Many Miles to go before I get… wherever there is

MilesToGo

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This is going to be one of those posts where I write whatever is on my mind and don’t save any of this elsewhere, so if my blog goes poof! so does this.

Which may be for the best…

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The image above is of a milestone close to where I live. As I was processing the image in Photoshop, messing around with filters, I hit upon a filter called – Vintage Grunge (in Topaz Labs) and frankly I don’t care how it comes out the name of the filter summed up how I felt about the what prompted my messing with this photo in the first place.

I checked out the Daily Post’s daily prompt: In Due Time which asked – What’s your next, most pressing deadline? Are you excited, stressed, or ambivalent about it? What’s the first thing you’d like to do once you’re done with it? – and into my mind popped the inevitable popper and I felt very Vintage Grunge about it all.

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Don’t ask me what that symbol on the milestone means, but do please share with me what it means if you know.

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I’ve been dealing with something for about the last two years whose deadline began with a death and has yet to end. Who knew death could hang on for so long to life to the point where life begins to question if it is life at all. Death isn’t an ending, unless you’re the one who is dead… and even then…?

Each time I think I’m reaching a ‘now you’re done with it’ milestone, I see a symbol as perplexing as the one in the photo. No idea what it means, but I’m getting a vintage feeling about it, in other words, I’ve something old is being worn anew, again and you’re never going to know what it feels like to wear something new which has never been worn by another. It feels grungy, such things don’t get washed. And Grunge isn’t fashionable, so basically everything about you is outdated and you know it but can’t do anything about it because you’re not the only one who has a say in what you’re wearing, what you’re living in.

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The other day I came across a post which asked – How do you deal with difficult people? – or something along those lines. The question was asked by a blogger who has been blogging about someone who has been frustrating them for a long time, so they’ve explored all the possible answers and they are still asking the question. A common occurrence when trying to figure out an impossi-puzzle.

I considered weighing in with a reply in a comment and then I thought… better of doing that. I shrugged, what do I know. I could be the difficult person someone else is wondering how to deal with just as much as I could be the person wondering how to deal with a difficult person.

I’ve found loads of advice about this sort of scenario because there is loads of advice about it due to demand and a need for supply to that demand. And because we all tend to think everyone else is difficult compared to us. Some of that advice is excellent… in theory, practice tends to put it to the test in a way for which it was not designed.

It’s like an umbrella which is great for rain, as long as the rain falls a certain way in a certain quantity at a certain rate and timing, and wind isn’t involved in the scenario, especially the kind of wind which turns umbrellas inside out.

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Hey, maybe that’s what that symbol is… a wind-resistant umbrella! And maybe it is telling me to get one… is there such a thing? I’d still probably misplace it and then when the rainy day for which I have been saving it comes along…

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The only thing which really poked me about the post was the idea the poster had that only a few people seem to be willing to admit to having faults. Really!?! I double-taked until I found myself several miles backwards, as far as I can tell it’s because we’re all so consciously aware of our faults that we become difficult for others to deal with… and why we find others difficult to deal with.

We’re all a bunch of faults highlighted with a fluorescent marker, trying to distract other people and ourselves from the marker-highlighted bits, hoping that someone at some point may actually look at us with eyes which don’t immediately zone in on what is wrong with us according to them.

Is that as close to love in as close to an unconditional form of it as we can get?

And even if someone does that… we may feel compelled to point out our flaws to them just in case they thought we were perfect… nothing good comes of that, especially if the eyes see perfection in an idealistic way… as you can hear the countdown like an ominous drumroll to their ideal falling apart in their eyes like the coloured flecks in their irises increasing in number and… now you’ve disappointed their unrealistic idealistic expectations of you. They don’t like that and now you have to feel the wrath of their disappointment. Yes, they did this all to themselves, but they used you while doing it and so now it’s your responsibility.

Or something like that… expletive if I know, I’m still trying to decipher the symbol on the milestone. And I’m still taking bets on whether I reach that ‘You’re done with it’ moment or if I die before I get there. My money is on…

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