mentioned that when he’s out in public and seems more animated, it’s simply him assuming a more public persona. Funny enough, when I’ve asked him, why do you always seem more outgoing and lively around others, he would say “well, it’s me being social. When I’m quiet at home, it’s because I’m more comfortable.”

                      I guess I thought maybe he was making an excuse, because for me as a Libra with a pisces moon, if I am happy with someone, I show it in a very obvious way lol. Unfortunately, I have usually interpreted this scenario as : I feel bored with you, and happier around others…and may even have withdrawn a bit, or felt unloved. This is probably because of my own insecurities and life experiences, and my lack of a knowledge of these personality intricacies. Funny though that you said that I should trust my heart and not my mind, because when I use my heart, I know the love is there. It’s beyond words…just a subtle feeling that feels right. But I often forget, and my mind runs rampant (he’s not doing this, he isn’t saying this…therefore, he probably is used to me/bored). I see a sort of blank, bordering on strained expression on his Cap square face, and begin to imagine all sorts of things, when it doesn’t mean anything at all lol and he’s probably fine and even relaxed ironically lol..I found what you said about having a 12th house moon interesting…that it is a placement where people may be detached from their feelings due to their past. It makes me realise that it must not be easy having such a placement, and makes me understand where he’s coming from a bit more. Thanks again for your comments – they made me feel absolutely relieved. I think it will work out best for him and I if I just relax, and not over analyse or read into things too much. There are so many great qualities about him, and it’s okay and interesting if we are different. As you said, I need to trust my heart more rather than use the mind…I don’t think the mind will ever be able to figure the enigma of the sphinx out, and it’s quite nice that way πŸ™‚

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                    • Thank you ❀

                      It sounds like the two of you… there's a deep planet of love there which is for both of you to explore at your leisure.

                      I bet he finds you as much of a mystery as you find him to be… and that's one of many things he adores about you (never forget your own sphinx-factor!).

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  5. I have never read about capricorns this much from past 1 week and your blog is so informational. I wish I had known this before I pissed off my friend and like any he is giving me silent treatment. He was sick and I dropped by his house with food and some otc drugs. I sat on the porch for 1hr , tried calling him and rang his door bell. He didnt answer text nor reply or open the door.He hasnt spoken to me from then.I wish I had known that he wanted to be left alone.After 16hrs I sent him an apology , again sent him a text after a week that mistakes happen and we have to let it go, he is still silent.I dont know this much person that much and yet things happened so fast.Now everyday I wakeup with regret and have no clue if he is ever going to talk to me or not.One thing I realized is , he is going to come back if he thinks I am worth being a friend else its all over.I have never seen this emotionally closed off person in my life so I find it all strange , I am a virgo and I am reasonable patient with people and cannot let people go just like that out of life.I make friends very selective and most of the my friends stay with me for years. Any advise on what to do next in this scenario?.I have already beaten up myself for this and I really want this person in my life but I cant keep guessing whats going to happen next.I am giving im space for now hoping he will call me or text me on his own, if he doesnt , then I will have guilt in my head for as long as I live. Am I being punished for caring about him , he could have told me to leave him alone in a text or a call if he didnt want to see anyone.

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. Nor does it sound like you’re being punished for caring about him – not by him anyway, it does sound like you’re punishing yourself for caring. Maybe you feel that you made a fool of yourself by caring too much too soon – you didn’t, what you did was very sweet. You obviously really like this guy and you’re overdoing things a bit in the worrying that he won’t like you back department, that’s normal when you like someone.

      Virgos do have a tendency to worry too much, be anxious, and focus on tiny details which they turn into giant problems by overthinking them.

      Don’t overthink this situation, stop making yourself feel guilty, you have nothing to feel guilty about as you did nothing wrong, and you have no reason for regret, you didn’t do anything you need to regret, so stop beating yourself up. You wore your heart on your sleeve and that’s beautiful.

      When dealing with situations that involve other people it is usually a good idea not to take their behaviour personally and think that what they are doing or not doing has anything to do with you and what you are doing or not doing until you have more information and can definitely confirm that the way they are behaving does indeed have something to do with you. Most people do things which are personal to them and the way they behave usually is about what’s going on with them rather than as a reaction to you.

      In this particular case, since you said that this Capricorn friend of yours is sick, my guess would be that he’s simply feeling too ill to deal with being social. Perhaps when you dropped by his house for a visit he was deeply asleep, that kind of deep sleep sick people have, perhaps he already had medication, had taken it and the medication acted like a sleep drug. Or maybe he was too ill to get out of bed to answer the door, answer the phone or text, or deal with anything or anyone.

      Socialising requires effort and energy, and when you’re sick you don’t usually have that kind of energy and can’t usually make that kind of effort. Some people really don’t like for others to see them when they’re sick, and don’t feel like communicating with others, they just want to crawl into bed and be left alone.

      If I was you I wouldn’t take his behaviour personally. He’s sick, and if his illness is a bad one it may take him awhile to recuperate. Stop expecting a sick person to behave like a well one – use that patience which you said you have and be patient with him and with yourself. Cut both of you lots of slack and try to relax.

      Take a time out from trying to guess what’s going to happen next and just let what happens next happen.

      He’ll call or text you when he’s feeling better, if he doesn’t get in touch once he’s better then he’s a bit of a jerk because you sound lovely – his not getting in touch with you when he’s better isn’t something for you to feel guilty about for the rest of your life. You can’t control other people, therefore how he behaves isn’t your responsibility or fault. It’s worth considering that it might take him awhile to get in touch even when he’s better because he might feel embarrassed that he didn’t let you in when you visited, or that he didn’t contact you sooner. If he likes oyu back as much as you like him he might feel just as anxious as you do, and may overthink the situation too.

      Just let things evolve naturally. Be kind and gentle with yourself!

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  6. Goooooood(happySagittarian)afternoon! (I only wish this resonated with all of the planetary placements in my chart, but for now, let’s just say it does! ^.^)
    So, I was thinking today.. not that that’s not normal for many other days.. I’m usually trapped in my head, but since I had this kind of.. epiphany, and my dearest Cappy played a part in allowing me to come to this realization, I thought I’d share it here. ❀ Ohhhhh, God bless Cappies! and here goes.. !

    So I was thinking that I just have never understood why everyone says Sagittarians don't like to settle down into a stable relationship because they value their freedom. Sure, I'm as Sagittarian as any other Sagittarian, and certainly value frolicking (literally) and freedom, but I've never once thought of that as being a set back to my also wanting a settled family life. So… every time I hear that crazy claim, I always wonder why it never resonates with me.

    It's crazy I should be able to feel so at peace with a super-hardcore grounded sign like Capricorn, but … to tell the truth I've never felt more at home with anyone else. I think some of it has to do with my Cappies patience and tolerance. Of course, we work hard i think to understand one another and see things from the other's point of view, which always makes things interesting, but at the same time, the Cappy sense of live-and-let-live really allows me to thrive in our relationship.

    Now, I don't mean that he is okay with me going out and being with other men, or doing crazy reckless things, but… when I'm with him, I can just.. literally be my genuine self. I don't have to pretend or act or try to meet someone's expectations.. I can simply relax and be me. And if he likes that genuine ME, then he'll choose to be with me.

    So.. my little epiphany came when I realized.. You know.. it's no wonder that those silly sites about Sagittarians never really got it 100% right. I guess they didn't understand that FREEDOM comes when we are accepting of others, letting them be genuine when they are around us. Not pushing our expectations on others. (You can't tell a Saggie what to do and when to do it, anyway!! Or tell them they CAN'T do something if they really want to!!!)
    So, that is how my Cappy set me free.. Because he is giving me the greatest freedom of all. Freedom just to deeply enjoy being me… freedom is not just physical, but emotional and mental, maybe even spiritual. And somehow, his pure, brilliant self has destroyed all of those barriers for me.

    So now, even as a Freedom loving Sagittarius, I can be free AND attached to a partner at the same time. πŸ˜‰ .. Now, if we were going to address the other Saggie relationship pitfall (not being able to stick to one person because you always want to run off and find the next exciting thing!) that's a whole different can of worms. haha. Which is also a much misunderstood Saggie behaviour, I think.

    Anyway.. Thank you Cappies for being wise and wonderful. Haha. This is one Saggie who really enjoys your fishy-goatly ways. πŸ˜‰ bahahahah.

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    • Have you considered having your own blog, I think you’re a natural for it and it’s a great way to share your story, give people the benefits of your life experience πŸ™‚

      It’s interesting that a Capricorn would teach a Sagittarius about freedom, since freedom is kind of a Sag thing rather than a Cappy thing. But then again it kind of makes sense – those who have a talent naturally tend not to notice what they have until someone else who may not have it naturally and had to work hard at getting that talent points it out. We tend to appreciate in others what we seek and they have.

      Acceptance is very liberating, but also hard to do, especially self-acceptance – that’s one hell of a challenge because somehow what should be easy is not easy. The simplest things are often the most complex.

      Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚

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      • Hmmmm….a blog of my own you say? Intriguing proposition… πŸ€”
        Does this mean ill have to make effort to do semi-regular posts? πŸ€”
        Though, reading Your blog is quite inspiring… πŸ€”
        Hmmmm… but perhaps you are right. It might just be a worthy undertaking! πŸ˜†

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        • The thing about blogging is that you can do it however you want to do it. Some bloggers only post once a month, some do it even less, others post every day, some post several times a day every day. Finding your own posting rhythm is part of the self-discovery process which it offers.

          You mentioned learning about self-acceptance. This is a great way to continue that wonderful lesson. You get to see yourself expressed in blog form, and that can be challenging because so many aspects of this medium are a mirror which reflect you back at you and ask you to accept both the good, the bad, the not so sure which one it is, etc. Unleashing the creative self is a journey – which is totally up Sag’s alley πŸ˜‰ and with Saturn in Sag atm it may be a propitious time to explore new structures.

          ps. You can make your blog private at any point, or make certain posts private while sharing others.

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  7. I don’t know why I find CAPRICORNS behavior to be very annoying and selfish. I’m a Libra, we may have bad attitudes and similar attributes to a Capricorn but I always speak my mind especially when I am pissed off! I bet when they need something from you they will come in contact. Why hide or give silent treatment like a little kid. Grow up and communicate. My Capricorn boyfriend always talk about communication and think before you speak but when I accidentally scratched his car he got extremely upset and did not speak to me. This morning no good morning texts like I usually get, I called him and no answer. He hits his car all the time! He owed a lady $400 for smashing her bumper and told me that happened a week after. No one is perfect and it was a total accident. I don’t know wtf to do. 4 year relationship and it gets weird for me at times

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      From the sounds of it this is a fairly straightforward situation – You borrowed his car. You had an accident while using his car. He was upset about it.

      What you don’t mention is how he found out about the accident, how you behaved when he found out about it and got upset, and how you dealt with his being upset at the time.

      He probably values his car even if ‘he hits it all the time’ – it’s his car, he pays for the accidents he has with it – that doesn’t mean anyone else is allowed to treat his car the way he does – especially if his insurance doesn’t cover them or the cost of them having an accident with his car. He let you use his car and probably hoped you would take care of it while using it, drive carefully, and maybe appreciate the fact that he was letting you use it.

      If he had borrowed something of yours which you valued and broke it accidentally you too would probably be upset, and you’d expect him to acknowledge your right to be upset. You’d probably also expect him to apologise and be genuinely sorry that he had broken something which you valued.

      He may have also been upset because he was worried about you. He may have felt responsible for you as you were driving his car when you had the accident. If something more serious had happened he might have seen it as being his fault for lending you his car. You having an accident may have shocked him.

      You seem a bit cavalier about having scratched his car, like it doesn’t matter that you did it and why is he making such a fuss about nothing (it may be nothing to you but it’s something to him, especially if he has to pay for the repairs on his car and someone else’s car if you hit someone else’s car) which is probably not making the situation any better. Even if the scratch can barely be seen – he can see it and it means more to him than it does to you. Since you’re in the wrong here because you’re the one who scratched his car, the least you can do is allow him to be upset regardless of whether you think he should be or not. You seem to want him to forget about it and get over it, be all happy smiley when he doesn’t feel that way and is upset.

      Have you acknowledged his right to be upset. Have you apologised. Was the apology genuine. Or did you say ‘Sorry’ but then add a ‘but’ to your ‘sorry’ where you justified what you did using him as an excuse (well, you hit your car all the time so why are you making a fuss about this, what I’ve done is nowhere near as bad as what you’ve done…) and dismissed his right to be upset (it was an accident and you’re not allowed to be upset with me if I didn’t do it on purpose).

      You’re right ‘no one is perfect’ – and if you are going to use ‘no one is perfect’ to brush off something you did to his property don’t expect him to ‘be perfect’ either, he may in his ‘no one is perfect’ moment decide not to allow you to brush off what you did to his property.

      When we’ve done something which upsets someone else rather than get defensive about it to protect ourselves from consequences we don’t want to deal with and dismiss their side of the story in favour of our side of the story, we empathise with them, because we don’t like it when people do stuff to our stuff and tell us we’re not allowed to get upset about it. Empathising with them allows us to understand what’s going on with them and see their side of the story, and value it as we value our own side of the story.

      Let him have his space to be as he is and to deal with things in his own way. He may be angry with you and he doesn’t want to say things in anger which he doesn’t mean or which would hurt you. You may not care what you say to him when you’re speaking your mind while pissed off, but from what you’ve shared of him this is something which he minds about. He likes to think before he speaks, so let him think before he speaks and understand what his silences are about rather than resent them because you don’t like them.

      Use your Libra powers of finding balance in relationships, see his side of the story, look beyond the perspective you have of him as an annoying, childish, selfish Capricorn… just as no one is perfect, everyone can be annoying, selfish and childish.

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  8. Eeeeeee! *bubble excitedly* So I thought that normally a lot of comments on this thread (even my own), lean toward trying to understand Capricorn odd behaviour πŸ˜‰ that may be involved with someone feeling hurt or confused and the like. And to turn that around, because I’m so excited, I wanted to put a really positive comment. (Because I’m a Sagittarius and being sunny is what we do. ><) , tried to keep my texts positive and maybe insert some funnies sometimes, to get him to laugh. Like my Poem I wrote for him.. "if I was a puppy, i would wag my tail all the time, because I'm so happy to see you. If I was a kitty, I would be silly and playful so that I can make you laugh and smile. If I was a snail,… well I wouldn't do anything, because that's what snails do…" 0.0
    I just wanted him to know I was still thinking about him, even though it was possible he was ghosting me. Though.. strangely, based on other signs from him, I didn't think that was the case.

    So.. after three months of nothing, I got a date with him!!! I was super nervous, albeit excited, because I was angry he didn't text or call all that time, and didn't tell me anything as to what happened. The whole date was a little bit tense at points, because I told him (in a gentle way) how upset I'd been, not hearing from him. I let him know i was angry at that but also wanted to be understanding of his situation, (which for me i think was more funny almost because I express my anger by kissing him with a peck and then i'd huff and blow on him instead of kissing him again. I just huffed a lot and whined about it for a bit, but no big dramatics or fighting. lol) He listened to me, and he told me what had happened in that time with some family troubles, and eventually everything was made up and he left.

    Since then! I have gotten three more dates in a month!! But GUESS what else!?

    My Cappie is pretty reserved with his feelings. Cappie sun, Taurus moon, Libra Rising, Libra Mars and Aquarius Venus… (he still, after a year of knowing one another and dating though much of that time, hasn't said "i love you" But I never press him for it. I just look for his affection in other ways.) HOWEVER.. even though he hasn't told me those words yet, this is what he DID do…
    Usually, when I'm sitting with him and we're talking and starting to be intimate, I'll nuzzle my cheek against his and snuggle into his side, (he's never been a hugger or active snuggler or anything like that; though he will put an arm out for me to cuddle against him).. But.. (sorry if it's TMI) while we were making love later, he started nuzzling my cheek like I do to him! He was copying me with his affection!!!! (and it was blatant nuzzling-snuggling, not the .. "oh i have an itch but my hands are too busy, can you get that for me?" haha.) It was the first time he's ever done something like that. It was soooo adorable. I thought that must be a really good sign, no?

    He has also come to visit my house a couple of times, for the first time ever. So.. I started trying to make some small accommodations for him in my home, too. In the past, we've never been to each other's home.

    Anyway, in the last month and a half, since we starting actively dating and talking again, it has become such a great relationship and really progressing well, I think. He's been so much more open and warm toward me than he was before. All the time, more and more. He's such a wondrous person to me.

    Honestly… I can feel some of the let-up of the stagnant astrological energy, starting to move forward again. Maybe that has a little to do with it, too, but still… I'm just sooooooooo happy right now, and relieved that the stagnancy seems to be ending. Those were some seriously evil retrogrades for me.

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    • Sorry i think my computer ate a little of my post before it posted and i didn’t realize.. sorry first paragraph kind of abruptly changes tune, there. haha

      Like

    • By the way, Upturned.. Do you think it’s also a good sign that he’s chosen to come to visit me in my home a couple of times? In the past he never has, though I didn’t invite him for a long time. But.. maybe.. five or so months ago, I kind of threw the idea out there, but he never responded that it was something he had an interest in. But now, he’s okay with it.

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      • Glad to hear everything is going well between you and your Cap πŸ™‚

        I do think that his visits to your home are a good sign as it shows that he’s comfortable with getting closer to you on your territory, and it also shows that you’re open to letting him in and feel safe with his presence in your personal space. It seems that both of you have relaxed a bit more with each other and don’t feel the need to hold yourselves back as you used to – which is an important phase in a relationship as it’s when we really start to find out who a person is. When people are more relaxed with each other they reveal more about themselves, and begin to share the parts of themselves they normally keep to themselves.

        Best wishes on your future together!

        Like

  9. Dear Ursula,

    I find your blog posts and responses to be incredibly insightful. You also write very well. My issue pertains to a friendship with a Cap female, rather than a relationship issue. I’m female too, with a Libra Sun with a Pisces moon. I’ve been friends with this girl for 3 years now. We have enjoyed a meaningful friendship, where we have both learnt from each other, especially as a result of the complementary differences in our personalities. However, there has also been an adverse pattern in the friendship: namely, out of the blue, she would confront me about something that I did as a friend which hurt her. For example, we would speak a couple of times a week, but she would feel that I’m wasn’t there for her. Her grievances, which either were about me being inconsiderate or not being there for her in some way, would always come as a genuine surprise, because deep down, I knew that I would never dream of hurting her, and feel that I am being attentive to the best of my ability. I tend to suffer from a lack of boundaries in my relationships.The first few times that it happened, I apologised profusely and tried to make improvements, even if I did not agree with most of her grievances. I chalked it up to the difference in personalities between a Cap and a Libra, because sometimes, misunderstandings occur and false assumptions can be made due to differences in processing things. However, now that I have been confronted yet again, I actually feel mad, because I have to keep proving myself, and the ‘confrontation’ would affect me for days and even weeks afterwards. The thing is, I have another Cap friend as well; I helped her out with something recently, and she responded with “Aww, you do love me.” I wanted to respond, “Of course,” but then I didn’t because I felt as though I was responding out of guilt. I am wondering whether Caps feel unloved by Libra…perhaps Libras seem detached or inattentive to a Cap? I am wondering why my friend would not feel cared for, when I do truly care about her welfare. My better half is a Cap too, but things are usually smooth between us. The thing is, as Libra, I sometimes feel that the Caps in my life aren’t forthcoming with the warmth that I would like, but I just accept that people are different, especially thanks to astrology. I am giving my all as a friend, but I feel that my friend expects me to sacrifice and go above and beyond for her all of the time, each time, or she feels as though I don’t care enough about her. It is as if I am being tested, and fall short. I really don’t want my friend to feel abandoned, but at the same time, I am beginning to feel tired of this pattern. Anyways, I’m not sure if you have ever experienced something similar with a Libra, or if you could shed some light on the issue. I am wondering whether there is a tendency for Cap women to have unusually high expectations for friendships, or perhaps I am missing something. I don’t mean to generalise, but am at a loss. Thanks a lot.

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      OMG, you’re surrounded by Capricorns!!! You must have an awful lot of patience because we’re a very difficult sign to get along with πŸ˜‰

      Capricorns, both female and male, do seem to have a tendency to have high expectations of those with whom they choose to engage in relationships – business, friendship or otherwise – this is mainly due to Capricorns having high standards for themselves and expecting of others some of what they demand of themselves. The more aware Capricorns know that they do this and try to tone things down when dealing with others because they usually realise they’re being too demanding and that others usually can’t take the pressure of those kind of demands (frankly even a Capricorn finds their own demanding nature to be a pain in the butt).

      This tendency often comes from a Capricorn’s experience of others being hard on them – Capricorns tend to experience others as being demanding and thus they become demanding of themselves. Because they are demanding of themselves they tend to become demanding of others. The older a Capricorn gets the more they figure out how chill and remove the rod from up their derriere.

      However Capricorns don’t tend to be demanding in the way that your ‘whiny’ (I say whiny because she sounds whiny to me) friend is being demanding – Capricorns do not generally tend to expect anyone to be considerate, in fact they usually assume that people will be inconsiderate. It’s a very cynical sign. Your other friend who was pleasantly surprised that you cared for her and did indeed love her – that’s how Capricorns usually respond to anyone showing consideration towards them. It’s a sign which expects others to be selfish and self-centred – people who are genuinely caring and loving towards Caps always surprise Caps and are deeply appreciated.

      Since you seem to get along really well with the Caps in your life and they seem to love to have you in their life and appreciate your way of being towards them… I would say that the problem in your relationship with the whiny Capricorn isn’t you but her.

      You sounds absolutely lovely.

      You also sound as though you’ve gone out of your way to accommodate this friend and her demands – and nothing you do is ever quite good enough for her. That’s a red flag. She’s got issues which I would say most likely have more to do with her Moon placement/sign/house/aspects than Sun sign. It sounds as though she’s someone who expects others to nurture her but who also can’t get enough nurturing no matter how much she is given. This is her problem and not yours – but she’s made her problem your problem. She expects you to solve something which she has to solve for herself because otherwise she will just continue to complain and never get what’s she’s after. You can’t solve this for her – you’ve tried and gone above and beyond what anyone should expect of anyone else to do for them.

      For a Libra – balance is important in relationships. However Libras tend to swing quite a bit this way and that seeking that sweet spot of balance. Your Pisces Moon (which adds deep sensitivity) will make you swing towards the end of taking away from yourself to give to others until you have nothing left to give but may find yourself in the presence of someone who is still requesting that you keep giving. It’s important for you to pause and ask if the person who is asking something of you is giving to you what they want from you – reciprocity is vital for a Libra (and for everyone in relationships).

      Is this whiny friend who demands endless consideration from you… considerate towards you?

      I would hazard a guess that this person who is good at spotting how inconsiderate everyone is being towards them isn’t particularly considerate of anyone. And when she is being considerate of others she probably demands infinite gratitude of those others and for them to make her one show of consideration last for the rest of their life.

      Bottom line is – if a friend makes you feel bad about yourself more often than they make you feel good about yourself, something is wrong with the friendship picture. This could be something temporary which can be adjusted but if you’ve tried to figure things out and things remain hard to figure out because the other person isn’t cooperating then… why do they prefer things to not be resolved and figured out? And if someone is constantly bringing up ‘crimes’ which you committed against them long after the moment has gone, and they didn’t say anything at the time but now they just can’t shut up about it – is it really worth listening to this?

      Life is hard, short and difficult enough even when everything is going well… do we really need people in our lives who just can’t seem to like us no matter what we do for them? If everything we do and are ‘hurts’ them… maybe it’s time for a Mercury retrograde rethink and review of that relationship.

      You sound great… your whiny friend sounds like a whiny friend. Perhaps her whiny-ness is a temporary glitch caused perhaps by a transit (like a Pluto transit to her Sun – but if this is the case Pluto demands that Cappy figure themselves out and sort their ego out). Perhaps it’s worth sticking things out because the relationship is one which is important to you – why?

      If you do decide to stick it out with her – perhaps next time she does this, and if this is a pattern with her then she’ll do it again, challenge her with something unexpected. She expects you to accept her version of the story, that she is the victim of inconsideration on your part, so turn the tables on her and accuse her of what she is accusing you (mind you, Libra with a Pisces Moon will find this hard to do, especially if transiting Chiron and Neptune are conjuncting your Moon), put her on the spot like she’s putting you on the spot… perhaps she hasn’t realised how much her claims of being hurt are hurting you and hurting your friendship.

      Saturn is transiting Sagittarius – it’s a good time to air your side of the story!

      Best wishes!

      Like

      • Dear Ursula:

        Thank you so much for taking the time out to respond. You brought up a lot of interesting and helpful points that I am going to reflect upon. I care a lot about my friend, and she means a great deal to me. However, I don’t feel that complying with her wishes (in terms of giving her more time), will be helpful for either of us, unless it truly comes from a genuine place.

        As you said very aptly, “Life is hard, short and difficult enough even when everything is going well…” and that is just it: life is hard for everyone, and these situations can make a friendship stressful, rather than a joy. At first, I excused the behaviour, thinking that we had different friendship styles based on the difference in Cap/Libra personalities. However, I am beginning to realise that the real issue is beyond the Sun sign differences, as you said. I will take your advice and see how my side of the story is received, or not received πŸ™‚

        Thanks again for your wise words; and I just wanted to add again that I really like your writing (from both a stylistic and content-based point of view). Best wishes!

        Like

  10. Iam a cappy and i have a deep & serious feelings for my arian girl. I love her but she doesnt , we were good friends since 5 years, we used to talk on phone, & sometimes do video chats on skype ; and suddenly bad thing happened. I was being felt ignored and told her go to hell in anger state.. , This word has ruined everything and that showed me her another face. Although i have apologized to her countless times but she says its over. Since one month I’m trying to regain her back, and she kept insulting me, Although those words were harsh but still i managed to listen them and accepted what she said. I dont want to loose her.I still message her and she replies me such as” i dont care, go to hell, you were never my friend, you have no value for me in my life”, I never seen that side of her .I still believe this is her anger state which is all saying it to me, and i still believe i will melt her heart & get her normal as she was used to be before. Now, the issue is how & when it will happen??

    what if i constantly message her or email her ( though i have been deleted from fb and whatsapp, only viber & sms thingi tools left with me) will i be able to soften her heart?
    Any suggestion?

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      This – “what if i constantly message her or email her” – is not a good idea. This sort of thing may work in films and on TV, in romance novels, but in real life it’s very similar to harassment and stalking. If she has deleted/blocked you from communicating with her on social media, then she does not want you to contact her using other tools which she has not deleted/blocked – doing that might simply get those other tools blocked (unless she can’t block/delete them). She does not want to discuss things with you right now. She does not want to talk with you at this time. Continuing to contact her at this point won’t ‘soften her heart’ but will have the opposite effect.

      The best thing you can do right now is respect her and her decision. She does not want to talk with you, she had made that clear – trying to force the issue will only make her angrier and remind her of why she cut off contact with you.

      Whatever happened which started this problem between the two of you has happened and it obviously has made her very angry. Sun sign Aries once angry can remain angry for a long time. Trying to convince Aries not to be angry once they’re angry could work against you., especially if your efforts cause her to feel that you’re minimising something which is important to her.

      You’ve apologised. That was a good thing to do. But don’t expect an apology to wipe the slate clean.

      Whatever happened between the two of you has changed your relationship. Things won’t go back to normal because normal has changed.

      Step back and let things settle.

      Give her space, time and respect.

      She may mean exactly what she says, in which case learn to accept that things are indeed over even if it hurts – it will hurt as much if not more if you don’t accept it.

      Take a break from communicating with her and see what happens – you might have to wait a long time.

      Best wishes!

      Like

  11. i’ve only had one romantic experience with a capricorn –

    we had a LOT of synastric aspects, all over the place. some really good stuff – my venus conjunct his Asc in aries, his venus conjunct my moon in Aquarius. our charts together made two grand trines (one in fire and one in air). it immediately felt like the cosmos were pushing us together.

    we also had a fixed grand cross in which my saturn in leo squared his mars in taurus and opposed his venus in aquarius (this meant that he had a natal venus/mars square, which i think is worth noting). i suppose it’s also worth noting that i have this configuration in my natal (saturn/leo, mercury/taurus, moon/aquarius, uranus/scorpio, although in my experience astrologers tend to disagree on whether my saturn in leo is really in orb to my moon in aquarius).

    but then my mars in pisces opposed his moon in virgo (his moon was also the apex of a yod to my sun and moon). from what i have read about synastry, mars opposite moon is THE deal-breaking aspect ..

    and of course his sun and mercury conjunction in cap squared my Asc/NN in libra and my sun/desc/SN in aries.

    all of this occurred during the height of the uranus/pluto square of a couple of years ago. with both of us having cardinal axes, we were both hit very hard.

    we also both have venus retrograde. the whole experience felt karmic.

    this was a very powerful combination, but we were just too different, and it ended horribly. i was very badly damaged, and while it has taken me years to get over it, pick up the pieces and try to move forward, i greatly value the experience for what it taught me about myself and where i needed to do some shadow work and where i needed to own my own power.

    i do not hate capricorn as a result. far from. there is so much to admire about the capricorn. cap gets a bad rap, and i feel for that. frankly, i think that aries (the selfish headstrong fool), and libra (the indecisive superficial too afraid to fight) get equally bad raps.

    so would i date a cap again? it would depend. i have cap on my IC and the safety and security that they promise on paper are very attractive to me, but my aries is impatient and my libra demands equality .. so i just don’t know. i would certainly be much more cautious about it. but i do know that i would not immediately discount someone for being a capricorn. maybe just hope they’ve got some prominent libra in their chart πŸ™‚

    thank you for the blog. thank you for pointing out again and again that astrology is much more complex than simple sun signs. of course there is some validity to basic sun sign compatibility, but the story is always so much larger than that ..

    thank you again –

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    • Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚

      I have to admit to having been quite lazy myself when it comes to synastry because it’s complex and sometimes my mind just spaces out when trying to figure things out (and I don’t know my partner’s birth time, neither does he) but when I have checked out how our charts interact it has helped to explain certain aspects of our dynamic. So I do understand why people prefer to stick with just Sun Signs, and they may also not have all the data needed to know more than the Sun sign and if they’ve broken up with someone asking for their birth data may be a bit awkward.

      Sun signs are interesting to explore and can give a guideline, but when it comes to relationships the Moon/Venus/Mars tend to be far more useful. They’re also useful when it comes to understanding our own emotional and passionate natures.

      If you haven’t checked it out already, this is a wonderful book to read – Through the Looking Glass by Richard Idemon. It’s based on transcripts of an astrology course which he gave. His focus was psychological-astrology. He discusses the Moon and aspects to the Moon a lot which I found very insightful and also rather challenging – Moon things often are because they’re connected to our earliest experience of nurturing and emotion.

      I love everything you said and the analysis of your relationship with your Cap (my Pluto in Virgo always delights when someone goes deep). I agree about relationships being about learning about self and other (my Chiron/NN in 7th is pretty much – learn from and about relationships or else).

      Cardinal crosses can be hard, personally and also if they play out in synastry – it’s like all the stuff you’re working on personally becomes embodied by the relationship. Cardinal energy always wants to be in charge and squares and oppositions between Cardinal signs create power conflicts which can put a strain on any supportive aspects.

      One of the things I’ve learned from my Aries friends (never been involved with one romantically) is that Capricorn and Aries are often really good for each other. It’s a bit like a relationship between and old man (Cap) and a young one (Aries) and both of them benefiting from the other’s perspective on life, while also sometimes being really irritated by it. Capricorn’s caution tends to cringe at the daring of Aries, but also admires it greatly. Both signs love meeting someone who is their match and challenging each other, but Aries is better at meeting challenges with flexibility, Capricorn tends to meet them with inflexibility.

      Virgo Moon and Aquarius Moon is a tricky match for nurturing and emotional needs. I have Moon in Virgo and it drives my Mercury in Aquarius nuts. I also have a Pisces/Virgo opp between Moon and Venus, half of you wants to go with the flow while the other half would rather drown than let go and go with the flow. Oppositions are tough from the inside out, but when experienced by other from the outside in they can make you seem confusing – confusion in a relationship tends to wear the ties which bind down.

      As someone with Uranus conjunct Jupiter in Libra (both of which aspect my Merc), I totally get the need for things to be fair and balanced in a relationship. My lust for fairness and balance is one of the reasons I tend to get annoyed if someone only uses Sun signs and uses them to blame what went wrong on the other person’s Sun sign.

      The point you made about being in a relationship with your Capricorn during the Pluto/Uranus square is one which is insightful and fascinating to explore. I’ve noticed that during certain transits I tend to be attracted to people who somehow embody the lesson of the transit for me and attract people for whom I may embody the lesson of their transit for them. I particularly seem to attract people who are going through a major Pluto or Uranus transit – I have both of those in my 1st natally and am sort of comfortable with the type of crazy they create in life so I’m rather good at talking people down from a ledge (although sometimes I’m the one who drove them to the edge).

      I think it’s interesting that you said you’d be more ‘cautious’ about getting involved with a Capricorn – cautiousness in relationships is a very Capricorn thing. Perhaps caution was something that relationship was teaching you. Maybe your Cap was learning to be less cautious?

      It’s an intriguing way of looking at things, especially relationships – I’ve found that astrology when used in a certain manner can explain what mystifies us and what other systems can’t explain.

      Best wishes on your future relationships πŸ™‚

      Like

      • Thank you very much for your thoughtful response, as well as the recommended reading! It looks perfect for me.

        My chart is filled with relationship karma. Asc/NN in Libra/1 directly opposite Sun/Desc/SN in Aries/7. I have Chiron in the 7th as well.

        And my retrograde Venus in Aries/6 is directly opposite my Pluto in Libra/12. It’s the tightest aspect in my chart. This relationship came about just as transiting Uranus and Pluto were directly on top of this natal opposition, and it clearly played out in my life in a very real way. I didn’t really follow astrology until this happened (during which transiting Pluto was also directly trine my natal Mercury in Taurus/8), but it sure sealed the deal for me. There is no doubt within me that astrology is real.

        And yes, you are correct. This experience was (amongst other lessons) definitely about me learning to be more cautious. As for his lessons (if any) : that cannot be my concern and is entirely up to him to determine.

        I do not have the very powerful aspects you have going on in your 1st House (nor do I know that I would want them!), but I would like to think that I can sympathize in some small way. I also have Uranus in the 1st, and with Pluto (trine Moon) close enough to my Asc to make a difference, I seem to call into my life powerful people that teach me/I teach(?) powerful lessons.

        And now Uranus is directly aspecting my Sun/Asc/Desc/NN/SN .. anything could happen πŸ™‚

        I am very grateful to have found this blog – Thank you again

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        • Thank you πŸ™‚

          From my own experience of Chiron in the 7th it = learning lessons from every relationship. The most challenging relationships tend to yield the greatest insights into the self. Astrology definitely helps with figuring stuff out as it offers positive/negative/neutral perspectives on every aspects and position.

          Every person’s chart has powerful aspects, sometimes the most powerful ones are the ones we don’t notice kind of like we don’t tend to notice how powerful we are on a regular basis be we just simply are that way and have always been πŸ˜‰

          Uranus transits to natal positions are crazy awesome!

          Like

  12. HI.. I Enjoyed reading this post and comments

    I am a January cap and My ex is a december Cap. We were together for about a year and he told me he wanted to end the relationship. He said that I didnt give him enough and that I was dishonest. I felt like i didnt and i did not know how to because still grieving the lost of a family member. I was also trying to understand him which was very difficult for me. I always saw the trend that my cap would disappear or i wouldnt see him while we were together. he would always say that he is dealing with a couple things and when would go out for dinner and talk about some of it. But 7 months into our relationship he was going through something and and he told me part of it. He became very cold and i didnt know how to deal with it. He was also planning to move 3 months later. Around that time I felt ignored by him because i felt like he made no time for me and he was m.i.a. I started talking to my ex but it was nothing serious i just wanted someone to talk to since i rarely share stuff with anyone. I saw my ex a couple times during the summer but i never told details about my relationship. After seeing him i realized that it was wrong I stopped responding to his msges. My ex (my bf at the time) realized that that I became cold and we spoke about it and told me that if I was paying attention I would realize that this would be the wrong time to leave his side which made him sad. I didnt tell him that i saw my ex in the summer. Around that time we were good but our relationship was on the rocks. We communicated less I didnt feel loved by him and he was focused on school and other things. I didnt see him often but we still stayed in touch. Because i felt like he didnt care i did things to get a reaction from him like go out and not tell him or tell him after i had gone and that would drive him crazy. Few months later he broke up with me, i knew he thought about this decision really hard because the night before the break up he told me he couldn’t sleep that he was up all night. He came to see me and told me about my ex that i spoke to, although i never told him. he said that i dont listen to him and ask him for stuff and he needed more from me. Although I tried to apologized about everything he told me that I am stupid if I am looking for another relationship and that i should focus on becoming a better person. But lately he has been saying that he doesnt care and there is no more us. 7 months later we have maintained communication and I always checking up on him because i really do love him. But there was one time he pushed me away and said something that was foul. I had a threesome and told him and he said he wanted to see me, it was weird to me but i think he anted to see if i felt the same way about him. When i saw him he kept saying that there was nomore of us and that he didnt care but he wanted to know the details about the 3some. He confuses me at time. I willing to put in work to get my man back because I love him so much. It just seems like he still wants this but that the same time he doesnt. Do you think i should move on from here?

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Only you know the answer to whether you should stick with it or move on, however you might find this article helpful in making a decision – http://trustedpsychicmediums.com/capricorn-star-sign/capricorn-3-signs-it-might-be-time-to-leave-your-relationship/ – it’s some relationship advice for Capricorns.

      Also worth reading is this psychology series on relationship dynamics:

      https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201508/how-end-the-fight-you-cant-remember-why-you-started

      https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201509/the-dynamic-thats-poison-any-couple

      https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201509/intimate-relationship-dynamics-iii

      It’s a long read, but sometimes it’s worth studying up on issues which are affecting you. The more you understand about the underbelly of relationships the less confusing they are even if they’re always complicated and thus a bit on the confusing side.

      This is also worth a look – https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199403/soul-mates – the author studies and writes a lot about relationships, and what we can learn from them. He tends to focus on our perception of relationship, and how our relationship with ourselves affects our relationships with others.

      From the sounds of it, your Cap has already decided that your relationship is over and has said so. He may still be hanging on, but what is he hanging on to and why.

      Him wanting to know about your threesome is odd, questionable, and voyeuristic, and really none of his business since you were not together anymore when you had it – why did you tell him that you’d had a threesome. That’s a rather odd thing to tell an ex.

      He may find you as confusing as you find him.

      There may be chemistry between you, which is to be expected as you got together because you were attracted to each other, but having chemistry between you doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s still a relationship there. It seems as though the communication between you two has become more about recriminations, what’s wrong, what he did wrong/what you did wrong, the problems you have with each other, than it is about being in love, being supportive, and enjoying each others company.

      When the same signs have a relationship – they tend to be as good and as bad as each other. So the good and compatible aspects are extra goo and compatible, you can understand each other without the need to explain yourselves, but you both have the same sort of faults and flaws. Thus when you found him cold, and decided to get in touch with your ex during that time as a way to bring some warmth into your life, your Cap found what you did to be cold and said as much when he found out about your contacting your ex.

      When two Capricorns go ‘cold’ on each other and don’t understand what that ‘coldness’ means in the other person and in themselves, things can get super frigid and icy hot – as in ice-cold anger which keeps nipping away at the heart of the relationship until breaking point is reached.

      If you really love him, rather than the memory of him when things were good between you, then it might be worth having a talk with him to ascertain how he really feels. But the discussion you have needs to be without games, open and honest, and ready to accept the situation as it is rather than as it isn’t. Both of you need to be on the same page about your relationship, a relationship needs two people involved in it and working on it not just one who wants it to work while the other one doesn’t or expects the other person to do all the work to keep you together.

      Best wishes on whatever you decide, take good care of yourself – you deserve to be loved in a way which respects who you are and to love someone whom you respect as they are.

      Like

  13. Hi, Capricorn female typing. Yeah we are cold, and sometimes boring, ( sometimes I feel like I am a 80 year old grandma ) but you just can’t give up after 2 days of trying to know us. πŸ˜‰

    I was in relationship with Capricorn and it was the best feeling in my life. It like I dated my other half. We had so many thing to talk about, because we liked same things, and we had same view of world. And than one day he decided to stop calling me and answering to my calls and msg and I never found why. We never fought, or had any argument. Everything was great, we even had plans for traveling together and etc. I was crushed, it took me a lot of time to accept that he decided to end it and not even explain why. I still have that question inside my head. I tortured myself with scenarios what maybe happened and the truth is I will never know. Do you maybe have some perspective why would Capricorn ( we know that Capricorns respect people, relationship etc ) do something like that? Just leave, no explanations.

    And, I really think that no matter what sign you have to let people to open to you, get to know them, not just wait, TRY to know them. From my own experience, I appreciate people who try to know me, even if I am thought to handle. πŸ™‚

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    • Hi all! *hugs* My Cappie has hardly talked to me either, for the lat three months.. and the two dates before that was like pulling teeth even though i’d been gone overseas for five months and he said as soon as i got back he wanted to travel together etc etc. errrrrrrrrggg.. >< I did not appreciate him abandoning all the ideas of dates when I got back for the time being but.. can't be helped.
      Anyway, right now, he's been super withdrawn too.. no contact at all,.. reading through everyone's recent posts here though, I'm wondering if the Mercury retrograde and other retrogrades, has anything to do with it? I know my own energy has felt really F*ing jacked up lately. More than ever in my entire life (probably bc Saturn's in my sign at present). So.. *sigh* … I finally feel like this month the energy is letting things flow forward again, but still waiting on him to make a move. I am hoping it's just all this funny planetary movements that's making the withdrawal for so long???.
      From what I hear though, the 17th, 20th, 21st and 29th of June are supposed to be notable astrological days and will help Capricorns move forward and take more action toward the end of the month? I hope so. I feel like I'm dying when my cappie isn't in my life. 😦

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      • Hi Jacquelyn, sorry to hear that your Cappy is being withdrawn recently ❀

        Astrologically there's a lot going on transit-wise which is affecting everyone. One of the blogs I like to follow for discussions on the personal effects of transits – is http://www.elsaelsa.com/ – the community there is very lively and they share insights into love, life, and what's going on with them and their relationships atm, and the astrological perspective on that.

        With Pluto taking its time moving through Capricorn – all Caps are a bit more intense than usual (and those who aren't Caps, any area of their chart under the influence of Cap will be more intense than usual). If Pluto is hitting anything in a Cap's chart (like their Sun) then periods of them disappearing into their Underworld are to be expected. Which doesn't make it easy for those who are in a relationship with them.

        A rule of thumb with Capricorn is – if they have withdrawn from you, chances are it's probably not due to you but due to something like their career needing more of their attention. Capricorns don't really do multi-tasking. Their focus is either/or.

        According to a couple of astrologers I follow – Mars retro in Scorpio has been stirring up all sorts of deep dark issues, and since it's revisiting where it has already been – old issues, perhaps ones which seemed solved and done, resurface once again.

        Also worth keeping in mind is that your Cap may perceive you as having changed since your adventure abroad – maybe he's feeling insecure abotu your relationship or maybe the time apart refocused his attention on things he'd been ignoring while he was caught up in the loveliness of being with you. Maybe he feels that he let responsibilities slide and he's trying to be more responsible – Capricorns can get a bit weird when they fall in love, they sometimes do the exact opposite of what you'd expect someone in love to do.

        Best wishes, and don't let t-Saturn in Sag snuff out your Jupiterian light πŸ™‚

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        • Hi upturned, and others!
          It’s a nice breath of fresh air coming here to read posts. It’s refreshing because it puts things in perspective a little and reminds me that my cappie isn’t the only with seemingly unexplained withdrawals πŸ˜‰ Sigh…withdrawals hurt.. but i can’t live without my most precious Capricorn. My connection with him is deeper than i every thought love and attraction could go. I was married to someone who was like my best friend and we were together for ten years before we divorced. Now I have my Capricorn, and of the millions of people i could have passed by, talked to, interacted with, had become part of my life… he is the only one who has opened my eyes to a beautiful and exciting new world, like I’ve never experienced before. Is that strange coming from a Saggie, that a Cappie would teach her how to live a more exciting life in ways? πŸ™‚
          But.. I don’t care how long it takes, until the day he tells me he does not want me in his life.. I will wait for him. Even if it’s difficult and painful at times. I fear a life without him more than I fear years of waiting. And .. I think it stands true that if something is worthy, it is also something we should work hard for. I think my Cappie is a person I’m willing to work hard for.. go through difficulty for, because in the end, if we are together, it will be worth it.

          I found a quote recently for my personality type.. INFJ, that i think speaks very truthfully about the situation, and about my own past experience..

          “Maybe I care too much, but it’s only because I believe that everyone deserves to be loved fiercely and passionately, and I refuse to be the person who gives up on someone who needs it the most. Why? some people might ask; it’s because I know what it feels like to be given up on, and no one should ever feel that way.”

          Anyway.. no matter if doubts like to creep in, because honestly he could be ghosting me because he wants to break up, or maybe dating someone else or… maybe it is just other real life drama taking him away from any focus on our relationship… I don’t know for sure, because he won’t say anything about his reasons…

          However.. I keep faith in him, because he still helps me sometimes with my homework when i go to visit him at his restaurant, and he laughs at my silly mistakes, and then if i text him periodically and say anything like “hey this is important, please read”.. he will read it almost immediately.. whereas other texts sometimes take a few days for him to look at.
          He doesn’t respond to texts from me anymore though, and basically told me he won’t date for a little while, in his own round about way..

          I finally did text him to say that I had been giving him more space, and feel confused about everything, thinking i deserve to know what’s come between us, so that if there’s a way we can continue the relationship in a way that’s better for his life at this time, we can do that.. but no response. But.. I’ve told him i’ll be patient and give him his space/ time.. and finally then, also told him I won’t go to see him anymore, because i don’t want him to feel pressured by that. I usually would go see him maybe once every one to two weeks.

          The last time we dated we were so happy and he was so warm and open and emotional with me. he really opened up to me and it was a great time. after that .. just silence.. for three months now.. .. all of that said.. i don’t think he’s trying to actually break up with me.. more like, hopefully just other things going on. Because.. he still laughs at my silliness, and will almost immediately read urgent messages from me. I think if he didn’t care about me anymore, he wouldn’t do those things. So… I just.. REALLY need to back off and give him more time i think. Then, hopefully when he’s ready (sooner than later !! i hope) he’ll come back to me and start dating again.
          Since then, i’ve only texted him a couple of times, to show him I was practicing cooking some of his favourite foods, so I took pictures and sent those.

          I think.. if he did ever break up with me, I would grieve as though he had died. Even letting my thoughts visit that possibility, i have broken down and cried for hours, even considering it….
          My feelings for him aren’t normal. I feel things very deeply.. I’m highly sensitive to other ppls energies and moods, and process things very internally emotionally, initially, in a very deep way. But.. i have never met anyone like him.. no one else has ever penetrated my heart and the essence of my very soul in such a way. It is beyond words to describe. (And I’m a writer!!) My depth of connection with him is almost beyond my own comprehension.. perhaps it is more of a divine thing.. so complete and full of divine purpose between us that only becoming transcended to a higher spirituality can we come to a full and true understanding?

          Does that all seem strange? Does it seem surreal? is it all kind of dumb sounding? :/ sigh.. but I wonder if he realized that, too.. and coming to that realization scared him.. made him doubt the probability of such a thing.. and now he’s still also processing it all.. I don’t know.

          Also.. before, he thought he was in a better place financially, able to buy a house and all.. but after I returned from overseas, he said he has to put off buying the house and thinking about starting another business.. so.. maybe that has something to do with it too. But.. i know he’s making plans to travel with some of his friends soon,so… he should have time to date, too. Though, I don’t think he’s really done much with his friends for a while, either.
          Anyway, sorry for rambling. I feel like if i ramble a little here, things will come out, and with your insights, things may come to light.. or help me regain confidence and renewed strength to keep holding on, and continue to wait for him. It’s tiresome, the waiting.

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          • Hello just want give you a hug and kiss. Keep hanging on. It’s okay to ramble. We all need it from time to time to help us clear our head. It helps to see that you are not the only one. We are all ΓΌber sensitive at the moment. Since I got together with my Cappi I started to read about astrology in a deeper aspect not my daily horoscope kind of but planets move in your house etc. I am a Leo third deacon. Mars when in retrograde it points the energy introvert and that Mars is in Scorpio it makes it even worse and more intensified. Scorpio is a passionate and dark sign, that might not helping as well, like you have just said Capricorns don’t move from past experience easily and may be the energy at the moment is intensifying this going deep in dark places within. Waiting for someone while not knowing what they’re going through is not not easy too and sometimes trusting a relationship like this ones is not eas. So yes it helps to ramble and to read other stories that are similar to yours and it helps when someone writes back telling you to trust the relationship. I too am more afraid to lose my Cappi and the idea of not being able to be friends make me cry and squeeze my heart. He as well touched me in a deep way than any one did. So I hope things will improve soon and that your Cappi will come out of his retreat and communicate. Xxx

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          • Withdrawals, separation, distance – these are not always ‘bad’ for a relationship, sometimes they are very ‘good’ for them.

            “But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
            And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

            Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
            Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” – Kahlil Gibran

            An interesting article about separateness in relationships which I came across while doing a quick search for the Kahlil Gibran quote – https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201202/love-lessons-1-let-there-be-space-in-your-togetherness

            Capricorns withdraw for several reasons. One of which is when they feel ‘smothered’ by someone else’s emotions, needs, desires, passion – what a Capricorn considers ‘smothering’ may not be smothering at all or not perceived that way by other signs, so it can be confusing because from the outside looking in the withdrawal of a Capricorn doesn’t make sense.

            The warmer more emotionally expressive signs when in love want to talk to and be with, spend all their time with, their loved one – if that loved one is a Capricorn they may find that the more they want to spend time with their Capricorn, the less the Capricorn wants to spend time with them. The more they want to communicate with their Capricorn, the less the Capricorn wants to communicate. It’s not that the Capricorn doesn’t appreciate being loved, it’s just that for a Capricorn love can sometimes feel too demanding, and can tip over from being pleasurable to being a chore.

            The Goat likes to climb mountains and often ends up perched in places where no other creature can reach.

            Capricorn likes its solitude. It is the introvert who loves being introverted. And if you try to reach them when they’ve withdrawn, they may experience that as an invasion of privacy and shore up their defenses.

            We’re an intensely difficult sign to love if you want to love us in a full on romance novel kind of manner.

            The Remains of the Day is probably one of the best examples of how a Capricorn loves. Deeply, loyally, from a distance.

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        • ohhh, Also, I was going to reply to your previous response to my post.

          Yeah, the Mars retrograde is a big one, too. And cappies do have a hard time letting go of the past and moving on from it, so if it’s resurfacing at all, he may be having emotional turmoil over things from that? Letting it transform into all those logical capricorn thoughts, having his head full of all kinds of things.

          Which somehow reminds me.. I was watching an astrological tarot reading for my sign for last month.. they were all crappy, but true. hahaha. But there was one that the reader, when she was done with it, twisted the end of the interpretation to something very interesting, which i kind of felt may have been true for me and my SO perhaps.. she said something along the lines of “if you two stay together, you will have to work very hard and go through a lot..a lot of pain to overcome whatever’s happening. It will almost be like going through a death, before you can be reborn to start over together. But if you do, you will have your new beginning and be stronger, and you will be well-off. But… staying with this man right now.. will be very very very difficult.”

          I thought that was interesting since my Venus and Pluto are both in Scorpio and Scorpio energy is so strong in me. It rears it’s head constantly with my man in the picture… , and in a sense, i think that’s why i’m completely okay with suffering a ‘death’ to be with him, because i know we’ll be reborn. I’m not afraid of that. It hurts, but after the pain, the euphoria of rebirth is a victory to be all the more reveled in.

          I thank you for the insights again on Cappies.. I think i can understand better the more i spend time with my BF, that cappies don’t do multitasking haha. πŸ™‚ I’m so happy with him. He’s a brilliant and wonderful and warm person.. I’ve never known a person with so many interesting layers, and so uniquely compatible with me, since we compliment one another so well.

          I will certainly go visit that site you shared, and enjoy reading through it. Thank you.

          Uhm.. I guess that’s all for now. < uhhhhhhhg.

          #thestruggleisreal

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        • oh.. and before anyone says anything about me being crazy for (naively) waiting on my Cappie.. i’ll just say my personality type is INFJ.. I see things in people, have a intimate insight into people, their behaviour, their psyche, and so reading people is typically an easy task that is second nature. Because I’m able to see things in my boyfriend with that kind of insight, I know he’s worth waiting for. And I’ve learned to trust that intuitive insight more than anything else, because it’s usually correct.

          I used to not be able to read him well. He’s the only person i’ve EVER truly had difficulty reading. Most people i can see through within a matter of seconds or minutes.. it took me weeeeks to really see into my boyfriend very well. It was insanely frustrating. lol. Because i never have that problem. But.. for that reason, I can be myself around him.. because I can’t easily read him in order to gauge how I, myself, should in turn react. It’s an odd predicament for a chameleon. (not knowing what color to change because you can’t read your surroundings). That’s my survival tactic, how i handle my relationships, yet he’s the only person in my entire life I have never been able to use that tactic on.

          Anyway, πŸ™‚ THat’s how I know he’s worth waiting for. I can’t always read him well, still,… but recently I can see into him more deeply. And i’ve always been able to feel his energy, and it’s a very good energy. So.. I have to trust in that.

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          • Be careful about trying to read or see into a Capricorn – we tend to know when people are doing that because Capricorn does that too and therefore recognises the tactic in others. That can play out in several ways depending on the scenario.

            For me personally I prefer it when people don’t try to change themselves to suit me. When people ‘read’ me they usually get me wrong, and then they end up assigning to me thoughts and feelings which I’m not having, thus complicating something simple.

            Capricorns are far simpler than they may appear (that simplicity often gets labeled as ‘boring’), and have a soft spot for simplicity (we tend to love Spartan decor).

            My guess is your Capricorn prefers it when you can’t read him and can’t change your colour for him because he likes seeing you in your natural colour. He doesn’t want you to change your colour to match his colour. He wants you as you are not the modified for others version of you. He doesn’t want you to adapt yourself to suit what you think he’s thinking and what you feel he’s feeling. What he admires and respects about you is that you’re you, wild, free, untameable.

            You should re-read your earlier comments about your relationship to remind yourself of the aspects of your relationship story which you may have forgotten now that things have taken the turn that they have – https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2014/09/07/do-you-have-relationship-problems-with-a-capricorn/comment-page-2/#comment-19382 – it usually helps to remind yourself of what brought you together, what made you click, when separations happen and the clicks begin to happen less regularly.

            INFJ’s have to remember not to lose themselves in others – perhaps that’s part of the reason for this time of withdrawal, it’s the universe giving you some time to re-connect with yourself. To know who you are when you’re not a part of him.

            Do you know his MBTI?

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    • Hi there, fellow female Capricorn typing, thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      I’ve also felt that 80 yr old grandma feeling, I feel it less now that I’m older than I did when I was younger, I’ve grown increasingly immature, less serious, less prone to the ‘cold and boring’ (which is something we often do in reaction to life being typical, predictable, a killjoy, bringing another disappointment or another dull task to deal with), so those rumours about Capricorns aging backwards seem to be true.

      Capricorns tend to be difficult to know for many reasons, one of the more common ones is because we often assume that others don’t really want to get to know us, what they want is for us to be whoever they’ve decided that we are. We assume that because it’s often the case. Other people tend to be more interested in you getting to know them than they are in them getting to know you – they want you to make the effort with them but they’re not so keen on making a similar effort with you. It’s a human thing. People will ask you what your favourite colour is not because they’re interested in what your favourite colour is but because they want to tell you what their favourite colour is and want you to find that fascinating because they find it fascinating, they’ll get upset with you if you don’t find it as interesting as they do and may fail to connect the dots – they expect you to find their fav colour interesting yet they find your fav colour disinteresting.

      We’re prone to being cynical and skeptical, so we keep our distance, remain aloof, wait for someone to show us that they’re interested in us for us rather than for what they want from us. That can come across to others as us not being interested in them or as us not being interesting, neither of which are things which are going to inspire others to get to know us.

      Being a Cap often means we’re reserved in relationships (at least on the surface, underneath a raging inferno is sometimes burning). We sometimes go ‘cold’ on others when we’re caught up in some inner turmoil. We often distance ourselves when we’re in pain, going through a trauma, trying to figure out a personal issue – we don’t find it easy to share our upsets, pain, frustrations and insecurities with others.

      Thus when your Cap suddenly stopped calling rather than confronting him about wtf is going on you most probably retreated into silence (in some ways copying what he was doing). Had you confronted him, he probably would have said that ‘everything’s fine’ even if nothing was fine.

      Two Capricorns can be very compatible due to a similarity of personal style, however compatibility due to similarities of style means that the ‘negative’ aspects of personal style are also similar. It’s great when the positives meet, not so great when the negatives meet. A Capricorn who has gone silent when in a relationship with another Capricorn is most likely to meet an equal stony silence in response. Neither Capricorn wants to be the one to break the silence so silence is all that remains.

      If you do a search about – Capricorn silent treatment – you will find loads of results and discussions about it in astrology forums. Sometimes you’ll even find Capricorns trying to explain their silences to others. But we can be just as mystified about why our sign does that as others are. It’s just something we do and it is very hard to not do it. It’s our retreat, our haven.

      More often than not, when someone goes silent on you it’s about them and not you. Something you said or did may have contributed to it, but it’s still more about them and whatever is going on inside of them than it is about you and what went on between the two of you.

      Astrologically all Capricorns are feeling the intense heat brought on by having Pluto transiting our sign (and Uranus squaring it from Aries). We’re all more intense than usual, and more prone to being ‘Plutonic’ = suddenly disappearing into our own Underworld, and not returning from it for months at a time, maybe longer.

      It sounds as though he was planning some wonderful escape from responsibilities with you, and something may have happened in his personal life (the one he kept secret/separate from you) which thwarted his plans, and rather than telling you about this, he decided to go into hiding. He may have been too embarrassed to admit that he couldn’t fulfill his promises, or perhaps he’s upset that he wasn’t able to be for you who he had claimed that he was.

      Often how we feel about what someone has done to us gives us an insight into how they’re feeling and the feeling which caused them to do what they did to us. If you felt ‘crushed’ by his behaviour, chances are that something or someone in his life (maybe himself) made him feel ‘crushed’ and he passed the pain on to you because his behaviour was reacting to his own pain, expressing it through micro-aggressions.

      When someone ‘just leaves, no explanations’ – it usually means they’re suffering from a disappointment. Maybe they were pretending to be who they were not (not necessarily deliberately or with deceptive intent), living out their dream self with you, caught up in the possibilities they hope and long for, but then ‘BLAM!’ life dealt them a blow and they just didn’t want to face you because you represent their dream and now you represent the bursting of that dream bubble.

      He wanted to go traveling with you – this is probably a passionate dream for him – and something like financial restrictions brought that dream to an end and he just couldn’t handle it, he retreated and is now in hiding.

      If you haven’t ask him directly about what happened – which really is the quickest way to get an answer or get information to fill in the blanks – you can probably find the answer in his life, in what you know of his life before he met you, in his other relationships, in his work, in his behaviour before the silence. If you got to know him really well the clues to what he did will be there. Has he done it before, did he speak to you about having done it before, did he confide in you that he does this and why he does it.

      Or you could use yourself as a template – what would make you ‘leave without an explanation’? – this tactic can be a bit hit and miss because you’re you and he’s him, but all humans have similarities.

      Men are sometimes afraid of giving explanations to women when they’re ending a relationship because they don’t want to deal with the ’emotional’ response and reaction which they think a woman will have.

      If nothing happened between you, no incident occurred to explain his sudden disappearance, no explanation can be found in your last interaction, then something occurred in his personal life, something which he does not want to talk about with you. Maybe one of his friends knows, you could ask one of them, or maybe he hasn’t spoken to them either. Is he just being silent with you or has he done this with everyone in his social circle.

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      • Hello thank you for explaining how Capricorns react when they have a lot on their hands. You say that you think that people aren’t really want to know you or don’t want to make an effort to get to know you, which is not true in my case, I really care about the Capricorn in my life and it hurts me so much that he is going silence. I know that he has a lot to deal with, his father illness, work, etc. I wrote to him saying that I would like to hear from him and that a short message will do and that I care about him . But he has not wrote back yet. That is more than a week now. I’m not sure what to do. Should I wait a bit longer and give him his space to deal with his issues. Or should I text him asking how is he doing. Should I give him another week and see what will happen. It is really difficult with Capricorns , you don’t know what to do. how to help. Sometimes they even make it more difficult for them and people that care about them. They as will don’t know how to reach a balance between responsibilities, duties and doing things that will make them happy. That reflects on those in their life and make them appear dul, which isn’t true. Capricorns are very interesting people with a dry sense of humour. I really don’t want to lose his friendship and I already told him that and he smiled and said that it would not happen. He did it before and when I asked him what was going on he said he said he was busy. That was when I was still working in the same company and saw him but now it’s more difficult because I’m not working there and I didn’t see him for a month now since I left work. I’m very loyal and when I choose to have a friend I will never let them down but it makes it more sad when people are not open with you.
        I gave him a ticket for a concert in Kew Garden which is coming up on the 15/07. I’m afraid that he might not come though it is one of his favourite artists. I was going to wait until near the time and remind him with it, if I don’t hear from him beforehand.
        I sometimes I wish I could just forget him and move on, but I really care a lot about him and enjoy his company. We have a lot in common and he brings some thing good in me. He kind of makes me challenge myself in a good way. He said several times that he enjoys my company too.
        I just can’t understand the way he is acting. There was nothing in his last message to indicate that I did or say anything to upset him. It said that he would talk to me tomorrow but that was more than a week ago.
        What would you do if you were in my shoes.

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        • When in doubt keep it simple and try to avoid making something complicated (or more complicated than it is), especially in relationships.

          If the last time he went silent and didn’t contact you was due to him being busy – then it’s probably the same scenario this time. When he gets busy he gets so caught up in his business that he goes silent. The difference this time is – he’s explained the reason behind his silence the last time to you and he’ll expect you to now know that’s something he does and not something you need to take personally or worry about.

          Since you know that he has a lot going on at work, and he’s also dealing with his father being ill, this will have a lot of bearing on where his head and heart are at, and he may be focused on his work and his father’s health, worried about that, may lose track of time. He may want to text, call, get in touch with you but he just doesn’t have the time, or at least the time to do it in the way that he would like to do it. When he does have time he may just not feel like socialising, even with those close to him.

          If he’s said to you that he loves your company, that you won’t lose him as a friend – then trust that he means it. A good relationship requires trust, and that includes trusting the relationship will last even when you’re apart and aren’t in touch.

          If you want to text him or make contact without seeming like you’re bothering him when he’s busy, etc, if you want to give him space and yet not give him so much space that he forgets about you (which he won’t, but sometimes it can feel as though someone has), then what about just sending him something fun or funny, like a snapchat, as a way to say – Hi, I’m here, thinking of you – without it appearing as though you need anything in return.

          Since you know him well, you know what makes him smile, laugh, makes his heart beat a little faster, so take a pic on your phone and send it with a ‘reminded me of you’ or ‘thought you might find this amusing’ note.

          If you’re worried he’ll forget about Kew, then you could remind him in a lighthearted manner, either by sending him a clip of his favourite artist or a pic of something related to the artist with a note like ‘looking forward to Kew!’. Take a selfie of you in a posh hat sipping tea stirring the tea with a flower or something like that and maybe use a lyric of his favourite song with it.

          Keep it light, friendly, fun. Don’t expect a reply and don’t worry if he doesn’t reply. Act as if your relationship is fine, because there isn’t any reason to think that it’s not other than his silence, but he’s been silent before and things were fine after that so this is something he does and it’s not a reflection of how he feels about you or the status of your relationship. His silences = he’s caught up in whatever he’s doing.

          Avoid turning this into an issue, a relationship drama – Capricorns and men tend to hate that kind of thing. And from everything you’ve said that’s not something you do which may be something he really likes about you. He may well think that you understand his silences and that you’ll be there when he’s ready to come out of it.

          Send him something to smile about, if he’s silent because he’s serious then a ray of sunshine will be something he’ll appreciate. Don’t worry if he doesn’t answer – wait and see πŸ™‚

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          • Thank you for taking time to reply and for the advice. I agree totally with you. I shouldn’t be a drama queen. I have to trust that he wants to stay a friend and stop worrying. I’m a bit all over the place right now. So emotional, anxious about several things. Can’t concentrate. Weepy. I think it’s the full moon.😊
            Happy summer solstice and thanks again.

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            • It’s normal to feel insecure sometimes about relationships, they can be confusing and cause all sorts of doubts to surface. If we’re feeling sensitive, going through an emotional period then things get magnified. Not hearing from someone can cause all our buried concerns about ourselves to come rising to the surface, a bit like ghosts which haunt us, and we may end up assuming the worst when there’s nothing to worry about.

              When feeling emotional and anxious, scattered in thought and feeling – give yourself a time out to centre and ground yourself.

              Other people don’t tend to think or feel even half of what we think they’re thinking and feeling about us, more often than not they’re like we are and are worrying about what we’re thinking and feeling about them. πŸ™‚

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      • Thank you so much for this. You hit few spots in my head and heart. It really means so much to me. I haven’t really shared with people how I felt because it wasn’t long relationship so even when I said I miss him, and that he hurt me all my friends thought that I am overreacting. I didn’t share with them much. So I am going to share little bit more.

        I actually met him thru our mutual friend, and she told me that he came out of relationship 2 months before all this happened and that that girl hurt him. She told me to be nice with him, and not hurt him. And look how it ended, he hurt me. So maybe you are right, maybe he had some problems with his previous relationship and he brought them into ours.

        Of course I tried to find out what happened. I called him, texted. And then when I realized that he is not going to answer I send him msg where I typed that I am hurt by his behavior. How immature he acted. If he had problem we should talked about it and try to solve it. I told him how he ended up like a child. And of course he didn’t answer. After that I asked our mutual friend if she can find out more. She talked to him, told him how bad way to end relationship that was, and all he said was yeah, I know, but I just couldn’t talked about that. So I never really found out what happened in his head. As for money, his dad has some business and he was trying to pull him into that. I know he was doing a lot of meetings and contracts, and I was totally supportive of that.

        It’s been almost a year since all of that happened and we saw each other at birthday of that mutual friend. It was very awkward since he was avoiding me before that when all that group of friends went out. We just shake hands, said hi to each other. He was very nervous, and I was holding myself of not asking him wtf was in your head that day. He was so nervous that he said that he has to leave and left after 1h.

        Btw he has a girlfriend more than half a year now, and they will be spending summer together this year at some beach with our mutual friend and rest of the group. So he can be in relationship, it’s not about that. Aldo I ask myself now when I am typing. That is long distance relationship, and that relationship that he got hurt in was also long distance relationship. So, maybe I just live to close to him. I don’t even know.

        I know how I am as a Capricorn, I need time sometimes. I like to be by myself sometimes, so when I see another Capricorn I kinda act around that person how I would like that someone act around me. As of getting younger as we get older. I am kinda scared of that. What if I loose control when I am 35 just because I haven’t lost in know when I am young?

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        • It sounds as though his hurt was like a cloud hanging over your relationship, with you having to be careful and considerate towards him, while he could behave as he pleased because he was injured and everyone else was taking care of him. Sometimes that can work, but usually it ends up being a frustrating situation as everyone gets stuck in their respective roles.

          This is an interesting article for Capricorns – http://trustedpsychicmediums.com/capricorn-star-sign/capricorn-3-signs-it-might-be-time-to-leave-your-relationship/ – about how to assess whether to stay or go when a relationship isn’t working out.

          When a Capricorn commits they tend to stick it out through the thick and thin of a relationship unless they’re what is known as an ‘immature Capricorn’ who is a Capricorn that shirks the responsibilities which come with a Saturn-ruled sign. It sounds a bit like he’s the sort of person who is looking for other people to take on his responsibilities for him, to take care of him so he doesn’t have to take care of himself, to be the adult so he can remain a child. It’s a bit as though he’s looking for a ‘mother’ rather than a ‘lover’.

          Your mutual friend’s behaviour when she introduced you, what she told you about him, her instructions for you to be careful and not hurt him because he’d been hurt – that’s someone playing the role of ‘mother’. I wonder, did she tell him to be careful and not hurt you too before introducing you. When you later told her how he’d behaved, yet again she seems to have played ‘mother’ in telling him off for his behaviour, and I bet she was lenient and understanding towards him about it.

          It’s worth reviewing the whole story and making note of things which you liked about the relationship and things which you didn’t like, keeping an eye out for all those details which hindsight often shows us. There’s always something to learn from our relationships, about ourselves, about what we seek in love, about what we need and what we don’t need.

          You could also check out your natal chart and see what transits were going on at the time – that can be very insightful.

          Take good care of yourself, you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t hurt you and if they do they seek to make amends rather than run away πŸ™‚

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          • Thank you for answering to me πŸ™‚

            Our mutual friend is my friend for 20 years and his for 5. So she knows us both. She didn’t tell him anything about me as I know. We were just hanging out one night totally on accident. I met him for the first time that night. I said my name, he said his, we shake our hands and I was blown away. Nothing like that ever happened to me. It’s like something hit me. I was attracted to him instantly. We started flirting little bit. But that was it. My friend was like, wow what is happening, what is with the sparks? And I said something like, nothing we were just talking. I was thinking about him every single day for a week, and then his friends and my friend somehow ended up at the same club week after we met. He was all over me whole night, I couldn’t resist him, and when I said that we will be going home, he just pulled me and kissed me in front of everybody. I was really surprised but the truth is he swipe me of my feet that night. I never been in relationship like that one. He was so understanding, kind, spontaneous. I was studying then and had exams he understood that, he supported me. That was so nice to experience since my ex was not understanding about my studying. So, I had nothing that I didn’t like about him. I met his friends, they were so open to hang out with me, it was great.

            After all of that when I told my friend what he done, I told her that she made mistake for telling me to be careful not to hurt him when in the end he hurt me, and the only thing she said was something like, yeah he is a kid. So yeah, he is immature. But it is so weird that someone can be so mature for some things and so immature for others.

            It’s hard for me to let go. He kind of set high standard. I’ve been on few dates since all of this, with some good guys, but I can tell that I am looking for him in them. I had a crisis when one of my dates had the same name as him. I started panicking. I can tell I am better now, but since I listen about him occasionally from our friend it’s kind of hard to totally put him out of my life.

            Thanks again, you’re very kind. It really helped me to share with someone and see other opinions.

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            • Your friend sounds like a very good one πŸ™‚

              I read an interesting astrology post last night – http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/the-man-you-date-before-you-meet-the-one – which discussed the great loves we have before we meet the person we actually marry (or commit to for life). The post and the discussion in the comments was thought-provoking and might help you with where you are now.

              This guy obviously had a lot of very good points, but also some not so good points for you. He set a high standard, but he also highlighted things which you don’t want too. Maybe the relationship with him is a way for you to see what it is you’re looking for in a long relationship. What your heart desires, as well as what it doesn’t desire. What you need and don’t need.

              We never forget the people we love, and we shouldn’t forget them, they teach us about love, about ourselves and about others. Just because the relationship ends doesn’t mean that they cease to have a place in our hearts – hearts are very big places.

              You’re going to be fine, the pain will ease and this experience will all make sense one day. For now just be gentle with yourself ❀

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  14. Capricorns… Love them or leave them… All else is madness. They are not for me, better suited for others. Doesn’t mean I think they are bad or sociopathic… I just don’t have the same values as most caps and they are not well rounded enough for me… Limited hobbies and interest… Rigid and unchanging… Not very open minded… Boring. Just not for me. Was married to one 7 years… Most boring years of my life… Yawn

    Aquarius queen

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  15. This page was really interesting ,

    My capricon ex (girl) recently broke up with me due to personal problems and because she wasnt feeling it a 100 percent anymore since than i been depressed and wet just kept fighting and fighting mostly because of me.
    Everytime we started speaking again after months it wouldn’t take long till i would start another argument because i was hurt about her hooking up with other people .
    I feel like i have pushed her away for good cuz whenever we speak on social media she just seems uninterested in talking and when I see her in person she just shows me the coled shoulder. I been apologizing but that didn’t help me at all.
    I’m really scared i have lost her for good because if i cant be with her i atleast want her in my life as a good friend .
    What can i do?
    Though i do wonder sometimes if she still had feelings for me because i do miss her.
    She always claims shes over me , could it be?
    I just really want her to be a part of my life

    Like

    • Are you really emotionally ready to be her friend and not make things ackward. You never stated why it is important for her to be your friend. It may be your ego that is clouding your judgement and the challenge that lies ahead. You can be her friend without her confirming your position or giving you validation. If that is your true agenda it should not be hard to start a friendship just like you have with the rest of your friends. Good luck either way. But be honest with yourself on what you are seeking.

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      You didn’t mention what Sun sign you are.

      When using astrology to understand a relationship, including when it goes wrong, it’s usually a good idea to look beyond the Sun sign at the signs of the Moon, Venus and Mars of both people involved in the relationship.

      It’s also quite a good idea to keep an eye on transits. There are a lot of difficult and challenging transits going on at the moment and these could affect relationships. And Pluto is in Capricorn, so Capricorns are being more intense (and Scorpio-like) than usual during this transit which will last for many years.

      Using just her Sun sign – If a Capricorn tells you it’s over between you, they usually mean what they’re saying, and trying to get them to change their mind is a bit like trying to move a mountain.

      Capricorns tend to take ages before they get involved with someone on a deeper level, if they do and you hurt them (even if it’s partly their fault) that hurt will take another age before they get over it. What went on between you as lovers will be something which will affect any friendship you have.

      If she was hurt by you, she will hurt for a long time but may pretend that she’s not hurting. You won’t necessarily see obvious signs of her being hurt (depends very much on other astrological aspects and placements in her natal chart), but you will notice it in small and subtle things. The cold shoulder is usually used when a Capricorn is hurt, it’s a protective mechanism for coping with a heart that is in pain.

      If you were very good friends before you got romantically involved then maybe in a few years (or a few weeks which can feel like years) she’ll stop giving you the cold shoulder and settle for a return to being good friends. However it very much depends on whether she feels that she can trust you or not. And whether you respect her or not.

      Much will depend on her version of your relationship story.

      You’ve apologised. She’s heard your apology. She won’t forget it. If she hasn’t accepted it it is because she’s angry and not ready to do that. Never try and negotiate with an angry female of whatever sign. Give her some space and time, and don’t do anything more to get at her. If you’re hurt by her cold shoulder don’t try and hurt her back, not if you genuinely want things to work out between you or that game will never end or will end up with more hurt feelings between you.

      You sounds like a good person, and I’m sure that’s what attracted her to you. Capricorns tend to be attracted to rather awesome people. The things which happened between you are things which happen in relationships. Relationships are complicated, all sorts of stuff can happen, and issues and problems arise. Getting jealous of her hook-ups is normal and natural. Of course, in hindsight, you could have handled things better (she could have handled things better too) but when you’re living in the moment, and passion is fired up… we all do and say things we regret later.

      Don’t do anymore pushing – push a Capricorn and you push them away even if your pushing is due to caring and wanting them in your life. Capricorn is a very stubborn sign and reacts by putting up walls when pushed.

      Take a break from the whole story, exercise huge amounts of patience with her, see what happens. If you’re meant to be friends then she’ll come around again. If she doesn’t then she’s lost a good friend, but sometimes that happens and it is sad and hurts everyone.

      You might want to take a look at your own chart, including the transits going on atm. You can use the free charts on astro.com for that, and for relationship astrology you might want to check out – http://sasstrology.com/ – they have loads of info on that. Also this astrology site has a good forum to ask questions – http://www.elsaelsa.com/ – and the astrologer who runs it often weighs in on relationship issues and answers questions (she sometimes can be very blunt).

      Take good care of yourself! Best wishes.

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  16. What about capricorn with a capricorn relationship. Younger man with older woman with a teenage son and she has depression and anxiety. I gone above and beyond for her to help her and for her son. We were engaged but she didnt say yes but accepted the ring, but treated me badly in alot of ways and not communicating with me. Every time my behavoir pushed her and im doing all i cant to correct me and want to repair our relationship

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Same Sun sign couples tend to usually be compatible because they have many similarities and will appreciate similar things, will have similar values and priorities, they have similar strengths and positive traits, however similarities can also be a problem as both will have similar weaknesses and negative traits.

      Sun signs can really only show how your respective egos will get along, and will only give an overview of a relationship.

      When using astrology to understand and analyse a relationship you need to use the whole chart of both people if possible and work with synastry or do a composite chart.

      The Moon, Venus and Mars of both people need to be taken into account, as in a relationship these will show what a person needs, desires, and looks for. Clashes may sometimes be due to incompatible Moons, or an aspect between one person’s Saturn and the person’s Moon or Venus.

      Also if there is a significant difference in years between you, it’s worth checking out the ‘generational’ planets – Pluto, Uranus, Neptune.

      this site has more on relationship astrology – http://sasstrology.com/

      Overall if someone is treating you badly, if you’re having major communication problems, if you feel as though you’re being used, that nothing you do for them is ever good enough, that they’re taking without giving in return, and that you have to change who you are to ‘win’ their love, this is not a good sign for a relationship regardless of Sun sign.

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      • We had a great relationship till her depression took over a year ago and id want to solve things but then we have had issues like our connection and communication been bad. She claimed were done and has lied of things and is obviously hiding something and im sure how she listens to what i consider wrong persons influences and not of her own decisions herself and my behaviour didnt help by pushing her to help the other person to swad her to think other option by her depression. She worth it to me to save and help regain the balance back on track

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        • When someone has depression it can be very difficult for them, and very difficult for those who love the person with depression. It’s a difficult condition to treat, even if the person undergoes therapy and takes medication it can change who they are and how you experience them. Depression is a dark fog which clouds everything and everyone.

          Those with depression usually find communication hard to do, and they tend to disconnect from everyone around them. They tend to feel awful about themselves and may think that others are better off without them.

          If you want to be there for her, I recommend researching depression and its effects on the person who has it and on those who live with a person who has it, perhaps joining a support group for partners of people with depression.

          Is she in therapy and getting treatment or is she trying to deal with this on her own? That will make a difference to whether things will work out or not between you. If she’s trying to go it alone then she may reject everyone else’s help, that’s a part of depression. And she may not hear anything that anyone says to her as it may make her feel worse.

          If I was you I’d seek some council and support from an expert in such matters. Astrology is not going to help with this.

          Astrologically, with both of you being Capricorn, Pluto is transiting the sign and will be affecting your Suns and any other planets in the sign – Pluto transits can be traumatic as they tend to stir up what has been hidden and bring that out into the open to be confronted and dealt with in a way which transforms. It’s an uncomfortable transit and experience.

          Please take good care of yourself, you sound like a lovely and very caring person!

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  17. Why bother? I guess having nothing to do iΒ΄ll share my experience here: I have two “friends” who happen to be Capricorns. IΒ΄m a Scorpio by the way.

    One of them is materialistic, pretentious, simpleton, no sense of humour, talks behind your back but says heΒ΄s your friend, complains when i donΒ΄t give him dinner or donΒ΄t let him choose the movie, gets angry because i donΒ΄t share my sexual life with him, is jealous that i finished a career and know a lot more about the things he like but heΒ΄s too lazy for going after anything, wants it all but gives nothing morally or material, heΒ΄s rude and so self centered i canΒ΄t believe it, he donΒ΄t care about anything but himself and is so useless he has to have his feet nails clipped at the salon, wants to be flamboyant but has horrible taste to dress and values more material possesions than experience, knowledge and friendship. On several ocassions i have dumped him for good but for some reason he pops back when heΒ΄s in a good mood and i almost forget heΒ΄s a goddamn Capricorn. Pretentious, boring, tasteless, hypocrite, liar, resentful, envious and mean, thatΒ΄s what he is.

    The other is a struggling artist who lacks self discipline, is irresponsible, wants all for nothing, always dirty, never washes his goddamn hands, thinks his friends are the ones who party with him but when heΒ΄s betrayed he comes back for the true friend…wants to be famous but canΒ΄t hold a simple conversation, has no social skills, always fantasizes about violence and sexual paraphilias, heΒ΄s coward, rude and dumb.

    Really. I have met a lot of people and like diversity and to be empathetic with everyone but i canΒ΄t stand selfish, useless, pretentious pricks who just want to use me or get something from me. In my experience, Capricorns THINK theyΒ΄re intelligent, but they only pretend, theyΒ΄re superficial and lack sense of humour, theyΒ΄re greedy and arrogant, but not like Leos or Scorpios who tend to be also smart and funny.

    Capricorns are the worst, at least for me!

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      It’s interesting to look at relationships from an astrological angle. Certain signs or placements just rub us and our own sign and placements the wrong way.

      There was a fun article about that on Sasstrology – http://sasstrology.com/2015/06/i-hate-that-sign-why-some-signs-push-your-buttons.html

      The astrologer Alan Oken wrote some very intriguing articles about each sign, about the different levels of expression within each sign. He used the theory of Rays which is a bit weird, a part of what is known as esoteric astrology, but it’s quite interesting to explore.

      He had this to say about Scorpio:

      “Sun in Scorpio: As a Fourth Ray sign, an incarnation taken in Scorpio always is involved with some form of deep conflict, almost always expressed on the emotional level. Such a battle provides the individual with the needed opportunity to observe and express his or her own inner struggle for the domination of the lower self by the love of the Soul. The interlude of Balance is over; the true adversary appears in the form of the desire nature of the lower self. It is through the reorientation of desire that release from the attachment to the personality structure is achieved. β€œDeath” becomes a continuous process, even an essential aim of life, as the release from (emotional) illusions is followed by awareness of a higher state of reality.

      Soul Level Purpose: The transformational lessons learned through the Sun in Scorpio help to focus the individual as a catalyst for the healing of others. The ego, the lower self, becomes an extension of the Soul force. Strength and determination is gathered in as the rewards for the intense battles that have been fought and won. Scorpio is then ready to walk the Path in earnestness.”

      And this to say about Capricorn:

      “Sun in Capricorn: The Second Ray qualities of the Sun must express themselves through three quite different Rays (I-III-VII) of the sign Capricorn. An incarnation taken in this sign has a very profound struggle but an equally great reward. Capricorn has to be able to express Love/Wisdom through the intense need for the expression of Will and Power (Ray I). This requires the total acceptance of the biblical phrase, β€œLet Thy Will be done.” Capricorn has to modify and direct his or her creative and active intelligence (Ray III), so that the mind is used for the goals of the Soul. Furthermore, CapricornΒ΄s incredible urge for control, structure, and order (Ray VII) have to be transformed and totally redirected. Instead of being qualities which are used to manipulates the outer circumstances of life in order to fulfill the desires of the personality, these very same characteristics have to come under the directed will of the Soul. Once all of this is achieved, then the Soul level purpose becomes a reality.

      Soul Level Purpose: Initiation. Capricorn represents that stage in spiritual growth in which all the efforts at spiritual growth culminate in advanced spiritual awareness. This entails even more responsibility as Capricorn takes his or her place in the structure of the Human Hierarchy, that group of men and women of Goodwill who have achieved the skills necessary to serve.”

      – excerpts via – http://www.alanoken.com/index.php?page=the-soul-purpose-of-your-sun-sign

      People who are selfish pricks, who have smartest person in the room syndrome, who manipulate and use you are universally annoying regardless of their Sun sign. I wouldn’t say that they’re useless though, they have a way of making us appreciate those who aren’t that way, and let us know the sort of behaviour and attitudes which we don’t like – they make us take stock of our relationships, of others and of ourselves.

      These Capricorns in your life have shown you clearly what you hate in others. They’ve also shown you what you love about yourself, such as the fact that you’re not like them. So that’s something rather useful. And now you know which sign to avoid.

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    • I couldn’t have said it better! One thing I’ve learned about capricorns (dealt with 4), in my experience and from hearing what others have to say, they do lack empathy for others and lie so much!!! They are extremely defensive and just aren’t the type of characters to want to do ‘self reflection’ and self work. They have a really hard time letting the defenses go, which makes it almost impossible for them to even improve on themselves and change ways that they have that would be damaging in a relationship. A person needs to be able to understand and see things from their partner’s perspective and be empathic to makes things work. Capricorns lack all these things. Their ego is too big to admit when they are wrong, most of them. However, I don’t think it isn’t impossible for them to change, but they have to want to. That could be why a lot of them don’t settle down until later on in life. It may be because they need life go really force them to understand these concepts. It’s like they take a lot longer to mature emotionally and handle emotions effectively.

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  18. Hi There,

    I am a virgo woman and have been seeing a capricorn male for about 2 months. I’m 43 yrs old and had pretty much given up on ever meeting and being with someone. so i was very pleasantly surprised meeting this guy. i was smitten and have never felt this way before i really thought this was the one! all the cliches were coming up and i had never had these sayings going through my head before. it felt so good to be with him and it felt so right. i thought things were going so well. it felt natural and i enjoyed being with him and wanted to be with him all the time which is also unlike me. i did invite him a couple of times to meet my friends and family on a couple of separate occasions. he said no thanks and the last time I saw him (2 weeks ago) he said that he needs to take it slow and that he is complicated and hd would call me. i texted him after i hadn’t heard from him for a few days, no reply, i called him, no answer, i text saying is everything ok and he texted back ‘sorry i missed your call i am just going to take it a bit slow with us at the moment before we get too serious, plus my back is giving me absolute grief lately so I’m not much fun at the moment, chat soon. i responded ‘ thanks for letting me know, hope your back is better soon… look forward to hearing from you when you’re ready’ i have not heard anything since then and that was almost a week and half ago. what do you think? i am trying not to contact him again, as I feel a little humiliated he was quite full on and said things off and on like ‘when we get married….’ ‘shall we move in together’…. ‘how many children do you want’…. i feel like i might have mis -read his signals….. a couple of other things happened but i won’t go into them, as this is all about the crux of it all. should i say anything to him or just let it go? do you think i will ever hear from him again?
    many thanks
    hope you can help to shed some light and bring me some relief. i feel sick from it all.

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      First off, I have to say that I love Virgos.

      It’s one of the sweetest, kindest and most considerate signs of the zodiac. Your sign does tend to worry a bit too much about bothering and upsetting other people, and when someone else acts like an ass your sign tends to think it’s because of something you did or said and wants to fix the problem, make amends. Your sign may hide how hurt you are and put on a brave “I’m fine” face, that is at times one of your strengths as it makes you inscrutable and if you’re playing poker it’s rather useful to get a win, but it can also be misunderstood by other signs in ways which can cause complications – someone may not realise that what they did hurt you, they think you’re fine with it and so they just keep doing it thinking it’s okay with you.

      From what you’ve told me about this Capricorn, he sounds like he’s being a bit of an ass.

      Capricorns can be very ass-ish, especially in relationships where strong emotions and passions are involved. They’re not particularly adept when it comes to emotions, and may lack emotional intelligence (even if they’re smart in other ways).

      Love can make us feel and be very foolish, sometimes that’s part of the fun of it and sometimes that’s the pain of it. Living the cliches is one of those weird surprises love gifts us with.

      It doesn’t sound as though there is any reason for you to feel humiliated, although I can understand how you might feel that way. This man invited you to dance, you danced passionately, and he promised to keep dancing with you forever, to never let you go, then suddenly he was gone and he left you dancing on your own… and it took you awhile to realise that he was no longer your dance partner.

      So, what’s going on with him. Did he mean all those things he said in the heat of passion and first rush of love, does he still mean them or was he saying those things as part of some seduction routine to win your heart and once he’d captured your heart he was out of there like a cold Casanova taking your heart with him? The answer to that can be hard to figure out, particularly when dealing with a Capricorn.

      A Capricorn is just as likely to run away from you because they feel too strongly about and for you as they are if they suddenly don’t feel anything for you.

      Love scares the crap out of Capricorns, they feel vulnerable, out of control and really don’t know how to handle it. Sometimes the more they want you, the more they want to avoid you.

      So, perhaps he scared himself with how passionately he felt about you. He felt himself rushing headlong into a new life experience which he really wanted and… he got cold feet. It was too fast, too soon, and he got dizzy. Perhaps he genuinely means it when he said he wants to be with you but just wants to slow things down – When a Capricorn goes slowly it can feel as though time is frozen. A Capricorn’s ‘slow’ is very, very, very, very slow. And if you try to hurry them up a bit, they’ll be even more stubbornly slow. They hate being pushed and become an immovable object when someone pushes them.

      Or perhaps he’s an ass who played with your heart and now he’s done with you but hasn’t got the guts to tell you, instead he’s ghosting you.

      It is strange that he didn’t want to meet your friends and family. Did he give an explanation for not wanting to meet them?

      Did you to meet his friends and family?

      How much of him and his life did he let you into? – that’s usually a good gauge of how much a Capricorn is into you because they’re intensely private (not dissimilar to Virgos, just more paranoid and deliberate about it than Virgos).

      If you can’t figure out through analysing and reviewing the relationship up until this point whether he really cares for you or if he has changed his mind, then I would either:

      1. Wait him out – sometimes that’s the only way to handle a Capricorn who has gone into hermit mode, retreating into their shell – and do the waiting patiently – no calls, texts, emails, prompts, etc, as these could be construed as nagging and Capricorns hate being nagged, especially when in hermit mode, and when they’ve asked you to wait until they’re ready to come out of their retreat – and see if he lives up to his words.

      This could backfire if your Capricorn has something like a Cancer Moon. Do you know what sign his Moon is in? Or if he is expecting you to draw him out of his shell. But that doesn’t sound like the case here.

      So, option one – wait and see what he does.

      This will test your patience.

      Your Capricorn may be testing your patience as a part of his going slow to be certain process. Capricorns do test people to find out more about them.

      2. You could run a test of your own to gather more information – but the test has to be something which is unexpected and strange enough to get a reaction one way or another from him.

      For instance – He has a bad back which is hurting and he’s miserable company because of it. You could buy him a non-romantic gift and have it delivered (don’t do it in person). I don’t know your budget for something like this, or whether you want to spend any money on him considering how much of an ass he’s being, but here are some off the top of my head options:

      You could pay for him to receive a visit from a professional masseur (if it’s the kind of back trouble which a massage would help rather than aggravate) – the masseur can contact him to organise a time and place, etc. so you don’t have to have direct contact.

      You could buy him his favourite food, take out, something which you know he loves to eat or drink and will cheer him up with a note wishing him all the best, or saying something funny – Capricorns usually have a wicked sense of humor, tapping into it can bring out their softer side.

      You could send him something completely silly, like a grabber – so he doesn’t have to bend or move to pick things up – or some other weird gadget. Men love gadgets. Silly gadgets are great fun gifts for men. Find one which reflects a passion for him, something he loves, or… something useful yet fun and silly for someone with a bad back who is also grumpy.

      How he reacts to getting a no-strings attached gift from you will give you feedback on this matter.

      This kind of tactic will also give you something to do so you don’t get too caught up in worrying. It gives you some power in a situation where you may be feeling powerless, and thinking either about what sort of gift to buy him or what wacky test to try out on him will also make you think about your relationship, and him, and what you know about him in a different manner which might help clarify your mind about matters.

      Best wishes πŸ™‚

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      • Thank you so much for your response. It does help to have your advice.

        To answer some of your questions…. I did feel that he let me into his life somewhat…. He shares a flat with another couple I think they’re engaged , he invited me there a couple of times once for dinner which he cooked for me another time was a sleepover he cooked breakfast for me …. The day I met him I met one of his friends that he was with but I guess that doesn’t really count. He talked a lot about his family but I never met them
        When he didn’t want to meet my family he told me it was too soon.
        I’m trying the wait it out approach but how long do I wait for? Do I eventually say something to him? It’s now almost been 3 weeks since I saw him and 2 since he sent me the text.
        I’m not too sure about sending him a gift for his back as his back might be better by now and also I don’t feel confident enough to do that but it is a good idea. I think his moon sign is Scorpio and rising sign is Taurus
        Thanks again I really appreciate your advice …. This has really upset me more than I would have known

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        • Waiting someone out when what you want to do is contact them can be agonising. Add to that the fact that you’re not sure at this time if he wants a relationship with you or not since he’s being evasive and unclear, and the agony factor rises. No one likes to be kept hanging. You have to be careful when you do get back in touch that the communication doesn’t become a venting of hurt and frustration due to the agony of the waiting and being kept hanging.

          The problem with how he left things with you is that it could be a cowardly way of breaking up or it could be exactly what he said it was. He really should have clarified things, but maybe they’re not clear for him either.

          There are pluses to waiting it out and not contacting him in any way – if he is confused about how he feels about you, this time of not seeing or hearing from you will clarify his confusion.

          If he really cares for you he will miss you and will realise how much he enjoys being with you and having you in his life.

          If he genuinely meant what he said he will be impressed that you respected his request to give him time, and he won’t forget that you did that.

          What about you? This really isn’t fair on you. This time spent waiting is not how you want to be spending your time, you want to interact with a person you feel very strongly for and want to be with.

          If you really can’t take the waiting, and there is no reason why you should, other than a fear that you might upset him and cause him to love you less, you could contact him and ask him what’s up, ask for a clarification of his side of your relationship. You deserve to know if he intends to be in a relationship with you or not, and if this time spent waiting for him is worth it for you. You could put it to him in a straightforward manner – Do you want to be in a relationship with me or not. Is the ‘too soon’ code for let’s break up or let’s stay together but go slower because I’m scared and confused by what I feel, love is making me seasick.

          Scorpio Moon tends to be intense and obsessive in love, and also very complicated where emotions are concerned. Taurus rising is very attractive and can be so laid back that they look like they’re moving in slow motion, if they’re moving at all.

          You might find it interesting to check out how your Moon and his interact, it might shed some light. Also check out your 7th house and what sign is there. This is quite an amusing site for relationship astrology – http://sasstrology.com/ – they also have some very good info on there.

          Best wishes!

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          • Thank you again for your reply!

            Its funny how the longer I am waiting this out the more redundant the whole ‘relationship’ with him seems. I still am waiting it out and now just don’t know if me contacting him at all is relevant anymore at this stage. Perhaps while I am waiting things out I am gradually getting over him. Which is a good thing when I now actually believe I have gotten over being in denial and realise now that he actually just broke up with me by pretty much lying to me. all my friends have told me to not get in touch with him ever again and don’t like him at all. I have to admit though that I would like to send him a text and just say hey, what happened to ‘us’? I am pretty curious and there is a part of me that thinks how the fuck can he get away with treating someone so badly?! this whole situation sux and I really am so surprised that he did this. he seemed like such a lovely honest great genuinely good person and thats what attracted me to him the most. I thought I had finally met a guy who was good and who I could be comfortable with and trust. ah well back to the drawing board for me.

            thanks again for all your help.

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            • Hi ladies. (I’ll start by commenting that i always feel like I’m eavesdropping when I get emails about new posts on here and start reading everyone’s personal lives on a page, y’kno? Sorry for that. I’m not tryyying to eavesdrop. Anyway, I feel kind of similar about my Cappie lately too, and felt like Upturned’s responses to Sam’s situation applied a little to my own presently, so thought I’d add a comment to this one too..)

              Yeah, Sam, my Cappie’s doing something similar lately too. Only.. I haven’t had a date with him in almost a month and a half (and in almost three months of being back from overseas -after five months of being gone) I’ve only had two dates with him. Granted they were both wonderful dates, and I felt like he opened up to me more than ever before.. but.. I get so emotional at that, I think I started to overwhelm him.

              At first, he was really responsive to texts and stuff, but lately he’s been a little avoidant I think. I suppose I can assume he’s had a lot of other things on his plate at the same time, and maybe not had the energy to focus on relationship, but.. I don’t think that’s completely true. Oddly, .. even though we haven’t had a date in a month and a half almost, and he has hardly texted me but a sentence or two every couple of weeks, I have this pervading sense that he’s just processing. I don’t know what exactly makes me so sure of that but… my instinct is that he’s just processing all of the emotion that’s been developing between us.

              I hope that intuition is correct. But other than scant contact and not making time for dates (which isn’t exactly suuuper abnormal for him), he hasn’t done anything to indicate he’s pushing me away. The texts he does send periodically are not indicative of him putting emotional distance between us, so I don’t feel like he’s breaking up with me or anything. He still acts supportive in some ways, by what he says.

              Anyway, that being the case… it’s a strange thing for me, the whole situation. I want more than anything to be the clingy Venus-in-Scorpio that I am, but somehow I don’t feel scared of losing him; and because of that, I’ve forced myself to maintain emotional calm and patience. As a Saggie sun, Venus in Scorpio… this slow paced romance is insanely difficult. So Sam, I 100000% feel your pain right now. haha.

              But.. I’ve read that, just like what Upturned said at some point, for Capricorns, slow and steady.. very slow and steady is the pace.. and often they’ll TEST you. Omg, I don’t even know if mine knows he does that to me.. but sometimes I just want to tackle him and tickle him silly because he gets so smug and thinks he’s so smart.. just like a goat, bites you in the butt and thinks it’s funny. That’s totally the sense of humour, but.. somehow i love it hahaha.
              Sorry, I digress.. Anyway.. So maybe she’s right and they’re testing us.. I told mine that I love him. I told him I won’t leave him. Maybe he’s processing all of his own emotions and at the same time, if I decide to go elsewhere in the time we’re apart, then obviously my love and patience wasn’t enough to be with him and hold true to my word. That’s a test of my Truth. And …Mine has a insecurity about being left by the one he entrusts his heart to.. so I don’t want to be a person that does that to him.

              I’ve read that often it’s the last one standing who will be the right person to be with a Capricorn. They require strong partners. So.. even if it kills me (says my Venus in Scorpio.. yes, please try.. and i’ll come back from the brink of death), I want to be the last one standing by his side to prove that my Sagittarius endurance can match him,….and if he can push my endurance and Willpower that hard, he is worthy to be my mate (what every Saggie truly desires!). Although.. at some point, if I’m respecting his need for space and time to process, he owes me the respect eventually to meet and talk about where we’re at in the relationship so that at least we’re on the same page.. and if he needs to take things slowly, just needs to tell me, not ignore the topic. But.. maybe he doesn’t even know his own answer yet, so even if I were to ask, it might not help.

              Cappies also like control… I told him he’s the man, and i’ll respect him and trust him to lead the relationship. Also on control, I think they like a mate who is in control of themselves.. their own emotions. It’s not that Cappies are not just as emotional as us, it’s just they don’t let their emotions control them and become such a show, like how some signs do.

              The other thing, is mine has Venus in Aquarius, and for Aquarius, I’ve read that it’s more like.. relationships are ‘understood’ and become a rational/ intellectual thing. So it makes sense he’s trying to rationalize his feelings right now, and fit them into some sort of logic. OR it could be that he doesn’t feel all the communication is necessary, because.. due to other actions and past words the fact we’re in a ‘relationship’ should be ‘understood’, and not need to be stated. It would be like.. being redundant having to explain the ‘obvious’ right? That is the sense that I get about it from him. And it suits what i’ve read about Venus in Aquarius…. Then again, what about the doubting voices that provoke us to think otherwise? I mean, that’s always a possibility my intuition is wrong.
              But then again, I lived with a man who said he loved me probably every day for 8 years, and in the end he left me for someone else, and in 8 years, never committed to me seriously, and didn’t treat me with the same sense of respect that my Cappie has. So.. maybe the unspoken is more powerful than the spoken. Even if he SAYS he loves me and will be with me, that doesn’t make it TRUTH, or any longer lasting. Words can offer a false sense of security for those who don’t see and read all the other signs that tell the fullness of the story.

              On a side note, honestly.. Saturn (ruler of Cappie) is in my sign.. life kind of royally sucks right now, but I’m learning to appreciate my Capricorn’s way, .. the extreme diligence, hard work, suffering, struggling.. becoming stronger,.. suffering more. Oh, and did I mention suffering?… God bless Capricorn for being ruled by such a harsh planet.. And at the end of the day, they can keep it. I kind of like ruling planet of Jupiter.. (though it and saturn aren’t much different when they hit your sign directly. It’s all just mega life changes. Even if they’re ‘good’, the stress still sucks.)

              though..I swear my Venus in Scorpio is somehow enjoying all the torture. I keep telling my scorpio side that this is not all fun and games, but I think Scorpio is in it’s element with Saturn haha. Is there anything in astrology that says a Venus in Scorpio gets pleasure from pain? Omg…
              Since I met my Cappie, my Venus in Scorpio is just gone crazy. I’ve never felt so intensely over anyone in my life. It’s like.. meeting him just made my Venus in Scorpio come alive. Like.. awakened the beast that wants to devour his soul… but totally in a loving way.
              I never thought of Venus in Scorpio as a scary thing but honestly, after meeting him, knowing how hot and uncontrollable my Venus in Scorpio feels most of the time now, I think Venus in Scorpio can be frightening. And anyone who doesn’t think so hasn’t experienced a fully awakened Scorpio passion.

              Can I leave my Venus in Scorpio at home for a day?I think the rest of me needs a breather.

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              • Hi there Jacquelyn
                thanks for your comments. it has been great to hear from you guys I have found it really helpful to share with you and to have your input, somehow it brings me some relief. although i have to be honest i feel like i am going a little crazy here and probably obsessing about this too much. i think i need to accept that it is over and take steps to move on. however i still keep wondering ‘will i ever see him again’ i have had no word from him since for almost 4 weeks. do you think i will ever hear from him? or has be gone completely???

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                • He will come back if there is something in his life that he is missing that he has found in you. I have a long history with Capricorns. They always come out of the wood work. I have one that went ghost. Due to his own choice. He started dating a female who lived closer to him. This was all done a year ago. Now the guy is lurking my social media.
                  Not sure when he will reach out but my history with Capricorns has showed me it will not be long.

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                  • thanks for your comment too cam.
                    I do hope to see him again. even though I know he does not even deserve to be acknowledged after what he has done to me. it is just plain rude if nothing else!

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                  • another thing I was thinking about…..
                    The last time I saw him he actually said to me ‘I feel safe with you’ like why the F*** would he say that then disappear?!!
                    He also spent a whole sunday with me where he wanted us to pickle cucumbers. so we did. it took the whole day. we went about it like a project. bought the jars, went to the market to get special ingredients such as expensive vinegar, sterelised the jars and cooked it up together. At one point he left to get more jars and left me alone, i was reading his notes/recipe and on the back he had written some other notes a couple of lines something like…. ;caring nature’…. ‘big smile’ ‘clever and engaging’……
                    these were some comments about me that he had said to me on another occasion. I somehow felt that the whole activity of making pickles he initiated so that I could accidently see his notes about me on the back of his hand written recipe…….
                    am I going mad or do you think this could be so?

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                    • For a Capricorn? No…they move at their own pace. If you are officially done ..if is up to you if you move on. If you are waiting for some type of closure…you maybe waiting a long while.

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                    • do you think i should leave it now after 4 weeks of nothing? or should i contact him and ask him what has happened?

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                    • Since you’ve asked this same question of both Jacquelyn and Cam… what would you advise to someone else if they came to you with the same question? If a friend of yours was in your position and asked you for advice, asked you this question, what would you advise them to do, what would your answer be?

                      More to the point – what do you really want to do?

                      You’re obviously done with waiting.

                      Do you want to contact him or would you rather not?

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                    • I do want to contact him and if I have to wait for him then I am willing to wait for him. but I worry that if I do contact him and he is done with us then I appear needy and pathetic for pining after him all this time. I also worry that perhaps if he is not done with us then me contacting him will be seen as nagging and pushy and turn him off. but how long do i wait? just be silent forever? My gut reaction and gut feeling is that he is done with me. but I hold hope that it is not the end. I feel really pathetic and crazy though. If I were to advise a friend what to do. I would say just contact him if you want to. If it is more humiliation and he just ignores again then that will be the answer. if he answers and tells me it is over then that is more humiliation again. but i suppose then i know and i can move on. but then the other question is, if I contact him what do I say and how can I say it in a way that seems calm in control not angry and not psycho and kind of casual??? god I hate this situation sometimes I wish I had never met him!

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                    • well I ended up texting him as follows:

                      ‘haven’t heard from you in a while…which to be honest leaves me feeling confused….. i was enjoying spending time with you and getting to know you i thought you were too….. i respect your intention to slow things down a bit and thought you’d either message or call me at some stage eventually. anyway i hope i didn’t say or do anything in particular to make you uncomfortable and that things for you are getting a little less complicated…id like to see you again if you’d like to…..’

                      then he replied with this:

                      ‘hi i had been thinking about you the other day, you didn’t do or say anything wrong it was just i don’t think we were right for each other and i think i am not really ready i think to even try and have a serious relationship, i need to sort a lot of circumstances that surround my life.’

                      good i guess i finally know whats going on but have to admit i feel very upset and sick after receiving that message. particularly after i thought we were right for each other.

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                    • I’m sorry that things didn’t work out as hoped. It’s always upsetting when we feel very strongly for someone but they don’t return those feelings. Suspecting that and having it confirmed can be deeply painful.

                      I do have to say that your message to him was absolutely perfect. You were very calm, cool, to the point, and understanding. His reply shows appreciation for the way you handled the situation. You may not have his love (I think he’s too confused about love to give anyone his love at this time), but you do have his respect.

                      He seemed relieved that you contacted him and said what you said the way you said it. It gave him the opportunity to end things amicably (even if it hurts and staying friends is probably not going to happen – but I wouldn’t rule it out).

                      I would take him at his word about how things not working out between you is due to him not being ready for a serious relationship. My guess is he realised that this relationship was serious for you and that’s when he pulled away because he’s not there yet and he may never be there. He obviously liked you a lot. Which isn’t much of a consolation but it’s worth noting.

                      There really is nothing you can do when the feeling isn’t mutual. It hurts when you’re the one who wants more and the other person doesn’t or can’t.

                      I’m very tempted to say that this experience is a stepping stone to finding someone who is not only right for you but also sees you as being right for them, yet it’s not the sort of thing you probably want to hear right now. Things do have a way of working out for the best. The one that got away leads to the one who doesn’t let us get away.

                      You are an amazing person, you deserve someone who sees that and feels as intensely as you do, who loves as you do.

                      He’s going to regret letting you get away, but I don’t think you’ll regret it as much as he will as I think you’ll find someone who makes all of this drift into forgetfulness.

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                    • thank you so much for all your comments and help. it really has been a great source for me at this time and I have really appreciated it. you are very wise and compassionate I trust that you are right and one day hopefully very soon I will meet someone who appreciates me and wont’ let me getaway.

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                    • Hi There,

                      do you think there is any chance that he may get in touch with me one day once he has sorted out all of his stuff in his life he wants to sort out? that maybe when he says we are both right for each other he just means that he is not right for a relationship right now? i just find it so hard to believe that he actually thinks we are not right for each other. how could my instincts be wrong. how could he have mis-lead me so bad. if he really thought that then i am so surprised because the way he behaved was that he really was falling for me. i just don’t believe him.

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                    • I have no idea if he’ll contact you again as I don’t know him or his take on your relationship, his story. I have insufficient data.

                      Going with his last message to you – he’s unlikely to get back in touch.

                      Going with the Capricorn Sun – if he’s a typical Cap, once a Capricorn decides that a relationship is over they tend to stick with that. If they have regrets about it they may simply live with the regrets rather than try to reignite a flame.

                      Much depends upon the inner conversation going on with him about your relationship.

                      He’s also male. Men tend to love very intensely and deeply when they love, their love is not as intellectual as that of women it’s more visceral. However they can be very practical and straightforward about it – they only tend to be complicated and evasive because they’re worried about the way women react, the typical female tendency to analyse and discuss love and relationship matters at length makes men groan and shudder, and in an effort to avoid long conversations about emotions, feelings, tears, outbursts of ‘women’s stuff’ and a dissection of the relationship they often tell little white lies and behave in a way which women find confusing.

                      I don’t think he deliberately mislead you, nor are your instincts necessarily wrong. Relationships and people in relationships go through different phases.

                      In the early stages of meeting someone new we’re usually more focused upon how a person makes us feel about ourselves, making a good impression and feeling good about the impression we are making on the other.

                      In the beginning falling in love is often more about falling in love with ourselves, we love the other person because they make us love ourselves as they look at us with fresh eyes which seem to like what they see. They find us funny, smart, charming and we love it when people see us that way.

                      As the relationship progresses, as we get to know them a bit more and they get to know us, issues can arise – especially if we’re keeping our ‘bad’ bits hidden and accentuating what we believe are our ‘good’ bits. We worry about whether they’ll like us once they know us better.

                      There are also many other factors which come into play as we pursue intimacy in a relationship. Probably the best description of this I have read is in a book by Thomas Moore, he sums the book up in this article – https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199403/soul-mates

                      Once the ‘honeymoon’ phase of a new relationship begins to wear off all the issues we have with ourselves, with others, all the dreams, ideals, fantasies, illusions, delusions, expectations, disappointments… and all that other stuff humans carry around come to bear upon this new relationship and affect it.

                      Astrologically all Capricorns are more screwed up than usual thanks to Pluto transiting the sign, and transiting Uranus squaring it.

                      I would recommend that you get your own chart done by a qualified astrologer, with a focus on recent transits – this can be very illuminating for understanding the meaning of relationships, their part in our own life, especially when they have an impact on us which is deep and difficult.

                      Virgos have Jupiter transiting the sign – it’s a lucky transit, but some blessings come in disguise of things which don’t feel like they’re lucky.

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                    • Sam anything is possible as I said if you made any impact in his life no matter how big or small. I haven’t had any contact with a Capricorn whom I was very close with since Oct 2015 and yesterday he reached out to say happy birthday 5/18/2016 but my bday is 5/17 I simply replied thank you and he replied welcome with a winky faceπŸ˜‰. So anything is possible and last I checked he was in a relationship. Friends say he doesn’t seem as happy as he was when he was with me. But hope that helps you understand they move at their own time.

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                    • Sam you keep asking questions instead of finding answers. If he wants to be in touch with you he will reach out. Stop trying to control or convince yourself that what you want to happen will. The only person you know in any relationship is yourself. So figure out what you want then do it.

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              • how are things going with you? have you heard from your cappie or seen him lately? mine has really diappeared. no text no call nothing for 4 weeks. i believe it to be over now and that when he said he wanted to take things slowly before things get too serious that he meant he wanted to stop. it was a cowardly way of breaking up with me. from what I have heard about capricorns i thought the last thing they were was a coward. but this one is. i have to move on now. have you any advice on how i do that?
                many thanks

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                • Personally, my cappie still hasn’t asked me on a date.. I think this coming week will be almost 7 weeks without a date. Though .. maybe every two weeks I get a text. Usually “good luck with your test in class” or something. haha. Most of my text he doesn’t reply to, but I’ve started feeling like even if he reads them it’s a good sign. Erg. lol. We use a chat app that lets you see if the person read the message.. though last week he went five days without reading my messages from the weekend before, and no reply. But then I sent him a funny video link for youtube for a laugh, and he read it quickly. I think a lot for him has to do with time, since he’s so busy.. But also I get the feeling some days he has other things on his mind and he just can’t think about anything else other than what he’s already trying to deal with.

                  Sigh.

                  Here’s the thing though.. I have another Cap friend, same Decan as my boyfriend, and she’s totally different in her communication. So, I think a lot has to do with other planetary placements in their natal astrology, y’know? I think it also depends on other exterior factors such as upbringing, culture, life experiences they’re trying to cope with, etc. There’s a lot else that goes into them than just their sun sign.

                  I DO believe that Upturned is correct though in mentioning that Cappies are just slow, and a month is nothing for them. They’re not in a hurry for almost anything, because everything just gets better with time, aging like a fine wine, so why rush? Astrologically they are also dealing with a lot.. Saturn being their ruler isn’t the least of them. Haha. But.. psychologically, how their astrology shapes them, how they perceive the world and approach life.. It’s very different from other signs.

                  I found this little tid bit from an astrology site earlier in the week, which i thought was really relevant to all of us haha… “They will have to think about this for a long time also to avoid feeling betrayed by life and by their partners who, at a certain point, will leave them because they are too detached, busy, efficient but do not always take an active part in their love life and their relationship.”

                  It also discussed that Capricorns ruler causes them to question often times if they are worthy of what they have in relationships, OR to do their duty so diligently that they lose sight of all else, pursuing only the material gratifications. Emotions are so buried inside Capricorns because of all their protective layers.. It’s also kind of sacred to them, so they protect it.. so Even if they feel very deeply, it’s very hidden, and you really have to look for it. But.. they’re very stable and not quickly changeable.. so if they loved you once, they probably still do.. they’re probably just not letting on how they feel, being too busy handling other things in life, or processing all that emotion, trying to rationalize it in their own Cappie way.

                  The more I think about my relationship with my Cappie though, the more I think.. why is it good to rush? Why is it bad to take things as slow as he wants to? If it makes the relationship more secure and enduring, I’ll take things slow. If it gains his trust and love, and he’s good to me, I’ll do things his way.

                  Sure, there are times I feel it’s not fair, because I am used to a lot of people who communicate differently than he does.. but there’s something about him that tells me he’s not breaking things off. He still feels connected.. I still feel connected. It’s some sense that the relationship is just ‘understood’, and doesn’t need all the words of affirmation. Again, maybe it’s just my imagination.. but .. the more I am patient, the more I am at peace with the times of withdrawal; because that’s what Cappies do. Sometimes they just need to withdraw to deal with things. Not even us.. but other things that just steal all the attention. But.. because I don’t feel as though he has actually distanced himself emotionally, I just am not fearing that separation right now, while he’s not taking me out on dates.

                  I have done some tarot readings on him, and also done some other scrying recently, over our relationship, and I feel like that has give me a lot of interesting insights as to his silence lately.
                  My tarot readings on him a month or so ago indicated that there was a conflict in his family that was causing him to direct his focus there instead of on the two of us. The conflict was primarily with his parents, but his mom was being the peace keeper and his dad was being kind of a dictator in the house.. just as stubborn as my Cappie boyfriend.
                  Later though.. actually just yesterday.. I was doing some scrying with a pendulum and started asking about the conflict with his parents, if that had anything to do with his distance from me recently. Apparently, according to the tarot and pendulum, his family likes me overall, but his father doesn’t approve of us being in a relationship. This however, is not uncommon for Korean families, so I’m not really surprised, I guess, but that does create a bit of an obstacle, if my boyfriend is trying to figure out a way to handle his father not approving.. His parents didn’t approve of his last relationship and they ended up not getting married.. but their relationship and situation was totally different. In our case, there’s far more hope.. but apparently, he’s still stubbornly standing by the belief in our relationship and wanting to make it work for the long run.. just.. I’m guessing if that is true about his situation, that he’s trying to find a way to open his dad’s heart to the possibility of him marrying a foreigner.. er.. a white girl.

                  I haven’t confirmed any of this with him yet, though.. so I’m not sure if it’s true.. but if you believe in those things.. that’s the answer I’ve come up with so far. Which.. I guess.. has offered some peace of mind. Because I get the sense he loves me, even if he doesn’t say it or communicate often. A lot of his life is his own business, and he doesn’t speak of it to me much.. but.. that’s just how Cappie’s operate most of the time. But.. regardless of all that, the intuition and the scrying all say he does actually love me. And I’m not about to abandon him like his last girlfriend did. Even if it hurts right now sometimes because I want to see him and connect with him more in my own way, I want to be strong for him right now, when he needs it. And I want to stand up for him and prove to him that when I told him I love him, I meant it.. and when I said I won’t leave him, I meant that, too. I won’t let my love for him be fickle, because inside of him, I see such a wonderful person that is worth waiting for (at least for a reasonable while, as long as he’s willing to move forward with me in the future) so I’m going to endure. I refuse to leave him. I refuse to let him go. I told him I wouldn’t.. (and I laugh when he said in complete Cappie fashion “i’ll try not to leave you too” ;). Because that kind of reminds me of the Han Solo, Princess Leah moment when he’s being frozen in carbonite when Han doesn’t know how else to express himself so Leah says “Han, I love you!” and Han says ,… “I know…”… lol Is Han a Capricorn by chance?)

                  Anyway.. My venus in scorpio is screaming in rage and detest at the separation of my Cappie and I, but all the same, loves the torture. Uhg. But.. It just makes reunion all the more passionate when we meet again. He really knows how to rile my Scorpionic Venus up! And of course, if it’s harder to keep him, Venus in Scorpio has to have him.. .. oh the anguish.. anyone want to trade Venus placements with me?

                  My planetary internal monologue: (Sagittarius sun vs. Scorpionic Venus)

                  Venus in Scorpio: “Oh, he’s the dark, silent and mysterious type.. and foreign.. he’s right up your alley, Saggie Sun.”

                  Saggie sun: “Oh, you’re right.. this is fun.. but ohhh.. after a month and a half he asked to kiss me.. he belongs to us now.. Let’s move on. Our job here is done.. We won.”

                  Venus in Scorpio: “But I haven’t penetrated all of his barriers and dug into all of his secrets yet. There are so many layers that I can’t detect them all. There’s too much mystery to resist. You’re just gonna have to stick around for this. He might be worth it.”

                  Saggie sun: “Alright, we’ll do this your way, but if he doesn’t hold my interest, it’s off to the next pasture.”

                  Venus in Scorpio: “Don’t worry, with every layer, we’ll reveal new fun things for you, and eventually I will be in complete, irrevocable possession of his heart and soul. Just leave this to the smoldering temptress.”

                  10 months later: Venus in Scorpio is still struggling to pry through Capricorn barriers to reveal EVERYTHING about him and get him to bend to her will. Struggling, oh struggling. But the challenge is too great to pass up for both Scorpio and Sagittarius (who both love challenge). Neither will back down. Both will only be satisfied with winning the game. And there’s already a significant trickle through the layers into his Cappie heart.. the seed is planted.. Saggie sun and Venus in Scorpio aren’t giving up. And by the end of it, may be too dedicated to ever want to leave. hahaha. Challenge is what attracts them. The end goal promises too much satisfaction by knowing that they overcame the challenge. The challenge itself is also very gratifying.
                  Not to mention… No one tells a Saggie or a Venus in Scorpio they can’t have what they want. They’ll just prove the world wrong, or die trying.

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                  • Also.. we have to keep in mind.. often the last one standing is the one that Capricorn sees as worthy. They need strong partners who can take the heat sometimes, and work as hard as them in a relationship. Sure they’ll share all the joys in life, but all the challenges go with that, too. And if we flake out, then they’ll just think we aren’t strong enough to be a good mate for them. (My Saggie Sun says “Bring on the challenge! Just TRY me, and i’ll prove you wrong.. I’ll take all the heat you got. Just run with me through life, and frolic like I do!”.. Venus in Scorpio says “that’s right! Bring the heat. You burn me to ashes and together we’ll enjoy the ecstasy of being reborn like the phoenix… Libra Ascendant and Taurus Moon say, “omg, will you two freaking chill out!?” :/ )

                    Like

                    • Good morning lovely spirit.
                      Hmm.. I think there is nothing wrong with you saying “this is not the kind of relationship I want to be in”, and just telling him “if you aren’t going to communicate with me, then I need to go elsewhere, because that’s what I need.” But depending on him, he may either just let you go, or he might come back and try harder to meet you half way between.. ???

                      But.. I think you are the best judge of your situation, the kind of person HE is, and what kind of relationship there is between you. Use your intuition. And if he’s a person you think is worth waiting a little while on, then be patient. If there are other things wrong in the relationship that indicate it isn’t healthy for other reasons, maybe walking away isn’t a bad thing. But.. I don’t think communication there (or lack thereof) is necessarily something break-up worthy for a Cappie. I don’t think it necessarily means he’s leaving you At least in my own opinion.. Unless it’s just something you absolutely can’t handle and don’t think the relationship is worth be patient for, for other reasons.

                      My Cappie was in a relationship with his last girlfriend for 7 years or so, and they didn’t see eachother for almost four years, except for the rare flying long distance to see one another briefly; and they only talked on the phone once every 5 or six months or so.. and even up until the time I entered his life, he still considered her his girlfriend (technically), and he still would have taken her back into his life if she’d moved back into the same city again. That’s the kind of dedication Cappies have to relationships usually, once they’ve chosen to be in a relationship with that person.

                      In my particular instance, he’s told me that essentially I’ve taken her place in his life and that I’m the one that makes him happy -he doesn’t think about her anymore, and willing to totally break it off with her; no contact every again. So.. Even though it’s been a month and a half without really seeing eachother, and minimal minimal phone contact… I don’t think by any means the relationship is over, if i were to judge even just solely based on his last serious relationship.

                      So.. it sucks sometimes, but.. you should be the judge as to the nature and depth of your relationship, based on his past actions and words, and unless he’s indicated in other ways he’s not interested…but.. based on my own experience, I am not sure that I’d think he was just ghosting you and trying to walk out of the relationship. Though, it’s up to you if you want to be patient with the lack of communication, and continue with a relationship that (at least in the dating stage) may include more of that.

                      Like

                    • thanks so much for all your attention and comments. i really appreciate it. I think I want to contact him but I am worried that it will annoy him and turn him off me. because I sense that he is already turning away from me and I don’t want to aggrivate him. but I am willing to wait for him because I like him alot and feel that what we had was very special. i find it really hard to believe that he didnt feel it too. or why he has put this stop to everything. u do suspect that he is done with me and he didnt have the guts to say it is over. so if i contact him i suppose i can get it clarified. by the way I really enjoyed reading that information that you sent me to the websites on capricorns. it makes me want to be with a capricorn. i have always believed that i would end up with one.

                      Like

                    • As for me,.. i think once I’m accustomed to the kind of person he is.. the style of communication and how he needs to deal with things in his life as we gradually integrate one another more and more into being part of one another’s existence… I think that gradually gaining that understanding of his own behaviour will help be able to read him better or differently in the future. Then I can gauge why he does certain things.. and maybe understand his actions differently.. Instead of thinking.. “oh, he’s just ignoring me”.. i could think, “oh, he’s trying to deal with XYZ and doesn’t want to bring that stress of his life into our relationship. he’s protecting me and also trying to work hard so that together we can go have fun together later.” Or something like that.. But.. Just trying to accept that there may be other meanings for his actions that aren’t yet understood or spoken. Capricorns just aren’t always going to explain something to us outright. We kind of have to guess sometimes. But that makes Capricorns misunderstood a lot, i think.. at least by signs that just don’t communicate that way, or deal with life that way.

                      *shrug* I guess you know him best, to be able to tell. πŸ™‚

                      Like

                • Hello
                  I have been following all your posts. I know how you feel. I am as well was/ is involved with Cappi. Who does text me every week or two weeks depends on how he feels and how busy with his life and family. I stopped asking him really to contact me like I use to do. He stopped sending kisses at the end of the messages but last week he did put them back. I tried to call him to tell him that I resigned from the job and will not be going back to the office. I don’t if he will keep in touch with me or not. I couldn’t tell him because he was busy. So I said if you can’t talk now which he said not really I said we will talk later bye. I’m sad that he didn’t allocated time to see what I have to say. At the same time I know that is how he is. I admire how cappuccinos are able to priorities. Work comes first family and then maybe a woman or love. I hope I could do that. I have a lot at the moment but still I can’t forget him and move on. I like him a lot and I would like to keep in touch with him so much. I wish we didn’t become close. I don’t know what to do. Should I just text him saying that I resigned and would like to keep in touch and that I care a lot about our friendship. Or should I try and call him again and explain it to him and see How would he react. I hope he will keep in touch. To start with he was so passionate. Then he worried about his daughter and son finding out about us. But he still kept in contact and asked me last when I am coming back to work. I’m hoping that his daughter goes to university next September to another city as she wants. He will be close to me again and find time to see me. I’m like Sam not sure what to do.

                  Like

                  • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

                    It’s always difficult to know what to do when it comes to relationships even when they don’t have added complications. There’s so much to factor in. A balance which suits all those involved can be hard to find.

                    I think perhaps sending him an email or text explaining that you’ve resigned and letting him know how to contact you might be worth doing, if only for your sake as you seem to be worrying about this. Sometimes what we do is for ourselves, for our peace of mind. How he will respond, whether he will contact you or not – that’s for him to decide. Keep the message simple, straightforward, say what you need to say for yourself while remembering that it’s best to say less than say more lest you regret saying too much. If he truly still cares, he’ll get in touch when he can. He may have made things too complex for himself – that’s on him and not on you.

                    Going with astrological Sun signs, Capricorns are a bit of a mystery to other signs, they’re a mystery to their own sign, a mystery to themselves, especially when it comes to emotions and love. Capricorns often end up treating love like a job or duty simply because they understand doing a job and being dutiful better than they understand passion and love.

                    Tell him what you need to tell him and then leave it at that. Don’t hold your breath for an answer from him. He may stay silent or he may surprise you. In the meantime focus on all the other things which are going on with your life – it sounds like you’re making some big changes and those need your attention. You need your attention.

                    Best wishes!

                    Like

                    • Thank you for replying to my post. You were again spot on, which made me smile. He texted me apologising for not being able to talk, and suggested To my surprise that we meet in the where we use to meet. We didn’t go there since first week in January, I thanked him and said d that I would happy to meet. We met and I was nervous. I didn’t know that it was that obvious but he said don’t be nervous and kissed. We talked it was so good and I told him about my future plans he was very supportive when I said there was no future progress for me in the organisation and that I love to progress he said he knows that. I gave him my private mobile number and he made sure he has I said that I care a lot about him and I would love to keep in touch he said he knows and like me and want to keep in touch too. Though he had to go back to work and prepare for a meeting, I would have been so understanding but he didn’t rush took time, kissed me several times, pretending that me who doesn’t want let him go which found very funny, he surprised me big time. Saying that being there brought very nice memories. I texted later thanking him again for a great time. I got respond back straight away saying that he enjoyed it too and that he missed it.
                      I’m happy that we met and it was good for me. I don’t know when and how often he would be contacting me, but I don’t care about that at the moment, I am accepting that he takes time to change things and on top of that he has a lot to deal with. I told he can move within he own tempo and I meant it.

                      I’m so surprised with how understanding and patient I am with him. Not only that. He has control of the situation and I am happily given it to him. It’s not like me at all, I am control freak, I don’t even like drinking or any drugs that might affect me, I have to always stay in control and mentally able to make a good decision. I’m impatient, I hate uncertainty, Now I’m happy not to take the lead and wait for him. All I want is to keep in touch with him, to be able to see him again and to continue having him in my life.

                      Do you think I am crazy. Anyway as I don’t understand this development in my personality, you once said that Pluto is in Capricorns and demands changes. I am a Leo and I am facing unexpected changes, which is not easy for me either though I am as Leo don’t mind changes and welcome them as a good way out of a stagnating situation this time though I am more anxious about the future and worry regarding my career. Anyway thanks again for your advice.
                      It’s good to hear someone, opinions who is looking at the situation from outside and impartial. I have a lot to concentrate on,

                      I hope though, he will be as good as his word and keep in touch.

                      Like

                • Hello Cam
                  I totally agree Capricorns do move too slow. They take their time, you have to be extra patient with a Capricorn. Sam he might later get in touch but don’t expect too much too soon. That’s my experience with my Capricorn, he texts sometimes once a week, sometimes once every 2 weeks. This week he texted twice, he said in his way that he’s missing me but hasn’t yet asked to meet. I don’t know If I should say would do you like to meet or to just wait. At the moment I feel like waiting. I found that being with a Capricorn makes you take time think. It grounded me for sure. I feel good with Earth signs at the moment. My best friend is Taurus and she’s just great help to me now. My advice get busy with your own life, don’t just wait for him. Who knows he might surprise you and get in touch once he has dealt with his issues. All the best. X

                  Like

  19. Hi apna greetings to you!
    Iam a taurus woman and inlove wit acap guy.We have been in off n on contact for almost 4years from now..i happend to love him while m having my boyfren but i dnt wan to cheat or flirt, i told him straight away that i have a bf. But he still contact me n askd he’ll wait if i can promise to marry him oneday..i told him future is unpredictable so i cant promise him for tat. Then he said hel nevr contact me coz if there is no future for us then its no use to be in contact. Perhaps(I never been to like or admire guys after m inlove wit my boyfren but i started to love him and miss him sometimes) he still contact me i mean not always bt even aftr months,and askd how m doin and said he miss me n never misses someone like he miss me. When he cals i talk wit him though his cals are rare and short. After a long time i mean 5,6 months of no contacts n no news of him oneday he came over to my place and ask me to visit his place. As i too wan to talk him face to face and tell him everything,i went to his place,the next day and told him that il miss him forever coz i love him but i cnt let go of my bf and we are still inlove and may likely to marry next year, askd him to go on his own…but he didnt say anything. Again he calup last week.M so confuse is he really loves me or just contact me when he is lonely. I dnt want to hurt him if he realy loves me coz i love him too. Please help m in delima:-).
    Ill remain ever grateful to you for ur kind gesture,
    Thanks.

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      I think what may be confusing you is that you’re caught between your heart and your mind, between what is real and what is imagined. You need to figure what’s going on with you more than what’s going on with him.

      It’s always flattering to have someone fancy us. To have someone tell us they love us and want us, and want us so much they want to marry us and grow old with us. So his interest in you is pleasing to you, it makes you feel good about yourself, desirable and plays into your hopes and dreams, but is it more than that?

      People can tell us anything when they know they’re safe to do that and don’t have to prove it.

      You have a boyfriend and this keeps coming up as being what’s keeping you from having a relationship with this other guy. You love your boyfriend and seem to think you love this other guy too.

      Which love is really real?

      Who do you really love and why?

      What is your love based on?

      What does love mean for you and to you?

      It sounds as though what you have with this guy is more like fantasy love, the kind found in fiction which is sometimes more interesting than real love because real love can be ordinary and boring on a daily basis.

      Whereas the love you have with your boyfriend is real love – there’s a reason why you’re still with your bf and haven’t left him to be with this other guy – you might want to look into that a bit more.

      Perhaps you know what you have with your boyfriend goes deeper, and what you have with this guy is a fun flirtation which will disappear the moment you try to make it into something more real? Or maybe not?

      You’re the one confusing yourself, so you’re the one who can untangle the confusion – be real with yourself. A Taurus values what is real.

      Like

  20. hi, my husband is a Capricorn. his a very nice person but he has a drinking problem. he drinks everyday and my mother in law scolds me for not improving his drinking habits.im scared as I will ruin my relationship with my husband as I love him alot. I’m really confused as what to do with his drinking problem as he does not listen plus he starts giving me silent treatment. how do I make him understand to cut down a bit on alcohol as he comes home drinks and sleeps. spends less quality time with me. I’m cancer and I get emotional very fast and sometimes I start crying when I talk to him. what to do???

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      A guideline which I use when dealing with other people is to respect their personal choices even if I think they’re bad choices. Respect personal boundaries, don’t try to control others even if you think it’s for their own good.

      (and don’t let your mother-in-law interfere in your relationship with your husband. She may mean well by it but it’s really not her place to tell you how to be a wife to her son – her advice will end up turning you into a surrogate mother)

      Your husband is an adult, he’s responsible for himself and therefore is responsible for his drinking problem. It’s not up to you or his mother to decide for him whether he drinks or not, or how much he drinks, and chances are the more you try to make him cut down on his drinking the more it’ll make him want to drink.

      He’s probably aware that he has a drinking problem, and he’ll know it’s not good for him and that it’s distressing to you and his mother. He is probably also aware that you both want him to stop drinking. I’m sure you’ve both told him repeatedly that you don’t like what he’s doing, and he does understand that you want him to cut down on the alcohol intake, and that it’s upsetting to you when he drinks.

      Yet he still drinks.

      So your present approach to this problem isn’t working.

      A better approach would be to understand what is behind his drinking. It sounds as though the drinking is his reaction/solution to something else, he’s self-medicating, he may be stressed out and drinking helps him to relax. So the real problem isn’t the drinking, it’s whatever is causing him to drink.

      If all he does when he comes home is drink and sleep, I would hazard a guess that something is exhausting his energy, and that may be connected to what he does during the day. Maybe he’s fed up with his job, having problems at work, feeling frustrated about his career. He could be depressed.

      Maybe what he needs is for you to listen to him rather than for you to expect him to listen to you. Perhaps he doesn’t listen because he knows what you’re going to say and it hurts him to hear it. When people don’t listen it’s often because they just can’t, they’re fed up of listening, they need silence or for someone to listen to them instead.

      Maybe he needs you to understand him and why he’s doing what he’s doing. He may feel as though he’s letting you down and each time you try to tell him about his drinking and how it is affecting you, each time you cry, he feels even worse about himself, as though he’s a disappointment to you, he’s failing you, and it makes him want to drink more and sleep more, spend less time with you and more time by himself.

      He may feel that he’s ruining your relationship, he may love you very much and feel crushed by the situation.

      There are a lot of similarities between Cancers and Capricorns. Each Capricorn has a hidden Cancerian side within them, and vice versa. Capricorns are as soft on the inside as Cancers are soft on the outside. Capricorns tend to retreat into a shell when they’re in pain. They don’t find it easy to admit when they need support, when they’re feeling vulnerable.

      Have you tried asking him why he drinks, what’s going on with him, if something is bothering him – asking it in a way which doesn’t accuse him or judge him, or make him feel responsible for you, your feelings, etc. Have you tried telling him you’re there for him if he wants to talk about it, but that there’s no pressure, when he’s ready you’ll listen.

      We all have times in life when we fall apart and do it from the inside out, and all people see is the symptoms on the outside. Sometimes all we need from others is a hand on our shoulder telling us they’re there for us. A pair of gentle eyes which look at us without judging us, or expecting anything from us, a look which says – I understand, take your time, I love you as you are.

      Like

  21. Hi anupturned soul!! thanks for sharing every fact and thought and your experiences as a Capricorn soul. I was never intrigued with cappy signs until i met and fell in love with one. I stumble upon your site as ive been researching online trying to figure out what is inside my cappy man..
    im a cancer soul. I’m already 34 and he is 22.

    we became friends first and he told me his feelings for me. i wasnt ready that time coz i want him to focus on his study but eventually i miss how wonderful person he is. So after a year i told him i missed him and thought of giving us another chance, Then the chaos came in. Most of the time we argue and clash. But we both still hold on until one day the fire gets really tough that we threw hurtful words to eachother. 😦
    i know i have a fault so i swallowed my pride and admit my fault too. I said sorry wholeheartedly and the only answer he made was ” i dont know what to say” that he suddenly give me the silent treatment for weeks. Reading your site… now i know better why he acted like that. why he gave the silent treatment. i know he is a good person but i just dont know if there is something left in us or move on.

    But the real problem is during his silence on me i found out that he dated another girl. and whats worst is they are sweet even during the times that we are sill together. The girl is within his age and a scorpio gal. i started to wonder if our age? principles? zodiac matters now?
    i just found out from a friend that he “hide the post with this scorpio gal” from me in his FB.. everyone in his fb knows now about them except me.

    i never thought he would do that, since i know a cap will never cheat and would just be brutally honest IF DOESNT WANT ME in his life. if he doesnt want me anymore then say it to me. 😦 i send him a message asking if we can talk. he said yes by 3rd week of next month. ( does it really take that long)

    now ursula please help me what is the best thing to do? shall i openly tell him that i knew what he was doing? or is it better i will just play safe until he will just blurt out the truth? i would like to be very careful if im going to talk to him about this because i have a feeling he will just keep silent and then its me who will do the talking. I dont want to talk to him using my emotion because he might not want it, i would rather understand him maybe he needed space or what. i still like him though… but.. how can i trust again? cancer traits lives in me. i dont wanna get hurt, cheated and lied. based on what ive read on you and some comments, capp doesnt want nagging, questioning… it scares them away..
    so what shall i do now? shall i move on and forget? thanks.. hoping, praying for an answer…

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Capricorns can and do cheat, they’re human, and just like all the other humans of any other sign they can make their life and those of others complicated. People who cheat don’t tend to do it to hurt others, nor do they do it because there is something wrong with the person on whom they are cheating, it’s a compulsion that may stem from insecurities which the cheater has about themselves.

      From the sounds of it it seems fairly clear that this particular guy was very much aware of what he was doing. He could have been open about it but not only did he choose not to be open, he went out of his way to cover up what he was doing. The fact that he hid his relationship with her from you is not a good sign. Especially as others seemed to know about it. That was disrespectful to you and to his Scorpio gal. I wonder if he also hid you from her.

      His actions don’t make him trustworthy. He may have many excuses and reasons for why he behaved that way, and they may even be understandable, such as that he is immature and still has a lot to learn about how to behave maturely in a relationship, but once someone does something like that it tends to make it hard to feel secure in the relationship. They’ve made themselves appear unreliable. If he hides his relationships, what else does he hide?

      I think that in this particular scenario you have earned the right to do what you want to do. It’s admirable of you to be so considerate towards him, to want to understand him and to want to handle things in a friendly manner. That shows a deeply caring, compassionate nature. Sometimes the best plan of action is to just be yourself and say what you want to say, and if it scares him away then perhaps it’s better that way. At the end of the day the people worth having in our lives are those with whom we can be honest, the friends and lovers with whom we can be ourselves no holds barred.

      If you have to worry about not bothering someone, not upsetting them, but they’re not worried about whether they’re bothering or upsetting you or not, then that’s a one-way kind of relationship, all about them, what they need and want, with you always giving and them doing the taking. They may be likable people but they’re hard work to be around.

      My advice about how to handle a Capricorn depends very much on the relationship at hand.

      If I was in your place I’d cancel the appointment to talk with him. The fact that he could only talk to you until the 3rd week of next month… that would annoy the hell out of me, and I wouldn’t trust him not to cancel at the last minute with some excuse about being too busy, or perhaps miss it entirely. His behaviour would definitely inspire me with a cut my losses and move on attitude. He’s not being respectful towards you, but you can be respectful towards yourself. So do what you need to do for yourself. If you want to talk with him, do it and say what you really want to say. Get the closure which you need. Maybe he needs someone to tell it exactly as it is.

      I understand the desire to be careful, but sometimes being careful is unsatisfying. And we tend to only be careful when we have something to lose – what are you worried about losing? And what would you like to gain?

      You might find these articles interesting and perhaps helpful:

      http://sasstrology.com/2016/02/which-signs-are-more-likely-to-ghost-you.html

      http://sasstrology.com/2016/02/how-each-sign-handles-being-ghosted.html

      The combo of Capricorn and Cancer can be a good one, but when it goes wrong it tends to never quite get back on track. The signs are opposite each other on the zodiac wheel so it’s often a case of never quite being able to get over the differences between their respective styles.

      Cancerians need to be nourished emotionally – Capricorns aren’t good at doing that kind of nurturing, and unless they have something like Moon or Venus in Cancer, they’re not likely to know or learn how to do that.

      Best wishes! Take good care of yourself, you deserve to be deeply loved and respected.

      Like

      • Hi! whoaaaah!! my dear thank you sooo much for the quick reply. oh my i felt speechless for minutes after reading your response. you know thats why im questioning why i still care for him? 😦 why does i even took a moment searching how capricorn behaves and how i can handle him.

        i might as well shared with you that i too have shortcomings 😦 during our relationship. and i was too late to know that i have ruined it coz as a capp i shouldn’t have done it. it was too late when i stumble upon your site.
        ursula, he normally says that i was the one who can only say things that made him think about himself deeply…
        my dear, even if i had a share on faults of the failure of our relationship, he still doesnt have the right to cheat,.right?

        thank you for the advice..i will reconsider cancelling the meeting with him. But then, i still wanna have a peace of mind and want to hear coming from him why did he do it. i want him to know how matured i am to handle this. i just hope i will not cry in front of him 😦
        ursula, i receive a message from him that.. he wants to “trust the timing of his life”
        i think he mean about giving him a space right? if that’s what he wanted i will surely give it to him. but i will not expect more, meaning i will not expect that there is something to look forward to.. something left between us. i want his happiness even if im not part of it.

        THANK YOU anupturnedsoul… for your messages and links to read…. I FELT YOUR SINCERITY.

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        • Usually once we’ve cared about someone we keep caring about them even when the relationship ends. We’ve given them a place in our heart and it’s hard to remove them from there, and sometimes we shouldn’t remove them. The caring we had and may still have for them is a part of us.

          We all have shortcomings, it’s part of being human, and they tend to come out more than usual in intimate relationships because that’s when we open ourselves up and lots of stuff comes spilling out. One of the benefits of a close relationship is the opportunity to make a mess and still be loved and cared for in spite of the mess… sometimes we’re loved more because of it.

          One of the things I like best about relationships is when you make a mess, can own up to it openly, and the other person gives you one of those smiles with their eyes which says – I understand, I’m a mess too.

          Our faults and flaws can be the very things which bring us closer to another because they’re something we all share and can relate to at a deeper level. We all know how awkward it can be to be human, how much we sometimes suffer, and how easy it is to make mistakes.

          His cheating is not your fault. If you made mistakes in the relationship, then you made mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes in relationships, it’s a part of being in a relationship. We learn as we relate. Your mistakes do not make you responsible for his cheating. He’s responsible for his cheating. That mistake is his, and has nothing to do with what you did or didn’t do.

          Some people who cheat blame the person they cheated on for their cheating – that’s a lie told to excuse themselves from responsibility for their own actions.

          In your previous comment you mentioned being concerned about your age difference perhaps being a factor in why things haven’t worked out between you. Although age difference doesn’t necessarily make any difference, it can have an influence which affects the relationship as there are certain phases we all go through at certain times of our life and there’s not much we can do about it. Gender can also have an influence, men and women have different approaches to relationships.

          He’s in his early 20’s and if you recall how you were when you were that age maybe that will bring some understanding. Perhaps he hasn’t yet figured out who he is and what he wants. Saying something like that he wants to – trust the timing of his life – sounds as though he’s waiting for life to tell him what he wants and what to do, and maybe even reveal to him who he is. He’s still experimenting.

          You had a wonderful relationship with him, and it has meant a lot to you. Don’t worry if you shed tears, don’t worry if you do it in front of him, there is no shame in tears, tears can be a lovely way to express what we sometimes can’t say with words. Let yourself feel what you are feeling, don’t overthink things.

          Maybe he’s got the right idea, and maybe you too need to trust the timing of your life… perhaps letting go of this relationship will open up a space for you for someone else to come in and maybe that someone else will be all those things which this guy can never be for you.

          Don’t see this just as a loss, sometimes something ends so something else can be born πŸ™‚

          Liked by 1 person

          • your response is sooo inspiring. thank you for the words..advice. i really need it. πŸ™‚

            i will now look forward to the day with a positive thought that someday, somebody will love me. someday i wont have to prove my worth… =)

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        • I am a virgo and I have a similar story with a cappy too. So I finished it with him made it clear that I just wish we could be friends and when he found out I slept with someone else he got so mad accused me of cheating. When a) we were done and b) he is in a long distance relationship with a girl he tells he loves ((that’s why I broke it with him because I found out but instead of accusing him and making a big deal I just told him I felt he was in love with someone else and I couldn’t be in this relationship but I hoped we could be friends ))

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  22. Hi! I am a Libra and my boyfriend, well i guess ex now, is a Cap. He dumped me via text message a couple of days ago, after ignoring me for a day and a half. He has blocked me on every possible outlet to contact him on, and refuses to speak to me on the phone or in person. Let’s rewind to a few days earlier when he told me he loved me. This wasn’t the first time, but it happened just two days before he broke up with me. I am so confused and hurt and honestly have no clue what to do. I need help getting him back, or atleast help with getting him to talk to me and hear me out. Thanks! πŸ™‚

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    • Hi, thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      So, a few days before he dumped you then blocked you he told you he loved you. It sounds as though this guy is more than a bit confused about what love is.

      He said he loved you but his actions speak louder than his words and they’re not loving actions. Either he was lying when he said he loved you or he’s lying now with his actions of cutting you off and out. Or maybe his love is very fickle and one minute he feels it and the next he doesn’t feel it anymore, and he’s so wrapped up in himself that he doesn’t care how it affects you. If he suddenly decides he loves you again does he expect you to forget the way that he has treated you.

      The way that he has behaved is sending a very clear message about himself – and it is about him, not about you even if what he’s doing makes it feel as though it is about you.

      Feeling confused, hurt and at a loss as to what to do is normal and natural in this kind of situation.

      When someone you care about does something which does not reflect what they’ve been telling you, and in fact seems to be the exact opposite of what they’ve said, and they give you no explanation nor do they allow you to discuss the matter, have your say, it can leave you hanging in the worst way.

      It is very frustrating not being able to get closure, and to have your say in the matter. However at this time it’s probably best to accept that this guy does not want to hear you out – if he did he’d have met up with you in person to discuss your relationship. The way he dumped you and especially the blocking is a loud – I don’t want to talk about this, and definitely don’t want to give you the chance to say anything. His blocking is a way of telling you he’s not interested in listening. So even if you got the chance to speak with him, his ears would be blocked to your voice. And trying to force the issue right now would make the situation even more confusing and hurtful for you.

      From an astrological angle, just using Sun signs… Sun signs are just a rough guide to possible behaviours of a person with that sign. Each person of that sign has their own way of expressing that sign (and a whole natal chart which includes all the other signs within it and placements within that natal chart make a big difference to how they express their sun sign)

      You might find these recent articles about relationship astrology worth reading:

      http://sasstrology.com/2016/02/which-signs-are-more-likely-to-ghost-you.html

      http://sasstrology.com/2016/02/how-each-sign-handles-being-ghosted.html

      Both articles have a section on Capricorns, and Libras.

      With you being a Libra, fairness in relationships is very important to you, and when there is unfairness (as there is now) you may go out of your way to right a wrong, to try to get the other person to see that they’re being unfair… or if you think you’re the one who has maybe been unfair you might be tempted to make compromises, bend over backwards for others, give more to others than they give to you.

      With him being a Capricorn – once a Capricorn has cut you off, trying to push through a Capricorn’s wall when they build one between you and them will convince them that they were right to build the wall. Capricorns have a phobia about emotions, and the more immature that a Capricorn is the more they’ll run away from having to deal with emotions, their own and especially that of others.

      My suggestion would be to not try to force the issue. He doesn’t want to talk about it and getting him to talk will make him behave even worse than he already has. He’s afraid of you right now and is hiding from you.

      If you need to get a message across to him – If you have mutual friends, let gossip give him the message for you. Admit to being hurt, but keep it short, simple, and do it in a dignified manner. Capricorns find those who handle themselves in a dignified way very attractive. He’ll admire your self-respect and self-control, and he may wish he’d treated you more respectfully, regret the way he behaved… which may inspire him to approach you to talk things through. But don’t hold your breath waiting. It could take ages for him to do that, and he may never do it.

      You deserve someone who treats you with respect, and the way you find someone like that is to respect yourself. Don’t chase after this guy, he doesn’t deserve to be chased by you.

      Take good care of yourself!

      Like

  23. Im with capricorn n im cancer..sometimes i feel he dont care how i feel..his comments to hars for me..i love him dearly n he said same but sometimes he said stuff n not reflect love at all

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    • Cancer with Capricorn is a relationship between opposing signs in astrology. Opposing signs tend to have a part of each other within them, but that part is often hidden or repressed, subconscious, etc. So it’s a case of similarities which often conflict with each other as differences. The two signs have a lot in common but express those things in common very differently.

      Capricorn and Cancer’s approach to the world of feeling and emotion is very different, pretty much on opposite sides of the spectrum of perception.

      Cancerians tend to openly express every emotional fluctuation and feeling that they have, and they feel that others should care about their every feeling. Capricorns tend to keep their feelings to themselves and don’t think that their emotions/feelings are anyone else’s business or responsibility.

      When a Capricorn and Cancer are in a relationship you will tend to get a meeting of similarities which then clash and cause irreconcilable differences. Much depends on the rest of the individual natal charts as to how this plays out and whether the relationship works or ends up not working.

      To understand your relationship using astrology you’ll need to go further than just the Sun signs. Sun signs are just a small portion of a whole and will only give you a generalised view of the ego (the Sun represents ego in astrology).

      The way a Capricorn loves is never in an obvious manner, so don’t expect a really romantic film or novel kind of Valentine’s Day from a Capricorn. If they do the whole roses and chocolates, trip to Paris, etc, thing then they’re making an effort which may be exhausting for them but they know you need this. It’ll only happen once in a blue moon unless they have a natal chart which supports this as a regular occurrence.

      Look at their Moon, Venus and Mars sign, and things like what sign is on their 5th and 7th house cusp (and any planets in those houses, and aspects).

      If a Capricorn loves you, and has gone as far as admitting it, told you they love you – that’s about as romantic and shary-feely as it gets. A Capricorn mostly only says ‘I love you’ when they mean it, and once they’ve said it once you’d better remember it because they may not say it again, not with words or stereotypical romantic gestures. How they love tends to be very practical and earthy, and may not be viewed as love at all by those who think love is expressed in flowers and flights of fancy.

      Capricorns can sometimes be harsh to those they love, they’re harsh with themselves, they deal in blunt reality.

      It’s not easy being loved by a Capricorn, and not easy loving a Capricorn. I can totally understand that you might find a Capricorn’s version of love unsatisfying.

      It’s most likely not going to change – stability is a Capricorn thing, and is sometimes their way of expressing love. It can be viewed as a rather staid and boring kind of love. There for you but not sweeping you off your feet with grand gestures of romance and such. They’re just there for you, but not always in the way that you want them to be – a Capricorn will rarely if ever be who you want them to be or do what you want them to do. Don’t try to change a Capricorn, it’s a waste of time. They’re Saturn ruled.

      Get used to the way they are, love them as they are, and learn to recognise the signs of their love for you which can be very subtle and not necessarily what you want in the way of being and feeling loved. If you can’t do that pick a more expressive sign with which to fall in love, like a Leo or a Sagittarius (I know a lot of Cancerians who have found love with Sagittarians and lived happily and passionately ever after).

      Bets wishes!

      You might find this astrology blog helpful – http://sasstrology.com/ – for further questions.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. I want to thank you so so so much for writing everything on your blog! You have helped me understand my sweet heart in a whole new different way! Had I even known anything about his capricorn sign, we wouldnt have had so much tumult in our relationship. We are deeply devoted to preserving our friendship and relationship. We shoulder one anothers burdens and we never give up on us. He has the coolest sense of humor, I can’t even describe how he makes me laugh and smile. I am a fellow scorpio woman and I’m really grateful for this sign for being steady, wise and reliable. Thank you soo soo much again for writing and imparting the wisdom of capricorn !!!! Much Love and blessings to you. xoxo

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    • Thank you very much πŸ™‚

      Scorpios and Capricorns tend to understand each other as both signs, although rather different, tend to have similar deep and intense values.

      Both signs can be rather awkward socially, thus the more social signs can find us a bit ‘harsh’ due to telling things as we see them and not playing the ‘small talk’ games. When a Scorpio or a Capricorn has nothing to say, they say nothing – which can be an uncomfortable silence. Or if someone goes and asks us – Do I look ‘fat’ in this? – they’re likely to get an honest opinion, and it will be underlined as an opinion and the person who asked has to decide for themselves whether it is a fact or not.

      It sounds as though you have one of those relationships which are rare and so incredibly lovely to have and to be in. Those kinds of relationships often are grafted out of the kind of tumult you mentioned. Experiencing it has made you both wiser the hands on and more precious way. Both of you now know that your love and friendship surpasses that kind of rocky and stormy sea. You’ve survived the storm. You know each other better because of it. Both Capricorn and Scorpio sometimes like going through a storm, which is just as well as storms are a regular part of life, living, being human, and seem to come with being born under a challenging sign.

      Bets wishes on a long and beautiful relationship experience and evolution ❀

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  25. I think capricorn are very sweet kind people who are incredible. They are often misunderstood. I have dealt with a lot of capricorn who are just very real.if everyone could have what capricorn have the world would be a better place.

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  26. I would love your thoughts and advice on this. I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years with a Capricorn (I’m a Sagittarius). It hasn’t always been the smoothest ride, but we both love each other very much and I honestly would not want any other man. He has been, as Caps do, working very hard and stressed for the past few months. Anyway, the other day, we were going on a long drive, he reacted unfavourably to something small, and I overreacted in return, crying and yelling. (I think all the emotion came from somewhere else because it was not proportional to the situation.) He got very mad and has been giving me the silent treatment since.

    It’s been a hard situation to navigate because of the holidays. I want to give him space, but I’ve sent him messages on Christmas, New Year’s, and his birthday (even if he ignores them, I’d feel bad not reaching out – we’ve been together 7 years). He hasn’t told me we’re broken up, but he’s only sent me very limited contact. What should I do? I love him so much, but I’m worried I’ve ruined things.

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      7 years is a long time to be together, and shows that your Capricorn is as invested in your relationship as you are, so… what’s going on?

      You mentioned that he has been working very hard and has been stressed for several months. A stressed out and overworked Capricorn can be like a ticking bomb. And astrologically all Capricorns are being pressured by major transits, Uranus in Aries squaring the sign and Pluto in Capricorn causing major changes in typical Pluto style which can be destructive at times, and most recently Mars (the planet voted most likely to cause an argument) was in Libra opposing Uranus and squaring Pluto – any sensitive areas and vulnerabilities would have been poked and provoked no matter what you said or did or how contained he might be.

      The incident on the long drive sounds like a case of stress leaking out through a ‘small’ hole in his Cappy carapace – the sign can get rather bitchy when stressed, picking at tiny things which are never what it’s about, those are the cracks in the armor. The small thing if it is tapped into can cause an earthquake which makes the whole situation blow open. After an explosion like that Capricorns often retreat, emotions unleashed and exposed tend to overwhelm them, terrify them due to the vulnerability it makes them feel, and a long time out is needed. The silent treatment isn’t for you, it’s for him. Don’t take it personally even if it feels personal – it’s personal to him, he’s probably really embarrassed and doesn’t know how to make amends while also saving face. He’s a male Cappy – the pride is strong and often gets in the way.

      Have you examined your own side of the incident for your own sake. It’s truly lovely that you’re worried about how your reaction affected him, but – What’s going on with you? Your observation that – “I think all the emotion came from somewhere else because it was not proportional to the situation” – needs some careful examination. You need to be considerate of yourself. When you ‘overreacted’ what did you reveal about yourself? And is your worry only about him or is it also about you? How are you? What are you feeling? What should he do for you?

      Shouldn’t he be worried too that he’s ruined things with someone he loves? My guess is he probably is but he’s dealing with it in typical Cappy style which is ignoring what he cares most about because it’s too intense for him to be cool about it. Capricorns are prone to a sort of reverse psychology of caring when they care too much. If he isn’t worried, then he should be because you’re awesome.

      You’ve given him space, have been considerate about his needs and feelings, and been really wonderful about it considering that you were upset too by what happened.

      Astrologically transiting Saturn has just entered your sign, Sagittarius, so you might find yourself feeling more serious, weighed down a bit more by matters which perhaps before you were not so worried about, and focused on the long term, on what you want for your future. You may also find that your attention will be turned to issues of self-respect and the need to make sure you’re getting that respect from both yourself and others.

      So, what would you like to do? What would you do if you weren’t worried? How would you handle this situation if you could just do what pleased you?

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      • It’s just very hard to navigate. Being a Sag, I tend to forgive fairly easily and quickly (I of course get angry more often than he does too). I apologized the next day and I don’t want things to end. I also feel like it’s a bit unfair to keep me waiting to talk, or force me to be the one to reach out – it makes me feel like it doesn’t make a difference to him.

        If I could just do what pleased me, we would just clear the air. It’s funny that you talk about self-respect; it hurts my feelings that he doesn’t seem in any rush to see me or talk to me after two weeks. Also, I mentioned how hard he’s been working; he basically said he had the most stressful week of his life before this all happened, which of course makes me want to cut him some slack. On the other hand, I think that also explains why I overreacted – living and working with someone that stressed out has its side effects.

        I should say that before this big blow-up, he was an amazing boyfriend. Very considerate and kind and generous and doting. So him going from that kind of loving situation to not making any effort to talk to me has me very sad/troubled. It’s like night and day.

        Do you think I should continue to leave him alone and he will approach me eventually? Should I address the situation or just sweep it under the rug? He honestly hasn’t given me a silent treatment like this in upwards of three or four years, so it’s not typical for him, but it still has me worried that this is either going to be a new pattern or he won’t get back to normal.

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        • I’m not sure what to advise.

          I would recommend reading jacquelyn’s comments on this post (which are just below yours), as she is also a Sagittarius in a relationship with a Capricorn.

          Sun sign astrology can only give a vague outline of a person, a sketch of personality and tendencies, using the rest of the chart can give more information – for instance, a person’s Moon sign will give insight into their emotional nature and how they handle their feelings, a Capricorn with Moon in Virgo (like me) will deal with emotions differently from Capricorn with a different Moon. I keep my emotions to myself and refuse to talk about them until I’ve analysed them which is a Virgo thing to do. Astrology is useful, can explain things, give a new perspective, but ultimately each person is unique and individual, and you have to know them, their life, their experiences, to know what’s going on with them.

          Since I don’t know him other than through what you have told me of him, I can only hazard a guess at what’s going on with him – to me it sounds like he’s experiencing a personal crisis and doesn’t want to talk about it, and maybe he felt that he revealed too much to you on the long drive about something which is deeply painful and personal, he’s feeling raw and exposed, and so he’s avoiding you not because of you but because he’s embarrassed or something along those lines. But that is just a guess.

          He’s also a man, and men tend to retreat into their caves when they’re hurting to heal their wounds on their own. They don’t communicate their pain the way that women do – women tend to seek out company to talk things through when they’re hurting, men usually do the opposite. Men don’t feel the need to talk things through, and may retreat further into their cave if a woman tries to make them talk about it. They’ll talk about it if and when they’re ready, or they may never say another word about it ever, and they’ll move on as though nothing happened and hope you do too. When a man says he doesn’t want to talk about it, he means it, he’s not saying that the way that women do, he doesn’t want you to try and get him to talk about it, he really does not want to discuss it and it’s best to move on to another subject or silence. Which can be difficult if you do want to discuss it and he doesn’t – but you won’t get anywhere forcing the issue, he’ll only get more entrenched in his position.

          Finding a solution which suits both of you is always complex if your styles of dealing with things differ.

          It’s good to be considerate about another person’s feelings and needs, make compromises, but you have to be careful not to lose yourself to them in the process. You have to be equally considerate of yourself as you are with them. Sometimes the solution to a relationship problem is doing the very thing you’re not doing, the thing you want to do but aren’t doing because you’ve told yourself not to do it because they don’t like it and you’re worried about what will happen if you do it. This sort of scenario can fester and can lead to a bigger mess than the original problem.

          What happened the last time he did the silent treatment with you? How did you resolve it then?

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          • If it’s alright, I’d like to reply to this post from Worried. If it’s too much, please feel free to delete my comment.

            Since Worried posted her initial concern here, I’ve thought about it off and on. It must be a little different after having been living together for such a long time with a Capricorn, versus my own relatively short experience with one. I’ve been with my current Cappie for just about 9 months or so, and much of that time has been long distance. However, I also have about 10 years of marriage under my belt for experience, and I have learned a lot from that. My dad is also a family, child, marriage and divorce counselor, PSYD, so I’ve grown up with all the talk on the matter, which I like to think lends a little additional understanding in the realm of communications and conflict management -though we’re all human and have trouble with those things at least some of the time.

            So please,let me begin by saying this, in regards to being a Sagittarius. From my own experiences, I do think that we like to butt heads and assert ourselves in an overbearing way, at times.. We have strong passionate energy, and sometimes our fiery attitudes can let loose in the wrong way. But we’re all still human, so that’s ok. I’m sure he understands you and your expression enough and love you for who you are, and realizes that the kind of relationship you have together is something worth working hard at.

            As for Capricorns, I feel like Cappie emotion runs deep and personal, especially around those they love. They seem to care immensely what others think of them and so when a loved one lashes out at them, I feel like they may take it twice as hard because that person is part of their very own heart. I think they have amazing endurance though,.. enduring patience, enduring feelings. I think it would be difficult to push a cappie to the point of no return (as in never speak to you or want you in his life again).

            The more I think about it though, the more I seem to think of this issue between the two of you is less of anything to do with the Signs, but more to do with his Masculine Ego. Cappies may deal with their own emotions and thoughts in their own way, distinctive from other signs, but just as UpturnedSoul suggested, he’s a man at the core, and men have fragile egos and need to feel respected. And when they do not, they retreat in order to figure things out. Then, when they are ready, they re-emerge to resolve the issue. Just as UpturnedSoul said, that is essentially how all men handle conflict. They have to retreat first. Sort things out. And then come back to it once they think things through.

            Men, more than women, also need to feel respected in order to feel loved. For men, Respect is equated with Love, or is even MORE important. And when a man does not feel respected by HIS Woman, then it is like a sword through the heart of him, and gradually weakens him, makes him feel less like the man he aspires to be, and then eventually he’ll drift away and lose positive emotion for that person.

            ***PLEASE NOTE. from my own experience in marriage, one of the greatest lessons I took away from it was that sometimes men need to have their feelings validated by their significant other, even if she doesn’t agree with him. If he’s having a hard day, overreacts to something and is upset… let him feel that way for a little while, agree with him that the situation is unfair and difficult, but that he’s doing well to be strong through it, and you have faith in the fact that he’ll find a way to handle it. Or perhaps offer that you can work out a solution together. But it’s ok for them to feel upset, without us telling them they can’t have those feelings.
            THEN,.. when they’ve cooled down a little and know that the ONE they LOVE is still loving them, we can kindly make suggestions of our own; at which point they’ll be far more receptive to. .. But First we showed respect and validated that it’s ok to be upset sometimes bc he’s really stressed. Then offer assistance and suggestions when he’s back to his right of mind and ready to go back to the drawing board to work out solutions.
            The fact that we can be there with them, respecting them through all ranges of emotions that we all feel, and supporting them, is invaluable to them, and that is a great way to show love to them. Sometimes it is difficult though. Especially as a Sagittarius. We ALWAYS want to be happy and optimistic. But honestly we can’t always have great happiness, and it’s ok not to feel Sagittarius happy go lucky allll the time. Haha. πŸ˜‰

            As for his lack of communication with you, I’m not sure that his feelings may have changed for you necessarily. During my study abroad, I went from lots of communication with him, to almost nothing. First, it was every two weeks. Then once a month. Then I went almost two months without any word from him. He didn’t even READ my messages for a month and a half!. So, I stopped sending him any messages at all. Not for Christmas or Bday or New Years, or anything. After three weeks of no word from me, he messaged me back, but each time he has messaged me, no matter how long the duration, it seems pretty situation as normal with him. And this last time, the ‘tone’ of the text seemed like he was missing the attention. Haha. I’m just assuming he’s burying himself in his own business in order to keep his mind off of missing one another because he also realizes that nothing much more can happen in the relationship until I return from overseas.

            But, that aside, I feel like, with a Cappie man, the more you push them, sometimes the more they want to retreat and be stubborn.
            It’s hard for us because as Saggies we move so fast, and as women, we want an immediate resolution to the matter at hand. But we can’t always operate like that, even if it’s difficult for us. So I would exercise a little patience and let him handle things internally first, as he sees fit. When you are Respecting his need to do so, I feel like he will want to come back to you to rekindle things.

            I feel that in your particular situation, he may feel as though you weren’t respecting him in some way, when you guys had the little spat. If he felt like you aren’t “on his side”, being a warrior for him, like he wants to be a warrior for you, then maybe he’s trying to deal with those feelings. Unfortunately, I feel as though that is what came between my Ex and I leading up to our divorce -amoungst a couple other things. But I don’t think it’s something that cannot be fixed. It will just take a little looking at our own behaviour to decide how we can best support the man we love so much. Then he will want to always return the favour in kind. I’m sure he really really loves you and really wants to feel like you love and respect him too.

            If it’s any help, my dad suggested a book for me to read -which is very short and easy read, but with invaluable insights and wisdom as to the inner workings of men’s minds in relationships. πŸ˜‰ It is called “For Women Only.” You should be able to pick it up at any book store, or online pretty cheap.

            After reading it, I feel as though I understand a lot better what men are feeling in relationships, and how they handle relationships, emotions, etc. It’s quite different than women. Having that awareness and knowing how to respond to him in order to show him that you love him in a way he understands best, could be beneficial in the future. No matter what man you’re dealing with πŸ˜‰ All men have a fragile masculine ego around the women they love most. Because those women are the ones who they feel most validated by. Whether we know it or not, we have a huge influence on the condition of their hearts. In that sense, we have a lot more influence on them emotionally than we realize. Even if they don’t voice it,t hey are always looking to us for validation and respect and kind suggestions… and to be needed by us.

            It seems as though the conflict between you two wasn’t the kind of thing that perhaps would make him want to stop having a relationship with you. If that’s the case, then there’s some other underlying problem that needs to be found and addressed. Because, as reasonable and logical as Cappies are, unless that one spat was something that ‘put him over the edge’ so to speak, I can’t imagine a Cappie calling it quits after something relatively minor, even if he felt disrespected in that moment. I feel like Cappies understand large and significant concerns in life, and unless something relatively minor became an excuse for him to break up with you, it seems not very Cappie-like to put a stop to things at that point. From his actions, I feel like he’s probably feeling a little confused by your reaction to his reaction, and also maybe a little disrespected, because he may have been looking for your consolation and support/ validation, even if he had no reason to be like that. Like you said, he could have had a leak in his Cappie emotion shield, and was letting you see his momentary weakness. Then, when you didn’t respond how he anticipated, it threw him off balance a little. ??? I wonder if that’s the case???

            And on that note, what does your gut feeling tell you about the situation? Are there other larger concerns between the two of you? If you really don’t think so, then I would let him know you’ll Respect his need to handle things internally, and when he’s ready, let HIM set the time for getting back together/ resolving things, etc. Short and simple, neutral text that is non-confrontational/ non-accusing. Whatever you think may pertain to your situation. Then I would not message him again until he indicates that he’s ready to come back together again.

            That may be difficult, but I think that is probably what I would do. Be advised, I don’t know everything about the situation you are in, so I cannot say for sure that this is best.. but from what you have told here, to me, it seems a reasonable course of action.

            Best Wishes ❀

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            • First of all, thank you both (jacquelyn and Upturned) for taking the time to write such thoughtful responses! You both are so comforting and insightful in your words.

              If it helps give any insight, his moon is in Leo, his Venus in Aquarius, and his Mars is in Virgo. Meanwhile, my moon is in Gemini, my Venus in Scorpio and my Mars in Pisces.

              We talked briefly online, and he was definitely still lukewarm, so I am leaving him alone until he’s ready. You’re right that he feels disrespected and undeserving of the way I reacted to him (and I agree, things did blow up far more than they needed to). The last time he did the silent treatment was probably 3 years ago, during a rough patch in the relationship. It’s hard to remember how I dealt with it, but probably not well πŸ™‚ I think that’s why I’m paranoid right now. I guess I find it hard to believe that someone can call you the “love of his life” but then not make an effort to talk for 2-3 weeks. I guess I just want insight into how he’s processing things. He’s said that he hasn’t even had time to wrap his head around the fight, but that makes it feel like he’s not making an effort – after all, it’s been almost 3 weeks now.

              I’ll look into the book Jacquelyn recommended. It’s comforting to know that this disappearing act isn’t unique to my situation. I’d love your thoughts if you can make any more sense from this, but otherwise I’m just going to let go and see what happens. I feel like, while I messed up in my reaction, I’ve been very honest, patient, and apologetic since then – not much more that I can do.

              Thanks again for your help and advice! You’re both so kind πŸ™‚

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              • I’m sure Upturned has better insights to this than I do, but I do happen to have two Leo friends who are both Venus in Virgo (which can act similarly at times to Mars in Virgo) who I’ve been watching date for the last couple of months, and I can tell you that Leo signs like attention from their significant other, and they really need reassurance. A LOT of reassurance that a person likes them in a relationship. Like.. for me, sometimes unnecessarily high reassurances. Leo also signifies very high pride, and that pride can more easily be hurt than some other signs. So, your Cappie’s Leo Moon pride may be hurting, and he may have just momentarily felt like he wasn’t getting that reassurance he needed in order to know his relationship was stable.
                The really sublime thing about Leos though (be it Sun, Moon or Rising), from my experience, is that they LOVE to reciprocate affection to a partner. They like to be the giver as much as the receiver, in a relationship, so the partner will feel just as satisfied in a relationship.

                I think as a Saggie, that Leo energy is sometimes hard for us to understand, because we don’t care all that much what people think of us..Our confidence is generally through the roof; no one can get us down. If someone don’t like it, well they can just move on over and we’ll find another friend who’s OK with it! That’s our general attitude. But Leo pride is not like that.

                Back to Cappies though, I feel like they are capable of sticking to a relationship even if it causes them pain and suffering, because it’s hard work to them, like anything else in life worth striving for. But Venus in Scorpio is a little the same.. Willing to suffer and have pain in love. That being the case, he may just be being sensitive right now, and I wouldn’t worry so much. Just give him that reassurance and then let him decide when he’s had enough time to work things out in his head so that he can come back to you to resolve the issue when he’s ready. From my experience with my Cappie, 2-3 weeks is literally no time at all, even when everything’s situation-normal, sometimes. Which drives me crazy!

                From personal experience, Venus in Scorpio can worry a lot about their relationships and also needs a lot of reassurance, because the depth of emotion we pour into a relationship is extreme and all-consuming. But we just have to sometimes let the Cappie take things into his own hands and trust in him. I feel like I’ve had to do that a lot in my relationship with my Cappie simply because their lives move at a slower, steadier pace. And sometimes it hurts because I don’t always get the reassurances and communication I am used to getting from someone, but then..my Cappie’s never done me wrong, yet, .. And I told him I wanted to trust him,… so I need to hold up to my word and ACT like I trust him by doing just that. Letting him handle things at his own pace. It’s really hard. Haha. It’s taken me a lot of ‘getting used to’, learning how to handle a Cappie methodology. πŸ˜‰

                However I’ve also learned that there’s just no budging a Cappie when they’re not ready to do something. It’s kind of like trying to push a bull through quicksand.. or something like that? (But I can kind of empathize there, with my Moon in Taurus, I think. My moon in Taurus says: bull+quicksand=lolthat’sme.). Anyway,Cappies, from what I can tell, don’t like being pressured, so better to let them handle it on their own and give them the space/ time to sort things out in their own way.

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              • Messing up in reactions is normal and natural so don’t be hard on yourself for that and don’t be overly concerned about it. It’s good to acknowledge it, openly admitting to it can sometimes be the solution. I’ve found that when I’ve said or done something hurtful or messed up, fessing up to it can ease the consequences of it as long as I do it without feeling the need to justify what I said or did in the moment.

                We create more problems for ourselves and others, and relationships, when we try to clean up our messes, sometimes just saying – this is a fine mess we’ve gotten ourselves into – is all the tidying up that is needed.

                You had a fight, you both acknowledge it, and you both said and did things you probably regret now the passion of the moment has worn off. What do you each individually need to move on from that moment and progress in your relationship.

                You’ve been together for a long time so your relationship is important to both of you. What did this fight show you separately and together about each other, yourselves, and all the threads which go from there.

                Our interactions with others show us how we relate to ourselves. If we have a problem with someone else it can tie into a problem we have with ourselves. And it sometimes highlights past relationships, issues and the things which we carry with us from relationship to relationship until we sort them out within ourselves – often due to being forced to face them in a present relationship scenario.

                Ask yourself – What am I really worried about and why?

                Is this really about him or something/someone else? Does this scenario relate to a scenario from a past before he was in the picture?

                You said this – “I feel like, while I messed up in my reaction, I’ve been very honest, patient, and apologetic since then – not much more that I can do.”

                This is good, however there seems to be a ‘but’ in there somewhere… such as – you’ve been very honest, patient and apologetic BUT he hasn’t.

                How much of your worry is caused by – him messing up in his reaction to the fight – which is basically what he’s doing for you with this silent treatment and his delay in ‘wrapping his head around the fight’.

                Relationships are a mess, the tidy version of them is the stuff of fiction. You’re okay, he’s okay, now you just need to be okay together… what would that take from both of you? What do you need from him and what does he need from you? Perhaps what you both need is to know that even though you’ve both messed up in your reactions, you’re both okay separately and together. Or perhaps you both need to separately look at what this fight has highlighted – you’re okay but you’ve got some things which aren’t okay for you and they may be connected to your relationship or be something that connects elsewhere.

                I wonder if perhaps he’s not happy with his work – that can be a major issue for Capricorns. And everyone in general. If we’ve worked our butt off to succeed in our chosen career and even when we get a success it doesn’t satisfy, then that can open a can of worms of issues which leak into everything, including our relationships.

                Your combined astro is intriguing – Moons are compatible. Leo Moon can be very dramatic where emotions are concerned, but may also get over them rather quickly once they’ve expressed them and don’t like to be reminded of tantrums and tiaras thrown. Gemini Moon doesn’t mind looking the other way and pretending nothing happened, however I would recommend looking further into your Moon sign as Moon in Gemini loves communication, needs it in love, and so a lack of it would trigger uncomfortable emotions.

                With Mars and Venus what astrologers focusing on relationships usually do is compare and contrast – so you look at your Mars with his Venus, and his Mars with your Venus to see how they interact rather than looking at how your Venus’ and Mars’ interact (although that can also be insightful and in your case they’re square and opposed, so your passions and loves may be at odds, but this can actually enhance your interactions through creative friction).

                His Venus in Aquarius can make him hard to pin down and prone to detachment (to the point of floating above feeling) which your Mars in Pisces would understand as it has a similar elusive quality, and he would find your elusiveness very attractive.

                Your Venus in Scorpio will fascinate his Mars in Virgo, and the orderly strength of Mars in Virgo will appeal to Venus in Scorpio as it gives the impression of contained intensity which is catnip to Scorpio.

                For more on Venus/Mars and Moon combos, this is a good sight – http://sasstrology.com/

                Keep in mind that all Capricorn Suns are dealing with the transit of Pluto through their sign (and also a slowly ebbing square from Uranus in Aries), so we’re all a bit more unpredictable than usual and may self-destruct as part of a personal redesign.

                Check his chart to see where this transit is happening, the house and what it is aspecting (you can use astro.com to figure it out)

                He may be going through a personal deep upheaval which he only admitted to himself when he exposed his feelings with you. Maybe the fight showed him something about himself which he isn’t quite ready to absorb and deal with. Perhaps he wants to change an aspect of his life but he’s not ready to take the leap (and I don’t mean his relationship with you, I’m thinking career-wise as you mentioned that he was very stressed about his work before the fight).

                I think his silence is reflective of his need to self-reflect and that’s what he is avoiding.

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                • Hello I just found your blog while trying to understand why my Capricorn acted the way he did lately. I enjoyed reading your comments and I agree while I’m trying to understand his actions I was looking into my own actions. I like and tend to analyse every situation like he once said I over analyse. I am a Leo and been working with that Capricorn for years. But early last year we started a relationship, we enjoy each other’s company and I love listening to him talk, he is very interesting, intelligent, we were so happy and he said that I made him happy. The problem was and is he is married and has 2 kids, he and his wife grew a part as another old friend confirmed, we had great time but I always asked if we could meet. In September he undergone a surgery and was ill for a while when he came back we met again and he had very bad headache while making love. We were both shaking by the experience. Things started to go wrong. He is very unfit after the operation and often having migraines, but at the same time he doesn’t want to go to the gym, and keep saying that he will go when his ready to go and that he has a lot at work and at home, having to spend more time with the kids. I try to help but he started to distance himself from me. Last Tuesday I became angry and wanted to know what is going on. He said that he can’t handle the stress and that it is doing his heading trying to make happy and can’t deal with his daughter who is 18 years old by the way and going to be leaving home to university next September question every time he stays late after work he can’t tell her that he is going for a drink with a female colleague. He though would like us to be friends as he enjoys my friendship and would be lying if he doesn’t enjoy being with me. But he can’t find the time right now to be with me or go for a drink with the stress at work and at home. He doesn’t know what will happen in the future. I was shocked, hurt, but promised that I won’t put under pressure. He still chats to me and say GN with a kiss every night. You might think that I am crazy by being so understanding and that I should stop chatting to him and not have anything to do with him. But I can’t, I still care about him a lot. I just keep asking myself why doesn’t he stop. I need help please,

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                  • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

                    As I’m sure you’re aware getting involved romantically with someone who is married, even if they’re separated from their spouse, is going to create extra complications in a relationship as the person will always be caught between two loves, attached to both yet never fully there for either of those loves.

                    From the sounds of it, he enjoys the special friendship which he has with you, it nourishes a part of him which perhaps feels neglected in his marriage. You make him feel alive in a way that he doesn’t feel with anyone else. However he also gets something from his marriage which nourishes him in some way and he is not willing to let go of either you or his wife. He is being rather selfish in his relationships, and basically wants the best of both relationships, to have both you and his wife in his life and he likes things as they are. This is great for him, but not particularly great for you or his wife as you’re both being kept on hold until he wants to spend time with you.

                    I wonder if his daughter knows about your relationship. Children often notice things which parents think they’ve managed to keep hidden, and since she’s 18 she may be more aware than he is willing to admit to himself. If she does know and has confronted him about it it may explain part of the stress he is talking about. His health will also have a lot to do with how he is behaving.

                    I don’t think you’re being crazy by being understanding, that’s a normal part of caring for someone and wanting to be with them. I do however think that what you said – “You might think that I am crazy by being so understanding and that I should stop chatting to him and not have anything to do with him. But I can’t, I still care about him a lot. I just keep asking myself why doesn’t he stop.” – shows an inner argument which you’re having with yourself. Part of you wants you to stop, but part of you just can’t, and so you’re hoping that he’ll be the one to end things or solve the situation in some way so that you can stop feeling internally conflicted.

                    It sounds as though he’s already made a decision and that is to keep things exactly as they are in a way that suits him. He contacts you when he needs you, sees you when he wants to, he sets the tone for how you interact, he’s controlling your relationship dynamic and he seems to be using his health as a means to do that and keep everyone in the place where he wants them, and as long as you’re willing to accept that he’ll think it’s okay with you. If you want things to change you’re going to have to change them yourself, I realise that’s a difficult decision to make but in this scenario the only one capable of helping you is yourself as this is personal to you and you are the one with the personal power in your life and relationships.

                    Astrologically all Capricorns are going through a major Pluto transit and that will affect all those with whom they are in a relationship. Pluto transits are not pretty and often involve some form of destructive behaviour. Capricorns tend to be rather resistant to change, and Pluto always demands that a change happens.

                    Leo and Capricorn can be a good match, although there are often ego clashes between the two signs as they both think they know what is best, that they’re right, and neither finds it easy to admit when they’re wrong. Capricorn benefits a lot from Leo’s vibrant energy, personality and optimism, if any sign can get a Capricorn to smile more and stop being so serious and grumpy, it’s a Leo. However Leo has to be careful that their bubbly nature doesn’t end up being bottled up by the Capricorn.

                    As a Leo you need to pay attention to what makes you happy, and be aware of what starts to eat away at your happiness. Be careful of thorns in your paws.

                    Take good care of yourself, and best wishes!

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                    • Thanks a lot for your comment. I enjoyed reading it. It was very helpful. Yes you’re right about many aspects. I totally agree with you that he is a bit selfish and got me where he wants within relationship where it suits him. But I don’t that very bad, aren’t we all a bit selfish and it is good to be a bit selfish, I think.. What I can’t understand, he knows very well that he needs to change, he needs to care for his health, it took him a month to go to see a doctor for his ear and sinuses problems. He is unfit especially after his operation but still doesn’t want to do something about it. He knows that I am right when I say that he needs to exercise again and build his stamina, but he get angry when I try and book him a gym session and keep saying he will do it in his own time. He is straggling to do any changes. He keeps saying he is unhappy and that he didn’t have migraines when he was north visiting his father but he got them straight when he returned back home. I ask myself why is he resisting change like that. As you say Capricorn don’t like change and that the more I try and force my way into his life even if it is a good change if he is not ready, the more he will block me. I care about him a lot and though I am a Leo who they most of the time don’t like to admit defeat or that they are wrong. I am ready to accept that my way is not correct and to give him his space. I just hope that he would do the right thing for himself and change things so he can be happy and healthy. I want him to have more joy in his life, I want to help him so much to not only work hard and care about responsibilities but as well to have fun in his life. I am a workaholic like him but I believe in playing as hard.
                      Can you explain why Capricorns forget to have fun and bring life in their years. Why do you Capricorns put so much weight on tradition and conventions, even if it makes you so unhappy. He said once to me that he wishes to be like me get up and walk when I feel like it. Though it is not fully true and that I can’t some time walk out of a situation when I feel like it. I take my responsibility seriously too. But I think I don’t resist changes in the same way as he does.
                      I love to understand people and why they behave the way they behave, but as well I want to understand Capricorns more. You are correct it is up to me to change things in the relationship, but at the moment I want to be his friend and see how it will go. When we first got together he was more cheerful, he looked happy, was not as stressed but with time he started to struggle and keeps not knowing how to change the situation, I think he feels stuck and these days since the new year he is finding it more difficult and more resistant.
                      I like your blog. I think it’s helping me. So please keep letting me what you think .
                      Thanks again

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                    • If you want to understand your Capricorn using astrology, then I’d recommend moving away from just a Sun sign perspective and exploring his whole chart, both natal and through transits, and also looking into the synastry between your chart and his. Sun signs are just a fraction of a whole, and mostly the information you’ll find is generalised, one size designed to fit all, which leaves out the individual side of it.

                      This is a good website for looking further into the chart and exploring relationships using astro – http://sasstrology.com/ – they featured this article awhile back which you might find interesting – http://sasstrology.com/2015/08/dealing-with-your-aloof-capricorn-partner.html – it’s written by a very good astrologer who has a blog of her own – http://rubyslipper.ca/ruby-slipper-astrology/

                      One thing which most Capricorns seem to share is being misunderstood – sometimes for a Capricorn sun being unhappy makes us happy, it gives us a strange kind of satisfaction and pleasure, and so what others think makes us unhappy is actually not making us unhappy at all, we enjoy being grumpy, burdened by responsibility and being stoic about it. A lot of the struggle people see when they look at a Capricorn is the part of an experience which a Capricorn may enjoy the most.

                      If something is too easy I will actually go out of my way to make it harder and therefore more challenging, our sign is designed to climb mountains while dragging a fish tail behind us.

                      Your Capricorn does sound as though he’s being a typical Capricorn, and also a typical man (Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders), however I would recommend exploring the rest of his chart too and exploring your own at the same time, as you may find it gives you the insights you’re after more than just reading up on the Sun sign.

                      If you just want to explore the Sun sign, then I’d recommend checking out celebrities who are Capricorns, read their bios, interviews, see their films, listen to their music, read their books, poetry, etc. It’s a fun way to learn about a Sun sign and also about people πŸ™‚

                      Best wishes!

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  27. I stumbled across this page just browsing around google and agree I’m a little saddened by some of the ‘negative’ feeling toward Cappies. ^.^ Though i feel like maybe that has a little to do with people’s general love/hate relationship with Cappie ruling planet Saturn and what effects it can have on our lives. Haha. Anyway, I am in a deep relationship with a Cappie (Sun in Cap, Rising in Libra, Moon in Taurus, Merc in Cap, Mars in Libra, Venus in Aquarius, Jupiter in Scorpio) and just to hold up to comparison, I am a (Sun in Sag, Rising Libra, Moon in Taurus, Merc in Cap, Mars in Libra, Venus in Scorpio and Jupiter in Sag).. I was with one man for ten years and we were in a ‘good’ amicable relationship, married for a long time, but I have NEVER dated any man in my entire life who shows how much he values me as much as this dear warm-hearted Cappricorn of mine.

    Sure,he seems distant or detached.. I know he lives in his own thoughts as much as I do.. sure it took several weeks to see the first of his first barriers begin to melt away, and then months to see more and more barriers fall so that we could become even closer.. his barriers were so clear to me that i could almost tangibly feel and see and sense when he let me come a little closer.. a little closer.. a little closer into his heart, letting those walls fall one by one. But it’s always been worth the wait.. and I know that every time, it’s because he values me and he WANTS and CHOOSES for ME to be in his life.. and when he chooses to let me be part of his life, he MEANS it deeply. He has never yet said “i love you”. and to him I have only told him once.. but I reciprocate affection in the same kinds of ways he demonstrates it.. And the things he does and the few things says to indicate how much he likes me, those things are very clear and forward.. very decisive words or actions on his part. He goes above and beyond to SHOW in many little ways, sometimes very VERY subtle ways.. that he does have deep affection for me; but i know that that is something that is still growing and developing between us. And I have to let him set the pace.

    Many say that Cappies are cold… THIS CAPPIE is one of the WARMEST people that I know. You just have to know how to read between the lines a little more.. look at the behaviour a little more.. observe, watch.. appreciate them for who they are, and see the kinds of people they hang out with.. observe.. don’t judge a cappie by whether or not they’re the first person to bounce up to you singing songs and asking to be friends. That doens’t mean anything. As a Native Sagittarius I can tell you that, for a fact. I bounce up to be nosy about new people all the time, but everyone is held at arm’s distance and very few become real friends. A Cappie just doesn’t lead you on like a Saggie does lol. See, Saggies really are a terrible tease ;).

    Many say that Cappies are not romantic.. ESPECIALLY a Cappie with their VENUS in AQUARIUS, who are not supposed to be at all romantic in the typical sense.. they’re supposed to be very distant in romance! But let me tell you.. Flowers and poetry and sappy love songs don’t cut it in REAL LOVE.. Cappies know that. my Venus in Scorpio knows that hahah. We just want it REAL and raw.

    BUT let me tell you.. this Cappie with his Venus in Aquarius did the MOST romantic thing ever… all you ladies out there will swoooon at the romanticism but on the surface.. it was totally hidden.. on the surface.. it was a simple thing… on the surface, it didn’t appear to be anything.. it wasn’t flowers or candy on valentines or a ballad sung outside your window…

    You want to know what that most romantic thing was?>D of course you do..

    My Cappie-venus-in-aquarius had a picture frame hanging up on the wall at the place of his work, where people could walk by it every day.. maybe sometimes a hundred people..But that picture frame was empty…Maybe everyone just thought that someone forgot to put a picture in it or couldn’t decide what else to put there… but one day he took me to where that frame hung on the wall and he said “do you know why this frame is empty?It is empty because one day, this is where i will place a picture of my beautiful wife… there is a place for her here.. in my life.. in my heart.. waiting for her. I am preparing for her.”

    Do you know it took everything in me not to freaking cry just then!? It was the most DEEPLY romantic thing I’d ever witnessed..And he was letting me in on his hot little secret. A secret romantic in a way I would never have guessed! It wasn’t just an act of sweet romance… it was deeper love than that.. .he was showing that he was ALREADY thinking lovingly of that one person he would choose to spend the rest of his life with.. that he already put great value on that person even though perhaps he maybe didn’t know who she was yet..he already prepared a place in his own dominion for her to come into and occupy so that he could love her wholly, because he would find her completely worthy of the kind of love he had to give.

    THAT.. is BEAUTIFUL. If HE is any indicator of what kind of hidden love some Cappies have inside of them..then it’s just that.. hidden.. but because it is sacred and of great value and beauty.

    I did tell my wonderful Cappie that I would be envious of the woman who had her picture in that frame one day.. that if I could choose a favourite picture and frame in the entire building, it would be that one, empty picture frame. That one is my favourite.. and it isa picture frame that I want to be just for me one day. Because, for that kind of deep and devoted love, (and the wonderful hard-won smiles πŸ˜‰ ) I would wait on a Cappie patiently, and let them retreat when they needed to be alone in thoughts to sort their business out. And I would find humour in the fact that so many other people couldn’t figure him out, or think he must be cold toward me because he doesn’t like holding hands in public or gets busy and trapped in his thoughts a lot.. But in reality, we have one another wrapped tightly within the warmest confines of our hearts where a beautiful love can be safe and protected within the intimate privacy we share. I have never felt more valued, more loved, more secure.. than with my Capricorn. ❀ πŸ˜‰

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    • Thank you very much for sharing πŸ™‚

      Wow! That’s awesome! Your Capricorn is very lucky to know you and have you in his life! You are a truly beautiful soul πŸ™‚

      Looking at his and your astro, there are so many similarities between your charts you could be considered astro-twins, which does make a difference as it allows for unspoken communication and understanding. Your Mercury in Capricorn gives you an affinity for the sign, and lets you see beyond the superficial which, as you wonderfully pointed out, is essential when trying to understand natives of Capricorn.

      Capricorns tend to pay attention to how people deal with surface appearances, and are looking for those who are willing to explore what lies beneath and beyond the surface. The story of the empty frame is an example of that – I would hazard a guess that he enjoys observing the reactions of others to it, and learns a lot about them from their perspective of it. It’s actually a rather Zen practice to have an empty place and see what people choose to fill it with. His own perspective of it is reflective of his Taurus Moon (which would bring a deep warmth to his emotional nature), as well as his Venus in Aquarius (the love of the unusual and different), and his Libra rising (an appreciation for the many aspects of beauty in relationship).

      I read years ago in an old astrology book that when two signs next to each other on the zodiac wheel are in a relationship they are mutually beneficial to each other. Sagittarius’ bounce and enthusiasm is always appreciated by Capricorns who can get very serious and need to be reminded that being alive is fun too, an adventure to be shared. I’m sure he would wax lyrical (if Capricorns did that kind of thing) about you, reveal all the ways that he is in awe of your beauty and spirit, in the way that you have about him. The two of you have an inspiring relationship!

      Best wishes and blessings ❀

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      • !! You’re such a sweetheart with all the kind words ^.^ I really appreciate the wonderful sentiments.

        Interesting insight with the mercury in Capricorn actually giving more insight to that particular sign.

        I haven’t read really, about ‘astro-twins’, but that seems very interesting. The same with the signs next to each other being mutually beneficial in some way to one another. I could see that being a definite possibility. I Have read before, that Cappies tend to be attracted to those who can bring out the silliness in them and make them smile sometimes ^.^ I do win smiles from him quite frequently. Haha. I think he really isn’t sure what to do with my Saggie energy though. There’s been a couple of times he’s told me to calm myself down, though I think he finds it either amusing, endearing or pleasing (because I’m so happy to see him!) when I am that way around him in private. I was so happy to see him once, that I bounced up to him so fast, with so much energy, he must have thought I was going to roll right over him, because he threw his hands out in front of him like he though I was going to attack! lol. … Saggie energy+venus-scorpio obsession=Cappie getting pounced upon unsuspectingly? Well…. for me, that might be fun, but I am careful to pull the reins in when I’m around him -mostly in public. Though we’re getting to know eachother better over time, so i can let loose a little more. I just… Saggie energy can be overbearing and I didn’t want to come on too strong and scare him away. So I’m letting him get used to my energy little by little.

        Speaking of which, interesting thing. I was listening to a February tarot reading for Capricorns on youtube and it was mentioned that “oh, Capricorn, it looks like someone’s breaking your walls down this month”.. and oh my gosh, the peals of laughter that I could not refrain from… hahaha. I win! I win! Bahahahaha, He can’t resist the Saggie sunniness, and my Venus in Scorpio is gradually luring him in. πŸ˜‰ Hehehe.
        Anyway, He ALWAYS gets to win our little battles >.< so I have to win something.. one Cappie heart and soul will suffice. haha. πŸ˜‰ But it's ok, he is safe with me. I will take care of him and wrap all my warmth around him lovingly.For always.

        Speaking a bit more seriously though, because he and I are from different ethnic and racial backgrounds, I think we spend quite a lot of energy on trying to understand one another. Reading between the lines and studying one another silently, and with questions. So, I think sometimes, that helps. We have to be somewhat accommodating already,of differences, and understanding of differences because our culture and upbringing are far far different. Actually.. when we first met, for our first few dates, I thought I would just walk away and stop talking to him. We were so different I just didn't see us ever clicking and being able to have any real attraction to one another. So, in fact, I think it's kind of a miracle we are still dating, and so drawn to one another. The relationship did not start out the way that I'm used to; with the initial spark of attraction and that feeling of something kind of fiery and possibility of passion under the surface. I was disappointed at the lack of it. lol. But.. I think it all started when he opened up enough to engage in deeper intellectual conversations, because when I found out I could push him intellectually and he'd engage me right back, rather enjoying the challenge of a good discussion of world politics and the like, on the first (real) date, haha, i think that's when sparks started to fly.

        I hadn't considered the Zen aspect of the empty picture frame, but I might just have to ask him about that. I'm sure, between the two of us, that would likely turn into a deep topic of conversation. haha. I think you are probably right as well, when it comes to the likeliness that he's just observing people's reactions. I get the sense a LOT that he is observing and watching and seeing things that most other people might not see. His eyes are totally penetrating. My Saggie self feels at a complete loss to resist or battle his steadfast way. I feel like.. somehow he sees right through me, right inside of me, and knows how to train the Saggie filly, gradually pulling the rope in little by little… first Saggie is skittish and curious but always runs away, but curiosity keeps her coming back. And he lets her run and play but gets her accustomed to his presence and lets her know that she might push him around and test his boundaries, but he isn't budging an inch. He will always win the battle of Willpower. And since, for a Saggie, love is almost like a game of dominance, the Saggie likes the steadfast character who is strong enough to be worthy of her companionship.. someone who is strong enough and enduring enough to take on her challenge and give her a challenge in return..someone who can endure hardship and also find pleasures in life together with her.

        In some ways, I feel like Capricorns do the same things that Saggies do, just with the traits manifested slightly differently. For example.. Sagittarius likes to be pushy in some ways in order to challenge a potential mate to know they're worthy to go on a lifelong journey together. Almost like they just take their whole horse weight and throw it against you sometimes, to see if you can stand up to them. Capricorns on the other hand, like to TEST others. But..more in the way of gauging reactions, gauging character, etc. Sometimes this manifests as ACTUAL tests lol. At least with my Cappie.
        Him: "Oh, I said it wouldn't take more than two weeks to learn this, and you said you wanted to. Pop Quiz! Answer this."
        Me: " D: no fair! where's my forewarning!?" But since I'm a Saggie who likes to always feel up to the challenge of a mate, it becomes a game for us to keep up with one another. A game of worthiness kind of haha. Of course I passed the pop quiz with flying colors, and I got a grand Cappie smile and some laughter out of him for it! haha. Yes! I win I win!

        Another such test.. Well, maybe you can tell me if it was, since you are the Capricorn of the two of us. ^.^ is that I was preparing to leave for almost six months to pursue some educational studies in another country. Before I left, he said "if you go there, and you go to the clubs or date guys, don't tell me about it. But since it's a chance to learn, I'll give you five months.. but that's it."
        When he said that it kind of made me sad. I wasn't sure what to think at the time. He seemed really jealous at the thought that it would happen, though, and I wondered if maybe:

        a.) he didn't feel we'd been in a relationship long enough to ask for my fidelity to him
        b.) he felt out of control of the situation and so it was better to 'give permission' than to face the issue later
        c.) he may have been used to that expectation due to the actions of a previous girlfriend (because he'd been long distance with a girl for four years)
        d.) he wasn't sure of my desires leaving the country, or depending on cultural stereotypes, may think I had different expectations than he did, and somehow he thought he was accommodating for my own possible expectations in being able to date someone else while i was away.
        e.) he was testing me to see how deeply I felt for him, because a lot can happen in almost 6 months of not seeing one another,..and character is determined often by what we do when no one is looking, versus what we do when there are judging eyes upon us. So, it may be some kind of chance to see what kind of person I really am.
        f.) all of the above

        But, I know for a fact (Because he voiced it) that my leaving made him very sad, and the whole thing's been hard on him and makes him feel insecure about me possibly choosing not to come back to him. Because it's happened before, to him. And for sure, I think he would be insanely jealous to think that I was with another man while I was overseas. Haha..Even when there are a lot of men around when we're together, and he sees any of them looking at me, he gets in really close physical proximity and gives other cues that he has an interest in me and none of them should. haha.
        Anyway.. I look at it as a combination of all the above, but I think it's also correlated to a Cappie tendency to Test others. And if he's going to see me as a long-term partner, he wants to see my true character in this time. But I won't do anything to risk a possible future with him,… my Obsessive Venus in Scorpio won't let me stop thinking about him either. err…Having Venus in Scorpio is a little exhausting.

        Funny thing, when you mentioned Capricorn seriousness.. one day he accused ME of being "so serious". Haha.That seemed laughable coming from someone with as solemn a countenance as him! πŸ˜‰ But actually, he's helping me learn how to live life and have fun again, because I was in a marriage for many years that was rather oppressive and suffocating for a Saggie. So, I really like that my Cappie wants to include me in all his fun and take me places and plan for travel together very soon. I feel like just in the three months before I left for overseas, we went on more dates and I got to explore more new places than I had in 8 years of marriage. My Cappie has really gone a long way (even without knowing) to healing some past hurt that was still inside of me. But vice versa, I think I've been able to help him begin to heal from past wounds, too. Another Venus in Scorpio thing! Crash and burn and come out whole on the other side!

        It is my (venus in scorpio) goal to fill every open sore in his heart with warmth of love.Love without words. Love of honest understanding and acceptance. So when I return from overseas, (27 days and counting!) I will not lavish him with kisses, telling him what I love so much about him.. instead, I will ask him, "What is it that you find least attractive about yourself? What would you change about yourself? What do you think is your weakest point?" Yes, since he seems so stalwart and fearless, let's start there.. with a baring of insecurity and assumed weakness.. And when he answers, I will kiss that part of him that he does not like, and I will tell him how wonderful that part of him is. Eventually, he will know that every part of him is loved. And until he knows how much every bit of him is loved and lets any hurt and insecurity begin to heal, I will kiss him. And every day after, I will kiss him, just to remind him that there is great love in the world, and it can also belong to him..and that it's not only the recognizably "great" things about him that a person can adore.

        ***spontaneously combusts like inner venus in scorpio.. can't handle all the deep feelings of (obsessive) love!***

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        • There’s a film that for me encompasses the typical Capricorn approach to love and relationships, and that is – The Remains of the Day (1993) – Anthony Hopkins (a Capricorn) plays the lead. When I watched it I could feel it, it resonated with my Saturn side.

          There’s a certain self-sacrifice and stoicism which all Capricorns seem to experience when it comes to love. It’s why we can come across as being cold even when we’re burning up inside. We expect love to hurt, and are practical about it.

          There was also an interview, which I read awhile back, with Ralph Fiennes (a Capricorn) wherein he spoke of his love life yet avoided the subject entirely at the same time, making it more philosophical than personal and thus revealing more because he kept things hidden in the impersonal. I usually find him annoying (I often find Caps annoying for the same reasons that I find myself annoying πŸ˜‰ ), but in this interview I got a new perspective on him. What he said about himself really hit upon many things with me too. The past always features heavily in the present for Capricorns (it’s a Saturn thing, you can’t ever get away from what came before, you have to face it, deal with it, incorporate it, understand it).

          Relationships are always a serious matter for Capricorns, the more intimate they are the more serious – we’re very cautious about entering into intimate relationships, a lot needs to be considered before taking the leap, and once we give our heart to someone (btw, my someone also has Venus in Scorpio – beautiful placement for Venus!) it does feel like it is forever, we intend it to last a lifetime, but life may have other plans and it can take us forever to get over a heartbreak (and we never really get over it – those we love stay with us).

          That film and interview is what came to mind when I read your story about going abroad and away from your Capricorn.

          Yes, Capricorns are a bit notorious when it comes to ‘testing’ people. Mind you, all people test others, especially when it comes to matters which matter to us deeply. Capricorns are just well-known for doing it, maybe we’re a bit too obvious about it – that may also be part of the test.

          Your Cappy would not have wanted to stop you from seizing an opportunity, particularly one which was important for you. Capricorns are very aware of status, power and success (10th house matters) – not just how those things are perceived and work outwardly in society, but also the internal workings of them, how they pertain to self-confidence and things like our internal sense of self, our personal experience of inner status, personal power and the successes which no one else may see but which we experience within ourselves.

          Furthering education is something that means a lot to Capricorns, so he would see your trip abroad as very valuable, a treasure worth going after.

          Also, with Capricorns you often get a ‘do unto others’ behaviour – if he had been the one going abroad to study, he’d have wanted you to support him as he supported you. He may ‘test’ you on this one day.

          And yes, there probably was an element of risk involved. Capricorns are gamblers, but not in the usual way. His heart took a gamble on your heart. He thinks you’re amazing, so logically he knows that others are going to find you amazing too and try to win your heart. He wants to be with you, and he wants you with him… because you want to be. He knows you’re naturally wild, an untamed soul who is beautifully free (Sagittarius can’t be captured by anyone), and he loves you all the more for it. You will never cease to surprise him, excite him, show him a whole new way of being, perceiving, and living. Just be yourself… that’s who he loves. And love him as he is – that’s the greatest aphrodisiac in the human world πŸ™‚

          Trust yourself, and go with the flow of this wonderful love and experience of life!

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          • You always beautiful, eloquently put thoughts, and terrific insights. Thank you so much, again!

            Your suggestion for movies has given me the inkling to take the night off from studies and watch “The Remains of the Day”, tonight! Just wish I had some popcorn or something to go with it. πŸ™‚

            I do like how Cappies are stoic and yet at the same time playful in their own way. One time, I was at my Cappie’s restaurant and ordered something for lunch and told him to surprise me with a drink he thought I would like. So he brought out a tea. Later, he brought out a second and commented, “Here’s a refill.. just so I can add more to your tab.” And he gave me the most ornery lop-sided grin with that sneaky little sideways glance.. lol ohhh my goodness, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it at the time, but later, he laughed and said, “No worries, I never even started your tab.” Haha. Ohhh, he thought he was so clever. Hahaha.

            As far as you yourself being a Capricorn, and your Venus in Scorpio SO, I was wondering if I could ask you how you personally perceive his Scorpio energy in love? I am always afraid of coming off too passionately around my Cappie, so constantly holding myself back a little, though there are times when I don’t.. but still, it has been a worry for me. I know for a fact that as a Saggie I can come off as overbearing sometimes. I feel like I’ve run people off before, because they can’t handle my energy well. And that’s obviously something I don’t want to happen here.

            Actually.. to tell the truth, when my Cappie and I met, on just the third or fourth date or so, I started telling him serious, personal things. I actually was trying to get him to run away and not want to be with me anymore. I vocalized things about me I thought he wouldn’t want to hear, things that would make him not want to take a chance on me, and things to warn him of my high energy/ passion, if he really got to know me. My reason was because I was afraid to invest myself emotionally and then be hurt again, after a divorce. I hadn’t intended on meeting anyone, and had set my mind on being alone for a while, but our paths just crossed, and .. then something over the summer months with Venus and Jupiter and Saturn or something, and it just happened. So, if someone else was going to break my heart or decide they couldn’t handle me, then I wanted it to be over as quickly as possible.

            I was always surprise though, when he never backed away.. he never flinched in the face of shocking things or hard to handle things.. I tried really hard to get him to be uneasy about being with me. But at the same time, the more he showed tolerance and understanding because of his own personal experiences, or willingness to be patient and take things slow the more I fell for him. I began to really like that he might just be the stalwart male figure that I’d always wanted in my life. Seeming fearless and enduring, not backing down from hardship, very thoughtful, wise and yet, still appearing humble.

            Maybe I should be also grateful to his Venus in Aquarius for all that, lol. He always points out things that are ‘different’ about me. And sometimes I think that because he’s okay with a little adversity and ‘different’ in relationships, it’s just another reason he didn’t turn his back on the possibility of a relationship with me. But he’d apparently also had some similar experiences so, perhaps it meant we could help one another heal.

            Anyway, I always wonder if he thinks I’m too passionate at all, .. if I come across as too emotional or anything.

            So, if you don’t mind my asking, how do you tend to perceive your SO’s Venus in Scorpio passion in love, and the way he shows affection? How do you handle that kind of energy as a Capricorn? I’d be very interested to read all your little insights. πŸ˜‰ Hopefully to put some of my fears to rest.

            Like

            • Thank you ❀

              I'm not sure if I can answer your question about how as a Capricorn I perceive Scorpio energy as my dominant sign (using Pullen chart delineation) is Scorpio. I have natal Pluto in the 1st and Mars in Scorpio (which is heaps intense, and squares my natal Mercury – which is my dominant planet – causing plenty of intense thoughts and outbursts of passionate ideas), and natal Saturn is in Aries in the 8th. My Mars and my SO's Venus in Scorpio are conjunct in synastry – passion and intensity are a regular feature of our relationship – and in some ways my Scorpio intensity is louder (more overwhelming) than his because he's very Virgo and keeps a lot under wraps. He's taught me a lot about how to tone passion down, and ease up on the intense, without suppressing it, making it more comfortable for others.

              I think that it helps to remember what someone first found attractive about you before you started thinking too much about the relationship and all the subtleties involved in it. Remind yourself that your SO was attracted to you as you are before you became involved more intimately, and that is something they'll always find attractive because it's instinctive, intuitive, primal, unconscious attraction that is a strong current which carries us all along.

              Based on what you've shared of your relationship with your Cappy, he loves your passionate nature and wouldn't have you any other way. You as you are is exactly who he finds exciting, fascinating, and completely lovable.

              Going with gender – Men tend to be more accepting of people as they are, and in close intimate relationships they don't usually want to change who their chosen partner is as a person. They want to be with you as you are, that's who floats their boat. Which is partly why men find women's need to try to change them so baffling. If you love someone then you love all of them as they are. Women tend to want to change their partner, they often call it 'making them a better person', and because they have a tendency to do that they also tend to think their partner wants to do that with them. It's one of the 'mistakes' we can make in intimate relationships – thinking our SO would prefer us if we changed in some way.

              If a man loves you, then he loves you as you are, don't change anything about yourself (listen to Barry White's – Don't Go Changing).

              The way a man loves often baffles a woman because it's different from the way a woman loves.

              In some ways men love from a more instinctive place than women do, women tend to be more intellectual about love than men. Men don't think about why they love as much as women do, and they don't tend to question the love of others unless something forces them to do so.

              Best advice on love and relationships I have ever gotten was from Thomas Moore's Soulmates – https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199403/soul-mates

              Rather than ask questions like – are you too passionate for your Cappy – ask – why do I think I could be too passionate for him.

              Remember that he's an adult, he can take care of himself, make his own choices, and he can also express how he feels at any given moment. If he hasn't complained about your passionate nature then it means he likes it. If you're worried about overwhelming him, discuss the worry with him, see what he says, and if you feel inclined give him a 'safe word' whereby if you being you is too much at any point then he can just let you know and you can turn the volume down for awhile – don't turn yourself off for anyone or for anything, and don't use love as a reason to subdue your glow, if someone loves you, then it needs to encompass all of you (even the bits they might not like πŸ˜‰ )

              You're an amazing soul, and you've found someone who appreciates it – let this love show you how to enjoy being yourself as you are, that's a big part of love and relationships. Relationships with others are always intrinsically linked to our relationship with ourselves.

              Trust your flow πŸ™‚

              Like

              • Oh my goodness, I just love this. ! As I read your comments, they just brought me to tears. I think you are so spot-on! We’re so conditioned by society to question how we look, the things we do, accepting that we will always have ‘flaws’ and we should obviously make changes to ourselves…to be more like someone else.. to be more one thing or the other… But the truth of the matter is that what is fulfilling to one person is not fulfilling to the other; what is the right lifestyle for one person’s needs, doesn’t necessarily suit the other. We should be more accepting of our whole selves.

                Your words about the relationship between my Cappie and I, about men and how they love, etc.. when I was reading it, realizing the probable truth of those things, I felt as though some burden was being lifted off of me. As though I could feel a sense of spiritual uplifting, because I suddenly didn’t feel the need to alter or suppress the inner spirit and natural energy.I felt like I could just glow with ethereal radiance because I could let my natural energy flow freely. It felt freeing and wonderful.
                Thank you so much for your wise words.

                Mmmm.. It feels so pleasant that I have been able to experience so much spiritual healing over the last few short months. Before, there was so much anguish, and so many things I needed to be able to heal from. And after a lot of praying and meditating, soul searching and questioning, visiting with counselors and pranic healers and such, and a visit from energy/ spirit healers in my dream! (an extensive list! haha), I feel like your wonderful insights have been just what I needed to hear in order to help overcome the last of the inner struggles that I’ve been dealing with recently. I feel myself at much greater peace. ^.^ I that that in and of itself will help in matters of relationship. I think that my dearest Cappie has known there are personal wounds I have been dealing with.

                I think I stated before, in another post, that I did tell him a couple of times, when he had been helping me heal, even if it was inadvertently.. Making me feel very safe and trusting of him, in our relationship. He always reassures me with gentleness, “I won’t hurt you”, “I won’t ask you to do anything. Then you won’t have to feel pressured for anything. Just do what is comfortable for you. You make me feel very comfortable, too.” His no-pressure approach has done absolute wonders for me.

                Likewise though, I know he has been dealing with certain personal wounds, so I hope I’ve been able to help him heal, too.
                I’m really hoping that is the case. He has commented before, “You already take good care of me”..and one time when he was feeling particularly sentimental, he shared what’s most important in his life, “I am happy when my mom is happy. It makes me happy when she smiles. When my little niece and nephew are doing well, that also makes me happy.” then he kind of paused and as with new realization, smiled, “You also make me very happy.” Later in the conversation he said “just stay beside me”. I wasn’t sure if he meant it physically next to him at that moment, or beside him for a long future together, but… Sometimes I think he meant for the possibility of a long future together, because I know that the girl he dated for many many years had left him to take a job in another state, at which point she never came back. And it’d been a few years since that time and he hadn’t really dated since then. So I think there were feelings of abandonment there… So (my Venus in Scorpio) shows him that I’m not willing to let go of him so easy.
                (My Venus in Scorpio gets angry at the thought! Abandon love!? Never! Let someone else take you away from me?! Never! I will love him, and kiss him, and coddle him, and hold him, and .. well, you get the picture. You know how Scorpio energy is! lol).

                Oh and I hadn’t thought about it before, but maybe that extra passionate energy from Scorpio placements gives him the sense of emotional security in the relationship that he wants to feel, but hasn’t had before. So in a sense, I may think it’s overwhelming to him at times, but it is actually kind of healing and supportive to him, making him feel more safe about opening his heart to me. ….Hmmmmm…… I suppose that could be.

                Actually, sorry I’m just thinking out loud now, but most of my friends who are younger and still dating have said that I should give my Cappy more of a chase, and not make it seem as ‘easy’ to be with me, so to speak. But in going into the relationship, I used a lot of intuitive (and secret Saggie super powers of reading behaviour and psychological manipulation -in a good way), to ‘feel out’ how to approach him and a relationship with him. I’d just never dated anyone like him before. It was such new territory.

                My Leo friend suggests I should play more games with him..more push and pull and make him wonder.. make him wait.. make him feel like he has to work harder for a relationship with me… and in a sense I get that..But even without me giving him more problems to worry about, relationships are hard enough in and of themselves, even without the added drama. Telling someone that you have an interest in pursuing a possible relationship with them doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together, and doesn’t make it any easier. It just cuts the crap so that you can focus on the relationship itself. At any moment, something you say or do, even without bad intention, could be wrong in the eyes of the other person and become a huge turn off that makes them want to decide no longer to pursue that relationship. You never know. Dating is exploring a whole new and different person, and that can be scary enough.
                I think Cappies also already perceive relationships as work. My Cappy’s already told me he’s trying to buy a house of his own (preparing for his future family), and trying to make his business stable enough that his parents can fully retire and he can support a family of his own. I think.. I would feel bad if I gave him all the run around for no good reason. I know he is already working really hard, and his stress was so much that a few months back he collapsed and was in the hospital for it. He needs someone in his life who can love and support him. Not someone that’s going to give him more worry and hurt.

                I think depending on different sun signs and depending on planetary placements, people pursue relationships totally differently. What ‘works’ and ‘attracts’ for one person is completely different than what does the trick for someone else. It also depends on WHO it is you are attracting, due to their own placements.

                But.. I’ve always gotten the ‘feeling’ that my Cappie is at an age and at a point in his life that he doesn’t have time or energy to waste on games. He’s specifically told me that if he dates, he wants it to be for the possibility of marriage, and that that girl will have to have certain things that really click and mesh with himself in order to make it work for longer term. Likewise, since he’s a business owner and has told me for the next year, he won’t have an easy time at dating because he’s trying to make his business more stable and successful, buy a house, etc etc. So there are many things keeping him busy. So I can see clearly that he tries hard to make time for us to see one another, but that it’s very hard for him to do so.

                That being the case, I feel like he hasn’t the time or energy nor the desire to think that I’m too unstable or wishy washy for him to consider a long term relationship with. From things I’ve read, Cappies don’t really like games in relationships (not like my Leo friend does haha).Nor do they like drama in relationships. they have to feel stable and secure. (unlike my Leo friend haha.) I think.. I’ve probably done better giving him the reassurance of being trustworthy and reliable, down to earth and able to think seriously about relationships, instead of playing games. I think that lets him feel more secure with opening his heart to me. I think that is what he needs. Everything for him seems to be about safety and security. Stability.

                And… I suppose all of that said, I feel like I am more spiritually and emotionally prepared /in a better place, to return home from overseas to continue pursuing that relationship with him. I want to be able to give my best in a relationship and not just commit half my emotions, or only hurting emotions to him. He deserves fairness in the relationship. He deserves a good relationship. He deserves the best. πŸ™‚

                By the way, I did listen to the Barry White, and watched the movie you suggested. ^.^ Both were great! I also read that article you linked. Thanks for sharing!

                Like

                • I would steer clear of games in relationships. They can be fun sometimes, but that’s only if you’re not planning on getting serious with someone or if you’re both on the same page and are playing the game together, however mostly games just make a mess which is hard to tidy up afterwards.

                  And once you start playing a game it may be hard to stop playing it.

                  It’s better just to be real and have someone love you for who you actually are. If game-playing isn’t part of who you are, then don’t play them.

                  It’s definitely not a good idea to play relationship games with a Capricorn. I’ve come across a few threads on forums about how to catch a Capricorn using gameplay, and it always makes me cringe as most of the games are the kind a Capricorn knows about and will catch you in the act playing. Sure you can catch the attention of a Capricorn by playing games… but that attention may not be the kind you’re after. If a Capricorn finds out you’ve been playing them then it’s curtains for you and your play.

                  Trust yourself on this, and don’t listen to your Leo friend. Leos are lovely, they can make good confidantes and can give great advice sometimes, but they tend to like drama in their relationships, so relationship advice from them may cause drama in your relationship – which the Leo will enjoy from a safe distance while eating popcorn and sipping champagne. If a Leo thinks your relationship is ‘boring’ as in too stable, they may try to spice it up for their own enjoyment, but they’ll tell you that it’s for your enjoyment because they think everyone likes chaotic relationships like they do.

                  Other people’s take on your relationship is seen from their perspective, and if they give advice and you take it the only person who has to live with the consequences of that is you.

                  You’ve got a great relationship with your Cappy. You understand him and he understands you. Sure, there’s more to discover, to learn and understand, but that’s part of the ever-evolving shape of relationships, and what makes them so intriguing, so rich and deep. It’s an adventure, so make sure it’s your adventure, do it your way. Be true to yourself and your path.

                  Your Cappy has a Taurus Moon… he wants the deep stability of earth beneath his feet, and to build his life on solid foundations of what’s real and true. He wants to live somewhere safe, warm, caring and comfortable, not on a merry-go-round or a rollercoaster – your Leo might find those preferable and so keep that in mind when listening to a Leo’s advice. My mother was a Leo, if her relationships weren’t chaotic then she would get bored and stir them up, creating some drama out of nothing – it was exhausting and this Cappy found the endless drama and games really annoying πŸ˜‰

                  You don’t need to do anything to make your Cappy interested in you more than he already is other than continue being yourself as you are – you’re a wild and beautiful Sagittarius, you surprise and enchant him by being yourself. And your straightforwardness, that’s wonderfully refreshing. Your Capricorn will appreciate it as a rare and unusual treasure. Capricorns adore those who have the moxie to tell it like it is. Many people, like your Leo, tend to think they need to play games to get others to love them, so someone who doesn’t play games stands out and shines with a quality which is far more captivating than a game.

                  Trust yourself, follow the beat of your own drum!

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                  • Ah, thank you so much again for the magnificent insights. ^.^ Sorry I hadn’t responded until now.Packing and all to move back to the States. Only 2 more weeks until I get to see my Cappy!

                    It’s funny you say that Cappies totally figure out all the games. Haha. My Cappy loves games of strategy, and I always tell him that I can just tell that he sees things that other people don’t see.. I think he’s more observant and perceptive and smart than a lot of people might think him to be. I know I don’t honestly know him well enough yet to say if he does or doesn’t.. it’s just a sense I get about him. Of course he grins when I tell him that, and denies it, but I think that’s just his self-depreciating/ outwardly humble Cappy side.

                    The only real games I like to play with my Cappy, are just to be silly. I am such a dork sometimes haha. I’m far too honest to ever be able to really play other games or lie or cheat or anything like that. I have a terrible guilty conscience if i do… To the point it’s almost a flaw -if that’s possible? So for games with my Cappy, I’ll be obviously ‘sneaky’ about something or be silly somehow, just to tease him, and he always watches me out of the corner of his eye to see what I’ll do. You know that sly sideways Cappy glance that’s like.. “oh boy, what does she think she’ll get away with this time?” lol Those sly Cappy side-long glances are the best. haha. Then afterward, I’ll play like I’m caught in the act or have done something to make him laugh somehow and it’s so much fun. I get smiles out of him with those kinds of games. haha. πŸ˜‰ But those are safe games. Not drama games.

                    I think with my Venus in Scorpio I don’t like REAL relationship games either. Because my Scorpio is insanely jealous, and I have to know that my SO is solely mine and I’m solely his. Especially after things that happened in my marriage in the past. I think that both our Moons in Taurus have a little to do with it too,perhaps?
                    Like.. one time, another business rep came to his work to deliver something to my Cappy and I was there.. we were hardly in a relationship yet, but this lady decided she wanted to get a picture with him on her phone, and ooohhh, my inner Scorpio about wanted to strangle somebody right then and there. There were a million deaths awaiting whoever was getting too close to the man that my sunny Saggie self had her eye fixed on.. lol.

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                    • I moved house recently, and even though the new place was only a few miles away from the old place it threw my life into disarray. I have in the past moved across continents, and had to let go of everything I knew as stable, even though it was always temporary. It can be such a huge change and can unsettle our system even when we’re prepared for it.

                      Best wishes on your move! Give yourself time to adjust and give others time to adjust too πŸ™‚

                      I read something recently on one of my fav astro blogs (this astrologer has a particular talent for showing how natal charts are reflected in our words, actions, our everyday lives) about Venus in Scorpio and I thought of you – http://www.oxfordastrologer.com/2016/01/venus-in-scorpio-strong.html

                      What’s clear with you is you’re you – you’ve experienced what it is like to not be yourself with someone and you know the pain which that can bring. You don’t want to play those kind of games anymore (very in tune with transiting Saturn’s move in Sag – let the music play and the dance be real).

                      The games you play with your Cappy and others you know are in tune with the natural playfulness of interactions. We all want to have fun in relationships. You know when to play and when to get serious – that’s a rare talent, so nurture it, don’t worry if you make mistakes as that’s art of it.

                      This above all, to thine own self be true – and for a Sagittarius that is what gives your inner flame the inspiration to burn beautifully. You as you are is what passes that inspiration on to all those who have the blessing to know you πŸ™‚

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  28. I said I didn’t expect anything from him. As in I didn’t expect him to do anything FOR me. I meant that I didn’t expect him to be there for me emotionally, because he can be so indifferent and it hurts, so I told him I didn’t want to be upset time and again, argue, ruin our relationship and lose him, hence I had stopped expecting him to be emotionally responsive. I told him that I’ve accepted him to be the way he is, that no one is perfect and that I haven’t done so much for him either. So it was wrong for me to expect so much from him.

    And now, he is visibly upset. I don’t know whether it’s because he sees it as a failure on his part or…he thought I saw him as indifferent, just like he is to others. I told him he doesn’t have to explain why he behaves this way, that I’m okay with it. I asked him “Why must you have to justify your actions?” and he replied “Because you matter to me”

    I said that what I would think of him would depend on his behavior and if he was being indifferent to the things I had to say, he was being indifferent.
    He said “Then look beyond my words”

    But, I also said that it didn’t bother me like it used to initially and that I no longer disliked him for it. He asked me “So, I haven’t done anything for you?”

    I mean I read about Capricorns caring about u but being cold and indifferent and he’d be so devoted to his schedule that we even had to talk for a pre-set amount of time. And he’d say bye abruptly at times. I don’t get it. Isn’t he supposed to be happy that I accept him for the way he is and still say that I’ll be there for him. Isn’t that enough?

    He said “I don’t know what enough is for me”

    And when I asked him what he was gonna do for me anyway for him to be so upset…he said “If you don’t expect anything, then you will never know why”.

    I’m usually the dramatic one among the two of us. But, today he was like…”It’s all over. The one month frame was enough for you to know. Now you know. What i did before that and what i will do now onwards will not matter.”

    He’s wished me a happy New Year in advance, and has started to ignore my texts after. All of this happened a few hrs ago. What do I do now. What is going on in his head. He’s extremely intelligent. But, why has he taken it so personally? I just wanted to go with the flow and not bug him unnecessarily about emotional stuff since he’s so career-oriented.

    He has a Cancer moon, Capricorn Venus, Aquarius Mars

    He’s younger than me and is a male friend. I’m a Virgo sun, Sag moon, Leo venus, Libra Mars

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Capricorns can be complicated to understand, and can be far more sensitive than they appear, the cold and insensitive side is often there to protect a soft underbelly. Their emotional nature can be both remote and intense, much depends on the rest of their chart like the Moon, and you’re dealing with a Capricorn Sun that has a Cancer Moon – that makes things even more complex.

      Cancer is the opposing sign of Capricorn, so for a person with a Capricorn Sun a Cancer Moon will cause conflict within themselves which will confuse others because they’re confused themselves. They’ll be at odds with their own feelings and may be far more moody than your typical Capricorn.

      You might find SweetCappie’s share on this forum thread insightful – http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/006924.html

      And this is a quick overview of the combo – http://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Capricorn-Sun-Cancer-Moon-Combinations

      And at the moment there is some transit mojo going on which may make any placements in Cardinal signs act out more than usual. Transits to read up on with regards to this – Pluto in Capricorn, Uranus in Aries, and for a short while – Mars in Libra (which is stirring up all sorts of relationship chaos) and Mercury in Capricorn (squared by Mars – communication difficulties).

      For more on transits, this is a great blog (the blogger writes regular features on relationship astrology for Sasstrology) – http://rubyslipper.ca/ruby-slipper-astrology/

      A Cancer Moon is a very strong placement for the Moon is in its own sign. His sensitivity, the emotional turmoil and drama which he is showing is more to do with his Moon than his Sun sign. He’s taking it all so personally because of his Cancer Moon. Cancer Moons can get offended by a sneeze and be upset with you over it for days, sulking and brooding without ever telling you what you did (or didn’t do) just passive-aggressively letting you know you’ve done something (or not done something) and they’re now really upset about it. They can also be the most caring person you’ll ever meet – they have an uncanny way of knowing what you need before you know you need it, they’ll know you sometimes better than you know yourself, and love you in a gentle way that will melt your heart, when they love you it is long and strong.

      I have a friend who has a Sag Moon and their partner has a Cancer Moon. They’re the same Sun sign, so they understand each other on that level, but emotionally they’re very different. My friend is easy-going whereas her partner is heavy-going when it comes to emotions. Sag Moon is a great Moon to have and is very good for a Cancer Moon person as Sag Moons are very chilled about emotions – you express what you’re feeling openly, passionately, and then move on, which is something a Cancer Moon needs to learn. Cancer Moons tend to hold onto all their emotions like a collection of precious jewels, they don’t share them easily and when they do it’s usually indirectly – you have to guess what they’re feeling, they’re very cagey, and trying not to hurt them is a lose/lose situation when they’re in overly-sensitive mode (which is often).

      With a Cap Sun and Cancer Moon, the thing which upsets them may be something which stirs a conflict within themselves and may be less about you than it is about them, and they may either see you as being insensitive (Cancer moon’s view) or too sensitive (Capricorn’s view) towards them, neither of which they want because they often aren’t really sure what they want as their emotions are conflicting with their mind, tend to obscure their thinking, so even if they’re super intelligent and logical, when they’re caught in an emotional storm they get lost in it and sometimes so do those around them.

      A Cancer Moon can cut you to the quick because they’re very tuned into what hurts others, and when they’re hurting they tend to lash out to make others feel what they’re feeling.

      Capricorn just tends to be very sarcastic or silent, usually both, when hurt.

      What to do?

      If he didn’t have a Cancer Moon then I’d suggest doing what usually works with Capricorns, and that is waiting him out. Give him some space. When Capricorns are upset they tend to just need a time out. It does depend on other factors, but usually Caps just need to go off and sulk a bit without being interrupted in the sulking time (or else it’ll take longer for them to get over it). They need to figure out their own feelings, thoughts, etc, and once they do that they pull themselves together.

      Since he has a Cancer Moon… this poses a dilemma, as what works for dealing with a Capricorn Sun doesn’t work for dealing with a Cancer Moon.

      Cancer Moons need the opposite to what Capricorn Suns need when they’re upset. Dealing with an upset Cancer Moon requires a TLC overdose. Buy them their favourite flowers, chocolates, comfort foods and gifts, cook them their favourite meal, draw them up a hot bath with scented oils and bubbles, then wrap them up in a big soft duvet, hug them until they lose circulation in their limbs, give them a cup of tea, tell them everything is going to be okay, and sing them a lullaby. Capricorn hates that, Cancer Moon loves it.

      The amount of patience you’ll need for dealing with his Capricorn Sun/Cancer Moon combo may wear you out (and drive your Sag Moon and Virgo Sun crazy), so be sure that it’s worth it for you.

      If you want to get past his silence use your Leo Venus – that placement gives you irresistible charm which is infectious. Charm him with something that speaks to his inner child (Cancer Moons have a very dominant inner child who just wants to be hugged and loved and showered with cuddly toys) but be careful not to let him see that you’re treating him a bit like a sad child who needs cheering up (Capricorn needs to feel grown up).

      Think about it, what can he not resist, what always makes him smile even when he’s determined to sulk – do that. You might also have to listen to him tell you why he’s upset, and you’ll need to listen quietly, acknowledge his story and not interrupt, don’t tell him he’s got it wrong or anything like that. Just let him tell his side of the story, nod and gently nudge him in the direction of something soothing like icecream. Sometimes all people need is to feel heard.

      Take good care of yourself, best wishes!

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  29. Hello. I have been reading your posts recently and a lot of makes sense to me. I am Aquarius and my boyfriend (not sure if he still is) is a cap. He is 36 and has gone through 2 divorces. Has two children through each of his marriages. We have been together for 3 yrs and don’t stay in the same city. He is very successful in his career and a crazy workaholic. We both belong to the same field as well. That’s how we met. When we started off he was very upfront about his feelings would talk of us being good together and how happy he felt with me. Would buy gifts and travel at the drop of a hat to be with me and put me on a pedestal. We both were nice to each other and I felt I supported his throughout when we cldnt communicate caus of his schedule either caus of work or kids or court (fighting visitation). However since the last few months almost 6 things have changed. He doesn’t seem that connected. Doesn’t talk to me on the phone. Maybe once in a week. We msg but it’s mostly me who will initiate and I get very delayed responses. He also did get angry with me once and stopped responding to my texts. Didn’t tell me what went wrong. Got back on his own in a weeks time but the communication wasn’t even the level of acquaintances. Would just inform me that he is travelling overseas for a holiday with family and send me those pictures. I still stayed supportive. I knew through his friends that he would come to my city for work and not tell me. This was for 2 months. I didn’t question him and he told me about it himself. His justification for all this behavior was he needed time. I told him that it hurt me a lot and I felt used for which he apologized. Now when he comes to my city we meet but not daily. Out of 6 trips made iv met him thrice. He has stopped sharing much bout work or personal things and keeps saying he is dead inside. What do I do? Many thanks.

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      What stands out the most from what you’ve shared is the last bit – “He has stopped sharing much bout work or personal things and keeps saying he is dead inside.” – especially the fact that he has repeatedly told you he is dead inside. When someone says that, and says it more than once, it’s a strong sign that they’re going through some personal hell.

      One thing seems clear, what is happening between you is not your fault, so don’t blame yourself. It sounds as though he pushed himself too far, had too much going on, and he’s exhausted. The custody issues probably sucked the life out of him more than anything else, it is a very stressful and deeply heart-wrenching experience for a parent, and he may have thrown himself even more into his work to deal with his pain, but at some point he hit a personal wall and now he feels dead inside.

      I’m not sure what you can do if the problem is his as only he can figure it out for himself, and since he’s a Capricorn (a sign that is experiencing a major Pluto transit which is all about crashing and burning then rising from your own ashes like a phoenix) trying to help him may actually cause him to retreat more than he already has.

      I would advise just letting him know you’re there for him if he needs you, and being okay with what he decides to do, if he gets in touch enjoy the time together, and if he doesn’t get in touch accept that he’s just not in the mood to socialise and it’s not about you.

      I recently came across this slightly silly astro tidbit which is actually rather accurate for Caps – http://weheartit.com/entry/165095903 – the way to comfort a Capricorn is to leave them alone (when they want to be alone).

      Capricorns tend to shut down and shut themselves inside of themselves when dealing with a crisis or when they feel dead inside. They build an impenetrable wall around themselves, and they won’t come out until they’re ready to do so. Trying to communicate with a wounded and hibernating Capricorn is nigh on impossible, when they don’t want to talk about it they don’t talk about it and they get even more stubbornly silent if you try to force them to talk about it. If they’re silent, then it’s very serious, they’re figuring something out or sulking (which is sometimes what they need to do to figure something out). It’s the way Capricorns deal and heal.

      He’s most likely to open up to you if he doesn’t feel pressured to do so, and he’ll appreciate your understanding if he chooses not to communicate. Capricorns always notice when people are there for them when they’re at their worst, and it touches them very deeply to know you’re there if they need you and won’t take it personally and make them feel guilty if they don’t need you. It’s a complex sign which other signs often find frustrating to comprehend, but you’re an Aquarius so just use your natural chill skills, Aquarians have the most wonderful way of making everything seem copacetic and understanding even the most confusing puzzles. Brilliant and beautiful souls!

      Stick with him, wait him out, but only if that’s what you really want to do as you may be in for a long wait and a lot of silence, don’t do it because you feel you have to be there for him – he’ll notice that too.

      Hope that helps. Best wishes!

      Like

  30. Hello! I first wanted to say I am a huge admirer of your blog. I have so much respect for your depth, insight, and incredible artistic soul. Now I am also a lover of astrology, and I have a question of sorts involving a former friend of mine. She’s a Capricorn sun, Aquarius moon, Scorpio rising, with pluto in the 12th house in Scorpio. I’m a Sagittarius, Libra moon with Virgo rising. So, an obvious mismatch there. But I love this girl more than any friend I’ve ever had. We ended our friendship 3 years ago and I still think about her with equal parts love, anger, and longing. I lived with her for a year, and for the first 6 months it was bliss. We were closer than any friendship I’ve ever had, we shared things neither of us had ever shared before. She did her capricorn best to show her love by taking care of me and providing support and practical assistance. She still has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I’ve met.

    Now as some backstory, she was always completely vehement that she was always truthful, that she was completely honest and upfront with everything. I was so touched and I trusted her so much, that I translated that in my brain to mean that everything she said was the gospel truth. In my brain, that also translated to when she said she was “fine” when she obviously wasn’t, I should trust that she would be absolutely honest and upfront if she really wasn’t fine. So, I ignored all my instincts to look deeper, and as a consequence I know she felt neglected.

    After the first 6 months, things went downhill. Looking back it was the combined weight of a bunch of separate events that came together to create an avalanche. To start it off, I did something that was pretty unworthy. I slept with the man she had a crush on. At the time, I felt pretty damn worthless as a human being, and so when this gorgeous man starts flirting with me, I was flattered and excited. Although I knew that he was a friend of hers, he seemed like he was gunning for me. I cornered her and asked her if she had feelings for him since she seemed uncomfortable when we were flirting. She said yes, I told her I would be okay with backing off. She told me no, just to go for it. I listened to her words, not what I knew was true. She kept that hurt in for 5 months. I was so unconscious I didn’t think how much that must have hurt her.

    I think what really became the tipping point was when I got the part in a movie that she wanted. We’re both actresses and both very committed to what we do. She is incredibly dynamic, passionate, intense, and committed, nowhere more so than with acting. I get how much of a blow that was.

    Now this incredibly long diatribe has really been to get to this point. I’ve spent so much time analyzing and digging to get to the bottom of why things went the way they did. However I think I was hoping you could offer some insight seeing as I feel you have a similar mix of vulnerability, intensity, strength, and compassion.

    Things at the end got pretty bad. For a while we couldn’t have a conversation without sniping at each other, but soon it got to the point where I couldn’t get a word out before it was all my fault for whatever the special of the day was. Throughout our relationship, she would act out her insecurity by making embarrasing remarks about me in public, and disparaging me in front of potential contacts and employers. I have trouble reconciling who I knew her to be with this suddenly vicious, violent imposter. Living in the same house with her came to feel like being pinned to a wall by a hailstorm with nowhere to run. I was so used to trusting her, that it took me a really long time to put my shields up. I came away from her believing that I was childish, selfish, irresponsible, unprofessional, and basically the scum of the earth. Suddenly I couldn’t do anything right. She turned every insecurity I had confessed to her against me and badmouthed me to everyone she could find. She raised such a fuss that the producer of the film she was acting in at the time actually called me to see if I could calm her down. The fact that he was so incredibly surprised that I was polite and reasonable tells me a lot about what he expected.

    Now I know this has been incredibly long winded, but the crux of the matter is this. I have utmost compassion for the pain I put her through. It is still a challenge for me to come to grips with the methods she used to punish me. I tend to think of myself as hopefully being reasonably fair and honest. Even in the thick of things I did my best to work things through. But the essence is, she became verbally and emotionally abusive. Maybe I’m just trying to excuse myself, but I don’t think so. I’ve soul searched, but as I’ve examined our interactions, the seed was there from the beginning.

    So please, if you’re so inclined, lend me your incredible insight to what happened, both on my part and hers. I just want to understand why she acted the way she acted. I know the sequence of events, I want to know what happened inside. Thank you so much for sticking with me to the end, its been a bit therapeutic just to write.

    Your Fan

    Penny

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    • Hi Penny, thank you very much πŸ™‚

      Sorry for the delay in replying.

      You seem to have a clear, level-headed and insightful take on the whole relationship. Trust yourself about that. The thorough review you’ve done is a good one.

      Astrologically your Libra Moon will always try to be fair when it comes to relating – for you being unfair would break your heart. Your Virgo rising likes to analyse and understand (be careful not to over-analayse things just because there are some loose threads and not everything is tied up), and will do so with careful discernment.

      What sign is your Mercury in?

      From what you’ve shared I would say that what you’re experiencing from her is a combo of Scorpio rising (and Pluto in the 12th adds an unconscious punch – she may not realise how deeply hurtful she is being due to not being conscious of what’s going on deep inside of her) with an angry Cap sun.

      Capricorn is a very ugly sign when we’re angry – cold-blooded white-hot rage which takes a long time to rise up but once it does it takes even longer to subside. That meme about ‘if you think Karma is a bitch, wait until you piss of a Capricorn’ are very true words said in jest. What pisses us off can be something random and tiny, the final straw that broke the camel’s back, and once the anger rises then everything that ever annoyed us becomes an issue. We keep lists like that song ‘I’ve got a little list’ in The Mikado.

      I would hazard a guess that’s she’s actually more angry about you getting the part in the movie that she wanted than she is about the man. She would have been aware of his part in the situation and would not have seen it as all being down to you, and her Aquarius Moon might have shrugged that off, whereas with the career matter… very different.

      The fact that she has been badmouthing you professionally backs that up.

      That’s where she’s really hurting, that’s the real thorn in her side which is making her lash out at you. When you got that part it triggered the sort of insecurity which caused an earthquake in her foundations (and don’t forget that transiting Pluto is in Capricorn – all Caps are going a bit Pluto kind of crazy at the moment).

      You can pretty much hit a Capricorn Sun just about anywhere and it may be painful but we’ll get over it after a sulk, stew and brood, especially if we love you and you have our loyalty, just don’t hit us in our ‘career/social status’ sector, in the area that defines us to ourselves, that is part of our foundations of self.

      Did anything else happen in her career around the same time as you getting the part she wanted? Did she have any other career disappointments? Was she second-guessing her career in any way? Has she been worrying about getting too old for the business, not getting the roles she thinks she deserves, something like that and perhaps… she may be using you as a lightning rod for more than what happened between you.

      What about you, did anything else really positive happen in your career at around the same time as you got the part that she wanted? If you’re analysing the situation be sure to include the bigger picture which surrounds your relationship with her. Look at those things which seem separate but may be influencing the matter.

      Are you more successful than she is? More attractive? Sag Sun with Virgo rising – usually very beautiful, and very charming.

      Think about it from her perspective rather than yours, as much as you’ve been a close friend she’ll have always seen you as competition. Caps are competitive with everyone even when we’re pretending that we’re not. Sagittarians don’t do that and might not see it. Sags are just naturally chilled lovely forces of nature – Caps are sometimes a tad envious of the easy-going ways of Sags πŸ˜‰ and the way that luck seems to shine on your sign (Jupiter’s blessings versus Saturn’s grim tick tock).

      I would recommend looking at your chart including the transits – checking out what transits you’ve got going on which may be hitting your natal placements. Is Pluto squaring your Moon? Is Uranus opposing it? And Saturn just moved into Sagittarius – a very important shift astrologically.

      Ultimately it’s not down to you to be the keeper of her feelings – that’s her responsibility. With regards to knowing she wasn’t fine when she said she was – I’m sure you’ve tried pressing her on the matter in the past and she probably got annoyed with you about it, so you stopped pushing and learned to accept her word for it. If a Cap says they’re fine, then they’re stubbornly going to stick with what they said even if they’re not fine at all – don’t blame yourself for that, it’s totally our sign’s bad. Just as when you asked her if she wanted you to back away from the man – she said go for it. If she didn’t mean it then she shouldn’t have said otherwise. Your Virgo rising needs to stop worrying about having done the wrong thing, especially as you tried to do the right thing. Cut yourself slack and don’t take on the responsibility in this matter which isn’t yours.

      You sound lovely… let yourself be lovely ❀

      Like

      • Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for your reply. Your words mean so much to me. You really hit the nail on the head for both me and her. I feel so relieved. I get now that there really wasn’t much I could have done. In terms of career, you were spot on. While we were close, the most vulnerable she’s ever been with me was when she told me that she could picture me someday working with a-list actors and directors. She said she’d had to think what she’d do if I ever became more successful than her. I feel that might be the crux of the matter. When we became roommates we were both brand spanking new to LA and the film business. Neither of us had much in the way of success but she was always more experienced and successful than me. That movie role was the first time I’d threatened her position as top dog in any way. It was a tiny movie that never made it off the editing room shelf, but it was still a movie, and one that she’d wanted.

        I really am grateful. You’ve said some things I really deserved to hear for a long time. I was trying to took at the situation as I would have done it. Realizing that she had a very different view of life, different priorities and motivations makes a lot of things click into place. I had always thought that the man was the catalyst, but it makes a huge amount of sense that it was career. She said I would screw it up because I didn’t have the acting chops, but it was because she was scared of losing her success to me. I’m honestly finding it easier to let go of anger at her when I know what her real reasons might have been.

        As for our charts, I have mercury in Sagittarius in the 4th house, she has mercury in Aquarius in the 3rd.

        I’ve also got uranus transiting my 8th house, so lots of deep digging and soul searching has been going on. I actually enjoy the relief it brings to get stuff out of its hiding place in the depths of my being.

        You’ve assisted immensely and I’m very grateful to you. I always enjoy reading your replies, and you’ll probably hear from me again πŸ˜‰

        You’re amazing,
        Penny

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        • Thank you πŸ™‚

          Keep an eye on Saturn’s transit in Sagittarius – I would hazard a guess that it’s going to be really good for you, building on the transits of Pluto and Uranus and what they’ve been up to in your chart, creating new foundations. If Pluto is transiting your 5th (like mine) you may find your career (which is a creative one – ergo 5th house realm) becoming a focal point which with Saturn’s help transforms dreams into reality in some way.

          Have you noticed how many Sagittarians do really well in the acting business. You’re a natural for it, just stay true to yourself and follow your bliss.

          Everything she said to you about your career lets you know how worried she was about the competition which you posed for her. It reminds me a bit of an interview with Naomi Watts which I read awhile back. She has been mates with Nicole Kidman since they were both unknowns, and from the sounds of it there’s been a bit of rivalry within the friendship due to career. Maybe one day you two will be friends again, but for now she’s caught up too much in her insecurities and you don’t need to take that on, she needs to sort herself out on her own.

          Take good care of your lovely self!

          Like

          • Thank you πŸ™‚

            Once again you’ve said the exact words I needed to hear. Whether intentional or not, your observations pinpointed the insecurities that kept me doubting myself. I’m a little in awe of your ability to home in on the truth in such a precise way. Thank you.

            I’m excited to see what this Saturn transit brings, I could use the grounding and stabilizing influence πŸ™‚ As for my friend, I feel more peaceful about her.

            Thank you again πŸ™‚
            Penny

            Like

  31. I’m libra sun and about coldness I’ve experienced this with capricorn women in general and with a capricorn moon, but not with sun capricorn men, I don’t know why. In the case of the capricorn moon guy, he also has venus in aquarius. I don’t tend to have problems with most of the signs in general, I just don’t tend to like and have difficulties with people with aquarius elements like sun, venus, moon or a person with much air in their chart. Maybe it can be because of my moon in taurus in the 8th house which square aquarius in general.

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      There’s an interesting article about clashes in astrology – http://sasstrology.com/2015/06/i-hate-that-sign-why-some-signs-push-your-buttons.html – it’s often due to the synastry between our chart and that of others, the placements we have and theirs, especially if there are squares and oppositions between them, as with your Taurus Moon and your difficulties with Aquarius elements.

      Not sure why you would find female Capricorns colder than male ones, that’s very intriguing.

      It could be because you expect females to be warmer than males and Cap females are very reserved emotionally. I often get into trouble with female friends because I can come across like Spock where emotions are concerned, but I mainly only do that when in social situations because I don’t want to cloud interactions with emotional issues (that is also a Virgo rising/Virgo Moon thing – being private and not wanting to bother others with my emotions). My male friends on the other hand like my emotional reserve.

      It might also be due to gender differences between the expressions of the sign’s traits. Signs tend to vary with gender because each sign is assigned a gender. Capricorn is feminine. Libra is masculine. For more on this – http://www.librarising.com/astrology/misc/realaspects.html

      It’s fascinating to explore relationships using astrology.

      Like

      • Ok, maybe you are right. In general I have problems with aquarians in general. Aquarians are too individualistic to me. I consider myself atypical libra because I have a lot of earth in my chart, especially virgo, I have venus and mars in virgo. I don’t have problem about expressing emotions, but it is very difficult to just relax and go with the flow.

        Like

        • Libra has been going through a lot lately due to transits (opposition from t-Uranus and square from t-pluto) and if you’ve got a lot of Virgo – t-Jupiter is there amplifying things.

          The best part of astrology is when it helps us understand ourselves better. When we understand ourselves better, we can understand others a bit more. COnflicts are a great source of insight and learning.

          So, what signs do you really get along with and why? It’s as informative as those we don’t like.

          Thank you for being so open, that’s an awesome and brave way to be πŸ™‚

          Like

          • I get along well with virgo and pisces, both like to help others, both are also compassionate in their own way.
            I really like how cancers value family because I am like this too.

            I don’t get along so well with aquarius and gemini. I prefer talking to sagittarius, they are more interesting compared to gemini. Gemini are not good listeners in general. Both aquarius and gemini seem like kids who need to be entertained almost all the time, otherwise they get bored.
            Aquarius are always analysing me and other people behaviour, I don’t like that. I tend to disagree with them most of the time. I am goal-oriented ( strong earth and fixed chart ), I need practical results and they theorize too much.

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            • I find it can be insightful to look at the signs we get along with and those we don’t get along with, to figure out why and then see how it works with our own natal chart because we have all the signs as part of our whole, and sometimes the likes and dislikes reflect our chart, the placements therein and their aspects – so it personalises astrological interpretations and makes it all more tangible. Seeing where I have disconnections and connections with other signs can explain some of the aspects in the chart, grounding them in our real experience of life and relationships.

              You seem to know yourself really well, that’s a beautiful ability to have!

              Like

  32. Hi there!

    I was surprised to read all the descriptions you’ve mentioned above. My Aquarian boyfriend who is 7 years younger than me but has VERY prominent Saturn in his chart totally behaves and act like that. He was told he looks older than his age (he’s 25), but only those who are close to him (example me) knows that he’s not that mature like how people always think his age is. At times he will act like a child with me,

    Yes, he’s cold. Not romantic. Always gives silent treatment. Difficult to express or let me know his true feelings. Not a man you can expect to say ‘i love you’ all the time. Stubborn. Very workaholic.

    Since I’m a 32 years old Cancerian woman with prominent Mercury in my chart, it’s kinda difficult and frustrating to have him talk or let me know what he really feels. I’m the one who always do the talk, crack a silly jokes (while he prefers dry/dark mind of jokes when he’s in the mood to joke around me.), asking him how’s everything going at work and home, etc. Very rarely he’ll ask me the same questions, it’s always me who initiates ‘my everyday story’ coz it seems that to him there are more other things important than asking me all that.

    Oh, I forgot to mention his retrograde Venus in Capricon. Seriously, I don’t know how to handle a Saturnian man with retrograde Venus, sometimes it made me feel like I’m talking to the wall or hugging a tree. There’s a warmness in him I can feel it, but he’s not gonna show it easily to me even though I’m his girlfriend.

    Does Capricorn people/dominant Saturnian always like this?

    Like

    • Hi, thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Aquarians can be very aloof, detached, off in a world of their own. They’re space cadets exploring the inner and outer universe, and they’re not really interested in mundane things unless there is something unusual going on. He’ll find discussing daily life boring if it is routine and will prefer to talk of other things, the weird, the curious, the different and strange. If you were abducted by aliens, struck by lightning and now have superpowers, or found a tunnel to the centre of the earth during your day, then he’ll find that interesting and want to know all about it, but it won’t occur to him to ask you – if you want him to know about your day or about yourself then you’re always going to have to start that conversation. It also might not even occur to him to discuss his feelings as he may not think about them he just feels them, and if he may not consider telling you in words that he loves you because he says it all the time by being with you – his presence in your life is proof that he loves you. That’s just the Aquarian way.

      You might find this interesting to read – http://sunsignsbylindagoodman.blogspot.co.uk/2009/09/aquarius-water-bearer-january-21st.html

      So some of what you’re experiencing of him will be the Aquarian influence, the Uranus side rather than the Saturn side.

      Venus in Capricorn will make him more down to earth in matters of the heart, and may make him more practical.

      Have you checked out his whole chart and compared it with yours to see how your two charts connect and disconnect?

      Astrology aside, if someone is a certain way then they’re more than likely always going to be that way as that’s who they are. Are you always going to be the way that you are?

      Don’t try to change him into someone he’s not, remind yourself that who he is is why you like him πŸ™‚ Love him just the way he is because that’s who you’re attracted to.

      Of course there are always going to be times where you may wish he was not the way that he is, that he was different, more like you need him to be for you. If you get stuck on an issue try a different approach, try seeing things from another perspective. If you have a dominant Mercury then you might enjoy doing that, see it as a puzzle to solve.

      Best wishes!

      Like

  33. Hi i hope you are still answering back on this topic. I am a 40 year old Leo woman and got out of a bad divorce an year ago. One of my school friends ( a senior and a Capricorn! ) contacted me on whatsapp after my divorce and said that he has loved me since we were teenagers. but he couldnt get around to saying it. he was married in between but got divorced. We didnt really talk while we were teenagers except for the occasional hi hello. i never knew how he felt and he never shared his feelings with anyone. Time and Life passed by and we never spoke once after college. but he said he kept me in his heart all this time. He wanted to start a relationship and i was reluctant initially because of my past and i warned him that he would face a lot of trouble with me initially as i had a lot of residual suppressed anger. He said he would handle it and stick with me and would make me see what love is. He showered me with love and affection and even though i gave him a hard time with my fights he was patient. but he did say that he was tired of fighting in his previous relationship and he didnt want fights with me. but in my unstable mindframe i kept up with the occasional fights. i didnt realize that he was noting all that. but i was falling harder for him day by day. i dont know why i fought with him. past anger? or what? maybe i fought with him because i wanted proof that he would stay with me no matter what. guess i was wrong. four months into the relationship after a fight he broke it off. Said it wasnt practical. Love was there but the deal supposedly was off in his mind. He said he couldnt see a future with this constant bickering.

    And now i regret it. i regret all that i did to him in such a short span. He claimed he loved me since 23 years! i apologised profusely but he remained adamant that there was no future and now since 2 months there has been no contact. i tried to talk to him to convince him that i was genuinely sorry and wouldnt do it again.Lets not break up! i am literally wanting to bang my head on the wall. i miss him and i love him like hell and want him to come back. but i dare not antagonise him further. i apologised four or five times and now i dont want to pester him anymore. He obviously backed down. He is the gentlest most intelligent man i know and i love him crazy. But now i think why did he force me to get into a relationship with him when i told him i had a lot of issues. and when i did fall for him why didnt he stick around. Will he come back? i dont think i can ever move on. Please help.

    Dejected and heartbroken leo.

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Sorry for the late reply.

      This is a complex scenario. I’m not sure what to advise.

      Leo and Capricorn is a good but challenging match up. Usually it is Leo who gets fed up with Capricorn as Capricorn tends to dent Leo’s ego too often, and Capricorn can be quite a stick-in-the-mud preferring to stay at home rather than socialise and have fun Leo style. Much depends upon the rest of the charts of the Leo and Capricorn as to how compatible they are. The Moon, Venus and Mars are worth looking into where relationship astrology is concerned, and also looking at chart synastry to see how the two charts interact.

      It sounds a bit as though he had a very idealised version of you and of how the relationship should be, and the reality of it may have burst his bubble. Being in unrequited love with you from a distance for all those years is quite something. Perhaps he needs time to adjust his long dream of love and connect it to the real deal. His version of you may not have been realistic.

      Capricorns can be strange about love matters. The most poignant film version of a male Capricorn in love is – The Remains of the Day (1993). Any film with Anthony Hopkins or Ralph Fiennes (both Capricorns) is worth a watch to get a feel for the sun sign. It’s a kind of stoic approach to love.

      If this man genuinely loves you, then he still will. It may all have been a bit too much for him. Capricorns can find Leo’s passionate fire a bit too much, too full on. Question is – Does he want the dream of unrequited ideal love or does he want the real thing?

      Capricorns can be quite hard-headed when they’ve made a decision, so best not to push the matter – let him have his space, and stew and brood, give him time to figure his issues out. In the meantime focus on yourself and on what you really want, what you need. Perhaps now is the time to have that period on your own which you wanted but he interrupted. You did warn him, but he didn’t listen in his haste to be with you. Maybe you both need a break, and after that you’ll come back to things with more clarity.

      One thing – Capricorns tend to prefer actions to words. If you want to get a point across to a Capricorn it’s usually better to show them through action rather than talk about it. They observe and listen a lot with their eyes. The best way to apologise or get a message through to a Capricorn is in doing what you’re saying, living it, and letting them see you doing it. If he sees you having fun, he may be unable to resist joining you. Leo has the most wonderful charm which even a distant Capricorn can’t resist.

      Best wishes!

      Like

    • Hi Ursula!

      It was such a relief to hear your explanation, especially for your great advice. I really don’t know what to do with this man, I mean what are the best way to know him and let him express his emotion more towards me (I have Venus in Leo, and he has retrograde Venus Capricorn. So I think you understand how disappointed I felt all the time when I don’t feel him make me like his queen/princess and for that lack of attention).

      I know we’re talking about Capricorn person here. And even he’s an Aquarian, I believe his strong Saturn influence him as well. But one thing that made me curious, does Capricorn people always stingy/cheapskate? Sorry, no offense here. I even have a younger brother who has Sun, moon, mercury, Venus and Neptune all in Capricorn. He doesn’t like to spend his money for our family, only for his needs. Another thing which I’ve always noticed about Capri people,they’re not the ‘lazy bum ass’ kinda people. It’s always about work or something they got to do , they never let the time pass just like that. Oh, me and my brother always argued (Me as Cancerian sun) and it’s always me who left the argument just like that because he will put up all his reason, excuses, etc whether they are right or wrong. And me being someone who feels ‘useless argument’ is pointless, I just left it.

      Few Capri ppl I’ve encountered, they’ve always liked to have this ‘wise-like attitude’ or they are some kind of teacher (think Master Yoda). As if when you know them very close, they ll never short all kind of advice of life, love, etc. Even those who doesn’t know anything or know a little can act like they have all the knowledge which they need to advice to the closer people. Even my brother and my man too! They are much younger but the way they speak, full of authority and like a boss who treat me like I’m his subordinates.

      I found out that you’re an INTP. We’re same, except I’m ALWAYS on borderline of INTP and INFP. That really depends on my mood and the current situation.

      By the way Ursula, I got our composite chart and synastry as well. And he dumped all his stellium planets into my 9th house, so do you think I should be happy or feel cautious about it? Few things I’ve notice we have double whammy Venus square Pluto in synastry, my Saturn square his Venus and Saturn too with lots of Jupiter conjunction. Oh, we have Sun conjunct Lilith too. Another Ursula, we’re having long distance relationship.

      As for composite, we have Venus conjunct Pluto.

      I don’t know how an Aquarian man with prominent Saturn who is 7 younger than me can handle those Pluto’s kick. Sometimes I just wanna give up because like you said, Aquarian is very detached plus his serious demeanor, sorta like to dress and being with upper class and influential people, workaholics towards career and money under Saturn traits and 7 planets in Capricorn made him really hard to understand. Do I need to walk away and be patience with him for another many years? If you have a look @ our chart do u think we’re meant to be together or I should just end our relationship? Just a simple yes or no would be sufficient for me.

      http://postimg.org/image/3r8zb9s6j/ (natal chart with more than 5 Capricorn sign)

      http://postimg.org/image/6eh1rop93/ (i’m the blue color. look @ his stellium in my 9th house.Oh my….)

      http://postimg.org/image/xx3m9tkcf/ (composite)

      Warm regards,
      Erica

      Like

      • I think if you’re asking a question like this – “do u think we’re meant to be together or I should just end our relationship?” – then you may already have the answer to it yourself, as in you know what you want to do but you’re worried about making a mistake and regretting it.

        There are times when no one else can tell you what to do – this is one of those times.

        If you’re expecting him to change – that’s not going to happen. He is who he is, just as you are who you are. He probably likes being the way he is, just as you like being the way you are, and he would like to loved for being the way he is, just as you would like to be loved for being the way that you are. That’s a basic foundation of being in love – to love a person as they are (not for who you would like them to be or become for you).

        Question is – do you like/love him the way he is?

        The answer to that is something you already know.

        Like

  34. OMG, hi i am a Virgo-Libra cusp , me and my Cappy have been friends first for a couple of years and then we kind of got involved almost 3 years later and still unofficial, we’re basically ‘married’ (always talking “we” “us” future stuff – basically live together , separately but spend almost everyday&night with one another) i went through a rough year and although i know he hated me and the moods i was in at the times he was always there and even through the cold i felt his heart for me. (now we’ve slowed down a bit on seeing eachother, but it also has to do with our work schedules a little)
    (3 years of details in between lol) ive told him i love him countless times (because itruly do) and i was fine with not hearing it back because i know he wont say it if he doesnt mean it (and i prefer it that way) so he would just not respond or say i dont love anyone atm lol anyway. through the good times and baddddddd we always get right back, ive brought the love word up recently and he hasnt verbally said yes back or “me too” but hes gestured it with a head nod showing yes or whatever else. ..

    i dont doubt his feelings for me but i do sometimes wonder if i am too much for him, (i am an open book, i wear my heart on my sleeve, i cant hid my emotion – it alwayssss shows on my face etc etc) but hes always there ! here! with me. for me. he knows i have his back no matter what but i want to know why we’re not official yet. i get them move slow but howwwww slow, its not like we werent friends before and he has to “get to know me” from scratch (so i wonder to myself is he playing games, which i know they generally dont do especially when it comes to the heart) and when i ask he says he plans to be with me and his intentions are for it to be us in the end BUT it wasnt until i pressured the topic maybe a year and a little in and thennnn he tells me “hes not ready for a relationship” but he does everything in relationship manner – granted i was coming out of a relationhip so at first hes right i didnt want one but time has passed feelings have progressed. should i just take what he says not being ready for just that, is he scared? still hurt from his x? so many questions lol i just want to know every in andout about him

    but this confuses me because before we even got invlved in any type of way he told me i would have his children but of course just being friends at the time i took it as a joke and laughed. now that we are intimate, hes never stopped saying it one. he also always lets me know “im not going anywhere” in turn reassuring (and sometimes just implying) neither is he…but no REAL commitment yet i dont get it

    making me feel like i need to give him an ultimatum 😦 which i dont want to do because i know his stubborn ass will not give me what i want in that situation. i know patience is needed with yall capricorns but my heart and my head are at war right now. (DOB: him – 12-26 // me – 09-23)

    (sorry if im all over the place and all the typos i was rushing, im in class lol) ps= we’re both in our mid 20s

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      From what you’ve said it sounds to me as though you have a really lovely friendship and love relationship with your Cappy. It helps that you understand your Cappy’s relationship style – slow and cautious, intensely loyal, and very stubborn – never rush a Capricorn, they’ll dig their heels in (if someone tries to rush me when I’m standing in line at the supermarket I will go into slow motion – I know it’s annoying if the person behind me has places to go, but Capricorns deal with pressure by slowing time down, it’s a Saturn thing).

      Capricorns are age conscious, and when in their mid 20’s they tend to think of themselves as being too young to make serious decisions, because the sign is serious all the time due to Saturn being the sign’s ruling planet (Saturn, in mythology, ate his children – which could be seen as eating youth. Capricorns age backwards and tend to be more spontaneous as they get older, when they’re younger, they’re very old and rather square, the inner child is constantly being told to wait, wait, wait).

      To use astrology in relationships you really need to go deeper into your chart and his chart, look at them individually and then as they interact together (synastry and comparison charts). To look at more than just the Sun signs, because the Sun sign is just a small part of the whole. It also helps to factor in transits as Capricorn is having a doozy right now in the form of Pluto in Capricorn.

      This is a good site to learn more about relationship astrology – http://sasstrology.com/

      Are you a Libra Sun? Because your DoB is right on the cusp of Virgo/Libra. Going by what you’ve said I’d guess you were a Libra Sun, in which case your Sun squares his, so you both want to be in charge of the relationship and how it progresses, power games may occur due to both of you being Cardinal signs. This is a post worth reading about that – http://www.llewellyn.com/journal/article/2031

      Overall it sounds like a great relationship. I’d suggest checking out your own chart more in detail (which you can do for free on Astro.com), especially the transit astro of your chart as it might explain some elements of why your head and heart are battling and you’re getting antsy about the situation.

      If you can – avoid giving a Capricorn an ultimatum. Ultimatums tend to bring out the colder and logical side of a Capricorn. The mind takes over from the heart. It’s more likely to work against you than it is to work for you. Try to find another way of doing things which will suit you and your Cappy in a balanced way. Keeping ti true to yourself but not cornering him.

      You’ve described a rare and precious relationship, you both seem to get each other even when you have differences due to your individual styles, and you got a beautiful mix of friendship and love. Take good care of this relationship, it’s hard to find. You’ve got something many people wish for. Don’t get too distracted by what you haven’t got, focus on what you do have – you have a lot. Sure, there is always more which you may want, but remind yourself of what you have when chasing the more that you want.

      Weigh the pros and cons of your decisions carefully. Heart and mind need to argue sometimes, but they also have moments of being in sync, pay attention to those too.

      Best wishes!

      Like

  35. Ok I need some advice– I am a Capricorn woman and there is a Capricorn man at work and we have chemistry. We have mutual friends at work and we have been out in groups together. We wok together on a project which should have ended months ago but we both keep adding to it. I agree to keep working on it (secretly just so I can keep seeing him). He has never said that he likes me or wants to date me, but he stares into my eyes (and my butt when he thinks I don’t see) and asks questions so I maybe am full of wishful thinking but there honestly seems to be something there. Now something seems to have shifted and its not good. He contacted me as soon as he had returned from holiday (emailed) we met in his office chatted had a laugh etc. I had agreed to do some extra work on the project which was above and beyond what I needed to do. I then realised how much I liked him and got scared because I am not sure if he is interested at all (that is a bad position to be in). The next day (i was feeling vulnerable) and I ignored him and then on the second interaction I spoke quickly about printers and literally ran away (yes I am a bit of a moron). I sent an email to say my apologies if I was a bit short yesterday…..then the awkwardness started…I kept running into him the next day at work and he would literally say two words to me ……that had never happened. He was always keeping the conversion going. I felt like crying –it was an 180 degree turn around. What if anything can I do?

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      From what you’ve shared it sounds to me as though a gentle romance is blossoming. The only hiccup in the smooth flow seems to be that you started to behave in a standoffish manner due to feeling vulnerable (which is understandable) and he has adjusted his behaviour accordingly.

      He seems to be mimicking what you’ve been doing, taking his cues from you, so perhaps he thinks you’re not as into him as he is into you, and he’s trying to appear as disinterested as you appear to him to be.

      What do Capricorns tend to do when they think their feelings are not reciprocated?

      We tend to back away and pretend we’re not as interested as we are, because we’re such a cautious sign.

      What can you do?

      This is tricky as you’re worried about being vulnerable, perhaps being made to feel foolish, and so many other concerns in such delicate situations.

      Is he genuinely interested in having a relationship with you which goes beyond the boundaries of work or was he just interested in you because you were working on a project together and his interest made you go beyond the call of duty?

      There really is only one way to find out, but it means that you may have to make the next move and be forward about it. Relationships involve a certain amount of risk.

      Are you interested enough in him to take a risk to find out if this is something more, or would you rather play it safe?

      Do you want a relationship with him, or at least to find out if he wants one with you, which is more than just work, or did you just like having him chase you while you played hard to get.

      We’re all prone to liking the attentions of an admirer without wanting to do more about it. His interest was flattering, and you enjoyed it. But are you interested in him because you like his interest in you or because you truly want to get to know him on another level?

      Ask yourself what you really want, and the ‘what to do’ of it will be answered.

      Best wishes!

      Like

  36. PS I’m Virgo rising/sag sun/Leo moon/sag Mercury/libra Venus/libra Mars
    He is libra rising/cap sun/cap moon/cap Mercury/sag Venus/Aqua Mars

    Thanks

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Heartbreak is never easy to experience, however it can open us up to what we truly need and wish for ourselves. Our heart knows what is good for us, but our mind often overrides the heart, thinking ourselves into relationships, and keeping us in them when they are no longer right for us. When our heart breaks it is speaking to us through our pain, our tears, our flowing feelings.

      Your relationship with this man showed you what you enjoy, but also what you don’t enjoy. It showed you what you’re willing to do for another to make things work, what kind of relationship you would like, what appeals to you in a romantic partner, and it showed you where your boundaries are too.

      It’s interesting to look at a relationship astrologically, even with only just the Sun signs – which aren’t the best indicator when dealing with matters of love, for that you need to look at Moon, Venus, and Mars.

      Sagittarius and Capricorn often get along. Capricorn benefits from the openness and adventurous nature of Sagittarius, and Sagittarius benefits from the stability and focus of Capricorn. So your Sun signs will enjoy each other’s company. On the flip side – Capricorn will find Sagittarius irresponsible, and Sagittarius will find Capricorn to be a stick in the mud.

      Your Moons, your respective emotional natures and needs for nurturing, will clash. Your Leo Moon loves to be loved and to be in love, needs attention, wants to be romanced, showered with gifts, is nurtured by passion, and is very generous and giving. Capricorn Moon is a difficult position for the emotional nature and nurturing, it tends to create a cold heart – at least that’s how it can come across in relationships. Cap Moon will feel very strongly, deeply, but may not be able to express it or share it, and can cut itself off from feelings more easily than other Moon signs, especially if hurt.

      You mentioned that he’d had a setback in his career – this is most probably what changed the relationship. Career is very important to Capricorns, and a Cap Sun/Moon will be affected both through ego (Sun) and emotion (Moon) by their career and status. Since he also has Cap Mercury, his mind will not be able to focus on anything else until he has sorted out what’s going on with the foundations of his life.

      It is also worth noting that Pluto – the bringer of change, transformation, death and rebirth – is transiting through Capricorn so anyone with planets in the sign is going to go through some profound changes which may make them seem crazy to everyone else, they may feel like they’re going crazy as a Pluto transit can be very disorienting while it reorients. It tends to demolish your structures to then rebuild them on more solid foundations.

      Therefore your Cap man is going to go through some big life changes, and he may not be able to give others the attention which they want from him. He needs to focus on sorting himself out – That’s a Pluto transit must.

      His back problems are a sign that he’s having trouble coping with the responsibilities in his life. He’s collapsing under the weight of it. Chances are he’s trying to be responsible for everything and everyone (very Capricorn to do that) and he’s stretched himself too far. Capricorns absolutely hate being sick, and won’t admit it until they fall over and can’t move. They suck at accepting help, and don’t want sympathy. However, when they’ve finally admitted (usually because they can’t deny it anymore) that they’re sick, they appreciate being given consideration – just don’t try to do anything for them, other than realise just how bad things are for them to admit they’re unwell. Back away carefully from a Capricorn when they are sick, leave a cup of tea on their bedside table when they’re asleep – they’ll like that, it will let them know you care without your care overwhelming them (making them feel helpless – they hate feeling helpless).

      Your respective Mars and Venus, are very compatible.

      His Venus in Sag will find your Sag Sun/Merc very attractive. When he made plans to visit you, run away to be with you, marry you, he probably meant it and wanted to do it. Adventure is something his Venus will love. And his Aqua Mars will love it too, it has a lust for freedom and new experiences. However all his Capricorn placements will restrict his ability to actually follow his Venus plans. And his Mars Aqua can flip like a coin – he’d have been attracted to your Sag independent gypsy vibe, but put off by you wanting to pin him down in any way.

      When he said – “I don’t know what more I can say to you, I told you I wanted space, I can’t do this anymore…” – that’s his Mars in Aqua talking. That’s also a man talking to a woman when everything he says and does seems to make her unhappy and he’s frustrated.

      His Libra rising will click with your Libra Venus/Mars, those will also work well with his Mars/Venus. However, Libra is a Cardinal sign, and Cardinal signs like to be in charge. All his Capricorn (which is also Cardinal) will square off with your Libra. You both want to be in charge of this relationship.

      Your Virgo rising will appeal to his Capricorn, but be careful of the anxious worrying side of having that rising sign (my rising sign too). Capricorns find fussiness irritating (my Cap Sun gets irritated by my Virgo side).

      Capricorns blow hot and cold, and can come across more cold than hot – it’s a mind over heart scenario. Hot when they go with their heart, cold when the mind takes over – the mind tends to be in charge as much as it can because it thinks it’s more reliable than the heart. In the case of your Cap, both his heart and mind are in Cap.

      You might find this worth reading – http://sasstrology.com/2015/08/dealing-with-your-aloof-capricorn-partner.html – that site has lots of info on relationship astrology.

      What should you do? – Do what you truly want to do. Do what is right for you, and only you know what that is.

      And check out your own chart, see where recent transits are, especially the slow moving ones – Saturn has just moved into Sagittarius, it’s worth checking out what kind of influence that will have for you, particularly when it conjuncts your Sun – http://sasstrology.com/2014/07/saturns-transit-of-sagittarius-relationship-ideals-get-real.html

      Take good care of yourself!

      Like

      • Thank you for taking the time out to respond to me, your words have a healing quality…like food for the soul. I really appreciate your help and I hope that whatever the outcome it will be good for me. I’m going to read your suggestions and in the meantime keep up the good work 😊😊😊

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          • Just an update:

            He contacted me four days after breaking up with me saying ‘hey you got a sec’ via and I replied ‘hi’ he said ‘we need to talk’ and we did. He explained that he’s going through a lot right now and listed all the things he had to deal with (financial and family). He said he really likes me and that he wishes I was there to give him a hug. I asked if he was still my baby and he said ‘if I can wait’ he needs to deal with his issues. I did offer to help him but he declined and I admire him for that. Since then because hes been so honest with me Ive backed off a bit but have sent him a text a few days ago.

            You were right about pluto, recently he’s been decorating his house and he put on his status ‘breaking down to build back up’ maybe its symbolic of himself and the relationship 😊

            Thanks again

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              • Hello again,

                It’s me…so from the last time I posted things have been good with my Capricorn. We’ve had a few minor hiccups but we’ve managed to get over them and move on. However at this point in time I’m yet again at a state of heartbreak and I don’t know how much more of this I can take. So we are doing long distance, I’ve live in Dubai and he lives in the UK, his plan was always to come and visit me and he’s been saying from last year that he was coming. When I was in the UK he said he will be here by the end of April. April has come and gone and he still has not come. Me being the impotent Sagittarius that I am have started to ask more when he will be here, the other day he was saying that he plans to take his son to Orlando Florida…I don’t begrudge him going anywhere with his son, but I did ask again have you booked your ticket for dubai? He said yes he’s not only booked it but he’s paid for it. I asked him for a date and he refuses to tell me saying ”every time you ask me I’m gonna push the date back by a week”…why would he do that? If u want to be here, you would be here right? We wouldn’t even be having the conversation.

                Anyway here is the killer of it all! I call him one morning, he’s with one of his friends at 6:30 in the morning. He’s usually at work. I ask why he’s with thus particular person so early, he says that somethings happened and that he will call me back and tell me about it. He didn’t but he messaged me saying that he’s been working really hard from 6 till 6 blah blah blah. Then I don’t hear from him for a couple of days and I decide to call him again. He answers and he sounds like he just woke up, he rushes me off the phone again and says he will call back, this time texting saying that he’s in Germany for work at a meeting. I didn’t believe him from the way he’s been acting from the past couple days. So he sends me some pictures of the hotel he’s staying at and skypes me and shows me his room to assure me he’s not with another girl. When I saw his room there was alcohol and I questioned why he would even need this on a 4 day work trip. To cut the long story short he was lying and I did some detective work and found out he was really in America. I was livid and started to bombard him with messages and calls after I had confronted him.

                He won’t admit to it, but he won’t deny it either. I hate liars!!!! As probably everyone does but are capricorns known for lying? I’m so upset because I love him. He asked me if I loved him first and after I told him yes I asked him the same question and he said yes…maybe it was a lie, but why???

                If he could come clean and admit he lied then maybe I could get past it, but since then he’s made minimal contact with me on whatsapp and I continue to ask him if he lied to me and that I just wanna talk and air things out but he said just because I’m ready to talk doesn’t mean that he is.

                Oh and I called him all kinds of names under the sun and he’s saying that he’s not into name calling and all of that…but if I call you a liar because you lied how is that name calling.

                What frustrates me is that fact that he’s leaving me hanging and not confront in the situation, it makes me even more angry. I feel like I’m being punished for his wrong.

                Like

                  • Hi there, *impatient* πŸ™‚

                    If there is one thing you have to have when dealing with a Capricorn is – loads of patience – because the sign is very slow and will go slower if you try to rush them.

                    I know quite a few people, mostly males, who have stated something similar to what your Capricorn said – ”every time you ask me I’m gonna push the date back by a week” – what this means is that they see you as being a nag who doesn’t trust them to do what they said they would do and know that you want them to do. When they say that it means they’re calling you out on being a nag and are trying to let you know that every time you nag them to do something that they said they would do and know that you want them to do you forfeit time on them actually doing it. In other words – it’s your fault they’re not doing it and haven’t done it.

                    You may not see yourself as nagging them and not trusting them to do something – but they see it that way, so what they say reflects how they see it.

                    Most of those I know who have said this tend to do what they say they’re going to do if you leave them alone to get on with it – which means you must not remind them to do it. However I do know a few who never had the intention of doing what they said they would do – they simply agreed to do it to shut you up, please you, sound like great people to your ears.

                    It’s basically a counter to a power game – you’re trying to control them, they don’t like it when people try to control them, so they bring in a counter measure to curb your controlling and control you instead. This kind of game leads to friction in relationships, usually it’s only played where friction already had set into the relationship.

                    You haven’t trusted your Capricorn for a long time. Everything that has been going on between you, a lot of what you have shared about what you have done, is influenced by your lack of trust in him and your wanting him to somehow win your trust by proving your distrust wrong – but you’ll never trust him. And each time he breaks your trust your distrust wins.

                    When someone knows that you don’t trust them – which from what you’ve shared about him shows he knows you don’t trust him – they either go out of their way to win your trust and play by your rules or they go in the opposite direction – neither of which is good for a healthy relationship.

                    You’ve now gone from being the interesting wild and passionate woman (Sagittarius freedom loving gypsy) he met on a night out who loved him as he was when she met him, accepted him there and then, and spent time living out your fantasies of love together, to being a restrictive authority figure (you’re being more of a Capricorn with him than he is being a Capricorn with you), a scolding mother figure, a policewoman to his naughty boy.

                    You’re playing a relationship game with him similar to this one outlined by Eric Berne in Games People PLay – http://www.ericberne.com/games-people-play/now-ive-got-you-you-son-of-a-bitch-nigysob/ – with a bit of this one – http://www.ericberne.com/games-people-play/uproar/

                    You don’t mean to do this, you just want what you had when you first met and connected with him which was wonderful, swept you off your feet, made you want more, something more lasting, but it’s not happening and you’re frustrated – he’s not who you want and need him to be for you. He never will be, you know that, but you don’t want to accept that this momentary something wonderful didn’t become a lifelong wonderful. You’re ready for the kind of relationship which is meaningful, serious, respectful – you thought maybe he could give that to you, but he’s not on the same relationship page as you.

                    Waiting for him to admit to lying, apologise in a way which will satisfy you may mean being forever caught in an impossible situation because he’s waiting for you to be who he wants and needs you to be for him and admitting to lying and apologising isn’t a part of his side of your relationship story.

                    I’d advise you to cut your losses and move on – but that’s always easier said than done.

                    Be honest with yourself – what do you really want, and what do you really deserve, and are the two things in agreement. You deserve more than what you’re getting from him, he can’t give you what you want. And Sun sign astrology although interesting isn’t really useful at this stage of your relationship.

                    Respect yourself and take good care of your heart and soul!

                    Like

  37. Hello, I really hope you are still answering questions.

    I’m a Sagittarius female and I met a Capricorn male a couple months ago. We met at a party and initially he was acting very shy but he still approached me and from there we hit it off. He was really sweet, took me to dinner, went to the theatre and spent quality time at his place. The sex was amazing! However I live in Dubai, I was in the UK were I’m originally from for a holiday. I didn’t know how he would deal with the long distance so I didn’t push anything, but to my surprise he still wanted to keep in contact and he would call me everyday. Sometimes we would Skype or text but the communication was just the same as it was when I first met him. He even spoke about coming over to see me in a couple months time (his suggestion).

    Anyway he recently lost one of his jobs (he had two jobs plus his own business), he always found time for me when he had all those jobs but since he lost one, the contact started to dwindle. I found that I was always initiating contact but he would still respond and answer my calls. Then I noticed that he was going to book his ticket but because of this job issue he didn’t (which I understood) but then he had money to go on two other holidays that he had pre planned. He also told me he had bought his mum a tv and lent his friend a substantial amount of money, and it’s here that I started to get worried, because I thought I’m not even a priority.

    Then I decided to back off and not contact him, I didn’t hear from him for a day then he messages me ‘hey I’m just checking in on you, just about to start my sons party’ I responded ‘I hope it’s going well’ he didn’t respond. Then we had a bit of back and forth contact after that but things still didn’t feel the same. Then we went for 4 days without contact, I broke the ice and contacted him, I asked if he was ok…he said he was in the hospital he had back problems. I was shocked and felt awful and asked if he was ok, he said he was fine and in true Capricorn style he didn’t take any days off work. Then I noticed that I would send him a text on whatapp but he wouldn’t read it (blue tick wouldn’t show but he was still online) I questioned him about this he was very nonchalant as if I was acting crazy. Then I broke up with him because he was ignoring my calls for the whole day. Again he responded to my angry text but in a nonchalant way.

    We didn’t speak for another 4 days I spoke to him (I initiated contact again!) this time he said he was actually in the hospital (oh yeah I called because I noticed that he had blocked my number from one of his phones) I asked if he was ok, he sounded like he was in a lot of pain but my suspious mind told me he was faking it because he was unaware who was calling him and I called on private number. I asked him why he had blocked me he said that he’s blocked everyone, hes going through somethings and that’s what he does he just shuts down until he’s gone through that particular stage and that his mum even gets annoyed at him when he does that. I asked him if he wanted me to do anything, can I help in anyway or does he want me to just stop calling, he said that I just need to BE…be me (whatever that means) he also said that he’s thinking about cutting off his phone because he has too many out goings etc…ok I get it we spoke a little then he said he wanted to get some sleep so I said bye. However I put his number into my international phone and realised that he hadn’t blocked everyone and that he was still online even after we spoke! I was fuming because all I want is for him to be truthful and not play with my heart.

    I called him again and confronted him, he got all flustered and said I’ll call you back, I said no you wont! He said i will…of course he didn’t but a few minutes later he had unblocked me on whatsapp and said ‘I don’t know what more I can say to you, I told you I wanted space, I can’t do this anymore…etc basically breaking up with me. He used exactly the same words I used on him a few days before…lol. I’m just so heartbroken because I just wanted him to be honest with me instead of stringing me along…I’m all the way in another country! What more space does one need. I feel so bad that I had to pry it out of him and wish he could have been man enough to tell me that he didn’t want to be in a relationship from the start, instead he sold me a dream, about coming over, saying he wants to have babies with me and that we could get married after a year or two. He would compliment me all the time and said that he wanted me in his life. I’m so confused and angry at him that I bet this story doesn’t even make sense. I cried the whole day…what should I do? I’m so hurt 😦

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  38. Hello!:) I just wanted to know about your thoughts about Virgo female relationship with a male Capricorn. You see we both have plenty of respect for each other and think alike, best friends for six years. We’ve always liked each other but our timing has always been off. He states that he loves me and I believe him. I see many people here ask that but I want to know common facts between the two. I don’t want to ask him and I’m left assuming (like everyone else in this post) because capricorns do seem to come off as to themselves. That is quite alright but when it involves me, I like straightforward so I don’t cling on or give him too much or too little attention. It’s interesting with capricorns, I have too much respect to step on his toes and I guess I would like to know what his plans are. Yes we’ve been best friends and he lives a city away, but there’s something we cannot deny when we are near eachother. We are both 21 but I’ve always felt lien he’s prolonged the process and has possibly tried not to date me because perhaps deep down he feels it would be bad to lose a friend this way if we broke up. I feel so bad because as a Virgo I analyze and overthink and get embarrassed easily. I know he doesn’t like people to know how he feels and doesn’t like to be analyzed but it is one of my traits. Odd thing- my other guy best friend is a Capricorn with a very similar situation to mine with his Virgo girl friend. She has always felt like I do too. Ahh. I’m concerned that he can be so affectionate and loving speaking about marriage one moment, then can remove it. My affections are as consistent as possible or I try to be and I’m very vocal about things. Is he simply scared of looking to vulnerable for his own insecurities? Will he always be this hot and cold even if we do get in a relationship?:(

    Like

    • Hi, thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      I’m a Capricorn (female) and my partner of almost 20 years is a Virgo (male). We get along very well, particularly as we both respect the other’s individuality, which is something that Virgos and Capricorn tend to do in relationships. The combination of the two signs is a good one, especially for the long term and it tends to come with a strong bond of friendship.

      Here is a long and slightly odd (you’ll see why if you read it), but good description of a Virgo/Capricorn relationship by Linda Goodman – http://horoscopespot.net/virgo-capricorn-compatibility/ – which you might enjoy reading.

      Using astrology to understand a person, a relationship, works better if you look at the whole natal chart and not just the Sun signs, and compare all the planets, as well as looking at the houses of relationship. It also helps to compare the charts to see where there are challenges and harmonious connections.

      I have Virgo rising, and my Moon (emotional nature) is in Virgo, and there are many compatible connections between my chart and my partner’s chart. My Mars and his Venus connect – astrologers often use Mars and Venus in people’s chart to see how they interact romantically.

      So if you want to know more about your relationship using astrology, look at all of his chart, look at all of yours, and compare the two. You can get your charts done online for free on this site – http://www.astro.com/ – and there are lots of excellent resources online to give you more information about relationship astrology. This site is very informative – http://sasstrology.com/

      The main areas of conflict or difficulty between the two signs tends to be due to the same things which make them compatible. I once read a an interpretation which said that this combination can drift apart because they are so similar, and sometimes they forget why they’re together. Time apart can actually strengthen the bond of mutual affection, because in the case of Virgo and Capricorn absence does make the heart grow fonder. Both signs need time to themselves, problems arise when those times aren’t synchronised – Virgo wants to spend time with Cappy when Cappy wants to be alone, and vice versa.

      One thing which struck me about your relationship is your ages. Both Capricorn and Virgo are mature at any age, although Capricorns tend to become more immature as they get older. They are very serious when young, almost too serious (more so than Virgos), and tend to be very focused on one thing – which is usually their career. They sometimes sacrifice relationships, fun, and many other pleasures for the sake of their career, until they get older and then they tend to chill out and make up for what they’ve been missing.

      So, your Capricorn may want to marry you, but may be conflicted about how marriage will impact his career and how his career will impact his marriage. He has most probably thought about it in depth, weighing pros and cons, and can’t decide whether to follow his heart or his head. So one day his heart leads, and then his head takes over – this is what is behind the blowing hot and cold, and that is a constant in a Capricorn’s life. The head tends to win when Capricorns make decisions, especially when they are younger.

      Capricorn on the zodiac wheel is on the 10th/4th house axis, which is career vs home. This is an in depth look into what that means – http://beyondthestarsastrology.com/2015/10/15/analysis-of-the-10th-house4th-house-nodal-axis-through-the-signs/

      If any sign can make a Capricorn relax about their vulnerabilities and insecurities, it’s a Virgo, as long as Virgo keeps their analytical mind away from being critical. Both signs are very sensitive to criticism and shut down when they feel criticised – this is part of the opposing sign dynamic that all signs have. With Capricorn, their sensitive side is Cancer. With Virgo, their sensitive side is Pisces.

      One fun way of understanding more about a sign is to look at celebrities of that sign. This site is good for that – http://www.astrotheme.com/ – Many Capricorn actors sometimes play aloof, hard to know characters, and they are sometimes publicly elusive.

      One of the most well known Virgo female/Capricorn male couples is Bacall and Bogart. The films they were in together had a certain Cappy and Virgo vibe, especially To Have and Have Not.

      Your Capricorn appreciates your straightforwardness, that’s one of the many things which Caps and Virgos have in common, so if you really want to know where things stand between you, just ask him in a no pressure manner. He may or may not tell you, but he’ll like that you were up front and asked him straight up.

      You know him well, and you know yourself well, trust what you know.

      Best wishes!

      Like

      • Thank you so much for your answers they definitely do help a bunch! From your experience, at what age did you meet your husband?:) if you don’t mind me asking:)

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        • TY πŸ™‚

          I was in my late 20’s… either 28 or 29. Can’t recall exactly because I can never remember the year we met, I keep meaning to have the date tattooed on my skin (I’m actually serious about that, I just keep forgetting to get it done).

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  39. I am a Capricorn woman and date a Capricorn man we been together almost 2 years now with a baby and things are not the same anymore. . They havent been for awhile and i just want them to be right but how ? We both are very stubborn (ofcourse being Capricorns)
    But me as a female i do want some type of romance & trust. ..and nun of that is there anymore he cheat and i just CANT trust him in always scared he will do it again and he hasnt shown me once why i should trust him …. i need security and assurance but how can i get us back ? I love him i just want things to be better then they are .

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      All relationships are subject to change, we all grow and evolve through our relationships, and once a shift has happened there is no going back to the way things were. Sometimes things change for the better and we’re happy with the shift, it’s only when things change in a way which we don’t like that we tend to worry about the shift.

      The birth of a child can completely alter the dynamics of a relationship.

      The author Thomas Moore has written about relationships in an insightful way in a book called Soul Mates, this is an article about that – https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199403/soul-mates

      If you love him and would like to continue being in a relationship with him, then the issues which are bothering you need to be addressed. Both by looking into yourself and figuring out what you really want and what you are willing to do and not do, and by looking into him and figuring out what he wants, and why he does what he does.

      His cheating is a part of him. If you want to continue in your relationship with him then you need to understand why he does it. Maybe he doesn’t understand why he does it, as cheating can sometimes be a compulsion within the person who cheats which has nothing to do with his relationship with you and everything to do with his relationship with himself. If he is a serial cheater then he will do it again and again until he decides to change the compulsion to do it.

      Most people have set patterns of behaviour which other people can’t change for them, they have to decide to change themselves, and that can be difficult to do, especially if it is a coping mechanism or something learned in childhood. What do you know of his parents’ relationship and how he experienced it? Did one of his parents cheat?

      You need to ask yourself if you can ever get past the cheating or if this will always be there as an obstacle to trust. If he were to make some changes to win your trust back, would you accept that he was making an effort or would you always be watching him for any breach of trust. Would you be willing to let go of the past or would you always hold it against him, and the slightest mistake he makes will bring it all back. Will you constantly be looking at him with eyes of judgment waiting for him to fail you?

      Trust is a personal experience, it is often influenced by our earliest relationships, and previous experiences, as well as by our relationship with ourselves. Our relationships with others, especially the issues which arise in them are often reflections of issue which we have in our relationship with ourselves, and of ones we had as children, and which perhaps were present in our parents’ relationships.

      The situation in which you find yourself is a complex one, and won’t be simple or easy to resolve. Have you spoken to him about this? If yes, what has he said? And how did you feel about his side of the matter?

      Have you considered couples counseling? It’s quite a good way to resolve relationship issues, as both of you get to discuss you side of the story, and the counselor helps to mediate.

      Astrology, particularly just Sun sign astrology won’t clarify the matter.

      Take good care of yourself!

      Like

  40. I’m a Virgo who met a Capricorn this May who lives in the same apartment block as me. We hangout quite often after work. I really do have feelings for this person and found that this cappy’s dating relationship was on the verge of splitting. And so often I was there for this Capricorn, consulted and rant all it’s problems to me. In short months, relationship for this cappy was over, after which I did express my love interest. I was rejected, the cappy commented that I’m expecting things from it like to reciprocate the love back. Cappy went missing, deleted me off Facebook, didn’t reply my last conversation and messages. As a virgo, i don’t handle rejections well since I took the effort to conferss even though I’m not certain of the result. I was depressed. After two months of disappearance, the cappy texted a short message wishing me happy birthday. And so we continue contacting but I kept it to a minimum. The cappy has been initiating meet ups. We met, catch up on life. After a few sessions, I found out that the cappy has problems in it’s workplace. And yes I was there again to listen to it’s problems and hangout to distress. I strongly do have feelings for this cappy but I don’t get the vibes that the cappy would be interested in me. What should I do? I don’t want to invest my feelings to get hurt again from it. I can wait for this cappy but I’m not sure will a Capricorn have a change of heart and maybe love me back one day? Or does this cappy only finds me when it got problems? Please advise πŸ˜₯

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Keep in mind that Sun signs only give you a rough guideline about people, and the Sun is only a portion of a whole chart. The Sun represents the ‘ego’ of a person.

      If you’re using astrology to understand someone better, you really need to look at their whole chart. For matters pertaining to romance you need to look at their Moon sign for their emotional nature, Venus and Mars for their passions and loves, and it also helps to look at the 7th house, the house of relationship, what sign is on the cusp and if there are planets in that house.

      To know more about your relationship with them, it also is worth comparing your chart with theirs.

      But to do all of this you need their birth data, and that’s not always easy to get.

      Superficially, Virgo and Capricorn are a good match. They’re both complex signs, so they tend to understand each other better than other signs. They’re both patient, cautious, and take their time before committing to a relationship – they like to get to know people slowly. However, they’re also both very guarded and hard to get to know. Both signs tend to be careful and reluctant about exposing and sharing their feelings.

      There are similarities between the signs which is why they often get along well, but the differences can cause issues.

      The one point which might be worth reviewing in the story of your relationship is that you met after your Capricorn had just ended a relationship. Capricorns don’t tend to get over relationships quickly, even if they are the ones to end it. If the break up was painful, it may take them ages to get over the pain – even if they appear on the surface to be over it. Still waters run very deep. And they will take a long time to decide to enter a serious relationship, especially after a serious relationship ended badly.

      You were a good friend to them while they were in need, a Capricorn always appreciates this and will never forget when someone is good to them, but when you shared your feelings for them with them it was probably too soon for them. I know you said months had gone by after your Capricorn’s break up, but Capricorn’s ruling planet is Saturn – and Saturn is a slow moving planet, which represents the passage of time. Months is just a few days for a Capricorn.

      You were not rejected by your Capricorn. When someone tells a Capricorn that they love them or are interested in them that way, a Capricorn sometimes feels burdened by the responsibility of it and takes a time out. Your Capricorn was being honest with you about where they stood on the matter. You wanted from them what they couldn’t give you, they did not want to play with your heart, so they took themselves out of the picture.

      Capricorn considers love to be a serious matter, and sometimes Capricorns consider love to be a burden because it is a great responsibility and needs to be treated with care.

      When other people tell you that they love you, that they are interested in having a love relationship with you, if you are not ready to have that kind of relationship, then you need to be straightforward about it – but the person who wants a love relationship with you may not like being told that you’re not ready to have that kind of relationship with them, they love you and they want you to love them back. They don’t want to wait for you to be ready when they are ready. Capricorns do not like to be put in difficult situations, nor do they like to be pressured, especially not if it concerns love.

      You said – I don’t want to invest my feelings to get hurt again from it. – your Capricorn feels the same way. They’ve just recently come out of a relationship wherein they invested their feelings and got hurt. It may have been months ago, but again, months is just days for a Capricorn.

      If you can’t wait for this Capricorn, then you’re probably better off ending this now. The time that your Capricorn needs to heal their broken heart may be too long for you because you came into this relationship just as theirs was ending. You want them to hurry up and mend their broken heart so they can give it to you. You’ve had your heart broken before, therefore you know how long it can take for that kind of pain to heal, and for you to be ready to love again.

      If you’re listening to your Capricorn tell you their problems hoping that this will earn you love points and get them to love you, you’re seeing this relationship more as a business arrangement than about love.

      Virgos love to help other people, and make great confidantes and listeners, just make sure you’re being helpful for the right reasons otherwise you’ll end up holding it against your Capricorn and blaming them for what you’re doing for them. You’re the one who has offered to be there for your Capricorn when they need someone to talk to about their problems, when they’re in distress. Virgos tend to place themselves in that position. If you’re fed up with playing that role, stop doing it. If you want to spend time with them not talking about their problems, change the subject, make it about something you’re interested in, maybe arrange to do something silly and fun – Capricorns love that even if most people don’t know how much they love have silly crazy fun.

      Your Capricorn is interested in you – they remembered your birthday, didn’t they? They’ve been hanging out with you, haven’t they? That’s how a Capricorn shows interest. But they’re not ready for love, they really need friendship right now. A safe haven where they can just relax, not feel pressured.

      Love happens naturally, and often grows out of a friendship… love is not something you can force to happen. And you certainly can’t force a Capricorn to love you if they’re not ready to love.

      What happens next is up to you – this is your decision.

      Best wishes!

      Like

      • Thank you for your time and I really appreciate your reply. I’m not really good at astrology, this Capricorn’s birthday falls on the 22nd dec. This cappy had been asking me to listen to Katy Perry’s song “thinking of you” which kind of confuses me. During our meet ups, cappy still mentioned about it’s ex date, saying that the cappy was quite surprised that it can move on already without thinking of it but when I asked if cappy has anymore feelings for it’s ex date, cappy mentioned that it has abit feelings for it’s ex date but will never go back to the date as the date now found a new relationship. The cappy mentioned that is was hurt before by it’s ex date and will never will go back. So I am confused with this cappy, is it trying to tell me that is it still thinking of the ex date during our meet ups hence the lyrics to this song? I still like this cappy and willing to wait but I’m insecure if I fall into it’s friendzone and the cappy would never go beyond that. I noticed that this cappy will sometimes tell white lies and not be direct to avoid hurting others. So how would I know if this cappy is interested in me? Will they treat their friends or potential date the same? For our meet ups, we had been going to retail therapy which make this cappy feel better. Cappy texted me saying that it appreciates my company and thankful for it. I wanted to text this cappy now and then but afraid to scare it away coz maybe it treats me only as a friend and not more than that. Cappy will only text me when it’s stress and when it wanted to meet me up for dinner and to tell someone about it’s frustration. But I had fun going out with this cappy as it likes to tell jokes and we laugh. Sometimes the jokes are quite lame and I had to force myself to laugh, haha..During cappy’s two moths of disappearance, cappy mentioned to me that it went on one date during it’s Australia trip, the person that the cappy met up was to it’s superficial taste but said that it could not connect with the date on an emotional level. So only added that date to it’s Facebook. So this makes me feel that cappy only treats me as a friend and not more than that? What should I do? 😦

        Thank you.

        Like

        • I really have no idea what you should do. My suggestion would be to simplify things as they seem rather complicated. Maybe think a little less about it and live it a little more spontaneously. I know that can be a challenge for Virgos as they’re very analytical and tend to like to overthink things before doing them.

          Let yourself just be yourself in this relationship, as in don’t laugh at jokes which you don’t find funny because then you’re misrepresenting yourself to the other person and they won’t be getting to know you they’ll be getting to know who you’re being for them which isn’t exactly who you are – that kind of thing can cause all sorts of problems later on in a relationship.

          If you want this person to love you, then let them get to know you as you are.

          Some of the best love relationships start off as friendships, and they usually last longer because when the relationship goes through a rocky phase the friendship keeps you together.

          Most people find it hard to tell when a Capricorn is interested in them. Sometimes Capricorns are slow to figure that out too. Usually if a Capricorn is making an effort to be in your company, then they’re interested in you. Many Capricorns prefer to start off as friends and then see where things go from there. Capricorns don’t think in terms of ‘only a friend’, if they see you as a friend it’s meaningful, however, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they will fall in love with you – Capricorns are slow to fall in love, and even slower to fall out of love. When the Saturn-ruled love, it runs far deeper than they will ever let on.

          This is an interesting article – http://sasstrology.com/2015/08/dealing-with-your-aloof-capricorn-partner.html

          Ultimately you know what you want to do, you just need to figure out what you’re willing to do. Relationships always involve an element of risk.

          Best wishes!

          Like

  41. Have a question, I have wrote about the Capricorn man that my heart still belongs to on this site 2-3 times. I have wrote that he told me that he would no longer contact me and he hasn’t .
    But last night my phone rings and I seen his picture and had to look twice because I couldn’t figure out why he was calling me. I was trying to decide whether to answer it or not so I did and said, I’m sorry but you dialed the wrong number. I could hear noise in the background because I knew he was at work but he never said any thing. So then I said hello twice and nothing. So I figured he butt called me. So I put my phone on mute and tried to listen to see if I could hear anything but couldn’t understand anything that was being said. But he must have noticed that he called me when his shift was over and hung it up. I was on there for 13 mins and didn’t get to hear anything. Lol. My question is, they say once a Capricorn says he’s done with someone he’s done. So why did he call me? I don’t believe he could have butt called me because he hasnt called or text me in 9 months. So my number wouldn’t have even been where his butt could accidentally even call me. And better yet, why would he keep my number in his phone when he is supposed to be back with his ex wife. I would think that would be the first thing he would take out of his phone is my number. The reason I haven’t took his number out of my phone is because I still do have feelings for him. So did he do thison purpose? And what would be the reasoning behind it? Was he trying to make a first step thinking that I would either call him back or even text him? Is that a sign that he wants to start to talk again? Or is he playing some kind or weird game? I did want to text him or even call him after he was off of work but my friends advised me not to. They said let him sit and wonder why I didn’t call or text him to find out why he called me. So I didn’t. I just hope that me not texting get or calling him ruined maybe the start of a friends ship again. What are your views on why he would call me when I know there is no way he could have butt dialed me? Especially after him saying he would never contact me again. Should have I called or texted him after he got off work? Or did I do right by not responding? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks

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    • You might find this post interesting – http://sasstrology.com/2015/08/dealing-with-your-aloof-capricorn-partner.html – it’s written by a good astrologer and it may answer some of your questions about your Capricorn.

      If he called you on purpose, maybe he was nervous about calling and the way you answered shocked him into silence. However the detail of the line being left open for such a long time is more a sign of a butt dial. If it wasn’t a butt dial leaving the line open yet remaining silent for such a long time is rather weird and creepy.

      If you want to know for certain whether he butt dialed you or called you on purpose then there is only one person who can answer that for you, and that is him. If you’re spending a lot of time wondering and worrying about the call, then maybe you should just call him, and simply tell him that you received a call from his phone, and you’re returning the call to find out what he wanted. Then he can either confirm he did call or inform you that it was indeed a butt dial. Keep it simple and casual. Cut to the chase and don’t add any extras.

      There may be a third option, and that is that he did not dial your number, someone else who had his phone did it. If someone else was messing with his phone, he might like to be informed about that.

      It’s usually best to be direct with Capricorns, and it is also a good idea to do that for yourself as you don’t want to be stuck in the limbo of wondering what the real story is and what is going on.

      Take good care of yourself πŸ™‚

      Like

      • Thank you for your quick response. I know it was him because I heard him talking but I also know he was at work at the time the call came in. But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a butt call because he hasn’t had my number in his recent calls in 9 months. I was going to call him when he got off work which would have been in like 10 mins. But a girlfriend of mine told me not to and wait and see if he calls again. So I listened to her instead of calling or texting him like I wanted to. I don’t like games and that is what it feels like I’m doing is playing a game. I don’t know how accurate tarot scopes are but with Venus in returgrade, it says an ex will come back, because when this person was in my life it wasn’t the right time so I guess the relationship had to end in order for it to come at the time it was supposed to. Well if that was true it can only be one of three. One is married and the other it took me 24 yrs to get away so there is no way that is going to happen. Lol. But were friends and share a daughter so it’s ok. But would never go back. So I will look at what you suggested and see if it can help me at all. But he is a true Capricorn to a tee. Yes he may have other signs that go along with his sun sign but from everything I read he is 100% Capricorn. Thank you for your help and a big part of me hopes it wasn’t just a mistake but I still see it hard to be a butt dial but I guess only time will tell. πŸ™‚
        But maybe your right when I answered the phone the way I did, made him not want to say anything. But I didn’t say it in a mean voice or anything like that, so I guess we will wait and see and if he does or doesn’t come back by Oct I will let you know. So again thank you for your help. πŸ™‚

        Like

        • Thank you πŸ™‚

          Overall I agree with your friend’s advice. Ignore him and the incident. Forget it happened. However only do that if that is what you really want to do and is the action which is true to yourself, is authentic for you, for who you are.

          If you’re driving yourself a bit nuts over this, thinking in circles, wondering endlessly what it was all about, and ignoring it and him just makes it all louder in your mind, then sometimes cutting to the chase can ease your mind and stop you from being the one who suffers from your tactic of ignoring him.

          If ignoring him is a ‘game’ you’re playing with him – don’t do it, it’ll backfire, especially with a ‘typical’ Capricorn.

          I’m a Capricorn. The rest of my natal chart is relevant to how I express my Capricorn Sun – so be careful about dismissing the rest of your Capricorn’s chart in favour of just dealing with him as a ‘typical’ Capricorn. If you’re using astrology to figure things out, use all of astrology not just the Sun Sign.

          That aside, as a Capricorn (with a lot of Virgo, another down to earth sign) I prefer it when people are direct with me. If I’d butt dialed you or called you then remained silent, I’d respect you for confronting me about it, more than if you played the ‘ignoring game’ with me.

          When people do something complicated, and only tell me later what they should have told me right away, and when they also reveal the complicated story they made out of a simple incident… I tend to just bang my head on a table, and make a note of staying away from people who are that complicated about simple things because they lead to me getting a headache.

          I had someone recently make such a confusing and complicated kerfuffle out of a practical matter that I ended up paying more for their mess, and the knock on effect of it, than I would have had they just told me straight up what they were thinking rather than built an empire of drama out of something simple. When they finally confronted me with the issue, it was cleared up in minutes, and they were rather embarrassed about the mess and drama they had made out of it.

          Capricorns are usually quite simple, other signs like to make us seem more complicated than we are more often than we actually are – I suppose other signs are hoping we’re less boring and more exciting than we are. πŸ˜‰

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          • You called me Friday night and was wondering what was up? I don’t think it was a butt dial unless you have a very talented butt. Lol But if you were truly want to talk I don’t bite, well maybe just a little but that was an accident. Lol πŸ™‚
            But for what it is worth I want to say I’m sorry. I have had a long time to think about things and know that I did wrong probably more wrong then I thought I did so I’m truly sorry and if you are able to except my apology then text me a smiley face like this one. πŸ™‚

            But that was Sat and I not have received anything from him. I know Capricorns can be slow and I will wait but that is all I can do. But I have waited on him for 9 months because that is how much I do truly love him. But I guess he wasn’t bright enough to see that. because he chose his ex wife over me. Yes he might of loved her but he was more in love with being able to buy what ever he wanted when ever he wanted. And it’s not like he doesn’t make good money because he does. But I guess more is better in his eyes. But deep in my heart I don’t believe she truly loves him, I just don’t think she liked seeing him be happy. But one day he will see this and it will be to late because I can’t wait around forever. But if my gut is right she is one devious Libra. But if my other part of my gut is right, then he is a very very bad person in many many ways. But I hope that part of my gut isn’t right because it would be a very scary thing.
            Even know I told him it was over because of what he said to me and trust me it was bad. We would still talk for the next few days but nothing like before. But then his ex wife did something stupid and she said she did it because of the pain he caused her because she thought that he still loved her. So that night after screaming at me and blaming me for what she did, he text me and said if I truly care about me I’m home. So I did. We talked for aprox 2 hours and he was being his regular nice self with me but because I started crying half way through the conversation he said, why are you crying so much? He couldn’t understand how bad he hurt me from the things he said earlier that day. And it was some very horrible things. And this was the early morning of thanksgiving. As I look back and think how he was acting as if nothing was wrong and nothing was said, I know he said he was sorry for blaming me for what she done and for everything he said to me. He said he don’t remember everything that he said to me because he saw red. But whether you see red or not I would think you would never say what he said. But maybe he don’t know, but I know I couldn’t say what he said to my worst enemy. Is that normal for a Capricorn or any man to say something so wrong, but actually I don’t even have a name for how low he went. But I will tell you what he said. ” I’m glad your mother is dead “. Is that normal? I my self could never say anything to someone mean or especially something like that, it wouldn’t matter how mad I was. I even texted him after he said that when I realized that is what he said. I told him I can forgive him for all of the other crude things that he said to me but it will take the help from god to help me forgive him for that. Yes I know when we Talked he said he was sorry for everything he said to me and took full responsibility for everything. But if he said he don’t remember everything he said because he saw red, does that truly mean he don’t remember? He said that he said things to hurt me on purpose. So would someone go to that extent to hurt someone? But anyhow when we talked the morning of thanksgiving he said we would meet that Sat to sit down and talk. But that never happened. All I received was a text message that they were still in love and was going to try to make it workman’s he would no longer contact me again and said good bye.
            Yes that is how he ended things. He told me we would always be friends and he would tell her that but after she did the stupid thing she did that if they were to get back together that he wouldn’t be able to because she probably take her self out if she knew that. And he didn’t know that she was still in love with that much still that it caused her so much pain that she did what she did. But to me that isn’t love, that is control…. And maybe he is finally seeing the light but who knows, maybe he’s not. But maybe he called me just to stir up my emotions to cause me more pain. I guess the only person that knows the answer to that question and a heck of a lot of other questions is him. But as for today I have no closure to anything. Don’t know if he ever truly loved me because when he saw red he said he hated me and used me. But when he had me text him if I truly care he said, you know I care about you. But what he don’t understand is that I don’t know and I told him that night that I didn’t. And I guess if he was a real man regardless of his sign, he would give a woman closure and not keep her mind wondering that every time we talked on the phone for hours, spent hours together and was together sexually to make me not have a clue if he was using me. Because I honestly don’t have a clue….. Sorry for this for being so long but any help would be appreciated. Whether from a Capricorns point of view or just as a person in general. Thank you…

            Like

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Being in love with a Capricorn can definitely be a bit perplexing, especially if you’re expecting your Capricorn lady to behave in a conventional manner with regards to love. It’s not a particularly romantic sign. I’m not sure what you mean by ‘rude’, what form her rudeness takes, but if she is a typical Capricorn you might find this post helpful – http://sasstrology.com/2015/08/dealing-with-your-aloof-capricorn-partner.html

      You might find it useful to look at your Capricorn lady’s Moon, Venus and Mars signs to understand more about her approach to love, emotion, affection, relationships, as the Sun sign is only a part of the whole astrological picture. And it also would be informative to compare her astrological chart and placements with yours.

      Best wishes!

      Like

    • For the most part people who hate Capricorns are just hating on one particular person (a Capricorn) who pissed them off, hurt them, broke their heart, and it’s their pain talking. They probably aren’t even interested in astrology, they just use it and the sign as a lightning rod for their anger and frustration. Maybe the Capricorn they hate liked astrology and so they’re pissing all over it. Using it against them.

      They may also think that if they can find a common denominator which helps them identify people who might hurt them, then they can keep themselves safe from ever being hurt again. If they didn’t hate Capricorns they’d have some other sign they hated or some other stereotype to hate.

      The hate which others have for Capricorns says more about them and their story than it does about our sign in general, as usually what they hate about our sign has very little to do with the sign itself and more to do with the shit which humans do to other humans.

      Funny thing is that when people hate a Capricorn, Capricorns don’t really find it all that interesting as it’s just the same old story and rather boring, but when someone likes our sign… now that is interesting! πŸ˜‰

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  42. Capricorns are boring. No matter how much money and power they get, they never get to the deeper issues of life, their existence is meaningless with the exception of those who have fire signs in their ascendants. They want to be smart and funny but they never acomplish it because they lack introspection and abstraction, they donΒ΄t listen and have egos bigger than their talents. When it comes to power and success, they want it all but rarely have what it takes to get it. No match for Leos or Scorpios when it comes to status or knowledge, in fact they envy those two more than anything, i know a couple who wish they could buy a little of that honesty and powerful mental insight. To say it in small words; they are pretentious, superficial, boring and narrow minded, always trying so hard to be real and cool, but never get it. Capricorn is egotistic and very dumb, no matter how much they want to be awesome, at best they are average and ordinary, square, hypocritical and judgmental.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      I guess Capricorn as a sign rubs you in all the wrong ways. Where is Capricorn in your natal chart – we all have all signs within us – keeping in mind that Pluto, the ruler of the underworld of life, is transiting the sign, messing with all of us through the sign’s symbolism, and what is your synastry with those of the sign who have annoyed you? Have you explored that side of things with the intention of delving deeper?

      You might find this post worth browsing – http://sasstrology.com/2015/06/i-hate-that-sign-why-some-signs-push-your-buttons.html

      What we see in others, can reveal ourselves to us… but it is up to us to choose our way of seeing.

      Best wishes!

      Like

  43. I am smitten by this capricorn I met online. for a month or so we have been so close and I did my best to share my life, who I am and in a way I was able to scratch some private info from him during our past talks, which I truly cherished since capricorns are very secretive. We talked a lot, even marriage.. having kids, etc. he was open to it. when another month passed and I just noticed he started to get a bit distant, so I just let him be. 2 or 3 days without contact just to give him his space since he works 15 hours a day in his business. then I just noticed his contacts grew from 31 to 60 and he deactivated his profile from the site I met him, and later on I discovered he has a new profile on another dating site. on that day, I told him about my feelings and he said he knows how I feel for him but he said, “DON’T GET TOO HEAVY ON LOVE”. I got hurt, it’s just painful that I did my best to be sincere and loyal . he placed no drama and no games on his new profile, but when he is shown love he pulls away? I am so baffled, sometimes I want to pull my hair out from all this mind games. help please.

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Online relationships are perhaps even more complicated than offline ones.

      Have you ever watched the film or TV series – Catfish (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catfish:_The_TV_Show) – it deals with the issues which connecting with people online, especially in a dating/romantic scenario, can cause.

      Online we can be our ideal self, anyone we want to be. We can create profiles (using our pictures or the pictures of someone else – someone we’d like to be and like for others to believe that we are), we can say anything we want, make connections, make stuff up, live our dreams, etc. But if someone gets too close it threatens our make believe with reality. And that’s when profiles get deleted and contacts are severed without explanation.

      This is not about him being a Capricorn – astrology, especially Sun sign astrology, isn’t going to solve this puzzle. This is a human puzzle. Any Sun sign can do what he has done, and behave the way that he has behaved.

      His kind of secrecy and stuff isn’t just him being a Capricorn – he could have lied about his birthday and may not even be a Capricorn Sun sign.

      All you know about him is what he has told you about himself, and what he has said to you online – all of that could be make believe, he may not even be a ‘he’.

      Maybe he is who he says he is, maybe he isn’t – please be very careful when meeting people online. I recommend watching Catfish (the film and the TV series).

      Perhaps you’re baffled because that’s exactly what you need to be feeling – that’s your instincts and intuition warning you that things are not adding up and aren’t what they seem.

      If someone is playing mind games – walk away! Especially if those games are played online – chances are these sort of games are going to keep being played and have been played for a long time.

      This is a cautionary tale worth reading – http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/the-mystery-of-leah-palmer

      If you’re looking for real love, find a real person, someone you can get to know in the flesh. The online world is full of real people, but it is also full of fake people pretending to be real.

      Take good care of yourself!

      Like

      • Hi,

        About the Catfish thing, I watched the series many times on Mtv. When we first chatted I demanded we talk on cam, because I don’t want to be duped by someone. anyway, no one demanded money or anything. it was a relationship online. purely that. I also did some online digging, I am quite paranoid and that’s why I saw his facebook, his ex’s facebook, his mom’s,cousin’s.. etc and even the business he has. we also did skyped as in video call while he was at work. So I really knew it was him, that he is real.

        we haven’t talked for days after he told me to not get to heavy about love. which is a bit weird since last month, we were saying I love you’s to each other on cam before he went to sleep, and we were talking about marriage, and a lot of other things about him. the hardest thing is me being serious about it and him being a complete asshole and now, talking to other girls. I really do think he is a capricorn. he is the most ambitious and hardworking guy, and all he thinks about is money and how to earn more and fears he will loose money. he is a january capricorn, he was born january 17.

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        • That’s great, glad to hear you’re careful and taking care of yourself πŸ™‚

          I can relate to the whole ‘don’t get heavy’ thing. It does seem to be a common problem for Capricorns and for those who have relationships with them. The best way I can explain it is – emotions/feelings/love are like a delicacy to Capricorns. Like having one piece of the best chocolate in the world. A little bit goes a long way and is very pleasurable. Too much of it and it’s a bit like eating too much chocolate, it’s too rich. But what is too much to a Capricorn tends to be not enough for other signs.

          When he discussed marriage with you… that might have been going too far too soon for him and it may have scared the crap out of him, so he decided to dial it way back. Play the field a bit. Because he’s just not ready for that kind of commitment, so he’s gone in the opposite direction to get away from something that perhaps he thought he wanted until it almost happened. It’s not about you, it’s about him. He’s not ready, so his running away and being an asshole, talking to other girls – that’s about him just not being in a place in his life where he feels able to commit to a relationship, no matter how much he loves you or thinks the world of you. He’s scared and dealing with it in a typically human way (which is not just a Capricorn thing).

          Trying to get a Capricorn to do what you want them to do once they’ve made some sort of decision about their lives, like he seems to have done, is like telling the Sun not to shine or the Earth to stop turning. He may come around again, but you might have to wait an age – Capricorns have a different sense of time than faster signs, we’re slow, really slow about time – If you’re a Sagittarius, waiting for a Capricorn to come around will probably drive you nuts. You want to live wild and free, in the moment, Carpe diem-ing it – Capricorns don’t do that in that way.

          It’s up to you.

          Like

          • Thanks a lot for the advice.Yeah we went too fast, I think this is a thing about Sagittarians. If we want something, and we want it now. he hasn’t replied to me since the last time we talked, and it’s fine with me. I am also playing the field like you said. in a way, it made me forget my frustration towards him. My father is a december cappy and he and my sagittarian mom got a long real well. and I admired their lovestory. dad pursued her for a long time. Maybe my dad is one of those rare cappies. thanks for the advice!

            Like

            • Thank you πŸ™‚

              Your dad sounds like one in a million. Let your parents’ love story inspire you to find your own, but don’t forget that your love story will be as unique as you are. You deserve what lights your fire, moves at your own pace and is designed for your individual spark.

              This guy is missing out, but maybe he knows he’s not worthy, and bowed out because of it. You never know. Some people do that. They realise that they’re out of your league before you do. They let you go so that you can find what’s right for you. Life and love is a weird adventure.

              Follow your bliss!

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        • The Capricorn man I was with for a year and a half was a Jan 16th Capricorn and he was basically the same way. He actually wanted me to be his mistress when he got back with his ex wife. I told him I don’t think so and he said it again in a demanding way that I would be his mistress and again I said no I won’t. He told me his ex was a 2 year plan. And when he talked about her it was always that he could buy anything he wanted no matter what it was. He himself makes very good money but I guess it’s not enough, I guess they to put money in front of love. But I made his 2year plan into a much shorter one. Lol. Yes I went and talked to his ex wife. What is funny is that he told me all kinds of things about them and there marriage and always talked about money. We were best friends for the first 6 months then turned into more. Do I still love him, yes I do. I know if I didn’t say something to his ex when I did it was just time before he tried to get her back because of his two year plan. That is the one thing I forgot to tell her when I did talk to her. But unfortunately with everything I did tell her that he has done and said she actually took him back. Sometimes I wonder if there not in this weird life together. That they both play games. When I did get into her car to talk to her face to face so she knew I wasn’t lying about anything I said to her, she looked at me and said, so you are the secret…. I can say he called me for hours everyday and no less then an hour a day. I was at his house every weekend for about 6 months. I went to his place because he didn’t get off work till midnight. It sad that I did what I had to do but I needed answers to some very important questions and only she wouldknow but didn’t really get a true answer out of her either. If people think it wrong of me to go to his ex, well they have no clue what I have been through. And I actually cared about her even know I didn’t truly know her but I didn’t want her to go back to a man that is basically using her for money. When she found out he was on an adult dating website when they were married for aprox 5 years it really hurt her. The bad thing is I just recently seen where he was on two more adult dating sites in 2010-2011 and they were still married then. So this shows what kind of a man he truly is unless like I said they are in it together because the site I just recently found said into swingers among a lot of other weird things. So when it comes to this Capricorn man that you talk about, I would run and run as fast as you can and don’t look back. But I know it’s easier said then done because you can’t help what the heart wants. But what you have said about how he acted and then was on another dating site, well he’s no good. Yes I still haven’t gotten my heart to catch up with what my gut and brain knew for a long time. Sad but true…. Stupid heart….. I wish you luck in which ever way you choose. Just be careful if you choose him.

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  44. Greetings to you. Lately I have been reading your writeouts about acap man and it urges me to write you about my problems. By the way, iam ataurus woman and have been in off-on contact with acap guy for almost 3years. He contact me once in a blue moon and said he’s missing me.. sometimes said hell marry me. Our latest continued contact was for about a week. he got flu and he contact me morning evening saying he’s missing me so much and said when people got sick they misses their closest one and said I’ll experience that once. he text me he don’t know why he always thinks of me. one night we chated by text and he ask me when I’ll come back to our hometown coz Im staying out of my hometown, I replied him planning to come next weekend. He’s asking me to visit him coz he want to see me very much and ask to make it sure..I said yes but I don’t wan to meetup in a crowded place,so he suggest a place to meetup and agreed to meet him there. He dont like chattin through text msg but i insist him to chatt by text coz I feel more free to express my feelings through text..we chatted for half and hour…
    so ask him if hes sleepy and he replies, he is not but not so smart in texting,so I continued text my feelings about him but he didn’t reply back and in the morning he text “sorry,i sleptoff unknowingly”.. so I call him and said its alright and then he ask me to transfer my talk time balance if I have enough to share so I transfer him my half balance and he text me thanks..I text him back its alright. and since then he didn’t text nor call me.. around evening I text him why he’s silent but got no reply..so I call him coz m worried if he gt serious with his illness and to my surprise he sounds quite fine and said he went to checkup and d doctor scold him why he didn’t visit him earlier..so I said didn’t u said two days back that u go for checkup and taking medicine on doctors prescription?..coz he told me so but he defend himself didn’t say that and said maybe I misheard him..so I said I don’t like liars. and he said he’ll call me later coz he’s at frens place but I feel bad and said dnt call, and he said again OK then will call u in d morning but I said no..but he still said he’ll call later and hangoff..but he didn’t call nor text even in the morning..so I too didn’t text nor call him. For some work I leave for my hometown in advance so I call him to say that but he seems hes busy then and said he’ll call later..he did call me but I missed his call so I text him I reached home,but he didn’t reply. We are suppose to meet on next Sunday but all of sudden he goes silent. so I am just wondering why he is suddenly behaving this way..doubting is he contacting me only when he is lonely or only becoz he s sick..coz after he sounds his health is getting better he goes silent. I doubt is he only playing with me or really meant his word or is this capricorn man nature. I’ll be ever grateful to you if u make time to reply this on-off contacts. (sorry for my poor sentence).
    Thanks & regards.

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      This doesn’t sound like an issue which Sun sign astrology can solve. This sounds like a human problem. Astrology can sometimes help with understanding human traits and behaviours which can cause problems, but it’s hit and miss.

      From the way you describe this person and your interactions with them… I’d be careful if I was you.

      From this Capricorn’s perspective (as in my point of view and opinion), he seems to only need you when he needs you, when he’s sick and feeling helpless, but when you need him… he’s not available. This is not a relationship of equals, and it has the hallmarks of being a rather ‘sick’ interaction. Basically when he’s sick, he loves you and contacts you, but when he’s feeling better, he doesn’t contact you. That’s not a good sign for a healthy relationship. How can you trust the love of someone who only knows they love you when they are ill (and think they may be dying or some other personal drama).

      If someone only knows they love you when they’re ill, frightened, unhappy, alone, etc, and they only share their pain with you, and they only contact you when they’re in pain… that’s not love.

      If someone loves you when they are happy, healthy, busy, and even though they’re very busy, all they can do is think about you and wanting you in their life to share their joy… that’s love!

      Of course I realise there must be more to this than what you have shared, and I don’t want to influence you either way. I don’t know you or him or what is really going on, I only know what you’ve told me and that sounds wrong (on his side of things). So my advice is for you to trust yourself about how you instinctively and intuitively feel about this relationship.

      Being a Taurus, your instincts and intuition are very good. Be totally honest with yourself, and trust that!

      Usually when a Capricorn loves someone, they don’t behave as this person is behaving. Frankly if you’d described this person and asked me to guess their Sun sign, I would not have guessed ‘Capricorn’.

      Please take good care of yourself, you deserve to be loved in a way which brings you joy, not confusion!

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  45. I meet a Capricorn man in February off this year our first date was on valentines night . I’m not a big believer I’m love at first sight but i was completely smitten with him after our first day ( I’m a cancer sign ) . We continued to date for a few months but he had trust issues with women because his ex was unfaithful to him many times . I was patient with him and gave no added pressure to him . He also had joined share I g off his kids . But as time went on I was seeing less and less off him . I decided to arrange to meet and chat to him . I just wanted to know where we were going and had we a future , he basically said his kids came first and didn’t listen to Azeris I said . I had no problem with his kids but I do feel like he was hiding his feelings . He also them told me that his friend asked him was he seeing anyone and he flat out denided he was seeing me .. I was annoyed about this . So I told him there’s no point in us been together us he doesn’t feel the same . Do I cut off contact with him he did text a few times but I didn’t answer because he still refused to be serious , this all happened 6 weeks ago . I recently heard that the guy he deinded me too was told by him he was seeing me …do I don’t understand why his telling him now about me when’s it’s over … Do I do anything or will I just keeping on going … Advice please x

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      The only advice I have is to trust yourself. Do what you instinctively and intuitively feel is right for you. What do you really want, what do you feel is the way forward?

      Since you’re a Cancer, a relationship with a Capricorn is always going to be a clash of opposites, as the two signs oppose each other on the Zodiac wheel. You will have much in common, yet your similarities may take different paths of expression. Both signs tend to go separate ways but occasionally meet along the way. Both signs take things slow in relationships, even if the relationship starts off with a bang.

      There is no right or wrong way, there’s just what is right or wrong for you, which may or may not be what is right or wrong for other people. It takes time to get to know others – Capricorns takes years to get to know other people and take even longer to be known by others.

      Trust yourself.

      Best wishes!

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      • thank you for your reply ….he has recently been back in contact with me . he has asked me to go away for aweekend with hiim that is the weekend off my birthday …his son is going to be playing soccor the same weekend so its near my home town ( its like his killing 2 birds with one stone )….i dont think ill get to meet his son he will be staying with the team in another hotel but i do think he is trying to male and effert ….i have never been so patient with a man in my whole life , i do hope its worth the wait ….fingers and toes crossed xx

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  46. I’m not exactly sure if I am replying to the whole thread or a specific comment… But anyhow..
    I am an Aries with my Venus in Pisces. I seem to be especially attracted to Capricorns. I have had significant romantic feelings for three men in total, all of them being Capricorns, one of which with who I am still engaged with and hope to start something serious with in the not too distant future.

    The most substantial of which took place over a couple years. It was ultimately ended by distance, but your perspectives helped me to better understand the exact dynamics of the relationship, particularly its end, in which I became increasingly frustrated with his need for space. As an Aries, I fall fast and hard, and am easily discouraged when relationships are not progressing as I want them to. I have come to realize that most of that lies in insecurity and persistent need for reassurance. Overtime as I have come to accept this truth, I have gained more confidence in relationships and I believe I am handling my current relationship with a Capricorn better than I did previously. By learning to rely less on my significant other, I have gained an ability to be more self-reliant.

    Your perspectives (especially your ideas on Capricorns appearing to be sociopaths, as I questioned whether the first Capricorn (Venus in Sagittarius) with who I engaged romantically was one himself) helped me to better understanding my own feelings and how I caused the reactions in him that I initially assumed were rooted in his own personality flaws. I now see that my incessant desire for assurance pushed him further away and ultimately led to his total separation from me and our relationship, to the point where he came off as extremely rude and cold in an effort to end what we had. As an Aries, I am extremely persistent and stubborn. I refused to let it go until he left me no choice. With that said, I am glad it did end, as it had too much of a history for the relationship to ever actualize the potential for romantic relationships between Aries and Capricorns.

    However, I am drawn many aspects of Capricorn personalities, and have continued to be attracted to Capricorns since that first relationship. The second was brief and largely sexual. At the start, before I had gotten to know him, I wasn’t attracted to him as he was me, so he pursued me consistently. Eventually as I came to know him better, I fell for him, and as I always do, I fell fast. I assume he sensed this, as he left abruptly, leaving me for someone else without a word. I simply stopped hearing from him, even though things had been perfect in my eyes. When we finally got a chance to talk about what happened he said that things had moved too fast and his feelings essentially evaporated, as he said they tend to do. He has a Venus in Scorpio.

    My most recent relationship has developed in the last couple months, and I would appreciate your interpretation about what he may be feeling that he has not yet revealed.

    We met at a party in March and clicked right away. He immediately began texting me everyday and asked me to see him several times, to all of which I agreed. He has been surprisingly open about his family and previous relationships for a Capricorn, and has directly expressed interest in me, but when it comes to the plans for the long term, he avoids discussion about it. Granted, we attend school together, but summer was approaching quickly and we both knew that within just a few weeks, a four month period where we would be unable to see each other would begin. I told him I wanted to see him more frequently, to which he responded we only had a couple weeks left. In those last few weeks we were both busy, but I still saw him weekly and he texted me all the time, although I was the one who consistently made the plans.

    Before leaving for summer, I asked him about what he thought about “us.” He told me that he enjoyed my company, but moves slow in relationships and was not ready to make a decision about the future quite yet. I also asked whether or not he thought the summer away from each other would have any affect on our relationship come September when we are back in school, to which he replied firmly, no. I was reassured by that.

    Now it is three weeks into summer. We really do not talk. I was the last one to text and he never responded. I would normally find this concerning, but because of the Capricorn nature, I am not sure whether it is something I should actually be worried about. I am glad we are not texting constantly, as it would be a constant remind about how much I miss him, but since I am an Aries it is natural for me to question what we have without necessary reassurances. I recognize that Capricorns need space and want to avoid smothering him, but I wonder if the space he needs is because of his nature as a Capricorn or if it is signifying that he is losing interest. I would appreciate your interpretation. (He has a Venus in Scorpio as well)

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    • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Since you’re an Aries who seems to like Capricorns, you might find this interesting – http://www.llewellyn.com/journal/article/2032

      For more about Capricorns as a sign, male, female, and both (written by an Aries astrologer) – http://sunsignsbylindagoodman.blogspot.co.uk/2009/09/capricorn-goat-december-22nd-through.html

      There’s also a page on Aries – http://sunsignsbylindagoodman.blogspot.co.uk/2009/09/aries-ram-march-21st-through-april-20th.html

      With regards to your question about your particular Capricorn – remember that a Sun sign is only a part of a whole chart, and is expressed differently by each different individual. There are certain things which seem to be a ‘Capricorn’ thing, but they’re just similarities between people which may or may not be expressed the same way or mean the same things.

      He sounds as though he’s compartmentalising his life into separate segments. There’s his life at school, during the school year, which includes his relationship with you. Then there seems to be his life outside of the school year – The Summer holiday – which doesn’t seem to include you. There may be a logical reason for this, depends very much on what plans he has or which his family has for him for the Summer.

      It’s hard to tell whether this means he’s interested in you romantically or no longer feels that way, if you’ve been friendzoned or not. He may well intend to pick up your relationship where you left off once the Summer is over. It’s odd to do that, but he may have his reasons, and it may make sense to him to do things this way.

      You could wait and see. Just go with the situation and see what happens. It’s a long time to put a hold on a relationship, and a lot can happen in the interim. Maybe you’ll meet someone else, or maybe the time will give you a new take on your relationship with him. Absence can make the heart grow fonder, especially as the void gets filled with fantasy, but it can also give the heart an opportunity to reassess.

      Ultimately you have to go with what you want to go with. You’re an Aries, life moves at a quicker pace for your Sun sign. For Capricorns life moves very painfully slowly.

      Take care of your heart!

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      • Hey, I have read this blog and find it very intriguing. I am a Scorpio gal and always seem to be attracted to Capricorn men. Out of all the signs of the zodiac, the Capricorn is definitely the one I have ever felt connected too. Like you stated in one of your past comments, Scorpio and Capricorn are very alike and this can be a blessing or a curse…

        I’m so confused ATM… I have this friend who is a Capricorn man and tbh, we can get on really well – when we first met, there was a connection straight away, we had banter and also had that emotional connection.. He was with a cancer of 3 years but ended it after me and him kissed a few times.. Since then it’s been a whirlwind, he said he doesn’t even want to be with me – but then his actions say different. One minute, he says he hates how he was with his cancer, always doing what she wants etc. But then next he says he misses her and loves her…

        I work with this Capricorn as well and I have to admit, recently we been arguing a lot. It’s always about the same thing. He seems to feel awkward around me and I get the impression he cares what everyone else thinks (like work think we are too close). He is being distant with me and pushing me away, which as a Scorpio – I have done to him, but I have learned from my mistakes and even though it was hard and I was scared, I did open up to him. I argue with him because I care and his actions hurt me but he seems to just think it’s all my fault and doesn’t even conclude about his own actions…

        He is going through some stuff, like he might have thyroid cancer but I said I will always be there for him and I try and offer him support but he pushes me away… At work, he seems to be talkative, have a laugh with everyone else but is very quiet around me and awkward..

        As a Scorpio, I don’t take this bull crap and I am very honest so I called him out on it. He said he is just “tired” from working too much recently and I haven’t done anything wrong. I said I’m fed up of it, I have had enough and that’s it’s the same thing over and over.. – which tbh, I have had enough..

        In other arguments before, I have said to him I don’t even know if we should be friends anymore because him pushing me away, or needing so much space just makes me think he doesn’t care and I feel like I should just stop emotionally investing into someone who doesn’t want to know but each time, I can tell he doesn’t want to loose me as a friend but he doesn’t understand — keep treating me this way, and I will give you the silent treatment back and I will pretend like you never existed.

        This happened again today, him being fine with everyone else but me… I’m at my wits end. I want to walk away, I am angry and right now I have had enough. I would delete him from all social media but I have to work with this guy. I am tempted to request a transfer anyway so I might do that then block him out my life.. It upsets me when he’s being like that. If I done something wrong, tell me so I can sort it or we can discuss it.

        I know capricorns seem to have this thing where they don’t realise what they have until it’s gone “/ I kind of want to make sure he feels that. I want to be able to ignore him at work but it does hurt seeing him everyday :/… It upsets me but I am fed up of having the same conversation over and over…any advice would be appreciated. His birthday is 5/01/1991 and mine is 28/10/1993.

        I know for definite my sun is scorpio, my rising is Virgo and my moon is in Aries. I think his is Capricorn sun, Virgo rising and Sagittarius moon.

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        • I should add he has been less active on social media in general, doesn’t have a phone anymore, and I have to admit – does seem a bit quiet at work but then it hurts me when he seems fine with everyone else but not me when he is talking… Maybe he does want to be on his own and I am trying to give him that space but I think the Aries in my moon just makes me very impatient

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          • Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

            There’s an article which you might find helpful – http://sasstrology.com/2016/04/how-to-know-if-youre-a-pluto-person.html – for figuring out how your Capricorn may be experiencing you.

            When we have relationship problems we sometimes focus too much on the issues which we’re having with the other person in the relationship, what we think they’re doing wrong or at least what annoys us about them and how they’re behaving towards us. Sometimes the way they’re behaving towards us is about how they are experiencing us, and what annoys them about us (which may not be what is wrong with us so much as what they can’t handle about us because it rubs them the wrong way).

            I have quite a bit of Scorpio going on in my chart and people who don’t have a lot of Scorpio may find my style a bit too intense. They may like it at first because it comes across as deep and they’re longing for a deeper experience in relationships, but that kind of deep can be too much in the long term, and what they liked about me may later become what they want to avoid, so they avoid me.

            It sounds like this may be what is going on between you and him. He loved your intensity, your Scorpio style. The connection between you was deep and meaningful. You took him places within himself where he’d never been. You showed him how to deep sea dive in a relationship. But at some point it became too much for him, he began to feel like he was drowning and couldn’t breathe, because your deep became too deep for him, and he’s decided to distance himself from you. It’s not about you, it’s about how you affect him when he’s with you. He’s not comfortable with that depth and intensity on a daily basis.

            So what you’re seeing when he interacts with others is him staying in his comfort zone. He’s seeking the comfort of the superficial. The moment you enter his radius, he feels pressured to go deeper, be less superficial, and I reckon he liked it at first but then he must have hit something which scared him so he swam back up to the surface and he’s clinging to it. He now sees you like a shark circling his surfboard.

            That’s just my take on it and it could be completely wrong.

            With both of you having Virgo rising, the connection would have been instant and comfortable – you both like order and logical analysis, are both considerate of others, shy on the surface, slow to warm to others.

            Your respective fire Moons would have synchronised well, with him loving your boldness – one thing to consider if you’re using astrology is that transiting Saturn has recently moved in Sagittarius, which means his Moon will get conjuncted at some point, and a Saturn transit to Moon is a bit of an emotional wasteland experience, and a Saturn conjunct Moon transit can be horrible. It can make a person feel totally disconnected from their emotions and from the emotions of others. They feel alone and misunderstood. No one can get through to them during this time as this time is about them sorting out their emotional needs and nature.

            Your Scorpio would have felt that you’d met an equal to match your strength of character in his Capricorn – but Capricorn tends to have boundaries which are much narrower than Scorpio. I reckon you crossed a boundary with him which he wasn’t ready to have crossed and so he’s done what Capricorns always do when that happens – walls are being rebuilt and reinforced.

            The more you try to get through to him at this point, the less receptive he will become. Pushing a Capricorn when they’ve gone cold on you will only make them go even colder. The sign is ruled by Saturn, they can out-wait anyone no matter how determined the other person is, and they can be stubborn to the point of alienating everyone.

            If I was you I’d back off and simply give him a wide berth. I wouldn’t go as far as transferring. If you like this workplace and your other colleagues then I’d consider all that you might lose just for the sake of getting away from him and what he represents for you. Use this experience of all that his presence stirs up for you to dig deep into yourself and investigate what’s going on with you. A relationship works both ways – you have stirred up issues for him and he’s stirred up issues for you.

            He may choose to ignore his issues, or he may be dealing with them in his own way which may not be the way you think he should be dealing with them – perhaps the relationship with you made him review his previous relationship with his Cancer lady. Maybe he’s taking a time out from all intimate relationships to sort his psyche out.

            What about you? He’s not your issues, but what you’re encountering in your relationship with him does show you your issues. They won’t be figured out by making him be who you want him to be and do what you want him to do or getting as far away from him as possible. Scorpio digs and dives deep not just into others but the self too.

            It might be an idea to get your chart read with the present transits and how they’re affecting your natal chart by a good astrologer.

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