Since it’s Capricorn season (not open season on Capricorn – which is all year round), I thought I’d have some fun (yes, Capricorns can do that thing known as having fun) and take some of the search terms in my blog’s stats which people have asked their search engines to answer for them about Capricorn… which led them to a post on my blog that probably didn’t help matter at all or answer anything other than perhaps confirming their suspicions about Capricorns.
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If you ask a Capricorn what is wrong with Capricorns… we’ll most likely turn your pointy finger around at you, because you’re the one who thinks that there is something wrong with us, so the problem is yours to solve not ours, therefore only you can answer it.
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First things first… Capricorns are actually people. A people just like you are a people. We may seem like Borg sometimes, and we do assimilate, however appearances can be deceiving especially when you’re looking at us from the outside and judging us based on your own personal criteria of how someone should be, behave, look, etc, for your benefit. Remember when looking at others… others are not looking at themselves but at you. If you’re having a problem with a Capricorn person, just apply some empathy, put yourself in their shoes and take a look at yourself from their perspective… of course, if you’ve already done that and that is what created the problem, then you’re… um… (see image below).
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I can understand how that can be annoying, disturbing, disruptive, and all sorts of other negative things. Capricorns do this to themselves when they look in a mirror. I’m a mermaid (sort of similar to our sign’s ancient design), we say while looking at our reflection, all magical, mystical, mythical and shit, and our reflection just looks at us with that stony-faced look and says – you’re just a regular human wearing a stupid costume, and the colour doesn’t suit you, but you could work with the scales, kind of goes with your dry skin.
So, yes… we’re not the most supportive (of idealistic personas) or polite sign. Look elsewhere in the Zodiac for that. But if you insist on having a relationship with a Capricorn, then there are some guidelines you might want to consider, especially if you intend to accuse your own personal Capricorn of something…
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I read somewhere that Capricorn is associated with the elephant who are renowned for their memory.
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We’ll take your accusation on board, and consider it at our leisure… which leads me to one of the recurring search terms about Capricorns.
1 – capricorn silent treatment.
About that… it may look silent, but it is not silent which is probably why you’re so uncomfortable with it. You’re imagining all the things we’re thinking about you… yes, we are thinking… yes, it may be about you… it is however probably not what you think we’re thinking about you. The more paranoid you are about our silence… that’s something you might want to look at within yourself. Our silence is usually not The Silent Treatment, not as in…
2 – capricorns narcissistic
We’re not silent for your benefit or punishment or to manipulate you, this is the kind of silence which is for us. As someone pointed out in a search term…
3 – capricorn perceiving but he is quite silent
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So, if a Capricorn is silent, let them be silent.
It is not about you, if you think it is about you… pointy finger turning around.
It is about them taking a time out to work thing through internally. Don’t try and force your way into their inner sanctum, if they want to share with you, they will, if they don’t want to share with you, they won’t and the more you try to force your way in the more they will block you. Privacy, for a Capricorn is precious. Respect it.
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Do you really want us to share this side of ourselves with you? You may say that you do, may even believe what you say… but words are words and… we’re not always as into words as others are where belief is concerned, we tend to trust other aspects of human communication more than words.
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Marlene Dietrich – Capricorn
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We listen, but we also watch… we tend to trust what we see more than what we hear.
Talk is cheap and easy… we prefer doing things the hard and expensive way. That’s where the long term value exists.
So if you’re searching for this…
4 – capricorn man trust issues
or this…
5 – capricorn sociopath (a popular search term)
or something along those lines… then this…
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We take our time to get to know you, who you really are rather than who you pretend to be… if pretending is your thing then we’ll annoy and frustrate you until we become a nemesis to you in your eyes because you want us to buy into your talk and not check out if your walk matches your glibness.
We always check out what we are potentially buying into… and what you are trying to sell us. We like to know more about who and what we are investing our time (ruled by Saturn) in and what the consequences of our investment will be.
Your view of our Anti-social disorder… will inform us about your social order views. Such as…
6 – best way to piss off capricorn man to make him do what u want
Basically this is all about you getting what you want. And a Capricorn isn’t giving it to you so… you want to find a way to get it from them (force them to give you what you want without respecting them and what they want) and you (naively – as in a lamb volunteering itself for the slaughter) think that pissing off a Capricorn will do the trick… perhaps because this trick works with other signs? Does it? Does pissing someone off really get you what you want?
Not with a Capricorn, unless you’re willing to face your own demons. Are you willing to pay that kind of price to get what you want?
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Samuel L. Jackson – Capricorn (I thought he was a Sagittarius!?!.. oops)
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Still want to piss of a Capricorn…?
7 – how to destroy a capricorn man completely
Then be aware that you may get what you want…
8 – do capricorn men say what you want to hear to get you to shut up
… in the short term, but the long term is a very different story.
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Wile you’re celebrating your win over a Capricorn… enjoy it, for now, we have Saturn on our side and that is a mean planet when viewed from certain angles, which may explain…
9 – why are capricorns so mean
Saturn is a hard taskmaster and right now we also have Pluto on our side (or against us yet still in our sign). Which may explain…
10 – why are capricorns so emotional right now
Capricorns and emotions seem to confuse others…
11 – how do u know u hurt a capricorn
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And even then, if we’re admitting that we’re hurt… watch out!… or, more practically, it’s too late… and soon you’ll be searching for…
12 – capricorns suck
… because…
13 – don’t lie to a capricorn
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Jim Carrey – Capricorn
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and…
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That’s what we’re doing when we are silent… figuring things out, reviewing what you said and …
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14 – capricorns, don’t forget and don’t let go
Memory of an elephant… a human kind of elephant.
So while you’re wondering…
15 – when your capricorn man is giving you up at time of need
16 – how can i make a capricorn to love me again
17 – capricorn men in relationships confused
18 – how to make capricorn man listen to you
19 – capricorns don’t show their feelings
20 – do capricorn men test relationships
21 – capricorn can’t communicate
22 – how to resolve issues with a capricorn
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We’re wondering this…
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Zooey Deschanel – Capricorn
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or not really wondering anything but just…
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’cause when you’re a Capricorn… sometimes you just think in ways that other signs can’t figure out.
23 – how do capricorns think [you might want to check out your Capricorn’s Mercury sign and 3rd house sign, amongst other things, for this question’s answer]
For instance, this particular Capricorn (author of this post) has an Aquarian Mercury, as well as Mars and Neptune in Scorpio in the 3rd house of the mind, and natal Uranus/Jupiter also aspects my Mercury… and natal Pluto aspects my Capricorn Sun, as does natal Saturn… so… stuff… stuff which won’t fit neatly into Capricorn Sun yadda yadda…. and it will affect other signs, Sun signs and otherwise, differently. If you’re a Leo, you won’t ‘get me’ the way that a Scorpio might…. and probably would find my sense of humour funny, and are more likely to think I’m being serious when I’m not, such as if I wore this…
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A Scorpio would find that hilarious…. as would another Capricorn… Leos, Cancerians, or otherwise inclined signs might take it all too oh-I’m-all-wounded-now seriously… shame it isn’t a fatal wound which would make you focus less on what I’ve done to you and more on what you are doing to yourself using me, and then maybe healing would occur rather than more wounding of you inflicting yourself onto me.
Ouch!
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Denzel Washington – Capricorn
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If you have…
24 – issues with a capricorn
perhaps the answer is… try another sign, this one isn’t for you. There are 11 other signs for you to explore, maybe one of those (like your own sign) is better for you. We’re not walking on ego-shells for anyone and we don’t expect anyone to do that for us either (if you meet a Capricorn who does… check the rest of their chart out… or stop using astrology to explain and excuse humans for you).
This is our signs usual view of expectation…
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Although that usually comes across as this…
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You have to see the film to get this one. Ben Kingsley – Capricorn.
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Stop trying to figure out Capricorns… figure yourself out instead, that’s easier and is more fun as you get to know yourself better, and when you do that a whole world of wonder opens up for you.
Do…
25 – do capricorns forget about you when they leave
No and yes… enough said. You do not want to know what they remember and you may wish that would forget that part of it and that they wouldn’t forget what they do. Because you want to be in control… that’s not going to happen for you with a Capricorn, although they might lead you to believe it… and you might actually be tempted to believe it.
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Ralph Fiennes – Capricorn
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Happy Cappy season… best wishes with that!
An Upturned Soul 
This is one of the best posts I have read yet. Oddly though, I am a Leo and I understand and identify with this more than you might think. If this is really descriptive of Capricorns, Leos must have some identifiable quality. Maybe it’s something with planet alignment and birth charts. I really should start looking into astrology again. Have a good holiday 🙂
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I am a Leo woman who dated a Cap man. Never again. All this was spot on. Chalk and cheese. I am the sunshine; he was the dark of night. I laughed; he sulked.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
Although in certain respects Leos and Capricorns have certain things in common, which is perhaps why they are attracted to each other, they tend to have different approaches to those similarities which separate their paths. Leos tend to prefer the light of day as the Sun is their planet, they love to shine and are very beautiful when they do, and generous with their rays. Capricorns prefer the dark, Saturn is comfortable with a low Winter Sun, and a Leo’s shine can be a bit too much for them.
My mother was a Leo and it was all a bit too much for me. When the Sun is always shining, it makes it impossible to sleep. And my approach was always too dark for her. Although in this particular relationship, a portion of the darkness which she perceived in me was due to how she affected me, and also to how she perceived me and my part (the part she needed me to play for her) in her vision of herself.
Relationships are tricky all the time, two people trying to blend together, to share themselves, their individual selves, and the ensuing chemical reaction may be a volatile thing.
It’s kind of funny… I always saw my Leo mother as being a ‘sulker’ especially when I laughed. I learned to hide my happiness from her as it didn’t fit into her idea of what happiness was. And sulking is something that this Capricorn associates with Leos rather than Capricorns, but I know by seeing things from other perspectives that other signs view a Capricorn’s reflective silences as sulking. It’s all about from where we are coming, our angle on what we see. Perspective is a fascinating thing to explore.
Happy holidays 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
One of the things I love about astrology is that it offers another perspective on viewing life and being human, and it encompasses the polarities, blends them, finds the meeting point of opposites such as negative and positive, shadow and light, and so on. What astrology says isn’t necessarily about astrology at all, it’s just another way to understand something which affects us all.
Astrology helps me to understand being human.
Leos and Capricorns actually do have quite a lot in common, they just tend to approach it from different angles, which is quite fascinating.
Happy holidays to you too, best wishes and many blessings! ❤
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Namaste.
Just as the north and south pole co-exist, and yin co-exists with yang, the signs exist as inseparable pairs. Thus, Capricorn and Cancer have the same core. According to esoteric astrology, Soul begins the incarnational journey through Cancer, and ends through Capricorn. Saturn, rather than representing limitation and hardship, shows karma that is being resolved and energies that are being balanced as one moves from knowledge to wisdom. Esoteric astrologer Phil Lindsey writes, “Capricorn is one of the most deeply occult signs of the zodiac, regarded as a sign of major testing and subsequently (if found fit), initiation. ”
Another esoteric astrologer, Lynn Koiner, writes, ‘The symbol for Capricorn is in reality the Dragon, the Dragon of Wisdom and the Mind of the Soul.”
For Saturn in Aries, Koiner writes, “‘You be what I tell you to be’ indoctrination. Lesson to break free from this limitation of being, and find rapid access to the Higher Self in dealing with Crisis.”
For 8th House Saturn: “If you are not in control, do it all yourself and do it perfectly, something terrible will happen. Lesson in Trust.”
Grace and loving-kindness to you and all whom you love.
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Thank you 🙂
I’ve delved into esoteric astrology, was very into it a while back as it has many variations on themes which are fascinating to explore.
It can get quite complex trying to put all the separate pieces of the puzzle together, which is fun at times but also a bit mind blowing… especially with Saturn and its rings which sometimes run rings around you. Occasionally I will just scrap everything and go blank for a while, see what enters the space, what fills the void.
I’ve read up quite a bit on Saturn in Aries in the 8th, some of the themes ring true but they need to be interconnected with other themes in other parts of the chart, listening to the lines which connect them to the other parts. It’s all the adventure of life, living and being, and exploring and discovering.
A fascinating experience filled with experiential things!
TY for sharing!
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My Dad bought a computer-generated astro report for my 17th birthday (probably 7 years before you were born), I was hooked. Even though I never did astro professionally, I studied patient’s charts when I was practicing. Could never wrap my brain-mind around medical astrology; however, playing astro-Clue is real fun for me.
Having studied the astro chart you once posted, and given the nature of many of your posts, I think you might enjoy reading about the Hades Moon (the “devouring mother”). Also, “The Psychological Vampire, Astrologically Viewed” by Lynn Koiner. (You can find that one online.) Why? Because there might be a Moon/Pluto aspect in your chart that appears when the chart is viewed with 3-D astrology rather than 2-D. 2-D is like looking at a picture of Niagara Falls. Not quite the same as seeing it in person, in 3-D. The 2-D flat wheel is like a flat map on a piece; while the 3-D is like looking at a globe with topographical highlights.
I use Janus 4.3 software because it can do spherically geometry and determine 3-D aspects. In 3-D, there appears to be a very tight quartto-square between the Moon and Pluto in your chart. The quartto-square is used in Uranian astrology. It is like a square times four. Very challenging.
Also, in Vedic astrology, because the Moon and Pluto are both in the same sign, they have a connection … so one more piece of astro fun for an upturned turnonsoul. 🙂 and 🙂
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Thank you very much 🙂
All great food for thought. I shall investigate further as time allows.
I’m not really a Moon/Pluto sort of person although I can see that I sometimes comes across that way. I’m more of an Uranus/Jupiter type who sometimes strays into Moon/Pluto territory… but then goes… ugh, this is heavy and bounds out of it to other places. You can pretty much chart my interests and how far and in what manner I will explore them based on where transiting Mercury is.
Wonderful shares, TY 😀
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Thanks for so much info on Caps!! I don’t know whether to stay or run!! 😉 But me and my Cap are still hanging out~~ ❤ He definitely intrigues me…Love your line, "Stop trying to figure out Capricorns…figure out yourself instead, that's easier and is more fun as you get to know yourself better, and when you do that a whole world of wonder opens up to you." xo ❤
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The less you ‘expect’ from a Cap, the more they’ll give, the more you expect, the less you’ll get. Humphrey Bogart is my reference point for a Cap man. His films… the way he was in them… that’s a Cap for you 😉
A Cap’s soft spot if where you least expect it!
You’re a Scorp and his Moon is Scorp… if I recall correctly… that’s a potent mix. Your ego (Sun) is in tune with his emotions (Moon). Intense. I think you said your Moon is Libra (always striving to be free while in a relationship)… check out if you can if he has any Libra planets (also be aware of his Sun perhaps squaring your Moon (Cap and Libra are signs which square – so a bit of a tussle is involved) – his ego may bump up against your emotions in that scenario).
Just trust yourself, know yourself… what you know about you will go a long way to knowing him too.
Scorps and Caps have many parallels. As do humans.
Diane Sawyer and Mike Nichols are a long lasting Cap/Scorp couple.
David Bowie is a Cap 🙂 so they can be very cool in more ways than just cold!!
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Lots of fun. 🙂 I am a Leo but really enjoyed the Cappy humour, especially the t-shirt!
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I love that T-shirt… can be interpreted several ways, which makes it better! 😀
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I’ve met my share of Capricorns and let me be frank. You guys are vipers and meaner than rattlesnakes. Too bad they’re so good in bed or all of them would be murdered in their sleep. I know mean, I’m a Scorpio, and Capricorns are the Kings and Queens of mean. They’re just self loathing, money obsessed, rude, status hungry, cruel, judgemental hypocrites and heartless people. My sign is reputed for being bastards and I wouldn’t dream of saying or doing half of the things that come out of their miserable mouths.
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You can always trust a Scorpio to tell it as they see it no holds barred 😉
Have you ever had your chart done? Sometimes when we have repeated bad experiences with one Sun sign, something in our chart can explain it. There was an interesting article written about signs which we love to hate – http://sasstrology.com/2015/06/i-hate-that-sign-why-some-signs-push-your-buttons.html – if you enjoy astrology it might be worth checking it out and exploring your whole chart. And if you know the birth dates of the Capricorns you’ve known you could compare their chart with yours to see if there are any hard aspects going on in your charts.
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LOL …. Like their the only ones ambitious, it’s a Leo that runs this country !!! FOH everything is complicated with them and a big head ache and yes they are very judge mental and their not angels their sneaky as fuck ! If things don’t work out between me and this one (Capricorn) he is alright though and I have known him since I was a teenager, and so I did not know any better but he was very distant I barely saw him but he told me he loves me a few months a ago that he loves me, but I never knew he cared for me at all when we were younger, he never showed it but I have talk to other ones, besides him (Capricorns)their too much for me ! I will never date another one if things don’t work out between me and this one (Cap) by the way I am an Leo
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
Leos and Capricorns either get on really well and respect each other or find each other really annoying for similar reasons – in other words Leos dislike Capricorns for similar reasons that Capricorns dislike Leos which can be summed up with – Who do they think they are!?! Respect is important to both Leo and Capricorn, they don’t always agree on what respect is.
Both signs have big egos and they can rub each other the wrong way or support each other – a lot depends on the kind of relationship they have, and on other factors in the natal charts. Intimate relationships between the two signs tend to need compatible Moons, rising signs, Venus and Mars placements.
Capricorns at the moment have Pluto transiting the sign – transits are also worth keeping in mind and factoring in if you’re using astrology to understand a relationship.
Your Capricorn isn’t just a Capricorn, just as you are not just a Leo – there’s a lot more going on beneath the Sun Sign.
Best wishes for your relationship!
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I love your blog! Just found you and now spending my Saturday reading IT ALL.
I have a love/hate relationship with being a capricorn. I can see how difficult the sign is but at the same time, it’s what I am – it’s all I know – and I think we’re very under-rated as people. I’m capricorn dominant, with a stellium, but then have a cancer moon and leo rising (which is very handy for tampering down that icy demeanour everyone says we have!).
The money stereotype gets me A LOT. I’m not interested in money for money’s sake or for just accumulating it because I’m greedy. It’s about security. I want to feel financially secure and that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. People forget we are pessimists, realists and I want a rainy day savings buffer for when inevitably something goes wrong. I haven’t ever met a frivolous, label-driven capricorn. They are they most frugal, sensible financiers I know.
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Thank you very much 🙂
The whole Capricorn stereotype is so irritating! Especially when other signs write about our sign. They think they know Capricorn because… everyone thinks they know Capricorn, we’re so stable, secure, predictable, boring because of it, and so on. They love us and hate us for being that way… but they never really get why we’re that way. They really don’t want to know the why of us.
The astrologer, Stephen Forrest, is a Capricorn, and he’s written some very intriguing insights into the sign based on himself, his own experience of being a Cap.
The things which makes us difficult are also the things which make us far more understanding about being human and the complexity involved in living and being.
The very things which people (and sometimes ourselves) hate us for, are also the things they (and we) value about our sign.
Everyone wants security because life is chaos. Capricorn learns how to tame chaos. How to make the insecure become secure. That’s what others signs love and hate about us. They want the security without the lesson which comes with it – we like to teach the lesson so that others can get their own security and not just benefit from our hard work – that pisses others off about us because it requires a willingness to sacrifice illusion, fantasy, etc, for realism.
We sometimes hate ourselves for that too… it would be nice to believe is unicorns sometimes 😉
Have you explored where your Saturn is? As well as what aspects your Sun and other Capricorn positions. These all flesh out your particular version of Capricorn.
I have Pluto in aspect to my Capricorn Sun – makes me rather hard to handle because I’m very intense, amongst other things which Pluto adds to my Capricorn. I also have Saturn, Cap’s ruling planet in Aries squaring my sun – makes me extra difficult and rather rash.
Check out which house your Capricorn is in and aspects to it from other planets… gives a bigger picture.
Cancer Moon… WOW! Very strong Moon… does it form an opposition to your Sun or other Cap placements? Even without aspects your Ego (Sun) will debate with your emotions (Moon).
Btw, transiting Pluto – has it conjuncted your Sun yet? It will transform how you experience your self when it does.
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Ha. Yes, sun is opposite moon.
but that’s the only cap opposition it forms. (Although it does also oppose my aqua retrograde venus…) Mercury conjuncts Saturn which are both in capricorn. And sun, saturn, mercury are all in the sixth house. (P.S. since you have an interesting Pluto, my Scorpio Pluto is sextile with the sun.)
You can spend so much time delving into astrology! So interesting. 🙂
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Oh and moon, obviously to be even more exciting, is in the twelfth house. 😉
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Ah, Pluto sextile Sun, that’s a powerful combo and the sextile makes it harmonious. You have natural personal power. This is a good write up on that aspect – http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Sun-Sextile-Pluto – and Capricorn/Scorpio is a good blend.
With Saturn/Mercury in Capricorn you have a beautifully focused intellect, excellent communication skills, a deep thinker with a slight tendency to perhaps overthink things through and maybe hold yourself back (although Leo rising will mitigate that), but that can be a positive and useful skill. You value authenticity, you don’t do BS and you certainly won’t put up with BS from others.
You should probably warn people not to mess with you with such strong aspects and positions, mind you they’ll most likely sense your powerful presence and figure that out for themselves 😉
The love/hate relationship you mentioned having with being a Capricorn could be connected in part with the opposition between Sun and Moon.
Moon in the 12th can be hard to fathom as the 12th house is a blurry place. Hidden things, the unconscious, the universal bigger picture, where everything is made of atoms
I have Moon in the 12th, and sometimes it takes me ages to figure out what I’m actually feeling. However I’m quite good at figuring out what others are feeling. I have Moon opp Venus (with Venus in the 6th), it’s a rather introverted placement, you want to connect with others but you also want to be alone. You want to do stuff for others, but then kind of don’t anymore because you want to be free of social constraints and obligations. You want love, to love, to be loved, but love is so complicated and you wish it was simpler. That sort of thing. It will make you rather attractive to others, but you’re not sure if they want a mother or a lover, or both which is slightly creepy.
12th house Moon is strongly intuitive and tuned into vibes in the airwaves, in Cancer it will increase that as the Moon is very potent in the sign and adds extra sensitivity. This could play out a couple of ways in the opposition – oppositions are fun to work with and explore, they can also be a nuisance because it is like having two parts of yourself which are always going in different directions. The trick is to get them to work together (even if they argue).
The Duchess of Cambridge and Lewis Hamilton both have Moon in Cancer opp. Sun in Capricorn – they’re both doing things which unite mind and heart.
So if you can find something which you’re passionate about both intellectually and emotionally, which satisfies the ambitions of your ego and your heart, then that should keep both sides of the opposition happy, and will please your Leo rising too 🙂 Since they’re in the 12th and 6th, doing something which benefits you and others is worth considering too.
Sounds like you’ve got a great chart, with some very intriguing combos, enjoy the adventure of getting to know yourself through the astrological eye! There are so many ways to see the same placement and aspect, and each one can be insightful.
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Exactly what I had in mind :3
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Thank you 🙂
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I love ur blog n the way u put effort into your posts. Good luck for the future and thanks for this great post. 🙂
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Thank you very much 🙂
Best wishes to you too!
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🙂
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I totally fell in love with this post. I laughed so hard at the shear truth of it. Capricorns can really be so aloof, annoyed, frustrated and happy (all) at the same damn time. I wanna read it again but… Maybe later. #El Cappalina
Thank you
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Thank you very much 🙂
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Loved it!!! I’m a capricorn!!! =)
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Thank you, fellow Capricorn 🙂
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Just realized I’m a Capricorn after reading this
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Hello fellow Cap 😀
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As a Capricorn girl…this is very much how we think and are. I’ve recently teamed with a Capricorn guy and although we are a mirror image I can see what the cold remarks, aloof and distance can do to a non Cap person. I’m intrigued by my Cap but he’s difficult to figure out at times. Patience is the key and Capricorns are very patient creatures, they will study you out, respect their privacy and they will always come to you if you let them be and show you are there for them when they decide to share. There’s nothing better than someone getting in touch after a long time especially if there were no bad feelings the last time they communicated, it’s like they’ve never been away. It brings a certain skip to a Cap’s heart.
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Thank you for sharing, fellow Cap 🙂
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this is quite spot on for us. Respect is the first thing to attract a Capricorn its 100% true.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
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I think we are most definitely misjudged. I am only mean when absolutely pushed to the edge. I was with an Aquarius, and my sister is also an Aquarius, and the things that come out of their mouths, often with little provocation is astounding. Also they are absolutely the most closed minded people I’ve ever met, but they don’t think so.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
Funnily enough it was something which came out of the mouth of an Aquarius which got me interested in exploring astrology in the first place – this Aquarius said that Aquarius was better than Capricorn and proceeded to read from an astrology book all the reasons why their sign was better than mine. I listened quietly as I didn’t know if what they were saying was true or not, then went out the next day, bought the same book to read it and find out for myself.
I didn’t think either sign was better than the other, they were different.
But humans tend to like using differences as a means of comparison to say I’m better than you. We’re all a bit prone to bias in favour of ourselves. If that Aquarius had been a Capricorn and I’d been an Aquarius, they’d have probably said the same thing only this time Cap would be better than Aqua.
When we use astrology that way we miss out on understanding which leads to all sorts of other places and end up in judgment which is a dead end.
It seems that others judging Capricorns… comes with being a Capricorn and having Saturn as our ruling planet. I suppose people still haven’t forgiven Saturn for eating his children, and our sign is paying for the sins of a ‘father’ figure who was bad. 😉
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I have a question about a cap man I was seeing. We both were really in love. But had outside issue to deal with. So we decided to take a break and see if we could try again after things calmed down. Its only been a few days after he came up to me and hugged and kissed me. Saying he was reassuring me we were ok. Today he texted saying he didn’t feel the same anymore. Saying that when he walked into work he saw me and felt different. After lengthy txt back and forth. I finally said ok I’ll stop fighting for you. This is what you want. I accept your decision. No matter how much it hurts.( I being a scorpio felt like something was wrong all day) he ends his txt with… You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met,you care so much,you actually paid attention to the person I am, you’re respectful, ambitious, and you loved me way more than anyone. Honestly I know I’ll never find another woman like you….
So do I accept that he doesn’t love me? Or is it that he’s going through something and I should just back off and maybe he’ll return later on? I’m very confused!!!
Don’t know what to think scorpio woman
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
From the sounds of it I don’t think it’s as clear cut as – he either loves you or he doesn’t love you.
He seems to have very strong feelings for you going by what he has said and how he has behaved – Capricorns don’t tend to be effusive, particularly not when they have decided that a relationship is over. I would hazard a guess that he’s been thinking about those feelings and has made some sort of ‘executive’ decision which Capricorns are prone to doing when it comes to matters of the heart.
It’s hard to tell if he’ll return as that depends on what’s really going on behind the scenes with him – which is difficult to know with anyone, with Capricorns it can be even harder as it’s a sign that may not fully know itself what’s going on inside of them.
I would definitely conclude that ‘he’s going through something’ and I would advise ‘backing off’ – that’s one of the things which falls under the category of you being respectful and paying attention to the person that he is. He appreciates that you accepted his decision the way that you did.
I can totally see why you’re confused – he’s being confusing, sending mixed messages. However his last text is clear, he’s saying ‘goodbye’. Whether that goodbye is forever or for awhile… this is where you have to decide what’s okay with you and what is not.
One of the things which both Scorpio and Capricorn like and need in a relationship is respect (ideally respect should be a part of all relationships regardless of zodiac signs).
You’ve been very respectful towards him. You listened and heard him, and have dealt with the situation in an incredibly reasonable, logical and mature manner.
He’s been respectful towards you by acknowledging that you’re awesome and he’s a fool for letting you go. Seriously, if he’s not sure he’ll ever find anyone like you… why is he letting you go!? I would say the answer is that perhaps he thinks he’s not worthy of you, maybe he feels that he doesn’t love you as much as you love him and you deserve someone who does, or maybe he has concluded somewhere in that weird way that Capricorns sometimes do that being in love is an obstacle in his career path.
It should be noted that if you’re using astrology to figure things out – Pluto is transiting the sign of Capricorn, and Uranus is just slowly moving out of a long square to Pluto, and is still squaring the sign from Aries. This has been affecting everyone, especially those who have placements in Cardinal signs. Transformation through strange events is pretty much par for the course (mind you, that’s always a part of life and relationships). Structures falling apart is also a theme at this time.
This is a quick and interesting look at Pluto’s journey through Capricorn – http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/what-is-the-meaning-of-pluto-in-capricorn/
As a Scorpio everything goes deep for you. You dig deep. What’s under the surface is something you will always want to know about. So what is under the surface of your side of the story. You’ve mainly spoken about what he wants, and your focus seems to be on understanding that and being accepting about that. There is something missing from the picture you’ve shared and that is your side of the story, what you really feel – are you really okay with the way things have played out, would you really be okay with waiting around to see if he’s really saying goodbye or if he’s just going through something and will be back?
I realise you may be keeping your feelings about this private – that’s very Scorpio. You don’t need to share things with me but you do need to share them with yourself, as it may help to clear up some of the confusion. A relationship is two people – you may not be clear about his side of things, but you can be clear about yours, and yours may help to clear up the confusion you feel about his side of things.
Best wishes.
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Hey everyone. Just stumbled across this blog in my endless search for answers and figured I’d give it a shot here. This is a long one but I’ll shorten it as much as possible without skipping any details.
I am a female Cap, 12/23. Met a male Scorpio, 10/26.
We chit chatted for about two weeks or so (with a 5 day break when he decided to up and vanish). He was very attentive, texting every morning, responding quickly, being talkative and fun.
We finally met up and went out. He was very full on, touching, kissing me, rubbing on my bottom, turning my chair around so he could look in my eyes, all things that I LOVE but couldn’t let on because it was the very first date. The next day on the phone he was being very sex focused again talking about my thong, my soft ass and anything else he could think of. It got annoying and I told him to cut the crap. It was just way too much for just having met him, I felt objectified. He got upset, we talked it out and that was it. The next day we went to the beach, he kissed me with no problem but limited how much he touched me. You could literally see him fighting himself mentally to not touch me. I figured he was just respecting my wishes.
Fast forward to the following weeks, over time I noticed he started declining my invites to hang out whereas before he’d be on the first thing smoking to come see me and if I happened to be in his area and go over to see him, he wouldn’t touch me, no kisses, he’d barely even look at me. Big change from the man who turned my chair around because he “wants to see my eyes when we talk.” Being the Cap that I am, I let him know this was a problem. On the first date, of course I don’t want your tongue down my throat but now, a month later, it is certainly ok to be open and affectionate with me.
Looooong story short, we slept together after about a month. Nothing spectacular, no foreplay, no kissing, no eye contact, just eh. He stopped talking as much, he rarely initiates conversation, almost NEVER looks at me, won’t let me touch him, won’t let me kiss him, I have to ASK if I can touch him or if I’m being too touchy. I can be at his place for 3 days at a time and we’ll only have sex once and the rest of the time just lay around in bed, him on the phone and me just sulking around. Literally. We argue all the time about his lack of affection. I ask him what happened to the guy from our first date, he told me the things I say killed him. When I tell him I’m going to stop dealing with him, he won’t let me. He takes me around his friends, his family, his son, let’s me drive his car by myself, whatever I want to do for the most part, we can do but he will NOT be affectionate and if he does, it’s a quick thigh rub, a quick hand holding and that’s it. I finally told him I’m done because it’s painfully obvious he’s no longer interested and/or dealing with another/other women(an) and he never responded. I’ve decided he just lost interest and kept me for whatever reason. It wasn’t sex because in 2 months we had very little of that. I just like a good mystery and learning how things work they way they work and I want to figure this out and I know Scorpios like to withhold things and play games so it’s never as easy as that. Any input??? Did he just lose interest like I think or did I hurt his ego too badly by pointing out his flaws?
I don’t have either of our exact times of birth so it may be off a little but our placements are:
HIS—
Sun Scorpio
Moon Sagittarius
Mercury Scorpio
Venus Sagittarius
Mars Capricorn
Jupiter Capricorn
Saturn Scorpio
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Aries
Asc node Taurus
MINE—
Sun Capricorn
Moon Aquarius
Mercury Capricorn
Venus Aquarius
Mars Scorpio
Jupiter Aries
Saturn Sagittarius
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Leo
Asc node Pisces
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
From an astrological angle some of the things which you’ve mentioned where there is tension between the two of you could possibly be down to Saturn aspects in synastry. Both his Saturn aspecting your chart and your Saturn aspecting his chart.
Astro.com has a free synastry chart generator in the extended chart selection. It would be better if you had birth times but you can generate an approximate chart without the exact birth time which will show aspects between your charts.
For instance his Saturn in Scorpio may be conjunct your Mars in Scorpio or square your Venus and/or square your Moon. Your Saturn may be conjunct his Venus or Mercury.
Venus, Mars and Moon are important planets to consider when exploring relationships using astrology. The Moon shows our emotional natures, our sensitivities, our emotional needs, what nurtures us, and where we may be prone to getting hurt. Venus is how we attract others and what others may find initially attractive about us, it points to our seductive side. Mars shows how we pursue those to whom we are attracted, and what we find attractive in others, it shows our passions, what lights our fire. If Saturn is in hard aspect to one or more of these then it may cause restrictions, friction, repression/suppression, and feelings of being controlled/censored. Saturn/Moon aspects can be particularly challenging.
Saturn in aspect in synastry can also point to a committed relationship, one which may last for a long time – this all depends on how those involved in the relationship handle the challenges which Saturn brings.
This gives an overview of Saturn in synastry – https://cafeastrology.com/articles/saturninsynastry.html
Your charts have many points of compatibility in them – Your Mars would find his Sun/Mercury intensity very attractive. Mars in Scorpio needs to find a partner who is unafraid of going deep. And his Mars would find your Sun/Mercury attractive. Mars in Capricorn needs to find a partner they can respect – respect will be very important to him in relationships.
One thing which stands out is your relationship story is that he respected your wishes – when you asked him to back off because he was coming on too strong too soon, he backed off. That’s a very good sign in a relationship – he listened to you, and adjusted himself. But then when you no longer wanted him to hold himself back he was stuck in holding himself back and for some reason found himself unable to switch himself back on again. When you asked him about it he accused you of having killed that side of him off – that is not a good sign in a relationship. However that is an interesting statement and if I was you that’s what I would investigate because it points to an issue which the person has with themselves and if you want to understand the how’s and why’s of someone’s behaviour you need to figure out what kind of relationship they have with themselves, what sort of dialogue is going on in their psyche. You can find clues to this inner dialogue by exploring his chart – he has stelliums in Scorpio/Sag/Cap – that’s quite a focused combo. It would be interesting to see which houses they are located in and what quarter of the chart is emphasised, but to do that you need a birth time.
Looking at things from a non-astrological angle, researching relationship dynamics might prove to be informative.
This is quite an interesting series on that:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201508/how-end-the-fight-you-cant-remember-why-you-started
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201509/the-dynamic-thats-poison-any-couple
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201509/intimate-relationship-dynamics-iii
Reading up on the differences between the male and female approach to relationship, communication, and such can also be helpful. Men and women have certain differences in communication styles which can cause all sorts of problems in relationships – most women like to talk about their relationship with their partner at length, dissect it, analyse it, discuss emotions, point out problems past and present and how they should be ‘fixed’, men tend to find this anathema, and may end up feeling that everything they say and do is wrong in the eyes of the woman. Once a man feels that the woman in his life is constantly criticising him by critiquing the relationship, by analysing their interactions, he’ll shut down and begin to distance himself, zone out, avoid conversation, although he may hang onto the relationship because when a man loves he tends to do so deeply, loyally. In some ways women are far more fickle than men, but women don’t tend to see themselves or men that way. Men are also less complicated than women when it comes to relationships.
So your question – Did he just lose interest like I think or did I hurt his ego too badly by pointing out his flaws? – Pointing out someone’s flaws is always a bad idea in a relationship. No one likes to have their flaws pointed out.
When in doubt ask yourself – How would you feel about him if he had done to you what you have done to him? – if he kept pointing out your flaws to you, would you be hurt and perhaps lose interest in him and your relationship with him?
Pointing out his flaws too often too soon in a relationship is similar to coming on too strong too soon sexually in a relationship.
My guess is – you hurt him, both his ego and his deeper feelings, and that’s why he has distanced himself and appears to have lost interest.
Capricorns have a way of being a bit too blunt and brutal in their honesty even for a blunt and brutal in their honesty Scorpio. Scorpios can withstand a lot of harsh truths, but they’re far more sensitive and prone to never forgetting a hurt… which in some ways is similar to a Capricorn, but expressed differently.
Astrologically it is also worth keeping in mind what’s going on with transits. Mars is retrograde and revisiting Scorpio atm. Pluto is in Capricorn – this one is particularly challenging for those with placements in Capricorn, deep transformation is required, structures and foundations may get destroyed to be rebuilt – and Uranus in Aries will also be affecting through square placements in Capricorn. And Saturn is Sagittarius – for those with Sagittarian placements, which both of you have, this one is worth investigating. Especially for you – you’ll be havign a Saturn return, that’s a doozy of an aspect, lots of self-reflection and self-review involved.
Take good care of yourself, and remember when approaching relationships using astrology – others are a mirror for us, what we see in them reflects us back at us.
I’d recommend checking out – Through the Looking Glass by Richard Idemon, an excellent astro book on relationships (including the relationship with the self)
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Wow, thank you so much. What an insightful response. Everything you said makes sense.Hindsight is 20/20 and when I was analyzing every stinking detail, which I am so very guilty of, I remembered the time he asked me what he’s doing wrong so that he can fix it. I honestly didn’t think I was being abrasive or damaging to his ego by telling him to slow it down a little and then later on in our dating, I didn’t think it harmful to tell him I needed more affection. He tried though. Even with giving more affection, he’d try. It was a horrible effort, he’d put a hand on my thigh for a few seconds and then pull away. Or put his head on my lap for literally 2 minutes and then pull away. Still no kissing and very little conversation. I guess it’s just like you said, he backed off and then somehow got stuck.
I am working on getting my original birth certificate so I can find out my time of birth and if he comes back around (which surprisingly, I wouldn’t mind), I will try to get his also and get more detailed charts done. I will read those links you suggested and I’ve heard about that book a time or two so I will certainly order that on Amazon as well. Thanks so much and I’ll update you if anything new happens! =)
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Hi. I am a Capricorn (01.01) girl and found you article very interesting. I have a story own my own. I don’t fell in love easilly because I have some standards, I like quality on men and the fact that I can learn from them. So when I met this aries (30.03) guy, actually he friend requested me on Facebook but I accept him 2 months later. We live in different cities but the distance is only 2 hours. After a few days he inboxed me asking me out, which I accepted but declined soon after finding some lame excuse. He then, the next day asked me out again since it was his last day in the city so I agreed. It would be the very first time I would see him in person and when I did I was a lit bit disappointed. When we got out of the car we start walking, deciding where to go to sit. Oh he is spanish and I am greek russian and we both founded it exciting. He loved my accent and I liked his. Anyway we found a place and went inside. It was crowded but we found a table right away. I ordered wiskey (which I always do) and he red wine. His body was facing me. His phone out of sight. He asked me lots of questions and we find so many in common. But still I was not very excited or see this date developing in something. Oh he is younger than me 2 years which is an issue for me. I had it as a rule never to date someone younger than me and told him that but he was quick to defend himself saying he always dated older women. He is a professional footballer and I asked him if he would really fell in love with a girl and he had to leave because footballers change teams often because of contracts, what would he do. He said she should follow him because is his dream. But what about her dreams a question I didn’t ask. I am an artist, I studied fashion designer abroad and now I worked as a beauty consultant. He asked me if I like my job and I said is good but not something that I want to do forever. He asked me about past relationships, I only had 2 and I am 26 but they were awful and left me bitter taste one was beating me and the other was playing around. Of course I did not tell him that. I just said that I had 2 and 5 years now I am own mt own by choice. I liked some men during that time but nothing ever happened. I did not tell him that either. He was impressed. I told him that Ive been on a few dates but I was mentally checking them and clicking x on everything. He asked me that I probably had a huge list with standards. I told him that I dont fell in love easily. Anyway we didn’t stop talking and laughing. His body language indicated that he really liked me. Me as a woman felt that. He told me if I felt that chemistry between us. I said I did feel something. I also forget to mention that I loved spain his country since I was a little girl and I known all about spanish football and players. We talked non stop and again he was impressed. Time flew so quickly that the waitress brought us the bill and apologized because they were closing. He reached out for his pocket and paid without checking. We left but he took me to an anothet place were we could continue our date. We ordered the same it wad past midnight I felt already relaxed in his company. He was reaching for my hair tucking them behind my ear, touching my hands and legs in appropriate way. Never felt insulted. We relaxed so much that I start telling him stories that he loved hearing.
I was talking him in greek and russian and he loved it! But I let out a side of me showing him that I had a huge ego which I don’t but I was hurt before and built some walls around me. He told me he never met a girl with personality such as mine that he felt that he knew me. He was so close to me and I felt happy. I guess what made me fall in love with him was that connection we had. He was asking about my designs and how he liked them. He was in general interested. He shared with me some of his dreams. He talked about family and having a daughter. Time again flew quickly and the bill came. He again paid without waiting. And when we left he took my hand and I quickly took it away. I felt shocked at that gesture but to save the awkward moment I hugged his arm since it was cold. He hugged me back and we walked towards the car. He brought me home and I looked at him and wanted to kiss him and I asked if I could give him a kiss he nodded smiling. I gave him one one the cheek. He said that was not a kiss and I gave him one on the lips he then again shook his head and told me to close the door and he would show me how to kiss properly. I told him it was years since i kissed someone and he wad shocked. He start kissing me and I stood there stone cold. He said kissme and I did but I had my open and I wad looking outsidd the window. He lookex back as to see where I wad looking. But I completely gave in and kissed him. Then I told him I needed to go. I got out of the car, he got out too hugged me and kissed me goodbye. I felt so happy that I wanted to cry. But he never send something. He was liking my pictures on fb some illustrations I was posting. And then in few days he had his birthday and I inboxed him happy birthday he got back to me in a day saying: “chris! Thank you so much. I hope..the best for you.” Just that and I replied by asking him how was he and I never got an answer back. 3 months passed and withing those months he kept liking on both fb and instagram my photos my illustrations not everything I was posting. And he was on holidays in brazil and spain. And then I see one picture of him: he left the team he was playing in my country and he had a contract with the team till 2018 and now he was playing in a team in romania. I was so sad but I realised it was a better deal for him even though he told me he would want to stay here for ever. I send him a message in instagram since he never answered on fb after some hours he saw it and didn’t reply. I was just wishing him the best for his new step in his career and that I hoped everything would go well for him. He didnt even say thank you. I dont get it he like a picture of me 2 days ago but won’t reply me. Why is he like that? I really thought and felt that he liked me. My friend who was accidentaly in the same bar cafe told me that we looked so intimate together so in love that she didn’t want to interupt us. I really liked him now I can not do much but I would like to know what happened
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Hi, I came across your article and found it very interesting. First I would like to apologize for my English as it is not my mother language. I am a Capricorn girl born on 01.01.1990, I see myself as a very strong person at least that is how i want people to see me but I am very sensitive on the inside. I am single right now and was single for six years, i know is too long but I was studying at the time and came out from a broken relationship and it took me a little time to heal not because I lost the love of my life, I was a child back then barely 20 years old, but because I lost me. He was abusive towards me mentally and physically. I never told anyone as I didn’t want them to know that I was suffering.I was with him 4 years. And you probably wonder why I didn’t I leave, I cant excuse myself, probably because I thought I loved him and he would eventually change. He was Taurus born on 05.05.1987. But I am not writing you about my ex, well since him, I closed all doors, built walls all around me and didn’t let anyone in. I studied fashion designer and during that time I was working on various part time jobs, pushed myself to the edge, I won’t get in detail. I was trying to figure out what I wanted in life and who I was. After I finished my studies in 2014 I returned back home, because I missed my family, you see I spent all my 3 birthdays from 2012 to 2014 all alone, because I was working and never celebrated. Birthdays are not a biggie for me, I was just getting a year older. Returning back home I found a job as a beauty consultant at Debenhams Elizabeth Arden, there I had a crush on my assistant manager who was Aquarius and older than me 5 years. Nothing ever happened, and I actually never imagined starting something with him because he was a village boy with no manners even though he was very handsome. Blonde green eyes. Anyway he left his position in October 2015 to start his own business, when I found out I was hurt, even cried, I got used seeing him everyday and daydreaming of him. But I quickly forgot about him and realized that we weren’t meant for each other. Not worthy of each other. My parents start worrying, why wasn’t I seeing anyone and was spending all my days home. I just didn’t have that appetite going out clubbing or for coffee with friends (I only have one by the way, a true loyal friend). But with this friend of mine I was going time to time to restaurants and she was always taking selfies and posting on her Facebook page, and every-time she did I had tons of friend requests that I was deleting, you see I only have a certain group of friends on Facebook, relatives, classmates, work colleagues, so I deleted all without checking their profiles. Please bare with me, there is a reason why I write all this. Again on October 4 she posted a picture of us, and I had again a dozen of friend requests, I came across a name, thought about it for a few seconds but let it that way, i didn’t check his profile page but neither I deleted all those friend requests, so I left them pending. And my life continued being boring as it was. New years eve I closed my 25s and gone 26 and all I wished for was happiness and love to come my way, that day when year changed from December to January I spent it with a baby girl 3 months old, I babysat for a couple of relatives, and watching that child in my arms I thought about having my own and looked back in my life and how I left time pass by and me hiding inside my walls, so I decided to give a try to anyone coming my way. There was this guy who worked opposite our store, he owned a cava and was loaded, 10 years older than me and Leo. He bought me perfume, brought me roses but I could not see myself with him, so I declined, he persuade me but nothing so he moved on. Then on February I caught the eye of the area manager, who was responsible for the shops located in two cities. He was too loaded but I didn’t like him a bit, he probably was older than me about 15 years and Pisces. I told my parents who told me to give it a go and so I did and went on a date with him, so boring that I asked him to leave, I ordered 2 whiskeys to feel better. Poor guy he texted me asked me out again twice and I declined with lame excuses. On March 15th I accepted all pending friend requests and days later I came across a picture of a footballer, something triggered inside me and I checked his profile, born March 30, Aries, 2 years younger than me, well I had a rule never date a younger man, not even a day younger. I wouldn’t say he was all that handsome but he had something that clicked, I pressed like at 3 pictures of him, he liked mine back, OK I saw it as online flirting without talking, days later I saw he had Instagram, I start following him, he followed back. Oh it was so exciting, I hoped he would inbox me time soon, meantime I was checking his background, pictures, no girls, no weird comments, no weird staff. He was a professional footballer, well most of his profile was about football, he is Spanish playing away from his home, I am Greek- Russian. The problem was that he was living in other city but still it was problem because the distance was 2 hours with the car and I often went there for seminars. One day I logged in on March 25th, after I ate a stinky fish salad and was about to have a bath and do my hair, to get ready for work tomorrow, he in- boxed me, saying hi, and how was I, I fell flat on my bed and called my bestie before answering to him, then we start messaging each other , he told me that he was in the city and would love to see the place and if I could be his guide, I accepted and we set time for that evening but the I declined saying I was tired and that we should arrange it another time, he said he really wanted to see me, I apologized but didn’t change my mind. Next day I wake up to his message asking if I could today, I really wanted to see him, and it was the first time I would go out with someone i haven’t seen before, actually it was the first time I felt so excited so I agreed. We met that evening and when I got inside his car, I was not that impressed but I kissed his cheeks and he kissed mine. He was cute in a boyish way. Too young I said to myself. We parked go out of the car and he was lean, fit and tall. Bonus! we walked and he asked me about my background, asked me to talk in my mother languages and he was impressed. We all know that accents, foreign languages are a turn on. he loved my accent in English and the way it changed during conversations. We choose a place to sit, we ordered our drinks, whiskey me, wine for him. His body was facing mine, his arms open, his phone nowhere on sight, when i was talking he looked interested, asked me questions about my past relationships, my job if i liked it, he shared some of his dreams with me, that he wanted to go to Brazil, start a family someday, have a daughter, I told him that i never dated younger men, that it was difficult for me to fell in love, that why i was alone all this years by choice. I did not get in detail about my past relationship. I did not want him to think of me as some vulnerable naive girl. we found out we had lot in common, i loved football and known all about the national spanish football team and all the players and he was so impressed, I loved spain since 2002 and wanted to live there, I did not tell him that though. He said he never met a girl like me, with such a personality, he asked me if I too felt that connection between us, he told me that he felt as if he knew me, he also said that he always dated older girls and that he was mature enough because he was living alone since very young, all to him defence. Time passed by and the waitress approached us bringing the bill and apologizing for closing, I did not understand that the shop was empty when it was full before. he paid without looking and we go out, he then took me somewhere else, we ordered the same, this time we felt very relaxed, he was tucking my hair back, touching my hands, being very close to me, his body protective showing people that i belonged to him, he asked me all those questions about what i like, my studies and how he liked my illustrations and if could draw him too one time. i told him short stories he loved to hear. but during all our conversations he presumed that i was a big ego, he told me that i said that i am a lit bit because i know my worth. anyway time passed, again and the waiter brought the bill, he paid without waiting for me to make a move. he then promised me to take me everywhere i wanted, to the sea, to the mountains. he then held my hand and i was shocked and took it back but to save the awkward moment i wrapped myself around his arm, he then hugged me and we walked like that to the car. he brought me home, and i sat for a few seconds and asked him if i could give him a kiss, he nodded smiling, i gave him 1 on the cheek he said it was not a kiss, then i gave him one on the lips, he told me to close the door and he would show me what a really kiss looked liked and after so many years I gave in and let him kiss me, and it was lovely but i felt unsure and scared that i would get hurt again. he was kissing and was looking outside thinking of all this, he turned to see where i was looking and then i just start kissing him and gave in completely, he said something in spanish about my lips, i understand a few spanish. after minutes from kissing i said goodnight and got out of the car, he got out too and hugged me and kissed me.as i walked towards home, i looked back and saw him looking at me. I felt happy, fulfilled . But that was it. I never saw him again, he put likes on some illustrations I posted. On his birthday i in-boxed him, wishing him happy birthday he replied a day later: Chris! Thank you so much, I wish.. the best for you, I then asked him if he had a good time and he never answered to me. But within this months he liked my selfies my illustrations, picture of my parents that i posted but nothing! I saw he went to Brazil then back to Barcelona, and one good day i saw he changed his team and moved abroad to play in another country. I was heartbroken, because i knew his contract with the team was until may 2018 and they renew it on February but now he changed team and went to play for a Romanian team. I send him a message to instagram since he didnt answer to me on fb, telling him: I just saw your post; to take this decision it means it is better football and better opportunity.I am happy for you. This is your dream; I hope everything will go the way you want, saw it after a few hours and did not reply. when 2 days ago he liked my selfie. I dont know why he wont talk to me, what did i do wrong? Even if he did not like me, he could just say a thank you, no? You must deslike someone very much so you wont thank them for a wish. and why like my pictures since you dont like ME. I really thought he liked me, i felt it too. he told me he wanted to stay here forever but he left, i asked him if he loved a girl very much and he had to go, what would he do? he said I would take her with me, football is my dream, but I would love he to come too and share the dream with me, and he was looking in my eyes. What do you think? please reply, at least someone reply me
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Hi, thank you for sharing 🙂
It sounds as though you both had a wonderful date, and during that wonderful date you were both very into each other, the conversation flowed, connections were made, love appeared to blossomed and it seemed like the start of a great relationship. It sounds as though he liked you very much and you liked him too.
However since that date much has changed for him, and for someone who has the sort of career which he does – that’s going to be the main focus and relationship for him in his life at this time. Footballers have short careers which are very demanding and to succeed in such a competitive environment they have to devote everything to it, often making decisions about their personal life which require a sacrifice to the professional one.
It sounds as though he still likes you, just not in the way that you’d like for him to like you. You’ve been friendzoned, and that’s always difficult to accept. It’s a blow to the ego and heart, those those parts of us do not like to be rejected however politely it is done.
You mentioned that he’s an Aries. Aries tend to come on very strong when they’re attracted to someone, and they can make you feel as though you’re the centre of their universe, the only one who exists, while they’re in hot pursuit of your affections. But their affections and interest can go as quickly as they arrived. They are notoriously fickle, and very hard to catch especially if you want a long term or serious relationship.
I have an Aries male friend who is always falling madly in love – this is the one, his soulmate, he’s never loved anyone as much as he loves this woman, he’s going to marry her immediately so she won’t get away! Before you know it he’s the one getting away from her. He knows he does this and it frustrates him as much as it infuriates the women with whom he does this. He really wants each one to be the one and only, he really believes that they are in the heat of the moment, and he knows that it’s his fault that they aren’t.
If you search online looking for info about – Aries and love – there are loads of articles and astrology forum discussions giving hints and tips about how to keep the affections and interest of an Aries, most of them warn that this is a very hard task as Aries is constantly on the go. Just when you think you’ve got their attention it’s gone again.
A relationship between and Aries and a Capricorn is a difficult one as both signs are headstrong, determined to do things their way, and both of them think the other sign is doing things all wrong. Aries tends to think that Capricorn moves far too slowly, while Capricorns think that Aries is too rash and rushes too much.
From the sounds of it an entire relationship was played out in one night on one date. A bit like a romantic film – once the film ends so does the relationship. It does not sound like he is interested in more than that.
His actions towards you on social media are saying – I like you just not in that way. He ‘Likes’ your posts because he’s being friendly and he likes them, but when you DM him, try to get up close and personal, he blanks you, ignores you – it’s his way of getting across to you that you’re just friends. He’s not said it outright because people tend to try to avoid that kind of confrontation, men in particular are a bit afraid of the sort of scene, emotional, tears, blaming and such, they think women cause when a man rejects them.
The fact that he’s no longer living near you kind of seals the fate of your relationship. If he ever decides to pursue the connection you had between you because he may in the future realise that he let someone as awesome as you get away, it’ll probably be too late, long after you’ve moved on and found someone else who is better suited to what you’re looking for in a relationship and partner.
If you have problems with the way he’s behaving now and you hardly know him, chances are those problems will be even more annoying and confusing if you were to get to know him better. People tend to be the way that they’ll pretty much always be – either accept them as they are or give up. Don’t think that you can change them into someone who they are not, who you need them to be for you.
This was a beautiful experience, a fleeting dream of love, don’t chase after a dream which has gone – you’ll hurt yourself doing that and eventually it’ll ruin the memory of that wonderful date for you.
Take good care of yourself. Best wishes!
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I ran into this blog while trying to figure out what to do with my now supposed to be “ex” boyfriend who happen to be a Capricorn. We were in a distance relationship for a year and we had our break ups and make outs (via skype). We were friends for couple of months. Then things changed after we kissed at a party and 4 days before I leave for another state.
the day before I leave the country we met with friends. We got drunk and he ignored me. One of his friends danced with me and my cap didnt like that and left. He claims that he saw the guy grinding and kissing me (which didn’t happen). We worked it out and he visited me in the other state and we had our best time together.
Then I left the country and our distance relationship started. We did have good times together and I held him really dear to me. We got to know each other better and we were very close. He constantly asked about my previous relationships but I didn’t want to tell him much about them for fear he would feel jealous (because I know he is) and because I didn’t see why I have to tell him about them (I wasn’t proud of the. i implied that they involved physical contact but didn’t give him details). So anyway, he figured out about my relationships and he didn’t accept them. He gave me hard times and broke up with me because of them.
But I didn’t let go. I felt that he didn’t know me well and he didn’t know that he was the one for me and no one else could take his place. So we got back together and out relationship became stronger (or that’s how I thought). he was all the time texting and skyping. we talked for hours. he seemed to care and to love me. He told me that he doesn’t want to lose me. We had plans to go and work together in a different country. He booked tickets to come visit me in my country. and I arranged for his stay and prepared everything. 1 week before he comes, we had a fight (about our differences, me being a libra, his need of physical contact in a relationship, sex) and I told him that I don’t have the guts to call it a quit (because I knew I love him and even if I get angry I cool down quickly and forget about the bad things easily). Later that day, he broke up with me. I tried to dissuade him but then I let go (thinking that if he really loves me he will come). this didn’t happen. he didn’t come. I contacted him after some days and wanted to get it again with him. but he refused. he said that he needs to figure out what to do with his life, he couldn’t forget the night with his friend, he couldn’t forget and forgive me for my past relationships. he once told me that if you really want me I want to see action and plans. I proposed to go visit him. a first he liked the idea and suggested things to do and where to stay. but days after, he texted me and said that he doesn’t want to see me. He told me that he really wants to want what we have but our situation is difficult and logic says no to it. I’m driven by my emotions and I don’t see why we should give up without trying.
he all the time tells me that he likes me and that he never felt jealous for a woman like this with me, that he wants me, that I made him feel wonderful, that if it’s real the relationship is going to stand the distance, that he loves me, and that his heart belongs to me.
I understand that hes going through a transition phase in his life, he wants to change career and build a future. I want the same thing. The feeling I have for him are immeasurable. He’s the only guy I opened up to and was ready to go into a relationship with (sexual). He continuously hurt me with his moving back and forth and lately with his break up.
I’m thinking of visiting him and talking to him face to face after a year of separation and virtual contact. I want to live the good feelings we have (which he refuses with his head). we are both in crossroads in our career/ studies. But I know that no one made me feel this wonderful like him. I’m terrified however that I get rejected. I’ll travel across the Atlantic to see him but I’m not sure whether he will be happy to see me or not or whether he will drop his guards and give it a chance. I want to see him to clear things up with him and to make it up for him for all the pain I caused which he never communicated to me till he decided to break up.
Please I really need your advice on what to do and what to expect. This is urgent. I should apply for visa soon.
I appreciate your patience reading and commenting.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
The only advice I can give you is – You should do whatever it is that you really want to do. Which option is the one that you really want to do.
I realise that there’s an argument going on between your heart and your mind regarding making a decision here. Those arguments are worth having as both sides need to have their say, be heard, listened to and acknowledged.
Both options have pros and cons, and whichever way you go you’ll probably have doubts about that choice, and it will leave you wondering about the what if’s of the option you didn’t pick.
Do the thing which will leave you with the least regret.
Choose the option which is the one that allows you to find the answers you’re seeking, the answers you really need to get even if those answers aren’t necessarily the ones you want. Being rejected is always hard and painful, but sometimes it can release us from the ties which bind us and which keep us stuck yo-yo-ing between options and never making a decision.
Being a Libra – you’re prone to swinging one way and then the other in search of perfect balance. Decisions can be very hard to make for a Libra as they seem so very final and you’re always aware of the other side (of the many other sides) of the issue which makes you question all sides and sometimes pull you in too many directions tearing you apart.
Imagine going to see him and all the scenarios which could possibly happen. Then imagine not going to see him and all the scenarios which could happen. Which imagined side of the equation pulls you to do it more? Which one is the one that you’re more passionate and driven towards doing? Which one will help this stalemate move on?
Astrologically Libra and Capricorn is a difficult match because they’re both Cardinal signs – both want to lead and be in charge of the relationship. Libra is more fair about this as the sign represents relationships, diplomacy, fairness, justice, and is ruled by Venus who is a lover of love. Capricorn tends to be less fair due to Saturn being its ruler, and there is a tendency, amongst certain types of Capricorn, to be a bit of a dictator, to play the parent, the disciplinarian who says – my way or the highway.
The signs also square each other. For more on the signs of Libra and Capricorn squaring each other – https://www.llewellyn.com/journal/article/2031
You’re always going to be more accepting, flexible, understanding and open than he is. Chances are that whatever he does to you – you’ll find a way to forgive and forget, excuse and explain, understand and empathise, move on and evolve.
However he may find it hard to do the same for you – it sounds as though he’s very rigid in his views and rather attached to being the ‘injured party’ and he seems to have a tendency to blame you for your relationship problems. You’re his ‘get out of responsibility jail’ card.
As confusing as things may have been between you, I think he should have visited you when he said he would, but he found a reason not to and he used you as that reason (at least according to your version of events).
This kind of push me – pull you is fairly common in relationships – https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201509/the-dynamic-thats-poison-any-couple – that article is part of a very interesting psychological series on relationship dynamics.
His holding your past relationships against you is not a good sign. He holds grudges – this is a Capricorn tendency. It’s also a human tendency. If someone brings up your past ‘sins/crimes’ every time you argue, it means they keep a ‘shit list’ to throw in your face when they’re feeling vulnerable and insecure. This is likely to be a habit.
Now his jealousy may be ‘flattering’ at this stage of your relationship, you may write it off as an expression of his passion for you, but that could become a real problem in the long term, especially his ‘imagined’ reasons to be jealous – that incident at the party with the guy you were dancing with, and with him being convinced of what he saw even though that is not what happened, still holding it against you as though you were unfaithful, and making you have to keep apologising and explaining something that didn’t happen to him and he’s still convinced it happened the way he saw it… not a good sign, if he doesn’t sort this jealousy out it could become more problematic than it already is.
Imagine being in a committed relationship with him, being faithful to him, loving him… and he’s still jealous of your past relationships, and gets jealous every time you talk to another man regardless of why you’re talking to another man or whether you actually have spoken to them. He sees the worst rather than what is actually happening, accuses you of being unfaithful rather than trusting you and your love for him, goes off and sulks, works himself up into an angry/hurt state and then later accuses you without seeming to care whether his accusation is just and fair or not. That will become stifling, frustrating and will chip away at your relationship.
Think of what it would be like if you had to be with this man 24/7 and didn’t have the benefit of long distance acting as a buffer.
Also worth thinking about – you say that you want to see him to ‘make up for all the pain you’ve caused him’ – what about the pain which he has caused you? Is he acknowledging his side of the pain caused, what he has done to hurt you (like not coming after he said he would), including the pain he has caused to himself and blamed on you, is he offering to make up for that or likely to ever see any other side of the story except his own?
There are pros and cons in any decision and in any relationship, question is do the pros outweigh the cons, do the pros make the cons worth dealing with.
If you could do anything in this scenario what would that be?
If he could do anything in this scenario what would that be?
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Thank you for your comment. It was very helpful. I did what you told me. My heart wants to go but reality is difficult. It requires lots of courage especially that he might reject me because he’s not ready (his life is a mess right now) or maybe he has forgotten about me and moved on in his life.
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I am currently dating a Capricorn man…we have been seeing each other for 4 months. So many things to love about him. I agree with everything I read above; thank you for this article! One things I’ve noticed is that I can sometimes tell that he is making little tests and evaluating whether I have potential as a long term partner. I can see that he is interested, but I can also see that he is cautious… I am a Sagittarius. I hope it works out with him!
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
I hope things work out for you two!
Capricorns never stop being cautious, and sometimes their cautious ways are very annoying, especially where relationships are concerned. The closer you get to them the more cautious they sometimes become, some aspects of them will always be private – don’t take it personally 🙂
Sagittarians are great, and really good for Capricorns. Keep being yourself and keep letting him be himself and see what happens!
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I was with my Capricorn for 5years,I am a Leo,both in our late 40’s,each have teenage kids,we all got on so well together,we had a fantastic relationship,always got on so well,same humour,great chemistry,no arguments,we said we were each other’s love of our life,going to get married,he was very jealous of other men being around me,he said I made him feel like a god!
We had our first argument caused through me being very ill and feeling low,he took it I didn’t want to be with him anymore,I tried talking to him explaining how I felt and how much I loved him but he built a wall around himself ignoring me.
2 months after after this he started a long distance relationship with a woman who’s a 5hour flight away from him,she is the complete opposite of me and half his age,spent 15 days together in total over a period of 2 months now they are engaged…is this normal behaviour for a Capricorn,I still love him and am finding it so hard to understand?
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
Astrology can be useful sometimes, and may even help to explain someone else or ourselves to us, but it has its limits, especially if you’re just using Sun sign astrology.
We’re not just our Sun sign, we’re our entire natal chart, which includes many other signs (unless someone has all their planets in one sign, which is rare), and also includes aspects, house placements, and transits, their aspects, house placements. Plus how our natal chart interacts with the natal chart of another.
Rather than asking – ‘is this normal behaviour for a Capricorn’ – perhaps the question is – is this normal behaviour for this individual. But even then there are many extenuating circumstances to consider.
Relationships are complicated even at the best of times. We often find ourselves hard to figure out, figuring someone else out, especially trying to figure them out through the filter of ourselves and what they mean to us, who we thought they were or wanted them to be for us, can be an impossible puzzle.
The thing which stands out in your story is – ‘he said I made him feel like a god!’ – while that’s rather flattering it’s also problematic. What happens if for a moment in time, perhaps because you’re ill, you don’t ‘make him feel like a god’ because that’s not what you’re focused upon? Can he take not being made to feel like a god, can he stick around when you perhaps make him feel anything but a god? Did your illness perhaps make him feel too human, too powerless and helpless, so he went off and found someone else who returned him to god-like status.
It sounds as though just when you needed him and the support of his love the most he shut down and retreated from you. That’s a bit of a dick move, imo. Capricorns can be dicks, especially when it comes to showing their love (we can be very awkward about displays of affection) but a Capricorn in love tends to be loyal to the person they love even when being a dick about it.
I understand that you still love him but he doesn’t really sound as though he’s worthy of your love. Leos need to love someone who is worthy of their love’s golden shine.
When your love makes someone feel god-like it’s easy to love them as they feel great and tend to behave as great as they feel, but when your love isn’t making them feel god-like… that’s when the real test of love begins.
Those worthy of our love are there for us when we’re at our worst, not just there for us (for themselves) when we’re at our best.
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” ― Marilyn Monroe
Figure out what it is that is really ‘hard to understand’ because it’s not him. He was there when things were good and left when things weren’t good for him – that’s not a Sun sign thing, that’s a human problem of those who need others for ego reasons, and whose relationships are rather one-sided.
Take good care of yourself!
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Hi
I am with capricorn guy for 1 years
We are just friend with benefit, I never call him but in beginig he was calling Me so we have so much argument together and any time I go after him , he forgive me and curry be my friend.
I am scorpio and I am not in love with him but I feel like he is very good friend
When ever he see me he huge me and smile on me, he talk about all his problem in business with me and what he want to do in further.
So many time he call me girl friend in front of his friend but I told him I am only his friend.
Any time I ask him to take me out he take me and he dress very good when he want to go out with me.
He buy me what ever I want and smile and make happy.
I really enjoying with his friendship.
I want to marry and want to have kids
So I ask him if he want to marry and he Saud yes in further and I told him I can’t wait until he make his mind so I look for another guy.
But he still respect me as friend
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
Not sure that I quite understand this relationship.
You’ve said that you don’t love this man, he’s a good friend to you, you’re just not into him the way that he’s into you (but you do like the fact that he’s into you that way), and although you keep telling him that you’re ‘just friends’ you want him to ask you to marry you? However since he’s taking too long to ask you to marry him you’re looking for another guy?
That sounds a bit mercenary and frankly perhaps it’s better to find someone whom you do love before you settle down and start a family.
He may be okay with you not loving him as much as he loves you at the moment but in the long term this might become an issue. Perhaps he hasn’t asked you to marry him because maybe he wants to marry someone who loves him as much as he loves them.
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Thank you for this post. I’ve been on a few dates with a Capricorn guy and found him quite enchanting. Things were going along great and then all of the sudden, he’s gotten very quiet only messaging back rarely. It just seemed odd because it was quite sudden and only a few days after some positive signs of keeping moving forward.
After reading this, I’m thinking he’s just taking a few steps back and needing some quiet time to himself. Being a Sagittarius, it’s a little difficult to deal with. But, that seems to be resting as an insecurity with me. I think I’m just used to if someone wants a little time to their self, they will say it. It sounds like a Capricorn just takes it. I guess what I don’t know is how long to give him and if I should or should not send a message every other day or so just to say hi. Definitely a learning experience.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
The combo of Sagittarius and Capricorn is similar to the extrovert/introvert dynamic – with Sag being the extrovert and Cap being the introvert. Introverts need a lot of time alone, private time to recharge their batteries, space to themselves to think, figure things out and chat with themselves – so do Capricorns.
If you have been spending a lot of time together, your Cap may simply be taking a time out to get his bearings and rest.
Sagittarius is very Carpe Diem about life, which is inspiring and Capricorns tend to love it and benefit from it, however Capricorn always needs to stop, pause and review matters, especially when something has caught them by surprise (like strong emotions often do). When a Cap finds themselves swept up in the heady early phase of a new relationship, they tend to feel both excited and a bit fearful because they like to have their feet firmly planted on the ground. So they may back off just to get their footing again.
Sagittarians are go-getters, you shoot your arrow and then chase it with passion, once you get going you’ll keep going. Your sign is half-horse, galloping across fields, traveling far and wide, often only stopping once you reach your goal. Capricorns are mountain goats, they climb a bit, take a break, climb a bit more, take another break perhaps to look at the view, see how far they’ve come and where they’re headed, taking time to consider whether they’re on the right path. They can stand still for a long time.
The stops and starts and stops of the goat are difficult for the horse to deal with because it wants to run – goats rarely run, they usually do it when attacking or fleeing.
So, what should you do about this suddenly gone quiet Cap?
It depends on what happened before he suddenly went quiet. It could be related to something other than his relationship with you – work/career/studies tend to be very important to Capricorns and they’re not good at multi-tasking their attention. If a job requires their attention they’ll zone everything and everyone else out to focus on the task.
Pay attention to what he has said in the rare messages he’s sent since then as they’ll give you an idea of what going on with him. Caps can be straightforward and terse. If they say something like – Busy with work, can’t talk right now – that’s exactly what’s going on with them so don’t read anything more into it.
A message every other day could be too much for your Cap – he might feel pressured by it. It depends very much on how you do it and whether he feels that he has to reply because you’re expecting it. You don’t want him to associate your messages and replying to them with a chore. Usually I advise those who want to message their silent Caps to do something which doesn’t require a response and which makes the Cap smile. Make your messages tasty treats – something which makes them associate fun, relaxation, lots of good things with you and makes them look forward to your messages.
You shouldn’t change who you are or the way that you are naturally for him – after all you want him to like you for who you are. And if he likes you he will like who you are and the way you are and won’t want you to change. It’s good to be thoughtful about the other person, and occasionally curb your enthusiasm if the other person shows signs of being a bit overwhelmed by it, but you don’t want to make the relationship into one which becomes stressful for you, with you having to figure out how to behave with them and with you not being able to just be you.
You could just straight out ask him what’s up with the suddenly going quiet and see what he says. Tell him you find him enchanting (that’s such a lovely word to use!) and want to get to know him better, but don’t want to overwhelm him with your enthusiasm.
Sometimes being blunt is a good tactic, because sometimes the other person is in a similar quandary and so admitting you’re not sure may be an ice-breaker. Everyone tends to be uncertain as to how to behave in new relationships, especially when they find themselves strongly connected and fear being rejected, and it could be that he’s trying to ‘be cool’ so he’s cooled down so as not to come on too strong for fear of scaring you away. However it is early days and it can feel a bit strange to be that up front with someone you’ve only just gotten to know.
I read this astrology post last night – http://www.bigskyastrology.com/capricorn-full-moon-midwife-general-wolf/ – which you might find an interesting read.
Best wishes!
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I appreciate the amazing and well thought out reply to my comment. That means a lot and provides a lot of insight.
I will admit, this is my first interaction on a deeper level with a Capricorn. I seem to always attract a Taurus or Scorpio. Definitely not great matches for me. And while it appears a Cap isn’t the best either, I will admit that this one is seemingly worth any effort.
I guess I could provide a little backstory which might help. We chatted online/text for a few days before electing to do coffee. A little bit before coffee, it seemed like he was trying to put it off. But, coffee went well and we agreed on a dinner a few days later before I went on a vacation. Dinner also went well and we kept in constant contact through my vacation. I even picked up a couple of items I knew he’d appreciate. When I got back, we were supposed to go dinner a day or two later. That got postponed until the weekend. In the meantime, he would say “I do miss you.” That was comforting. Then on Saturday, he wanted to make it breakfast the following morning. We got together, did a few things, and afterwards I got a text thanking me for an amazing day. I saw him briefly the following night as I needed to swap out a size for him on something we got on Sunday. Everything seemed to be fine the next day. The day after that, he began to get really quiet and since then, the messages began to get more sporadic and have tapered off and I haven’t heard from him since Friday afternoon when he was at lunch. I had sent him one on Friday evening just to say I hope his hanging out with ex-roommates went well and then one on Sunday just to say hi and hope things were going well and looking forward to a meal sometime soon.
That’s the backstory. Your post definitely is great because now I know that when I message him again, I’ll try to make it more of a treat. I’ll try to include a funny picture or something that he’s interested in. I never thought about it being a chore to message back. Some earlier texts before Friday definitely put the expectation of a message back on him, with things of “look forward to hearing about your morning.” Now, I had asked him once about being a little quiet and he didn’t reply to that. Nor has he outright said, “look, stop messaging.” I have a feeling that a Capricorn would be direct in saying that they don’t want to hear from someone.
I guess, like you said, it’s a matter now of dialing back some enthusiasm. Being a Sag, we definitely are excitable and can run off, like you mentioned. Truth be told, deep down, I’d be content with a nice slow trot early on. I guess I just want to find a way to lure my Capricorn back without pushing him away.
I appreciate all of the help, the link, and thoughts. It’s enlightening and eye opening. Definitely lots to think about.
PS – I enjoy the word “enchanting” as well. I’ll have to use that one. 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
If I were to hazard a guess, your Capricorn may have mentioned you, how he met you and how much he likes you, to his ex-roomates – although meeting people online has become fairly accepted and acceptable there’s still a slight hesitant sense of ‘this person could be a psycho’ to it – and they may have said something which made him insecure and question himself with regards to his feelings for you. An insecure Capricorn often retreats into their shell a bit like their opposite sign, Cancer (thereby going sideways which may appear to be backtracking).
It’s interesting that you mention being attracted to signs which ‘aren’t great matches’ for you. I wonder if your natal chart explains the pattern – perhaps it’s Moon/Venus/Mars related.
Every relationship we have shows us something about ourselves, about our relationship with ourselves. We often seek in others parts of us which we are seeking to merge with the rest of us.
Saturn in transiting through Sagittarius at the moment – maybe this could explain the attraction to a Capricorn. Are you seeking to be more cautious in relationships, tame the Sagittarian risk-taking side of you or at least get a new perspective of it (sounds like he could use being a little less cautious because he could lose you and you sound like someone he really shouldn’t lose).
Best wishes for what lies ahead – every relationship is an adventure!
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how do I submit a question
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The same way you asked how to submit a question 🙂
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I am a cap born on January 15 and this is very true.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
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hello! i find this blog really insightful and amazing.i hope you can shed some light into what i am experiencing right now with a cappie. no other sign has driven me into googling for answers like caps.
im a taurus ( May 2,) and he is a cap ( dec. 31). we met through a dating site and he was very likeable when we exchanged messages. i had issues with my body because i was fat but he assured me he doesnt mind and that looks dont really matter to him. when we finally met i really found him to be very cute and he was very nice and very talkative. i really like it because sometimes i can be very silent and dead airs are very awkward for me. he talked about just anything and we laughed and exchanged stories until morning! that for me was very promising. i instantly liked him. but i dont believe that love happens overnight. i believe that love should be earned and developed. i notice though that he doesnt text me first. its always me texting him first. then we met the second time and that was fantastic. we had sex and the sex was very great! we both love to kiss and hug and the sex was electrifying. in the morning he said he had to leave because he has to work when i saw him to the door we cant stop talking so he suggested we go grab some coffee and there we saw a travel agency and he suggested that we go on a vacation in a few months. i was touched because to me it means he must really be interested in me. we talked to the travel agent and made some tentative plans. i thought he was gonna be more expressive to me by calling me often or texting me a lot but still he doesnt text until i text him first. and it takes sometime before he replies. he works at a plant and he has another one on the side and he said that he is very busy thats why he cannot reply sometimes. but for me thats not very acceptable because for me im not asking for an arm here. just a simple reply. and i was thinking that if he really is interested in me and he really likes me surely he would make time to reply to me right? we met a third time and sex was again very great. we have long talks in between sex while we drink coffee or when he smokes. he reallyy likes to talk and i really like listening to him. sometimes we argue but i relent most of the time, this time i really think im falling for him. what i dont like though is that he can be very cold. and its always me who has to initiate for us to meet. he would be very sweet and caring when we meet and the day after that he would make me feel really special and send me sweet messages but after that, back to his cold self. although he told me that his work schedule is very toxic i cant accept it and sometimes i think that he is only making an excuse. once, we were supposed to meet but he cancelled on the last minute and opted for the next day.. i was pissed so i asked him bluntly if he was seeing somebody else that night thats why he cancelled? what he did was he called me and he talked to me until morning so that i can be assured that hhe wsnt seeing another one that night. then when we met again for the ourth time i was quite sure i am already in love with him. he was sweet and passionate andhe promised hed bring me to a better hotel and that he would tell me all i need to know about him. i was so happy and i felt we are finally going to the next level. then the coldness again, he said theres problem at work and his family and he goes by days not texting or calling me now. i didnt want to argue or fight with him so i just accepted it but deep inside me im pissed off. i dont know if he really likes me or not. is he seeing other guys? ( he denied dating other people other than me) i cant really figure him out. he tells me he misses me but he has a funny way of showing it like he doesnt care about me. i cried last night because im torn between forgetting him and holding on and giving this a chance. what should i do? please do advice me. thank you so much.
taurus guy.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
Going by what you’ve shared it sounds like this is the beginning of a really good relationship. You both sound like good people who’ve found each other and are going through the early stages of getting to know each other – which is a mix of wonderful and challenging.
Taurus and Capricorn Sun signs are a good combination, they’re very compatible signs. If you’re using astrology to explore a relationship, especially an intimate one, then you also need to look at your respective Moon signs, Venus and Mars, and also the 7th/1st houses in your charts, what signs are on the cusp, and the planets in those houses. The Moon sign, both yours and his, is an important factor for relationships as this shows how we nurture and what we seek in the way of nurturing, how we express our emotions and how we perceive the emotions of others.
I think some of what may be perplexing you about him is actually more about you. When we meet someone whose style of being and self-expression is different from our own is can make us worry, trigger anxiety, and if we’re just getting to know them it can make us see problems where there aren’t any.
What stood out was your story about the time he had to cancel your date. You imagined a worst case scenario – that he was seeing someone else – rather than trust him and his feelings for you, even though when he cancelled the date he immediately rescheduled for the next day.
He obviously wanted to be with you but you assumed he didn’t want to be with you. Why?
(Your natal chart might be able to clarify this kind of concern – check the 7th house, and things like Saturn and Chiron)
Had he done anything in the time that you’ve known him to warrant your suspicions and subsequent accusation?
Or have you been hurt by someone who cheated on you in the past and that past relationship and the pain it caused you is colouring this one?
When you got angry with him and confronted him with your fear that he was seeing someone else, he reacted with concern for you, took time to reassure you and let you know everything was good between you. He had to prove to you that he wasn’t doing what you had accused him of doing – this is a difficult position to put someone in. He seems to have taken your accusation and anger in his stride and rather than be upset with you for accusing him of something he didn’t do and being angry with him where there was no need for anger he was understanding and caring, instead of being cold after what you did to him he was warm towards you. Perhaps he had had a hard day at work, working two jobs, but rather than sleep, get rest, he stayed up all night giving you his full attention and care – that says a lot about how he feels about you, and it says far more than those times he doesn’t reply to a text or doesn’t call you back ASAP.
A tip – Focus more on what he does do for you than on what he doesn’t do for you. If the things he does for you far outweigh what he doesn’t do for you then the relationship is good. Make sure you’re not reading more into things than what is there. Don’t forget that he’s human just as you are and all humans have quirks which other humans don’t always understand, and need slack cutting.
As for the issue of him going ‘cold’. It sounds like you experience him as ‘cold’ when he’s not catering to your needs – I would hazard a guess that you have something like Moon in Cancer or in some other sign which is quite sensitive, and are particularly sensitive to others and what it means for you when they’re not nurturing you or focusing their attention on you. You worry about what that means and may end up assuming the worst.
Certain signs tend to shut others out when they’re busy, taking care of their business, dealing with their own issues, personal stuff, and other signs find this ‘cold’, weird, mystifying. Most Capricorns tend to go ‘cold’ when they’re focusing on something which needs doing. They often split their lives into ‘burdens’ and ‘pleasures’ and may try to deal with the ‘burdens’ first so that they can then enjoy the ‘pleasures’… but sometimes doing things that way means they get caught up dealing with burden after burden and the pleasures get neglected.
Overall it sounds like he thinks you’re a great guy and is lucky to know you. He shows signs of great care towards you.
Question is – Are you perhaps not as into him as he’s into you and you’re looking for something wrong with him as a way out of the relationship? It does sound like you’re being a bit picky and that impression comes from your own words about the relationship – is there something you haven’t shared or is he really as great as you say he is, then what’s the problem?
You might find this article worth checking out (not because of the signs but because of the situation) – http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/capricorn-woman-aquarian-man/
Sometimes we look for reasons why someone doesn’t ‘love’ us enough because we don’t really love them but we’re afraid of admitting that to ourselves and would rather blame them for what’s wrong with the relationship. Sometimes when we think someone doesn’t love us it’s actually us who doesn’t love them and we’re transferring our issue with them and making it their issue with us. If you’re not into him, no matter how great he is, then you’re not into him and that’s okay.
Best wishes!
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dear ursula,
thank you so much for answering my letter. you just dont know how much this means to me, i am sooo into him. i really really like him. theres no question about that. its just that sometimes his inconsistensies when it comes to affection is very unnerving. its something very new to me. and i have trust issues because of a lover in the past who was such an infidel. so when my cappie cancelled a date i immediately suspected the worst. i thought he was just like the other guy. some of the things you said here was actually the same things he said to explain himself. its quite uncanny. like he also said that his ways arent like my ways, that he is different. i was kind of pushing him to reveal some things about him citing that i have been very sincere and honest to him right away and i have been complaining that he still hasnt up to now told me what his last name is. he said that in time he will reveal to me when he gets to really know me ( he cited a terrible experience in the past where he had been very honest to the guy he was dating and when it turned sour the guy became his stalker. using the infos he has given about him). for me i couldnt accept it and although i didnt say it but i was really insulted for him to think that i am capable of stalking and character assasination. and honestly when we talk on the phone i would be surprised because he would bring the subject up about his last name and explain again why he doesnt tell me. i would be irritated and tell him that i havent been bringing the subject of his last name up anymore and hed say that he can tell im still bothered by it because i made him feel i dont believe him.now i dont know he manage to know that but i do have some skepticsm about it still.
now that im falling for him i have this weird desire to know everything about him. but i can take it that he wouldnt divulge some vital infos about him like where exactly he lives or what his last name is. although those things are very important i am more perplexed and anxious that he doesnt reply to my text or call me for days now. he said that he has been working double shifts at work but sometimes i see him online in wechat and viber so i really wonder why he cant send a simple reply to me when he has time to be on viber or wechat, it as come to a point where my questions have been becoming repetitive that i think i am already annoying him. once when i was upset about him not replying, i told him that if he doesnt want to see me anymore he only has to be honest and tell me bluntly because i can take an honest statement than a sugarcoated lie. id rather that he be honest if he doesnt want to see me anymore than just ignore me and hope i would get the sign and just give up. he said that i would know if he doesnt like someone because he would never talk to that someone anymore, i think thats happening already because it has been days since we last talked. did i bungle it up? will he still talk to me? does he still want me? oh i think i messed up. what should i do to bring the harmony back? our last conversation i noticed he wasnt as chatty anymore, there were many dead airs and it isnt like him. is he pissed at me? what should i do?
i really dont know my chart apart from me being a taurus. i was born on May 2nd , 1978 at 8 am. he was born december 31 1983. i dont know what time though.
thank you so much once again ursula. i wish we can be real friends.
p.s forgive me if the construction of my sentences is very messy. im a little tipsy and andthere are lots going on in my head,
thank you so much,
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If you want to explore your chart there’s a great free and interactive way to do it on – http://www.astro.com/ – go to the Free Horoscopes, sign in as a guest user and use the AstroClick Portrait, this chart allows you to click on planets and learn more about the placement and the aspects it makes. The extracts used are by a very good astrologer. This is an excellent website for all things astrology.
I don’t think it’s a ‘weird desire’ to want to know everything about someone for whom you feel very strongly, it’s actually a natural reaction as our attraction to others serves many purposes one of which is to show us things that we need to learn and incorporate to nurture ourselves. We’re often attracted to those who hold pieces of our personal puzzle. Getting to know others helps us to get to know ourselves better.
I do think that him not telling you his last name is odd. I get that he’s being cautious due to a bad past experience – kind of similar to you worrying about him being like the person who hurt you, it sounds as though this relationship may be helping both of you to heal from past hurt due to previous relationships – but if he knows your last name then you really should know his otherwise there’s an imbalance of power in the relationship. Although it’s okay to be cautious early on now that you’re getting intimate, up close and personal, his need for extreme privacy is becoming suspicious rather than cautious.
Sometimes the best way of getting to know someone isn’t through asking them questions about themselves but through their actions which includes their non-actions – that’s a personal rhythm and pattern and those tend to reveal a lot about a person as they often reflect the individual psyche and story of their lives.
A rule of thumb in relationships which I’ve found to be of value is – Don’t take how someone else behaves personally. Their behaviour is personal to them and what’s going on with them, you’re not responsible for who they are.
Be careful of assuming that because someone isn’t talking with you it’s because of something you said or did, because of a ‘mistake’ you made – sometimes it’s due to the other person feeling that they made a ‘mistake’ and they’re silent because they’re embarrassed.
Intimate relationships often trigger our personal issues and we avoid others because we’re avoiding the issue we don’t feel ready to face and deal with.
It sounds like this guy needs to make some decisions now that the honeymoon phase of your relationship has moved into something more serious. Maybe his retreat is due to him taking some time to decide whether he’s ready for a deeper connection with you – he may be scared of what he’s feeling. Sometimes when we feel anxious we retreat from others.
It’s worth remembering that sometimes the way you feel may be how someone else is feeling too. Maybe he feels like he’s bungled it with you and that he’s bothering you.
Don’t ‘try to restore harmony’ as relationships flow forwards, so instead ask – what is the purpose of this disharmony? – Disharmony is often misunderstood harmony.
What should you do? – Be true to yourself and don’t change yourself for him. If he loves you then he’ll love everything about you 🙂
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Been slowly getting to know my Cap man for 3 months; had many fantastic dates and he has slowly been opening up with me on an emotional level. I’ve met a couple of his friends and he has met some of mine. We’ve gotten to the point of agreeing on what we are looking for in a relationship, and although validating, the conversation circles around, and not specifically about US yet; it’s as if he is testing the waters. I am a Leo and my tendency would be to rush things but he has set the pace and even though my patience has been truly tested when I don’t hear from him much between our dates, I have to say it feels right for us as I was recently divorced and he is not quite through his divorce (separated for 3 years but almost done). We have not gotten very far physically and this is because we both feel we want to wait until we are committed. He has pursued me the entire time and I taken the approach of letting him lead us this far…
On our most recent date during dinner the conversation led to discussing his last long-term relationship which he entered into just after getting separated from his wife, lasted two years and ended one year ago. He expressed to me how incredibly painful the breakup was; much more so than the breakup of his marriage. I asked him to tell me more about it and he readily shared his deeply personal pain with me at having spent two years with someone who kept leading him on, then putting him off only to ultimately end things. He said that he never wants to go through this again, and told me outright that it has made him much more cautious entering into a new relationship than he ever had been in the past. I was very empathetic, and agreed that I, too am being very cautious because I don’t want to be hurt. We both agreed again, as we have done many times before that we are seeking a true emotional connection with someone, as neither one of us had that in our marriages, but this time when he spoke he appeared a bit emotional when he said he thought he had that in his last relationship, but obviously it had not turned out that way.
After we finished our dinner, I asked him if he wanted to go to anther venue as we had done in the past to get a drink and he said he felt ready to end the night. Other than simply being done for the night, he did not seem to be, in any way, outwardly upset or cold or hurt but I could’t help but feel a bit miffed myself that he was not wanting to continue to spend time with me as we had done on other dates, late into the night. We did start our date much earlier than usual, so it was not cut short in any way, but I was caught by surprise that he was not wanting to extend the date into late-night. I chose not to question him at all and I kept my feelings in check as I felt it was best. When we were saying goodnight, the dynamic was totally normal; he was affectionate and positive and we laughed together, kissed and hugged. NORMAL. We did not make plans to see each other again (also somewhat normal for us not to set our next date right away) and we said goodnight.
The next day I did NOT get a text from him which he sends most of the time after a date and it has been 3 days..I would not be overly concerned, except for the fact that he ended our date a bit early as well, so the combination has gotten me anxious. He knows that I am away for the weekend and perhaps it is a Cap to not want to intrude, or perhaps it is just a Cap not think much of this at ALL!? Meanwhile, I am frustrated, feeling like we had been getting closer and now silence. I hate to think that he won’t contact me again at all; but each time I have wondered the same thing he has always come through. I had been hoping that by now we would be more in touch on a regular basis and we seemed to be getting to that point having seen each other three times over the past week. My gut tells me that perhaps our conversation was intense for him and he needed to process and thus wanted to go home. I have run through our words over and over in my mind and cannot think of anything I said that might have upset him.
Hoping for some encouragement here; do I have faith, or should I be concerned something has changed? From everything I’ve read (and I’ve read A LOT about Cap men, this behavior could be quite normal and mean absolutely nothing, but I’ll admit my tendency is to obsess. Each and every time I thought I might not hear from him again between dates he has come through without me needing to contact him at all. This time, I may reach out to him in a day or so because I’d like to believe that I’ve made it far enough with him that I should feel ok about it without pushing him away. I realize there is a fine line here when there is uncertainty about the relationship.
I’d appreciate your feedback. Thank you!
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
Something which stood out for me in what you wrote is this part – “We both agreed again, as we have done many times before that we are seeking a true emotional connection with someone, as neither one of us had that in our marriages…” – which juxtaposed against this part – “I chose not to question him at all and I kept my feelings in check as I felt it was best.”
If both of you are seeking an ’emotional connection’ with someone else then keeping your ‘feelings in check’ is an obstacle to achieving that goal.
Why are you keeping your feelings in check? Is it to protect yourself from a risk?
Emotional connection involves taking a risk of sharing what truly matters to us. You can’t protect yourself from emotional hurt if you want emotional connection. So what do you really want? And do your wants match your needs?
Sometimes what we seek from others is something we need to be doing ourselves, and waiting for them to do for us what we should be doing for ourselves, waiting for them to fulfill our needs, to nourish our hunger may leave us hungry with longing – that kind of longing causes the sort of frustration which we end up blaming others for but it’s only partly their fault.
Maybe you shouldn’t be waiting for him to text you after a date to let you know everything is alright between you, perhaps you should text him to let him know that everything is alright between you.
He too needs from you what you need from him.
He shared some very deep, personal and private information with you the last time you got together, this was intense for him and would have left him feeling raw and vulnerable. Maybe he regretted sharing so much – cautious people sometimes feel as though they’ve betrayed themselves by sharing anything about themselves which reveals their heart and soul. Even sharing their favourite song can leave them wishing they hadn’t as they’ve exposed an intimate secret.
Cautious people find emotional connection with others really difficult because of their cautious nature – they keep hoping someone else will solve this puzzle for them but they often reject the solutions offered by others because they’re attached to being cautious. They’re afraid of getting hurt which may lead to getting hurt due to the fear of getting hurt and the things it makes us do.
Since you both have similar wants, needs and longings from a relationship it’s worth keeping in mind that your similar problem has a similar solution, and that the person with the problem usually has the solution to it.
So the encouragement you need, the faith – requires for you to give yourself that encouragement (or not) and take a leap of faith (or not). It’s up to you! It’s not just up to him to let you know it’s okay to take the next step.
You’re a Leo – letting a Capricorn take the lead is always going to end up with Leo getting annoyed/frustrated/infuriated with Capricorn. Leos like being in command and do so with flair. The way a Capricorn ‘takes the lead’ is slow, stodgy and often boring for a Leo.
Check your own chart for more info – your Moon, Venus and Mars signs and placements/aspects. Then check how those relate to his.
It does sound like your communications so far are more those of a therapeutic support group, with you discussing your past relationships and your grievances with those, getting stuff out of your systems and supporting each others’ view of your stories, than of a love affair. This can be helpful and healing, and intimacy does requires a certain amount of this kind of sharing, but it’s worth keeping in mind that no one really wants to socialise with the priest who takes their confession or the psychologist who knows all their issues. You might also want to check out your respective Mercury placements – as Mercury shows our communication styles.
Transits are also worth looking at especially if you’re dealing with Capricorns – Pluto is in the sign and may be affecting both his Sun and Venus – transformational change is very much on the cards for the sign.
Ultimately, be true to yourself and don’t hold yourself back for someone else if what you want with them is a deep connection. You need to know that they can handle all of you not just the parts that you show them and adjust for them. If you want to take the lead – take it!
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Thank you so much for your insights. I agree with so much you have said…
Since I wrote the first note to you he did wind up contacting me a few days post-date, as per his typical pattern just to check in and say hi; we had a brief text exchange about our weekends and then the following day (yesterday) I decided to text him again and asked him to call me. It did take a leap of faith to do that because I have not yet been the one to reach out first in most of our communications as I had been letting him take the lead, as I mentioned before. Well, he did NOT call me back yet (it’s been not quite 24 hours), and so my reward for taking the risk of contacting him was not a good one. I’ve heard Caps do go silent for a time, but the timing of this does not feel great given the intense night we shared recently. I agree it’s time to stop circling around in general terms about what we are looking for and put my feelings out there. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to if/when he gets in touch. I suppose if I don’t hear from him I will try to contact him again in a few days.
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Taking risks in relationships are their own reward because you free yourself to act upon a personal inspiration and loosen the grip which inhibitions caused by fear create. It’s a way of affirming who you are, saying ‘Yes!’ to yourself, and encouraging yourself to be your authentic self. Being your authentic self in a relationship deepens the experience of the relationship itself.
Our relationship with ourselves affects and influences our relationship with others. How we relate to others, what we expect of and from them reveals more about us (and how we relate to ourselves) than it does about them and can inform us about our relationship stories – which can give us insight into why certain patterns keep playing out.
If you’re controlling yourself to control someone else, being or doing certain things to get them to be and do certain things, making ‘sacrifices’ to get a specific result (which might leave you feeling resentful if those results aren’t forthcoming), then the relationship will end up being stressful for both people, and will be more about business than pleasure as this type of behaviour is all about making ‘deals’ with others, and creating ‘contracts’ – eg. If I do this then you must do this – and waiting for a ‘promotion’. This sets love up to become restrictive, conditional and a burden.
Expecting your risk to pay off in other ways outside of the self is setting yourself up for disappointment especially if the reward for the risk depends on another person reacting in a specific manner.
It sounds a bit like you’re expecting to get hurt in this relationship at some point, waiting for him to let you down (as perhaps others have let you down in the past). He may be doing something similar.
This is less a matter for Sun sign astrology and more a matter of ‘relationship dynamics’.
You might find this article interesting –
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201508/how-end-the-fight-you-cant-remember-why-you-started
– it’s one of a trio which gives insights into some of the patterns which accompany intimate relationships. These are the other two –
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201509/the-dynamic-thats-poison-any-couple
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201509/intimate-relationship-dynamics-iii
Capricorns do tend to go silent, especially when mulling something over. The more serious the matter the more quiet they become and may take an age to emerge from silence. Pushing them to talk when they don’t want to talk pushes them away and deeper into themselves. They work things out by themselves rather than talking things through with others.
Just as you expect a reward for taking a risk – he may also expect a reward for taking a risk, and he may also feel as you do that his risk did not pay off the way he wanted it to. Sometimes the way we feel in a relationship reflects the way the other person feels too, we may be picking up on what they’re feeling which affects how we’re feeling.
Consider this – What ‘reward’ does he get for calling you back?
If you’re attempting to get someone to do what you want them to do for you it’s worth offering them something they want for themselves for doing it. So, what does he want which he’d do anything (like make the phone call you want him to make) to get? How can you make him contacting you a pleasure for him rather than a duty? And will doing that make you feel good or make you feel otherwise?
It sounds a bit as though you’re superficially letting him take the lead but that you’re trying to lead him in how he takes the lead. Maybe it’s time to let your Leo shine 🙂
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You’ve really given me a lot to think about! Thank you very much 🙂
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Also, worth noting his Venus is also in Capricorn: Jan. 16th 1970
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How will i know if a cappy guy really loves me? I know that cappies are more into actions than words but sometimes I still do think where do I stand. I asked him about this and he answered me by saying “are you not happy I am spending time with you and doing things for you?” I knew he told me before he is not that kind of man that says i love you but doesn’t prove them. He do a lot of things for me like cook me dinner, change oil my car, calls me everynight and text me during work just to ask me if i have taken my break or lunch. And even goes to church every Sunday and hangout with each other the whole day after church
I really like/ love this guy but my question is how come we are not official yet?
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
Sounds like you answered your question without any need for anyone else to do it for you.
How do you know that he really loves you?
Because – “He do a lot of things for me like cook me dinner, change oil my car, calls me everynight and text me during work just to ask me if i have taken my break or lunch. And even goes to church every Sunday and hangout with each other the whole day after church” – he meets your needs, does things for you, goes out of his way to take care of things which matter to you.
He’s showing you he loves you.
However he hasn’t done something which you want him to do and it seems that your love for him is what is really in question rather than his love for you. You want him to makes things between you ‘official’.
Just out of curiosity, why haven’t you made things between you ‘official’? Why are you waiting for him to do it?
Love requires an effort from both people in the relationship, and for both people to love equally and share the responsibility of loving each other. Maybe the next step is not just up to him, maybe it’s up to you?
Best wishes!
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I’m looking for help in understanding a Capricorn man that I was recently involved with. We met on facebook, we have several mutual friends. We texted thruout the days, with a Good Morning text every morning from him. Our phone calls were between 2-3 hours long; we finally met after a month and a half of texts/calls and by the time of meeting in person, we both felt a connection and hopeful for something further. Our first date went great and our 2nd date a few days later involved taking his 12 year old daughter to the park, her and I got a long good. That night he was distant, not his normal texting-self.. The next day he was the same, I asked if his daughter didn’t like me, he said it had nothing to do with her. The more I tried to get answers on what went wrong, the more he pulled away. I’m a Pisces and took his withdraw personally and was extremely bothered and hurt. I excessively texted him trying to resolve things and if not resolve it, at least get answers to what happened, he blocked me; my phone number and on facebook, I emailed him asking to be cordial and to be friends, he blocked my email. When we were involved, we both discussed how we did online dating in the past, he gave him his username, so when he stopped seeing me/blocked me, I looked on the dating site and he was signed on as an active user. I made an account as well because I use to be a member of the same site and hoped it would have bothered him, like it bothered me seeing him on. One day I messaged him there to wish him luck and he blocked me. I know my excessive’ness was too much for the Capricorn who needs his space but I ended up explaining to him that the last 10 days of us seeing each other, I was having tests done to see if I had colon cancer and it made a basket case. He didn’t empathize and I know I destroyed any chance of ever talking to him again. I’m so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Do you have any suggestions or insight that can make me forgive myself. It’s been 2 weeks since our last date; in between time I smothered him with texts, he did text me a few times but instantaneously blocked me so I couldn’t reply; I emailed him asking why he would text asking to be friends while blocking me from responding, he said he didn’t want my negativity. I’m a good person with good intentions and feel like a fool for losing my dignity on trying to resolve it with him, or get answers for my own peace of mind. I’m blocked on every avenue and wonder if he’ll ever come back around, I do know he liked me but he also had insecurities; ex: when we discussed the last time we each had been on a date with someone else, he said it was a year for him, I said mine was a week after chatting with him on facebook (when we initially met), he called me a player and serial dater and always used it against me for not be exclusive with him from the get-go, even though we were casually chatting on facebook and had never met at that point. I’m confused, embarrassed and don’t know how to move past this. Thank you for any insight, I appreciate it.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
Usually self-forgiveness requires being compassionate and understanding towards ourselves. Accepting that we’re human and often do very human things which may leave us with regret when things don’t work out as we had hoped they would. Had things worked out you wouldn’t be holding what you did against yourself and asking how to forgive yourself, you wouldn’t be feeling confused, embarrassed or foolish, your dignity would feel more than fine, and you’d probably feel rather pleased that you’d pursued this man.
It doesn’t sound like you did anything particularly wrong, perhaps you overdid your pursuit of him – tracking him down on the dating site was a bit stalkerish – however some of the reason for that is due to him and his decision to shut you out without any explanation.
He left you hanging and no one likes to be left hanging that way. He left you with lots of questions about what had happened, why a relationship which seemed promising suddenly ended, and since you took his sudden silence personally you felt driven to clarify the confusion which his silent treatment was causing. Your desire to find answers to all the questions with which he left you, and all those extra questions which arose from taking his behaviour towards you personally, caused you to act out of character and perhaps that’s far more upsetting to you than anything else because it altered the image which you have of yourself. The events have made you question your own vision of who you are – you felt the need to stress in your comment here that you’re a ‘good person with good intentions’, so what has happened has made you doubt yourself.
If you’re into astrology more than just the Sun sign part it might be an idea to look at your natal chart and check out how the transits of the moment are affecting it – there’s a lot going on in Virgo atm transitwise which would oppose your Sun sign (and the Sun sign represents ‘ego’).
Sun sign wise… there’s a new post on Sasstrology about how Sun signs approach the first date which might be worth checking out, it is generic and not particularly serious but it’s quite spot on. This is the one for Capricorn:
“He’s scoping you out as a potential partner. Hence, your underlying suspicion that this is a job interview. The entire date will be planned out, and it will be very classy. If he seems a bit formal, it’s because he’s nervous. He wants to impress you with his first-date skills, but he’s afraid this might be a mistake. What if he lets you in and you destroy him? It will take awhile for him to let his guard down, and sex will be something that happens in the distant future.
There will be a second date if: you check all the boxes on his stringent list. Few make the cut.” – via http://sasstrology.com/2016/08/how-each-zodiac-sign-approaches-a-first-date.html
Also worth reading is this article on relationship dynamics:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201509/the-dynamic-thats-poison-any-couple
Your Capricorn comes across in what you’ve shared as being rather immature. He seems slightly trigger-happy when it comes to using the block feature. Blocking you without explaining why, then unblocking, then blocking again, blocking all over the place without rhyme or reason or a logical and practical approach. Had he been more mature he could have saved both of you a lot of trouble and personal pain by simply being straightforward. He comes across as someone who has issues which make him a ‘player’ of a different sort – one who plays childish games in relationships, thinks the problem lies with everyone else and can’t see how his behaviour bothers others and thus causes others to bother him.
It sounds as though something occurred on the date you had where he included his daughter and that changed his mind about being in a relationship with you. He was too cowardly to discuss things with you in an upfront manner and instead opted to say nothing was wrong when clearly something was wrong. Perhaps whatever put him off pursuing the relationship was something he feels you wouldn’t understand – it’s probably something very specific to him, personal to him. Maybe he didn’t like how well you got on with his daughter – people can be strange in what bothers them and puts them off a relationship. He didn’t want to upset you (or deal with you being upset) and in trying not to upset you he ended up upsetting you (but he still doesn’t want to deal with your upset).
I don’t think you have anything of which to regret, feel ashamed or embarrassed about. You did not lose your dignity, nor were you foolish. You were human, you followed your heart, took risks for a chance at love, and opened yourself up to the experience. You have been brave and wonderfully crazy in your bravery. Sometimes this pays off and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes all we are left with is a lesson worth learning – in this case it’s that this man isn’t right for you because he left you feeling very wrong about yourself.
The people worth loving are those who make us feel good about who we are and the way that we are. look forward to finding someone who does that and don’t bother holding on to someone who doesn’t do that other than to look back and see what it is you don’t need in a relationship. Some relationships we have are about showing us what we don’t need and want in a relationship – and the pain we experience helps us to remember that.
You’re a good person with good intentions – sometimes good intentions lead us into a bit of a hellish experience.
Cut yourself lots of slack, you’re a living breathing and sometimes bleeding human being.
If a friend of yours told you this story and asked you the questions which you have asked – what would you say to them? Say that to yourself and give yourself a big hug of understanding.
Take care of yourself!
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Thank you so much for your time and words in making me feel better, I appreciate it very much. I’ve been in a constant 2 week funk trying to get resolution with him or at least answers. Since my post here, he unblocked me and texted (2 nights ago) asking if I was still interested in being friends. I purposely waited 3 hours to reply.. Then we texted throughout the day yesterday but it was me consciously being upbeat/carefree and complementary which is what he originally liked in me but he was aloof, short (one or two word texts), infrequent and less than thrilled acting. I told him it was improbable to be friends since I’m blocked on every avenue, he said “You have my phone number and that is all you need and if you don’t watch it, you’ll lose that again too.. My social media doesn’t pertain to you” (we use to be facebook friends, TWICE, he friended, unfriended, blocked then repeated). Last night he accused me of being a player and serial dater because I had an innocent date around the time him & I originally met on facebook. He got cold, went silent during our conversation last night and I seen he was distracted “on now”on online dating. I just felt that there was no more use in wasting my time with him while he’s pursuing/talking to other women. I texted him good luck on there with a final text that said: “ f*ck you, f*ck you ignoring me and f*ck your blocks! “ I then singed into the online dating site and deleted my account that I originally opened to spite him. Of course, he did not text back and is still actively signed “on now” onto that site.
Needless to say, I’m doing a lot of personal examination on why I felt the need to resolve things with him, as if him wanting me was validation of my worth. I’m not like that, I’ve always been independent, strong-minded, never needed a man vs wanting one. I have no clue where that came from and definitely wanting to learn from it. The entitlement link you share was exactly him and I.
Today I feel a little sigh of relief, that I’m not in battle anymore.
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Hi, story ahead…
I feel like I’ve been the foolish in going crazy over a Capricorn. Twice. 4 Years ago I was briefly involved with a Capricorn but my need for security and knowing where I stood meant he deemed I was “crazy”, “deluded” and “incompatible” (Capricorns favourite buzzword).
I met this 50-year-old American last summer. His birth date is Jan 17. I couch-surfed with him for 2 days, and he came on strong. The situation and my long term relationship prevented me from taking things further, but there was a chemistry or something that magnetically attracted me to him.
We kept in contact over Whatsapp for months, even as going as far as texting over Xmas and new year (maybe I read too much into that) but his infrequent replies and the long distance made things extremely difficult for me as I would mull and obsess over his texts and get frustrated on waiting on him.
He suggested that he’s come over to “fuck” me. I was sexually turned on by this horny goat. I thought it would just be that, a short term flirt or tryst and I naively thought we were getting closer over texts and bonding. We shared little jokes and links with each other. He did come over to visit me (which is a long travel and expensive) so in terms of action, it proved he liked me. Maybe I naively romanticized that? But we spent a few days in a hotel together, and our sexual connection was magnetic. He opened up and said he lived a “solitary life” and showed his vulnerability.
I even booked a trip to LA (whilst I was in NY) to visit him for 2 days. During that weekend, I said I needed to break things off with him. He seemed motivated and said he wanted me to have his children (and that privilege has only been given to his ex-wife of 8 yrs and his 1st gf of 10 yrs). He acknowledged there was a connection between us and we could potentially work as a couple but didn’t know how it’d work because of the distance.
I nudged him by saying I’ll do a summer teaching course in LA (which was double the amount of any other US center) so we could get to know each other.
And so…I spent 4 weeks living with him at his place. By the end of an exhausting, jet-lagged first week, he seemingly turned by threatening to kick me out after sleeping after coming back from school. He then gave a list of things I did wrong like not offering to make tea in the morning, helping around the house and showing general payback for his hospitality. Prior to the summer, I had asked how much I would need to pay his landlady, and he said $150. I gave that amount to him thinking nothing more of it cos I’m literal but caps want more, and more. He accused me of not being “open and generous” enough.
The next week and third week continued. He showed passion and affection during nighttime but distance in the mornings where he would like to just sit in solitude with his cat. The course saved me in the sense that I spent long hours away from having to hang out with someone I felt so rude and distant. This kind of thing makes me, who needs a grounded stance, question what the hell I was doing with this guy. We had a fight on the beach, he again threatened to kick me out of his house and out of his life. All because I asked him when I’ll next see him, and he said “I don’t know”. They give such unimpressive answers, but maybe I should have left it that rather than get emotional. I met everybody during that month, his family came over to visit, hung out with his closest friends and even hung out with his cleaner. His cat (his most precious friend of 13 yrs) was lovely around me too. When we had out second fight, he started saying the words “we don’t match, we’re incompatible etc etc” because I kept bringing up this important matter. It was showing signs of emotional instability to him. Actions worth more than words to him. We had fights but I always apologized (largely because i needed a place to stay) and I reached out by holding his hand and kissing him tenderly. He reciprocated.
We booked to go San Francisco together, I paid for the flights and he paid for the hotel. I made an active effort in doing the dishes and making the tea. When in S.F., again he was hot and cold, being affectionate and then distant. I got so mad at this I said I’ll explore S.F myself. This enraged him and he then listed another list of things he didn’t like about me. We made up (i thought) and hung out together again. For my final night in LA, we watched TV on the couch together. His cat was on top of me. He said “he knows you’re leaving tomorrow, that’s why he’s hugging you”, and I saw a little tear around his eyes and he was wiping one away though he still had the same stoic, serious demeanour. It was an indication that maybe he was sad I was leaving, or sad that he giving up on an opportunity….
The source of my frustration lay in the fact that he gave no indication about a future; when to meet next etc (esp. as we live in different continents ). We lay asleep that night, and for the first time ever, he didn’t have sex with me on my final night. So i told him direct: “I want to see you again”. He said “we;ll figure it out”. I thought about that vague response and asked “are you telling me that you’re not worth my time?” (he knows i value my time). There was a long pause then he said “yup”. I don’t know what to make of that. It might be because i’ve pushed him so hard, he had to say something mean or he secretly longed to say something different. it was pitch dark; i couldn’t see his eyes.
The next morning, we lay in bed looking at each other, holding each other but the biggest indicator was that he didn’t want to fuck and got up at his usual time to sit and read his emails. He hugged me and gave me little sweet kisses and was super jokey (this part of him that I love). I reiterated I wanted to see him again. He sighed (cos i was asking again) and said “what did I say…we’ll figure it out”. I had had enough and told him he needed to be the man and figure it out. he said “we’ll figure it out”.
I took my flight. Landed and texted him on whatsapp. I even sent an email saying I would transfer money to his account for the bills and sent a sweet message about where I’d be in the future (as we’ll both be in Asia over xmas). He hasn’t responded to either.
There was a while where i sent him a whatsapp, and he was online frequently but never “read” or responded to my message. I had thought he would at least check whether i landed or not. that’s what normal people do.
Is his ignoring of me an indication that he no longer wants to continue with me? is “we’ll figure it out” an optimistic or a way of not dealing with me being upset. I felt like I’ve invested time and money in seeing this guy. We both have, and my pride tells me it needs to count in some way.
I know I need to back off and BE PATIENT. but aquarians are not like that, plus we’re absent-minded which pissed him off.
What should I do?
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I’m sorry for everything you’ve gone through. Why the mind games from these guys? I don’t understand how they appear the most fabulous men then change over night. And, well, hell, I was called crazy (again) this morning while having casual conversation in texts and once again threatened that he’d block my phone number if I made him mad. He asked me to leave him alone, to put my attention/effort into someone/something else. When I said that I have a date tonight, he stopped replying. What’s with them not being responsible for their mistakes, or taking ownership of their share in what’s gone wrong. I’m Pisces and wear my heart on my sleeve, too caring and maybe too hopeful but his head games and power trips are getting old. I asked for us to see each other face to face, he said no. At what point do I just walk away and why am I subjecting myself to this treatment? We both admitted to having a wonderful connection before he pulled away and started this nonsense, so in my head I’m holding onto him reappearing as the wonderful/sweet man he was prior, or was it just a facade and this is the real him? I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t, nothing I do or say is good enough, I’m continuously walking on egg shells. I told him he’s pushing me away, he said that I just don’t understand.. my last reply was “I do understand, you aren’t interested in seeing/talking/knowing me anymore, I get it”.. he hasn’t replied since. If he doesn’t want me, why should I care and why am I taking it so personally? I promised myself to leave it alone, I’m moving on. I’m allowing this to ruin my sanity/dignity. I’ve really lost respect for him, and starting to in myself.
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sorry i’ve posted the same story twice cos i thought the first one didn’t go through.
It’s so touch cos when they’re affectionate and protective, it plays into my little girl needs and then he’s cold…
I’m angry at myself at wasting my time, youth and heck loadsa money on this guy.
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Well, I feel like a complete idiot; yesterday he encouraged that I date someone one, to divert my attention somewhere else instead of on him. Today I’ve texted, repeatedly downplaying any feel feelings, offering to be friends and haven’t gotten a reply. I hoped to have ended it cordially so that I can walk away with some dignity but rather it’s the opposite now. Wondering if I’ll ever hear from him again, or if he’s afraid of making contact in fear I’ll go text crazy again. I’m beside myself on how he can appear so connected/interested then not, so unexpectedly. His avoidance is making me crazy!
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Question – Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you engaging in these games with him?
From your description of him this guy likes to play games and not particularly mature ones. His ‘avoidance’ is an immature game designed to make you crave more of him while he continues to play the elusive part in this story of you chasing after him. It’s hard-to-get 101. In you he’s found a playmate for these rather bizarre games which amuse him.
You’re not really into this and yet somehow you’re into this?
I’m guessing that astrologically some transit is at work.
Have you been being too serious about life and relationships and needed an experience to loosen up the serious? Maybe you need to be foolish for awhile… just don’t expect this particular relationship to do anything but go around in circles.
It’s like you’re both teenagers experiencing hormones for the first time… maybe that’s something you need atm. You never know 🙂
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Hi anupturnedsoul, I know I questioned it too, why I was doing this to myself. I think I couldn’t handle the rejection, and in some sense desperate for companionship that he initially provided and hoped that it would return to the way it was. It’s been a constant battle, hot/cold game playing for 3 weeks and I have a headache, brain fog, emotionally drained and over it. I agree with you that he played undermining/power trip/immature games, as I’m currently blocked, again, but I’m okay with it. You’re also right, he found a playmate in me for his amusement. He blamed me for everything gone wrong, called me crazy, a player, a serial dater, untrustworthy and made me feel awful. I explained to him that I was going through a tough time that made me overly emotional the last few weeks of our relationship (was tested for colon cancer that ended up being negative) but he was unemphatic/not understanding, he didn’t care and detached himself from anything pertaining to me. Not sure it was logical but I tried to be friends, or at least cordial at the end, but it wasn’t possible with him. I was offended seeing him on online dating without giving me a chance, I am a pretty great woman despite his negative opinions. When I finally grasped things weren’t going to change, I stood up for myself, told him fuck off and to leave me alone, but that just made me crazier in his eyes. Question: Are Pisces & Capricorns generally incompatible? Do you think he’ll resurface again, or gone for good?… I’d like to be prepared either way. Thank you for time and advice. I wish I could blame my weakness/stupid’ness on an astrological transit.
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In Sun sign astrology Pisces and Capricorn are usually viewed as compatible, but Sun sign astrology is rather superficial – everyone born under a certain sun sign is viewed as being the same, which is a bit like saying that all people with blue eyes are the same. For intimate relationships you have to go into the natal charts of both individuals involved, and also look at how those charts interact – but even that doesn’t take into account fully that you are you and the other person is who they are.
When two people meet – two world collide. Two humans with all their human stuff crash into each other and mess ensues.
You can’t use astrology, especially not just Sun sign astrology, to figure out what is a part of the complexity of being human and being an unique individual, you certainly won’t get far understanding the complications of a relationship between two complex humans using Sun sign astrology.
What is personal can’t be generalised – however humans often think they can use generalisations, labels, categories, etc, to understand someone else, while we’re annoyed if others try to do that to us.
Much of whether he’ll ‘resurface’ again or not will depend on whether you want him to or not because some of his ‘resurfacing’ thus far has been down to things you’ve done to keep things active between the two of you. In some ways you have far more control over what’s been going on between the two of you than he does and so what you really need to prepare yourself for is more about what you might do if he doesn’t do anything and you can’t accept that and want more contact.
It’s interesting to note that in one sentence you say that you’re a ‘great woman’ and in the next you talk about your ‘weakness and stupidity’ – the conflict which you have with him about yourself seems to mirror a conflict which you have within yourself. And you got involved with him during a time when you needed extreme sensitivity and instead got extreme insensitivity.
Relationships are often a way for us to face our own relationship with ourselves and we make peace with ourselves by making peace with the conflict we find in our relationship with others – sometimes that peace comes form accepting that we’re messy and things are sometimes just a big old human mess.
Cut yourself slack and give yourself lots of sensitivity and compassion 🙂
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Where can I buy the sweatshirt 😀 (Cancer sun, Gemini mercury opposite mars & pluto)
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I met an American Capricorn last summer by staying on his couch. He was full on with me and directly told me he liked me. I wasn’t against doing anything with him as I had a long term boyfriend at the time and it would have been unclassy as I don’t do casual. We kept in contact over the next couple of months via whatsapp, it became frustrating waiting for him to respond and nothing in his messages were asking about my life but funny little links and a lot of direct references to f**king etc His interest seemed to be just sensual but then there were sweet little christmas and new year messages that pulled me in. He booked a flight to visit me across the atlantic for a few days. We had sex because we got on very well, he was romantic with me by holding my hand and he opened up and shown a vulnerable side so I thought there was something developing there. I was also flattered that somebody had even flown that far just to hang out with me. They’re investing time and effort so I was flattered and thought that it could develop from there. I started falling for him and visited him for a couple of days in the spring. He acknowledged that we had a push/pull connection because we were uncomfortable about the connection between each other. I asked him whether we’d see each other, he said he didn’t know how it’s work but we could potentially work as a couple etc etc as he saw how we cooked together and watched TV.
Fast forward to summer and I decided to do a summer course in LA (paying a lot of money) and requested to stay with him for 4 weeks. He said yes. I did ask how much to pay his landlady, he just said $150 and i took that at face value and was prepared to give that amount. He was injured when he picked me up, I went with him to the hospital. I always found out chemistry and conversation to be off as he would be silent for a while (cold, distant yadda yadda) which made me feel like he was ignoring me but then he showed me he was still interested by hugging me etc
By the end of the first week, I was feeling confused and neglected as he was ignoring me then I asked him what we were, am I wasting my time? he was angry at me for not offering to pay further rent, not being open and generous enough etc all these things he expected of me that he just needed to vocalize. We made up soon after but the week after that i asked him whether we’d see each other, he said “he didn’t know”, his lack of a firm answer made me mad and I gave him the silent treatment. And when caps get into rages, boy is it nasty…he told me to get out of his house, his life etc
Of course i didn’t need that with a stressful course. I told him I was developing feelings for him but the distance made it difficult. He was starting to dissect me (even when I was making wry jokes he thought i was being disrespectful etc). We made up after that. I hung out with his family his best friends, his cleaner, his cat etc and tried to make a good impression on them as I know they are important to him.
We traveled to san francisco together and had a good time (but again cold, distance), my poor, gentle nature was out by his bluntness and his seeming neglecting of my feelings. Again we had another argument, and then he stated how we we’re a match for each other, how we weren’t compatible (a word i dread) etc, which really disheartened me as we both invested so much time and money into each other. On our final night, he didn’t have sex with me (unlike the other 2 occasions where one of us was leaving), he just lay with me on the couch with his cat (his precious friend) He commented on how the cat knows i’m leaving tomorrow so is hugging me so he could see his little cat connected with me. I knew he was feeling a lot of emotion inside cos I could see tears around his eyes. We slept in bed together but he never made any sexual advances (major alert) so I told him directly: “I’d like to see him again”, he said “we’ll figure it out”
Was that a gentle way of letting me down as he had cared for me but could not see us working? or is that a positive indication because he’s still confused.
I fear my gentle nudge about him taking the lead in this might have finally out him off me as he has not contacted me once since I’ve been back home. I’ve emailed to offer a money transfer and suggestions of where we could meet up etc. He hasn’t contacted me on whatsapp (3 days) even though he’s been frequently online.
Does he need time/space so he’ll come back in his own time?
Is he purposefully ignoring me?
How does one interpret “we’ll figure it out”. In the past his texts have always been vague and not as definitive but always came through
I fear he’s made his mind up and didn’t want to deal with an emotional confrontation because he still valued me (he hugged and kissed and joked with me prior to my departure).
What should I do?
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
It sounds like “We’ll figure this out” means that this man wants to take his time to get to know you better because you’ve only just taken your relationship from casual to something less casual.
Online interaction is very different from in person interaction, so time spent getting to know each other online isn’t the same as spending time in each others company in close quarters.
He doesn’t want to rush into things, he wants to get more of a feel for how ‘compatible’ the two of you are – if he uses this word a lot then it means it’s important to him for the two of you to be compatible – before he makes more of a commitment.
He wants to let the relationship develop organically, go with the flow of it and see what happens.
He’s not in any rush to hurry the relationship process along. He wants to see where things lead on their own.
That would be fine if you were fine with that, but you’re not fine with it and that causes a problem for you and for him through you.
As much as you say that you like him you also seem to not like many things about him – in fact there seem to be more things which annoy you about him than ones which please you.
Why does his use of ‘We’ll figure this out” and ‘compatible’ bother you so much, they’re obviously things he likes to say because they express something about him and what is important to him. Could you stand it if you moved in with him and he continued to say those things and other things which you don’t like?
It sounds like he might have Mercury in Aquarius.
If you’re using astrology to figure out your relationship, or at least try to figure him out, then you need to go further than just Sun sign astrology and check out his whole chart, and then compare it with your own chart as the issues may be due to a combo between the two charts.
Take care of yourself!
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Thank you for your reply.
I only know his birth date and not the time so it’s difficult to do a full chart. There’s also the long distance factor too.
Alongside the “we’ll figure it out” bit, he said our experience together was fun 61% of the time, which to be honest, could be true of aquarius-cap pairings. Never fully incompatible but could still work.
In my email to him, I offered to pay him for the weeks I stayed, gave him locations of where I’d be for the next year and how I appreciated his efforts whilst I was there. He still maintained the “we’ll figure it out” and “61%” stuff. Now, I don’t know whether he’s still keeping me hanging in order to get money…dark side of caps and all that.
Very confused.
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I can tell you’re confused. In fact when you said he was confused I thought that was more a case of transference because he seems (according to your description of him) to be pretty clear about you and him.
Some of your confusion is stuff you’re doing to yourself which you have the power to sort out. You’re worrying about things which you could also choose to not worry about.
If you’re worried that he’s after you for you money then take ‘money’ out of the relationship equation and see what he does.
The ‘after you for your money’ thing isn’t exactly the ‘dark side’ of Capricorn – the dark side of Capricorn tends to be miserly and stingy about their own money (so things like him being a stickler that you pay his landlord – that!) – people being after you for your money is the dark side of people in general and not zodiac sign specific.
Stop offering to pay for stuff, stop making your money something that is on offer. You gave him plenty of opportunity to claim money from you for this and that, he’s dithered about it and so the due date is now well past its due. He missed his opportunity, let’s see how he handles that. If he’s a typical Cap about money, he’ll grudgingly admire you for playing hardball about finances. Most of the Caps I know hate taking money from others unless they’ve earned it.
Anything that’s bothering you, which is personal to you – you have control over it and how it affects you – so take control and do something about it.
Just make sure you are fully aware that you can’t control him and anything that is personal to him – who he is as a person is who he is a person and since you’ve mentioned that he is in his 50’s, he ain’t changing for anyone! Once a person reaches their 50’s they’re pretty much going to be who they are as they are and if others don’t like it – they’ve paid their dues where other people not liking who they are as a person are concerned and have learned from experience that the only person you can please is yourself, and that can be difficult at time too!
61% compatibility is pretty good!!! unless you’re a perfectionistic idealist in which case you might as well give up on relationships because they’re very messy things when they involve humans (who are messy beings) and rarely ever 100% on anything.
Aquarius is a pretty chill and awesome sun sign – I’m curious about your Moon and Mercury because you seem to be after precision in your life and set goals, which isn’t a particularly Aquarian thing.
I wonder if his Merc is in Aqua and yours in Cap – that would be interesting!
You can pretty much check out his whole chart without knowing his birth time or even his exact birth place (although knowing his place of birth is worthwhile since you want to have a relationship with him and knowing about his history is part of that).
There are some anomalies in what you’ve said which are curious.
It’s almost like you want this man to give you a long term plan for your relationship even though you’ve only just taken things from casual to a little less casual, and he’s sensing that you want that from him and doing his best to thwart that because you’re going too fast and he wants to slow things down – he’s of the Pluto/Uranus conjunct in Virgo generation, he’s a rebel with a rather complicated personal cause. Sounds like he’s testing you and you don’t like the way he’s doing that because it’s forcing you to go to places within yourself which require comfort and the discomfort is making you squirm… but the adventurer in you rather loves the challenge!
Sometimes the things which are compatible aren’t half as deeply satisfying for a relationship as the things which are incompatible – as through relationships we grow 🙂
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I’ve been burnt before by a Capricorn. There’s something about them that brings out such a discomfort that no other can! Is that star-sign related or just the individual?
I know his place of birth but how could I go about exploring birth charts? Know of a good site?
Much of it stems from not knowing our status. I’m really into stability/security (I’m a Feb 3 Aquarian so hardly on the cusp). I know Caps have a determination when they want something but he was the one who flew 5000 to see me. Surely, no sign/person is that desperate for a hook up unless they genuinely liked the person?
Thanks again for your blog. It’s open up a new insight for me and I’ve understood myself more from this experience, regardless of what happens with me and him.
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*5000 miles
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I think that making people uncomfortable may be a Capricorn thing. The ruling planet of the sign is Saturn and in astrology wherever your natal Saturn is tends to show where you have an inner and outer struggle connected to restriction/limitation, and a Saturn transit to your chart is considered tough as it often creates a situation which requires stern self-examination.
Saturn strips away the surface veneer in search of what is real and authentic. Capricorns sometimes have that effect on people, more often due to their silences which other people find disconcerting – the discomfort comes partly from a compulsion which people have to fill the silence (and silence the silence) because in the silence all their inner insecurities and anxieties come bubbling up. If I had a penny for every time someone imagined that during a silence I was thinking terrible things about them when I wasn’t thinking about them at all… but you can’t tell someone that you weren’t thinking what they’ve convinced themselves you were thinking, and telling them that you weren’t thinking about them at all upsets their ego.
Being around a Capricorn tends to upset the egos of others because Capricorn does not cater to the egos of others. Never ask a Capricorn what they think of an outfit you’re wearing if you’re unsure of how you look and are in search of reassurance because they’re not going to tell you that you look lovely if they don’t think that you do. However if they do tell you that you’re beautiful, you can usually trust that they’re not flattering you for the sake of ego, and that they genuinely think you’re beautiful.
Capricorn is a sign which tests your mettle, and individuals of the sign will test you to see what you’re made of, what lies behind your social veneer – they do this both deliberately and unconsciously. It’s a Saturn thing. Their presence can make people come out in a rash of insecurities and ego issues – the things which people accuse Capricorn of being tends to speak far more about the issues that person has with themselves (and therefore projects/transfers onto others) than of the Capricorn themselves.
In your case your insecurities are connected to stability and security and this Capricorn is bringing those out for you. You want him to reassure you, to silence your anxieties, and it bothers you that he hasn’t done this for you – but he can’t do for you what you have to do for yourself. He could tell you that he wants to settle down with you, that he loves you and will look after you forever and ever, but chances are that won’t silence your worries about your future. Our issues always find a way to express themselves until we learn to deal with them ourselves, and relationships often stir them up big time.
Astrology is quite helpful for understanding others, but also for understanding yourself, and your interaction with others – all of us have all the signs within us, so it might be an idea for you to check out where Capricorn is in your natal chart and what’s going on in that sign (perhaps you have Neptune there – Neptune can cause confusion).
The best site for astrology information and tools to help you learn more about your chart is Astrodienst – http://www.astro.com/ – they have loads of free tools to explore your chart. One of the most useful for starters is the Astro Click Portrait.
From everything you’ve shared about this man it sounds like he likes you and would like to get to know you better, but his style of relating is different from your style of relating or at least his style isn’t the one which you want him to have to suit you (and you’re both repulsed and attracted by that difference).
Sometimes relationships aren’t about getting the happily ever after, they’re about what happens when we interact in the moment. What they open us up to, what they stir up for us, what we discover about ourselves and others through meeting and sharing ourselves.
You’re obviously a wonderful person, why wouldn’t he travel 5000 miles to be with you!
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You’re my favourite person right now as you give such good advice and demonstrate such an understanding about astrology that is personal and productive to a lot of other commentators’ lives and troubles.
The feedback I’m getting is that he’s stringing me along with the “we’ll figure it out” business as Caps usually go for what they want. Suddenly he backed off and has ignored my message apart from 1 email. You’re right, I definitely have an issue with security and stability.
I’ve found that I have have venus in capricorn whereas he has venus in aquarius…
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Your respective Venus’ go a long way to explaining (at least astrologically) the attraction which you have for each other and also the problems which are arising from that attraction. You need to also look at your respective Mars to get the whole picture of the attraction (and the reverse of attraction). Venus and Mars complement each other in a relationship scenario viewed through astrology.
Venus in Aqua seeks the unusual and runs from the ‘norm’. Venus in Cap tends to seek the ‘norm’ and run from the ‘unusual’.
I use ‘figure it out’ all the time – I have a lot of Virgo in my chart which tends to need time to analyse and ‘figure stuff out’. I don’t use it to string anyone along. I just hate being pushed to make a decision if I haven’t got all the info to make that decision. If someone pushes me to figure something out when it’s not ready to be figured out I’ll wonder why they’re in such a rush, and I’ll slow down even more to figure out why they need me to figure stuff out so quickly.
Your Cap is of the Pluto/Uranus conjunct in Virgo generation (you mentioned that he’s 50), this generation likes to ‘figure things out’ at their own pace in their own way. Ditto for Caps. Venus in Aqua – push them to conform to some ‘norm’ and they’re gone, the way to lure them in is to take an unusual approach to love.
Astrology aside… want someone to reply to your texts, emails, social media pokes and prods then make your communication with them something fun and not something burdensome. Use your natural empathy – what makes you most likely to enjoy communicating with someone else?
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I’m afraid I’m going to have to go the way of many women who have dealt with Caps.
I emailed him the amount I would pay him back for his guest this summer, as well as a logical assessment of us and how we could work with a few warm messages about his friends and family.
He has been on Whatsapp but not replied to me at all. I told him to keep in contact on my final night, and he said “I’ll know where to find you” (doesn’t sound great does it…)
What I find sad is that I spent a year messaging him, flying to see him, accomodating him, meeting his friends & family and knew that he cared about me and he said I was beautiful. Granted, it’s only been a week but I feel distraught & confused by his actions here 😥
I even commentated in my email: actions more than words. It’s their motto.
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The thing which stands out for me in what you’ve said is – ‘it’s only been a week’ – a week is like nothing at all, it’s like a minute passing. I should probably mention here that my sense of time is Pisces/Neptune influenced (and drives people crazy… I often say ‘the other day’ when talking about several years ago).
I do get your frustration with him – you want a relationship here and now which is structured and well-defined by logical parameters. You want him to put a ring on it. While he wants something floaty and ephemeral which lasts yet is Gaussian blurred. You want to tie him down to a specific schedule and he wants to be footloose and fancy free.
Frankly sometimes when you talk about him and you, he comes across more as an Aquarius and you come across more as a Capricorn in stereotypical perspectives of those signs. Perhaps your Venus signs are strong in this relationship – maybe they conjunct your respective Suns and are a major influence in your relationship dynamic.
You might find reading this helpful – http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/capricorn-woman-aquarian-man/ – it’s from a rather interesting astrology blog. In this case you sound like the Cap and he’s being the Aqua.
He obviously thinks you’re awesome and you obviously really like certain things about him, but if it’s not right then it will never become right because for it to be right for you he has to change and if he changes then he won’t be the person who lit a fire in your heart.
The actions more than words thing flows both ways and can be interpreted in more ways than one. Your impatience with him is an action which speaks louder than you telling him how patient you’ve been with him.
Sometimes things just don’t work even when there is so much that makes it something which we’d like to work.
WHy didn’t things work out with the person you were with when you met your Cap?
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Here was his startlingly brutal reply (I guess Caps don’t forgive and forget but he comes across as so irrational.
1. My landlady has been taken care of. I, however, had to withdraw $3,000 to cover my credit card bill for the last month.
3. I won’t be doing any traveling any time soon. See #1.
I apologized for “letting him down” and whether we could be friends. Do you think that has a chance of persuading him? Even if there’s nothing romantically, he’s still a great guy and we could’ve been friends. I’m astonished everything is so over, abruptly.
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His ‘startlingly brutal’ reply is fairly typical for a Capricorn who thinks you’re not listening to what they’ve said and keep saying to you. Caps get very blunt (which others experience as ‘brutal’) when polite doesn’t get them heard.
He’s fed up of discussing this matter with you, that does not mean that he’s fed up with you.
What was #2?
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He explicitly said that a woman for him is one who “can’t be a pain in the ass. Ever” which is so unreasonable as everybody cannot find the perfect one.
Unfortunately during my time with him, I kept bringing out status and just deeply resented his seeming disinterestedness in me (which might just be the distance that Caps convey)
Ultimately, I was just confused and impatient and I supposed I need somebody more direct and straightforward. He was quite direct when I first met him so I assumed he’d always be like that…
I sent him a message just to be friends, have a drink as well as a funny video about Gordon Ramsey. His reply was explicit: “Gordon and I have 2 things in common: You want to f***k us and we both make a proper risotto;
Now, I’m confused. I don’t know whether he’s ignored me and had me repeatedly apologizing to retake his control. He clearly took on board my email that he ignored, as I was sincere in mentioning how I enjoyed cooking risotto with him and out homey nights in together…..
Or if he’s just officially done but doesn’t want to tell me he never wants to see me again.
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It doesn’t sounds as though he’s ‘officially done’ he’s just after something more casual, flirty (hence the Gordon Ramsay thing), and offbeat when it comes to a romantic relationship (Venus in Aqua likes a very unusual type of relationship), he’s not in a rush to make things ‘official’ and tie himself down, he might never be, and this isn’t what you’re after or want so his style is confusing you because it’s not a style which suits you.
It sounds like what he wants is someone who likes him the way he is and accepts him as he is, who doesn’t want more from him than what he’s willing to offer, and is happy and comfortable with things that way.
I wouldn’t say that it was ‘unreasonable’ for him to want a woman who won’t be a pain in his ass ever – this is just him expressing his ideal. I’m sure you don’t want a man who’ll be a pain in the ass to you either. It does seem like this man is a bit of a pain in the ass for you, his way of being seems to drive you nuts and not in a manner which makes you smile with love.
I would say that you’re the one who is officially done (the way you talk about him doesn’t seem to have any affection, it’s mainly annoyance) but for some reason you’re reluctant to move on and are hoping he’ll do the honours.
You’re at an impasse.
Perhaps this was one of those encounters which acts as a bridge to somewhere else 🙂
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After reading your reply, my thoughts were that your reply was or should be very helpful to the person struggling to understand. I have been quietly reading through all your observations and following replies.and they have definitely helped me in understanding my cap GF who is currently being held in prison. I have been writing to her with great care as to what I should say, a little humour ( well a lot actually) some romantic stuff, some serious and boring stuff. Mainly though offering her upon release much support with housing,health,financial. I found that it was these grand gestures that really appealed to her( they probably would to anyone actually) she never comments on the contents of my A4 size letters just thanks me for all that I have done and promised to do for her. I often say to her in my letters does my writing annoy you or do you think just leave me alone? The ratio of letters is about 8 to 1 sometimes I think I go on too much and perhaps she thinks I am some kind of nut case with nothing better to do. So I stopped writing for about a week then right out of the blue I received a letter from her asking me not to stop writing. So with all that, you have kindly taken the time to advise people about cap,s I found perplexing but it really helped me understand the quietness of my Gf. Thank-you
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
It sounds as though your letters to your friend are a lifeline for her and she deeply appreciates them, but she can’t respond to you as she might want to as her environment will make her feel the need to be extra careful and very guarded. Being in prison will require that she build strong barriers around herself to protect herself and those people and things which she cares about.
She can’t write to you the way that you write to her because she knows she is being watched and that her communication will be monitored. Capricorns in particular are very sensitive to giving away their secrets – which includes what really matters to them which someone else might use against them.
She’ll be even more quiet than usual now that she is in prison – don’t take it personally – she is locking herself up within herself to deal with being locked up within a place from which she can’t escape and must wait out her term.
Her request that you not stop writing, that you keep giving her such wonderful support and sustenance – hang onto to that during her silences. Your words mean more to her than she could ever express. When a quiet person speaks pay attention to what they say. When a Capricorn tells you how much you mean to them – it will often be subtle. The subtlety tends to speak of very deep things which are hard to find words for.
Right now you are the sun shining upon her warming her while she is in a cold and dark place. She may not be able to tell you how important your words and you are to her because she has to stay strong and that would reveal her soft underbelly. But her request to keep writing reveals it in code for your eyes only.
Best wishes!
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ahha, I think your so clever in working things out, I did think but was not sure that what is left unsaid was the prime feature,I too am very guarded in what I write knowing that another person is probably reading my letters.I really dislike that but have to bear with it because I felt that it was so vitally important to communicate how much I care and feel so sorry that she has found herself in such awful circumstances. Substance abuse is a dreadful complex disease for anyone but and its a big but worse for capricorns? if their lives have been harmed in someway due to the most appalling circumstances is this a weakness for capricorns? to escape from harm and shut normal judgment systems down then retreat into another world supported by a substance? Finally I did find this a little bizarre I have been sending her new clothes ( great because I get to choose what I think she will like my score is around 6 out of 10 likes) underwear etc puzzle books,colouring books,stationary most of the things she used to like. In one of the few letters that she wrote said that she appreciated all that I have done the puzzling aspect for me was have I done too much or not enough? I felt that what I had done was pretty basic stuff so I must admit I found it difficult to read between the lines on this one.Definitely finally now, thank-you so much for your comments on silence. I think I get the part that you mentioned about locking herself away within to subdue her surroundings but how would she trust that our previous shared wonderful times together will return by saying nothing! That I find a little scary……..thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts they have been so very valuable and will help enormously a very special person get through her ordeal.
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If you’re looking for a disposition towards ‘addiction/substance abuse’ in an astrology chart… usually astrologers look beyond Sun sign astrology to other parts of the natal chart.
Neptune’s placement and aspects, particularly Neptune in hard aspect to Mars, is considered one place to look for answers regarding addiction/substance abuse. Chiron’s placement and aspects may be relevant. The 6th or 12th houses may be insightful to explore.
Addiction/substance abuse can be a difficult thing to pinpoint using astrology (or psychology or anything else) because it can be caused by many things within the psyche and may be caused by physical things. There’s so much we haven’t really understood about the basics of human existence.
Capricorns are not usually considered ‘addictive’ personalities. It’s a sign which prefers to remain in control. If the addiction is connected to maintaining control then perhaps it’s connected to the sign. But this is conjecture.
When facing a question like – Am I doing too much or not enough – then the answer lies within what feels right for you to do naturally. If it feels right for you then do it. Do things because you feel inspired to do them. Be careful about questioning what you do, especially in a ‘too much or too little’ manner, as this can cause something which comes naturally to become awkward for you.
A rule of thumb is – just keep doing what you’re doing as long as doing it feels right for you.
As for her response or non-response – there are many possible reasons for what she does or does not do. I reckon she may be wondering things which might surprise you – and might make you realise just how important what you’re doing is for her. She is probably uncertain of how you could care for her. She may not feel that she deserves everything you do for her. She’s probably expecting you to abandon her (especially if this is something all those she has loved and trusted have done to her – regardless of whether this is due to her behaviour or not) and is protecting herself against this expectation and subsequent disappointment happening.
Don’t overthink this – just be yourself as who you are naturally is your gift to her 🙂
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Thanks so very much for your reply that I found to be so perfectly accurate I am amazed at your precise insight into matters such great talent. I am now trying to create a new neural pathway into my thinking with a straight forward finger pointing directly at me rather than someone else. Without a doubt I would have blown this but for your help things changed. Particularly this week-end when I saw my Gf for the first time in 8 weeks ( 8 minutes by your time scale ha !) we had a two hour slot and I managed to make her laugh a lot but there was some serious stuff too. However, she cut short the allowed time saying that she wanted to go back to her wing for the reason that she was tired and did not get much sleep the night before. I,m not reading anything into this other than the truth, she is clearly not happy and restless. I will though continue to do the best I can for her.
As for your last paragraph well that went right through to the very heart of matters and I have no doubt whatsoever that your interpretation? Is very accurate I could not have thought of that in years. Thank-you so much for helping two people particularly my Gf. Best wishes to you
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TY ❤
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Hi all! I discovered this page a few weeks ago and I had to revisit it. WARNING: This is detailed. I’m a Taurus, May 15th, my crush is a Capricorn, January 9th I believe. I originally met him at work some months ago and had no plans on falling for anyone. But Within a few weeks my heart started to beat. He was so sweet to me, even took an interest in my old job working at a retail store that specialized in women’s handbags, like different colors, his body language seemed flirty at times, he would be playful with me, we would often hug when we would see each other, he even told me once that I “shine” after telling him I accepted him as he was, he might’ve been protective towards me after another co-worker of ours made some suggestive comments towards me even though his initial reaction over text was humor, plus he’s such a nice person to everyone. Obviously, during this time we were texting and a few times we would text back and forth for hours (I loved it). When I would want to tell him something over text, he would say to me to “tell me in person”. When I asked him what his middle name was in person at work, he said to me, “to ask him in person”. I said, “great, now I have an excuse to come see you”, to which he replied, “you already had an excuse to come see me.” However, if he ever acted distant towards me, of course my brain and heart would run marathons. After a month and a half of working together, he left for a new job, which broke my heart but i was happy for him. I remember the last day I saw him, I couldn’t get my last hug from him because of a work issue and he called me “Love” over text after I said I’d missed him before he left. We still talked on and off sometimes (normally I initiated it). When finally I felt so heavy that I just told him how that I liked him as more than a friend. What he told me was that he thought I was awesome and he appreciated me telling him BUT he wasn’t considering anyone to be his gf now (had a lot of stuff going on) and apologized. I was heartbroken to say the least but I gave back a quick response and said everything was okay. So many times I wanted to stop talking to him or thinking of him (even hating him), but sometimes he would pop back up. He’d text me out of the blue sometimes and we would talk for hours again. I tried to clear out what i’d said from the beginning and he understood. Fast forward to June, my coworkers arranged a party bus. I expected my crush to give me a courtesy hug and keep it moving but he did the exact opposite. He danced with me three times (technically four but I don’t count it), came to me twice on the bus, he even asked me if i was okay while at the club, like he cared for me, and said i looked amazing at the end of the night. I sent a flirty text the next day because I was feeling very bold and let’s say it involved emojis and his response was “Hahahaha. I had a blast.” Not the most expressive but not repulsed. Fast forward the next month, he makes a surprise visit to the hotel and I have big news to share with him. I really disliked my front office job and finally found a new job, at the same place he works now. He thought it was awesome and great that I took the leap of achieving my goals. He texted me the next day asking me again how did I get the job and why this place? Not for once, did I want him thinking that I was getting this new job for him. I’d been looking for a new job for months and saw an opportunity that I didn’t think I was going to get. So fast forward to when I start my new job and he seemed very happy to see me. He visited me at my desk twice and we would always hug and say hi like we used to but it’s not exactly the same as we don’t work in the same department anymore and often different schedules. This past week I haven’t been at my desk when he comes in so I miss him or I don’t see him when he comes in but only as he walks away but he sees me. I liked when he called my desk twice, though of course it was work related. I finally gave him this little keychain i got for him and he appreciated me giving it to him in person. I want to say that he has shared little things with me, maybe, I know that he thinks im funny, and I know that my brain is doing far more work than it needs to but I can’t help it. If he does like me, he still hasn’t asked me out and I can’t differentiate between him being friendly to me or more than that. He said he’d tell me a “good time” to go for drinks but it was a couple of months ago. I’m not sure if I mistook everything as interest when it wasn’t. So my ultimate question is, could he like me as more than a friend? Or could he like me solely as a friend and/or just wanted sex after I told him how I felt? I’m just looking for some advice. He’s had a previous long distance relationship before and it ended beginning of last year. I have no idea how it ended or who ended it. All I know is that one of our coworkers who was already working with him at that time said he seemed pretty sad.
I know that astrology doesn’t make up 100% of who a person is but if it can give me some insight it might help me. I’m under constant anxiety over this and I know I have to keep working on stopping it. Sorry that it’s a little on the long side.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
From the sounds of it this guy likes you very much as a person – which is an awesome compliment to get if you’re looking for a friend and a non-romantic type of relationship, however it’s not so awesome if you’re looking for more than friendship and closeness of a romantic kind.
If I was you I’d go with what he said to you about him not wanting a girlfriend at this time as a clear message that he does not want to get romantically involved with you. Whether he never wants to get romantically involved with you or whether that’s something he might consider later on is difficult to decipher. Each person is unique and therefore you have to figure things out factoring in their uniqueness. Usually if someone says – thanks but no thanks – when you make a pass at them and try to get closer it tends to mean that you’re not their type in that way. They like you but not in the way that you like them and would like them to like you.
It could be that he’s had a bad experience in the past, perhaps his last relationship hurt him deeply, and he doesn’t want to rush into a new relationship of the romantic kind at this time – but people tend to throw that kind of thought out caution to the wind when love overrules the rules they’ve made for themselves.
I’d say he loves flirting with you and keeping things friendly – which can be confusing if you associate flirting with something more than friendship. He likes having a flirty friendship with you. He likes the closeness the two of you have without the complications that come with more intimate closeness. He likes things as they are and doesn’t seem to want more than what you already have (which is why he was a bit nervous about why you had ended up working where he’s working).
That’s my take on it based on what you’ve shared. I have no idea if my guess is right or wrong as I don’t know him and don’t know his side of the story.
Usually with a Capricorn you can ask them straight up and they’ll tell you straight up how they see things. Whether you like their answer and accept it depends on you and your sign. Taurus is a logical sign – it’s a good match for Capricorn, both in friendship and otherwise.
Best wishes!
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Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time in giving me a nice, long response. I’ve found out a few things over the past couple of days and it seems like it’ll be unlikely this will be more than a friendship. Oh well! Thanks again!
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So true and all I see is a Capricorn advocating for itself.. For all its actions and behaviours .. That’s what we are forced to do .. We need to claims and post it on their faces that what we did was for a reason .. We need to provide explanations for all our deeds .. That’s so unjust..even for the minute actions, word we uttered are mistaken by all other signs .. The best is that a Capricorn is the only sign which best understand other Capricorn provided we r told tht the other person is a capri phew
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
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I meet a wonderful married Australian Capricorn and is true he put his emotions high I was a bit arrogant and never attracted he look for me google and found me one weeks of deeper conversation I told him what did he want since he is married and want a friendship bs for me. Just got divorced and was not ready to listen all he had offered me and still though he as a player I judged him and told him what I think. I think he was hurt and he stop sending emails and I missed. I got his phone number phoned and he told me off saying was a misunderstanding and wish best of luck that brokers my heart and that was it. Still thinking of him. Something that could happen but keep in long distance can happen. He will get separation from his wife soon I can tell and I feel and maybe a lost a great mature guy.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
It sounds as though you’re second guessing yourself and maybe you should trust the instincts you had about him which made you decide not to get involved with him.
A married man making contact with women on the internet isn’t exactly what I would call ‘a great mature guy’, he does sound more like a player, and the fact that he stopped talking to you after you told him what you thought shows that he can’t handle someone being real with him and is looking for people who will flatter his ego.
I think you were right to not get caught up with him.
You deserve someone who respects you and doesn’t play games with you.
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Just found out I am a Capricorn, I always thought something was amis with this Aquarius apparel, never fit quite right. I feel so much better now!
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
Welcome to the Capricorn club! I’m guessing you were born on the cusp of Capricorn/Aquarius. You might find this cusp zodiac amusing – http://www.tarot.com/astrology/capricorn-aquarius-cusp
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This brought a smile to my face, the quotes describe my youngest daughter to the T,
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Cool 🙂
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My second eldest daughter is a Scorpio, and my youngest daughter is a Capricorn, they both have a lot of the same traits, and are very close, they both share exactly the same sense of humour though, dry, outlandish, but always hilarious, I was wondering if this was common between Scorpio and Capricorn people.
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There does seem to be a natural compatibility between Scorpio and Capricorn. Both signs tend to be rather serious and intense, while also having a sense of the ridiculous which comes out in their humour – both signs tend to enjoy delivering their humour in a deadpan style so they appreciate it when someone else does it too. They like depth, straightforwardness, and strength of character in others – and both Scorpio and Capricorn tend to have those qualities.
However compatibility between people usually requires more than just their Sun signs getting along. Your daughters probably have compatible Mercury (the mind) and Moon (the emotions) signs, and their natal charts may have many harmonious aspects.
Beyond astrology I imagine they grew up in a loving environment which encouraged them to bond closely 🙂
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What a lovely reply, thank you 😸
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I pissed off my capricorn friend, asked him
Too many times about his health and stopped by at his door unannounced.He didnt answer so I called him left a text message.He neve answered or opened the door.Is he ignoring me or we are done.Its hurting me a lot that we were so good friends till thursday and nothing from Saturday.
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I sent him an apology after 16hrs and a text again a week later. I cant guess what is he going to do but I feel in my mind he is never going to talk to me ever. Pls advise what shoould I do now.
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I hope my reply to your original comment on another post helped clarify things.
You obviously care about this Capricorn, and your actions show that. Chances are he didn’t get in touch with you because he’s not feeling well.
Give things time to sort themselves out and try not to scare yourself by imagining the worst.
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Thankyou for your reply. I am virgo leo cusp very very choosy in making friends but once I am a friend doesnt want to lose them.I will ready to let go of anything and compromise to any extent so with a person like me he shutting me off like this kind of surprises me because I havent shown any attitude or arrogance so far but I am worried I suffocated him a bit.I left him alone willing to wait and see what happens.Thanks for your reply makes me feel lot better
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Capricorns and Virgos are usually compatible – both signs are particular about their friendships, yet very loyal once they’ve let someone into their inner circle, but getting into the inner circle can be difficult. Capricorns are a little bit more enigmatic than Virgos – you can usually follow a logical thread as to why a Virgo likes or doesn’t like you, with a Capricorn it may be a bit more mysterious.
Wait and see is a good tactic when dealing with a Capricorn 🙂
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Hi
I’m the Aquarius girl that had the confusing relation with a Capricorn man who lived across the pond, in America. So I gave him space and little messages and emails (maybe too much; a bombardment). He said ‘bye’ in his typical cold, final way. I tried to chase and apologise. I knew he read my messages on WhatsApp thanks to the little ticks, but i gather i was too insignificant to be responded to or even blocked. I recently sent a final email ( sent 3 previously!) stating how i do stand by mu comments of loving and supporting him and would like to be friends with him. Basically I’ve been as authentic as possible, thinking it’s the best policy rather than emotion.
I expected he would just ignore it. But I did it for me, to be sincere and say what I needed to and then accepted he’d probably discard it because he’s over me.
i also recently added MAILTRACKER, because i’m running my business. it revealed to me that not only he read my email, he read it 10 times. usually an hour or 20 minutes after each other. I have no idea what’s going on there because clearly he refused & refuses to communicate.
Is this even a Capricorn trait? I gathered when Cap men are done, they are done. So why 10 times?
I’ve recently met 2 Capricorn men. They are displaying traits of being practical and ambitious but so much more open. is it a case of other planets in play that make them different? I don’t understand this other man. He’s the literal brick wall. He’s been rude to cut me off and ignore me (though he’s not obligated to do anything as we have free will), but it seems I enjoyed his torture and woke up. He reads my messages, and it seems…obsessively.
Maybe some things can not be explained by simply starlings but other factors……
you’re blogs are so insightful; you’re a wonderful Cappie xx
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Thank you for sharing and updating 🙂
There are times when we just have to accept that we’ll never understand someone or something. There are times when something like being across the pond from someone is a giant rift in reality, meaning and understanding.
Cultural differences sometimes are a big difference between people and thus between Sun signs. At times they can be refreshing, new and exciting, they offer a different take on the usual, which may be very attractive if we’re bored of the usual (which an Aquarius often is), but at other times they can be frustrating, and suddenly the usual seems comforting and not so boring or unattractive.
A British Capricorn is going to be different from an American Capricorn because a British person is different from an American person regardless of similarities and connections between the two cultures – they may speak the same mother tongue but there are differences in how they speak that same mother tongue.
American men tend to be more emotional and thus more emotionally complex than British men. British men are more practical where emotions are concerned, thus they are more emotionally practical. They can be complex too but that complexity is one which is familiar to those of that culture and therefore is easily understandable.
British men tend to be more independent of emotional thought than American men – have you considered that the ‘views’ registered on your email may be due to your email receiver showing your email to others to get their opinion on what you shared? Perhaps he doesn’t know what to think and feel about what you said in your email so he’s sharing it with others to get their take on it and thus form his opinion based on their opinion. Americans tend to need others to weigh in on their relationships, British people tend to want others to butt out of their relationships.
When using astrology to understand a personal relationship you need to use more than just someone’s Sun sign (or your Sun sign) as relationships include far more astro info than just a Sun sign. Moon, Venus, Mars are all involved in personal relationship astro – a Capricorn with a Capricorn Moon is going to be far more colder and matter of fact than a Capricorn with a Cancer Moon. A Capricorn with Venus in Aquarius is going to be far more detached and escapist from the bonds of relationship than a Capricorn with a Scorpio Venus. A Capricorn with a Mars in Aries is going to be far more prone to pro-active relationship action than a Capricorn with a Mars is Pisces. Ascendant/rising sign also factors in as this is the ‘mask’ we and others wear publicly, it’s often more relevant than the Sun sign in how we experience others and how others experience us.
The typical Aquarian wouldn’t bother with an email tracker app, unless they have something like Mars or Pluto in Scorpio which might influence them to dig deeper and want to know more about what happens when they are in theory no longer in control. A typical Aquarian would have filed this Capricorn man under – no longer of interest – long ago, but since you’re still a bit ‘obsessed’ by him I’d say you have some Scorpio or other intense sign influencing your Aquarian Sun in this matter.
The starlings are always more complicated than we’d like them to be 😉
Best wishes on moving on from what sounds like a man who is too complex for himself let alone others who once found him intriguing and worth exploring 🙂
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Wow, this is funny. I’m an Aquarius woman in the same exact situation, without the email tracker hahaha. I did write him a letter telling him we could be friends, even though he was offensive when we broke up. He told me he had been very sick and sad. I was wondering if I should text him again or just forget about him and move on. But if yours didn’t answer I guess mine won’t either, and then it’s totally pointless. I read the answer of anupturnedsoul, and you’re supposed to wait for him to solve himself out first. It has been a month already and he hasn’t answered. Perhaps he doesn’t care about me anymore, we broke up because he was extremely aloof. I thought that instead of trying to figure him out and knowing what are we supposed to do to have a good relationship with them, we should ask ourselves if we really want a guy who does this kind of things. I know I don’t.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
This is an excellent point – “I thought that instead of trying to figure him out and knowing what are we supposed to do to have a good relationship with them, we should ask ourselves if we really want a guy who does this kind of things.”
And it works both ways.
Sometimes the way we are just doesn’t go with the way someone else is, and no amount of trying to understand each other is ever going to help us understand what is foreign to us.
One thing which struck me in your story was – “we broke up because he was extremely aloof.” – because in stereotypical astrology ‘aloof’ is a descriptive which often goes with Aquarius.
Signs which are nest to each other like Capricorn and Aquarius often have similar traits, but the sign which comes after is in theory an evolution of the sign before. The zodiac is viewed as a progressive growth from baby (Aries) to old wise man/woman (Pisces) – which does not mean all Aries are babies and all Pisces are wise. And we all have all signs within us – the placement of the planets shows us where our attention may be focused, what we’re hear to learn and teach, etc.
We can learn (and teach) a lot in relationships. Such as learning to know what we don’t want in a relationship – that’s important to know 🙂
Best wishes!
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I read your comment and did a bit of research. I misused the word “aloof”. The problem is that he was constantly going back and forth from loving to distant/aloof, and by distant I refer to him taking days to answer my messages, not calling me “love” anymore all of a sudden, being grumpy most of the time… I agree when you say that sometimes the way we are doesn’t go with the way someone else is. He was trying to figure things out and indecisive, and acting on his constantly changing mood which was rather depressive, while I needed a clear statement about what was happenning. When I asked him to tell me if something was going on/telling him I couldn’t go on like that, he went from upset to sad, from crying to insulting me. Finally he told me that I shouldn’t try to make him happy cause no one else can do anything about other person’s sadness. Talking about aloof, I think I lost a bit the interest every time he wasn’t that adorable and I pulled out a bit, and that might seem like inconsistent to him. Telling him how much I liked him and then telling him I was reconsidering being with him cause we were arguing every time he was in a bad mood.
So my interpretation after reading about both signs, is that he lost interest because he felt I was inconsistent, while I was debating with myself between staying or not because he was not being transparent and having to guess everything was driving me insane. At the end he apologized for this lack of honesty, saying that he didn’t text because he was sad about something else, and that knowing he was not that into me he kept behaving like he did because he was feeling lonely, though he was “seeing stars” when we both were in the same city. But again, he was crying and defensive when we finished, and it let me thinking whether he hates me, he loved me, or he’s absolutely indifferent. Maybe he was crying for something unrelated to me. And as somewhere I read, the typical Aquarius after a breakup is going to try to understand what happened, and will never understand.
Your description of British/American also helped. Thank you for such an insightful website, I’ve never seen something like this and I am learning a lot.
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Thank you 🙂
Tbh, him being sad all the time, and then crying, being defensive, would have had me running out the door and not looking back. He sounds like he has a very sensitive Moon, and may be going through a tough transit to the Moon. He does sound very confused and he may well not know whether he loves you, hates you or is indifferent – I wouldn’t take it personally, he has to figure himself out.
Sometimes even when you understand someone, why something happened, it still doesn’t make any sense.
Capricorns do tend to find Aquarians fascinating, but they usually can’t keep up with the speed of an Aquarius, they prefer to go slow which is very boring for an Aquarius.
I have Mercury in Aquarius and I find my Capricorn side slow and stodgy. I used to wish I had a different Sun sign, it’s only now I’m older that I appreciate being a Cap – we age backwards 😉
It sounds like you tried your best, now it’s time to do what’s best for you!
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Thanks for the time you took to answer, and for the answer itself. Somehow it gave me peace of mind. As you said, we all have all the signs in us. Perhaps I will take what I learned from him, make it part of me and move on. Aquarians have a lot to learn about stability from Capricorns. If I have to pick one lesson I got from him, it would be to take things slower, instead of falling immediately for someone I don’t know at all only to be dissapointed within the next weeks. I have Mercury in Capricorn! Maybe that can help 😉
Have a nice day!
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Thank you very much 🙂
Mercury in Capricorn is a great helper – it hones the mind, and gives strong powers of intelligent resilience.
Sometimes we are drawn to certain signs to activate that sign in our own natal chart, through our experience with them, we understand ourselves better.
Best wishes!
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And 4 years later, I finally decided to search for help. This is a never-ending story between a Capricorn male (Pig), and a Pisces female (Ox).
I am the Pisces female. I always seem to understand what exactly someone’s intentions are, unless I’m completely lovestruck myself – which I believe is the case here. It’s far more than just that. In him I see the answer to everything I have ever searched for.
But let’s start from the beginning. It is 2012, and I move to another country. I am looking for a job. I upload my CV to a website. Three days later, I receive a phone call and an invitation to an interview. I attend. He is kind, his eyes are green and intense, but his hands are skinny and I’m not sure about his voice. I think nothing more of him other than that he seems to be a really friendly person.
A week later, he hires me. I become the manager of his international department, which I am supposed to build up and expand. I am 27 at this point, and he is 28. I still don’t find him anything else but friendly for the first two, three weeks of work. With the time, I start noticing small gestures of kindness and trust – like inviting me out to a local festival (I was new in the country), or offering me candy straight from the palm of his hand – all the while staring into my eyes intensely.
By the third or fourth week, I am unable to resist his eyes and honest smile any longer. I officially declare to a friend of mine on a train that “this guy, I will never stop loving”. For no reason at all did I start to love this person like no other man, ever. It’s not logical, I didn’t even know him.
A week later I was at a friend’s house in yet another country, and he asked me over e-mail how I liked it over there. I said it’s cool and I like the carpets and everything. He said: Hopefully those carpets don’t fly because you look a lot like Yasmin and Aladdin could steal you for a ride without a seatbelt on, very dangerous. I asked my friend whether she thought that was a normal thing to say to your employee at 9 PM, but we both agreed it wasn’t. So here it was: The absolute certainty that the attraction is mutual.
A week later, I was on a couch wrapped in a blanket and watching the rain. We started texting, and he said he was in the exact same situation. The conversation ended abruptly at 2 AM – a behavioral pattern I would later accuse him of. It is as if he suddenly gets really emotional, takes me flying for a couple of seconds, only to suddenly return to Earth and let me drop on my face real hard somewhere in the desert.
So we have these little situations going on from time to time, but we are still absolutely professional otherwise and only our eyes tell a different story. He likes to study my reactions; he tells me he is currently getting to know a nurse (Virgo Snake). The days go by and we are moving towards the company’s 2012 Christmas dinner. My friend is a make-up artist, so I ask her to make me extra pretty that night. I text him I’ll probably be missing my bus, so he gets all the other colleagues in his car and comes to pick me up. His jaw drops when he sees me, and he can’t stop staring into the mirror all the way to the restaurant. In there, of course, we sit opposite of each other. We have some wine and stuff, and then we all go to this noisy club for a couple of hours. He’s staring so much it’s embarrassing. As we all get out of there, we walk towards his car and just all stand there and chat. Suddenly, him and I start walking, like without asking each other to walk or anything, we just walk off for no reason. I don’t understand why we walk or where we’re going, we just do. As we walk, I notice the neck of his jacket is not properly closed off. So I put my hands on him and correct his jacket, telling him he’ll have a cold. He goes: “At these heights, I do not feel the cold anymore”. I’m like: What does that mean. He just smiled, so I’m like: We need to talk. Now.
We hide next to a closed store with glasses. We don’t talk at all, we just stand opposite of each other, staring and shaking and finding it hard to breathe. Without wanting to sound crazy, this moment was so intense, it felt as if our souls had left our bodies and were getting married in the air between us or something. I couldn’t handle the situation, so I asked him: What do you feel? He says: I like you a lot. And you? I said I was feeling something unbearable. And then we kissed, probably in the purest and most angelical way possible. We ended up at his apartment, where we kept staring at each other for another hour or so before moving on to physical love-making. WARNING: Weird stuff ahead. He suddenly stopped my advances and asked: Have you any idea how many times I masturbated whilst thinking about you? From the very first interview with you, this had been my only way to control my feelings for you. I laughed and said jokingly: That’s gross! To which he replied: Why, I think it’s pretty sweet.
The next morning though, he said he would not consider continuing the relationsip because we worked together, and that two things would have to happen in order to continue with this: I would have to stop working for him and he would have to stop seeing the nurse. I didn’t care that much about the nurse as I did about our work relationship, and decided not to quit anything for the moment being. The situation turned, however, unbearable over the months. He would continue hinting and I would continue hinting and we would end up fighting and it all just turned into one big mess and drama – the exact thing he meant to avoid when he said we couldn’t be together if we worked together. He would take me out for lunch and say things like: Do you know why that fire extinguisher is hanging over our table? To extinguish our fire. It was torture. Hell. I had to take sick leave for three weeks because I was done. I became physically unwell and needed a break.
This type of situation obviously couldn’t last for too long. Our work relationship ended four months after the Christmas dinner situation. While packing up my stuff, he suddenly became another person. It seemed as if he was sticking to his promise of continuing with me if we quit working together. He said: You will not leave this country. You will stay here, and you will see how we end up marrying. I was like: Oh yeah? Then I went outside, and he followed me saying: I would give you five children. Will you come and see a basketball match with me? I declined because I was hoping he would ask again, sort of run after me after all the pain he had caused me. He didn’t. I moved out of the country and went on to have a long-term relationship and a wonderful baby daughter with a Libra man. I tried to talk myself into hating the Cap, but it only worked for so long. He started showing up in my dreams and he generally occupied my mind whenever I had a moment to myself. It was nothing, I thought, it was just a platonic love which I believed became a firm part of me and would stay inside of me until the end of my days. This dream shit went on for about three and a half years, and there was only one thing I couldn’t do if I didn’t want to lose control: Go back to that country. I had even been able to reply to the Cap’s birthday messages and keep in friendly contact with him from time to time, but I could not visit the country – even if it were the other end of it.
As destiny had foreseen, however, the Libra asked me to go on vacation to this exact country two months ago. I chose a spot at the other end of it, thinking I’ll be safe from my own thoughts, right? Wrong. We were there for three weeks, and I remained cold until day 16. Then – a dream, his eyes – nope, got up at 7 AM and did the unthinkable: It is so good to be back home. Still wanna take me out to dinner?
He couldn’t because I was only there for a few more days and visiting me there would use up the same amount of time as taking a plane to anywhere else. So he asked me to visit him in the city he had newly moved into whenever I wished. Then he changed his mind and said he would come visit me. But 2000 e-mails later, I ended up flying over 2 weeks and 2 days after returning home from vacation.
That was 5 days ago. I can’t believe only 5 days ago at this time I was boarding the plane. I asked him not to pick me up at the airport because I believed there must be better places for a first meeting after such a long time. I requested to meet at a temple, but obviously he is practical and thought I must shower and eat dinner first before we hit town. That alone shocked me; was he really telling me to go to his place and have a shower as if we were a couple? I obeyed and nearly exploded in the taxi from the airport to his place. I never thought a grown woman could get excited like that. I actually thought I was gonna faint the moment I was gonna have to face him. I rang the door bell, nobody opened. I sent him an e-mail asking where he’s at, but he said to just open the door and use the elevator since the bell wasn’t working. Talk about the longest elevator ride of my life. I walk to his door. He’s standing there. I turn and walk back, he calls my name. We fall into each other’s arms so much it hurts. We let go. He goes to the kitchen and starts frying up some steaks while I unpack and pack and unpack and pack my bag since I don’t know how to behave. The awkwardness only lasts for 2-3 minutes though, and chemistry quickly takes over. I realize he’s made a salad, which I find cute. We sit down and almost immediately start digging up stuff from the past. He talks openly, so I believe I can be open, too. I tease him jokingly, for instance by telling him that he caused me nightmares over the years since I had been dreaming about him a lot and processing everything that had happened. He didn’t take that lightly, although he kept it to himself until the next day. He grabbed his guitar and said he’ll compose me a song. It went something like this: I love you and I always will. Now I won’t give you five children anymore, I’ll give you ten instead. So, I’m still struggling to come to terms with seeing him, so I’m nervous and I grab a drink and let lose, telling him all I’ve suffered because we never actually got together. He starts massaging my feet. He goes: If we ended up sleeping together tonight, what would happen to you if it didn’t end in a relationship?
That shocked me. He started saying he couldn’t be with no-one because his parents split when he was young. I went like: Why don’t you just see what happens, and that’s it. Let it flow.
The next morning, he made breakfast and as we sat at the table, he started crying. He said I need to leave immediately. He said he is deeply emotional and cannot stand the fact he hurt me in the past. He said he needs to be alone. I said: You know what hurts me and always has? This ice-cold rejection of yours, be it for the job or for whatever other reason. Why would I leave right now??? You are crazy. You hurt me in the past, but I am telling you openly about it because it doesn’t hurt me anymore. I was expecting this to be a fun meeting where we are capable of laughing about old shit together.
Not him, though. He started saying I accuse him of all sorts of stuff and he really doesn’t like that because he never hurt me on purpose. He said he doesn’t feel anything for me. Just like that. Nothing. Attraction? Yes. Feelings? No. I called a friend crying, I needed someone to pick me up from there. He hated that and said come on, let’s talk. We decided that it were best if I booked the next flight home. I did. I stayed at his house until I had to go to the airport. He made multiple attempts to hug under a blanket and watch a movie and kiss my forehead, all the while saying that he feels nothing but attraction for me. I completely distanced myself from him and didn’t let him touch me for the rest of the time. He was stuffing me with food while I lay alone, as in cooking and serving me food which I didn’t want. I wanted nothing from him.
He called me an airport taxi and paid for it upfront over the phone. He did not switch the lights on and he did not get up to say goodbye to me. I said this was the last time we saw each other. He still didn’t even get up or switch the lights on. Maybe he was crying, I don’t know. I kissed him on the cheek and left.
All I want to know is whether he has feelings for me or not. I mean how could I possibly be so wrong? He says he doesn’t but I must say he gives a very different impression. Half a year ago, he left his nurse girlfriend of four years because she was obsessed with me. How she knew about me? He told her. Whatever. I told him he would not see or hear of me again. After all, he was able to look into my eyes and say he feels nothing for me. Nothing at all, other than simple attraction. When I think back to the situation at the glasses store, it is simply not possible he didn’t feel anything. Four years later, last weekend, things were a little different and intense and awkward, obviously. But the chemistry was the same. And so my question is; am I crazy when I believe he feels, even though he says he doesn’t with a completely straight face? Is it normal for a Cap to just behave that way all along without feeling anything? I might be idealizing him, but I’m not insane.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
In answer to your question – am I crazy when I believe he feels, even though he says he doesn’t with a completely straight face?
Going by what you have shared of your relationship, what he has done and said, I would say that he does indeed have feelings for you, so you’re not crazy about believing that he does.
As to the nature of those feelings, whether they are lust, desire, passion, love, for that you would need to delve into the rest of his natal chart rather than just look at his Sun sign. The Moon sign will tell you about his emotional nature, how he nurtures and is nurtured. The signs of Mars and Venus will tell you how he approaches attraction and being in love. Saturn is also worth looking at when you’re dealing with a Capricorn as it is the ruling planet of the sign and if it aspects his Moon, Mars or Venus it will bring certain restrictions to his expression of love and passion.
If you’re using astrology to understand a person, a relationship, you need to dig deeper than just the Sun sign – this includes looking at all of your own natal chart too.
It’s also worth pointing out that Pluto has been transiting the sign of Capricorn for awhile and squaring transiting Uranus – many Capricorns have been acting out of character and going through intense personal changes. It could be that seeing you again after all these years resolved something for him, tied up a loose end, brought him closure. He had feelings for you, ones strong enough to cause problems for his previous relationship, but maybe his feelings have now cooled – he might still be drawn to you but no longer in the way that he once was. Something has changed in your dynamic for him.
A Capricorn can switch off their feelings suddenly if they notice something in the person for whom they have feelings which alters their perspective significantly.
His decision not to pursue a relationship with you while you were working for him is typical of a Capricorn’s practical approach to business and relationships. His laying out of what had to happen before you could officially enter a relationship is also fairly typical of a Capricorn. He has a set of guidelines which are important to him and he is not going to stray from them no matter how strongly he feels.
Capricorns usually do not like drama and mess in their relationships, particularly if they’re serious about the relationship and are considering a long term commitment. His respectful behaviour towards the nurse and wanting to do the right thing by her, ending his relationship with her before entering into one with you shows that he is someone who tries to do the right thing in a relationship and doing the right thing is very important to his sense of self.
If you’re still in a relationship with your Libra and therefore were in a relationship when you went to visit your Capricorn most recently – this is something which might have made your Capricorn decide to back off and change his mind about the future of your relationship and his feelings for you. How people behave with others with whom they are in relationships tells you a lot about how they will behave with you – if you abandoned everything and everyone to visit him, to be with him, as romantic as that may seem at first, right out of a Hollywood fantasy romance, it is also rather worrying for someone who is practical in relationships. He may have envisioned you leaving him in the same way as you left your Libra because some dream lover somewhere else called for you to come to them.
Capricorns tend to be loyal and steadfast in their feelings, once they love someone that is usually a love that will last, it can take them a long time to decide if they love someone but once they make that decision it usually isn’t one they change quickly however certain things can kill that love in a second – witnessing disloyalty in someone they love is one of those if that disloyalty goes against their personal ethical guidelines. This is a strange quirk that a Pisces would find difficult to understand because Pisces tends to be very forgiving of the vagaries of human nature and always focuses on the best, the ideal, the dream version of life and people. Pisces tend to be more nostalgic than Capricorns and can live off a dream. Capricorns tend to see stark reality and often see it as bleak.
But a lot will depend on the rest of the natal chart of a Capricorn Sun and how their chart interacts with yours.
In answer to your question – Is it normal for a Cap to just behave that way all along without feeling anything?
All Capricorns are not the same, just as all Pisces are not the same – all people are different even if they have similarities with others like a Sun sign. And as mentioned above there’s a whole natal chart to look at if you’re using astrology to understand someone.
For the feeling nature you need to look especially at the Moon, what sign it is in, what house, what aspects it makes. Someone with Moon in Aquarius will experience their feelings differently from a Moon in Leo, a Moon in Taurus will express their feelings differently from a Moon in Scorpio. Looking at his Moon and your Moon will tell you more about how your feelings interact and blend.
Also worth looking at is the 4th house as this is the house of home, roots, family. The 7th house is also good to look at as this represents personal relationships.
The rising sign/Asc is also worth looking at because this shows the ‘face’ which a person presents to the world and is often far more useful to explore than the Sun when you’re trying to figure someone out and get to grips with their behaviour.
Capricorns overall don’t tend to bother with pretending to feel something which they don’t feel. They do have a tendency to deny their feelings, especially if their Moon is in a reserved sign like Moon in Capricorn or Moon in Virgo, or if their Saturn makes a hard aspect to their Moon.
It sounds as though you’re star-crossed lovers.
You might find this astrology blog – http://www.elsaelsa.com/ – a good place to get more info, the astrologer who runs it answers relationship questions, and there’s a great forum with knowledgeable people on it.
Best wishes!
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@anupturnedsoul – thank you for your kind answer. I am returning because – funnily – exactly one year later he is asking me to come around his house again, which is in another country. We have not spoken for an entire year, and now he suddenly goes: “Well, you should just come here because you know I am the most unpredictable thing”. Oh, yeah?
So I decided to play him well, and asked whether he thinks I should bring my crystal ball (you know, for the unpredictable thing). When he said yes (all nauseatingly hihi haha), I told him that my crystal ball is telling me that the reason he is asking me to go is because he learned to play a particular song on the guitar and wants to show me. He answered that this is true, and that he’s added his own touch to the song as well though he will still need some more practicing. So in response I just asked: “223?” – as in: “apartment number?”, and he said: “Yes, good memory.” (still all nauseatingly hihi haha). That should have left him squirming for the rest of the weekend, thinking I was about to knock at his door as I never texted again.
Now, instead of showing up, I ordered him a pack of guitar picks on Amazon and had them nicely wrapped up in gift paper with the message: “Keep practicing.” — which I believe gives the impression of wanting to sound like “keep dreaming” — and had it shipped to his house for Monday morning. And I must say, I haven’t heard back from him as of now 😉
Any good? Thoughts? Do you reckon he got the undertone at all? Or is he just disappointed at me for not showing up and, therefore, won’t thank me for my gift?
Thanks again and best wishes,
pis*ed Pisces Ox.
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Hi,
That is a beautifully clever gift and way of expressing yourself and replying to him. You have a wonderful flair!
Will he understand the subtle message within the gesture? Maybe. Maybe he’ll write a song about it and thank you that way.
He will probably be disappointed that you didn’t turn up at his door. He rubbed the lamp and the genii (that’s you) should appear when he does that. He’s the only one allowed to be unpredictable! However he might also be a bit relieved because the reality is never as good as the dream for a dreamer. He is in love with the fantasy of you, or more to the point, he’s in love with the fantasy of himself impressing his fantasy version of you with his fantasy version of himself. He wants you to go to him, hypnotised by his call, charmed by his invitation, fascinated by the mystery that he is, and lie at his feet in rapt admiration, worshiping him like a god, while he plays his lyre. If you turned up at his door… what are the chances that you would actually do that? And he probably knows that.
Enjoy yourself, and take good care of yourself!
Best wishes 🙂
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Hi,
Thank you for answering. I won’t be hypnotised by his call again this time round because there are so many things which irritate the hell out of me:
1) His calling me by my surname. Like, say my surname was Wilson, then he’d go like: I don’t think so, Wilson. Or: That’s unbelievable, Wilson! I do realise he calls his female employees by their surnames, too. He never calls his male employees by their surnames, ever. This is something I remember from when I worked at his office. I find this offensive, but I’ve never told him because I figured it must be some way of expressing friendship for him. He only ever calls close female employees by their surnames, say, those whom he considers to be almost friends. He didn’t do it with more distant workers. So, back in the day, I kind of formed part of the ”Ring of Trust”.
Now, I haven’t worked at his office since 2013, so I don’t understand why he can’t just call me by my name. He only ever does that when a conversation gets serious, or when he’s angry, or when he’s not sure just how distanced I am feeling at the moment. You can be sure though that whenever the ice breaks, he’ll call me by my surname again. As someone whom he’s slept with, I find this extremely strange. Maybe it is his way of marking a distance. Two days ago, I got so annoyed that I called him by his surname right back at him for the very first time (and I’ve known him for 5+ years). He hasn’t spoken to me since;
2) He expects me to run after him. He expects me to go to his city/country when he calls, but when I invited him to visit me here, he just went: I don’t think so, Wilson! It’s way too cold up there!
Cold? Is that even a respectful excuse? Just say No, for goodness’ sake;
3) He’s stingy. I don’t believe that ”cold” crap, or even that he doesn’t want to see me at all. My intuition tells me he’s too tight to spend 59,99 on a ticket. Hell, on our first date in four years, one year ago, he served up tap water with dinner. His argument was he’d stopped buying water when someone told him that tap water was perfectly fine. Don’t you just buy a box of juice for someone who’s just flown in from another country for you? Even I brought a bottle, and a couple of bags of candy, which he proceeded to carefully hamster away in his kitchen cupboard. I suspect for his mother, or nieces. When I pulled them out the next day, his eyes widened like I was about to burn his flat down or something;
4) One year ago, he said: ”Attraction yes, feelings no”. When asked why, he said I’m not his type. That’s just mental. I wouldn’t even know what to say to that, other than why he would willingly admit to being unable to stop masturbating at the thought of someone who’s not his type. Shut up, kiss her, bed her, be happy, repeat. Why, oh why so immature;
5) He doesn’t admit to what’s already come out of his mouth, making me feel like I’m imagining shit. Like, one day he says we’ll end up marrying and have five kids, and the next he says it was a joke or a ”linguistic misunderstanding”.
No, man. You said: ”I would give you five children”, all the while holding five fingers up in the air in the middle of the street and choking back tears. No misunderstanding there. I even told him if somebody saw us argue, they would be on my side. He totally insists they would be on his side;
Now, either he’s crazy or I am. I can’t even believe all this is happening to me… Until next time when I start making up excuses for him like he’s only shy or something. Poor baby.
I just genuinely believe there is something between us, though he insists I’m imagining it all. Maybe I’m just an experiment. Maybe he’s a sadist. Or an analyst. He’s trying to make me believe I’m insane. For a book or something. Yeah, that’s it. Coming soon: ”The W(ilson)-Files”.
Best wishes 🙂
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From the sound of it, going by your list and detailed descriptions, I’m going to point you in the direction of a blog which might answer some of your questions about what he may be and why he may be doing what he’s doing.
Here’s a link to one post on that blog:
https://narcsite.com/2017/11/16/no-good-advice-4/
I’d recommend checking out some of the other posts on that blog, like this one below:
https://narcsite.com/2017/11/16/watching-you-crumble-5/
You’re not insane.
Trust yourself.
Take good care of yourself.
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HOLY CRAP! You just made my evening. Wow, everything is so true!
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Thank you 🙂
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I am a Leo Woman
Me and this Capricorn male mutual met through a friend who I was cool with at the time. I noticed me and the Capricorn male started to get more closer than the mutual friend. So it started off with conversations on the phone about random funny stuff and then about art collaboration (he does music and i’m a visual artist=model and photographer). I guess he really liked one of my modeling photos so he took upon himself to base his music project on one of my modeling photos.
We started building an attraction after that (we never got intimate by the way I don’t believe in really getting intimiate with someone unless y’all both are at a decent stage in a relationship as well as I don’t condone of sleeping around with random people for no reason lol )
So anyways I guess you can say we was somewhat talking for a 3-4 weeks and I notice he started getting more open to me, calling me up back to back, texting me good morning etc. and then out of nowhere last week he told me he feel he shouldn’t mix businesss and pleasure together and also he claimed that whatever we had going on was making him “lose focus on his music”. I understand that in most cases business and pleasure can cause problems and I know how Capricorn people are very career/goal oriented especially when they are passionate about what they do.
But my thing is this….. if I was so much of a distraction “as he claimed” then why everytime I would go on facebook he would share all these statuses, post statuses, etc. Shouldn’t he be in is “lock himself away from everyone to focus mode” and not even get distracted on social media?
If he claim he don’t want to mix business and pleasure then why did he like my art post on social media still after he gave me that whole speech about how he claim he felt. The day after he told me how he felt and I may add after that I didn’t even respond back to what he had to last say he sent me some link where it can help me out with my business. I appreciate that by all means but he didn’t even say hey or anything so I sent him a question mark and he told me he figured this could help me out with my brand. I said “thanks” and then he gave me a thumbs up and i guess kept it moving… Once again I appreciate the kind gesture but part of me feels he wanted to see where my head was at or something
I would think normally when someone don’t want an attraction to someone they wouldn’t be liking anything he post. He even liked that post I did where it said “Seducing a Leo can be tough but once they fall for you they fall big time” lol. If you don’t want nothing to do with someone why is liking that post.
I’m just wondering what the deal is . We never had argued we got along pretty fine it is just he claim what we was doing was distracting him. I honestly feel if he don’t want nothing to do with me after what he said then he shouldn’t be liking my post. Is this a test? Do you think he will ever come around to speaking to me again or if he thinks i might be upset/mad. All this liking of my posts and statuses he should be having an adult conversation with me.
and yes I could easily message him but to be completely honest this is all on him. If you let someone go you can’t expect the person who you let go to chase you. What sense does that make?? lol
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
It sounds as though he’s being typically human and typical of an artist.
Typically human means he’s friend-zoned you because things between the two of you went too fast for him, got too intense, he got scared, and he decided that he did not like feeling scared and out of control as it was derailing his focus and making him lose sight of his plans for his life and career, so he did what he needed to do to return to his comfort zone. He’s feeling guilty about doing that because he genuinely likes you and if he was braver he might have gone further with the relationship. He can ‘Like’ your posts on FB to let you know he thinks you’re great, which makes him feel better.
Typical of an artist means – you’re a Muse to him. You and your work inspired his. He based a piece of music around one of your photos – do you have any idea how many people wish they could be the Muse to an artist like that, that is the ultimate compliment and affirmation of your awesome self, your effect on others, your own special magic shining from within. But most artists are afraid of getting too involved with their Muses once the muse has inspired a work of art – Muses are scary, powerful gods and goddesses of creativity – he doesn’t want to lose the Muse by getting to know the human too well.
He’s basically friend-zoned you so that you’ll forever be an awesome goddess of creative inspiration to him, and he can continue to admire you from a safe distance.
There’s no point in chasing him, you’ll scare him if you do that. He likes things as they are – close yet distant. While this isn’t what you wanted, and he’s annoyed you with his behaviour to the point where you’re ready to freeze him out, it might be worth considering the potential for a boost for your own career thanks to his admiration and guilt for friend-zoning you. Don’t let your pride get in the way of your success. There are other artists out there who would love to meet a Muse like you, and they might find you through him, through an opportunity he sends your way.
You could turn him and this experience into a Muse of your own, as you’re an artist too 🙂
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I can understand why someone may feel overwhelmed if things are running too fast for them or if they weren’t expecting everything to happen out of nowhere but can you honestly fight attraction if it’s literally right there in plain sight? Can you help who you attract and when you attract them?
The crazy thing is he messaged me on Saturday after he told me business and pleasure shouldn’t work out and asked me was I doing okay and he had stated he had been short on communication because he didn’t know what terms we stand on. Then going to tell me that he is going to text me once he gets to work, which he did. During our conversation he was mainly talking about how he has been doing alot of self reflecting and trying to in vision what he wants out of life and that he was thinking about doing a 2 day water fast as well. I can say we quit speaking around that evening and then he hit me up the following day on Sunday to talk a bit I can say that conversation ended around Sunday evening, Didn’t hear from him on Monday , and well Today is Tuesday. His birthday is tomorrow as well.
I don’t know I mean i’m better than how I was last week mentally but i’m not going to lie I care for the him. Most times when someone is done with someone they wouldn’t be messaging them to see how they are doing let alone trying to hold a conversation. He kind of did sound nervous on the phone. I am kind of confused about it all to be honest.
Nobody is perfect but I will say I am a good female. When I like someone I like someone (not smothery or clingy) but I am all about showing support to someone and their dreams especially if it is someone I like or close to. Part of me is wondering if he is going to come to his senses or what exactly he is going to do. I know I can’t make someone do something but for some odd reason I feel this energy of tension between me and him it’s like i’m fighting a magnet (I honestly had told him that I feel like I feel uneasy because I feel like I am fighting a magnet and that something is missing). I can literally feel the attraction of energy and awkwardness especially when we go a certain amount of time without speaking I am just like I know I will hear from him soon again but I didn’t hear from him on Monday.
and yes I could easily pick up the phone and call him or message/text him but I honestly feel if someone dumps someone or calls things off someone they have to initiate to get them back.
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One of the greatest and enduring mysteries of life is other people who are not like us, who attract us because they are not like us and are attracted to us because we are not like them.
What happens in those kinds of relationships is the friction which has inspired some beautiful works of art which have continued to inspire even when a relationship dies.
It sounds like you’re both awesome people, who had the opportunity to meet, be together in a moment, and that moment has passed but you’re both still transfixed by the meeting and the moment.
What you do with what has been and what still is… that’s up your your individual creative selves. Maybe this strange dance you’re doing will end when the music stops or will keep going until one or the other decides to do something more than tiptoe around the other to preserve the self.
Some things and people can’t be explained, they can only be experienced 🙂
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This is my story.
I never want to know any Cap man or willing to know them at all, since I have one best cousin which is in Cap, and all the time, both I and his girlfriend are tired to deal with him over and over. I am Sag which is born with Cap Stellium (Mercury – Saturn – Neptune – Uranus), but I still like the fact that I hold spirit of Sag. I always think Cap is the most childish men forever, based on what I saw from my cousin.
and I met this Cap man, has the same birthday as my best friend/childhood friend aka coussin. Just that he is older than me 10 years. Funnily, I loved to mock him, annoyed him, and did whatever to hurt his ego (and you know how sharp and straight forward tongue of Sag is). What I did not expect is that despite hating me, he came back to chase after me. I hated him for sure. May be because I and him are from different culture/ethnic that I hated his lifestyle, and it made us argue, debate, irritated everyday. He is so cruel, cold, heartless, and I felt hurt all the time. Then after that, we might get closer… I do not know either. Then he confessed (or maybe he wants to joke, I do not know), he was mad at me for sudden and I do not know why, but he keeps texting me all the time. He said he missed me, and then he asked if I love him or not… and then he said he was mad to love me… and then…. he said why did I not believe in him, believing each other is the first step to love, is it what I said to him before… and then times by times, I felt he is not asshole like I thought…
We became closer until…I decide not to get angry with him anymore. I sat down and decide to listen to him… He said he changed. He said it is me who improved him. Before that, He did not believe in anyone, he always thinks people playing with him, he always think that people uses him. However, I made him want to live kinder and more sympathetic to others rather than being cruel to them. He said he deleted all the girl’s number because of me. He said that when talking with me, he just know I am the one he looked for…. and then he called me true friend, he will always see me as friend….
Well, I am glad to see him more serious and less cruel, but I do not expect him to do that to me. Then one time, he said he loves me…. Unfortunately, in the past, I did reject all type of feeling towards him and never let him hope… just that now when he said so… I felt it was a true confession but I had to reject him again by saying that he should not play with my feeling all the times like that and then… he said to me that “Idiot.. I am just joking.” I just smile, and we moved to another topic. Until now, we still talk, share, and like friends, he talk with me everyday.
I just think that let the time decide if he is my fate or not….I feel that we are too different. We are in different ethnic/nationality/lifestyle, and we live far away. He said to me that he is incomplete without me, and it makes me feel so painful but I could not say so… I do not want to cross the border of friendship. Plus, we are not able to date and meet everyday like normal couples because both of us have jobs in different countries to do.
It is true that Sag’s nature is doubting… I doubt a lot in any men’s feeling and I cannot believe his feeling is real. 🙂 I still think that he just feel interested in this moment because I was the one told him directly a selfish – arrogant, self-centered etc bastard, but he does not love me for real…. Let’s see if this stubborn and blunt man can make me believe him or not.
Anyway… my lesson is for all girls are that… no matter which sign he is, just be who you are, the right man will come no matter which sign he is. the right man will choose to stay with you no matter what….
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
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My ex-husband used to tell me that I was ornery and had a smart mouth, I told him somebody had to.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂
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