The Gilded Caged

The Gilded caged


“Preheat oven. Remove sleeve and film. Place on a baking tray in centre of oven until golden brown and piping hot. Allow to stand for one minute.” – ye cooking instructions for the bird in ye gilded cage.


Have you ever felt as though…

You should have said No when you said Yes… or Yes when you said No?

Or you said No but someone decided that your No was a Yes…

Or you said Yes but someone heard No…

… and then gave you all sorts of emotional blackmail hell for it because they were not listening to what you were saying, they heard what their mind was telling them that you said which is actually what they expected to hear because they’re a medieval mofo…

… and they spiraled from there because…

… that’s what they do, and you’re stuck in a cage having to put up with what they do.


“But she was so happy in her gilded cage, wasn’t she? She ate well, slept well, enjoyed herself She lacked nothing. And then, look, a bunch of mental cases turn her away from her happiness and send her to — how did you put it? — to ‘blow herself away’?

The happiness you offered her smelled of decay. It repulsed her, you get it? She didn’t want your happiness.

Do I have to draw you a picture to make you understand, or do you refuse to look reality in the face?”
― Yasmina Khadra


They trapped you in a cage because everyone else kept flying away when they did this, so they learned a lesson from it – keep the next person in a cage so they can’t flee…

…and make that cage pretty… put some frigging bling on it…

…because that cage is one they’re trapped in too, but you don’t know that and neither do they.

Or something like that.

If people are smothered by love… why would they ever want to escape? It is love, after all…


“…knowledge and ‘the facts’ face off against illusion, against what might be – and if we aren’t truly clear on who we are and in our connection to reality… …then we may come out the worse for it.” – Julie Demboski


Is it love… or something else?

Have you ever felt as though you have a grid wrapped around you?

A restrictive thing which somehow cages you in.

Try as you might to break free of its boundaries, it’s made of a flexible material which just shapes itself around you, keeping you trapped within its boundaries no matter what you do to evade its perimeter security system.

Have you ever wondered how and why it does that?

Is it all really someone else’s fault, is someone else the only lightning rod of blame, is the Machiavellian brilliance of your captor truly that superior?

Of course, it is…

or we might get lambasted for doing something which is bad…

or otherwise you might have to consider the possibility that you’re not sure if you want to escape from it, which may be why it is so hard to elude, evade, and break free from it.

You’re in a gilded cage… even when there is nothing luxurious about its bars… there is a certain luxury to it.

Somehow it’s safe… safer than what lies beyond…


left unsupervised



  1. Thank you for this bittersweet post. I was literally just starting to tear up over my life imploding, when this popped into my email box. God/Fate/The Universe works in mysterious ways. Personally I do think God uses email. These ‘coincidences’ keep happening.

    I walked away from my parents in June. I’m wondering when the sharp pain of knives in my back will stop hurting so much, when the tears will stop.

    I spoke with my grandmother today. We haven’t always been on the best of trends thru life. But she’s about to turn 89. She’s forgotten those things. But she was horrified her son–my father–did what he did to us. I don’t blame her. She and my departed grandfather were very strict (He was in the Navy for several wars). But they didn’t make him cruel.

    It’s hard talking to family who are still talking to us(who we didn’t cut out). But she sounded so happy to hear from me. That made me feel good. I felt loved.

    I don’t know where this is going but thank you for putting yourself and your thoughts out there. They matter.


    • Thank you very much 🙂

      I’m one of those people who sees everything which happens as happening for a reason. So, I would see receiving an email which touched upon something I was focusing on as being relevant and a ‘coincidence’ which wasn’t a ‘coincidence’. If something that occurs answers a question I was asking or gives me information about an issue I was exploring, then it’s all part of a whole. It’s a ripple in the stream of life which is part of the whole flow.

      I’m not traditionally religious, but I’m not traditionally not religious either. The universe works through us, with us, for us, because we’re a part of it and therefore it’s all interlinked.

      I like the idea of atoms all working together as individuals to evolve, singularly and collectively.

      If something keeps happening and gets your attention – pat attention to it and what it means for you. Pay particular attention to what you think it is saying to you, as our inner world uses the outer world to help get information and message across to us. Our inner world tends to use abstract code, which we may only be able to decipher through somethign exterior which translates it for us.

      Sometimes the way we figure things out in our lives is by going with something that catches our attention or fancy, and following the train of thought or feeling, or both, which it inspires.

      I often write my posts based on some incident which triggered a flow of feeling and thought. This particular post came form a recent trip and random things which happened during that time that came together with other life things going on before that event.

      Follow the trail of your own story, as that’s how we figure out what our story is about and so much more 🙂


  2. I felt this with my well off parents, as they gave me a very comfortable life i had to accept to be what they wanted me to be.Mille scuse perché non ti ho risposto ma ho avuto un colloquio, spero tanto che qualcosa cambi, potrebbe essere l’inizio di una nuova vita, quello che resta…ho una traduzione, ti scrivo appena mi libero, ma non ti dimentico e sono grata per la tua presenza, scusami ancora. xxx


    • Me too, re: growing up with my parents, and how I had to be grateful for what I had because of many reasons which had nothing to do with me.

      Non ti preoccupare di tutto il resto, prendi cura di te ❤


  3. Oh yes. I get the whole yes and no and cage thing. I was in there one time. It was a real struggle to get out. I tried to be firm but gentle about it, but it all blew up anyway. I didn’t understand, then.

    A good post.:)


    • Thank you 🙂

      I guess the cage teaches the bird to appreciate flying and being free, and many other things we don’t understand until life gives us an experience which inspires us to learn.


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