Malashasta Makitellofaffa… and other nonsense

This human interference is getting annoying…

said my cat to me after I had, yet again, foiled its plans, snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

It had a shrew in its maw but it wasn’t trying to tame it. It had caught by the rules of the natural jungle… humans don’t respect that kind of thing, particularly when their own natural jungle impulses have been thwarted by civilisation.

There really is very little civility in civilisation, but that doesn’t stop civillians from thinking they are civilised… especially in uncivilised comparison to other civil folk or folk they consider from their civilised high horse to be uncivilised compared to them.

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Bloody humans and their unnatural faux-natural inability to accept the unacceptable laws of the natural world.

I kind of agree with my cat.

I even agree with that red ant who bit me just because as I was walking in the grass it ended up on my toe. The pain it caused made me want to kill it and kill it again. Formic acid in the veins, weeks of burning agony. Something so tiny becomes huge. I didn’t kill it.

Last week I stood inadvertently on a red ants’ nest, they were all over my feet and legs, not one bit me. This one must have had its reasons. Perhaps it’s just the weather.

It’s hot and sunny… in the UK this can create a sort of drunken frenzy in the nature of beasts both human and otherwise.

But humans don’t need heat and sun to get crazy.

We don’t need a full moon to howl and rip others to shreds.

We don’t need addictions either to make us that way – addictions can be a sign that we’re trying to escape from being that way.

Who will judge the judge?

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The other day I saw a prompt urging us to write a letter to our mom, to tell her something we’ve always wanted to tell her but couldn’t.

Why couldn’t we tell her…

…?

Over a decade ago I came across a stranger who told me why… I already knew why, but wasn’t used to strangers understanding such things…

Sometimes people don’t listen because they only hear what they want to hear – say anything to them other than what they want you to say, say what you want to say, what you want to be heard… and they just don’t and can’t hear it. You never said it even when you said it.

This stranger was a volunteer for The Samaritans. My mother had contacted their organisation (to waste their time and resources to bring about a dramatic victory in her insane war of her versus the world) to get at me, as I had cut off contact with her after she called me ‘evil’ for not giving her money (I didn’t have because I had already given her everything of mine… she wanted what wasn’t mine to give) which she wanted to give to a con artist who promised her riches beyond belief…

when things are too good to be true… guess what…

mind you, this sounds too crazy to be true… I wish it wasn’t true and that I was making this shit up because I’m crazy. I am crazy… but there’s a reason for that.

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Gomorra quote - Ciro - earthquakevery loosely translated – sometimes we need earthquakes in life to nurture our earth

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That’s just one tiny incident in a long line of nonsense… many tiny red ant bites… for no logical natural reason.

It’s easy to forgive a red ant for biting you… forgiving a human for the same thing is giving them the A-okay to do it again and again. I’ve done the forgive and forget thing…

Do you know how much of my life’s blood and time I’ve given to spinning her bad into good… you’re a good mother, you’re the greatest mother ever, I’m lucky to have you, I’m the luckiest child in the world to have such a wonderful mother who sacrifices so much for me, I can never be grateful enough, pay you back, Mommie Dearest… I would make a great spin doctor for a tyrannical despot, if I cared to be such a thing… again.

But I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of my spin… I always get sicker by making the sick seem well and the well seem sick.

I always saw myself as being sick… I could never spin that, could never spin things for myself in the way I can spin it for others. A weakness due to awareness… perhaps.

For those who find it shocking… that a child might not honour their parents, no matter what the parent does… congratulations… on being blessed with a parent who didn’t make you wish they’d some to a grisly end… and for not having the kind of experience, experience upon experience, compounding it, which pushes you to wish such a thing in spite of all your attempts to avoid ever going there. I don’t like myself for wishing that, and I haven’t wished it as much as I perhaps should… you won’t get that, but that’s fortunate…

But at what point are we allowed to cease to be delusional?

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burned bridges... whose fault?

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Malashasta Makitellofaffa… sounds like nonsense, doesn’t it?

It’s actually my hooked on phonics version of an Italian saying of sorts – Ma lascia stare, ma chi te lo fa fare – which means – Let it go, who is making you do it.

I’d love to let it go… have tried to let it go… but sometimes it won’t let go of you when you let go of it.

And my mother never lets anything or anyone go until it and they are as perfect as she wants it and them to be for her… and for her things and people are forever disappointing her impossible expectations.

So… she never lets it, you, go… and neither can you ever be allowed to let it go… let go of her, and her problems and the drama which she can create out of nothing, causing so many problems which really don’t need to happen… which can’t be let go because they go on forever.

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Gomorra quote - Imma - patiencevery loosely translated – he who waits the longest might win

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How long do I have to wait to get a victory?

I’m not after a dramatic grand slam… I know that’s fantasy.

Sure, I’d love to have that kind of fantasy come true, but… I actually prefer victories when everyone gets something out of it, even people who really… don’t deserve it because they won’t let anyone else get anything ever, they want it all and more.

My mother is like that… she hates it when anyone else gets anything, she wants it all, and she’s not happy when others get things… even if she got everything, got it all (which she has had… and she ruined it for herself by wanting more because having it all wasn’t enough) and everyone else got nothing, she’d still be unhappy… it’s never perfect enough for her.

If you still don’t get it, still find what I’m saying is… wrong… congratulations… on never having this type of experience of a parent, of being a child of that parent (who is never allowed to grow up, who is just a thing, a means to an end of something which can never end), and on being completely unable to empathise.

It’s okay… as long as you mind your own business and don’t interfere in mine.

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planting flowers...

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I’ve had enough of human interference…

enough to know how much it pisses my cat off when I do it…

we can learn but… not learn.

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Gomorra quote - Conte - fear of nothingvery loosely translated – the man who needs nothing is afraid of nothing

it should be noted that the character who said this didn’t exactly embody his quote, he just thought he did.

How human…

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*Italian quotes and music are from the TV series Gomorra – which I am currently watching. My father grew up in that kind of environment. My mother didn’t. Neither did I… but…

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“Listen friend this I’m telling you
cannot be found in the story books and these paths,
stories and promises, that leave and that remain stories
and through which you look inside life through a window,
listen friend, listen friend”

A Storia e Maria

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19 thoughts on “Malashasta Makitellofaffa… and other nonsense

  1. Maybe the lil ant that you didn’t kill, told all the other ants. πŸ™‚ I liken dealing with a narc is like being killed by never ending paper cuts. Did I quote you on this?

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  2. Hi Ursala et al: This reminds me of why I left the neighborhood buddhist meditation class – besides the fact that the woman who ran it really bugged me. She kept talking about ‘chocolate cake’ in every example of ‘letting go’ but that’s another story.

    There was a meditation in there that we should treat the world as if it were our mother – meditate on that loving kindness. I thought ‘ oh brother, have you got a wrong number here’.

    This could be slightly off topic but i hope you’ll respond or perhaps in the writing, i might sort myself out. But i’m thinking you listen to day to day details where people get romantically clobbered with a disordered person. I think I have this now in a work setting.

    I have been short staffed all year to the point where i can’t get the time i need to either mentally detach or do the real work i’ve been hired by people to do. i contracted w a company that was referred by another acquaintance to do some outstaff admin work for me (virtually) and they’d run some errands and appear on site occasionally.

    It’s only been 10 days. The owner told me she had a business conference planned for the next five days but her staff would be here to serve me and it would be a process of ‘adjustment’ Well, i’m the child of a narcissist. I’ve adjusted myself inside out my entire life to accommodate others. .

    I see red flags. And now, i know a red flag when i see it. And i can not believe i am debating whether I should just try the arrangement a a bit longer before i break the contract. My head is like a blender b/c i see red flags- yet i’m in need of help– so i’m wondering if i should let myself be bitten to death by ants in the process.

    There was an error in the very first task which i chalked up to ‘being new’ or ‘maybe they didn’t hear me clearly.’ It was important. Preparing and delivering the materials on site to a seminar i was presenting. They didn’t make sufficient participant handouts as they were instructed to. So some attendees hand no materials. Embarrassing and unprofessional.

    Two days later, they sent someone to my office to “organize’ the file room and sort through things. She was one of those people who had a story for everything, but they all go on for a little too long. One was a long story about how her mother was killed in a cross walk and the ensuing trial. Very uncomfortable. Well, I wasn’t expecting much conversation at that price per hour. But still…. that’s not the problem. that was just one more fire ant.

    I was really over loaded that day and had a deadline. I asked if she could help me just sort and organize the the top of my desk so i could get started. She didn’t say anything to the contrary so i didn’t know there was a problem with asking. I thought was paying for a service. She didn’t object or say, “i’m just here specifically for…”

    Tuesday evening i sent a simple task “make a financial table w/ 10 lines of data”. Weds 10 a.m. i got the reply: i’ll have it for you shortly. 8 hours later, at 5:45 pm, after business had closed i still didn’t have it. I emailed back with a bunch of kiss ass emoticons as to not further disturb them.

    “Hi – what’s the status on the chart from this morning?’ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ ” . I hated myself . i wasn’t smiling and i’m mailing smiley faces not to anger the gods. I was late for my presentation and they didn’t keep their word on scheduling.

    The table arrived at 7:45 pm with the email saying she was sorry, she thought she sent it – but it was still in her drafts ;-( ;-( (her emoticon) Her bad. ;-(

    But the table was totally wrong. The numbers were just plain wrong and the formatting was not uniform. i returned it with comments and a screen shot of what i received At 10:15 pm exhausted, I got an email from my virtual person starting ” I know it’s really late but… and she goes on to tell me that it must be a compatibility issue with my version of word because her chart was perfect. I sent their work product to two colleagues. They saw exactly what I saw. Again, fire ants. I’m feeling, I have one egg, one basket. I need to get along here. After all, I have signed a contract with these people.

    I wrote back saying ‘ No Problem (thinking I’m only a day late here and i do have a problem) I’ve fixed the table myself and in the future, this is what a ‘ financial table ‘ should look like and have ‘the owner call me’ when she gets back.

    I’m annoyed but totally willing to let myself be bit to death by fire ants to try to get a scrap of what i need..

    Following morning i get a phone call from the owner of the company. I think answer the phone saying Hello was the last word I got out. She started admonishing me, actually shouting. I said, “you are shouting, please lower your voice.’ ” I AM NOT SHOUTING.”

    She went on to list all of the things that I had done incorrectly.

    She said ‘we have all bent over backwards to try to help you and you are unhappy’

    Her response to their mistake at my workshop on the first day became: “I took time from my OWN day to come and bring the materials, and you were not happy about anything ” . Here i am paying top dollar for a service yet, i’m taking time from HER own day for incorrect stuff. This is from the narcissist 101 playbook.

    2) Then she told me that ‘ I had ‘derailed’ the visit to my office by asking for help with another task rather than what they came to do. I thought derailed was such a harsh word. We are speaking of mailing about paying some bills rather than organize the storage but whatever. We are talking about 3 hours in the course of a lifetime

    3) Finally, “and you are emailing my staff in the middle of the night and ‘berating them’. I tried to explain that i asked for a table the prior day and when it came back a day late it was completely wrong. “WELL, DID YOU SEND A SAMPLE? ‘ No, i didn’t. I thought Financial table was enough explanation and no one asked me ‘can you send a sample’. In so far as emailing in the middle of the night, they were the ones that emailed me at 10:15 pm.

    Apparently, it was that was my fault too. I guess i picked the company who’s motto is ‘The customer is always wrong’.

    The following day my virtual person not the owner called me. I told her, ‘maybe we should wait to start on additional projects because i had a pretty heated conversation with the owner’ where her final words were ‘I’m going back to my retreat and my email and phone will be off until Monday”

    She went on to ‘explain” the owner to me. She said, well she’s very direct, nd at times she’s almost made me cry. Where other people come to work and joke around, she never smiles. Never says anything personal. It’s just straight to work. That’s just her.

    I said, ‘well that’s fine if you don’t mind working in an environment like that. ‘ But me, I’m sensitive and when people work for me, ‘they need to use their spa voices and their professional filter’. If not, i can’t work in that environment.

    I can’t believe i’m still typing this Ursala. But even worse i can’t believe i’m still questioning if i should terminate the agreement immediately.

    I am seeing a clear problem, not just in their work product, but in the owner’s style of communication. I was the one that was inconvenienced but I received all the blame. And i’m afraid to say ‘this kind of conversation and performance is definitely out of line in a business setting.’

    This is just the kind of situation where it ends in disaster and i say in retrospect: “well i saw some red flags but i thought they’d work themselves out’

    Interested in your take. I know you are very good at seeing both sides. Thanks

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    1. Hi πŸ™‚

      Love it! The story about the meditation teacher who is all spiritual and stuff, and yet their monkey mind is obsessed with chocolate cake!

      And the whole – think of ‘mother’ and share that loving… if we shared that kind of loving… nah!

      On to the topic of this company and its boss…

      I’m old school when it comes to business – the customer is always right even if they are wrong.

      If a customer is being ‘difficult’ more often than not it’s due to them wanting the best from you so that they can provide the best to their customers. It’s a challenge to be met with upping your ante, doing better not playing the blame game because you keep failing them.

      Treating the customer like shit and expecting them to pay for it… only really worked before the financial crash (and were part of the reason for the crash) when everyone was coasting and things were topsy turvy.

      In this case it would be hard to make you, as the customer, wrong or difficult. Even if I stretch perspective until it is distorted. You just want this company to do what it promised it could do, to deliver, and earn what you’re paying them. Some companies and their bosses seem to think that when a customer and client asks them to do their job, that customer and client is being a nuisance.

      I would hazard a guess that if this boss treats you the way that she did, she’s treating her employees even worse, and there may be a ripple effect of it. The mistreated employees have no real reason to do right by their boss, in fact they may get back at their boss by messing things up or at least doing as little as possible of what is required of them. If she doesn’t care about them, why should they care about her and her company. WHat happened to you is a side effect of things going on in that company.

      I’d go with your instincts on this. Don’t be hard on yourself for cutting slack and not reacting immediately to the red flag you noticed – one red flag is just one red flag, sometimes it’s not enough to make a determination and if we’re too hasty we can cut off our nose to spite our face. Everyone is human, got to factor in the human factor.

      Frankly only a narcissist would dump a contract based on one red flag… because they’re so frigging paranoid. What you did is very human and rather lovely, you went with benefit of doubt, even though it bit you.

      Don’t break your balls over it. You may have a tendency, having grown up with narcissists, to be willing to take the blame (even if and maybe especially when it is not your fault) just to progress, to cut others slack because they can’t handle being blamed for anything, are allergic to owning up to mistakes, have a lower melting point, and you know you can handle the worst but aren’t sure about others being able to handle anything so you take it on… perhaps just because you don’t want to then have to deal with their inability to handle things. That’s a plus, even though at times it can be a minus…

      Whichever way I look at this scenario, this boss is out of line. If you accept her behaviour, especially after that phone call, it will only get worse as she will assume that she can get away with it and get paid for it.

      Trust yourself on this, don’t pick on yourself for it and for how you handled it – you gave them the benefit of the doubt and they squandered it. Now you have a confirmation and can move on from this contract without any qualms. Sometimes you have to give people extra rope…

      That’s my take on it, that your take is spot on!

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      1. ********* You may have a tendency, having grown up with narcissists, to be willing to take the blame (even if and maybe especially when it is not your fault) just to progress, to cut others slack because they can’t handle being blamed for anything, are allergic to owning up to mistakes, have a lower melting point, and you know you can handle the worst but aren’t sure about others being able to handle anything so you take it on… perhaps just because you don’t want to then have to deal with their inability to handle things. That’s a plus, even though at times it can be a minus…

        Whichever way I look at this scenario, this boss is out of line. If you accept her behaviour, especially after that phone call, it will only get worse as she will assume that she can get away with it and get paid for it.***********

        This is all so very true and it describes clearly what i’ve experienced many times in my life in personal relationships.

        While i might be able to work with errors in work product temporarily, it was the screaming and one sidedness on the call. It reminded me of my xnpd . Every time I would try to get a word in with her such as: ‘yes i wrote back after hours because the table was incorrect and also delivered 8 hours late, she interrupted me in the first few words.’ She never heard my concern. And that triggered old feelings in me.

        And the fact that her assistant told me: ‘ well she’s very direct and at times I’ve almost cried here was a sign that this person, the employee, lacked the boundaries to protect herself against that kind of behavior and was also apologizing for her employer’ – a clear sign of dysfunction there too.

        She also said of her boss: ‘wow, now i’m really worried about her, i hope nothing else is going on with her’.

        My clients have high expectations and like everyone, my work decisions have consequences so I am fairly meticulous. But i’m not working for free so i feel my clients have every right to expect an extraordinary work product.

        Your response helped me realize what and why i am afraid to tell her. I want to say: ” While I might understand a period of adjustment on workflow and work product, shouting and interrupting and blame shifting are never acceptable in any of my profession relationships”

        What I am afraid of (after being surrounded with these types my entire life) is: That she will then,again, predictably blame me for creating this situation where i set her up to fail and i will want to go through that entire cycle of defending and EXPLAINING myself to make her see my point of view. My fear us that the conversation can only have one outcome. To be made to feel as if i am the problem

        Not to mention that i’ll be stuck on my own again.

        I’m going to have to as you say ‘give myself what i want from that other person’. The validation that i made a correct assessment, with your help of course, and let it rest with that.

        Very helpful. Now i wonder what will happen to the remaining 5 months and 17 days of the contract

        Thank you Ursala.

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        1. Thank you πŸ™‚

          I totally get that not wanting to deal with her meltdown (meltdowns are so tiresome), especially as she seems to do it as her go-to weapon against others… abandoning her, confronting her, expecting her to be professional, etc. Bloody annoying, tantrum throwing, designed (mostly by happenstance… I reckon she discovered along the way that having a hissy fit got others to back down and back away… and she has no idea why they really do it) to get others to cater to her.

          Mars in Scorpio… is very useful in this sort of situations. You can wait this contract out, and while you wait you can infiltrate the under layers of it. You have inside information which you could use to your benefit. And you’ve already got an insider ally – her assistant. So, work with the assistant and employees using what you know, help them help you – screw the boss.

          Trust your experience and knowledge… and cut yourself a lot of slack. Sometimes this kind of lesson yields benefits which require patience to get them.

          I can equate some of this to what I’m going through at the moment… sometimes life gives us an opportunity to face our old fears, old scenarios and dynamics. Do things based on what we’ve learned the long and hard way. It can be excruciating… but we know we’re made of the stuff which survives, and then thrives.

          You’re awesome… maybe it’s time to see it in slow motion.

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  3. Good title, by the way. I choose which posts I’m going to read first by going through the titles. Any that just repeat the prompt title, I skip over and go for the intriguing ones…like yours. If I have time, I come back and read as many as I have time for, but my thought is that anyone who has the originality to come up with their own good title has probably written a piece worth reading.

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    1. Thank you very much πŸ™‚

      I also tend to be attracted to unusual titles, especially ones which have a phonetic or verbal resonance appeal. I have bought many books based on the title alone, simply because it got stuck in my head like a lyric from a song – I’ve read some very strange stuff doing things that way!

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  4. I can’t imagine any reasonable being who knew the facts condemning you for cutting off all communications with your mother. No, my mother wasn’t like this, but that doesn’t stop me from having total sympathy with you! I have two friends who have mothers like this and they never cease trying to please them and win their love in spite of the terrible things they’ve done to them throughout their lives. I applaud you for becoming the adult and setting that naughty child–your mother–in the corner and closing the door and locking it! I’m sure that writing this was both difficult and cathartic. Just do it! http://judydykstrabrown.com/2015/07/16/10404/

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    1. Thank you very much πŸ™‚

      You’re right, there are many who do sympathise, empathise, and who can understand.

      Many have lived it themselves – there’s an excellent book, The Illuminations by Andrew O’Hagan, which deals with this subject very poetically.

      Those who haven’t lived this parent/child dynamic often know someone who has and can see another reality through that window.

      Many can understand, sympathise, empathise, but this ability may falter when their lives overlap with those of others, when they get dragged into the fray. That’s when understanding, empathy, sympathy, may go out the window. If your parent happens to be a narcissist… they always drag others into the drama, the more the merrier in misery who loves company is concerned, which complicates matters and can cause the kind of confusion from which humans often try to escape by questionable means.

      It was cathartic to write this, however it was not that difficult as I’ve been oiling these expressive cogs for a while. When I first wrote about this it was intensely difficult to break the silence felt. But once we give voice to our innermost words… the floodgates open. And I was inspired by a recent interaction which was a match to a fuse πŸ˜‰

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      1. I agree to all you say and I identify with what you say about people who seek to draw others into the fray to back them up–probably often because subconsciously they don’t have much valid ammunition on their own! What is really maddening is when they change the story to be of advantage to themselves..So maddening.

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        1. There are times though when victims of this kind of thing “drag others into the fray” because they have spent so much time dealing with this kind of crazy they would like someone to believe their insanity. So it’s all up to what side of the reality you choose to believe.

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        2. True, a change of story can leave everyone else, all those who were dragged into it, flapping in the wind… torn to pieces, perhaps, while the one who told the story and then changed it jumps on a magic carpet and surfs the wind to new pastures πŸ™‚

          There’s a wickedly wonderful short story which was part of a ‘Hitchcock presents’ anthology series, which was titled ‘The Distributor’… I think it was called that, I read it a long time ago and the book was dug out of a musty attic library… which told the tale of a man whose life mission was to travel to perfect neighborhoods where everyone got along and sow seeds of chaos through tweaking small details in stories, therefore changing the story from harmless to harmful. As soon as his seeds of chaos took root, began to grow and then bear fruit, he would leave – his job was done, on to the next neighborhood.

          Some people are like that for others…

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  5. Hi, you must be talking about my mother, how did you know, ofcourse you know, we, the poor ones know exactly. Never being allowed to grow up, yes you could call it controlling, looking at you as if you are from outer space when you say or try and suggest something, turning up their noses as if you dropped something foul, “your” ideas all suck, only our ideas are good! yet another put down. You ask how long do you put up with it, until I was 50 that’s how long for me, but yes you are never free of them, even when they are in the earth, their critisisms still resonate during each day, catching you unawares, when those moments hit you like a punch to the stomach, they win again. Mostly I know I now win, when I know and have been told, your a great mom, wife, person, giving, definitely not judgemental, an attitude of “each to their own”, she taught me the hard way to treat people that way, yes each to your own and may you be the happiest you can be, whatever you choose is alright by me. Unable to feel safe with, I am sure many of you, know, what it is like to feel afraid as a child, of being left alone with an irrational and dangerous monster, who keeps that side of their “otherwise perfect” persona just for you and her! Life is getting better all the time now, may the memory fade!

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    1. Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      There’s an old Aussie TV Series – Mother and Son (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088573/) – which I watched a while back when I was still stuck with my mother… omg, the irony of that!… which wasn’t really ironic at the time but was… because that kind of thing always pokes you and chuckles.

      I’m never sure whether to give a whoop or a groan when someone recognises their mother in my mother – do we celebrate for having found each other, understanding what we went through and still have to go through, or do we mourn the fact that so many of us seem to have a similar parent, and that parent really… shouldn’t have been a parent because they’re basically some crazy child playing mommy or daddy to a doll (but we’re not a doll) whose head they regularly pull off just because they can.

      One of the hardest parts of coming to terms with having a narcissist as a parent is other people’s interference. It’s hard enough as it is to accept that your parent is a nutcase and their ‘love’ is toxic waste, that takes ages as it is… but then others who don’t have to put up with what you put up with or suffer the consequences weigh in on things and put pressure on you… make things more of a mess than they already are – and the narcissist dances because for some reason they get away with being crazy. Know why they get away with it, because people realise they’re crazy and focus on the person who isn’t and sort of tell the one who isn’t that it’s their job to protect others from the reality of having to face up to the fact that some parents are assholes.

      People don’t want that, so you have to hide it from them. It sort of touches upon the Trolley Problem:

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02bx2hh

      The Narcissist parent is the runaway train. Does the child of the narcissist parent sacrifice its life to save others from the reality – both the narcissist parent and others encourage this course of action from the child of the narcissist, they want to save their own skin and illusions. Or does the child of the narcissist save their own skin? Walk away, let the narcissist and others deal with real reality rather than the delusional bubble of it.

      When we walk away… we never really get away, however we can sometimes stumble upon a reality where we aren’t required to sacrifice our lives for things to work out for others.

      Life is weird, find your bliss and enjoy it as much as is humanely possible.

      Isn’t it strange when people like us as we are rather than for what they can get out of us. Rather nice πŸ™‚

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  6. I laughed to a ridiculous degree on some of these points, particularly all the congratulatory messages to those who had upstanding parents and cannot then understand your “disrespect for your elders” (as it was always relayed to me). But, I will say this, as fantastical as your “grand slam” may be, that thought shouldn’t stop you from attempting to achieve it…ya never know, albeit unlikely, it could work out πŸ˜‰

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    1. Thank you very much πŸ™‚

      I was in a funny old mood when I wrote this. Better to laugh at stuff sometimes, humour is a great leveler. I’d just received some info which made me do one of those other kind of grand slams – head on hard surface while shouty-groaning – Seriously, People!?!.

      Ah… life… with humans! πŸ˜‰

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