To Be With Him or To Be Him… what’s this attraction truly about?

Clint Eastwood

“It takes tremendous discipline to control the influence, the power you have over other people’s lives.” – Clint Eastwood


Ah, fictional characters! So easy to fall in love with, to love, and never have to deal with any of the icky, sticky, and tricky side of love. They’re so reliable, always there for you, never reject you, and they think you’re great because your love for them keeps them alive.

Yet… that kind of love is unrequited. They can never love you the way that you love them… sure you can pretend that they do, pull them out of fiction and imagine them being real, but they’re not real even when they seem more real than real people.

However, even though they aren’t real, the love you have for them is, and so are you.




What we love about those fictional beings who become the object of our affection is… what is it? What does our real love for them tell us about ourselves, who we are? Are we loving ourselves through them, perhaps?

The Daily Post asked todayYou have to spend one day as or with your favorite fictional character. Which one would it be and what would you do?

Which coincides rather nicely with the series I’m doing – The Mistakes of Attraction – wherein I’m sort of exploring attraction, and what it reveals about or means to us personally.

This series is inspired by a question which olivebranch asked in a comment recently on this blog – What type of people are you most attracted to now?

Today I’m sharing a few of the fictional characters which I’ve been attracted to in the past.


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I didn’t want to be with them or them with me, I wasn’t interested in a romantic liaison.

I wanted to be them, but not to shed my skin and put theirs on.

What I really wanted was to be more like them.

I related to their character’s characteristics, their behaviour and traits, their story. They were expressing a way to be which appealed to me, and my love for them, my attraction opened a way for me to learn from them, to mature what was a growing seed within.


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Take for instance, Clint Eastwood, and the quote I coupled with his picture above. I chose that quote because being aware and responsible about the power you have over the lives of others has always been an issue which has made itself important in my life.

I could have just as easily chosen this quote of his:

I have a very strict gun control policy: if there’s a gun around, I want to be in control of it.”

But not because I want to be the only one with a gun, not because I want to have that kind of power. That quote speaks to me of the child I was stuck in a family with two adults who were often in a Mexican stand-off, or guns were blazing, bullets were flying. They always had the guns, I did not, and I often got shot, lay on the floor mortally wounded, bleeding profusely only to be told that I shouldn’t bleed, and wasn’t allowed to be wounded. I just wanted control of the guns, so the threatening to shoot or shooting would stop.
They were very irresponsible with their power, over me and over others…I did not want to be that way.
Many of the fictional characters to whom I was attracted were people who were disciplined in their use of power, and they often fought against abuses of power.
Ultimately though, all I wanted was just to be myself…
… and my attraction to those characters helped me to help myself find my way through a mess of messages, mostly from real people who kept telling me not to be myself, who kept wanting me to be whoever it was they needed me to be for them, to who I actually am.
What attracts me the most to fictional characters or real people is… authenticity (which is a funny thing to say about fictional characters, but… sometimes they do it better than we do it, make it simpler to understand).
What about you? What the story of your relationship with fictional characters?
ps. I know Clint Eastwood isn’t fictional, but I only know him through his the characters he has portrayed.