There’s a lot of talk online about a certain fellow named Donald Trump…
There was a bit of a discussion about him last night offline in my home…
Usually when people start talking about Trump I switch off. If its online I simply click away, if its offline my ears do that thing which certain creatures do with their eyes to protect them from getting poked (covering them with a nictitating membrane) and my face settles into an expression of glazed disinterest.
I probably shouldn’t be doing that because the conversations which the Trump issue has inspired people to have is also raising people’s awareness… but how long will their awareness be raised and how deeply does what they’ve been made to notice go – will they apply what he has inspired for them in their own lives, will that raised awareness stay raised and continue to raise itself or will it be limited to this person, this problem and be forgotten as soon as this chaotic moment has subsided and things have returned to ‘normal’ or some other person becomes the focus of outraged attention.
most people think they know the enemy, and may well know the enemy… and get stuck knowing who the enemy is and pointing the enemy out and figuring out ways to deal with that enemy who is at the end of their finger, and form clubs with others who point as they do to defeat that enemy at the end of the finger… what happens if that enemy is defeated? Usually a new enemy needs to be found… and who is that new enemy, the finger, like the bottle, spins…
But the tendency to switch off and settle into glazed disinterest is a reflex which comes from… having grown up with people who aren’t dissimilar to Trump. His rhetoric, his behaviour, his expressions (I know that scrunched up face with slitty eyes look oh so well… I’ve seen it hundreds of times and heard the person doing it tell me what it means), his narcissistic tendencies, his brazen belief that he can just keep going like a crazed energiser bunny and say, do, whatever he pleases, and if caught out…. just scream and shout, point fingers elsewhere, and enable distraction tactics galore until everyone is so confused that their heads fall off and roll away taking any logic, reason or sense away with them… is so familiar to me that frankly he’s my ‘normal’.
I grew up with Trumps… I didn’t like it then and don’t like it now, but it’s family-familiar so you get enured to it even if you know that’s not a ‘good’ thing.
I grew up with ‘bad’ people… who thought they were good and that everyone else was bad.
That look Trump does = pain, the pain of dealing with everyone else who is a pain in the ass. The smartest person in the room smarting from being surrounded by idiots.
My father used to do that expression all the time. He also used to share with ‘insiders’ the meaning of that look, because people like Trump have to talk, brag, blurt, bleat… but they keep certain things only for the eyes and ears of those they ‘trust’ (they don’t effing trust anyone but if you’re ‘family’ you are bound by a non-Mafia Omerta).
If you grow up with narcissists – this is the code of conduct expected of you as a member of their faction
Do you know how many years I have spent trying to ‘out’ and ‘expose’ people who are similar to Trump… warn others about them… in my own tiny portion of this world (nothing big for anyone else, just big for me)… only to be told that I was the crazy one, the disruptive and dangerous element, and that I should shut up, dig a hole, kill and bury myself, because others liked this person and the crazy, wild and awesome dreams they were selling.
I lived in a world populated by ‘Team Trump”… although the ‘Trump’ in that instance wasn’t this Trump. It was just people like him… people like him aren’t rare (they’re a certain type of rare while not being totally rare – there are fewer of them than of the rest but… one of them feels like a million of them if you happen to be around them), we just don’t notice them until who they are and what they’re doing affects us personally and threatens our safety and security.
Of course the same people who would tell me to go fly a kite… often ended up much later on singing a very different tune – once those crazy, wild and awesome dreams which they were promised by the greatest salesman in the world didn’t pan out. Not only didn’t they pan out but the supporters of the salesman got royally screwed over in the process – and that’s why they’ve changed their tune. Disappointed expectations due to dreams not coming true, promises broken and ideals forced to face the real, can change an allegiance, make loyalty shatter, and cause support to back off and become antagonistic.
People tend to only whine when the days of wine and roses runs out and becomes water and thorns.
What you have to accept if you’re trying to explain narcissists to others who haven’t experienced a narcissist… and those who know one may not want to know they know one
Those who are shocked and incensed by Trump, can’t believe that someone like him exists and can get away with their existence… and not just get away with it but advance as far as he has with it… are also my ‘normal’.
That kind of ‘normal’ worries me more than the Trump kind of ‘normal’.
Those kind of people worry me far more than the Trumps of this world do because… they are good people, they’re the careful ones, trying to be empathic, compassionate, caring, kind, decent human beings, the ones who try hard to do the right thing (and it hurts them to be that way, they know it, but they keep trying to do it and be it), live the correct way… they’re you and me, they’re the mainstream, the vox populi, the average human (of which there are far more than the Trumps).
Why do they need to be shocked and incensed before they become aware… that the Trumps of this world are selling snake oil and profiting because of it… someone is buying it for them to profit from it and that someone is the good people who only become shocked and incensed when they can no longer ignore, deny and put up with the person who is doing the selling.
Why do we put up with so much before we say ‘No!’ and mean ‘No!’?
The answer to that is not as complicated as it may seem… think about it… think about how much you learn from day one of life on earth to put up with, ignore, deny, etc…
all those ‘No’s’ you said which you eventually turned or were turned for you into a ‘Yes’ because you doubted, dithered, indecisively deferred or were dismissed. dissed, distressed to learn that your choice was not an option for someone…
sure there are moments when you question it, but then you silence the questioning due to how much it frazzles the mind one way or another.
Question things and it opens a can of worms… which wriggle and jiggle and make reality warp.
It makes you uncomfortable… it makes others uncomfortable and their discomfort makes you uncomfortable.
Reality is strong but also fragile – its fragility is part of its strength. Because we fear we create very strong bonds… question those bonds and the fear which was held in a box made of those bonds threatens to break out, break loose, cause chaos… and we’re supposed to keep calm regardless of anything else.
People like Trump rely on us valuing calm over chaos (while he values chaos over calm because he uses it against others), safe-guarding safety (a safety which he threatens to get us to do what we do when safety is threatened), maintaining the status quo no matter what the status actually is (change the status and the status quo-ers react), not letting fear out of the box (let it out and others will jump up to grab it and force it back in)… they get away with the shit that they say and do because the ‘people’ tidy up the mess and make the illogical logical, the irrational rational, the insane sane, and so on…
But sometimes we pause and… that pause is an earthquake made of people becoming aware. That kind of awareness is frightening – how long can we expose ourselves to it and allow it to change us before we shut it down?
The Trump card isn’t about Trump himself… he’s a buffoon, a clown (interesting that in other news there’s a scary clown epidemic atm), a dangerous one but that’s the ‘normal’ of a buffoon. They’re always dangerous but we laugh at them to stop being scared by them and our own laughter makes us forget that they’re dangerous.
But we’re not laughing anymore… and that scares us.
Our ‘lol’s’ are worried, anxious, stressed…
LOL = screaming in fear but putting on a brave face because… no idea why we need to put a brave face on (perhaps for the same reason women keep putting on make-up even when they’re going without it ‘officially’)… just don’t want to scream as I might not be able to stop, so much to scream about. One scream and it all comes tumbling out… years of being good… for what and why!?! No longer know… nothing makes sense anymore… need to find a fragment of it to cling to…
Don’t fear the Trumps of this world, they’re quite a few of them but they’re fewer than the you’s of this world – you have more power than you know or are perhaps willing to accept, and perhaps that’s what scares you and all of us… people like Trump remind us about how much of our own power we’ve given away to others, or how much we’ve repressed, suppressed our force because it scares us what we’d do with it as… we tend to see such a thing as a ‘bad’ thing when we handle it… we don’t know if we can handle getting it out of the back of the closet into which we stuffed it… what do we do with it once we grab it? What will it do with us?
Power corrupts… what? Who? And what if we’re already corrupted?
What is power to you?