What Do You Want?

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What do you want?

Really, now… what do you truly want?

Do you know… really and truly know what you want?

Try to cut through the gumph of what you’re supposed to want.

Through the molasses of salesmanship behind this product or that, this must have thing, app, dooberry, or whatnot, that which you’re not suposed to be happy without, this ideal miracle cure-all and… what you’re told you want by this salesman or that pushing that or this item, abstract or real.

Through what you tell yourself you want, but… do you really want it or has it just been drummed into to you that you have to want it and if you don’t then… there must be something wrong with you. So you want it just to be right rather than wrong… but you’re still told you’re wrong, by someone somewhere whose right depends upon you being wrong even if you’re right…

What…!?! Don’t try to figure it out… your figuring things out might spoil someone else’s cake. A cake they want you to want but never eat. Or which they want you to make for them because they can’t be arsed to make it for themselves. Or…

Say yes, yes, yes to something which is a no, no, no… go on, go on, go on…

Everyone else wants it… you must want it too, right?

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I’ve met people who have all the things we’re all supposed to want and be happy when we get them… some are blissfully appreciative of their bountitude, they’re actually happy… and happy to share that happiness… partly because they know they lucked out in the lucky stakes, even if they worked hard to do make that luck happen for them… others are still pissed off, still feel they have nothing even when they have everything. They get everything they want, they get what others want… they don’t want that! That’s not what they want because getting what you want is supposed to make you happy and they excel at being miserable all the time and share that shit around.

Want is… a moveable feast or not a feast or a feast we’re kind of annoyed at having to eat or… it’s determined by where we’re at in the game of life and wanting, having, et cetera… sometime it’s always Sparta even when it’s Gomorrah! Mount Olympus isn’t a great place to be either… when you’re there.

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Try to cut to the chase of what it is you want… really want…

Good luck with that…

Subliminally we’re all being influenced in our wants… even when we think we want anything, we still feel the need to want… something even if that something is nothing.

And want we do…

And sometimes we get what we want… and don’t want what we get, because… sometimes when getting what we want is when we realise… no, we didn’t want that!

We made a mistake, we want something else… please cancel our subscription to the previous want, we’re subscribing to another thing which… well, when we get that, that’s the happiness! The cure-all! The be-all and end-all… just not the end of us we hope!

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I remember coming across one of those articles a while back which played with words, which turned disease into dis-ease, which took common sayings and wanted us to think twice about using them… about what they were actually saying and meant, what we were actually saying when using them, and what we actually meant – What a pain in the neck!

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Hello (Hell – O = O… Hell!)… or… Hell = zero if you turn everything into mathematics.

Do you have a pain in the neck? A real physical pain in your actual physical neck and… have you been calling someone else or some event in your life a pain in the neck?

Um…

Please pay attention, dear Human, to what you say and what it really means.

Do you say you ‘want’ something?

Do you know the other variations of ‘want’?

Shit!

To want something = you lack it.

So, perhaps, every time you say you want it, you’re reminding yourself that you lack it and… may be confirming that you lack it and therefore can never have it. You’re affirming your lack and you are setting yourself up to live that lack…

Um…

Confused?

Let me confuse you some more…

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If you tell yourself – Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t bite your nails, don’t… do this or that… your mind apparently doesn’t register the negative, all it hears is – Do drink, do smoke, do bite your nails, do… do this or that… do do…

No wonder it sabotages you, it is doing the very thing you don’t want it to do because it keeps hearing you encouraging it to do it.

Okay… that may be bullshit. But…

We all BS ourselves… and kind of enjoy that fertiliser…

I read that bit about the mind not beign able to handle negatives in affirmations in one of those affirmation books which explained why most affirmations don’t work (does that mean they do work?).

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Our mind is just not listening to us… ? … just as we don’t listen to others when they say – Don’t do that! Especially when we’re teenagers and the ones saying don’t do it are our parents.

Damn, that rebel gene which comes with being human!

And damn me for trying to outsmart myself and my rebel DNA.

For a while I was paranoid after reading up on the quirks of words, sayings, etc, and how our mind hears them and uses them… about saying anything, using any word or saying, or saying anything.

I kept trying to find the perfect formula… but my mind knew what I was up to and… rather liked messing with my messing with it. Go on, Stupid, try to outsmart me!

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My mind is smarter than the rest of me…

…it may not be smarter than you, but that’s beside the point. Like on a map which tells you where you are. You are here. Smartsville. I’m there too but my experience of Smartsville isn’t the same as yours. Maybe you live there. I don’t and I’d never be accepted as a resident in such an elitist community. I’m the neighbour who moves in (no one knows how I pulled that off) and causes all your house prices to plummet due to my presence in your smarty-pants neighbourhood.

Yes, I’m being a smarty-pants… bet you can out-smart my pants with yours!

I’ve lost the plot… was there a plot to begin with?

Let’s pretend there was…

Recently Andy White, of the bodacious Andywhiteblog, emailed me this link – The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

Cool… I suffer from all of that! (You have to click on the link to find out what all of that is… maybe… and if you suffer from all of it too or don’t ’cause you’re insufferable).

Words… love them, hate them… used in so many different ways by so many different people… determined to be different… like other different people.

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It’s all inspiring… or not.

Over to you!