Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

kelly lebrock pantene

.

If you’re my age or thereabouts…

– which in trending terms would be the sort of person who wears flats to The Cannes Film Festival (I have no idea what the real story behind the snowballing media ‘real story’ version is, it’s hard to believe anything these days, but this has stirred up so many issues for so many people it’s probably going to keep snowballing for another few seconds in media life while everyone chips in with their opinion, jumps on the bandwagon and publicises themselves).

… then you may have been exposed to Pantene’s ‘Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful’ advertising campaign. It was both annoying and rather endearing. Not dissimilar to L’Oreal’s ‘Because I’m Worth It’ commercials. There were some major Jedi mind tricks going on there for the purpose of selling beauty products.

.

im-worth-it_meme

.

Did it work? Did I buy Pantene because I wanted to have hair which made people hate me because I was beautiful or whatever I was (and others were) supposed to think and feel?

Luckily I’m at that stage in life when forgetfulness is a blessing, even though I keep being told to fear such a thing as it may be a sign of dementia or something worse (like actually being happy because I no longer care… to remember or can recall why I should be unhappy).

I did try Pantene’s shampoo at some point… and it felt as though I’d rubbed my scalp with shards of glass. I figured that was a deliberate sensation which the product was supposed to cause to force me to also buy the conditioner just to make the pain stop. I decided that not using the product was the best way to go.

My bad…

I probably did buy L’Oreal stuff. It was hard not to as they owned other companies with other names and monopolised the market. But not because I wanted to be worth it. I hated that slogan… it pressed my I-don’t-want-to-go-there buttons. It’s just not worth it!

.

photoshopped madonnaphotoshopped madonna

.

Growing up female is a weird experience. I’m guessing that growing up male is also weird. Genders are weird. Being human is weird. Being human is hard enough as it is without piling on the gender issue pounds and dollars.

We have so many issues because we have this thing we sometimes brag about as being the reason why we’re better than all other natural creations. We think… about ourselves and being ourselves. And because we think… we think we’re better than other natural creations, and we mess with what is natural because of it.

We do the whole god/goddess complex thing… so focused on the benefits we disregard the side-effects, the consequences. Typical human-god complex magical thinking (because we can think and think thinking is magic) at work.

.

rainbow_immersion_therapy_by_sebreg-d56enrsby sebreg

.

I grew up with parents who overdosed on the god/goddess complex pow(d)er. So… of course I absorbed some of that and repeated the behaviour… with my Barbies.

I loved my Barbies (that term also includes Kens and Skippers).

I wasn’t a typical Barbie girly-girl… frankly, I didn’t think about that kind of thing because it wasn’t made relevant. Otherwise I would have probably done it. Been a girly-girl.And thought about it.

I didn’t know that the way I was wasn’t the way that everyone was. And that the way I played with my Barbies was not how girls were supposed to play with Barbies… according to the adverts… I only figured that out when I saw the adverts, but even then… it didn’t hit home until I played with others who surprised me by playing with Barbies like the adverts rather than like I played with them.

.

nailed it - game of thronesgenius!

.

Every now and then I come across an article which tries to be all objective, detached, psychological, or whatnot, while tearing Barbie a new one for being the source of all female body dysmorphia and other ailments. Hating on Barbie for being ‘beautiful’ and justifying the hate, encouraging others to propagate and perpetuate it – don’t you dare disagree or you’ll get accused of being something far worse than Barbie. Barbie is the root of all evil……….

It makes my heart ache – Barbie never made me feel bad about myself, even though I looked (and look) nothing like her. That was not what the relationship between me and Barbie was about – I got that kind of shit from interacting with humans, never with Barbie. She was there for me, accepted me as is, and helped me deal with human shit, work things out by playing them out with her. She put up with a lot of human mess on my part.

Some of my favourite Barbies went bald because I stuck pins in their heads (for ‘beauty’ purposes). They put up with it, and taught me to accept human shit… and yet not accept it too.

.

chanouga

.

Barbie didn’t teach me to hate my body – humans did.

I loved my legs until my mother enlightened me with the awful but true truth about how deformed they were (they weren’t she was just in an envious-of-my-youthful-self-love mood).

I loved to dress up and look ‘pretty’ until my father told me I was a whore for doing that (he was just pissed off at having a child, a family, responsibilities he didn’t want, and life in general in that moment in time and forever). My mother was there and didn’t disagree with him (if he hated me, then at least he wasn’t loving me because that offended her… or something like that).

I liked the way I looked until society told me that was not okay on so many levels (who did I think I was!?!). I needed their approval first (and they were loathe to give that kind of thing because not giving it gave them power… over their own powerlessness issues, and stuff). Each decade has made this worse rather than better… society is going through some tough shit dealing with being mortal.

But humans tell you to blame Barbie, because then you won’t blame them… but they will blame you.

.

princessdiana barbie quote

.

If you think you’re cool, special, enlightened, or some other ego trip for hating on Barbie… Barbie doesn’t care, not in that way, not in a human way… Barbie won’t reject you for hating on her… so you’re safe doing that and believing whatever your hate for her makes you believe… mostly about yourself.

When we hate others… we feel better about ourselves. Who created that kind of paradox!?!

Barbie is just a piece of molded plastic… she becomes whatever you make of her. The problems you have with Barbie… Barbie will accept that as being what she is to you, but she’s not the one causing the problems which you have with her. For the source of those problems, you’re going to have to look at the flesh and blood around you and within you.

Yes, sometimes Barbie is an evil bitch. But she needs to be because good, sweet Barbie needs to learn how to deal with evil bitches. Sometimes Ken saves the day, being all Knight in Shining Armor Prince Ken about it. But good Barbie may reject his help, she needs to handle this situation herself or she’ll end up being a damsel in permanent distress who always needs a Prince Ken to save her. That may be great at first, but it gets boring quickly. She’ll end up hating Prince Ken for that!

There’s also evil bastard Ken to contend with. Good Barbie needs to learn how to deal with that kind of creepy Ken. Sure Prince Ken could do that for her, but she does have to figure that kind of shit out for herself at some point… what if Prince Ken dies in the line of saving Good Barbie duty? Good Barbie has to learn how to wield a sword as much as she knows how to work with her wardrobe.

.

top tips for ending rape

.

My father was a bad father by conventional good father standards, but when he was being an a-hole, he didn’t discourage me from being an a-hole back just because I was female, his daughter, in fact he pretty much encouraged it. He dished it, and let me dish it back, provoked me to dish it back so I could defend myself and not worry about my self-defense being offensive.

It’s not a perfect system, but it has helped me… to get myself out of certain situations where being a typical ‘female’ adhering to standard good female inoffensive behaviour would have caused me a lot of grief. More grief than I already had from being human in a very human family in a very human society and world.

He once played Barbies with me – that was awkward, yet also kind of nice. A father willing to do that… well, sometimes evil Ken isn’t as evil as you think he is, perhaps you just think he is because bitch queen Barbie won’t let it be any other way.

Who knows…

My Barbie games were more like an episode of Once Upon A Time or Grimm…

.

hexenbiest

.

… which was great for me, but often confused my friends if I played ‘Barbies’ with them.

My bad…

They’d want to dress Barbie up to go on a date… fair enough… but this date is going to go horribly wrong, there’s going to be a shipwreck on a seemingly deserted island, and just as the survivors are pulling themselves together, and doing basic survival stuff… they’ll discover this island isn’t deserted at all (sounds like Lost). Evil Ken or Bitch Queen Barbie rules this island of Dr. Moreau… Shit just got surreal!

Let’s just say… I introduced quite a few innocents into the world of extreme Barbie X-games. Welcome to childhood insomnia – you can’t go to sleep, not now… Good Barbie is naked and hanging upside down over a vat of piranhas, evil Ken thinks this will convince her to love him. Prince Ken is probably dead or enslaved by Evil Queen Barbie. Good Barbie better learn to kick some manipulative ass quickly or she’s chum!

.

the-island-of-dr.-moreau

.

My mother once walked in on one too many of these Barbie games of mine and decided to consult my child psychologist Godfather/Uncle about her child. From that moment on I knew he was scared of me (he wasn’t my uncle, he was crying uncle)… which was funny. An adult scared of a child!?!

I didn’t really realise what I was doing during that time in my life… I was working stuff out in a way which may have appeared unhealthy, but considering the consequences and side effects… putting bits of molded plastic through hell has somehow made me more considerate towards flesh and blood (and not putting flesh and blood through hell) than maybe I’d have been had I followed in other footsteps.

Those who don’t do that kind of thing… tend to be more prone to acting that kind of darkness out on their flesh and blood.

.

 1618665_745507265462116_1888609718_nby Toby Allen

 .

We’re always a work in progress… working things out… one way or another.