I make people uncomfortable.
Well… that’s debatable.
People do seem to experience discomfort around me but… am I making them that way or…?
In theory… or is it in practice…?… I can’t make them anything, however we all influence each other to a certain degree and simplify the complicated by saying things such as – You make me blah blah blah – and I make you blah blah blah.
Perhaps if you held a gun or some other coercive mechanism to someone’s head you might be able to literally claim that you made them do something (such as feel uncomfortable), however it is still debatable. Not that such a scenario would be one open to debating such debatable issues.
If you were to do that to the head of someone with Uranus in the 1st house… you might end up wishing you were pointing that coercive mechanism at your own head and that you could pull the trigger… but your survival instinct, that self-preserving impulse, would stay your finger on the trigger and make you put up with an uncomfortable interaction.
I sometimes wonder what I would do if someone held a gun to my head… that’s the sort of thing those with Uranus in the 1st sometimes wonder. Why we wonder it depends on many things, we’re very individual individuals, arrogantly so at times, but not in a conventional interpretation of the word arrogance, so don’t compare us to each other, we’ll break out in a nervous rash if you do and that will make us react irrationally in a way which is perfectly rational to us.
The most common thing which our wondering depends upon is our quest for freedom. Get between us and that… and the word uncomfortable will just be the tip of the iceberg of how we make you feel and how you make us feel.
I’m practical enough to know that I’m lucky to have never been in a position where someone held a gun to my head. I’ve had metaphorical guns held to my head, and if I use those instances as a guideline… I’m lucky no one has bothered to hold a real gun to my head or maybe they’re lucky, or both (my Uranus is in Libra, so I am compelled to swing both ways like a pendulum which may be irregular in its swing).
I perhaps should mention that I also have Pluto (retrograde – ergo such a thing is directed inwards rather than outwards) in the 1st house, therefore being self-destructive is constructive to me, even if to everyone else it may be viewed as being otherwise. So, hold a gun to my head and I may decide that the quickest way to resolve such a scenario (and thus be free of and from it) is to experience what it feels like to have a bullet in the brain. I do realise that I may not live long enough to have that curiosity satisfied… oh, well, at least I’ll be free from someone else’s need to make me do whatever it was they thought that they could enforce upon me.
My arrogance sometimes knows (nothing) no bounds. And can be shocking in its (stupidity) quest to maintain its independence of others.
I don’t know about other Uranus in the 1st souls but for me being free does come at all cost. Sometimes I wish it didn’t and that I could compromise… but compromising makes me uncomfortable. Mind you, I’m always uncomfortable and I find a certain comfort in being that way to the point where being comfortable makes me nervous.
That’s probably why I make people uncomfortable.
It’s the natural nervous energy which goes with the placement of Uranus in the 1st. It’s like permanently receiving electric shocks. Is it pleasurable or painful, or both or neither. Either way I can’t sit still, and even when I’m sitting still (or think that’s what I’m doing) I’m fidgeting.
Which reminds me of a man who got so annoyed with me for fidgeting with the ring on my finger that he scolded me. I’d only just met him… but somehow this was a socially acceptable behaviour on his part in pointing out something which to him was socially unacceptable behaviour on my part. I wanted to laugh, at him but mostly at myself, however he was very serious and took himself so seriously that I thought the frown lines if challenged might cause a seismic rift which might set a whole continent adrift.
I wanted to laugh because (that’s what I do when I’m nervous or someone is getting on my nerves or variations of that theme) on that occasion I was making a concerted effort not to fidget. I was in polite society and physical movement which did not fall into that which was sanctioned by such a society would be considered a high treason of impoliteness. I can be considerate of others sometimes, but it requires a large amount of effort which can be exhausting to the nervous system. Every muscle in my body was being deliberately still, reined in, and the only muscles which gave me away… were the ones which annoyed him.
The only reason, according to him, that he felt obliged to point my annoying fidgeting out was because… some blah blah to do with him being a psycho… something or other… who felt the need to psyche people out even at light-hearted social gatherings. He hadn’t been introduced as a psycho-babbler, he’d been labeled a ghost-writer who was helping the hostess’ partner to write his biography (a biography about being a secret service agent during the cold war in Rome… ?).
But this man kept rewriting his resume until it was no longer a resume but a long-winded and winding road to nowhere.
Let me tell you some other details about Mr. Don’tfidget. His career also involved appearing on talk shows as a guest. A guest who morphed into whatever the talk show needed him to be for that particular show, and he was paid for this – although he was supposed to be an unpaid guest. That’s something he didn’t tell me about himself, which the hostess did not know (or maybe she did but kept it to herself because it made her nervous to know it), but which I found that out later when I recognised him as a ‘witness’ in a case brought against one of the talks shows on which he appeared. I enjoyed recognising him.
He was a Pisces, or so he said but maybe he was just saying that… not that I needed him to be that, or say that, it was voluntary on his part, I didn’t even ask him what his Sun sign was and can’t recall why he offered this info, probably just more resummation of his resume. I rarely discuss astrology in social environments because it makes so many people uncomfortable. And since I make people uncomfortable before I even open my mouth…
I suppose I could have decorated this semi-astrological post with tidbits of different astrologers’ takes on what it is to have Uranus in the 1st. Some of them are quite accurate… but those with this placement could be considered arrogant asses who do not like to be told who they are or what they do (even when it is accurate)… or what to do and what not to do. Don’t tell me not to fidget and psycho-analyse me, don’t hold that kind of a gun to my head if you are not willing to have your own head explode from a ricochet off my own hard head… or bouncy rubber-like brain.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. That’s debatable too. Uranus is reputedly an influence in both states of… perception of such things. Which is which, don’t ask me, my Uranus is in Libra and I like to sit on fences even if it’s uncomfortable.
Which reminds me of that sheep I was observing earlier, which repeatedly bumped heads with a tree. I got bored of watching so I have no idea who won. Which kind of sums up… things which really can’t be summed up. Like me. Like you. Like…
Nirvana – Smells Like Tenn Spirit
*Kurt Cobain – Uranus in the 1st