Have you ever done something and…
perhaps thought it was what you should be doing at the time, but…
awhile later you second guess yourself and wish you had a second chance,
but it’s too late,
the moving finger wrote and you can’t travel back in time to do things differently.
So what do you do when you think you’ve made a mistake? Do you:
a) Try to turn your wrong into a right, justifying what you did, making excuses for yourself until you become entrenched in your position of being right… which will mean that if you get a second chance you may have to repeat your mistake because now you’ve made your mistake the thing that you must do as the wrong is now a right and anything else would be a wrong.
b) Move on and pretend it didn’t happen, use that skill known as selective amnesia and hope it’s a virus that others catch too, and that they will forget what you did as you have forgotten it (but you haven’t really forgotten it, have you… it’s a spikey regret stuck in your gut).
c) Promise yourself that if you can you’ll make amends somehow, by learning from the experience and bringing what you’ve learned to bear upon what you do next, and if you ever find yourself in a similar position, gifted with a rare second chance, you’ll remember this mistake and the lesson it taught, then let it inspire you to not make that mistake again, make another one instead…
“Make your mistakes, take your chances, look silly, but keep on going. Don’t freeze up.”
― Thomas Wolfe
In January, SunDragonLady, very kindly nominated me for a One Lovely Blog Award.
I did thank her, I was grateful, and I also passed it on…
the way I passed it on was not the way you’re supposed to do it, I said as much in that post, I said a lot of things in that post, it was a very rambling piece and… I regretted it later, but I’d done it and couldn’t undo it (sure you can delete posts, but I tend to leave my mistakes where they are so I can’t and won’t forget them, and they’ll prod and poke me until I learn something).
The part which I regretted the most about not doing things properly was that I robbed my nominees of the fun of receiving a blog award, or even knowing that they’d received one.
I always used to think that those who were ungracious about being given awards were spoilsport grinches… and yet here I was being a spoilsport grinch. There’s a curse which haunts me – whenever I get all judgmental about others, I tend to end up experiencing the others’ side of that judgement. It’s a rather useful curse as it promotes understanding through personal embarrassment.
“It is better to know how to learn than to know.”
― Dr. Seuss
Shortly after I published that post I read someone else’s beautifully gracious and enthusiastic post about receiving a blog award nomination. They did things properly and it was wonderfully inspiring.
It reminded me of when I was a new blogger and received my very first blog awards, how I felt, how encouraging it was, how exciting it was to pass it on (as well as terrifying because I’m very shy and informing a blogger that you’ve nominated them is like inviting someone to dance when you’re a wallflower. Dancing is a delight, but those steps before you do it and lose yourself in it are hard to take).
It also made me promise myself that if I ever received another nomination (which I doubted I’d ever get after how I received the last one), I’d do things properly.
That someone else who inspired me to be a better person (at least where receiving blog award nominations are concerned) if I ever got the chance to be one was – SurvivedNarc – who also happens to be the person who has given me the chance to be one, by giving me a One Lovely Blog Award nomination… a second chance.
“Someone asked me the other day if I had my life to live over would I change anything.
My answer was no, but then I thought about it and changed my mind.”
― Erma Bombeck
The rules are as follows:
1 – Thank the person that nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Thank you very much SurvivedNarc!
2 – List the rules.
The rules are as follows:
- Thank the person that nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
- List the rules.
- Display the award on your post of the award.
- List seven facts about yourself.
- Nominate (up to) 15 bloggers for this award and comment on one of their posts to let them know you have nominated them.
3 – Display the award on your post of the award.
4 – List seven facts about yourself.
- I’m female (but have been mistaken for male sporadically throughout my life which probably has a lot to do with my attitude, behaviour, and having itty bitty titties)
- 47 (this will be the second year I’m 47 as sometime last year I forgot I was 46 and added a year. I suck at math but I absolutely ace being in my 40’s, love it!)
- I can speak three languages really badly (including English which in theory is my mother tongue, but in practice it’s nonsense)
- When you first meet me you will most likely think I’m one of the nicest people you’ve met (in the last hour), but at some point you’ll begin to suspect that I’m not as nice as you thought I was, and eventually you’ll run away screaming (am I joking?)
- The reason you’ll run away screaming may have something to do with not knowing if I’m being silly or serious. Even I don’t always know which is which, but I’m used to it and I can’t run away screaming from myself (I’ve tried, several times, all the time)
- I’m a natural redhead (yes, the curtains match the carpet, and they’re both shaggy). I happen to be that rare (according to people who study this kind of important to the future of the human race thing) type of redhead with brown eyes, but if I shine a really bright light into them they look (horrified) and green.
- I’m covered from head to toe in freckles (it’s a redhead thing but not exclusive to our club) and if you ever suggest that I should use vanishing cream on them you’ll end up like the last person who said that (no, I did not touch a hair on her perfectly freckle-less body, I simply stared at her in silence. I have been informed that my eyes feel like lasers boring through flesh and bone when in stare mode, and that my silence can feel similar to being placed in a vacuum. I use this power for evil sometimes. Some people find my eyes kind and my silences to be a reassuring haven where they can talk and I will listen without judging… unless you say something stupid about my freckles)
5 – Nominate (up to) 15 bloggers for this award and comment on one of their posts to let them know you have nominated them.
I’m going to nominate the ones I did before, that includes SurvivedNarc, plus an extra one.
I will let everyone know what I’ve done (sometime soon, the pingbacks will do it for me first), what you do with what I’ve done is up to you.
I’m linking to the blogs and to posts of theirs which I’ve enjoyed reading:
- Survivednarc – Passive. Polaroids. Plea to the Universe. (Dating) (I know you nominated me and now I’ve nominated you, you can break the cycle if you want to… or perhaps keep this nomination on a shelf for later. You don’t have to pass it on immediately)
- Apensiveheart – Life Pre and Post Narcissist. The questions.
- Tellingheavysecrets – Reparenting Myself
- Juliedemboski – Focus on Black Moon Lilith and Focus on Pluto Square Black Moon Lilith (I have this aspect in my natal chart and because of where it is (10 & 1st houses) it relates to how I handle things like receiving nominations and whether I do it properly or not)
- Emergingfromthedarknight – Loneliness
- Nedhickson – Twenty one years ago today, something went incredibly right
- Robertmgoldstein – WTF?
- Ceenphotography – Share Your World – 2015 Week #52 (I never participate in these because I forget to, but I love what Cee does with her blog, I love reading Cee’s answers to her own questions, and looking at the soul held within her images)
- Nutsrok – Bears Just Ain’t That Bad and Mother and the Rapist
- Nelkumi – Holiday and RIP conscience III
- Sparksfromacombustiblemind – Straitjacket
- Iwontdiet – Fayotte VS Bully Society
- Lynettedartycross – For J
- Amommasview – You May Know Me
- Narmadhaa – What is The Chaos Within?
.Thank you very much all of you for sharing!