How Do I Express My Uniqueness… She Asked

A Hint of Red


“Yesterday’s weirdness is tomorrow’s reason why.”
― Hunter S. Thompson


How do you express your uniqueness?

Don’t you first have to figure out what it is?

What is that something which makes you… you… unique… you-nique.

We may all be born that way, unique, special snowflakes or whatever, but life and other people often try very hard to make us otherwise. Melt that special snowflake down to its basics and then get annoyed with it for not being special anymore.


“But I have a new love for that glittering instrument, the human soul. It is a lovely and unique thing in the universe. It is always attacked and never destroyed.”
― John Steinbeck


Don’t be that, be this. Don’t do that, do this. Do as I say and not as I do, and don’t do that either, but don’t not do it neither.

Be yourself… just not like that, that’s weird and is making everyone else feel awkward.

Be an individual, stand out from the crowd… but make sure the crowd approves.

Do your own thing, follow your dreams… but don’t expect support if your thing, your dreams, are different from those of others.


“Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world…if you do so, you are insulting yourself.”
― Bill Gates


Dare to be different! Vive la difference!… off with your head!

Don’t be a sheep, a follower, don’t do what everyone else is doing… but how dare you! Who do you think you are!?!

Don’t be ordinary, be extraordinary… Uh, oh… now everyone thinks you’re a narcissist!



If only we could stop caring about what others think of us… it would be a welcome relief. We could finally just be ourselves unchained, unrestrained, unplugged.

Yet… we’d lose a lot if we didn’t care. The moment you stop caring, genuinely don’t give a hoot anymore about anyone or anything… you’re a satellite adrift in a world in which you don’t belong. That creates a whole load of other kind of… caring of a very different sort.

You’d be surprised how much not caring makes other people care, so if you think it’s the road to freedom… think again.

We’re connected… even when we’re disconnected.


“Maybe each human being lives in a unique world, a private world different from those inhabited and experienced by all other humans. . . If reality differs from person to person, can we speak of reality singular, or shouldn’t we really be talking about plural realities?”
― Philip K. Dick


As we all know, even though we come to that kind of knowledge from our own unique paths – being unique is a curse, which can also be a blessing… but the curse part of it hurts like hell, and the sweet balm of the blessing side of it is fleeting.

Unless you happen to be in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing, being all unique and stuff and… everyone else loves it and approves and cheers you on your unique way.

They’ll lift you up, way up high onto a pedestal, worship your special something and encourage you to keep expressing it…


“So therefore I dedicate myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labors, my sufferances, my loneliness, my unique madness, my endless absorption and hunger because I cannot dedicate myself to any fellow being.”
― Jack Kerouac


But be careful… those same people who love you for being you, can just as easily start hating you for the things they loved you for, and since they put you on that pedestal, they can topple you.

And down you go… and they will celebrate your fall the same way they celebrated your rise, perhaps with even more gusto.




Because as much as we love someone for being unique, we also want them to be just like us.

Expressing your uniqueness… also has to express the uniqueness of the collective of which you are a part.

Your voice sings your song, but it also sings the song of others.

Your words may be yours, but they also hold the words of others.

Your painting, your self portrait, may be a portrait of you and no one else, but it may also be of another self.

Your dance to the beat of your own drum, holds an echo of the steps of another, their beat, their drum.

We are one, yet one is never alone even if they think and feel that they are.


“Every man is more than just himself; he also represents the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world’s phenomena intersect, only once in this way, and never again.”
― Hermann Hesse


Your uniqueness is the kiss of life given to the uniqueness of others.

It doesn’t just belong to you, it belongs to all of us… and when you are you, expressing your uniqueness, you pass that bug, that virus, on to others. You being you… encourages them to be them.

And we all benefit, and suffer a bit, yet the pain is part of the pleasure.

All of us who struggle with being different, weird, alien, outsiders, misfits, and so on… find an all for one and one for all!




 So… the how of the question requires an understanding of the puzzle and its complexities, its conflicts and consequences, and beyond.

Perhaps how to express it is more important than the uniqueness itself, because that uniqueness is always going to squirt out of us no matter how well we try to hide it.

It’s in our nature to be unique. All of us have this curse and blessing. So… how do we work with it? Share it?

And encourage it in others while doing our thang?


“So the fact that I’m me and no one else is one of my greatest assets. Emotional hurt is the price a person has to pay in order to be independent.”
― Haruki Murakami


This post isn’t quite… Ah, Eff it! Just go for it! Press publish and move on…


  1. “Don’t be that, be this. Don’t do that, do this. Do as I say and not as I do, and don’t do that either, but don’t not do it neither.

    Be yourself… just not like that, that’s weird and is making everyone else feel awkward.

    Be an individual, stand out from the crowd… but make sure the crowd approves.

    Do your own thing, follow your dreams… but don’t expect support if your thing, your dreams, are different from those of others.”

    This is such a timely message. I have grown SICK of being the one who always “needs fixing” and “adjusting” and “adapting”.

    From what you’ve written here, I can tell that you and I have a lot of similarities in our natal charts, and we’re close in age. I’m a 1st-house Libra Sun conjunct SN…so, Aries NN, in the 7th, widely conjunct Chiron on the Aries Point. And then there’s natal Uranus back in the 1st at 0 Libra, exactly opposite Chiron.

    So…while you struggle with your Capricorn and how much of it is truly you vs. the Narcs, I’m wending my lonely way from the lovey-dovey people-pleasing Libra, which has burned me out, toward the Courageous Peaceful Solitary Shaman-Warrior in the very first degree of the zodiac…

    …and trying to remember to bring my uniqueness (Uranus opposing from Libra in the 1st) along each day…but squared by Cap and Cancer…I have neither authority nor support (and no planets or angles in either of those signs).

    And just like Kerouac in the quote you chose, I no longer care to try to gain either…because I’m fed up with Others and Relationships — UGH! It is time to go it alone and remain true to “that of God within.”

    Except that somehow, somewhere, I will meet up with the right (inner) authority and the right support…so long as I keep on wending. And I am learning that I DO have FIRE…and that will help see me through.

    I’m really enjoying this series of yours. Keep ’em coming. And THANK YOU.


    • Thank you very much 🙂

      Uranus in Libra in the 1st – is always seeking to break free (and recently due to transiting Uranus in Aries, the urge has grown very strong, rebellious and fundamental – since it’s been squaring transiting Pluto in Cap).

      From the sounds of it, you’ve got a complex natal chart – topsy turvy (due to Libra in Aries’ house which means all the other houses are flipped) and challenging.

      Rather than go into the astro of it, I’m going musical with one of my favourite songs by an awesome songstress who inspires me, especially when I feel a bit… weighted down by stuff.

      It can take a long while to get where we’re going, but once we get there… watch out! And we’d better watch out too, as we may meet everything we’ve been searching for once we settle into who we really are and live it.

      Best wishes on your way, you will not only make it but thrive under pressure!


      • You are such a dear to reply in this way! THANK YOU! And what a *perfectly* sassy video — I love it!

        You’re very perceptive, too…I suppose my chart IS complex…it has something like 11 quincunxes, too, and half a dozen yods…do you have those, too? Yep, the U-P square hit my Sun and nodal axis bang-on in its early stages.

        And yeah, the houses are flipped, sort of (but while most of my first house is in Libra, for instance, the Asc is in late Virgo). But I’ve come to think of that as an invitation to live like a “heyoka” — so this video is indeed perfect!

        Upside down, backwards, daring to do the opposite of “common sense”… because while I embrace genuine *sense*, the common has not worked for me at all, as I am uncommon.

        Like you. :^)


        • Hi again. I was just scrolling through my “awesome quotes on Right Life” pages, and found this bit from this very blog, dated May 19, 2013 — I had copied it because it so refreshingly expressed what I’ve been feeling, too…

          “I have spent many years giving in to the will of others, pushing my ego, my needs, my feelings and thoughts to one side. Mainly because most of the others whom I met were not willing to give an inch, they were entrenched in their egos, desirous of having their needs met their way, their feelings and thoughts being all important. They wanted control, especially of other people because sharing control frightened them. I hate being trapped in a stand-off. So I give way, but that does not mean I cede control. Yet that is what people think when you give way, they don’t see you as being reasonable, as moving towards them to meet them on neutral ground, they see you as a pushover. This time I am doing things very differently. No compromise. No pushing my ego aside, time to let my ego enjoy being an ego, with all the perks and stuff that includes. Not sure if this is right, but I’m going to go with it, doubting my doubts rather than doubting myself because of them. So far, this journey through hell feels awesome.”

          By the way, here’s the link: Just another outstanding post to thank you for!


          • Thank you 🙂

            Thanks for the reminder. I have to confess to feeling a bit reluctant to revisit and reread what I’ve said and shared in my posts. It’s why I’ve never kept a diary or journal. I just keep going. If I stop, I may just melt into a puddle 😉

            But sometimes it’s useful to do that, and perhaps that’s partly why I blog. To remember stuff I figure out along the way rather than forget it and have to re-learn it, yet again.

            I wrote that post and those words while a bit drunk on an Uranus transit which pushed me out of my usual zones and into something rather liberating and awesome. It inspired me to blog and enter the fray of social media.

            A short while after I wrote this some heavy old stuff revisited me and I’ve been a bit buried ever since, trying to dig my way out. That’s almost over, a few more swings of the shovel and I may be back on track!

            I have dealt with things differently this time around, perhaps that’s why it’s taken so long… I refused to give way, and that added complications to the situation.

            We live and learn and sometimes our old self teaches our present self some good stuff 😀


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