anupturnedsoul

How to tell if a Capricorn woman likes you…

To be honest… rather than dishonest, I suppose… even I, a Capricorn woman, am never sure if I like someone or not.

Like… is so oatmeal.

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So Oatmeal

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It takes time, interest, effort, and things like that to get to know someone.

Sometimes those you dislike during that phase known as the first impression, turn out to be people who you end up liking for life. And those you like during that same phase… sometimes they’re still likeable after the honeymoon is over, and sometimes… not so much.

We all put our ‘best’ face forward, especially when we are meeting new people… but what we think is our ‘best’ face, may not be what others think is a good face for them to look at.

We can’t see ourselves, they can. They can’t see themselves, we can. But what are we seeing when we look at them, and what are they seeing when they look at us?

Our face is often a mirror for others. If they don’t like themselves, they’re never going to like us eventually…

Just as their face is one which we may mistake as a mirror for us. If we don’t like ourselves, we’re never going to like them eventually…

… but they and we may play pretend for a while, a while where all is well until it begins to get unwell, then becomes quite sick.

This person likes me, therefore I’m awesome… maybe… issues apply, please read the smallprint (but don’t do that, that’s why it is smallprint).

This person doesn’t like me… OMG, what did I do or say which was wrong, this is a catastrophe, how do I make it better… do I dig a hole and bury myself in it or can I build a sand castle and distract everyone from me using it?

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Don't climb on rocks

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Personally, as a Capricorn woman…

… and many other things which go with being an individual, human being, who has had a life of experience (not necessarily the wisdom kind of experience, but maybe…) of living, being, interacting with other living beings…

… and is not just a Sun sign, as you trying to figure me out based solely on my Sun sign are not just your Sun sign…

I do tend to mistrust those who like me immediately.

I also mistrust myself when I like someone immediately.

Sometimes the mistrust is misplaced… but sometimes it’s not.

Being a Capricorn… I tend to go with erring on the side of caution. We’re a very cautious sign, for very logical reasons – People lie, and lies are rippling things, dominoes, and stuff like that.

You’re a people. We’re a people too. But for some reason other people seem to gloss over the fact that we’re a people.

If I’m wrong about being such a suspicious MF, then let me regret it and be relieved that I was wrong. I’ll even fess up to it… if you’re the sort of person I can trust with that kind of confession, then you’ll be the sort of friend I would gladly die for (within reason, that’s a poetic flourish, don’t make me prove it literally as you may be disappointed).

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I’m not sure if I’m a stereotypical Capricorn… female. But one thing that is for sure… based on the grumblings of my tried and trusted friends, as well as those who fell by the wayside due to being untrustworthy or something like that… I am frigging difficult to get to know.

I’m sorry about that, I know it’s true, but I’m not sorry about that. It’s one of the ways I get to know you and decide if my like is real or superficial, and if you are real or… just a beautiful illusion.

Want to know if I like you? Put up with not knowing whether I like you or not.

Capricorns are capricious, always ‘testing’ people – even when we don’t want to do that, we do it. It seems to be part of the shit that we do. How you deal with our shit… makes a difference to us, because we know we’re shit.

Apologies… and stuff.

What about you?

If you watched that Billy Joel music video in this post, and judged it for the hair or old school stuff… good luck with getting ‘liked’ by a Capricorn. Maybe being ‘liked’ by a Capricorn is not for you. Listen to the words, get the message…  don’t think what you see on the surface is the message.

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Patti Smith

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“Make your interactions with people transformational, not just transactional.”
― Patti Smith (Capricorn female).

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16 comments

  1. To me, “I like you” is a sort of commitment, to me at least, so I always want to be sure I mean it when I say it. Unlike most Leos (I think, anyway) I am – as you know – an introvert who doesn’t care much for crowds or that big, blowsy, hale-fellow-well-met, I-like-everyone stuff. But, I like your blog very much, and if your blog is you, then I think I can say that I like you. 🙂

    And btw, I am being courted by a narcissist colleague. As you have suggested before, I really focussed on how this individual makes me feel – my heart rate, my level of irritated claustrophobia (I don’t know what else to call it – just an intense desire to get away accompanied by serious irritation because I can’t), my nervous stomach. Usually, I stuff these feelings and examine them later (although sometimes not at all), but today I took the time to recognize them in the moment. It was really very calming to give myself some room to just be how I was feeling. And the narcissist? Just doing narcissist stuff – I’m a challenge to be conquered. Not likely. 🙂 Anyway, I wanted to say thanks, so thanks. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you very much 🙂

      It’s very interesting when you observe yourself reacting to people. Pause and reflect. Check out the mirror that you’re being for them and what’s behind the mirror. Narcs in particular have a way of fugging up the mirror until the mirror decides to break because it just can’t take it. When the mirror breaks, that’s when the genie inside of it (of us) is unleashed.

      Whenever I find myself intensely irritated by someone and the irritation doesn’t make sense given the context… more often than not, they’re a narc. Or at least they’re a narc as far as I’m concerned. Irritated claustrophobia is an excellent way to describe it. They do tend to suffocate and it is bloody annoying. You can feel yourself being smushed into a box which is too small and very limiting.

      I totally get the examining feelings later thing. But then I tend to blank myself out and can only fill in the blank later when I’m alone and have time to assess. Sometimes that is a useful process, but at other times it helps to be there in the moment.

      Being on a narc’s radar is such a pain, especially when you’re a ‘challenge’ to them, it takes being ‘special’ to a critical level, but it can be turned into a learning experience… putting into practice all those theories you’ve worked on and the studies you’ve been exploring. Testing your own process. You could use them as a guinea pig in an experiment, perhaps blog about it. That sounds awful… sometimes I’m awful 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      • Then I guess I’m awful, too, because I already considered it! You’re very right about putting my theories into practice. I’ve started that process. I know that this individual feels intimidated by me and as a result has gone into “conquer” mode. I really am not intimidating this person, just carefully maintaining professionalism by recognizing this colleague’s drawbacks and acting accordingly. Polite, but no involvement whatsoever. The staring is getting to me though, and is triggering all those reactions that I mentioned above. It’s creeping me out. And then there’s the sidling up to me. Yuck. But so far, so good. For the most part, I’m feeling really happy about how I’m handling this situation. Thanks again, because you are a part of that process. 🙂

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        • You’re in a very interesting position, make the most of it for yourself and always trust yourself 🙂

          They’re persistent when you’re on their ‘conquer’ radar. Drip, drip, drip… until they wear you down, but only as long as they think they’re fascinating for you. Try to appear bored in a lazy way. They may back off, but then launch a new assault, then back away, then return. It’s all about them, not about you, so you have more power than they do in the situation. Just remain consistent and it can counteract their persistence. Science is quite useful. Be the immovable object. They have a tendency to get bored as long as you aren’t vital to their identity. Even then you can encourage them to keep their distance by using what you know about what makes them keep their distance.

          It helps to know what kind of narcissist you’re dealing with. Overt ones are easier to deflect as they are more fickle and more likely to leave you alone if you are an unknown. Creep them out. They’re very sensitive to having done to them what they do to you. Just be careful of not making it antagonistic. Weird them out in a non-provocative manner. Let them distance themselves from you, but in a wary of you manner – remain an unknown factor. Covert ones are harder to deal with, however they’re very hyper-sensitive, so being insensitive is a turn-off. Just keep it bland, detached, play ‘stupid’, be lazy and awkward socially.

          And don’t take my advice, trust yourself 😉

          Liked by 1 person

          • Thanks! 🙂 And I do trust your advice – I have learned so much from you!

            I know what you mean, though – just apply what I’ve learned and trust my reactions. I feel quietly confident in my ability to handle this person. Something of a new sensation for me! This one is definitely covert, and I do have to be cautious because this is my workplace and we are big right now on collaboration, whether we need it or not. I really like your suggestion of letting them distance themselves. I’ll try to be as bland, detached and boring as possible. Thanks! 🙂

            Like

            • The workplace narcissist is an intriguing study. Be sure to know what their eye is focused upon. They’re looking at the workplace dynamic, seeking to infiltrate and control it, then rule it. If you’re in a workplace narcissist’s eyesight, then you’re either a threat or an potential ally, or both of those. Figure out how they see you in the hierarchy, and what you mean to them in the scheme of things. What is their goal?

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              • This person is definitely seeking to control. I think I’m seen as a threat because (unlike a number of others) I have avoided the clique that this person is seeking to develop, which may also suggest that I was originally seen as a potential ally. I’m actually not sure why this individual would even bother with me – I’m an outlier – unless that makes me a loose thread to be picked up. I know this person has already made some underhanded moves around me to learn about my level of professionalism, and I have answered (through my behaviour) in a very strict way. Really working the bland and boring angle, though. 🙂

                Like

  2. I believe Caps are the most analytic of all zodiac signs. I believe they are just as loyal as Lions, but don’t put up with shite like Lions as well. I believe they will tell it straight, like Lions do. But I also believe, you’ll use this for assessment and analysis. 😛 There’s nothing more I could add to what Lynette and CC shared, “I like your blog very much, and if your blog is you, then I think I can say that I like you.” And, “Hope all is well, and it’s always good to read you.” Beautifully stated.

    I ‘like’ people, until they give me a reason not to, but I think I care too much about what others think about me. Here’s a good blog I read about, “not giving a fuck” that I think a Cap can relate to.

    http://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck#.eoykqs:UQtz

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    • Thank you 🙂

      I am what I am. My blog is a fairly good representation of that. Although I’m not as chatty in RL as I am on my blog. I certainly don’t talk about myself as much offline as I do online. I indulge my self online. My posts are more what goes on in my mind when I’m just sitting quietly watching life around me, observing people, letting others do the talking while I do the listening.

      I don’t bother much with pretending anymore, I’m too old for that kind of BS which doesn’t really work, although I still pretend I’m fine when I’m not, but that’s for the sake of easy – I really don’t want to explain things to others sometimes, as long as I get it, then no one else needs to get it, they have their own problems, they don’t need mine.

      I leave it to others to decide who I am for them. ‘Like’ is very fickle… someone likes me as long as liking me suits them, and they stop liking me the moment it no longer serves a purpose for them.

      I know who I am for me. Others don’t need to agree with that. Like it. Or anything else. The only thing I really ‘like’ is keeping things as simple as possible 😉

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    • Thank you very much 🙂

      Love Annie Lennox, awesome songstress, artiste, and Capricorn, a deeply feeling one – however very good at playing with the whole stereotype of the sign in some ways, even if it wasn’t deliberate – no one does face like she does and what an amazing face she has, that bone structure, wow!

      Capricorns sometimes do a blank expression (to hide what they’re really feeling, because our deep feelings are private. For the eyes of those who really care to know what lies beneath) which allows others to project onto it. A blank face makes a good film screen for the projections of the feelings, thoughts and personalities of others, and you learn a lot about others from what they see when they look at you. A Capricorn likes to know who they’re dealing with before they reveal themselves – that pisses a lot of people off, especially those who want to fool you with their superficial facade.

      It’s quite apt that Annie Lennox did a song on the soundtrack of The Lord of the Rings – an epic story written by a Capricorn, J.R.R.Tolkien, which has a very Cappy life experience theme to it.

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