Whatever it is, I’m against it

Grouchy

.

“Whatever it is, I’m against it.”
― Groucho Marx

.

At the local Truth or Dare club, which meets every Monday, except when it’s another day of the week, there’s always one smarty pants, usually a newbie, who decides to tell the truth rather than take on a dare.

Admittedly some of the dares can be quite daunting, so much so that they make telling the truth a more reasonable option… until a truth is told.

.

“There’s one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says “yes” you know he is a crook.”
― Groucho Marx

.

You have to be very careful when telling a truth because it’s a relative, and those pesky brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts… and Old Uncle Tom Cobley et al have a way of turning up and killing the joy of just about everything with those eyes in the back of their head which weren’t born yesterday.

Blood is thicker than water… and is unthinkably undrinkable, unless you’re a vampire, but those guys and gals never tell the truth and rarely accept dares due to the Truth or Dare club members’ tendency to dare vampires to eat garlic while wearing a silver cross while watching the Sun rise. This sort of a dare may not kill them, but it annoys the fangs off of them.

.

“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”
― Groucho Marx

.

We’re not really a bad bunch, as long as you don’t get to know us. We’re hail fellow well met at first. Good listeners who are interested in the dribble which pours out of the mouths of others. Poor me a cup! Typo intended!

But our camaraderie soon wears out and gives way to the challenging side of human nature… which isn’t particularly nurturing and many people run away at this point – which is why our club seems rather exclusive. We don’t exclude anyone, they exclude themselves.

.

“You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.”
― Groucho Marx

.

The problem with people is that they want to hear what they want to hear. They call it the truth, but it’s not always true. As soon as the truth goes off the script they’ve given it, suddenly it becomes a lie, which offends them, and they then resort to defensive tactics which look to the eye like someone battling invisible spiderwebs which are very sticky and full of spider-meal detritus.

That’s why it is better to go with the dare than the truth.

But… butt?

But… you may argue that the truth will set you free… indeed it will, free to fight the endlessly spawning monsters of consequences which occur when people don’t like what you’ve just told them with your freedom claiming truth.

They worship the idol of honesty, as long as the idol answers their prayers… some of those prayers are for pleasing lies which are wearing the costume of truth so that the one praying can feel that they’ve gotten something freebie good for nothing given at all.

.

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”
― Groucho Marx

.

What happens when the dare is to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

A few clever clots, again usually newbies, have thought they were the first smartest person in the room to honour the hallowe’ened halls of our club’s premises with their patronising presence.

We have a very special treat reserved for their trumpeting trick – we tell them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth… of what we think of them and their smugduggery.

.

“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
― Groucho Marx

.

Works like a charm… against those who want to belong to a club to which they don’t belong – sometimes you’re better off not belonging to things, let the things belong to you if those things want to belong to you, if they don’t… then why do you want them?

.

groucho quote

.

Honesty is always the best policy*

*subject to terms and conditions that apply but not always, change on a whim, are written in indecipherable small print, and which will not be disclosed in the enclosed leaflet in any language including Elvish.

*please check with your supplier, they may have a different policy which does not override the usual policy it just makes things more complicated like an onion – beware of onion-cutting ninjas.

.

“Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”
― Groucho Marx