Last night I watched – Harmontown – and frigging loved it!
Dan Harmon is that awesome teacher… you rarely get to meet in school. The one who tells it to you like it is.
Whatever ‘it’ is.
He tells you how awful the education system is. That’s why he’s a shit teacher, that’s why all your teachers are shit. It’s not your fault for being shit students – so stop giving yourself kudos for that! Your teachers want to be great for you, teach you stuff rather than shit… but they work for a system that is flawed (and breaks any idealism a teacher had about teaching in the first few seconds they have of entering the system) and refuses to fix its flaws because it doesn’t know how (that shit is frigging complicated, D&D plus jenga plus rubik’s plus tetris plus Zork (text-game hell) plus enigma machine plus bond-villain style impossipuzzle) and or it can’t because it needs the government to do that, to help, and… yeah… about government – It’s Soylent Green… so… um… it’s f’cked.
Let’s move on…
To being human and dealing with what that’s like… which is mostly about hitting the ‘dislike’ button on yourself, thinking everyone else is doing the same thing where you’re concerned, but you think everyone else’s button which is being hit is a ‘like’ one.
Everyone else likes everyone else but you… welcome to the club of being human. It’s super secret and we only meet in dark rooms where no one can see us or hear us… cry, scream, roll around on the floor… but not laughing and we’re not doing yoga either.
Dan Harmon does that in (his podcasts and) his film in a way which will have you laughing and crying and squirming and… getting really depressed while feeling elated at the same time.
By the end of the film… I needed a year’s worth of sleep as much as he did (does he ever actually sleep!?!).
In searching online for some quotes of his, I came across this…
Which made me pmsl… in a deeply philosophical way.
At the very beginning of the documentary, Dan and those who know him are asked to describe him – who he is. They struggle, so does he. That’s a part of who he is and how others experience that (maybe or it could just be edited that way – that side of things is also part of who he is – he knows the image game, but is he playing it or effing with it!?!).
That quote above, for me, is who he is… and he’s saying those words because he doesn’t do them himself (and perhaps wished he did). He knows what it feels like to not do that, so it’s a warning about the shit you put yourself through when you don’t do it.
How light you would feel if you went easy on yourself… how heavy it is to bear down on yourself with so much weighty self-stuff.
The loudest thought I had about him throughout the whole documentary/film was – this guy is too hard on himself and puts himself under far too much pressure to live up to some ideal self… (and he needs more sleep – and not to think too much about himself when he’s had so little sleep).
It’s so easy to see what other people are doing and not doing… sometimes that’s our distraction from ourselves and everything we’re telling ourselves about us and those shoulds and shouldn’ts and such.
I wondered, as I sometimes idly do when watching others – what astrological Sun sign is this dude? Because such a thing is highly important to know.
He’s got to be a Cancerian, I thought (he looked like my dad sometimes, in a certain light), he looks and moves like one (always slightly sideways, sidestepping), but then again… perhaps an Aries, as he charges in and tramples all over other people’s highly sensitive and sensitised selves (then again he works in Hollywood, so that’s a piece of p… and prone to happen because those folks are sort of made of triggers and ego and plasticine which never sets and is easy to dent with the slightest touch). Yet he was sensitive to it all… empathetic… so…
I was right and wrong (which isn’t unusual – the getting things wrong bit – especially in the game of guessing Sun signs. I suck at that!)… I had the Cardinal sign bit right. However…
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! He’s an effing Capricorn. Should have known. Perhaps I didn’t want to know (for those who don’t know – my Sun sign is that one. Heavy Saturn sigh!).
He’s a master of the self-destructive, self-deprecating, self-critical, self-reflective tearing yourself a new one schtick… which other people seem to relate to and quite like about you even though… why are they liking you for that or anything else about you!?!
Okay, let’s be even more honest about how awful we are, maybe this time people will run away screaming instead of being attracted to you and wanting more of you because they feel you understand them.
F******************ck! They like you even more!?!
You being you uncensored is what they like because you let them be them… you say what they are afraid to say and make everything alright somehow even though everything which comes out of your mouth is something which makes you want to punch yourself in the face for saying it.
Will you never learn!?!
Sometimes the best teachers are the most hypocritical ones – they’re so human it hurts and yet also relieves the hurt at the same time, makes it okay to be human.
Thank you, Dan – Awesome teacher of the year! I hope to be like you some day (f*****ck! Did I actually say that out loud!?! And he is timewise younger than me… so… whatever, Caps age backwards so I’m younger in a twisted way).