Songs about Narcissism

I wasn’t going to do another post about narcissists so soon… however I woke up with a song, not playing on the radio alarm clock but playing in my mind, which I had been listening to the other day.

While listening to it, to the mesmerising rhythm, I happened to pay attention to the lyrics… and what I heard made me think – this is what drives a narcissist.

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Vikings Theme – If I had a Heart by Fever Ray

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This will never end
‘Cause I want more
More, give me more
Give me more

This will never end
‘Cause I want more
More, give me more
Give me more

If I had a heart I could love you
If I had a voice I would sing
After the night when I wake up
I’ll see what tomorrow brings

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What drives a narcissist is the need for more… and more… and more… and it will never end.

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I’ve come across other people’s soundtracks about narcissists (there are many of these on the internet) compiled by those who’ve been there, done that, bought the t-shirt… where having a relationship with a narcissist is concerned.

Sometimes I agree with the songs they’ve picked and sometimes I don’t.

Because we each have a different experience of narcissists, even if our experiences often overlap and seem similar to those of others.

Because each narcissist is different even though they often all seem the same when we compare notes.

Because we are all different even if sometimes we are similar.

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So…

Here are a few songs which for me, in my mind/ears, explain some things about narcissists… sometimes our minds can’t figure things out, can’t figure narcissists out, can’t figure our story with our narcissist out, but our other senses can, and are ears are particularly good at this.

My experience of narcissists has made my ears particularly sensitive to their way of expressing themselves. They do love to talk, and talk, and talk… for them talking is both saying and doing. Why do something when you can just talk about it ad infinitum ad nauseum and make others believe that you do it and did it too. Frankly we’ll believe anything… just to get them to shut up. But they never do… they’re not silent during the silent treatment, someone somewhere is having to hear all about it… it’s just that when they’re giving you the silent treatment that someone is not you.

Talking is the same as breathing to them… sometimes it seems more important than breathing to them.

I always feel that I can’t breathe when they are talking at me (it’s ‘at’ and not ‘to’ or ‘with’).

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Here we go…

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I Want It All – Queen

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Adventure seeker on an empty street,
Just an alley creeper, light on his feet
A young fighter screaming, with no time for doubt
With the pain and anger can’t see a way out,
It ain’t much I’m asking, I heard him say,
Gotta find me a future move out of my way,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,

Listen all you people, come gather round
I gotta get me a game plan, gotta shake you to the ground
Just give me what I know is mine,
People do you hear me, just give me the sign,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth
Here’s to the future for the dreams of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,

I’m a man with a one track mind,
So much to do in one life time (people do you hear me)
Not a man for compromise and where’s and why’s and living lies
So I’m living it all, yes I’m living it all,
And I’m giving it all, and I’m giving it all,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth,
Here’s to the future, hear the cry of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now…

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Because they want it all and want it now… immediately!

Why should they take the same steps from A to Z that we take when they can shortcut their way through life.

If they actually do something, rather than just talk about doing it, they want immediate results for their actions, success from the get go, or they lose interest. They can’t risk failure, when they trip, they don’t brush themselves off, they have a tantrum and expect us to pick them up and carry them the rest of the way until the finish line where they suddenly jump out of our arms, cross the line and claim the prize (only first prize will do!)

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Madonna – More (from Dick Tracy Soundtrack)

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Never say when, never stop at plenty,
If it’s gonna rain, let it pour.
Happy with ten, happier with twenty
If you like a penny, wouldn’t you like many much more?

Or does that sound too greedy?
That’s not greed, no, indeedy
That’s just stocking the store
Gotta fill your cupboard, remember Mother Hubbard.
(More! More!)

Each possession you possess
Helps your spirits to soar.
That’s what’s soothing about excess
Never settle for something less.
Something’s better than nothing, yes!
But nothing’s better than more, more more
(Except all, all, all)
Except all, all, all
Except once you have it all (have it all)
You may find all else above (find all else above)
That though things are bliss,
There’s one thing you miss, and that’s
More! More!
More! More! More! More!
More! More! More!

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Even when they get more, all that they want, and want now, it is never enough, they are haunted by the idea that they are missing out, that there is something better, something more which they haven’t got and need, want, have to have… everything is never good enough.

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The Vampire Club – Voltaire

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Fangs were flying, capes were torn
Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned
The number one rule in this game:
Never call one by his real name
Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed
By pointy boots in a rush
And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,
“It’s just another night at the Vampire Club.”

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What happens when narcissists get together…

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A concept I sometimes come across is that narcissists don’t have relationships with each other. They do, very much so…  birds of a feather flock very much together in the case of narcissists. And they’re great supporters of each other, and of their version of reality and all the other people in it… until they’re not, then – “Fangs were flying, capes were torn, Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned…” – they sometimes seem to enjoy that part of the relationship more than the honeymoon phase.

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We can all be narcissistic, narcissism is natural, a part of being human. All humans want more, that is spur for progress and evolution, and sometimes we’d like to have more, want it all and we want it now, because we feel the tick tock of the inner clock. And sometimes we bare our fangs to get what we want or because we didn’t get what we wanted.

What separates our narcissistic tendencies from being a narcissistic personality disorder is how we react to our natural narcissism. Reasoning, logic, empathy, the ability to be understanding of ourselves and others… to know that sometimes things don’t and won’t work out the way we want them to because… that’s life and being human, and we share this space and place with others.

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The Zombie Song – Stephanie Mabey

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If I were a zombie,

I’d never eat your brain.

I’d just want your heart.

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Your turn… please share your narcissist related songs, and why you chose that song, what it means to you and your experience of a narcissist.