“You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.”
― T.H. White
Sometimes what you say can…
drive a stake into someone’s heart.
At times their heart is your heart too. You’re stabbing them because you’re stabbing yourself… but you don’t notice how much you’re hurting yourself because you’re focusing the pain elsewhere, on inflicting it rather than having it inflicted, deflecting the pain, turning it into a semblance of power to mitigate a sense of powerlessness.
Perhaps you don’t mean to hurt them, they’re collateral damage for the damage you’ve incurred. It’s not your fault you’re doing what you’re doing, this is the result of what was done to you by someone else… you can’t help it (but apparently everyone else is supposed to have better control than you).
That can work for other body parts too.
Shoot someone in the foot… you’re shooting your own foot too. It may not seem that way, you may ignore the ricochet… it’s easy to do… or the fact that you stood on their foot to keep it still so you could shoot it…
Why do we do that? Can we ever explain it?
Sure, we can give answers, some of which are plausible and authoritative (some braniac said so after some highly important sounding study… ergo it is the law, golden rule, last word… until it is debunked). We can analyse the eff out of it and wrap it up in theoretical tongue-wagging which pleases our mind by allowing it to strut its stuff while trampling on the stuff of others, or using the stuff of others to cover damp patches and cracks in the structure of our ego’s building.
When we poo and pee, we flush it all away, not a care in the world for what happens to our fertiliser once we don’t have to see it or smell it anymore… it’s not our responsibility anymore… until the system fails, backs up, makes us aware that there is a limit… to how much others will put up with the gunk we don’t want and pass on because… we don’t want this sullying our sensitivity and Utopian dreams, thus it must become someone else’s problem… about which they are not allowed to be sensitive or complain that it’s spoiling their Utopian dream.
But what if they don’t want it and return it to us (with added extras due to interest and the way stuff tends to pick other stuff up)?
When we stab others with our stakes… we may think we’re killing a Vampire, so we may be of the opinion that we’re justified in doing what we’re doing, saying what we’re saying, and… we may be… but are we? Are we really a noble Vampire-slayer or… are we just… wagging… because something wagged us.
You can never be sure if your version of reality and everyone in it is cooperating with your version… things and people usually don’t, they have their own version and it can clash with ours causing us and them much nuisance.
Your Vampire may not see themselves as a Vampire. They may see you as the Vampire and… wonder WTF you’re doing stabbing them with a stake when that kind of weapon doesn’t work on them.
You may have not noticed, but… it didn’t work. They didn’t turn to ash. You’re not rid of the problem you think they’re causing for you in your perfect world (which would be perfect if only people like that didn’t exist).
You also may not have noticed that what you stabbed them with… actually stabbed you more than it stabbed them.
Take, for instance, a recent comment on one of my posts:
“What a load of hairy fairy bullcrap! Narcissism is a spectrum disorder. In the extreme it is pathological and destructive. Every individual has a choice about the traits or qualites they value and wish to incorporate into their personalities. What is evil is the bad choices many have made. What is the right way to live? Simple…look at the RESULTS of your personality! Have you brought peace, compassion, hope and encouragement into the world? If you care you will struggle to change…if you don’t care you are simply surrendering to selfishness and pride…which is the true “evil”. Herein lies the solution folks!…adopt true humility and altruism and pathological narcissism will die. What makes one evil is the remorseless conduct of one who chooses to remain a bad narcissist… because they are haughty and selfish. They will pay for their actions…not ONE pathological narcissist has ever had a truly happy life or good ending. NPD is the spiritual cancer of this world…and it is pandemic.”
What do you notice about it?
Skip the social small talk, listen to the wag…
Does this person’s words live up to their rule for living? Are they practicing what they preach?
It’s so much easier to know what is wrong with others and to tell them (with swagging wag). To define what is erroneous with the world (according to us). Then to make up some rules for how it could all be swishy-swoosh… fine and dandy (for us) if only everyone else would do what we want them to do… but which we’re not necessarily going to do because… it’s rather difficult to put into practice when it’s you, so many complexities, obstacles, reasons why not to do it… others should find it simple enough though, right?
“listen: there’s a hell
of a good universe next door; let’s go”
― E.E. Cummings
It’s nice to be back to blogging again… I’ve missed the rub and the balm.
I’ve learned a lot since I first started this crazy adventure and experiment (I see everything that way, especially myself)… and I’m learning some new things…
the break has given me some intriguing perspective.
(this song is stuck in my head atm… and so it goes)