Why am I so uncontrollably attractive without even trying

These words

why am I so uncontrollably attractive without even trying

caught my eye.

Did they catch your eye too?

And what happened in your mind when they did?

What did you think?

How did you react to what you saw?




Did you want to see the person who wrote them to either confirm or deny their I’s perception of itself?

Did you feel a need to see with your own eyes this uncontrollably attractive being to believe them?

Were you drawn to them because you harbour a secret desire to find them controllably unattractive,

and then perhaps to tell them as much

to knock them off their pedestal and return their feet to the ground,

or even bring them to their knees to kneel before someone who does not find them to be uncontrollably attractive.


“Mysteries of attraction could not always be explained through logic. Sometimes the fractures in two separate souls became the very hinges that held them together.”
― Lisa Kleypas


But surely

if their words drew your eye to them,

and subsequently intrigued your mind enough to compel you to seek them out,

to see them,

then they have done what they said they are,

and have proved their statement.

As long as the parameters for the definition of attractive include anything which attracts your attention,

and the meaning of uncontrollably is open to impulse.

If someone says – I look awful – it will get you to look at them,

perhaps not in the same way as if they’d said – I look beautiful – but the cue to look at them is still there, and so is the reflex to take the cue.


“One rarely falls in love without being as much attracted to what is interestingly wrong with someone as what is objectively healthy.”
― Alain de Botton


Those words were found in the search term section of the stats of my blog,

so I can’t direct you to the person who said them in type,

I can’t direct myself there either,

and I have to admit I’m rather relieved that I can’t.

I love the mystery of it,

of not knowing what the seeker was seeking,

why they asked that question,

and all the things which that kind of mystery inspires,

the thoughts, feelings, sensations,

the impulses, reactions,

the musings,

options and possibilities,

the stories,

witnessing a moment turn into many more,

the cornucopia flowing out of one question.


“That’s how it is when a person develops an attraction toward someone. He’s nowhere, then suddenly he’s everywhere, whether you want him to be or not.”
― Colleen Hoover


A question like that…

can make you come face to face with yourself,

if you’re willing to be a watcher of self as well as a being of self.

Sitting as a shadow on a shelf,

you observe,

the self being the self,

and see all those details which weave together,

threads of thought, emotion, abstraction,

light and dark,

forming the material of you.


“I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends.”
― Joan Didion




  1. Well, none of the above…When I hear people saying such things, it just gives me a hint of their own perception and image, which is absent from my expereince but some how it represents a redflag to me and i prefer to be cautious and stay put, as usually those kinds of vision don’t interact well with my kinds.But no, i don’t find it curious or interesting or..attractive! i like your eye, it makes me think of the om sign.


    • The eye is my favourite doodle. 🙂

      I love it when people share a perception for which I have no reference point, it’s the beginning of a journey of discovery of a new way of seeing. I get frissons. I sometimes get very bored of seeing things from my point of view.

      One of the things which intrigued me about that search term was imagining being in that position – of being uncontrollably attractive – and all the problems it might pose. It almost sounds like a disease if you hear it in a certain way. The symptoms of such a disease would include attracting all sorts of people and having no control over the attraction these people have to you – the people themselves may not know why they’re attracted, and may not be able to control it either. What a strange chaos. You’re basically a magnet and all these people keep being drawn to you – but why? What do you do with a natural ‘talent’ like that?

      I did wonder if perhaps it was a line from a film or a quote from a book.

      I wondered a lot of things about it, and enjoyed the wandering wonderings.

      I do understand your caution in relation to something like that, as it could be the sign of someone who is up themselves and totally deluded about what is actually going on around them. A waiter comes to their table to ask them if they’re ready to order and they think the waiter is in love with them. Sigh! Not again, why does this always happen to them!?!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I initially thought it was a joke. My M says things like that which I find uncontrollably funny. 🙂 He can be very sharp and witty.

    But, it’s an interesting question. Why was that someone’s search term? Maybe this person was also making a joke or looking for one.

    On the other hand, maybe not. As seashell says, I think that I might take this a red flag.

    Btw, I love your waiter comment. I can smell the restaurant, hear the sigh and see the waiter’s eye roll. I had a nice little mini-film in my head.:)


    • It is the sort of thing someone might say jokingly. I say things like that when I’m being facetious. I usually do it deadpan and occasionally people take me seriously which makes it all the more amusing 😉

      I think it’s because they added ‘uncontrollably’ to it that it stands out for me. If they’d just searched for – why am I attractive… – I’d probably have thought that someone was trying to figure out what makes them attractive to others, which is something that many people wonder. However people usually tell us why they’re attracted to us and/or attractive to them, so we often know without needing to ask, but we may still reflect upon it and maybe investigate it.

      Perhaps there’s a word missing from it which would explain it. I did run it as a search (so now I’m someone who has used that as a search term too) to see what came up as results. I wondered if it was a popular quote as characters in films and books sometimes say things like that, and I was curious to see which of my posts came up that landed them on my blog and therefore registered that search term in my stats. It was the Magnet for Narcissists post, so maybe that’s what they were actually asking.

      These sort of puzzles are my brain exercises 😉


      • Hahaha. 🙂 This comment would be even better if, while you’re saying it, you’re dressed in a ragged t-shirt, worn shorts and have mop slippers on your feet. And oh yes, smoking a cigar. It’s the kind of thing M pulls off every now and then and I almost pee myself laughing. I find the deadpan delivery hysterical, as well.

        It is the kind of thing that might come from a movie. And people do wonder what makes them attractive (or unattractive). On the face of it though, it seems a pretty egotistical thing to say.

        I might look up your Magnet for Narcissists piece again. I sometimes go back to your posts after a period of time because I often will see things that I didn’t the first time, and I like to read the new comments, as well. 🙂


        • A cigar was my very first smoke as my father smoked them and so I decided to try one…

          Fashion sense wise I’m in the category of – Did I remember to put pants on!?! – if I did it’s a result beyond my wildest dreams 😉

          I love digging through the archives of blogs… just not my own… because I’m never sure what I’ll find there (that part can go either way).


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