Love Without Restriction

I’m recycling love again… or at least some thoughts inspired by and about a popular quote on love floating around on the internet.
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“Love me without restriction,
Trust me without fear,
Want me without demand and accept me for who I am.”
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When I first read this quote I loved its message, then I thought better (or less) of it as I thought more about all the other possible messages being delivered by the quote.
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This is one of my favourite posts, because it makes me chuckle… mostly at myself… and I can still remember writing it and enjoying writing it.

An Upturned Soul

love-me-without-restrictions-1

The other day I came across this quote:

“Love me without restriction,
Trust me without fear,
Want me without demand and accept me for who I am.”

My initial reaction to it was – Wow! Excellent!. Then I read it again, something about it made me uneasy. My mind began to whirr. I was compelled to delve deeper to find that which was hiding behind the attractive facade.

Once the seemingly open words had their free-spirited veneer chipped away, I began to feel restricted by them. When I first read them, it was as though I was the person saying those words, so they seemed right. But then I read them as though they were being said to me, and I felt that I was being given a set of rules of interaction. As long as I followed this person’s rules, they would allow me to love them, but if…

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4 thoughts on “Love Without Restriction

  1. “My initial reaction to it was – Wow! Excellent!. Then I read it again, something about it made me uneasy. My mind began to whirr. I was compelled to delve deeper to find that which was hiding behind the attractive facade.”

    Me too! See how how you had an initial reaction that all was good but then you decided to reread it & had a completely different interpretation? That is exactly what I do – All the time.

    “I flip things around a lot in my mind. Whenever someone says anything to me, especially when it is directed at me, such as a question, a criticism, or a compliment, after hearing it, rather than absorb it into myself, I tend to mirror it back at them. People, including me, talk about themselves all the time, sometimes they do it in a straightforward manner, and sometimes they do it in an indirect manner. They project themselves onto others, using others as their mirror image, detached from them, yet still a part of them.

    I do this in my mind too, especially with compliments, I get crazed…..trying to figure out what they mean….wondering if there is an alternative meaning or even the opposite meaning . You have seen me do this!

    “First I needed to understand myself. This was a shock. There I was demanding that others understand me, and I didn’t understand myself. Then I saw that that was partly why I wanted others to understand me, I hoped they would share their insights about me with me because I didn’t have any.”

    I have always needed to get lots of feedback from people , I always feel insecure about something or another and I also need to check their perceptions against my own , sometimes before coming to a decision or conclusion and then processing it all and accepting it as my reality.

    “That’s the paradox. What we want from others, we only get from them when we give it freely to them without asking for anything in return. So this person who wrote this quote, who wants love without restriction, trust without fear, to be wanted without demand, and be accepted for who they are… if they gave all of these things freely to others, they would not need to say these words at all.

    So, What do you think?”

    I don’t really care for this quote. I personally wouldn’t hang it on my wall or anything…
    I agree with your final interpretation of it and also with Army of Angels- Never trust a person who tells you to “trust them”. You’ll always see in time that is a big red flag.You should consider yourself warned if anyone tells you this directly or indirectly in some fashion, especially at the beginning of a relationship . IMO, I think this poem does have that convoluted BS tone to it.

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    1. I love this quote, and all quotes like it and what they evoke. They stimulate perspective, the grey cells, and so much more. This quote highlights the paradox which exists in all relationships, and in the concept (the multiple versions) of love.

      What makes us think, think twice, and twice again, think for ourselves… is always of value. Insecurity and doubt is of value because it pushes us to explore, and when we do that we discover more than just our world, our reality, our needs and wants, our demands… we meet up with those of others and how ours intertwine with others.

      A quote like this… what we see in it… is a mirror into which we look and it reflects ourselves back to us.

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  2. Never trust a person who tells me to trust them….yes, a lesson I learned long ago. The person I learned it from was my stepfather…he molested one of my siblings and was made to leave the home. I was an adult-married-pregnant-in my own home…my stepfather asked if he could live with me. When I asked him about the accusations, he replied,”it is all a bunch of crap. Have I ever lied to you?”. Well, it wasn’t crap-it was true. He never really talked to me, so of course, if he had ever lied to me, I wouldn’t have realized it, thereby, making my answer,”no”. You are so right-if a person wants to receive these things, they need to be giving them! Question everything💜

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    1. Thank you 🙂

      Trust is very intriguing. When you think about it, we do it all the time 24/7 in a myriad ways, often so subtly we don’t notice we’re doing it. So when someone tells us to trust them, especially if the statement seems out of place and context, it draws our attention to something which we were doing unconsciously, naturally, makes us aware of it and makes us question whether in this particular instance being trusting is perhaps the last thing we should be. When we’re doing something with conscious awareness we tend to review what we know and look more closely at the details and information. As you did with your stepfather.

      A statement such as ‘Have I ever lied to you?’ works in a similar way to someone saying ‘Trust me’. It kicks our conscious mind into gear, reviewing what we know, making us more aware of the very thing they are trying to get us to be less aware of.

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