What if who you are and who you wish for you to be met?
I’d like to answer one of the Daily Post’s prompts properly…
(maybe you wish I’d do that too… I don’t know, I can’t focus on your wishes when I’m too distracted by the flashing lights and blaring horns of mine)
The me who wishes that isn’t the me who writes my posts… so that wishing me can suck the writing me’s cyber pen, and hopefully it will act as a baby’s dummy and shut that me up for awhile… it’ll probably spit it out!
The me I’d like to be would like for the me I am to be less of the me I am and be more of the me I am not.
This is… never going to happen, I’ve tried that in the past, I put a lot of effort into it, nature won over anti-nature’s dreams for nature to be unnatural… but the me who wants me to be who I am not keeps hoping.
I keep telling that wishful thinking me that hope is a bitch in such a scenario.
That hope in this case is the worst evil in Pandora’ box… that hope is Keyser Soze.
But… that part of me is not listening to the other part of me, because it doesn’t want to hear what I’m saying. It wants me to lie… and then it will get upset with me for lying.
That’s how hope works sometimes…
Question is – Take two main characters from two different books (either fiction or nonfiction) and introduce them to, or have them meet, each other. What would happen next?
What happens when worlds collide?
Do things go boom or do they go… pfft? Is there a middle ground where boom and pfft are sort of mutual okay meh?
Inquiring minds would perhaps like to know, maybe not, probably have too many tabs open while doing a million other things at the same time…
Lots of people post the quote above on their social media sites, adding comments along the lines of – I’d rather know the truth… – because when people lie to them they get very upset. It is upsetting, especially if we preferred the lie to the truth and thus believed it rather than questioned it. They claim to hate liars, don’t we all, even liars hate other liars… but… are they lying to themselves about that?
We do tend to lie to ourselves quite a bit… but those aren’t classified as lies, not when we lie to ourselves, they’re only lies when someone else does them to us… and we catch them doing it.
I lie to myself on a regular basis. What I mean by that is… I lie to the me who can’t accept me as I am.
That me wants me to be who I am not, and is such a critical nag… I lie to it just to shut it up so it will leave me alone to be who I actually am without its constant critique about that.
Yes, yes, I am going to become who I am not for your whiny sake, and live a fake life as a false me because that’s your dream for me… to be all that I can be but am not actually… if you imagine it for me then so shall I be…
I’ll do it tomorrow (that me who doesn’t want me as I am hasn’t quite figured out that tomorrow never comes. Phew!)
Sometimes I think the people who write this kind of thing have no self-reflective awareness or just don’t get how karma works. Wishing that karma would punch someone else… is collecting karma which may end up punching you, not necessarily for lying, but there are other things…
Of course, I’ll have to deal with that me’s disapproval and disappointment, but I can fob them off with more lies they’ll believe because they want for them to be true more than they want what is true to be true.
That buys the real me time to just be as I am, and spend some time with the other parts of me who encourage me to be me as is…
Time to end this… the me who wants me to be who I am not keeps bitching about the length of my posts, as well as other aspects of blogging to which I am never going to conform… but it keeps hoping.
Every now and then I give it a small victory. I probably shouldn’t do that, it encourages its delusional folly… but this time I agree (as I’m hungry and the sooner I end this, the sooner I can stuff my face with those things the me who doesn’t like me as I am probably will tell me I shouldn’t eat).