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“I have a tendency to want to understand everything people say and everything I hear, both at work and outside, even at a distance, even if it’s one of the innumerable languages I don’t know, even if it’s in an indistinguishable murmur or imperceptible whisper, even if it would be better that I didn’t understand and what’s said is not intended for my ears or is said precisely so I won’t understand it.” ― Javier Marías
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First they want me to inject someone with a truth serum and give them the third degree… of course they added a disclaimer to that request, stating that the subject must be willing to be subjected to such an experience, to buffer their asses against the kick of consequences of giving orders and what happens when they are followed.
Now they want me to interview someone…
That seems a bit backwards. Surely the interview should have come first, then when the interviewee did not tell me what I wanted to hear, that’s when the truth serum gets shot into their veins (remembering to ask them if they are willing to have the procedure, preferably after I’ve already stabbed them and released the potion of truth into them, otherwise they might be uncooperative – something I already know that they are because I wouldn’t need to inject them if they were being cooperative) and the interview turns into an interrogation.
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I’ve watched 24, I know how these things work, especially when the interviewee is your only lead… because your previous only leads have all escaped by dying under mysterious circumstances (see point #8 in image below).
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What they haven’t truly (or truthfully) explained is why they want me to do these things. Yes, they’ve said it’s for my own benefit… but that’s what people always say when they’re hustling you.
If you ask someone to do something for your benefit, that someone may do it or they may not, it depends on how they’re feeling, how they feel about you, the something you’re asking them to do, themselves, their energy levels, their health, their time (of the month), their schedule, their work, social and family life… your request will be placed at the back of a very long queue as they’re really not motivated to do it because they get nothing out of it for themselves. It’s just not a priority.
However if you ask them to do something from which they benefit (even if it actually only benefits you), then it becomes a priority. The more they think they’ll get out of doing it, the more likely they are to do it and do it now, place it at the head of the queue. If you can make them think they’re going to get a whopping something for an almost nothing, maximum benefit for minimum effort, then they’ll do it and have it done before you even finish asking. They may even think it was their idea to do it all along (but that won’t stop them from blaming you if things go wrong).
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Lotto ad campaign via Trendhunter
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This is why many writers of books and posts tend to choose a title which gives the reader the impression that they are going to benefit from reading the book or post.
Perhaps I should have titled this post – How to be a Nosy Cow in 3 Quick and Easy Steps.
But… no one wants to be a nosy cow, do they?
What if I said – How to Maximise the Potential of your Natural Curiosity in 3 Quick and Easy Steps – instead.
Sounds much better doesn’t it? I probably should add the word ‘power’ in there somewhere. The power of attraction is sometimes all about the attraction of power, or of the word ‘power’. We all like power, except when someone else has power over us… then again we tend to be even hungrier for power and having more of it for ourselves when someone else seems to be in a position of power over us.
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How is any of this relevant to an interview?
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Curiosity is what tends to motivate us to ask questions. It makes us nosy about other people. We want to know more about them, so we interview them, about themselves, their lives, their passions, etc.
We interview them with more than just our mouths asking questions which our mind is prompting us to ask. Our other senses ask questions of them too.
But why?
Why are we curious about other people?
How do we benefit from knowing more about them?
How do they benefit from our curiosity?
Is it mutually beneficial or is one person getting more out of it than the other?
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The questions which someone asks you may appear to be directed at you about you, wanting to know more about you, all about you… sometimes they are exactly how they appear, and sometimes they are not.
In a situation such as an interview, the interviewer is being interviewed as much as the interviewee… the questions asked reveal a lot about the person asking them, as does the way they respond to the answers they receive to their questions.
Do they pause to reflect on the answer, then share they reflections?
Are they listening to the answer or are they simply listening to their own voice (inside and outside of their head) asking questions?
Is it an interactive interview or a static one.
Are both the interviewer and the interviewee benefiting from one person’s curiosity?
Are neither benefiting from it? – this is occasionally the impression which comes across from celebrity interviews in magazines, both sides of the interview equation seem to be going through the motions for the benefit of ‘the general public’ or ‘the fans’… but does anyone befit from such a seeming lack of curiosity and interest?
If the curiosity flows both ways and the person being interviewed is as interested in the interviewer as the interviewer is with them (and as they are with themselves), then the potential of the power of curiosity is maximised.
When we are interested in others, others become more interesting, and the more interesting that they become, the more interested we are.
The return on our investment is increased interest.
For the more that we explore others, the more we discover about ourselves.
The more we discover about ourselves, the more we realise how much more there is to discover about others.
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“What intrigued me more than anything else was finding out the way in which everything, all of creation – all of it! – was held together by invisible chemical bonds, and I found a strange, inexplicable comfort in knowing that somewhere, even though we couldn’t see it in our own world, there was a real stability.” ― Alan Bradley
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What do you think?
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An Upturned Soul 