The Dangerous Assumption

TheAssumption

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“When first I was put into prison some people advised me to try and forget who I was. It was ruinous advice. It is only by realising what I am that I have found comfort of any kind. Now I am advised by others to try on my release to forget that I have ever been in a prison at all. I know that would be equally fatal. It would mean that I would always be haunted by an intolerable sense of disgrace, and that those things that are meant for me as much as for anybody else – the beauty of the sun and moon, the pageant of the seasons, the music of daybreak and the silence of great nights, the rain falling through the leaves, or the dew creeping over the grass and making it silver – would all be tainted for me, and lose their healing power, and their power of communicating joy. To regret one’s own experiences is to arrest one’s own development. To deny one’s own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one’s own life. It is no less than a denial of the soul.” ― Oscar Wilde, De Profundis

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DangerousAssumption

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The Assumption in these photographs is the name of a chapel on the grounds of a country house which is now a hotel. From a distance it is quite imposing for such a small building as it was built upon a hill and you are always beneath it. Even though it is imposing, it is not intimidating, in fact it seems to beckon the viewer to take a closer look, perhaps even inviting you inside for a moment of solace in such a busily chaotic world. Yet… you can’t go in, for your own safety, of course.

But what if your safety depends on being able to get inside such a place. What if you are seeking sanctuary from the perils of life, searching for somewhere to hide for a while from that which besieges you, a quiet port in the storms around. What if in the depths of your dark night you want to step into the light, but the light lies beyond a door which is locked, and not just locked but protected by a perimeter fence with a sign warning you that what is within is dangerous for you, keep out of here.

It’s always puzzled me how so often the very places (and sometimes people) which tell us they’re here for us when we need them, aren’t there for us when we have the need for them.

Of course there is always a logical reason, a practical explanation, a viable excuse, why the promises made to us get broken, shatter, tear, disintegrate, when we try to use them, cash in that IOU, why what we were promised for when we were in need when we didn’t need anything isn’t there when we need it. Perhaps we waited too long to need it, and during that passing of time things changed for the giver of the promise as they did for us. We didn’t notice things changing for them, we only noticed when they changed for us, and that’s when we noticed too that those who were supposed to be there for us, weren’t there. Were we there for them when they needed us… perhaps we didn’t notice.

Assumptions are dangerous, as the sign says, keep out of such places.

The notice asks to be noticed.

Conditions are subject to change.

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“One can realise a thing in a single moment, but one loses it in the long hours that follow with leaden feet. ”

― Oscar Wilde, De Profundis

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9 thoughts on “The Dangerous Assumption

  1. As always, since best wishes. 🙂 This entry is really for you … not about the post. You quoted Oscar Wilde. The astrologer Cyril Fagan rectified Wilde’s chart. Wilde’s rectified Virgo Ascendant is very near your Virgo Moon; and his Leo Moon is located in the 12th House, though not near the Ascendant like yours. As with yours, his Moon falls into one of the Gaugelin zones associated with writing.

    About your Virgo Moon, Steven Forrest wrote the following:

    “Moon in Virgo. Virginity isn’t the point. That’s just a kind of inexperience, and in the long run no one learns much from avoiding experience.

    “Virgo means purity. Perfection. Getting everything exactly right. That’s a tall order. Perfection is a harsh master. It drives the Virgoan part of you, haunting you with a sense of what could be, a sense of the ideal. It also holds a flawless mirror before you, revealing all the imperfections and shortfalls in your character. The combination is powerful. It fills your spirit with hunger and divine discontent, imbueing you with restlessness, as though you’d taken out an insurance policy against complacency. Be careful, though: Virgo energies can self-destruct, slipping into a crippling hyper-awareness regarding all the flaws and shortfalls inherent in people, oneself, your possessions, your prospects – everything. And nothing kills your climb toward perfection faster than that.

    “With your Moon in Virgo, your instincts are analytical, always searching for weaknesses and flaws. People can misunderstand that, and imagine you to be ‘negative’ or ‘hyper-critical.’ Those problems are real possibilities for you, but only when you’re not taking care of yourself. When you’re healthy, there’s a constructive aspect to your perceptions, as though you’re constantly straining to improve things. Ultimately, the only kinds of people with whom you can be comfortable are ones who are willing to see themselves objectively, call a spade a spade, and proceed in reasonable ways to change their characters or circumstances. You don’t have much patience with pretty words that aren’t linked to sincere, concrete promises.“

    One more from Joyce Mason @ radicalvirgo.com:

    “There are many sensitive Moon signs, the water Moons (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) foremost. I put Virgo Moon right up there with them. Virgo Moon feel her emotions in her body. This can be both a blessing and a curse.

    [Virgo is sextile Cancer]: “One key word for a sextile — back to Virgo’s sextile to the Moon’s natural placement in Cancer — is ‘provides structure for.’ Virgo Moon is like Cancer Moon with a container ‘built in.’ The container is the body itself. Of course, everyone’s emotions reside in the body. Virgo is just hyper aware of it, making the container even sensitive to itself. Feelings and body are one.

    “Sometimes that makes it not so easy to live there. The sensation of carrying your emotions pulsing in your body and to function well at the same time means keeping your physical vehicle clean, organized, and efficient. This is how Virgo Moon lives. When Virgo Moon isn’t comfortable her own skin, that’s when the nervous twitching starts, along with digestive problems—and dare I mention, neuroses?

    “Recently I’ve interacted often with a Virgo Moon friend I hadn’t seen in a long time. I am exhausted. If she wears me out, I can’t imagine what it must be to live in the center of that chronic worry and fretting 24/7. The evolution of that energy is to trust utterly your feelings. Then there’s nothing to worry about, because your body is giving you biofeedback for every decision you need to make and direction you need to travel.”

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    1. Steve Forrest has Saturn in Virgo (his Moon is in Aries) – his interpretation of Moon in Virgo explains his own chart better than it does the placement. Same with Joyce Mason. Her Moon is in Capricorn and her 6th house has a stellium in Libra – explains her take on Virgo Moon better than it explains a Virgo Moon.

      Always look at the chart of the astrologer (if they’ve shared it – if they haven’t, then why ever not considering this is their vocation) to understand their interpretations, especially those of placements they don’t have in their natal chart.

      You can’t understand a Moon (in whatever sign) intellectually – it’s the Moon, the emotions, they have to be felt, sensed, not thought about.

      Most interpretations of a Virgo Moon are painting by the numbers. Fair enough as it tells a Virgo Moon holder how others perceive it, which a Virgo Moon needs to understand. Especially this particular Virgo Moon which is caught up in a T-square with a heavy emphasis on Pisces. You (the other) will never get it as the placement as it is is designed that way. It is not about others understanding, it is about understanding others. You will never get it even if you strain every muscle of your very visionary self. It’s not meant to be ‘got’, it is just meant to be, as is.

      Relax, let go, let things flow… it flows like the universe does. Don’t try to catch it in a jar (your 12th house Moon knows about how impossible that is and is not the way to treat such an entity as the Moon and what it represents).

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      1. So much fun, this repartee. Thank you. ❤ You wrote, “Assumptions are dangerous, as the sign says, keep out of such places.” With astrology, when one assumes that one zodiac or another is “correct” or that an astrologer knows … “assumptions are dangerous.”

        As for wild Wilde, you do know why he was imprisoned.
        In modern diagnostics, would he have qualified for NPD? Wilde also said:
        “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
        “There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

        Lynette d’Arty-Cross’ experience with her narcissistic spouse … she may relate to Constance Wilde (Oscar’s wife ) who made the choice to change her name and hers sons’ name to Holland so as to “protect the innocent."

        William James wrote, “When a superior intellect and a psychopathic temperament coalesce…in the same individual, we have the best possible condition for the kind of effective genius that gets into the biographical dictionaries…Their ideas possess them, they inflict them, for better or worse, upon their companions or their age.”
        p.23, The Varieties of Religious Experience

        Again, thank you for your thrusts and parries. 🙂

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        1. Wilde was a great observer of human nature. He had a sharp eye which saw behind the facade, but also understood the reason for the facade. He saw the beauty in its flaws and the ugliness in its pretences, rules and regulations, its mask of perfection, and he shared his observations with a very keen wit. His humour was genius, he used it to expose as well as to protect himself, to sugar what he was exposing. Much of his writing was aimed at the hypocrisy of the time and place in which he lived. To understand him you also have to understand the era.

          If you take him and his words out of context, then he becomes whatever you have decided he is going to be for you. His words and your view of him say more about you than they do about him.

          The way that he wrote is not how someone with NPD writes. He had lashings of empathy and bared his emotions without fear. The way that he lived is not the way that someone with NPD lives. He embraced his homosexuality. If anyone had NPD it was the society of that time, one which would punish a man for being himself rather than pretending to be someone else for the sake of appearances, for the sake of a collective illusion. In some ways you could say that he was confronting a very narcissistic society, and they made him pay for it just as someone with NPD makes people pay for being themselves rather than catering to who the narcissist wants them to be.

          He was a man who understood the comedy and tragedy of life, and he did not shy away from reality, on the contrary he looked right at it and… it did not like being looked at that way so it tried to gouge his eyes out, silence him, end his life.

          Look more with the heart than the mind.

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          1. I acknowledge and accept your defense of Oscar. I apologize. Yes, sincerely, I feel sorry. As you wrote, “Look more with the heart than the mind.” ❤

            Yesterday I accompanied my wife Jess to the hospital. There was a card which she liked: “One kind word can warm three winter months." a Japanese proverb

            Blessings, grace, and loving-kindness to you and all whom you know.

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            1. Even monkeys fall from trees – a Japanese proverb

              The mind is a wonderful tool, but it needs to be guided in its ways by the heart, otherwise it gets caught up in itself. The mind always wants others to understand it while it judges them from its ivory tower. The heart roams the wilderness, seeks to understand others, and is where real understanding resides.

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